At now three in the morning, Ventus had little in the way of options—he retreated to his room. The party was still going on, if Terra's absence was anything to go by, but he didn't feel like doing any more socializing right now. He didn't even bother turning the lights on, groping his way to his bed as his brain kept playing his and Vanitas's last exchange—the way he'd been tossed out, discarded like the used condom Vanitas had thrown in the trash.
Yet with the object of his anger out of sight, it faded in front of the need for sleep. The weight of the past week bore down on him, and the next thing he knew, Ventus was waking up in the early afternoon. Sleep had washed away Ven's mood, leaving him with a strange sense of peaceful clarity.
He lay on his back, breathing deep, thinking about the previous night. Processing what he'd done. Try as he might, he couldn't find it in himself to regret it, even with how it had ended. Not out of some sense of accomplishment—Ven had never felt in any rush to lose his virginity, and that hadn't changed—but because of how the night had gone. Every detail was seared into his memory: the way Vanitas had looked at him, the sound of his voice, the feeling of his skin against Ven's, the alien coldness of his piercings and his reaction when Ventus had touched them. And yes, the mind-blowing orgasms.
And the way Vanitas had dismissed him…well, he'd agreed to it, hadn't he? And he still meant that. All he'd wanted was to get over Vanitas. So why had it hurt at all? Was it because of how fantastically amazing the sex had been? Because after years of fantasizing that he'd get to lose his virginity with a boy he loved, a boy who loved him and would never want him to leave, nothing could live up to the expectation? Maybe.
He wondered if it would change anything between himself and Vanitas. It was like things kept moving too fast to ever reach a status quo: from Vanitas's angry sneer Thursday, to his affable attitude Friday morning, to struggling to hold a conversation Friday afternoon…and then the events of the night.
This was all a confusing mixture of emotions. The sobering realization that Ventus had agreed to this didn't reduce his hurt, but the feeling of being alive drowned it out. Maybe it was just denial. But that was how he felt—ready to take on the world, to move forward in his life. In one word…good. Good, and extremely confused that he felt good.
Maybe, after some time, his mind would settle down by itself. In the meantime, he needed to get out of his head, and he knew how.
With a groan, he forced himself to sit up on his bed, and shake loose the last shreds of sleep. Then he got up, gathered a change of clothes, and—after checking if the way was clear—headed to the cluster's bathroom.
No one was there, which was expected—Ven had found a text from Terra saying he was staying over at Aqua's place, and Lauriam and Ienzo had also been at the party, meaning they were probably still sleeping. No sign of Vanitas either, which came more as a relief.
Brunch with me? he texted his brothers on his way downstairs. Without waiting for an answer, he got into his car and drove back to Daybreak. He hadn't been home in a week—longer than he'd ever been away from home, except for a few times he'd been abroad on vacation. But he wasn't abroad: he lived so close that it felt barely justifiable to stay away for this long, crazy first week of college notwithstanding.
His brothers must have gotten the message, because the twins burst out of the house as soon as Ventus pulled up in the driveway. Sora, with his ever-sunny smile; Roxas, one step behind, but a proud glint in his eye.
"Isn't it late for brunch?" Sora teased as Ven got out of the car.
It was two in the afternoon, but he just shrugged. "I woke up half an hour ago, and I'm hungry. So, you game?"
"Hell yeah!" Sora said. "I'm dying to get out of the house!"
Ven glanced at Roxas, who nodded with enthusiasm. A smile grew on his face—with the kind of force that made Ven guess he'd been trying to stifle it. "I got my driving license!" Roxas said, and beside him, Sora cheered, as if they'd rehearsed it.
"You did? Congrats!" Ventus said, pulling him into a hug. "So I guess you're gonna drive us, then?"
"I was hoping you'd say that," Roxas replied, gratefulness seeping into his tone. "Grandpa's at the office, by the way."
Ventus hadn't even really thought about their grandfather on the way here. "It's you guys I came to see," he simply said. "So, are we going yet? I'll tell you about college on the way, all right?"
They went to the Blitz, a former sports bar turned into a diner on the outskirts of Daybreak. It was a place where they'd spent many hours in their childhood, whenever their parents felt like going out—to celebrate some minor occasion, or just to avoid making dinner. After their parents' death, they'd kept the tradition alive, just the three of them. Eraqus had never shown any interest in joining—which, if Ventus was honest, was for the better.
Roxas drove, and Ventus wasn't surprised to see his brother was about as responsible a driver as one could get at the age of sixteen. "You know, I should get you a car," he noted as they neared the diner.
Roxas stared at him—and Sora too, from the back seat, Ventus could see him in the mirror. "You mean it?"
Ven shrugged. "It's only fair, right? I got my car at your age."
"But it was Mom's car. You didn't have to ask Grandpa to buy it for you."
That was true—but it didn't seem fair. "It's not like we can't afford it. And I think I can count on you not to crash it, right? I'll ask Grandfather about it. If he won't do it, I'll see what I can do myself." He sighed. "You guys need wheels now that I'm not home. And besides, that way you might be able to visit me every once in a while, okay?"
