It was a dreary morning – rare for early May. One expected the sun to be out and the skies to be blue and yet, this particular Sunday, it seemed the sky would do nothing but rain. Marlene – free from work and Order responsibilities for the day – snuggled deeply into her bed, pulling her comforter up to her chin.
The window was cracked open, a slight breeze brushing against her exposed nose. She sunk into the pillow that her head rested on, breathing in the smell of fresh morning air. She thought, perhaps, she might have a while longer to lounge in bed and block out the world around her. Not surprisingly, this was wishful thinking.
"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," Sirius' voice roused her. She could hear him walking into the room with careful steps, his footsteps creaking on the floorboards. Marlene had her back to the door and groaned loudly, making her displeasure at being woken up clear.
"Ten more minutes," she pleaded, eyes still tightly shut.
"Ten more minutes and your breakfast will be cold."
She looked up at that, finding Sirius with a breakfast tray in his hands and a grin on his face.
"Happy birthday," he said as Marlene sat up in bed so that the tray could be placed over her lap. Fresh fruit, fluffy blueberry pancakes, and a steaming cup of tea were laid out before her. Marlene knew well Sirius was no expert chef; she wondered how much planning had gone into the meal to make sure she didn't die of food poisoning.
"Thank you," she smiled, leaning forward for a kiss. "I hope this is all you've got planned for today because I have no intention of leaving this bed."
"Well, I can't speak for the rest of your friends," he shrugged, sitting down on his side of the bed.
"Two of whom are very pregnant?" Marlene reminded him. "I think this year will be a quiet celebration."
"Whatever you say," he shrugged, still smirking cheekily. Marlene knew that look well; she'd seen it many times before — whenever the Marauders had a prank up their sleeves or Sirius had approached her in the halls when she was alone for a secret "meeting" in the broom closet.
"How does it feel to no longer be a teenager?" he asked her as she dug into her food.
"I feel like I've aged a thousand years." Marlene was sure that had more to do with the state of the world around her rather than her birthday. Her friends were expanding their families, her society was crumbling from the strains of war, and her loved ones were being knocked out one by one. It felt like years since she'd been a kid.
"Well, you still look young to me."
Marlene rolled her eyes, struggling to suppress the grin on her face. He still knew how to make her blushing.
"James has planned a huge party, hasn't he?" Marlene finally asked. She knew he had. It was out of James Potter's character not to take advantage of an opportunity to party.
"I'm not saying anything!"
"Is he throwing it at their place? Lily is going to be exhausted—"
"I don't know where you're getting this party idea from."
"Besides, I don't think anyone is really in a celebratory mood. With Remus still mourning Leila and Alice and Lily worrying about their impending change…"
"Excuse me birthday girl, do you think you can stop worrying about everyone else for a second and enjoy your day?"
Marlene went quiet after that, smiling guiltily. She did have a tendency to lose herself a little. It was difficult not to worry when everyone around her was in such states of turmoil.
"Today's about you," Sirius reminded her.
"So then," Marlene said, placing aside her tray. "How do you plan on spoiling me today?"
Sirius smirked leaning forward to kiss her. His lips travelled from her mouth along her jaw, down her neck. Marlene's breathing grew heavy as she felt his touch grow lower and lower.
"Like this," he would whisper between kisses. "And this."
His fingers travelled inside of her, Marlene's stomach swelling with pleasure. His lips hovered inches above hers, teasing as her breathing grew more and more rapid.
"That's not very nice," she told him, struggling to speak as everything inside of her tingled and tensed. He watched her closely, every sharp inhale and gasp of joy.
"I want you inside of me," she told him, gripping at his shirt. He wouldn't stop though. His movements grew faster and his teeth pulled delicately at her lips. He didn't stop until she screamed out, the place between her legs wet as he finally entered her, Marlene feeling faint. She could not imagine a better way to spend her first day as an adult.
Remus unlocked the door to his apartment, knowing certainly he was in for an earful from Dorcas. He had slipped out early in the morning, when she was still asleep, to pursue a lead into Leila's murder. He'd attended a bar that was known to host many Death Eaters during the early hours of the morning. Remus had thought himself well disguised but, a few hours in had been noticed. He returned home now with a bloody face and a broken ego.
Dorcas was in the kitchen. He could hear her humming softly as she puttered around, preparing breakfast. He stumbled in; eyes planted guiltily on the floor and caught her by surprise
"Don't be mad…"
"Merlin!" she cried out in horror, turning around to face him.
"I was following a lead," he explained to her. "I left early this morning…" Dorcas stared at him, mouth agape, her eyes filled with horror.
"Let me clean you up."
"No…" Remus tried to protest, feeling guilty enough as it was. "I'll just take a shower and—"
"Don't be such a bloody martyr," she snapped at him, striding towards the bathroom. She was mad. No, beyond mad — furious. Remus could see it in her eyes and feel it in the roughness of her touch. It seemed, more often than not these days, Remus was disappointing and upsetting the person he cared most about in the world.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, once his face had been cleaned up and bandaged. Dorcas washed the grime from her hands, not bothering to look at Remus. "Say something," he begged her, "please."
