Lily felt as though she had aged a thousand years. She stood in Mary McDonald's living room, hands running over her protruding belly, as they waited anxiously for news of Emmeline. Reg had sent word early in the morning that she had been injured while out on Order business – explaining her absence at Marlene's party. As was custom, the whole team had rushed to Mary's to see how the patient was doing but there had been no word.

"Lily, please sit," Marlene begged, patting the spot on the couch beside her.

"I'm fine—"

"Sit," James advised his wife. He was leaning against the mantle, biting his fingernails anxiously. He barely looked in her direction as he gave Lily the order, who glared back stubbornly.

"I'm pregnant, not dying, I'll stand if I like to."

No one in the room was talking, few had shown up yet. Marlene and Sirius were sitting together on the couch, Remus and Dorcas in the arm chairs. Kingsley was upstairs sleeping – as he'd stayed up all night with Emmeline – and Mary was still with her patient.

"I'll make some tea," Lily offered, needing desperately to busy herself. She couldn't help but feel useless the further she got into her pregnancy. To everyone around her, she was a walking time bomb, an extra burden for them to worry about. James had not looked at her properly all morning. Instead, he barked orders in her direction. "Don't worry too much," or "You should be resting." Lily had grown tired of everyone telling her what she needed.

She wandered into the kitchen, Patrick – Mary's younger brother – eating a bowl of cereal at the kitchen table. He was flipping through a comic book, unnoticed by the anxious inhabitants of his home.

"Morning," Lily greeted him, making her way towards the kettle.

"Hiya."

"You have school I suppose?"

"Yeah," Patrick shrugged.

Lily looked towards the clock above the stove, already quarter past eight.

"You'll have to be off soon, won't you?"

"I probably won't make it. Mary usually drives me, but…" Patrick's eyes wandered up, indicating the scene taking place above them, "she's a little busy." Lily frowned, studying the tired face of the fifteen-year-old boy before her. She remembered that age when you were old enough to understand the terrible things that happened in the world each day but not old enough to try and fix them.

"Well there's no point in you being stuck here all day," Lily said certainly. "I'll drive you."

Patrick looked shocked by the suggestion. "Wizards don't drive?"

"Well, good thing I had a traditional Muggle upbringing," Lily smirked - she'd never been so proud of her Muggle background. "My dad taught me how when I was just about your age."

"You don't have to," Patrick insisted politely, "really, I'm fine just—"

"Rubbish. Grab your things."

Lily couldn't do much in her condition but this she could manage. If everything had to crumble around her at least she could provide her friend with the comfort of knowing her little brother was away from all the worry and heartbreak. Patrick went off to grab his things and Lily reentered the living room, which was filled with solemn faces and tense energy.

"I'm going to take Patrick to school," she told the room. "He needs to be driven—"

"Lily," James began in a warning tone, getting ready to tell her why it was a bad idea. "You haven't driven a car in years—"

"I'm not made of glass, James. Besides, I like driving. I'm good at it." She was in fact, although Lily rarely had the opportunity to put her skill to the test. She could tell James was getting ready to protest but she turned to Marlene for support, her eyes pleading, and her friend jumped in supportively.

"Patrick shouldn't be stuck here all day," Marlene agreed. "Especially not when Mary will be so upset."

Lily heard the sound of footsteps and turned to see Patrick entering the room, bag slung over his shoulder.

"We're off then," Lily smiled at him, letting him lead the way out to the garage. Mary left the keys in the vehicle – clearly not too worried about theft in her suburban neighbourhood.

"Lil!" a voice cried out, James racing out of the house after her. Patrick was already settled in the passenger seat, watching curiously. "I'll come with you."

"I'm fine, James," Lily sighed, tired of feeling like she needed to be babysat.

"I'd like to," he insisted, "really—"

"No," she shook her head. "I don't want you to." James' face fell, his eyes swarming with confusion and pain. "It'll make me feel useful," she said, taking her husband's hands in her own. "I need to feel like I'm doing something."

"I know," James nodded, leaning his forehead against hers lightly. "Of course, I know."

"I'll be fine," Lily promised, pressing a kiss to her husband's cheek. "Really."

With that she left, sliding into the driver's seat. It felt nice to be in control of something, even if it was only for the fifteen-minute journey to Patrick's school. The two of them spoke sparingly throughout the journey, Lily asking questions in order to keep the conversation moving. The journey home, although alone, was much more relaxing.

Lily was only five minutes from Mary's when she got a searing cramp across her belly. It made her skin go tight and her heart race. She pulled over, panicking as she pressed a hand against her bump. Lily felt panic take over as she sat there, staying as still as possible, waiting for the pain to pass.

"Just breathe," a familiar voice coached her. "You'll be fine sweetheart, just a Braxton Hicks." Lily leant back in her seat, eyes closed, tears building up behind them.

"Oh god." She began to sob, emotions all coming to a boil. "I can't do it, I can't do it, momma, I can't." Lily had experienced a panic attack only a handful of times but this one came on swift and strong. Her skin crawled and her breathing quickened. She felt as though she might be sick at any moment as her vision zoomed in and out of focus.

It all felt too much. The fighting, the impending motherhood, simply growing up. Lily craved the Saturday mornings in her childhood bedroom, waking up to the smell of her father's pancakes, wandering downstairs to morning cartoons with her sister. Back then it had seemed anything was possible, her whole life had been laid out in front of her, but now it seemed her fate had been decided.

"You're brave," she heard a gruff voice promise from nearby. "You are strong Lily, you can do this."

