In the bathroom darkness, she saw the faint glow behind her pupils and the burning red trails cracking along her skin. In the bathroom's quiet, she could hear the cybernetics mechanical movements beneath her unmarred dermal weave. Shepard touched a scar that ran up into her hairline... she followed it up and just inside the follicles there was a seam. Prying at it made an awful clicking sound, and then the plate pulled down. Her breath froze and she couldn't drag her eyes away from the mirror as her hand revealed more and more smooth titanium under-skeleton.

The pressure of the scream was there in her throat as Saren's Reaper puppet face stared back at her. His mouth opened and out came the impossibly loud, booming voice of Sovereign. "I am the vanguard of your destruction. We are legion, the time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."

The noise shorted the cybernetically enhanced hearing she possessed, crackling as he spoke and rattling painfully through her rib cage. Metallic fingers clawed out of her maw, stretching and breaking the hinges. She struggled desperately to tear her sight from her own horrible visage. Her body swung around and she saw inky blackness beyond a bright white planet. Her lungs burned, instinctually sucking in. The static in her ears turned into a hiss of oxygen and then into the long drone of a flatline heart monitor. Her eyes expanded against the light - she could see the familiar exo suits of Garrus, Wrex, Liara, Tali, and Ashley, broken and slowly spiraling in the void before her.

Shepard woke and registered the tail end of her own hoarse shout. She flipped over onto her back and sat up with her legs over the edge of the mattress. Her skin was slick with cold sweat, her heart hammered in her chest. Fuck. That had been a new one.

Fuck.

The N7 soldier snatched a pill bottle from the top of her nightstand to read the label. Meant to provide six to eight hours of sleep; CAUTION: do not take more than two. Side effects… She skimmed the list of things from somewhat unpleasant to downright scary. Ah, unusual dreams. She checked her tool. Four hours had passed since Garrus had woken her up. Shepard stood and a wave of vertigo washed over her that sent her staggering to the bathroom. She buckled hard on her knees in front of the toilet to unceremoniously dump the meager contents of her stomach. She sat there with her elbows propped on the rim, breathing hard and thinking for a long while. Four hours was about her maximum these days. Her dreams were already bad on their own. Nausea was something she couldn't afford… getting back into shape was going to be hard enough without that. She had to keep her calories inside. She rose to wash up in the sink. Shepard avoided her own reflection through necessity, the hairs on her neck would stand every time she contemplated looking into it. Eventually, after finishing, she glanced up as she dried off her face.

Luckily it was her own familiar visage staring back. She sighed in relief and scrutinized the scars Cerberus had left. The bruising was much better, her eyes less puffy. Everything had faded to green and yellow. The only remaining angry red was around her neck. Not surprising considering not one but two Krogan had gotten a hold of it in the last seventy two hours. The dark circles were still there. As she stood staring at herself she knew,even as she tried not to dwell on a pill-induced dream... that it had begun a new and wholly terrifying thought she hadn't yet dealt with. The red glow of her cracked skin all but confirmed it.

There was no way that Cerberus hadn't brought her back without the use of Reaper tech from Sovereign's carcass. None. She knew their M.O. She knew before she was blown to hell that clean-up efforts on the Citadel had reported many missing pieces from the original cataloged damage. Her lungs constricted, but she couldn't pull in a choked breath through the sob that escaped her.

She was a ticking time bomb now, exactly like Saren.


Shepard stepped off the lift into a busy mess hall in the middle of the fourth shift changing to first shift. The din was comforting after the quiet revelations she had just suffered. Eyes turned towards her and the crew issued a litany of greetings. As she walked over to the kitchen, she was met with the shock of her life - Jack standing in her full glory with two heaping plates of biscuits and gravy - at 0600 hours.

