Part Two: Life

Chapter Five:

I'm so tired.

A shrine just sent us their entire collection of artifacts they unearthed while renovating. Some of the pieces even date back to the 1300s. I've been working furiously to catalogue everything so we can have it out and ready for the upcoming festival season.

Hina stays with me for as long as she can, but most nights I'm in the office alone until well past midnight, tonight is no exception.

My feet are killing me, my eyes are straining as I squint in the darkness. Shoulders heavy, I do my best to stay silent.

I don't want to wake the sleeping demon upstairs…

Tiptoeing down the hall I find my way to the kitchen.

All I want to do is turn my brain off. I don't want to think about anything other than eating or sleeping. There are so many dates and artifacts floating in my scattered mind, I can't retain anymore information.

I find the food that Sesshoumaru left for me and heat it up. I also find the bottle of Whiskey we keep in the pantry.

Although I shouldn't say we, more like me. I am the only one who drinks whiskey in this house.

Pouring a glass I settle into the chair at our kitchen table. It tastes like a campfire and burns all the way down my throat.

I put my head down and look at the time, if it's 1AM here then it's 1PM tomorrow in Maine. I just want to take a step out of my own life for a moment and hear about someone else's.

"Kags!?" Mel sounds worried on the other end as soon as she picks up the phone.

"Mel! How are you!" I'm pouring myself another glass. I wonder if Sesshoumaru is awake.

"It must be almost one in the morning there!" I close my eyes for a moment, rubbing my nose.

"How's Moichi?" I derail the topic of how late it is.

"He's so sweet! Ted and I love him! How are you Kagome? How's Souta? I heard about your grandfather, I'm really sorry you had to put him to rest so close to your mom" Mel never wants to talk about anyone but herself usually, today must be special.

"Everyone's doing well considering, that's so sweet of you to ask… How are you Mel? Tell me everything about your day." I can hear her exhale, she's thinking, Mel never thinks before she speaks.

"I guess I can tell you… You're a whole world away…" Her giddiness is palpable through the receiver.

"You know how Teddy and I have been trying to have a baby?" I can hear my heart pounding in my ears, my stomach drops to my feet.

"I'm still to early, like two months early...like-"

"Mel, wait. Are you-"

"Uh huh! Pregnant!" She cuts me off and I'm so thankful she has.

I have no reason to be jealous of her. Mel and Ted have been trying for longer than we have.

I also haven't told anyone that we are thinking about expanding our family. We haven't even really talked about it since we agreed to try.

If we talk about it, it'll become a reality. Not even a reality, a possibility and I'm not ready to step out of my dream world just yet.

I tell Mel congratulations and that I'm so happy for her but the truth is I want to escape.

This phone call was supposed to lure me out from my reality, not remind me of my own failures.

I miss my mother.

I miss calling her, I miss her advice, I miss crawling into her bed, curling into her lap and the warmth.

A hand, on my shoulder, so gentle the touch is barely there.

It must be morning. I must have cried myself to sleep at the kitchen table after hanging up the phone.

My glass is no longer next to me and I can't remember cleaning it up last night. Sesshoumaru is already making breakfast. I wonder if he cleaned up the glass. I wonder if he knew I drank myself to sleep last night.

He's making pancakes.

I wipe the sleep from my eyes, blinking once too many times and standing.

"You're still in your clothes from yesterday. I can bring your food upstairs if you'd like" He's worried but I don't want to talk.

All I do is nod before hiding away.


"Mel is pregnant" I tell him while he's cooking. His back is to me and I sit at the kitchen table.

"Her and Ted have been trying for a while now" not what I wanted to hear, but I don't even know what I want to hear.

"I read that the average time it takes to become pregnant is a year" I have to stop my jaw from dropping open.

"Where did you read that?" He picks up our plates, placing one in front of me.

"I took a book out from the library" How did I not notice him reading a book on parenting.

"Is there any other information I should know from that book?" I see him smirk.

"Maybe you should read it?" I stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"You should at least think about reading it." He sounds almost annoyed. Almost.

What he doesn't understand is that if I don't have any expectations, I won't be disappointed.

Although my annoyance with myself and my own body betraying me seems to be my own problem.

"What does a book on human parents and human babies have to do with us?" I don't want to read the dumb book and he can't make me.

"I think you forget, that you are human." His eyebrow raises slightly.

"I am a washed up priestess who can purify demons and seal them away." I retort, trying to sound mocking.

"I'm quaking" Is all he answers.

"I can be menacing." All I see is a twitch of his eyebrow.


I dream. I dream of a child that isn't mine and a demon I cannot find.

I buried him in the earth and left him there to do whatever a demon does when they're sealed away for eternity.

When the sun hits my face, it feels like fire burning my skin. Opening my eyes I find that they have been sealed shut with wet tears. It takes me a moment to pry them open and look around.

Same too. Same bed and a demon sound asleep next to me.

Reaching out a hand, I touch his shoulder, trying to rouse him, attempting to wake him from sleep. I pray I didn't seal him away in a sleep induced rage.

He stirs very gently, rolling into my touch, eyes still closed, hanging onto those last dreamy moments.

"I swear, in your old age you're much harder to wake." I trail my fingers down his face, watching as his lids flutter open.

"That's what you think" He says this lightly, I can see him smirking. He even lets a fang slip over his bottom lip.

I take a moment, stroking his face, holding his eyes with mine.

"What will we do if I can't have children?" His brows furrow, he's always a little more emotional in the morning, much easier to read.

"Will you just outlive me? Alone?" He blinks at me for a moment and I can see his gears turning. He reaches for me, encircling my body and burying my head into his chest.

"I'm not sure, I haven't thought about it." his voice rumbles against my ear when he answers, I know he's lying.

"Tell me the truth...and I'll read the parenting book and all the folk tales you can find." He takes a breath, weighing his answer before voicing it.

"I want you to seal me away so I can die." I pull away so I can look at him.

"What? But does sealing away a demon really kill them? Will you truly die if I seal you up?" He opens his eyes for a moment, staring at the ceiling.

"I don't know. I've never been sealed away and we don't know anyone strong enough to kill me."

"What about Maksmir?" He rolls a golden eye towards me, and I can see he is perturbed. Letting out a long breath he looks back to the ceiling.

"He could never kill me, that dumb demon? No way" He scoffs.

This is the most we've spoken in a while, I even find myself smiling.

"Well then, sealing you up is our only option!" I curl into his body and he wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my forehead.

I don't want to have to seal him away. The world deserves to know him. The world deserves to meet him.


End of Chapter Five