"Don't push me," she warned him. "Not today."
Without another look Dorcas left the bathroom as swiftly as she'd entered, returning to the meal she'd been preparing in the kitchen. She banged around in there, slamming cupboard doors and shoving things into drawers with great intensity. It would not be an easy morning in their household.
Remus followed her, watching as she aggressively scrapped butter onto her toast. "I didn't think…" he began.
"Oh, that's for certain," she laughed bitterly. "You haven't thought much lately."
"Dorcas—"
"No!" she cried out, slamming her hands on the counter so intensely her knife bounced. "I am sick and tired of this, Remus. I'm tired of you moping around this house, throwing yourself into the eye of danger just for some kind of redemption!"
"Redemption?" he exclaimed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"This hasn't a bloody thing to do with Leila's death!" Dorcas hollered; her eyes filled with fury as she turned on him. "This is about you, you and your guilt."
"My guilt?" he scoffed. The time for a calm resolution had passed. Remus and Dorcas had bickered before, as any couple did, but such a fight between them was rare. In fact, Remus did not think he'd ever seen his girlfriend so angry.
"Oh please," she rolled her eyes. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. It's my fault right, my fault that you didn't treat her better? If I had never come into the picture Leila McAllister would still be alive! She would have never been in that house!"
"I've never said that!" Remus told her, his defences up.
"As if you had to! You don't even touch me anymore. You leave in the morning and fall asleep at night before I can get one word in. I might as well have been the one to slide the knife through her belly!"
Dorcas' brown eyes glistened with tears, her breathing ragged as she stared Remus in the eye. The anger he'd felt in the heat of the argument had passed, and now it was simply remorse. Remorse for the pain he had caused her, and the guilt, which had never been hers to carry.
"Doe…"
"Don't!" she cried, tears running down her cheeks. "Don't try and pretend it isn't true."
"It isn't true," he promised her. All he wanted was to wrap his arms around her and whisper in her ear how sorry he was. He wanted to erase all the pain and loss that had transpired between them. Sadly, it was there, and Remus wasn't sure if it would ever leave again. "I don't blame you, Dorcas…"
"Stop it then," she pleaded with him. "Stop this witch hunt."
"I can't…"
"You can!"
"She's dead, Dorcas!" he bellowed. "Someone ran a knife through her and watched her die and for what? She was no one! Just a Muggleborn girl and now she's dead. How can I just let that rest?"
"How can we ever be the same if you don't?"
Her words sent a shiver down his spine. She was right. Where were they supposed to go from here? Remus couldn't turn his back on Leila, not again, but he couldn't lose Dorcas either. She was all that kept him going each morning.
"I love you," Remus proclaimed. "I choose you, Dorcas, I would no matter what." Slowly, he stepped forward; her head turned away, and took her elbow, drawing her in towards him. "I need you." He pressed his face to hers. "Please trust in that."
"Are you happy, Remus?" she asked, her eyes still filled with tears as she turned back to face him.
"As long as I have you."
She pressed her forehead to his, breathing in deeply as Remus wrapped his arms around her waist. He loved her. No matter how distant or lost he was, Remus found that Dorcas was his anchor. She had changed his life, offered him the happiness he had not imagined he'd ever be worthy of.
"If you're not going to stop then at least let me help you," she offered as they pulled apart. "I'll feel better."
"I don't want to drag you down with me, Doe…"
"Well too late," she told him sternly. "You don't have a choice."
No, perhaps he never had.
It was a Sunday afternoon and the ministry was eerily quiet. There were still workers who moved through the building – attending to business that couldn't wait till the weekday – but the normal bustle of the place was gone.
Emmeline had shown up at the building to use the training room in the Auror department. She enjoyed using it on the weekend when it was empty and void of any eyes to watch her with judgment as she struggled through her workout. She rammed her fists into punching bags, ran for miles around the track, and practised her stunning spells.
By the time she had showered, cleaned up and changed back into her civilian clothes Emmeline was certain she would not need to train again for months. The office was empty. She found it odd that everyone should have the day off except for Alastor Moody, the head of the department still crouched over his desk. It seemed all but one had been given the day to do as they wished.
"Everything alright, sir?" Emmeline asked, giving his slightly ajar door a tap. Moody raised his head, squinting at her for a moment before realising who it was.
"It's quiet," he muttered, his tone forewarning. "Too quiet…"
"Maybe it's a sign that we're beating them back?" Emmeline suggested, hopeful as she stepped into his office. She could only pray that their efforts over the past few years had meant something; that they were beating the Death Eaters, weakening their forces.
"If they were feeling weak they'd be getting louder," Moody told her. "They'd be trying to prove something."
Emmeline's stomach knotted anxiously as she dropped into the chair before his desk. She hadn't planned on staying but the look upon the Auror's face told her that he knew something she didn't, perhaps something none of her friends were privy to.
