New Year's was quite a change this year from what James had known in the past. He was used to the excitement he had waking up New Year's day, the rush to prep for the annual Potters' New Year's bash. He'd thrown the last one the previous New Years. Just a week after his wedding, he and Lily were still living with his parents while they got the cottage in Godric's Hollow ready to be made a home.

While he'd known this would be the last New Year's he'd spend at home, he hadn't realised it'd be the last one spent in that house ever. The last one where his parents were still there to celebrate.

This year, instead of the Potters having a big New Year's party, Alice and Frank had volunteered to host. James knew it was likely because they wanted an excuse to let all their friends know at once that by the time they were ringing in 1981 there'd be another member of the Longbottom family joining them.

"Lil!" James called up the stairs after his wife. "If you take any longer we're going to miss the countdown!"

James had been waiting, fully dressed, for Lily to get ready for nearly half an hour. Teetering on half passed nine, he didn't want to miss the best bits of drinking at the party before they rang in the New Year.

"Just a minute!" she shouted for the hundredth time. James collapsed down into the couch, shooting shapes from his wand to kill time. He'd just finished stringing together the outline of a dog when Lily came stomping down the stairs.

"You know how to keep a man waiting," James complained, not bothering to look up as she stepped into the room.

"All for a good cause." Lily stepped in front of James, doing a little twirl. She wore a blue knee length dress. The details of it were of little concern to James who could only focus on the way it clung to her waist and the dress' deep V-neck.

"Too much?" Lily asked. Her red hair was strung up into a high ponytail, which flipped from side to side as she swayed.

"Come here," James instructed his wife – a rare occurrence.

"I'm guessing that's a no?" Lily teased him. She didn't move an inch, James stretching his hand out for her.

"Don't make me chase you," he smirked. Lily gave in, taking a seat on his lap before James pressed his lips to hers, kissing her deeply.

"We could spare some more time…" he suggested, lips now travelling down her neck.

"Nu-uh, I promised Alice before ten."

"You're the one who took till now to get ready!"

"Exactly, so let's get a move on it."

James pouted like a small boy as Lily got the floo network ready for the two of them to use, the pair travelling to the Longbottom's home one after the other. When James emerged from the fireplace he found the home's main floor brimming with guests.

Alice and Frank had described a "small get together" of friends but had clearly gone a little crazy with the guest list.

"I'll get the drinks," James whispered into Lily's ear.

"Just a Butterbeer for me," Lily told him.

"I'm sorry—"

"I don't want to get too drunk before the countdown!"

James shook his head with disapproval as he approached the kitchen. He'd get her a glass of sherry regardless, knowing it was her favourite. No one was supposed to reach the countdown without some alcohol flowing through their bloodstream.

"Prongs! Just in time!" Sirius beckoned him from across the room, standing at the kitchen counter with a bottle of Firewhiskey in his hand. Remus, Fabian and Mary all waited patiently behind him for their shot to be poured.

"Any interaction with Marlene yet?" James asked Remus, who stood far enough away from the bartender that they could speak discreetly.

"She's stuck to Dorcas like glue all night and he's barely left the kitchen," Remus said with a questionable eyebrow raise.

"Here we go, team," Sirius said, handing each person their respective shot. James gave his friend a curious look. He was certain by midnight Sirius would have ingested much more that his fill of alcohol.

"To the 80s!"

"The 80s!" everyone chorused.


Alice and Frank's party felt suffocating to Marlene, who'd spent most of her night avoiding Sirius like dragon pox. She had escaped to the bathroom with Dorcas, her first real breath of air the whole night.

"So, are you going to face Black tonight?" Dorcas asked as Marlene took her turn.

"Probably," she admitted, hating herself for it. "Realistically, a few more drinks down the road I'm going to forget why we were supposed to be taking a break from each other tonight."

Dorcas was propped up on the counter, balancing her glass of red currant rum on her thigh.

"Can I put my two cents where they don't belong?" she asked. Marlene was struggling to get her tights back over her hips. She hated winter for making dressing up nearly impossible.

"Go for it."

"Black behaved like a total ass," Dorcas acknowledged. "But, he seems pretty remorseful to me."