"Fucking finally, here she is. Shepard, I saved that spot there for you," she gestured with an elbow to the empty seats across from Zaeed and Grunt. "A fat, balding, old bird squawked to me that you spent your entire day yesterday vanguarding your way through every merc on that station - and all I saw you eat was that broth. You gotta calorie pack after runs like that. Your biotics will eat you alive." Was that concern in the tattooed woman's voice? Shepard's eyebrows must have raised up off her forehead and into her hair.

"Don't give me that fucking look - I need you to be good and ready to help me. I found the facility that kept me. And we are gonna raise it to the ground, okay? Can't have our local girl scout offing herself from fucking stupidity just yet. Now, sit," Jack herded the Commander backwards until she collapsed into one of the open seats. The biotic sat next to her and dropped both plates.

"I heard that, you psychotic bitch. In exactly what way am I fat?" Zaeed pointed his fork in Jack's face.

The biotic pushed the utensil back towards him."I called you old and bald too, not gonna dispute those, huh?" Jack scoffed.

Shepard hid her smile by stuffing a few spoonfuls in her mouth. Grunt guffawed loudly while he was using his dish like a dump truck, just sliding his food down his throat. The Krogan stood and trotted back over to the kitchen. She briefly wondered what portion number he was on.

"You are a right, miserable piece of work, you know that?" he grumbled. Grunt came back to sit with a vast plateful.

Shepard had to admit, she didn't know where fat came from either as she eyed him in his white tank and olive cargo pants. Did he have those arms out on purpose? She mentally chastised herself. This lack of frat regs was making her a god-damned vulture. She shifted her food around her plate while she put the brakes on her out-of-control hormones.

"Hey, if you can't swallow those biscuits, you need to get a second and third helping of those eggs. We've gotta work on your pull." Jack was watching her like a hawk.

The biotics new found caring was too surreal. She had to change the subject. "So where is this facility?" Shepard was glancing around the tables. Jacob was sitting further down, chatting with Ken and Gabby, the two ex Alliance engineers.

"Pragia. A jungle planet on the ass end of nowhere, where the vines are one step away from sentient, they take over and break down everything. Hopefully, there's enough left to waste. Cerberus files say it's abandoned, so should be easy," Jack was wolfing down her meal nearly as fast as Grunt had.

"Sounds reasonable. I think our murder squad can handle that," she trailed off as the mess hall muted. A taloned hand came into her field of vision and put down a full mug of black coffee. She swiveled to see Garrus, looking about as haggard as she felt. He set his palm on her shoulder before stalking off towards the med bay and disappearing behind the door. The murmuring in the room resumed at a lower pitch once he'd left. Shepard brought the mug to her lips and pulled contentedly at the warm liquid. It felt good on her still damaged esophagus. Two scoops of sugar. It was perfection. Jack and Zaeed shared a glance.

"Oh, a girl scout with a bad boy bird boyfriend? Shep, you wound me - that is so cliche," the biotic snorted.

"Have you seen their dicks? Don't knock it till you've tried it," Shepard smirked before having another deep sip of coffee. Jack choked on her forkful of biscuit, then gawked at her with an incredulous look. The mercenary and the Krogan both laughed enthusiastically at the biotics expense.

"Girl scout might have been the wrong name then," the tattooed woman muttered as she cleaned her plate.

Shepard stood and leaned in close to her. "Just use my original nickname," she grabbed her mug and walked towards the elevator, leaving her mostly finished dish.

"And what's that?" Jack called after her.

She stopped and twisted to face back to the biotic, and did not hide her dark smile.

"The Butcher."

The room was hushed as she left.


Garrus could already feel the anxiety and paranoia setting in from his stim abuse. He turned in his cot, struggling to sleep after speaking with Shepard. The lifeless remains of his teammates were vivid when he closed his eyes. Spirits, he was such a trusting fool. Sidonis never showed. By the time he had come back, they were all dead, and Sidonis's body wasn't among them. Nothing but a wave of mercs was left waiting for him. His breathing was rapid as he recalled their faces.