"I'm going to screw it up," Lily said certainly. "I'll hurt them, or I won't love them enough. I won't be able to keep them safe—"

"Breathe, Lily," her mother whispered, voice just by her ear. "We're right here Lily, just breathe." But when Lily opened her eyes they were nowhere to be found. She was alone, pulled to the side of the road, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her parents would never be there again.

June 1975

Lily could smell pancake batter and coffee from her bedroom on the second floor. Her stomach growled as she tiptoed downstairs in search of the delicious smells that swirled throughout the house. She rounded on the kitchen only to find her mother at the counter, busying herself with a cup of tea. Lily saw her father behind her, hands on her hips, whispering something into her ear. The sight was a little too intimate for Lily's sixteen-year-old eyes.

"Please stop," she begged as she stepped into the room, masking her eyes. "A child is in your presence."

"Aw, come on Lil," her father teased, "us old folk deserve some fun as well."

"Preferably when I'm not in the room," she suggested, both of her parents laughing. The pancakes, which had dragged her from her slumber, were on a plate in the centre of the table, Lily eyeing them with desire. She settled into her usual seat, her mother coming over with a plate and silverware – not needing to be told what Lily wanted.

It was a gorgeous summer's day. The sun was out – not a cloud to be found in the sky – and it seemed everything outside was in full bloom. Petunia was away for the weekend, staying in London with some friends, and Lily had free reign of the house. It was a blissful way to spend the beginning of her holidays.

"What's the plan for today?" her father asked, settling back into his seat across the table with a fresh cup of coffee.

"Reading." Lily shrugged. "Sunbathing, watching bad TV, enjoying this beautiful day." Lily enjoyed the freedom her summer vacation provided her with – not a responsibility in the world.

"What about helping your old man out with some gardening?" her dad suggested with a grin.

"Okay," Lily shrugged agreeably. She was willing to agree to just about anything on such a beautiful day. Her mother, who was starting up on the dishes in the sink, looked over her shoulder to smile at the pair.

"What's Severus up to these days?" she asked innocently. "We never see him around anymore. Perhaps he'd like to come by?" A thoughtful suggestion – considering her parents knew how nice it was for Lily to have friends from school over when Petunia was away – but Lily had little interest in discussing Severus.

She pretended to be hit, quite suddenly, by an awful coughing fit — putting off the announcement she had dreaded giving her parents since coming home. "Yes well," she cleared her throat awkwardly, "we're not really friends anymore."

"Not friends anymore?" her father repeated in shock. "Why?"

"It's a long story, Dad."

"Well, start telling it then," her father insisted – not letting her get off so easily. Lily stirred around a piece of pancake in the syrup she had poured quite generously onto her plate. She knew both of her parents were waiting keenly to hear what could draw Lily and her best friend apart.

"There was an incident before the end of school and Severus wasn't very nice to me. We just…don't get along anymore." The memory of that afternoon down by the lake still left a bitter taste in Lily's mouth, she felt embarrassed to even recount it to her parents.

"What happened?" her father inquired, his face etched with concern.

"It's complicated," Lily answered simply.

"But Lily, Sev is your best friend—"

"Well he's not anymore," she snapped, growing irritated with the conversation. "Besides, you two wouldn't get it."

"Wouldn't get it?" her father repeated, growing defensive. "We might live in very different worlds but we're still your parents, young lady."

"Richard," her mother said warningly, giving her father a rather particular look. "Leave it."

"What happened with Severus?" her father repeated, ignoring the warning. The harder her father prodded the more frustrated Lily became. The incident had been difficult enough to endure, she had little interest rehashing it. "What did he do that was so terrible you can't forgive him?"

"He called me a mud-blood!" Lily spit out, giving up. Her parents both stared at her, blank faced, ignorant as to the meaning of the word. "It means dirty blood, okay? It's a term used to undermine Muggleborn wizards."

"Severus said that to you?" her mother asked from the sink, mouth hanging open in shock.

"Yes, and I'm sure he's said it to many others. His friends are bullies and so is he. So can we just drop it?"

Neither one of her parents seemed to know what to say and a part of Lily relished in it. She was glad they felt bad about pushing her when she'd tried so hard to avoid the truth.

"I'm sorry Lily," her father spoke up, clearing his throat. "That's terrible. You're just as valuable as anyone else at that school."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Lily mumbled. "Can we talk about something else now? I don't want to get into it."

"How is Marlene?" her mother asked, changing the subject like a pro. "We haven't seen her all summer either!"

"Oh, Marlene's always on the go. Who knows what she's been up to so far."

"She's the one who's friends with that boy isn't she?" Her father smirked. He always got a funny look on his face when James Potter was mentioned – perhaps due to the irritation it caused Lily.

"Yes," she rolled her eyes. "She is."

"When do we get to meet this famous Potter guy?" he continued. "I'm intrigued to know who it is that manages to get under my daughter's skin so well."

"Oh trust me," Lily scoffed, taking another bite of her breakfast, "James Potter is never setting foot in this house."


Remus was beginning to doze off, head rested on Dorcas' shoulder when the front door swung open – no knock to announce the presence of a visitor – and the Prewett twins came flying in.

"Where is she?" Gideon demanded as he rushed into the living room. Everyone's heads perked up, no one quite sure what to say.

"She's still with Mary," Dorcas announced. "We haven't been able to see her yet—"

"I'm going up there."

"Let's just give it a minute, mate." Fabian blocked his brother, James and Sirius getting up as well to help hold the young man back. Remus could imagine his worry. He didn't like to think about Dorcas getting hurt, but even worse was the idea that something terrible might happen to her while their relationship was hanging by a thread. Gideon and Emmeline had broken up but that didn't mean the love between them was lost.