"I know that he feels bad. It's just…that's not the point," Marlene reasoned. "The point is that he behaves this way and just expects to be forgiven. He doesn't understand that his actions have consequences, it's what makes him think he can say stuff like that and get away with it."

"Well then call it," Dorcas told her bluntly, hopping off the counter as the two girls made their exit.

"It's not that simple—"

"Marlene," Dorcas spoke sternly. She grabbed Marlene by the shoulders, the two girls at the top of the staircase. "Remember when you were with Henry and you two got into that mess of a fight?"

"Of course…"

"What if he'd never forgiven you that night? What if he hadn't had the courage to forgive you?"

"Maybe he shouldn't have," Marlene admitted, running her hand through her long blonde curls. She could hear people laughing downstairs, the sound of joy. It left a bitter taste in her mouth, a reminder of the sounds outside Donovan's right before the fire had hit. "It's clear that I didn't regret it, I ended up with Sirius barely a year later."

"The point is, he loved you," Dorcas reminded her. "Enough to overlook that vital flaw, the fact that you were torn between him and someone else. I mean, as much as I loved Henry I know you'd likely have gone your separate ways. A blind man could see how mad you and Sirius are for each other."

The contents of Marlene's stomach curdled. She hated the suggestion that Sirius was the only one for her, simply because the concept was frightening. Someone who could change temperatures so quickly – who could hurt her with just a word – was in total control of her emotions.

"I'm so glad that you guys had that night. I'm glad he didn't waste his last day angry."

"So you think I should forgive him?"

"I think that it's a mistake to let one bump stop you from being with someone you love."

Dorcas descended the stairs after that. Marlene stuck behind. She listened to the sound of couples chatting warmly, friends sharing jokes. She felt a familiar sense of loneliness. There she sat, watching it all happen right before her eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to join in. Marlene settled down on the top step, knees tucked into her chest.

"Need a drink?" James asked. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, gazing up at his old friend.

"That'd be nice."

He walked up slowly, passing her a glass of sherry.

"It was meant to be Lily's but I can't seem to find her anywhere."

"Cheers," Marlene said flatly, clinking her glass with James' bottle of beer. They were growing close to midnight and yet Marlene did not feel at all ready to ring in the New Year. Not while all the baggage of the old one still clung to her like dead weight.

"Hey James," Marlene whispered – as quietly as she could with the ruckus from downstairs. "I really miss them." It didn't take a genius to figure out whom she was talking about as Marlene buried her face in the side of her friend's shoulder.

"Me too," James sighed. "I've been thinking about them a lot tonight."

"I never appreciated how much we needed them."

"I know."

"I'm really scared," Marlene added, reaching for James' hand. It clutched onto hers strongly, a reassurance.

"Want to know a secret?" James spoke softly to her. "So am I."

"As if. Look at you; you're living the dream. You've got the dream home, the dream wife—"

"It never goes away Mar, not really. It just forms into something new. Scared about what'll happen to them. Scared about how your relationship will end up."

"Maybe you were right," Marlene continued to sulk. "When you tried to keep us apart."

"Nah," James smirked. "I think you guys have proven me wrong on that one."

She wanted to argue but despite their current situation, Marlene couldn't pretend it wasn't true. That she didn't still ache for Sirius when she woke up each morning. She missed him. She'd missed him less than twenty-four hours after she walked out that door and she tortured herself for it. How could she, someone who prided herself on independence and strength, fall back into the arms of someone who so frequently hurt her over and over again?

"Tell me what to do," she begged James. She felt like a child again. Sitting in the Potters' bedroom, head rested in Caroline's lap, pleading for an answer. Begging for the truth. What on earth was she supposed to do? It had been easier for Caroline to give her the answer when the questions were simple. Should she continue playing with Jannie, the girl who lived down the road, even though she'd pulled Marlene's hair? Should she forgive James for saying she couldn't climb a tree because she was a girl?

"Want in on a little secret, McKinnon?" James said, turning to her with a devilish grin. "You've got yourself figured out better than anyone else at this party."


As midnight quickly approached everyone had gathered up in the living room. The radio played in the background, the party waiting for it to announce the start of the countdown. Flutes of champagne floated through the throngs of people on silver trays, guests snatching glasses for themselves.

Mary, who had spent most of the evening catching up with friends she hadn't seen in far too long, found herself searching for Emmeline as the clock ticked by.