Montague's torso had been covering Weaver's much smaller frame... Melenis' back carapace was riddled with gunfire. She'd tried to protect Mierin, whose purple skin peeked out from under her. He never did figure out if they had been together. Butler and Sensat were slumped against one another near the front entrance. There had been scorch marks around the door to the bridge and the exit to the underground from Sensat's charges, along with the merc casualties they'd caused. His team had put up a hell of a fight, but his grief overtook the swell of pride in his chest. He'd barely had time to lay them out and pull sheets over them before the gunship had shown up. Such a failure, he should have known. He knew. Sidonis had always been twitchy, very un-Turian.

The sharp ache of his mourning forced him to sit up. Garrus could hear people out in the mess, meaning Chakwas was awake. He gave up trying to sleep and moved out of the main battery. Shepard was there. Even sleepless, his gaze found her. The soldier's way of fighting had nagged at him out on the bridge, but when she entered the apartment and spoke - he'd known. She was there for him, she was the Spirit meant to usher him to whatever comes after. It was fitting; it was perfect. A neat little bow on his time living. He'd never stopped thinking about her. His father had mentioned more than once that his grief over his superior's death was unseemly. So of course it was her. The relief and acceptance he felt in that moment was grand. But it was her long fringe that had set off his detective sensibilities first. Then it was the lip decoration. Over her two-year absence he'd always remembered her with the short fringe, the only way he'd ever seen her. He tried to blink away his memories. She was real. Sitting right there talking with the other Humans.

Gardner had a steaming N7 stamped mug sitting on the counter. That brought his mood up a bit, as Cerberus was clearly trying hard to please her. Shepard had always worn the armor, but he couldn't recall seeing anything else emblazoned with the obvious red stripe. She was sitting just a scant distance away, so he had reached over the counter and stuck in two scoops of the white stuff she liked in it. Bringing it over to her had seemed nice enough, but every step was seeping energy from him. He couldn't find the will to even say anything. When he went in to see Chakwas, he'd fully intended to get something to help with detoxing from the stims, but somehow saying anything about it seemed like an insurmountable task. He quietly let her check his bandages. The Doctor re-dressed his jaw with a compression covering meant to help with plate regrowth. Keeping his eyes open was difficult, much less comprehending what she was saying. Thankfully, she gave him a higher dosage of pain meds. As he walked back through the cafeteria, he hazily noticed how much quieter it was. All eyes watched his short trek to the battery.

Hours later in the freight bay, the ship's Captain was doing wall climbers at a harried pace. The punching bag was still swinging and her knuckles still wrapped. She finished her set and rose, breath rapid. Nausea swept over her anew, and she leaned her palms on her knees. Shepard spit nasty bile from her mouth and reached into her clothes for a hydro pod. She drained it, hoping it would settle her stomach. Fucking sleeping pills.

"Commander Shepard displaying signs of distress. Stress indicative hormones elevated, antibody and white blood cell count low. Insomnia? Recommend nutrient supplements and increased protein intake along with a sedative." Mordin was standing behind her with his scan tool opened.

"Mordin, is this how you come onto all the ladies? Sneak up behind them and read them their stats?" She smiled and sucked down another pod.

He blinked at her twice before typing on his omni-tool. "Of course not. Salarians have very little sex drive and comparatively short lifespans. No time for pickup lines. Tend to be more forthcoming," His lips pulled up into a grin. "One does not sleep with the Queen of Omega with bad pickup lines."

Shepard felt her jaw hit the floor. She scrambled to regain her composure. "No… no way, you are full of shit. Not gonna play me Mordin."

His smile widened. "Shocking conclusion. My job is facts and data. Am not the type to be 'Full of Shit'." Salarians were notoriously easy to catch in a lie. He looked right at her, that little grin still affixed.

Holy shit. Hoooooly shit, he was serious.