Roxas beamed at him. "Thanks, Ven." From the backseat, Sora whooped with joy, even though he wasn't the one being given anything.
Ven smiled back at his brother. "You know, I can't believe it took me this long to use that nickname again."
"Are you gonna keep using it?" Sora asked. "Now that everyone knows who you are?"
"Yeah, I think I am." He'd explained most of the situation during the ride—mostly to catch Sora up on everything, since he'd already told Roxas everything over Skype. How Vanitas had recognized him, and had let their neighbors know his identity, and how it had spilled. How, in spite of that, he'd made two friends. How, last night, he'd found a new side of himself—one that could be more at peace with being Ventus Enix, and with having many wannabe friends who only wanted favors.
He hadn't told them what had happened after the party. Yet. He wasn't sure he wanted to. He was there to get out of his own mind, not further into it. "Let's go eat," he said, mostly to distract himself. "I'm starving."
The Blitz was a narrow, elongated and open space. On the side of the road was the kitchen, separated from the tables by only a wooden counter painted a pale yellow. The tables were all lined up against the windowed wall, overlooking the fields outside of Daybreak. The view helped the diner feel less cramped than it was; in the mornings, Ven knew, the sun rose over those fields, offering a stunning vista.
At this hour, about half of the tables were occupied, and a drowsy air hovered inside the diner as it tended to do between rush hours. Most of the people here were regulars, here to catch up with a friend or with simply nothing better to do of their Saturday.
When the waiter, a young man barely older than Ventus named Ephemer, spotted them entering, he flashed a bright smile. "Hey, guys! Your usual table's free, I'll be right over!"
Their usual table was the one at the very end of the diner—peaceful, usually away from other customers unless the diner was full. It sat under the back window, which let in sunlight all throughout the afternoon. They sat as they always did: Roxas with his back to the window, although he was now too tall for the back of his seat to completely shelter him from the sun, and Sora and Ventus across from him.
For just a second, Ven allowed himself to bask in the sun. This place felt as much like home as their family house did, especially these days. This was where he felt the most grounded—especially with his brothers with him. With a contented sigh, he turned to Sora.
"So how did it feel to be grounded?" he asked, teasing.
"I survived," Sora said. "So that's something. But it was totally worth it."
"So I guess you didn't learn your lesson," Ventus said, trying not to sound too triumphant. For five years he'd been more or less in charge of his brothers, and he'd given up on grounding Sora a long time ago. It was nice to feel vindicated, but that didn't change the fact that Sora needed to understand he couldn't push their grandfather as far as he could Ventus.
Before he could say that, Ephemer came to take their order. Ventus asked for the breakfast formula, plus a burger, earning himself an impressed whistle from the waiter. Sora couldn't resist a burger as well, even though he'd already eaten, while Roxas settled on just a milkshake.
"Gotcha," Ephemer said, writing everything down. "So how's college? Didn't think I'd see you around here until Thanksgiving."
"I'm at DSU," Ventus said. "So I'm not that far away. I couldn't leave these two alone," he added, nodding at the twins.
"Oh, wow. You guys are lucky to have this one as your brother." On these words, he left to take their order to the kitchen.
Once they were alone again, Ventus turned back to Sora, unperturbed by the interruption. "Hear that? You're lucky to have me as your brother, so I hope you'll hear me out when I say this. You have to try to take it easier with Grandfather. I know it sucks, but he'll make your life more miserable than you can make his if you don't."
"I know," Sora said. "And I swear I'll try to do that. But it really was worth it." He glanced back, to see if anyone was nearby, then looked back at Roxas and Ventus with a conspiratorial look. "I lost my virginity. With—" He hesitated briefly. "With Riku."
"You what?" Roxas burst out; then, in a lower voice, he added, "How could you keep that from me a whole week?"
"I didn't have my phone, and I wanted to tell Ven myself! It wouldn't be fair if I only told one of you guys!"
Before this could devolve into an argument, Ventus cut in. "I—thought you liked Kairi."
"I did!" Sora said. "I still do. I think? It's really confusing. And, you know, it just kinda happened. We were waiting for Kairi at his place, we were talking, and then—you know." He paused. "Well, I guess neither of you know, actually." He turned to Ven. "Are you mad that I beat you to it?"
"Please," Ven retorted. "I figured out you'd be the first of us to get laid pretty much as soon as I had the talk with Dad." He briefly hesitated, but he couldn't hold the next few words in. "Besides, I'm not that far behind you."
Sora's eyebrows shot up far enough as to disappear behind stray locks of hair, and Roxas's face was a stunned mask. "Spill," Roxas said.
"I told you guys about Vanitas. Well, last night at the party…" He trailed off. "I don't know how to explained it. I saw him looking at me, and I just knew what it meant, you know? We kissed outside the bar, and then I drove us back to the dorm." He nodded exaggeratedly. "To his room."
"Damn!" Sora let out. "My big bro's got game!"
Ven burst out laughing at his reaction, but it was a good laugh, draining tension out of him. He was glad it was out—glad that he'd told someone. "I mean, I didn't do much, but…" He grinned. "I guess I do."