Now that it was growing closer to noon more of the team had arrived. The Longbottoms, Auror members, Peter. Everyone wore long faces as they waited patiently to find out whether their friend would live or die. Remus himself had never been particularly close to Emmeline but he'd known her, grown up beside her, and she was good. She was one of the most selfless people he knew. How could someone like that be taken so suddenly?

Lily, who had taken Patrick to school, had been gone for at least an hour and Remus could tell James – despite trying to appear calm – was beginning to freak out. The war had left them all anxious wrecks, making it difficult to be parted from loved ones for more than a few minutes.

It was, therefore, a relief when the front door opened once more and a red-haired, very pregnant, woman stepped inside. Lily dropped the keys to Mary's car on the side table by the door and entered the room, staring around at all the solemn faces.

"No word yet?" she concluded, James leaping from his chair to greet her.

"Nothing."

James wrapped his arms around her as though they'd been parted for years, the pair sharing a look. To Remus, it was a simple glance but between them, it seemed to say a thousand words. James stroked Lily's hair affectionately and tugged her aside, guiding her away into the kitchen.

"Screw this," Gideon snapped, turning for the stairs. No one could stop him before he'd gone flying up – Remus and Dorcas close enough to jump from their seats and chase him.

"Gideon," Reg warned, blocking the door into the guest room. "Gideon, it's not a good idea—"

Before Reg could get out another word he'd been shoved aside, toppling to the floor. Dorcas rushed to his side, helping to get him up once more, as the door flung open and Gideon stepped inside.

Remus saw it, the table of bloody cloth, the pale and shaking patient that lay helpless in bed. Emmeline was shaking, mumbling insanities, as Mary performed spells and tried her best to clot the bleeding that continued. Remus felt queasy just looking at it. How had such a thing happened? Without anyone knowing, Emmeline had possibly gone on the last mission of her life.

Dorcas joined him, watching over Remus' shoulder. She inhaled sharply, taking his hand for support. He heard a sharp inhale from behind him and turned to see Dorcas' eyes swarming with tears – a rare sight.

"Damn it," she cursed, turning away from the whole scene. She scurried down the hall, Remus chasing after her. The two turned into an empty bedroom – one that turned out to be Patrick's. The walls were plastered with band posters and drawings. The floor was scattered with dirty clothes.

"Doe…" Remus cooed. She was crying, her back turned to him.

"I swear to god," she sobbed, "I can't watch another person die right before my eyes."

"You won't have to," Remus promised – a promise he knew he could never keep. "She's going to be okay Dorcas—"

"We can't protect anyone," she said hopelessly. "Not Emmeline, not Leila."

Remus stepped forward slowly, placing his hands on her shoulders to draw her in. It took a second for her to turn, burying her face in his chest, wrapping her arms around him. He couldn't save her world but this, he could do.

"What about the ones we saved?" Remus offered. It was rare for him to provide the comfort – he was so often the one falling apart – but today she needed it. After weeks of Remus throwing himself into danger in order to avenge Leila's death, he could see the toll it had truly taken on the one he loved.

"Come here," Remus urged, lifting her chin with a delicate touch. He pressed his lips to hers and inhaled her scent deeply. "She's going to make it."

"You don't know that."

"I do," Remus nodded. "I do because we're the survivors. All of us."

It was a dangerous statement but one he truly believed.

June 1975

"James Alec Potter!" a commanding voice cried through the house. Remus felt the hairs on his arm stand on end as Caroline Potter's determined footsteps grew closer.

"What'd you do this time Prongsie?" Sirius teased. He was sat on the floor, back rested against James' bed, one knee casually propped up. He rested A History of Quidditch against it, flipping through the pages idly.

"I haven't a clue…" James was saying as the bedroom door flung open. His mother waited, hands rested on her hips, for an explanation from the messy haired boy.

"Do I work for you?" Caroline snapped. She commanded the whole room, all four of the boys inside gone silent.

"Sorry?"

"Do – I – work – for – you?"

"I…don't believe so?"

"Then why is it you think you can track your muddy feet all over my kitchen floor without even trying to clean it up?"

"I thought Mimsy would—"

"Stop right there," Caroline warned him. "I want you to go downstairs and clean that up right now."

"Mum—"

"You got all dirty playing Quidditch, you deal with the consequences."

Once Caroline had exited the room James let out a heavy sigh, falling back onto his bed in defeat.

"Perk up James!" Peter suggested. "By next summer you'll be able to clean up the kitchen with the flick of your wand."

"Until then I'm as useless as a Muggle."

"Careful there, you want to marry into a Muggle family," Remus teased, earning a deadly glare from his friend.

"There will be no mention of Lily Evans this summer," James instructed, sitting up with purpose once more.

"You're just mad that she called you a—"

"Thank you, Sirius," James silenced his friend. "I don't need to be reminded of the insult used against me."

"She cut Severus off, you know," Peter spoke up, his tone optimistic.

"Severus?" Sirius repeated. "I don't know a Severus?"

"Snivellus," Peter chortled. Remus rolled his eyes at the use of the childish nickname, although he knew it was no use scolding Sirius; he would never change his ways when it came to Severus Snape.

"Well…good on her. She was too good for him anyway."

"Too good for you as well, it appears," Sirius joined in, eyes still focused on the text before him.

"Only positive vibes please," James directed his friend.

"Sorry, no filter this morning."

James stood up, pacing around the room once before his eyes lit up – the way they did whenever he had a brilliant idea. "A party," he said suddenly.

"Party?" Sirius clarified, finally paying attention.

"We should have a party, a big one, huge in fact."

