Episode 15, Chapter 1:
There are three things we do alone: We are born, we die, and, if we're a high school junior headed for college, we take the SAT. And while the test is said to measure our best traits, preparing for it inevitably brings out the worst…Humility becomes self-doubt…Striving becomes obsession…Some are driven to self-medication…While others cling to the security of being part of a group…And anyone who's used to bending the rules will find themselves breaking them.
"Well look who's here? I haven't seen you in a week; let alone heard from you. How's it going Blaine?" Tina said coming up to him in her café uniform.
He didn't see her when he first walked in—he'd been too absorbed to even look around. Blaine couldn't say anything as he drank a gulp of his coffee, so instead he pointed eagerly to the cover of the book he'd been reading.
"Studying for the SAT? Me too! I've been in tutoring prep classes since I started high school, so hopefully I'll do okay. It depends a lot on where you want to go. I think I have a fair shot at Brown. You know that's always been my dream school!" she smiled.
"You'll definitely get it too, Tina. They'd be out of their minds not to accept you," he said putting his hand over hers.
"Thanks, Blainey-days! Wow, it's been a while since I said that. You mind me interrupting you right now?"
"No, not at all, I could use the distraction," he said organizing his books so she had a place to sit. "Don't you have work?"
"No, I'm on break; it's been an oddly quiet morning," she looked around, "Anyway... so before I forget to ask, how's Kurt?"
"He's good…" he said and began nodding a lot; his eyes looked far off.
"Are you sure?" she said more urgently.
"I mean I haven't talked to him in a while. I've kind of been an island all to myself since Monday. What day is it?"
"It's Friday… speaking of which shouldn't you be going to school?"
"What time is it?" he checked his watch. "Oh gosh, yes I should be!" he got up frantically getting his things together. Tina had time so she helped him and then decided to walk him out.
"So, how's the studying going? You don't look so good," she asked him nicely.
"Really? I don't know what you mean. I feel fine! Confident! Like I'm going to show that test who's the boss—" he stopped when he caught the disbelieving face Tina gave him. "I don't know if I can do it!" his brows scrunched together as he admitted his fears.
"Of course, you can, Blaine; you're one of the smartest people I know."
"I don't know…like I felt fine at first, and then I cracked open a new SAT book on Monday, and knowing I have less than a week before the test, all of a sudden I just fell apart. I go stir-crazy in my room studying so I drink more coffee. Tina, I haven't slept in days! I can't pay attention in class. I'm looking at the board and thinking through these logic problems," he said lifting the book in his hand.
"That explains why your hair looks a little off," Tina commented, noticing he used less hair gel, and it was showing. He was sweating it out, and the back of his head was curling fast.
"OH NO!" he panicked, feeling the back of it.
"Blaine, you need to listen to me. You've never been nervous in your entire life. You're the voice of reason, and you fix everyone else's problems. Now, you just need to work on your own. You can do this, and you will. It is just a test that will come and go and make you wonder why on earth you wasted your time giving yourself a heart attack over it," she said with any easy breath. "So, breathe, go to class, listen to your teachers and know that everything will be okay! Call me later. We're going to hang out. You are not cramming the night before a test. You will rest if I have anything to say about it," she said.
Tina went for a hug. He melted in her arms, smiling like he hadn't seen the sun in days. The overcast skies matched his mood.
Kurt never studied for a test as much as he tried for this one. His practice tests hadn't been that bad. He could totally do this! He wanted to go out on Friday night to celebrate how awesome he was going to do on Saturday. He knew that Quinn was the person to call.
Quinn had been studying for this all her life. Quinn wanted Yale like Frodo wanted to destroy the ring. Whenever Quinn talked about the SAT, the conversation had always bored Kurt so he never paid much attention. He called her excited about his practice test scores only for her to tear down his confidence in a simple sentence. He'd managed to get a 1750 composite. To him anything above a 1500 was an impressive show of smarts, but Quinn stopped his happy train by telling him that nothing below a 2000 would even be looked at by Ivies.
"Don't worry though! I'm throwing a get-together at my place for you and the girls with hands-on tutors."
"I don't know if I—"
"Kurt, you need this. You have no clue where you're going to college. You need to do good on this so you have some options, just not Yale for obvious reasons."
"I'll let you know…"
"I'll see you there. Oh, and are you here yet? The bell's about to ring," Quinn said, and at that Kurt leapt from his bed, he'd been working all night, taking naps in between, and with his blackout curtains had totally lost track of time. He should have noticed by how chipper Quinn sounded that she'd already gotten to school.
Rachel wasn't worried about the SAT; one: because she was a freshman; two: because she'd been studying for the test out of library books and online tests since she was young and she averaged 1800 already, meaning that when the time came, she'd have no trouble breaking 2000. While her brother and her clique of girls were all stressing, she was happy just to be back in the circle.
She called Sam again this morning. He hadn't responded to her calls after he'd saved her social status, but she hoped he'd hear her message.
"Hey Sam, you never called me back. You're probably too wrapped up in SAT studying, which is fine. Just wanted to thank you again for what you did for me last weekend. Santana always acts nicer around you, and as much as Quinn may hate me, she'd never show you that side of her. You really were my guardian angel bringing me to their dinner so it wouldn't be like I crashed. Brittany's sweet to me so Santana is sometimes, and Quinn can't say anything against both of them… The only thing I'm worried about is Finn. But I'll figure it out. I just have one question: are you still with Santana? It's not serious, right? She's not a very nice person. Maybe I'll run into you today..."