"They know something…" Moody mumbled to himself. "It's the only reason. They're planning to strike…"
"Then we need to be ready."
"Are you busy now?" Moody asked, his dark eyes rising to look at her.
"No." Emmeline had been hoping to return home from her workout for a quiet afternoon before the celebrations for Marlene's birthday. Moody sighed heavily, hands clasped on top of his desk.
"I want you to go with Shacklebolt, follow Travers. He goes each Sunday to Podric Batworthy's barber shop in Knockturn Alley. Be careful but listen closely, keep an eye on his movements. Take note of each person he talks to and everywhere he goes."
Emmeline's head was spinning as she tried to process her anointed task. "How long do we have?"
"He should be there at one, which gives you just thirty minutes." Emmeline nearly went flying from her chair.
"I'll call for Shacklebolt, you prepare."
And like that, she was called to duty.
Lily could not seem to get comfortable. At six months pregnant it seemed nothing she owned fit and her swelling belly was plain for anyone to see. James had promised that Marlene's birthday party would require no effort from her but, as the party time waned closer, she could see that the men around her had little idea what they were doing.
"You lot are going to make her show up and put up all of her own decorations," Lily huffed. She used her wand to line the streamers along the living room, James and Peter blowing up balloons to cover the floor.
"How're you feeling?" James seemed to ask every five minutes.
"Sweetheart, I'm pregnant, not terminally ill."
It seemed the farther along Lily got in her pregnancy the more James irritated her. Her feet ached and her back hurt by the end of each day and there was little her husband could do to ease her pain. After doing her part Lily sat on the couch and watched as the three Marauders – sans Sirius, who was keeping the birthday girl distracted – busied themselves getting the house ready.
"When is the baby due, Lil?" Peter asked, bringing bowls of chips out to place on the table James had arranged in the living room.
"My Healer told me mid-August," she informed him. "With my luck, they'll never be born."
She ran her hands along her bump, the baby stirring in her belly. She was always shocked when she felt their small kicks and the feeling of them moving around. It reminded her what all the pain and discomfort was for – the growing of a human being.
"Any names yet?" Remus asked, smirking.
"Well…" Lily stared down at her bump. "We've settled on the girl's name!"
"Do share."
She eyed her husband across the room, both smiling as Lily spoke. "Elizabeth Potter." Everyone seemed to lighten up whenever they heard the regal sounding name. Once Lily and James had settled on their choice she had felt the same.
"Any meaning behind it?" Remus inquired.
"It's Marlene's middle name," Lily announced proudly.
"Nothing for a boy yet, though?"
"That is still up in the air. Lily's convinced it's an Elizabeth," James said with a hint of disagreement.
"Mother's intuition!"
Before any further argument could ensue the front door was knocked on and then thrown open, the Prewett twins stumbling in with arms full of alcohol.
"We've brought the goods!" Gideon assured the group. Lily began to rise from the couch to help but James motioned for her to remain, the men in the room doing the heavy lifting as the pregnant woman watched.
"We picked up a special bottle just for you and Alice," Fabian assured Lily, showing her the bottle of sparkling cider they had purchased.
"Very thoughtful of you."
With the extra hands downstairs, Lily let the boys busy themselves setting up the party while she retreated to the bedroom to nap before all the guests arrived. She'd happily agreed when James had suggested the party a month ago but now, six months along, Lily found the whole ordeal exhausting.
She felt she'd only closed her eyes for a few minutes when she felt James' light shake drawing her from her sleep. Lily blinked, looking over at her husband sat on the bed beside her.
"Are you feeling okay?" he asked with concern.
"I'm fine," she promised him for the hundredth time. She took James' hand, pressing it to her belly as she felt the baby stir. He smiled, his eyes lighting up behind his glasses.
"Hi, baby," James whispered to her belly. "I can't wait to meet you."
"Seems like they're pretty excited to meet you too," Lily grinned, running her fingers through her husband's hair.
"Are you sure you're okay with the party?" James clarified, despite the fact that the whole place had already been set up and the guests invited.
"Stop worrying so much," she told him, caressing his cheek. "A little partying won't kill me."
"I know, I just…" His eyes dropped embarrassedly. "I don't want to stress you or the baby out."
"We are perfectly content," she promised, leaning in for a kiss. "What about you?" She asked as they parted. "Are you happy?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"I know that you've cut back on a lot for my benefit," Lily shrugged, pulling herself up into a seated position. "It's been a while since you've volunteered for a mission…"
"We said we weren't going to chase danger anymore? Not with the baby—"
"I know," Lily nodded. She found the words hypocritical herself but she couldn't stop them from holding some truth for her. "But I think…if you'd like to…you should. Not often, but when you can. With Alice and I no longer able to fight it seems foolish to pull you out as well."
"Lil…"
"Think about it," Lily told her husband, pulling him forward for another kiss.
"Come on," he urged her when they parted, "we've got a party to attend to."