"I doubt you mother is going to be very inclined with the mess you've left downstairs," Remus reminded him, always the bearer of bad news.

"Well then, we'll just have to throw it elsewhere, won't we?"

"And where exactly do you suggest?"

James got rather serious, thinking hard on the subject. Remus found it amusing, watching the change in his friend's expression as he went over his options, trying to decide what might be the most beneficial. Who knew throwing a party was such serious business?

Finally, James paused, a grin spreading from cheek to cheek.

"Out with it then," Sirius prompted him.

"Boys, we are going to be extra nice to Marlene this afternoon."

"The McKinnons'?" Remus asked. "Are her parents really going to—"

"Her parents are out of town," James explained. "Whole family is – staying at their cottage."

"We're going to break into their house?" Peter asked in shock.

"No, you idiot! Marlene stayed behind with her older sister, Amy, it's only the two of them for the weekend."

"McKinnon will never agree to it," Sirius stated surely, as though he had some special insight.

"You don't know Marlene very well then."

"I know her well enough to tell you she's a stick in the mud," Sirius shrugged.

"She's only a stick in the mud around you – perhaps if you treated her a little nicer," Remus advised his friend, "she'd be happier to see you."

"I'll bet a galleon she turns the whole thing down," Sirius boasted rather confidently.

"I'll bet two she doesn't." Remus – who didn't have two galleons to his name – was feeling rather protective of the blonde haired witch in question. While Sirius seemed to find endless complaints about Marlene he had found, as the years went on, she was one of the kindest and most generous people he knew.

"JAMES POTTER!" Caroline's voice bellowed from downstairs. "CLEAN THIS UP NOW!"

"Duty calls," James smirked mischievously. "Once that kitchen is clean we'll head to McKinnons'."

"I'll help," Remus offered, standing up as well. He'd contributed to the mess, it was the least he could do.

"Me too!" Peter agreed. It was only Sirius who remained happily seated on the floor, focused on his Quidditch book.

"I still think the house elf can do it—"

"Let's go, you arse," James instructed his friend. Sirius tossed aside his book with a sigh. "You're just mad you lost the game."

"Please, you gave me Wormtail, I hadn't a chance—"

"Hey!" Peter cried out defensively. The two boys continued to bicker the whole way down like an old married couple. Remus thought it sounded like home.


It was after lunch that Marlene, Lily, and Alice were called up to see Emmeline. Gideon was still by her side, watching her anxiously, and Mary stood at the end of the bed, a look of uncertainty on her face. Marlene had never seen her friend appear so weak. Emmeline was under a sleeping draught. Her skin was frighteningly pale and her lips nearly blue.

"It's bad," Mary, whispered as they three girls entered the room, trying to keep the news from Gideon. "If we can get her through the next twenty-four hours without any bumps…"

"If not?" Lily asked in horror.

"Then she…" Mary's voice shook, her face tightening as she forced back the emotions that threatened to spill forth. "She won't make it."

"Go to bed," Marlene suggested. "You've been up all night."

"No, I need to make sure—"

"We'll watch her, we'll take shifts," Alice suggested. "If anything happens we'll find you."

"You need to keep her temperature down," Mary instructed them. "Cold cloths and make sure that she's resting, sleeping drought down every time she seems to be waking up."

"Got it," Marlene nodded. She stared at her other two friends, both heavily pregnant and exhausted. "I'll take the first shift, we can switch every three hours, you ladies go home and rest."

"Mar—"

"I mean it! I'll take good care of her."

No one seemed willing to leave. Each girl took a moment, pausing to whisper something encouraging in Emmeline's ear or press a kiss to her forehead before taking their leave – until only Marlene and Gideon remained. He stayed in the armchair in the corner, watching her like a hawk. Marlene wondered whether he was conscious of anything in the room but Emmeline.

"Gideon," she said softly. "Let me take over—"

"I won't leave her," he snapped.

"Stay downstairs at least, be with people who love you."

"I want to be here when she wakes up…"

"She won't for awhile now," Marlene promised him. "I'll get you when she does, I swear."

It was a terrible thing to have to do – realise that you were useless. There was nothing Gideon could do to save Emmeline now. He was simply forced to get up and walk away, leaving Marlene behind to take the reigns. He was hesitant to do so, waiting a while before he rose from his seat. When he did he turned on Marlene with a desperate look.

"Please," he begged, "I love her." The statement broke her heart, perhaps because she had walked in his shoes so many times before. How often had Sirius been hurt while the two of them were fighting? Torn apart by one thing or another? It was excruciating.

Marlene took his chair, reaching her hand out for Emmeline's. It lay limp by her side, no returning squeeze when Marlene held it in her own, her palm freezing.

"We're counting on you," she whispered to her friend. "Don't you give up now."

Marlene refused to say goodbye. She had befriended Emmeline – before anyone else had realised what a wonderful girl she was – and she'd drawn her into the group. Emmeline completed them. She was light on a cloudy day, an uplifting spirit, someone who truly cared. She was kind and likeable, the kind of person anyone enjoyed being around. The kind of person Marlene was not, and would never be, ready to say goodbye to.

Minutes turned to hours as Marlene sat there, forcing herself to stay awake. She felt as though she was moving through a fog, eyes never wandering from Emmeline's sleeping form. She was determined to see her friend through the next few hours until someone came to relieve her. At some point – after some time sitting there – a quiet moan escaped Emmeline's lips and Marlene lunged forward.

"Emmy?" she whispered. She took a tight hold of Emmeline's hand, squeezing it to see if she'd get anything in response. Emmeline's fingers wrapped weakly around Marlene's hand, a reminder she was still in there.

