AN: Author + Alcohol = This. Have fun yall!
Bumps in the road
"Hiccup have you cleaned out the shed yet?!" Astrid asked from the living room where she was helping Nuffink with his geography homework.
"I'll get around to it honey!" Hiccup answered back as he was in the kitchen doing the dishes from their lunch.
"I think mom wants you to do it now dad," Nuffink added which caused Astrid to laugh while Hiccup groaned. He really didn't want to clean the shed. The last time he did he found one of the twins' spiders in there and it crawled up his pants. That was an eventful day, to say the least.
"Mom, dad promised to teach me how to drive today," Zephyr bounded down the stairs with a spring in her step.
Hiccup poked his head out of the kitchen to see his teenage daughter standing in the living room dangling the keys to the minivan Hiccup regularly drove. She had a smug look on her face as she helped him get out of his hellish chore which he himself kept putting off. He also kept putting off teaching Zephyr to drive. His princess had just turned 16 a week ago and already she was asking to get behind the wheel.
"Dad you promised!" Zephyr said as she brought out the puppy-dog eyes to plead.
Those eyes had the desired effect and Zephyr cheered as Hiccup told her to grab her stuff. He'd just need to go to his room to take some…. 'Precautions'.
Zephyr was already waiting impatiently in the driveway when Hiccup finally emerged. And when she saw her dad she sighed.
"Dad… really?!" Zephyr groaned. "It's not going to be so bad!"
Hiccup had taken precautions indeed. He was wearing a football helmet Snotlout had left behind at their house once during a drunken gathering, knee and arm pads, and he had a small pillow duct-taped to his chest. "Really, you look like an armadillo going to war!"
Hiccup walked, we will not call it a slight waddle, to the driver's side and then proceeded to tape something. Zephyr when she looked over his shoulder groaned even more. Her father had taped the speedometers up to the speed she could drive. The taped-over part read 'This will give your daddy a heart-attack,'.
"Dad! I'm not that bad! Mom let me drive in the Wallmart parking lot last year to test it out!" Zephyr tried to argue. "That speed is way too slow!"
Hiccup once again pointed at the words written on the taped over section and then got into the passenger's seat, all the while his teenage daughter was groaning.
Once Zephyr was behind the wheel Hiccup told her to show him how she adjusted the mirrors and the steering wheel to her height as she was slightly shorter than him. Hiccup nodded as Zephyr did a good job and then he told her to back out of the driveway slowly. She put the car in reverse but frowned when it didn't move.
"You forgot the emergency brake," Hiccup pointed out which caused his daughter to blush in embarrassment. She tried it again this time the car rolled back smoothly. "Now there is a trick to knowing when you've backed up enough and can turn in your lane." Hiccup stated. "Watch closely, once the car is halfway out of the drive you then and only then turn your steering wheel. You should turn perfectly into your lane then."
Zephyr did as instructed and breathed a sigh of relief when it went somewhat smoothly. She had turned a little too fast so she hit the curb but her dad said that it was a good try for her first time.
"Now we are going to take a few turns around the neighbourhood. I'm not letting you on the freeway until you have your learners' permit." Hiccup stated as they started to drive slowly. Zephyr was a bit nervous. She stayed close to the speed Hiccup had set though she did become a bit more daring later. Once Hiccup explained the intersection and when one had the right of way, she became a bit bolder. They were now at least two blocks away from their house and Zephyr sped up just a little bit. She however did not account for the speedbump that had been recently added by the HOA.
"Speedbump, speedbump! SPEEDBUMP!" Hiccup exclaimed but it was too late and Zephyr along with the minivan flew over the speedbump causing Hiccup's helmeted head to hit the ceiling of the car.
"OUCH!" Zephyr heard her dad exclaim and she looked towards him to see him groaning. When he saw what she was doing he shouted "Don't take your eyes off the road!" Because as she turned to look at him her hands automatically turned the steering wheel as well which nearly sent them on a path to run over Mildew's begonias. The car swerved and Hiccup sighed in relief as the begonias were saved. He really did not want to deal with that cranky man and his creepy, possibly demonic, sheep.
The swerve had thankfully only hit the curb and Hiccup held a hand over his heart to calm himself. "Zephyr what were you thinking. You slow down before you hit a speedbump."
"I thought it was to slow me down itself," Zephyr answered. "Mom never said I needed to slow down for those."