"Anyway, came to discuss conclusive results on seeker swarm subject. Designing counter measure that should be ready for suit dispersal in 2 days." He pulled up a diagram of the dissected seeker. "Measure is hormonal and technological. Should make individuals effectively invisible to swarms."

Joker's voice broke over the cargo bay com. "Commander, message from the Illusive Man incoming."

Shepard looked to Mordin. "I've got a feeling we might need that counter measure sooner than that. Can you do it?"

He typed furiously on his tool for a moment. "It is possible."

She nodded and spun to shrug on her N7 hoodie.

Shepard was scrutinizing him out of the corner of her eye while she tugged on her under suit. Did his pupils seem dilated? Jack was behind him, bouncing on the balls of her feet and stretching out her shoulders. His hawk like stare turned to meet her gaze after plugging his rifle into his back holster.

"What is it Shepard?" Came his flanging voice. "You've got that look."

"We need to get you new armor." She looked away from him.

He reached up to probe the damage at the collar of his Archangel gear. "It's superficial."

"Superficial? You ate a rocket. I just saw the back hole spark. Are the biometrics even working?" She turned and presented him with her back. He pulled the zipper up across her backside and to her neck.

"The shield and the medi gel dispenser are functioning. That's all that matters." He tapped his visor. "I don't need biometrics."

"Maybe you don't but I sure will if you go down. I'm going to hafto dig through years of N training to remember how to check the pulse on a Turian." She began clipping armor pieces to her suit.

"Oh, I would hate to be an inconvenience to you. I'll just make sure I don't go down," he said sarcastically. They glared at one another for a few moments. "What are you actually trying to say?"

She sighed. "You're right. I'm more worried about what we are getting into here. Mordin's countermeasure is untested, so this could be an absolute shit show that equals our death."

He kept staring.

"OKAY fine. Alenko is down there," she huffed.

He sucked in a loud breath. "Kaiden? How do you know that?"

"Tim told me Cerberus clocked troops being dispatched to this colony. Alenko is the ranking officer. One of my crew known to be here? I'd bet that's not a coincidence, for the Collectors or the Alliance. He's here for me and so are they." She finished snapping her last piece on and checked her weapons.

"I'm sure they know how he felt about me, pretty sure the whole ship did after that embarrassing confession of his in the mess." Shepard shuddered visibly. "Which means this is a power play. The Alliance will be hoping I at least respect him enough to not fucking shoot him if I have to. They don't know me nearly well enough though. So, be ready for anything."

"Yeah, we knew. I made a decent amount of money off of that." Garrus rubbed his thumb absently over his bandage.

Shepard balked. "You guys bet on him telling me?"

He nodded and pulled his mandible back in a smirk. "Wrex didn't think he had the quad to tell you. There was too much desperation on his face when you'd walk by though, I could tell."

The Commander rolled her eyes and spoke quietly. "We were on a mission so damn dangerous we lost more than one crewman, and he has the nerve to do that. Who had the time to even THINK like that? I sure as fuck didn't. At that point it was hard to think about anything over the Protheans still screaming in my head."

Garrus was quiet except for a deep thrumming from his chest,

"What's with all the extra noises? That an Archangel thing?" She turned toward him, sheathing her shotgun.

"What are you talking about?" He looked at her quizzically.

"You! You are growling for Christ's sake." Shepard motioned at him. The noise halted.

"You… can hear that?" His mandible sucked in and fluttered. Surprise.

"Yeah, Miranda said I'm loaded with upgrades. Hearing was one of them. Have you always made these noises?"

"Yes, our sub vocal tones are part of our language. Humans can't usually hear most of them, though. I had no idea, you should have said something sooner."

"What, when you were lying on the operating table?"

He paused. "Point taken."

"Are you two lovebirds ready yet? I'd like to kick some ass over here," Jack yelled from the inside of the shuttle.

"Lovebirds?" He fixed his gaze back on her.

"Oh, yeah, Jack probably thinks we are having sex." Shepard strode away.

"Wait, why, what did you say to her?!" He called.