"She's probably disappeared somewhere with Gideon," Reg reassured her as Mary scanned the room like a hawk. Mary, unlike her kind-hearted, but oblivious, boyfriend knew that Emmeline and Gideon had not been on good terms recently. In fact, to avoid the stress they'd been under, her friend had opted to go stay with her parents in Spain over the holidays rather than spend them at home with her boyfriend.

"I'm just going to do a quick search," Mary said, leaning in for a quick peck.

"Don't be long! You better be the first pair of lips I kiss as I ring in 1980."

"I better," Mary smirked, disappearing into the crowd.

She searched the entire ground floor for the couple, coming up empty. It was only when she'd finished her round of the kitchen, wondering whether they'd both decided to leave early, that she noticed the sound of voices coming from the kitchen's side door. Little did she know Alice and Frank's home had a garage in it – one filled with anything but a car.

Mary pulled open the door as quietly as possible – peeking through the small crack she allowed herself.

"You're drunk and you're making a scene," Gideon growled with frustration. Mary could see a sliver of Emmeline – right up in his face – making her feelings known to the man in front of her.

"No kidding I'm drunk!" she barked. "That's the only way I can feel good anymore!"

Mary could see the rage burning in Gideon's eyes. She wondered whether it might be best for her to step in and cool the tension when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"They're fighting again, aren't they?" Fabian whispered.

"I'm taking you home—"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Carefully, Mary pushed the door shut, staring up at Fabian with defeat.

"God, that's horrible."

"That's not even the worst of it," Fabian sighed. He gravitated towards the cooler in the corner – stocked full of drinks – and pulled himself out a beer. "One weekend she came over while our parents were away and I had to separate them it got so intense."

"They're going to break up," Mary concluded, joining Fabian in his quest for some more alcohol.

"Probably. That's not going to solve much either, though, seeing as they're both in love with each other."

"That's love?"

"That's stress," Fabian pointed out, tilting his bottle towards the garage door. "That's over a year of worrying about the other one's safety and frustration over a never ending war. Gideon resents her for getting an easier deal – not having to work at all on top of fighting."

"He's an idiot for thinking that's easier," Mary scoffed. She knew better than anyone the toll that Emmeline's family life took on her. While she had plenty of money to support herself she also lacked the support of a loving family. Her parents were rarely around. Weeks went by with no communication between the two parties. She could die at any moment and it'd take them too long to realise it.

The door swung open, Emmeline appearing in the doorway, staring between Mary and Fabian for a second. It didn't take a genius to figure out what the two were doing standing there.

"He left," Emmeline informed them, voice cracking.

"Oh Em…" Mary cooed. Fabian placed down his drink to give Emmeline's shaking frame a close hug.

"I don't know what to do," Emmeline sobbed, the alcohol doing little to help the situation. "Tell me what to do."

"You're going to figure it out," Fabian promised, smoothing out her strawberry blonde waves. "You're going to be okay."

Mary could see her friend's tear stained expression over Fabian's shoulder, her heart shattering into a million pieces.


Once the clock struck midnight, and guests had begun shooting confetti from the tips of their wands, Alice and Frank took to the front of the living room to make their big announcement.

"Hey, everyone! Can we get your attention for a moment?" Frank commanded the crowd. Beaming faces filled with love and joy turned to face them. The 80s had officially begun. Alice hadn't any clue what the new decade would bring with it. She greeted the change with excitement – and a fair amount of fear.

"Alice and I have a little bit of a surprise for everyone…"

With one arm wrapped around her waist, Frank turned to Alice to give the news. Her stomach turned as the room grew uncomfortably silent, not a voice to be heard.

"Well…this wasn't expected…" she pressed her lips together anxiously. "But…there's going to be another addition to our family in the new year."

The room was filled at first with gasps and expressions of disbelief. Their close friends – the ones who'd already been aware of the news – stepped forward to hug the couple first.

Remus gave her a tight squeeze, Alice melting into the embrace of her good friend.

"I'm so excited for you, Al." He pressed a kiss to her cheek. "You're going to be an amazing mother."

It was one of the first times she'd heard someone reassure her of the fact. Other than Frank, everyone had been startled by the news, no one quite sure whether to congratulate the couple or grieve for them.