"Right, they were just added last weekend after the twins tested a new engine." Hiccup sighed. "Even if Astrid took you driving previously you wouldn't have encountered them." He then looked ahead. "A new one is coming up. Be sure to slow down."
"Right!" Zephyr stated with a determined expression. The minivan slowed down as it neared the speedbump but Zephyr slowed down too much and she didn't clear the second speedbump. Instead, she slightly rolled backwards.
"Let's try this again," Hiccup said as he observed his daughter in traffic. Once the speedbump was cleared they approached another intersection, this one was empty. "Don't forget your turn signal," Hiccup told her.
"But this section is empty," Zephyr replied.
"It doesn't matter. You always use your turn signal. What if there was a cyclist coming? He'd need to know which direction you're turning so he knows to either wait or go." Hiccup answered.
He then thought for a moment. The suburb wasn't busy so it wouldn't be bad to show Zephyr a busier street. "Why don't we head to the twins' place. We can pick up some food and I can teach you how to park."
"The twins?" Zephyr blinked. Aunt Ruffnut and Uncle Tuffnut ran a bar slash Chinese take out place. It was a booming business in the suburbs where food choices weren't as diverse. "Can I get dumplings?!" She immediately asked and Hiccup had to once again hold his heart as the car swerved slightly.
Once Hiccup's heart was back in his chest he said he'd call to order while directing Zephyr through the streets. Zephyr favored the dumplings, Nuffink loved the spring rolls, and Astrid liked the Pekin duck. He also ordered some braised pig trotters for himself. It was one of Hiccup's cheat dishes as Astrid wasn't very fond of it so it was unlikely she would touch it. He got to eat it all by himself, with the occasional midnight snack from the leftovers.
"There's the restaurant," Hiccup said. "Now we just need to find a parking spot.
"Oh, there's one there," Zephyr pointed to one that was across the street from the restaurant they were approaching. Another car was backing out of it and his daughter slowed down to give them space before taking the spot. Hiccup was impressed, he had previously thought that he'd have to walk her through the process of parking but she did it flawlessly. So he idly wondered and asked aloud "How can you parallel park this good when you need to work on the rest of your driving?"
"Dad, dumplings are at stake!" Zephyr said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 'Of course, it would be food,' Hiccup mused. His wife was similarly motivated when she chased down the seagull that had stolen her corndog that one time.
The poor traumatized seagull was the least of Hiccup's worry as Zephyr had managed to perfectly parallel park, but she forgot the handbrake again. That seemed to be something to work on. He quickly pulled the handbrake as they were parked on a slight incline. It would be bad if they hit the car parked behind them. Technically, Zephyr should not be driving yet. His daughter blushed again when he pointed it out and told her that he would let her chase after the car herself if it rolled backwards. With that said they went to get their ordered food.
Once back home the parking went smoothly and Hiccup sighed in relief. Zephyr was perky as always but that might have to do with the batch of dumplings and two steamed baozi he had bought for her.
"Mom! We got food!" Zephyr announced as Hiccup closed the garage door. When he turned around Astrid was leaning against the doorframe and smirking at him.
"So how did it go?" She asked.
"As well as can be expected," Hiccup announced. "She can park but the corners will need some work."
"I take it I'll see you in that helmet more often?" Astrid teased which caused Hiccup to groan.
"HAHAHA," Hiccup muttered. "We nearly crashed into Mildew's garden. I'm pretty lucky to be alive."
"So I take it it will be a while before you teach her to steer one-handed?" Astrid raised a brow as Hiccup coughed suspiciously.
"I'm not teaching her that until she has her learner's permit and is 18!" He exclaimed. "Thor help us all!"
"At least teach her how to drive manual in your car," Astrid laughed as she saw her husband sputter. The minivan was the family car but Hiccup had an old Mustang he had fixed up. It had manual controls and he had never let one of the kids touch it. Teasing him was just so much fun.
"Hey dad," Nuffink poked his head out past his mother. "Zephyr said you were great. When can you teach me to drive?!"
Hiccup sputtered and coughed and sputtered again. He forgot that he would have to teach Nuffink too now that he was teaching Zephyr. Did Loki have some agenda against him? Was Odin displeased? He didn't think he could take it. At the very least he needed a stronger helmet because he still felt the bump on his head where it had hit the car ceiling. Maybe he should have just cleaned out the shed, like his wife wanted.
Astrid just laughed at Hiccup's predicament as she went back inside to eat some duck.
The End