Planet side was going better than she expected. She needed to remember to get Mordin something. She wasn't sure what Salarian's liked, but he deserved an award for being pressured into getting the counter measure done faster than he intended. The swarms were staying away. Only every now and then would a rogue seeker bounce off of her shields. Each time was a hair-raising experience, but so far so good.

No sign yet of Alenko or any Alliance soldiers... the only thing she could think was that the seeker swarms had gotten to them. A man she found hiding in a bunker did confirm they had been planetside. Shepard could feel the guilt setting in her stomach. At least they interrupted the Collectors long enough that some colonists had not been abducted, and instead were still there, frozen in stasis.

Her team was doing well, she and Garrus fell into their old habits like time hadn't passed at all. It was a mental boost she desperately needed, a few moments of normal banter and his amazing shooting. Jack was an indomitable force, taking out entire groups of Collectors while EDI was calibrating the Alliance's most useless gift of all time. Who sets up planetary defense turrets and doesn't calibrate them to work? There were husks present, but they seemed different from the ones Saren used. They had seen no dragon's teeth either. Other than flying, which was a nasty surprise, the Collectors weren't any more difficult than a typical Geth unit. Shepard was enjoying herself, darting around and flaying the insects as they landed. Until one of them spoke. To her. By name. Suddenly she couldn't pretend it was old times anymore.

"You escaped us before, Shepard, not again. I am the harbinger of your ascendence," a drone she was locked in melee with said with an eerie deep voice.

Every pore on her body pulled taught. "It really is them. They are working for them."

Behind her, Garrus' rifle report cracked, and the drone disappeared in a cloud. The body slumped on the Commander, spattering her with its blood.

"What are you going on about?" Jack came over the com.

"They are working for the Reapers," the Turian spat.

Shepard stood frozen on the battlefield.

Another drone began speaking. "You cannot kill me, Shepard. You will regret your resistance." It pointed towards her. "Preserve Shepard's body if possible."

The field became pandemonium. A wave of drones and human husks were on her in a heartbeat, and she could barely make out the shouts of her teammates over her own labored breathing. Scions were launching warps across the field. She cut her way free of the horde and Jack let loose a shock wave to push everything back.

"Good luck, Harbinger. I will make sure there is nothing left of me when I take you to hell!" The Commander screamed as she biotically blazed forward into the husks, her omni-blade a streak of orange as she sliced through them. Garrus was yelling something angrily in the com as a massive shadow loomed over her. She looked up. Hovering above her was a giant techno bug covered in writhing husk faces. There was a change in air pressure around it, and a humming sound grew louder.

Shiiiit!

Shepard threw herself to the side just as a beam burst out of the creature. It singed the grass and vaporized the husks and scions around where she had been standing. Wow, so much for preserving her body. She tried to roll as it swiveled its head towards her, but a crawling husk had her legs pinned. Jack and Garrus were screaming in her helmet. The beam went off and all the Commander could do was throw glowing arms up in front of herself.

She blinked. The smell of burning ozone was strong as she sucked in. Her shield alarm was piercingly loud, but she was alive! Her armor was smoking, but she jumped to her feet and dove for cover.

Jack was behind the crates, panting. "Holy shit, Shep! You just shielded yourself!"

"Is that what happened?" The soldier was checking her ablative plates as her suit recharged. She could hear Garrus's shots and the beam noise again.

The biotic stood to unleash her shotgun and powers on the large bug. "Yeah, it looked like it."

As Shepard peeked back over the boxes, a concussion grenade went off and brought the thing out of the air.

"You mean it looked completely stupid. Since when do you just charge a full-blown horde, Shepard?" Garrus replied.

The N7 pulled her SMG to waylay the downed creature. All three were hammering it with gunfire and incendiary rounds.

"Now, now, Vakarian, I'll only be accepting constructive criticism if my charging gets me killed."