"Am I dead?" Emmeline grumbled, under the powers of sleeping potion.

"Not quite," Marlene promised her. She kissed her friend's forehead, not letting the fear that she was overrun with show on her face. Emmeline's eyes were still closed, clenched in pain.

"Tell Mary…"

"I'm not passing along any words of goodbye," Marlene warned her friend. "You'll be able to say this all yourself when you're in good health."

"Gideon too…I'm sorry…"

"Hush," Marlene cooed, running a hand along her friend's sweat soaked hair. "You need to rest."

"Falling in love…" Emmeline mumbled deliriously. "Her…"

Marlene froze, sitting back the slightest. As Emmeline's pain soaked groans resumed she took the bottle of sleeping drought and pressed it to her lips, lulling her friend back into a drowsy state of comfort. Her…her? Marlene sat back, struggling to piece together whatever Emmeline had meant. Was she a fool to think that Emmeline and Mary had only ever been friends? Had something more transpired between the two women…a secret they had long kept between them?

The scene was a haunting reminder of something Marlene had lived through years ago when Sirius had lain in her arms professing his love. Perhaps Emmeline had just done the same, admitting to a romance that had been blossoming for years right beneath their noses. Despite her vow to stay Marlene rose from her chair, wandering downstairs to fetch herself a cup of tea.

The first floor – previously bustling with anxious guests – was quiet now. It seemed that everyone had made their way home, leaving Emmeline to heal. Marlene was just getting the kettle started when she heard the front door open and shut. She peaked beyond the corner to see Alice entering; less tired than she had been a few hours before.

"I've come to send you home for sleep," Alice announced, stepping into the kitchen. Marlene was facing the window, watching as dark grey clouds blew in from the distance. "Mar?"

Marlene spun to face her friend, her chin quivering ever so slightly. Alice's face grew warped with fear and concern, stepping forward to catch Marlene in her arms as the taller of the two girls collapsed in tears.

"What happened?" Alice panicked. "Is she dead?"

"No!" Marlene insisted, pulling away with a snuffle. "No, she…she's okay…"

"What's got you in such a state?"

"Oh Alice," Marlene sighed, stroking her friend's cheek with affection. "Look at what they've made of us." Broken, terrified, soldiers. Fit for nothing but battle. They had been ruined, their best bits torn to shreds. Would there be any life left to live once the fighting was done? Were any of them capable of it?

"What're you talking about?" How could Marlene say it out loud to Alice of all people? Alice, with a baby growing strong in her belly, a baby whose future she dreamt of daily, whose prospects were a constant reminder that things needed to get better. How could Alice understand when her reality was so far from Marlene's?

"Sorry," Marlene apologised, wiping away the rest of her tears. "I'm just talking nonsense, I should get some sleep."

She was no longer just a girl; she was a warrior. She was battle hungry and arrogant. She would run into the face of danger until it killed her.

Only death could force her to part with the rush.

June 1975

Marlene had been on board the moment she'd heard the word party leave James Potter's mouth. A few weeks out of Hogwarts and she was hungry for the social scene and excitement that had been left behind once they'd arrived in King's Cross station. Marlene's only concern had been convincing her older sister to allow the whole thing to take place, a task which had proved easier than she'd expected.

It turned out – having finished Hogwarts a year ago – Amy was just as eager to throw one last rager. The two girls – never ones to pass up an opportunity to play the host – made sure the whole place was filled with food and booze galore before the guests began to arrive.

Marlene had borrowed one of her sister's dresses to spend the night dancing around in. Together the McKinnon girls shared a few shots of Firewhiskey before the first guests arrived, The Marauders showing up at the door with even more alcohol to boost.

"Come on Marley," James insisted, pouring everyone in the room another shot. Marlene already felt light headed, her fingertips tingling, but she reached for the shot glass Sirius handed her regardless.

"Who knew McKinnon had a wild streak in her," he teased. Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Who knew Black didn't always smell like wet dog?"

Peter snorted, turning his amusement into a heavy cough once Sirius turned to him with a piercing glare.

"To Marlene, for allowing this epic party to take place," James said, raising his glass to toast.

"An Honorary Marauder," Remus added, winking in Marlene's direction. She tried to hide her blush as she clinked glasses with the rest of the boys and threw her alcohol back, letting it burn as it sloshed down the back of her throat.

By ten o'clock the first floor of the McKinnon home was brimming with students, everyone laughing and drinking, swaying along to the music that James had put on. Marlene was standing near the fireplace with Lily Evans, the two girls people watching as they whispered to one another above their cups of alcohol.

"Say something to him!" Lily urged. "I'm sure he'd be interested."

"I'm a baby to him," Marlene reminded her, confidence lacking. "He's my sister's friend—"

"And you are Amy's hot younger sister!"

Marlene wasn't so sure. It seemed that she had been watching Henry Fawley from afar for years – swooning every time he showed her the slightest bit of attention. Why would he waste any time on a child like her?

"I'll make you a deal," Lily suggested, drawing Marlene's attention back to her. "If you go talk to him, even if just for a minute, I'll have a conversation with James Potter."

Marlene's eyebrows rose in disbelief. Lily Evans and James Potter engaging in a civilised conversation? Her friend had to be drunk.

"Liar."

"Nu-uh," Lily smirked, sipping at her drink.

"Fine," Marlene agreed, stretching out her hand for Lily to shake. "Pour me another drink." Lily laughed as she tipped the bottle of sherry into Marlene's glass, watching her bravely gulp it back.