Marlene stepped through the Potter's front door to shouts of "SURPRISE!" despite having long before figured out what her friends had up their sleeves.
"Wow!" she lied to the crowd, Sirius smirking behind her. "You really got me!"
Soon after that, she was showered with drinks, music was played, and laughter was shared. In truth, it was the first moment of joy she'd been able to enjoy in a while. With work, war, and the difficulties being experienced by her friends and family around her, it was hard to catch a break.
"So," James began, coming up beside Marlene as she poured a glass of champagne. "How does it feel to be twenty now? A real adult?"
She looked at her old friend as though he were an idiot. "I haven't felt like a child for a while now."
James shrugged. "I guess you're right." He looked down at the copious amounts of alcohol that crowded the table, reaching for his own glass. "Nice to pretend now and again though?"
"Yeah," Marlene nodded, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "Thanks for this."
"Please," James scoffed, as though she were ridiculous to consider thanking him. "This is nothing."
She knew it wasn't. This party was more than a simple celebration – it was a grasp on what little they had left of the past. The days when they'd been able to drink till their heads spun and end up passed out on top of one another in the morning. It was a moment to escape the reality that was quickly approaching – the two babies soon to arrive and the deaths that were certain to continue.
"Care to partake in an old vice?" Marlene asked with an arch of her eyebrow. She opened her bag wider so that James might spot the pack of Camels she was harbouring.
"Lily would kill me."
"I think she might be detained a while," Marlene said, both of their heads turning towards the red haired lady in question. Lily was sitting on the couch, her ear being chewed off by Reg, who seemed quite interested in the whole "child growing" process.
"Okay," James laughed. "Let's make a break for it while we still can."
As though they were still two teenagers, sneaking out the Potter's back door, they slid into the garden. They stayed out of sight, resting behind the oak tree in the back, two cigarettes lit between them.
"How does it feel then?" Marlene asked. "You'll be a dad in three months time."
"Terrifying," James admitted, exhaling softly into the night. "I keep waiting for my parents to show up on the doorstep and tell me I'm being an irresponsible idiot."
"For having a baby?"
"Yeah," James nodded, not quite looking Marlene in the eye. "I still feel like a child myself."
"No one's ready when it happens." Marlene could still remember her older sister shaking in terror as the birth of her child crept closer. She was certain whatever Amy felt was amplified in James. While the family had surrounded her sister, Lily and James had lost theirs. They had no guiding force, no person to tell them what to expect.
"I feel like I'm going to screw up," James explained. "I know nothing about being a dad."
"You know plenty," Marlene assured him. "Your dad was one of the best men I've ever known. Most parents would die to have Alec Potter as the example they're working off of."
James smirked. "I suppose you're right. Lily's convinced we're having a girl, has she told you?"
"Oh yeah," Marlene laughed. "Elizabeth Potter, she cried when she told me."
"I don't know anything about girls," James said, shaking his head with defeat. "I do know how boys treat them, how the hell do fathers live with that?"
"Well, if they're anything like you, they know that good men exist," Marlene said knowingly. "Besides, you had lots of experience being a protective older brother with me."
"Look at how well that went," James reminded her.
Marlene ignored his comment, taking a sip from the champagne glass she'd brought out. "You should talk to my mum," she advised him. "She'd love to give you some parenting advice."
"I smell cigarettes!" A voice chimed from across the yard. Both James and Marlene looked around the tree in horror, Sirius walking towards them with a big grin on his face.
"You ass!" Marlene cried out, smacking him hard across the chest.
"Pass me one of those."
"I thought you were quitting?" She reminded him snidely.
"Are we in any position to be judging right now?" he asked; grey eyes turned down to the half smoked cigarette in Marlene's hand. She rolled her eyes, flipping open her box for him, Sirius joining the circle.
"What're we discussing?"
"Our younger years," Marlene lied, certain James would rather not continue examining his fears about fatherhood.
"Oh my God," James said, nearing choking on the gulp he'd just taken off his drink. "Your seventeenth birthday," he said to Marlene in awe, "you made it your mission to shag Anthony…" James snapped his fingers impatiently as he tried to remember their old schoolmate's last name.
"Abott?" Marlene offered. She had a much harder time forgetting.
"Right! You got absolutely smashed that night."
"If I recall correctly, we all did," Marlene said, taking a casual drag as she waited for the big realisation James had experienced.
"You two were shagging then, weren't you?" James asked, seeming amused by the whole thing.
"Together is a bit generous," Sirius interjected.
"If you mean Sirius pretended he wasn't interested in me and yet continued to seek me out for sex then yeah, we were together," Marlene laughed.
"Hey!" Sirius cried defensively.
"Anyway, what's the point?"
"You were supposedly too drunk to leave with Anthony," James remembered. "And Sirius took you back to the tower instead, afraid you might be taken advantage of." Marlene and Sirius shared a look, snickering.
"You mean when you came to breakfast the next morning with hickeys all over your neck—"
"I was the culprit," Sirius said, as though admitting to a crime.
