THE AFTER HOURS

What happens before the choosing ceremony? We are required to study according to our faction. In Dauntless, our education system does not only cover physical education, but we are taught to become intelligent, as long as we don't pose serious questions or becoming treacherous to our faction. As a faction that serve as guardian, we know some secrets that other factions don't and we have the privilege to own weapons. However, I do not consider it a privilege. I will stay away from that, if I must.

I am only 12 months away before my choosing ceremony. I wonder if Dauntless is going to be my faction. My mind always wanders when I am in my classroom, when I am at the training, when I lift at the gym. I don't feel like Dauntless enough. I'm pretty much tired of this faction—the violence, the arrogance or dare I say, the patriarch.

It is a normal day at school. I do not have any internship shift today, but I do not feel like hanging with my friends after hours either. I'm preparing to go home or go to the lake again—that is when Eric is surprising me, he stands before me.

"Susan." He says, his hands are tucked inside his pocket. I've never seen him so insecure. I always remember him to be always standing tall with his puffed chest thrusting and his muscles flexing. This time, I see him like a normal boy.

"Eric. Are you patrolling here?" I ask, trying to create a meaningless conversation.

"No." he says. "I come to see you."

I raise my eyebrows. "Does my father want to see me or something?"

"No." He answers me like it's something stupid. "If your father wants to see you, then he'll come to see you."

I roll my eyes. Maybe he doesn't realize that he's already like a son he wishes to have.

"Then, what do you want?" I say without being so coy.

The facial muscle in Eric tightens. His eyes find mine, and suddenly his facial expression is soften. "Are you hungry? Let's get something to eat."

"Eric… " I squint my almond brown eyes. "Are you asking me to go on a lunch date?"

He clicks his tongue. "It's a lunch. Don't flatter yourself." He is still standing there, looking mildly annoyed—and somehow his grumpiness makes him look more adorable. He's looking like a giant teddy bear. If I say this out loud, he will hate me for compromising his masculinity.

I use his magic word. "Okay."—my okay, sounds unwilling.

Eric takes me to a dinner, called Valor near Merciless Mart. I order a steak sandwich with a side of fries and he orders the same with a side of Dauntless cake. I prefer to have a sweet nectarine—fresh out of Amity farm. Eric insists to pay on my lunch, eventhough I say to him that I can cover it. It is just lunch.

"Are you so desperate to have friends that you invite me for lunch? Where's that Abnegation initiate you always talk about?" I ask. It seems like I don't hold my tongue hard enough. I can tell Eric is not happy with the way I'm asking him that question. However, he manages to get his cool and answers me.

"Four? He is not my friend." He says, I can sense anger in his speech—he must have hated that boy. "And yes, maybe I am so desperate that I need a friend. Is it so wrong?"

I am stunned at his emotional articulation. Eric is still finishing the last bite of his sandwich. I am dragging his dessert which is still a whole.

"There's nothing wrong with that." I dig a fork through the moist layer of the chocolate cake. I taste it—I am very confident to say my cake is better than the dinner's. The dinner's one is made for batches and often prepared in such rush. I measure my cake so it can satisfy 4 people—myself, my dad, my mom and one extra person or basically a second serving and it is made with love. I use my favorite ingredients which is a hazelnut cream for velvety rich flavor.

"Why aren't you hanging out with your friends?" Eric begins to interrogate me as well. He is watching me taking a second dig on his chocolate cake. He doesn't seem uncomfortable.

"I don't feel like watching them… " I pause, and I continue with repulsion. "… sticking their tongue into each other's throats or giving oral sex in the bathroom."

Eric studies my face. I'm just staring at the entrance door ahead of me, paying attention if any of my friends are passing through the door, because I don't want to be found out spending time with an older Dauntless soldier and starts a rumor.

Suddenly, his coldness breaks into a joyous laughter. I am very conscious if he's becoming too loud that everybody is starting to turn their eyes to our table. However, I am distracted by the light in his eyes and the arch of his smile. I've never seen him so liberated and happy and that brings smile to my face too.

"What's funny about it?" I ask. I pretend to act cold, but I cannot help to notice that my face is flustered and my cheeks are hurting from smiling.

"In my old faction—"

"Erudite—" I correct him.