"You've got this," Lily assured Marlene, giving her a pat on the back. Henry was across the room, in conversation with one of Amy's friend's that Marlene didn't recognise. He ran his hand through his chestnut hair, grinning. The dimples in his cheeks shone through. Marlene couldn't seem to find a single flaw. Not his sharp jawline nor his easy personality. Henry seemed practically perfect.

"I better see you take a bloody cig break with Potter after this," Marlene said between her teeth. Lily gave her an encouraging push forward and she forced one foot in front of the other, her stomach twisting and turning all the while. Henry caught sight of her when she was a few feet away, turning away from his conversation with a friendly smile.

"Quite a party you and your sister have put together." His green eyes scanned the room in awe, finally landing on Marlene who fought the urge to turn around and run right back to her spot across the room.

"What've you been up to?" Marlene asked. "Now that Hogwarts is finished?"

"I've been here and there," Henry shrugged. "Worked for this past year, now I think I'll take some time to travel."

"You should take Amy along with you, she won't shut up about wanting to get out of here."

Henry laughed, running his hand through his hair so that a strand flopped down in front of his eyes. "Your sister has lots of plans, few of which include me."

Marlene's stomach sank – god she hoped this wasn't the last time she'd see him. It was the first time in nearly a year that she'd been able to talk to Henry and, now that her sister was no longer his classmate, it seemed their interactions would grow fewer. Marlene had been ogling at Henry for years and now – when she was finally old enough to be more than a child to him – he would disappear.

"Is this goodbye then?" Marlene asked, working hard to keep her tone light. "I guess the next time I see you will be when your face is in the paper for something spectacular you've done."

"If only everyone thought as highly of me as you do Marlene," Henry smiled. Marlene could feel her cheeks growing hot with a blush. Way to look like a drooling school girl, she thought bitterly. "No, I'll see you again."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I have a feeling our paths will cross."

Someone across the room called Henry's name, tugging his attention away from Marlene, whose shoulders fell with disappointment. Marlene watched as Henry hurried off to goof off with his friends once more and she was left praying to god he was right, that one day she'd be lucky enough to see him again.


"Two Muggles found dead from mysterious causes…suspected Death Eater involvement…"

Sirius was sat at his kitchen table, the radio on in front of him. He'd settled down quite comfortably with a cigarette to his lips, listening as more bad news was passed along. He didn't flinch when he heard the front door slam. He knew immediately who it was from the sound of the footsteps and the heavy sigh that she released before finding her way into the kitchen.

Sirius couldn't help but think she looked defeated – a sight of little comfort to him. Her shoulders hung low and the circles beneath her eyes seemed darker than usual. She stood across the room, staring at him, as though expecting Sirius to know exactly what she needed to hear.

"What?" he asked, eloquence failing him.

"Why don't we ever say it?"

"It?"

"You know what I mean." She had her arms crossed and a line between her forehead that meant business. It was the same worry wrinkle she got whenever something troubled her deeply. Sirius adored it. "We tiptoe around it, we avoid the words whenever they could really mean something…"

"Where is this all coming from?" Sirius could tell she was upset. She was frantic, her blue eyes gone wild, he panicked for a moment something had gone terribly wrong with Emmeline.

"Because Emmeline is in love with Mary!" Marlene blurted out, Sirius' jaw dropping. He set aside his half smoked cigarette the news was so momentous.

"What?"

"How come we never noticed, any of us? Why does it seem that we're only ever honest when we are near the brink of death or know the other person will forget what we've told them?"

"You saw Emmeline and Mary together?" Sirius asked, struggling to piece the two together.

"Sirius!" Marlene barked with irritation. "You're missing the point!"

"I thought the point was that Vance and McDonald were sneaking around?"

"No, the point is…" Marlene took a deep breath staring at him with great purpose like her next words would change everything. "The point is I love you," she finally spit out. "I'm in love with you, I have been for…a long time. We never really discussed what happened two years ago when I rescued you…"

The mood had changed drastically. No longer was Sirius goofing around, poking fun at her. No longer did the issue of Emmeline and Mary's relationship seem the most pressing thing in the room. The sound of the radio filled the silence between them and, without taking his eyes off Marlene; Sirius raised his wand hand and flicked it off, silence falling over the room.

"No," he finally agreed, "we never really did."

With cautious steps Marlene approached the table, sitting opposite Sirius. He took the moment, the rare quiet moment between them, to remind himself how much he adored her. Her rosebud lips, the slope of her nose, the freckles that dusted her cheeks. Had there been a day when he hadn't admired her? Even in the years when they had only bickered and fought, something had bubbled beneath the surface.

"Was it true?" she asked. "When you told me that it had torn you apart to see me with Henry?"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, "it was." He remembered all too well the months he'd spent in agony, forced to watch another guy do what he wanted so badly to be able to with Marlene. She had been his, even before he'd realised it himself.

"Sirius, I…" her blue eyes fell – as though ashamed of herself – and when they lifted again they glistened with tears. "I'm sorry."

"Marls…"

"I've never apologised to you for everything I put you through when I was only thinking about myself. I lied to you for months about what really happened in that field and I…I made you feel guilty for all my pain." She stretched her hands across the table for his and Sirius took them without a second thought.

"There's nothing to forgive," he promised her. "Marlene, I…" the words seemed to catch in his throat, his own body rejecting them. He could feel them as strongly as he liked but admitting to his weakness, his biggest vulnerability, it was almost impossible for him.

"I know," she smiled, not a hint of disappointment in her eyes. She understood what he wasn't brave enough to say and in that moment Sirius didn't think he had ever loved her more.