"I can't believe you managed to go a year and a half without me ever noticing!"
"Me either, do you know how many times you barged into Sirius' room after I'd fallen asleep in there by accident?" James gasped.
"I nearly went bald from the stress," Sirius admitted, all three of them laughing like the old friends they were. Marlene's eyes suddenly lit up, a memory dawning on her.
"You know what's even better?" She said. "Your parents knew all along. Caroline walked in on me in Sirius' bed at some point. She told Alec and then she never said another word."
"You're kidding!" James choked.
"They told me last spring, after…" Marlene's smile faded the slightest. "After the fire. When we were still fighting."
"Sounds like her," James smiled nostalgically. "She'd never pry unless you told her yourself."
Marlene tossed her cigarette to the ground and took James' hand, a warm gesture. "Good thing you're so much like her."
"Yeah, let's hope for your kid's sake you're as easy going as Care."
"I'm very easy going!" James snapped defensively, Sirius chuckling in disagreement.
"Oh yeah, look at him go. So easy."
James chased after Sirius, ready to give him a good beating for his words, and Marlene watched from afar as the two boys chased one another around the yard like brothers. She smiled to herself, choking back tears that no one would see.
"You did good," she said softly into the night. She knew, somewhere, Caroline Potter was smiling.
Alice was in no mood for a party. At seven months pregnant she was bloated, tired, and grumpy. She had never felt so uncomfortable in her own skin. So far, she had spent most of Marlene's birthday party sitting in the armchair, drinking water to help her stay cool – as her body temperature seemed to have gone through the roof in her third trimester.
Alice could feel herself beginning to doze off, the pain in her feet numbing when a hand jolted her back into reality. She'd never felt like such a grandma, falling asleep while everyone around her got roaring drunk.
"Come on," Lily urged, putting out her hands to help lift Alice from her seat. The redhead had two plates of birthday cake ready and a determined look in her green eyes. She led Alice from the living room, upstairs, slamming the bathroom door behind the two of them.
"I swear to god if one more person asks to feel the baby kick—"
"I know!" Alice exclaimed. "It's the worst! People putting their hands all over you as if it's no longer your personal space?"
Lily flicked her wand, the water starting to flow from the tap in the bathtub. The drain plugged itself and a bottle of bubble bath soap was dunked in, bubbles filling the air to Alice's delight.
"Do your feet ache?" Lily asked with a mouthful of cake. "I feel like mine will fall off."
"Not only that, anytime I get comfortable the baby decides to kick me right in the bladder!"
"Why is this supposed to be one of the most magical experiences nature offers?" Alice couldn't imagine a better anti-pregnancy ad than the two women sitting there.
"Why do women always have to do the shitty things?" Alice often forgot she had a companion in her misery. Without the Order, and Alice still working full time, it was difficult to still see Lily. Both women had fallen into their own little worlds it seemed.
"Those pity eyes everyone gives you," Lily sighed, leaning her head against the wall. "Followed by their fake congratulations."
"Sometimes I worry…" Alice ran her hands over her bump as if she could stop the baby from hearing her next words.
"That you made a mistake?" Lily suggested, clearly no stranger to the thought. "Take it from the woman who nearly had an abortion, I get the feeling." Lily stared down at her own bump, hands clasped around it. "Then…I feel them kick or I…I see them. At least, what I imagine is them. I picture myself lifting them from a crib and the smell of a newborn baby in my arms."
"Yeah," Alice smiled longingly. "It makes it a little easier, doesn't it? When you remember that…despite it all…there's a tiny person you're growing in there..."
"I've been meaning to ask, what're your names so far?"
Alice smiled knowingly, finishing off her piece of birthday cake to increase the anticipation. "Barbara for a girl and Neville for a boy," Alice noted, excitement brimming her voice. "We wanted them to be a part of it...even if they aren't here to see their grandkid."
"That's a nice thought," Lily smiled, seeming like she had drifted to a place far from the bathroom in her cottage. "I like it."
"And you? No boys names settled on yet?"
"No," Lily admitted. Her eyes dropped guiltily, as though Alice might scold her about the fact. "I don't know why I…I just feel so certain."
"You can always make Elizabeth a…" Alice thought hard to find a male equivalent, Lily watching with amusement, "Elizaben?" There was a pause before both girls broke into laughter, tears prickling at the corner of Alice's eyes.
Of course, as seemed to be the case with all good things, The women's laughter was interrupted by a knock at the door, Frank stepping inside a few seconds after.
"I was worried," he told her. "You just disappeared." Alice found it odd, the way pregnancy suddenly made her precious cargo. Frank looked out for her in a way he never had before - an almost instinctual defence appearing now that she carried his child.
"I wasn't the party," Alice shrugged.
"Your feet?" Frank knew her every symptom as though he were experiencing it himself. Alice was torn between finding it adorable and irritating.
"Everything aches," she sighed exasperatedly. Her feet, her legs, her ankles. Alice felt like she might collapse from the weight any day. Without a read, Frank reached out to help hoist Alice back onto her feet.