He rolls his eyes. "Erudite, fine… In Erudite, we don't openly talk about sex for pleasure. Sex is for recreation purpose. It is about how we transfer our genetic to our next of kin. So yeah, sex is for pleasure is something new to me."

I nod my head. "So, you're looking forward to find more about it here in Dauntless."

He can see my crooked smile, but he buries his head and avoids my gaze. I cannot believe Eric finds pleasure talk to be awkward—I thought I am most rigid in the whole Dauntless' teenager's circle. Glad to know that my rank has been succeeded by six feet, 180 pound, neck-tattooed Eric Coulter.

"Or have you found out about it though?" I cannot resist but to keep digging for his answer.

He bites his bottom lip, he's not giving in to me. "I—need to go back to my patrolling shift. But thanks for being a wonderful company for lunch. I hope we can do this more."

"Eric…" I shake my head. "Okay, fine if you don't have to give me answer now."

Eric stands up from his chair. I picks up his rifle—at this point, I even forget that he brings weapon during our casual lunch and I feel a little intimidated by that fact. I see a smirk on his face. He doesn't even say goodbye or something, but I can tell that he really enjoys this lunch and he hopes to have a second or more chance for this.


My aloof friendship with Eric starts to become tender by times. The lunch at the Valor diner has become our regular activity. Twice a week or as depends on our luck and our assignment, we patrol together.

It is almost sunset in the northwest of Dauntless compound. Eric and I are on the top of the Falcon tower. They said it used to be a broadcasting tower—or some sort of building that is used to transmit message, but now it is dysfunction. I tell Eric that I always go here to calm myself down as I can see the vast field of Amity farm from this height.

"Do you realize you've been talking a lot about Amity?" Eric asks me.

"I do."

"What do you see in them?"

"I see a bunch of happy and peaceful people. Maybe because they are the complete opposite of my faction—I am drawn to them."

"Drawn?"

"I develop curiosity of their value and culture. Is there something wrong?"

"What does your parent think of your fascination with Amity?" He turns at me, his face looks serious.

"They don't think of anything because they don't know." I answer clearly. "Besides, we co-exist with other factions. I do not only respect Amity, but Erudite, Candor, Abnegation too…"

Eric shakes his head as if he is growing skeptical of my opinion.

"You left Erudite." I take a jab at him. "What made you left your faction?"

He answers calmly. "My aptitude test. Apparently, I am more Dauntless than Erudite. I am not talented enough to stay in Erudite. They are pretty competitive and their intellect can be vain. I think I'm more equipped to be a soldier. I have the physique and the mental to be one. I think I'm going to excel."

I look at Eric. His hazel eyes are reflecting lights from the view ahead of us—the golden field of Amity and the grey sky. I wonder if he talks like this to any of his friend. He seems to be very articulate in expressing himself—I can tell he doesn't lose that sense of Erudite in him.

"What about you? Your choosing ceremony is a year from now." He says. "Will you choose Dauntless or other factions?"

I shrug my shoulder. "It'll depend on my aptitude test of course. I don't want to think about it. I just want to relax."

Eric chuckles. "Relax… that is an uncommon vocabulary in Dauntless. You know that."

"So, what is a common Dauntless vocabulary?" I knock his elbow, teasing him.

"You know… fast, ready, shoot!" he makes a gun with his finger and shoot across the distance. "BAM!" he imitates the sound of a gun explosion. "Dauntless can't relax."

"I know." I hide my face. "We don't relax. We must be up on our feet. We need to stay guarded for this city. But for what?"

I look beyond the farm, and there is the vastness of field ahead. "Will there be danger coming from outside? If so, then what is it?"

I turn around to Eric, our eyes meet. I realize that his broad shoulder are brushing against mine, so are his fingers. We are sitting so close. I can smell the whiff of his perfume stronger than ever. I can feel his warmth.

"Don't think about it right?" He moves his face close to me. "Just relax…" I can smell his cool breath as he opens his mouth now. The smell is mint and so comforting. But I pull myself away from him.

"Eric, we should get going." I say calmly. I expect Eric to show a sign of regret or shamed, but he remains cool-headed, almost unreadable to me. "The others will look for us."

"Right." He gets up and turns his back on me. He climbs down the roof without giving me any cue.