With hesitation, the guests of the party came forward with words of praise. Alice could tell the majority of them were forced. People stared at her differently as they approached. What was wrong with her? Didn't she want to have a life for herself?

She felt like some kind of failure for participating in one of life's greatest gifts. Not only did she feel judgment for doing such a thing at a time of war but also for having a baby so young. At a time when women were finally feeling they had some freedom and independence in their world there was Alice falling into the pattern, they'd so desperately tried to escape. Did it mean she'd failed the cause?

"It'll be nice to weed out some of the competition in the office for a while," Dorcas smirked once she'd made it up to congratulate the pair.

"Hey, I'll be in the office until the day I'm due!" Alice insisted. While she understood fieldwork would need to stop until after their kid was born, she wasn't able to sit idly for nine months while the rest of her friends were in constant danger.

"I don't doubt it," Dorcas nodded. She gave her friend a hug and Alice felt a little relief flow through her.

"You must think we're mad," she whispered, just loud enough for Dorcas to hear.

"Mad? As if. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner."

Tear prickled at the corner of Alice's big brown eyes. She gripped Dorcas by the arms, holding her close.

"Really?" she insisted.

"I don't think you're mad," Dorcas promised her with a reassuring smile. "Fuck anyone who disagrees."


After the countdown, the party began to slow process of clearing out. Many still remained after the flow of champagne and confetti, lounging around, chatting drunkenly with their friends. Everyone seemed to share in the joy of a new year's fresh start.

Sirius, for one, was drunk as a skunk. He couldn't remember his drink count as he stumbled onto Alice and Frank's back deck for a cigarette.

The stars were out and the night sky looked beautiful as Sirius gazed up at it from the porch step he sat on. He watched it intently, waiting for a shooting star to fly across - he'd always known them to be lucky. When they were younger, and sleepovers were still a thing of excitement, the Marauders would sneak out after bedtime and lay behind the Potters' home to watch the sky. The first one to see a shooting star was always awarded in some way, usually with a special trading card from a chocolate frog.

Sirius heard the sound of the back door sliding shut and turned his head to see Marlene had stepped out into the cold.

"You haven't got a coat on," she informed him. She hadn't really noticed, not with the warm flow of alcohol through his veins. Marlene, who'd carried a blanket out with her, draped it over his shoulders. She wore a jacket herself, taking her place on the step beside him.

"Can I bum a cigarette?" she requested. It was the first civil conversation they'd had in weeks.

"Last I heard you were slowing down."

"I've never been very good at self-control," she reminded him, a subtle hint at their own relationship. Sirius opened up his box, watching as she slowly slid a cigarette from it and used her wand to light the end of it.

"Alice and Frank seem happy," she noted, making casual conversation.

"Yeah." Sirius didn't bother sharing his true feelings on the matter knowing it would only rock the boat when they already rested on choppy water.

He watched her as she took long drags on her cigarette, every action graceful and deliberate. He couldn't help but admire her beauty. He wanted so badly to tell her how much he regretted his words. He wanted to tell her about his visit to 12 Grimmauld Place and the great conversation with his cousin. He was not one of them. He was not cruel. Sirius worried that behind those blue eyes she thought otherwise. In her eyes, he would be a monster forever more.

"Marlene," he said with emphasis. She turned to look at him and he could tell immediately this was not the time for a reconciliation.

"I know," she told him. "I'm just not ready yet."

"But you will be? Eventually?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't know, Sirius." What if she didn't? What if he'd ruined the one good thing he'd ever really had? After years of repressed feelings and playing hard he'd thought the toughest part was over. He'd been wrong of course, being together was hardest of all.

"I just want to sit like this for a little while, okay? This I can do."

He was too afraid to say a word, scared that it might disrupt whatever it was laid between them on that back step.

"You know, you're probably right," she sighed. "About the baby being a mistake."

"Oh?"

"Not that I don't they'll be great parents, it just seems a little naive to me, to think that you can get away with something like that now..."

"Not to mention they've nearly been recruited three times now." It sounded even crazier when Sirius said it out loud.

"I want to go back so badly," Marlene admitted. "Back to that change room after practice, the first time…" She didn't need to say any more to jog Sirius memory. "I remember how smug I felt after that afternoon…"

"Do you remember breakfast the next morning?" Sirius reminded her with a smirk.