"So are you, like, dating? Because Riku and I talked about it, and we want to be official boyfriends, but we're just trying to figure out how to talk to Kairi about it first, and—" He cut himself off. "Sorry, I'm rambling."
"Nah," Ven said. "I'm the one upstaging your moment. Besides, I didn't really want to date him, and he made it pretty clear it was just a one-night stand for him too." He eyed Sora. "And don't think I didn't notice you slipping the news that you and Riku are already at the 'boyfriend' stage, by the way."
Sora shuffled in his seat with an awkward smile. "Do you think it'll be fine?"
Ven didn't need to ask what he was referring to. "I don't know," he admitted. "I wasn't out in high school—I mean, I'm barely out now. Most people sounded open-minded, but you never know what someone's real reaction will be until you tell them about yourself."
Sora sighed. "Yeah, that's what I figured."
"You and Riku are basically the most popular boys in our class," Roxas said gently. "And if that changes, you'll still have a spot with me at the losers' table."
"Heh, thanks," Sora said, smiling back at his twin. "You know there's a spot for you with us, too, right?"
"Yeah. I know."
Roxas didn't elaborate past that, and their food arrived then, putting the conversation on hold. By the time they resumed talking, they moved on to talking about classes—both the twins' and Ventus's. Ven told them about the Spanish class he was taking, and how his teacher was from Destiny Islands herself.
"She's giving us this assignment, we have to make a video essay on something," he said.
"You should totally do something about the Islands," Roxas suggested.
"That's what I was thinking. See if I can get some insight from the family." He paused, and suddenly, a thought hit him. "Of course, I'd have to run the idea by Vanitas first." Both his brothers looked at him with questioning eyes, and he realized he hadn't told them about that part yet. "He's my partner for that. Not by choice, mind you. There was just no one else."
"Uh-huh," Roxas teased. "Well I'm sure all that time having to work together will just be horrible."
Ventus chuckled. "I didn't say that. Yesterday, during that class—it was the first time I really managed to have a conversation with him. And—" He paused, wondering if he should keep that detail to himself, then decided he didn't owe Vanitas any loyalty, especially over his own brothers. "His biological parents are also from the Islands. That's why he's learning Spanish. It's kind of the same reason we did, you know?"
"Yeah, I guess," Sora said, but Roxas was still grinning.
"You've got a cru-ush," he singsonged. "Admit it, at least."
Ventus huffed. "I mean, I slept with the guy. I'm not gonna say I don't like him. But—as I said, he made it clear it was just one time. And I also want to get over him." Wasn't he supposed to have already moved on? Wasn't that his rationale for sleeping with him in the first place? He shook his head. "Nothing will come out of it."
"You got the most important part out of the way," Sora said smugly. Roxas rolled his eyes, but he remained silent.
"Can we just move on?" Ven asked, pleading. So much for keeping his mind focused on something else—even if he was glad he'd told his brothers.
"All right, all right," Roxas said. "Hey, there's this new girl in my orchestra class, she started classes a week late. She lives in Radiant City—"
It was late in the afternoon when they left the diner and Ventus drove the twins back home. For just a moment, it felt like he was still in high school, going home after hanging out at the Blitz like nothing had changed. That wave of nostalgia receded when he pulled up in front of home, however, and he spotted their grandfather's car.
"Do you think we'll get in trouble for going out without telling him?" Sora asked meekly.
"You can't be that afraid of him already," Roxas teased.
"It's just—as long as I'm grounded, Riku and I can't have our official first date." He turned towards Ventus. "You know what it's like."
"I'm not going on any first date in the foreseeable future," Ven protested. "I'm sure it'll be fine. He'd have blown up our phones otherwise."
Sora sighed. "Yeah, I guess."
Ven considered coming in to greet Eraqus, then decided against it. "I should head back to campus. Talk to you guys soon, okay?" He glanced at Roxas in the rear view mirror. "And I promise I'll talk to Grandfather about that car. I'll prepare my case first."
"I know," Roxas said with a smile. "Thanks again for that." But when Sora exited the car, Roxas lingered behind.
"Something on your mind?" Ventus asked. "You didn't talk much about yourself today."
"It's fine," Roxas said, shrugging. "There isn't much to talk about."
"You know what I'm actually asking. How are you, Ro?"
Roxas sighed, his shoulders growing slack as he sank further into the backseat. "Same as always, I guess? I promised you I'd call if I got worse. It's just, it feels like everyone's moving forward but me."
"Ro, you can't compare yourself to other people."
"I know that—"
"You made some incredible progress of your own, getting better," Ventus continued over his protests. "That's important too." He chuckled. "Honestly, I'd say it's way more important than me sleeping with a guy I still don't even know I like or hate."
"Come on, don't bullshit me. You like him."
"Not the point, Ro. We were talking about you." Even so, he couldn't help but blush at Roxas's suggestion. When a triumphant grin grew on Roxas's face, though, it seemed worth it. He smiled back. "You'll get to make your own steps forward. I'm sure of it. I mean, if I could make friends once I was out of that stupid school, I'm sure you will too."
"I hope you're right," Roxas said. "Talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
"The usual time," Ventus confirmed.
