AN: I got into bed at 2am and the EO preview photos popped into my head. I wanted to get something out, and this is the result. I have no idea if it's any good because it was a super late night ramble. Plus, aside from my recent "Dirty Talk" revamp, I haven't written in yeeeeears. I don't really even know if this is a standalone one shot, or the start of a series. But here we are. Let me know what you think!
Also, for sanity purposes, COVID does not exist in this world.
Disclaimer: Not mine, but grateful that we are getting them back.
February 19, 2021
"Thanks for coming," he says as he takes her hand to shake. He wants to hug her, but he knows he needs to earn that privilege.
Olivia takes a moment to study his face. He's a little more wrinkled, his hair is cropped shorter and he's thinner. But it's him. It's her Elliot. His eyes are tired, but they're the same eyes she would catch stealing glances at her across the desk. The same eyes that would narrow intensely as he was trying to get his thoughts together.
The same eyes she had been dreaming about for the past ten years.
She wishes this moment was a dream. She never for a moment thought that the first time she'd see him in so long would be at the funeral of his ex-wife.
"Of course," she says. "It's good to see you." She feels the sting of tears, but she's not sure if they're the sad tears that come with a burial, or tears from the feeling of being so close to him for the first time in so long. "I wish the circumstances were different, but it's good to see you." She says it again and she must mean it, because the words feel good.
"You too. I was really hoping-"
"Elliot, thanks for helping me with all this." They're interrupted by Dan, the man who had introduced himself as Kathy's husband. "I need your help for a moment."
Elliot turns back to Olivia. "Excuse me," he says. His hand touches her shoulder and he squeezes gently before he walks past her and follows Dan to wherever they were going.
"Olivia." A woman calls her name and she turns toward the voice only to find an adult Kathleen Stabler approaching. Olivia opens her arms, and Kathleen falls right into her embrace. "I can't believe you're here."
"Oh sweetie, as soon as I heard about your mother, there was no question." It isn't a lie, even though her original plan was to sneak in to the church, sit in the back, and then sneak back out before the end. That plan went to shit when Elliot had locked eyes with her during his eulogy. He had been recounting his relationship with Kathy, and sharing a memory from many years ago, when he was working for the NYPD. Olivia's heart had skipped a beat when she realized he was talking about a time in his life that she had been a part of. Based on the way he left her, she assumed that he had wanted to forget the past.
"Kathy and I were at the first of many rocky points of our marriage," he had said. "But that evening made me realize that no matter what happened in our relationship, we would always have each other's backs. I remember telling my partner at the time-"
That happened to be the moment he looked up and caught her eyes. He stopped, mid-sentence, and his jaw dropped slightly. He had quickly cleared his throat. "Well, it was a long time ago." He had continued with his words, but continuously would look at her, and it had been as if he was speaking to her directly.
"My brothers and sisters are all here. We're going to Dad's once everyone here has left," Kathleen snaps Olivia out of the memory. "Maybe you could join us."
Olivia's eyes widen slightly. "Oh, I don't know, honey. Your dad and I have been apart for a decade now. I don't know if this would be the best time to-"
"Liv." Kathleen cuts her off, and she's taken aback. It's so foreign to hear her abbreviated name in any Stabler voice. She follows Kathleen's gaze to Elliot, who is now speaking to the women who had been standing beside Olivia during the burial. Kathleen lowers her voice. "Dad was praying that somehow, some way, you would be here."
Olivia looks at Kathleen skeptically. "How do you know that?"
She watches as water begins to line Kathleen's eyes, threatening to spill over. "Dad has been keeping it together for us kids for the past few weeks. We all spent last night at his house so we could support each other for today. He was so strong while he watched his children fall apart at times throughout the night. He sat with us in my old bedroom as we drifted off to sleep. I woke up about an hour later really dehydrated, so I got up to get water. I saw that his bedroom light was on and assumed he fell asleep, so I started walking toward his door.
"I was about six steps away when I realized he wasn't asleep." Kathleen pauses to take a breath as the tears begin to tail down her face. "Olivia, he was sobbing. I was about to knock when he started speaking. He asked God to please take care of Mom, and to give his children strength. He started sobbing again, but when he pulled himself together, he said 'And God, if it's not too much to ask, please give me strength to get through tomorrow.' I thought that was it, because it got really quiet and he turned his light off. I was about to go get my water, but he started talking again." Kathleen lowers her voice and leans closer to Olivia. "He said, 'By some miracle, God, please let her be there. Please tell me she somehow knows that I need her.'"
Olivia's own tears begin to fall. "Kathleen, I haven't seen your dad in ten years. He could have been talking about anybody."
Kathleen shakes her head. "I know it was you. He needs you." Kathleen looks past Olivia and waves at someone in the distance. "That's Henry, my fiancé." She hugs Olivia once more. "Promise me you'll at least think about coming by." Kathleen walks over to Henry before Olivia can even respond.
When she turns back around she sees Elliot alone, facing the new resting spot for Kathy. His head is bent, and she can't resist the urge to go comfort him. A million thoughts are running through her head as she walks to him. She hates him for what he did. She feels awful for the loss of his former wife and friends, the mother of his beautiful children. She thinks about how many times she's thought about how their reunion might go. Sometimes she slapped him. Other times he was on his knees, begging for forgiveness. There were times when they were holding each other, crying together.
As she gets closer to him, she realizes how much she has to say to him, yet doesn't know how she's going to formulate the words. She stops and clenches her fists when she reaches him. She opens her mouth to say something, anything, to try and express what she is feeling- has been feeling for the past decade. But as he turns his head, she sees his tears and all of her thoughts fade away. He catches her eye and turns to face her. They stand there, staring at each other for a few moments before they both desperately step toward one another and fall into an emotional embrace. They hold each other as they cry, and she pulls back to tell him the one thing she really needs to say.
"I need you, too, Elliot."