"You mean when you pointed out the monster of a hickey you'd left on my neck in front of everyone? Yeah, that one is etched into my memory forever."

"Yeah, but the real highlight was you spending a whole afternoon insisting that it would never happen again only to end up in the fifth-floor broom closet with me that night…"

"Okay, we have established that I am weak-willed!" Marlene cried out defensively, laughing at the memory all the while. Silence fell over them after that. They weren't sixteen anymore. There were no longer castle walls to protect them or the strict guidance of their professors.


Lily and James arrived home sometime after two. More accurately, Lily dragged her overly intoxicated husband through the fireplace and practically fell over as they landed in the middle of their living room.

"You, mister, need sleep."

"It was a good party."

"It was," Lily smiled. She forgot that despite her husband's skinny frame he still weighed much more than her, making his lack of cooperation rather difficult. Lily pushed him forward towards the stairs and made sure he got in bed all right, stripping him down to his boxers before she tapped the cup beside the bed to fill it with water.

"Hey," James whispered, as though they were two school kids sneaking in after a long night out. "You looked beautiful tonight."

"You cheeky bastard," Lily smirked. James took her hand then, pulling her down onto the bed beside him.

"Nu-uh," Lily protested as he tried to bring her in for a kiss.

"I'm a dying man!"

"You're a drunk man," she corrected her husband, giving his hair an affectionate ruffle. "You need sleep."

"I need you," James insisted. Lily laughed as he pulled her in for a cuddle, his arms locked tight around her. She was happy he'd managed to have such fun for the night. It felt rare they got time to just be young, left to make a mess around them. No, those times were rare and few between.

Lily waited until she heard the sound her James' breath even out and uncoiled herself, slipping out from his embrace. She wasn't very tired herself and instead wandered down to the kitchen for a warm cup of tea. It was the suggestion her father had always offered when she was unable to sleep.

He would make up a steaming mug of peppermint tea and then he'd sit her down and get Lily to spill whatever it was that was keeping her awake.

"What is it then, darlin'?" he'd ask with a heavy yawn.

"I don't know…"

"Yes you do, what's keeping you up?"

Fourteen-year-old Lily, with her short red hair and her youthful green eyes, gave up within a matter of seconds. "It's Severus," she admitted.

"What's happened, then?"

"I don't think he wants to be friends anymore."

"You two are best friends," her father reasoned.

"Yeah...but now he hangs out with all kinds of people who…" Lily wasn't sure how to explain Wizard politics to her father. "They aren't a big fan of em, to say the least."

"You know what's important, Lil? That you try to be the best person that you can be. If Sev's friends don't like you then bollocks to them. What matters is how you two feel about your friendship. Anyways, considering how often I see that boy coming around to hang out with you I highly doubt he'll be running for the hills anytime soon."

The whistle of the kettle drew her from the memory. Lily flicked her wand to shut it off, pouring the boiling water into a cup of loose leaf tea.

Her father wasn't there to guide her now. There were no words of wisdom to be offered from across the table, no nudge to admit what it was that troubled Lily. What would he say even if he were here? Would he be disappointed? Proud? Excited? What would he tell her to do?

"I need you, dad," Lily whispered into the empty kitchen. The plea fell on deaf ears and Lily realised, with the sink of her stomach, that she was alone. Face in her hands she cried long and hard, wishing away the decision that weighed down on her. She was too afraid to stand up and go back to bed, too afraid of what the morning would carry. Going to bed meant waking up the next day and realising that her problem had not miraculously disappeared.

She stayed down in the kitchen until she'd emptied the entire pot of tea. Lily's eyelids began to feel heavy and her body light but she still couldn't seem to pull herself up the stairs and into bed with her husband. Instead, she curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over her. She felt that here, hidden downstairs alone, she could hide from the responsibility she was reminded of each time she looked at James.

Lily's eyes drifted shut and when the opened again her mother was crouched down in front of her. Blonde hair in its usual ponytail, pink scrubs on for work. She smiled, that warm and comforting smile Lily had seen so often as she was growing up.

"Look at my baby," she cooed, brushing her hand through Lily's hair. "All grown up."

"Mum, I'm scared," Lily admitted.

"Don't be," her mother promised. "Everything is going to be alright."