"Bed?" He suggested. Alice felt she only fell deeper in love with him when he made suggestions like that.
Alice turned to her companion, pulling Lily in for a quick embrace before she left.
"Let's do lunch later this week?"
"Yes," Lily agreed happily, both in desperate need for a person to relate to.
Alice was happy to leave, despite the fact that it was barely past eleven. Frank took care of her the whole way home - always making sure she was okay about apparating - until he'd managed to get her into bed and changed from her party clothes.
"I'm sorry I dragged you from the fun," Alice said, her aching feet lying in Frank's lap as he massaged them.
"You didn't drag me away from anything," he promised. "I was tired anyway, Moody's been working me hard."
"You're staying safe though?" Alice worried.
"I have two people I'm planning to come home to," he promised her. He put her legs aside delicately, sliding across the bed so that he could take Alice into his arms, a kiss shared between the two before she laid her head across his chest, Frank's hand rested comfortably on her belly. "I'm very excited to meet them."
"Soon enough," Alice told him sleepily.
Peter watched from across the room as a group of his friends shared a round of shots at precisely 11:48 pm, the time Marlene was born exactly twenty years before. He'd been offered one but declined. Peter didn't allow himself to drink more than a few glasses of champagne, afraid of losing control around his friends. He didn't know what he might say…
"What're you doing all alone over here?" Remus asked, coming out of nowhere.
"Watching the rest of our friends get foolishly drunk."
Remus laughed. "It's amusing isn't it?" Highly intoxicated, Marlene and Fabian moved into the middle of the living room, James turning up the music, and began to dance like they were back in the Room of Requirements at a school party.
"Where's Aldora?" Remus asked curiously.
"Sick," Peter lied. "She always has bad allergies at this time of year. She didn't think it'd be much fun if she showed up sneezing all over the place."
"You two are still doing well?"
"Yes," Peter enthused. "I'm happy."
The truth was, he had told Aldora the event was a small get together of close friends to avoid her trying to come along. It was easier, Peter found, to spend time with his friends without the fear Aldora was watching every move they made. Sometimes he could convince himself they were all back to normal, no secrets between them.
"And Dorcas?" Peter asked.
"She has work in the morning, didn't think alcohol would be a great mix."
The pair stood in awkward silence for a few minutes. They watched as Marlene and Fabian were joined on the dance floor by a group of others. It felt as though everyone in the room was drunk and happy except for Remus and Peter. Peter cleared his throat and, despite his better judgment, dared to ask the question that scared him most.
"How're you doing?" He knew the answer of course. Aldora had told Peter about Remus' brawl and he knew well of his friend's witch-hunt to uncover Leila's killer.
"I wish I knew how to answer that one," his friend said with a rueful laugh. "I can't sleep, I can't eat…"
Peter bit his lip anxiously, watching as Remus' face darkened. He knew what his friend was being driven mad over – what had happened to Leila and who had done it? How had she spent her final moments? Had she been afraid? Had she known her assailant? If only Remus knew that Peter held the answers…
"I'm sorry," Peter mumbled, gulping back his guilt.
"It's not your fault Pete," Remus assured his friend. "You're kind for asking though."
"You know that I'm here Remus," Peter said, his hypocrisy sickening even to him. "Whatever you need…"
"You're a true friend Peter," Remus smiled, patting his friend on the back. "I appreciate you, we all do, even when we forget to say it." Remus stared into his glasses, finding the contents apparently lacking. "I need a refill," he smiled, slinking off towards the drinks table.
Peter was left behind in a grave of his own making. He placed aside his glass, looked around the room to ensure no one was paying attention to him, and slipped from the party silently. He found it difficult to breath as his short legs scurried down the street.
Remus had always been his friend. He'd taken Peter under his wing when no one else had wanted to, he'd advocated for him. If anyone deserved Peter's loyalty it was Remus and yet, he was the one Peter had betrayed in the worst way. Henry's death could not be directly pinned on Peter, he hadn't fully understood what was coming Donovan's way, but this? He'd run the knife through Leila's chest and watched her die. Worse than that? He hadn't felt bad about it.
No, the guilt had only come to surface when he'd seen the pain in Remus' eyes and sensed the vengeance his friend was overcome with. Tears came to Peter's beady eyes as he dropped down to the kerb, head in his hands. He sobbed so hard he thought his chest might burst. Who had he become? Someone who betrayed his friends, who lied, who killed.
He hadn't seen his family in months, too afraid to face them now. What would he tell his little brother? How would he ever face his kind-hearted mother again? He was a monster. There was no redemption for monsters. No, his fate had been decided. Peter would live out the rest of his life a traitor or die. His only hope now was Aldora.