June 1975

Sirius was chatting up a voluptuous brunette girl in the McKinnon's kitchen when he saw James stride out back, hands tucked in his pockets, for a cig break. Sirius considered following his friend outside – possibly getting his blessing to take his new friend back home for the night – when he noticed Lily Evans follow James out back just a few minutes later

"Everything okay?" the girl who Sirius was speaking to – Valerie – asked.

"Great actually," Sirius grinned, his own heart soaring at the prospect of Lily and James getting some alone time. Perhaps tonight could be the night his best friend's luck turned around…

"What do you say about making it an even better night?" the girl asked with a suggestive wink. Sirius' smirk spread only wider at the suggestion. He didn't mind the idea of slinking off to an empty room in the McKinnon's house to have a quickie. He knew when he disclosed the information to Marlene she would be furious, a fact Sirius revelled in.

"I like the way you think." Sirius stared around the room, checking to see who would catch him slipping away. "I know just the spot."

He led the way, taking the girl's hand smoothly. They wandered through the crowd of people and scurried up the stairs – trying hard to ensure they weren't spotted. Away from the bustle of the party Sirius turned and pressed his lips against Valerie's. She tasted of cinnamon and alcohol, likely due to the Firewhiskey shots they'd shared.

Her mouth was warm against his own, her lips soft. She was the perfect choice of a lady for his evening – it seemed the McKinnon girls could throw a better party than Sirius had suspected.

"Bloody hell."

Sirius and Valerie came apart as quickly as they'd come together, looking over to find Marlene standing at the end of the hall, watching with disgust.

"What? Never heard of kissing?" he teased. Marlene's eyes narrowed on him with the fury she possessed whenever Sirius rubbed her the wrong way.

"I don't much fancy seeing you up here snogging some random bird – no offence – when we both know your girlfriend is right downstairs."

"What?" Valerie gasped, staring from Sirius to Marlene in disbelief.

"It's not—"

"He's a liar," Marlene promised the girl. "I've been trying to tell my friend for months that he's a cheater but she won't believe me…he lies to her too."

Sirius turned to face Valerie but before a word could escape his lips she'd smacked him hard.

"Tosser," she huffed before stomping away. Marlene waited, her chest puffed out with pride at the end of the hall.

"Prude," Sirius snapped at her, irritated with the unfortunate turn of events. Of course, Marlene had found a way to ruin his night. She waltzed towards him, a skip in her step, smirking.

"Oh please," she scoffed, eyeing him up. "You think I don't catch you looking at my tits half the time we talk?" Sirius' stomach sank and he worked hard to avert her gaze. "I bet you've thought about it haven't you? Seeing me undress in front of you? Feeling my lips on yours…"

She was testing him and he wouldn't fall for it…not that she made it easy. She moved closer to Sirius, coming up in front of him so that her lips brushed his ear. Her breath was sticky against the side of his cheek and her waist was close enough for him to draw her in towards him.

"Are you thinking about it now?" she whispered, sending a shiver up his spine. He was, not that he'd ever tell her. He could imagine the way it would feel to put the tension between them to the test, the gravity that might draw them together. With alcohol in his system, he nearly found the courage to reach out and touch her.

"Too bad you'll never get a chance," she teased, pulling away. She wore a knowing smile on her face, the look of a victor, as a head peeked out from around the corner Marlene had just come from.

"Round two McKinnon?" an unfamiliar boy beckoned her.

"Yes," she nodded, still facing Sirius, "sounds like a plan."

He knew, as he watched her hips sway temptingly as she strode away, exactly what he'd be dreaming about tonight.


James returned to Mary's house late in the evening to round up Lily. She'd assured him she could get home perfectly fine on her own but James found the farther she got into her pregnancy the more anxious he became about everything she did. She – and the baby – were his whole world and as things rolled on that truth became more and more evident.

Upstairs Lily had dozed off in the armchair by Emmeline's bed. She had her arms wrapped protectively around her bump, her hair covering one side of her face as her head hung to the side. Surprisingly, it was Emmeline James found in the process of waking up, her violet eyes cracked open.

"Hey," he whispered, coming towards her side. "Are you okay?"

"Mm," she mumbled, too doped up to communicate much. James was about to grab the phial of potion on her bedside and press it to her lips when he heard the floorboard creak behind him. Gideon was standing in the doorway, a takeout bag in his hand.

"I heard talking and came rushing up," he explained. James moved aside so that he could be the one by Emmeline's side. Gideon handed him the back of food and took Emmeline's hand in his own.

"Hey," he spoke softly to her. "Emmy, it's me."

Once again, Emmeline simply mumbled in response. James knew how awful and foggy sleeping drought could make things, sadly, it was also the most efficient way to heal a wounded body.

"I'm so sorry Em," Gideon said, pressing his lips to the top of her hand. "For everything…"

James felt awkward, standing in the corner with a bag of what smelt like Chinese takeaway. He wasn't sure whether to wake Lily to go or just wander downstairs himself and make a cup of tea while he waited. Unable to decide, he stood awkwardly in the corner, keeping his eyes planted on the ground.

"Gideon…" Emmeline muttered. "I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine," he promised before anyone could hear what Emmeline hadn't meant to do. "You're safe, none of it matters anymore."

"I love…" Emmeline's last word was cut off but James felt it was self-explanatory. Apparently, so did Gideon, as he leant in and kissed her forehead with affection.

"I'll stay with her," he told James, smiling proudly from his place at her bedside. "You can take Lily home."

James was grateful for the excuse to leave. He placed aside the takeaway bag to wake his sleeping wife.