Rachel walked to the train station in the morning to get to school. She'd rushed out so she wouldn't run into her brother or her dad. She guessed her brother had already left, and her dad probably hadn't woken up, so she had no worries on her morning walk. That was until she saw her dad standing by the subway entrance.
"Dad, what are you doing here?" she asked him, looking around as if this was some big prank.
"Well, I bet this was the only way I'd see you in the morning. You don't think I've noticed you waking up earlier than usual and sneaking around so you won't have to talk to me. I'm worried about you. I never see you. I don't know what's going on with you."
"Nothing's on! I just don't want to hear you ask me those same questions all the time."
"I wouldn't ask if I thought you were okay. You're changing, Rachel. I don't know you anymore, and can you guess how that makes me feel? I have no idea what's going on with my baby girl?" Burt spoke smartly making her feel bad and regret hurting her dad.
"I'm fine, dad. I love you. I just have a lot on my plate."
"Me too, but do you think you can carve out some time for me and you? I know you have your singing and music and Broadway, but we used to hang out anyway, and we found things to talk about," Burt said. Rachel nodded. She hadn't wanted him to confront her before, and now she knew why. This was why. She felt awful. She nodded more and hugged him. Tonight, they'd do dinner like they used to, and nothing would interfere with the quality time they needed.
Santana couldn't study. It was not in her nature. She was going to do what Puck did and pay someone to take it for her. No questions asked. Puck had names and numbers, and she'd been involved with him before enough that she didn't have to worry about doing him any favors. She was going to pay for Brittany's double, but the blonde didn't mind taking tests. Santana feared for her because she knew she never got above a D on tests she took, but she did whatever Brittany wanted. The blonde had gotten plenty of SAT study books. The last one she'd been left alone with she turned into one of those flipbooks with a doodled story about a dinosaur befriending a unicorn. Brittany couldn't wait to show Santana who frowned through her smile. Maybe she could bribe the test maker to change her grade after the fact…
Quinn rolled her eyes at Brittany's flipbook and continued reading Jane Eyre, which she might use for the essay portion. After rolling her eyes, she made eye contact with Lauren Zizes. She hadn't spoken to her ever directly. Just a week ago, they'd both drunkenly berated Puck, which might have given them something in common, if Puck hadn't taken Zizes as his date. Zizes oozed confidence, and even though Puck had been annoyed by drunk Lauren, he still liked her as a distraction. Zizes knew she had him wrapped around her finger so with Quinn looking, she found Puck and wrapped his arm around him. He was surprised but liked it a lot.
On top of that, Rachel arrived just then.
"Hi girls!" she greeted them as she sat down. She handed each of them a paper bag with macarons. Brittany smiled, hugged her and took a bite of the pink one. Santana nodded in appreciation. Quinn yawned and handed them back.
"No thanks little R. We're not buddies."
"Not yet anyway, Q, but you'll come around," Rachel responded and packed the cookies away in her bag. Quinn hated her voice, but her tenacity was admirable. She'd given her the cold shoulder for the last five days, and she'd managed to take it all with a smile. Either Rachel was dumb, too nice, or plotting against her. Quinn could hold a grudge until she found out which it was with Little R.
"Santana, Brittany you're invited to my place for a cram session tonight. Kurt's coming too. Sorry Rachel, no underclassmen…"
Rachel pouted, but accepted it. She hadn't won yet.
Spotted in the halls of Constance: Little R realizing that age really does come before beauty.
Blaine went straight to an outdoor table to study during lunch rather than eat anything. Kurt didn't see him in the cafeteria so he checked outside. When he spotted him, he went back in and got two trays of food.
"Surprise, stranger!" he smiled as he sat down next to him. The boy still looked numb. "Blaine?"
"I'm sorry, Kurt. I can't talk. Tina wants to hang out tonight, and I need to study enough before I see her because she won't let me."
"Maybe that's a good thing, you look like you've seen a ghost," he laughed. "I know I'm pretty pale, but—" he paused waiting for Blaine's usual reassurance. Blaine was too absorbed to say what Kurt was expecting him to say. "You haven't talked to me all week. I think you should give this a rest. Your social life is suffering."
"You're the only part of my social life," he corrected.
"Then, I am suffering!" Kurt said dramatically, desperate to get a reaction from Blaine. He'd never seen him like this. Blaine blinked a couple times and shook his head.
"I'm sorry, Kurt," he spoke earnestly. His boyfriend saw him come a little bit to life.
"Have lunch with me. Without the books," he said gingerly closing the book in front of Blaine, who nodded appreciatively. Once it was closed, the curly-haired boy felt a world of difference. He grinned brighter at his boyfriend.
Lunch was filled with all the conversation about all the things that had happened to Kurt in the last five days. Because Blaine hadn't really been living, he had no new stories to add. He didn't mind. His brain was successfully distracted and taking a break. One of Blaine's greatest talents was his listening skills and Kurt desperately missed that after a few days away from him. Time flew as it usually did when they were together, and when the end of lunch bell rang, they were reluctant to leave. Blaine was late to his first class so he rushed off to the next one. Kurt took his time strolling through the courtyard.
"Kurt, you going somewhere?" a voice called from behind him. Kurt slowly turned.
"Dave?"
Spotted in the courtyard: Kurt looking like he's seen a ghost: The ghost of parties past.
~A.N. OH BOY this is about to get REAL interesting! stay tuned!