Were his friends to win the war his treachery would eventually come to light and he would be crucified for it. Now his survival depended on the success of Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Were they to succeed he would be considered a hero for his work on their behalf and perhaps he and Aldora could finally be happy, living together without the stress of war. Maybe they could marry, start a family. They could get away from the politics of it all and live in the country. Peter had always wanted to live in the country…
He got to his feet, wiped away his tears, and began his walk once more, straight-backed and tall. His bed had been made, it was now time he lay in it.
"Come on drunkey," Sirius laughed, guiding Marlene down the street, away from the Potter's cottage. It was past one, the pair only leaving the party after hours of drinks and dancing. Sirius was intoxicated himself but it seemed he had been surpassed by Marlene, who struggled to keep her feet moving in a steady pattern.
"I'm not that drunk!" She lied. "Really!"
"Really?" Sirius teased her, arm around her waist. "Walk in a straight line."
"It isn't my fault I was born with a poor centre of gravity," Marlene pouted. He pulled her in tight and the pair apparated away, landing with a thud in front of Sirius' place. Marlene looked around curiously, arching an eyebrow.
"Am I staying over then?" She asked him.
"Yes."
He knew why she made a point about it. They spent most nights with one another, alternating apartments. It was silly, really, that they didn't just take the plunge and move in together. Sirius had suggested it before but Marlene had simply waved the suggestion aside, not taking him at his word. He wasn't sure himself if he'd been a completely serious offer. Moving in together made it all feel very real.
"Did you have a good birthday?" Sirius asked once they were inside. He got Marlene into the bedroom and tossed her a t-shirt, which she changed into with a bit of difficulty.
"The best birthday," she smiled thankfully. Sirius busied himself getting changed for bed, paying little attention to the silence that had suddenly come over Marlene. He turned around to see her forehead creased in thought, her gaze far away.
"What?" he asked.
"Do you want to get married?" Marlene asked suddenly, catching Sirius completely off guard. "One day I mean, in the future."
Sirius shrugged. "I never thought much about it. I never really imagined I'd have a family. Didn't seem in my cards after the upbringing I received."
"But do you want one?"
Sirius sighed, taking the time to think now. The truth was, he'd never given the whole thing much thought. It had seemed settling down was far in the future – although his friends had proved him wrong on that account. With James and Lily married, a baby on the way, the idea of following in their footsteps felt less crazy than it had only a year before.
"I don't know what I want," Sirius admitted, sitting down beside Marlene. She had her knees pulled into her chest, her chin rested on top. She stared at him with her big blue eyes. Her gaze was warm, somewhat comforting to Sirius, as she appeared to study his face.
"You never have," she observed.
He felt a sickening guilt about it. Here they were, twenty years old, and Sirius was still jerking Marlene around, struggling to understand what it was he needed deep down. He looked over at her, her smile tired, and he knew only one thing for certain. She was the one thing in his life that he couldn't bear to lose.
"I want you," he told her, his voice soft but certain.
"What if I got pregnant?" she tested him with a hint of fear in her voice. "Would you be able to deal with that?"
"Yes," Sirius nodded. Whether he felt he could or not – he would. He wouldn't be his father. He'd make it right this time. He would fix the mistakes his parents had made.
"What if I decided I wanted to marry you?"
"I could do that."
Sirius' easy compliance didn't seem to bring much comfort to Marlene. In fact, she looked more concerned than she had before.
"But you don't want those things with me?" she clarified. He could see that his answer, no matter what it was, was important to her. Was she right? Did he want any of those things? Did he need them? Could Sirius ever be more than he was – a faithful companion, someone there at the end of the night to hold her tight in comfort?
"Is that what you want?" he asked her. "Marriage? Kids?"
"Not by nature," she told him. "But I…" she stopped herself short, as though afraid of what she might say next. Sirius leant forward, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear so that she couldn't hide behind it.
"I spent a long time avoiding attachment," Sirius told her. "You didn't give me much of a choice, I didn't have a chance from the moment we met. I spent a long time pretended that wasn't true and I think you did too. The last time you asked me a question about what I wanted – the kind of question that scared the shit out of me – I chose the easy route. Not the one that was the truest to me."
"I don't understand…"
"One day, when this war is over, I think we should…talk about it…"
"Kids?"
"Yes, kids. I'm not against having kids, not if it's with you."
"They'd be very beautiful kids," Marlene smiled, draping her legs over Sirius' lap. "Your hair, my eyes."
"And what about when kids at school ask about their last name? When we force them to carry the same burden I did…"
"You're not one of them," Marlene promised him, hand caressing Sirius' cheek with care. "You've given the Black name a whole new meaning. You've shown that it can be worn with courage and selflessness. Those are the qualities they'd be reminded of."
"You'd be a great mum," Sirius told her.
"You'll be a fantastic dad," she replied. The wording caught Sirius off guard. The certainty of it, the ease and confidence with which Marlene was able to say it. As if she knew, without a doubt, that he was nothing like his parents. He feared so much that one day she might wake up to find that he was too dark, too damaged, to stay with. Marlene had come with her own set of surprises.
"Marlene I…" He didn't get a chance to say it before she'd kissed him hard, with all her might.