"Is she awake?" a new voice asked. James looked over his shoulder to see Hestia Jones had joined the party, a tray of coffee in her hands. James was beginning to wonder whether he'd missed some kind of memo about a potluck.

"In and out of it," Gideon responded, barely looking up.

"Hestia…" Emmeline mumbled from her bed. "Hestia…" She repeated the name over and over until the girl approached her, standing opposite Gideon.

"I'm here," she reassured Emmeline. "Right here." She ran her hand along Emmeline's arm, the touch oddly intimate for two women that James had barely seen speak. Emmeline's discomfort seemed to ease under Hestia's touch, her face softening. Gideon watched the pair, eyes narrowed, a jealous curiosity seeming to come over him like a wave.

"Lil," James said, desperate to escape the tension-filled room, "come on sweetheart, time to wake up."

Lily's eyes drifted open, drowsy at first, and then filled with anxiety. "I feel asleep!" she cried out in horror.

"It's fine, look, she's perfectly fine." Lily stared at the bed, Emmeline surrounded by visitors and sighed with relief.

"You came." Emmeline used what little strength she still possessed to give Hestia the faintest of smiles. Hestia took Emmeline's hand in her own, pressing it against her cheek. James watched as Gideon, once so thankful, seemed to grow uneasier. It appeared the same questions running through James' mind ran through his. The pair made little effort to hide their affection.

"Em," Gideon whispered, reaching for Emmeline's hand. Her violet eyes, still bloodshot and heavy, turned to him and James could see from over Gideon's shoulder the guilt that filled them. Suddenly it all made sense, she didn't love him anymore…

Lily, who had been standing behind James, reached for his hand, squeezing it with purpose. "Let's go," she whispered, drawing him towards the door. Perhaps she felt too that the scene was painful to watch. The sorrow in Gideon's eyes and the relief in Emmeline's as she finally let go of the past.

It was when they'd reached the front door – ready to leave – that James drew his wife in towards him.

"I love you," he whispered, forehead pressed against hers. He never wanted her to forget it, never wanted the words to grow old or distant, something not mentioned quite enough. He wanted her to know every time she looked into his eyes that she was loved – and always would be.

"I know," Lily promised, her hand cupping his cheek. "It's why you annoy the heck out of me."

June 1975

James felt the smooth inhale of smoke as he took the first drag off his cigarette. The McKinnons' house had grown stuffy with all the guests and – with a healthy amount of alcohol in his system – James was too claustrophobic to sit around inside. There were two girls whom he only vaguely recognised sitting out in the grass a ways off, giggling infectiously over bottles of Butterbeer. He contemplated approaching – joining in for the fun of it – when he heard the crunch of grass behind him.

Lily Evans, in all her red-haired, green-eyed glory, was walking right towards him. Her stride had purpose – as if she had chosen to approach James by her own free will. James watched, cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth until she was just a few feet away.

"Think I could bum one of those?" she asked.

"I didn't know you smoked?"

"Only when drinking," Lily shrugged, taking a cigarette from the box James offered her. "I'm not quite the addict you are."

"Well," James coughed awkwardly to break the tension building up in his throat, "we can't all be perfect."

"How's your summer been?" Lily inquired, starting up a real conversation between the pair.

"Slow," James sighed. "No one around to pull pranks on."

"Must be a dark time for you," Lily scoffed, not taking her usual stern tone with him. There was an ease between them – one that made little sense to James considering their last conversation…it seemed that Lily was thinking the same thing. Her eyes rose to meet his with what appeared to be remorse.

"I might've been a bit hard on you the last time we talked…"

"Ancient history," James blew it off. He pretended as though he didn't spend nights tossing and turning in bed, imagining a scenario where Lily had fallen into his arms at the end of the encounter with Severus and realised James truly cared for her.

"I just wasn't raised in the same world as you guys were. When you've had to walk on eggshells your whole life it's difficult to respect someone who treats others so carelessly."

"Point taken," James grumbled, not ready for a character analysis during his night of 'wild fun'.

"Not that Sev can't be a prick when he wants to be…" Lily gulped nervously, taking a drag from the cigarette between her fingers. "That's just not in my nature I suppose." Lily seemed to give up on trying to explain herself.

"What isn't?"

"The cruelty," she elaborated, "even to those I hate."

"So you think I'm cruel?" James could feel his walls shooting up, creating a barrier around himself to provide padding between him and any insult Lily threw his way. It was hard to have someone he admired so greatly think so low of him.

"I think you do what you like," Lily answered honestly, "and often that means not thinking of others."

"Why are you even out here Lily?" James' tone grew cold, sick of the scolding he was receiving. He wasn't in the mood, not tonight. "I haven't bothered you all night."

"I know—"

"So then why are you out here making me feel like I've done something wrong? You made it perfectly clear that day by the lake how you felt about me, I'm sure our whole year knows now." James turned away, trying to hide the pain that shadowed his face at the mention of that afternoon. He had been forced to endure teasing for weeks afterwards, 'arrogant toerag' snickered under people's breath.

"I wanted to say sorry," Lily admitted. The confession caught James off guard. He turned back, eyes widened. "I don't think what you did was right that day but I…I was cruel as well. Joining in on the name calling didn't make me any better than the two of you." Her green eyes faced the ground. She was digging her heel into the grass, not daring to look to James.

"I never thought I'd see the day," James laughed. "Lily Evans apologising to me."

Lily smiled, a wide genuine smile, and for the first time, James thought he might've made a little progress, wiggled his way a little further into her world. "Don't get cocky now," she warned, looking up as she finished off her cigarette. "I have had quite a few drinks."

"I guess I'll just have to cherish the moment then."

And he would, they both would.