Once the house had been cleaned and the guests had gone home James retired to his bedroom. He discovered Lily upstairs, fast asleep, a baby book still opened, rested against her bump. He smiled at the sight, creeping forward to place a delicate kiss on top of her forehead.
"I'm not sleeping," she mumbled, the way only a sleeping person could.
"I believe you," James laughed, turning to his closet to get ready for bed. Lily sat up in bed, placing the book aside as she yawned widely.
"Did you have fun?"
"I did. More than you it appears?" He replied, watching her over his shoulder.
"Baby doesn't like to party it appears," Lily teased, running her hands over her growing bump. "Marlene seemed happy though. Her and Sirius…"
"Seem like a real couple," James filled in, walking back towards the bed to cuddle underneath the blankets with his wife. Despite it being early May there was still a chill in the air – one James didn't quite mind when it meant he got to stay close to his wife and child at night.
"I never thought they'd get there," Lily admitted. James lay down, resting his head just above her belly. She ran her fingers through his hair and her hand along his shoulder as they spoke. "I guess there have been lots of surprises this past year…"
"The surprises started for me that first time you kissed me in seventh year," James admitted to her, speaking more freely with the boost of alcohol. "Seems it has been a nonstop ride since then."
"Oh please," Lily scoffed. "You couldn't have been that surprised."
"Are you kidding me? I thought I'd dreamt the whole thing!"
James raised his head to see Lily staring down at him as though he were a complete idiot. "Summer before sixth year, that party—"
"What party?" James demanded, growing defensive.
"The one you guys all threw at Marlene's place, beginning of the summer—"
"Ohh," James remembered, eyes lighting up. "You barely talked to me that night."
"You're wrong," Lily shook her head. "You were just too drunk to remember I suppose. We ended up alone in the back garden together; you apologised for being such an ass all year and I apologised for insulting you. We shared a cigarette—"
"No way," James said in denial. "You never smoked."
"Not like you but…" Lily paused, smiling nostalgically. "It was the week before my dad died." Lily looked down at him once more, tangling her fingers in his hair. "Things got too messy after that for me to think too much about it. I didn't see you the rest of the summer."
"But Fabian…"
"Well, that blossomed afterwards. Once we were back in school and you were up to your usual antics it was easy to pretend I hated you. I didn't though, not really."
"Could've fooled me," James scoffed. He shifted his weight, leaning in to kiss her sweetly.
"Thank you," Lily whispered as they pulled apart, her hands still holding his face with care.
"For what?"
"Loving me," she said with a smile. "For being the man that you are. For all of this."
"Well, I had the easy job," James assured her, leaning in for another kiss. "Loving you has never been very hard." He rested his hand on top of her bump, feeling the baby stir within her. "You're the one who has changed my life. You've made me so happy Lily."
He moved down, his lips hovering over her belly now. "And you," he whispered, making Lily smile above him. "You have made me very happy too." He pressed his lips to her stomach and rose with a smile.
"Did you think any more about what I said earlier?" Lily asked, pulling James back up to her so they could speak face to face.
"Yes," he nodded. "I think you're right. I should stay active, possibly less so than before but..we need more people involved in the effort."
"I knew you'd say so," she grinned proudly. "You wouldn't be my husband if you didn't."
"You wouldn't be my wife if you hadn't suggested it," he countered. James kissed her cheek before they both lay down for the night, Lily rested in his arms. He wondered, as they lay there falling asleep, how many more nights they'd share like this. How often would they lie, after a long day, in one another's arms? How many nights would they share in this cottage? How many more children would James feel stir within his wife's belly?
He smiled hopefully as sleep took its hold on him. He hoped many more.
"Mary," Reg said urgently, shaking his girlfriend awake. "Mary."
"Too early," she groaned, trying to roll away. "One more hour—"
"Get up now!" Reg insisted, already climbing out of bed himself. "It's Emmeline, Patrick just came in to wake us—" before Reg could get out another word in Mary had jolted up, leaping onto her feet. She grabbed her robe from the back of the door and went sprinting from the bedroom.
Kingsley was just getting up the stairs, reaching the landing as Mary met him. A body, which appeared practically lifeless, dangled in his arms.
"Help her," Kingsley begged. Emmeline's eyes were still open, her breathing ragged. She looked panicked, as though she wanted to speak but couldn't find the strength.
"Into the guest room," Mary insisted, guiding the way to her usual patient quarters. She flung open the closet, pulling out all of her potions and tools as Kingsley laid the patient on the bed.
"What happened?" Mary demanded. She hurried to get supplies ready.
"They just…cornered us…out of nowhere. We would've apparated away but…they got us too quick…"
"What happened Kingsley?"
Kingsley moved forward gingerly, removing the jacket that had been covering Emmeline's middle to reveal a t-shirt soaked in blood.
"I don't know what they hit her with…" he confessed, Emmeline, shaking on the bed. Her violet eyes rose to find Mary and in that moment she knew her friend was terrified that she was about to die.