He was unusually quiet. Normally there would be a witty comeback. Instead, he threw another grenade just as the thing was struggling to lift back into the air. After another volley from the three, it stayed down. Jack and Garrus moved opposites along the perimeter of the battlefield, flushing out the stragglers while Shepard bent to catch her breath and examine the large mechanical bug.

Finally, the GUARDIAN lasers ignited, lighting up the gargantuan Collector ship. It took just a few crippling blasts before blazing engines came on to burn the atmosphere. The hot wind of its liftoff swirled around the three Normandy crew.

"Approximately one third of the colonists are onboard the Collector vessel, Shepard," EDI's smooth tone rang over the communication line

"Thank you, EDI. Joker, once the Collector vessel is clear of the system, send the shuttle back down with Mordin, Dr. Chakwas, and Miranda please. The people left will need help, and Mordin will want as many samples as he can get." She rolled a drone body over with her foot.

"Roger that, Commander." the pilot answered.

The man from the warehouse came running up as the ship disappeared from sight. "NO! Don't let them get away! They've got the entire colony on there!"

"We just killed hundreds of these bugs, what more do you want me to do? Put my Nikes on and run after it?" Shepard took her helmet off and picked up a long beam weapon a drone had dropped.

"Half the colony was in there! They even took Lilith!" He continued ranting.

Jack came jogging up. "HEY, if it weren't for us and Shepard, every one of you would be on that thing."

The man swiveled to look at her. "Shepard? I know that name… you are some big Alliance hero."

A familiar voice caused her to snap her head up. "She is Commander Shepard, Captain of the Normandy, first Human Spector, and the Savior of the Citadel. You are in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost."

Kaiden.

Despite the dubious circumstances of his presence, the relief she felt that he was alive was palpable. There he stood with a ring of Alliance soldiers behind him. He didn't look any different from the last time she had seen him, disappearing behind an emergency pod door.

"All the good people taken, and you get left behind. Figures. I'm done with you Alliance types." The man took his hat off as he walked away. Kaiden watched him for a moment before moving uncomfortably close. He put a hand out to her elbow and immediately tugged her into a crushing hug.

"Shepard… I thought… you were dead. We all did." He didn't sound heartbroken like Garrus had, he seemed a bit... upset? A few terse moments passed before he finally let go.

"Somehow, you don't seem happy to see me, Lieutenant." She took a wary half step back from him while eyeing the men behind him.

"Yeah, something is bothering me. I spent the last two years thinking you were dead! I was in love with you... it tore me apart! How... Why didn't you contact me? Couldn't you at least let me know you were alive?"

Shepard was so taken aback it felt like her head had spun around backwards. "Whether or not you believe me, I was spaced Kaiden! I wasn't off on a pleasure cruise. I woke up in a Cerberus lab! Dead people can't write emails. Your feelings were one sided. We spoke about it. I don't want or need you to push your shit onto me like I owe you anything!" The Commander stood as tall as she could, just slightly below his eye level, and jabbed him in the chest plate once for good measure.

He took a step backwards and his eyes flitted back and forth over her head. Garrus must be standing behind her again.

"Cerberus lab? You were an experiment?" She could nearly see the cogs turning in his head. The Normandy shuttle swooped in overhead and landed 60 ft away in the clearing near the starport. The soldiers raised their weapons.

"Whoa whoa they are with me, that shuttle came from my ship." Shepard brought up both of her hands and stood between the troops and her teammates. Kaiden motioned his men to lower their weapons. Mordin was the first out and made a beeline to a Collector body as if he hadn't even seen the soldiers. To her surprise, Miranda, Grunt, and Zaeed came next. The XO strode purposefully straight to her side as Chakwas disembarked, holding her med kit.

"Is there a problem here, Commander?" The Cerberus operative was staring the Lieutenant down. The Doctor walked up much more calmly.

"Lt. Alenko, surprising to see you here." Karin's accented voice didn't sound even remotely interested.

Kaiden was busy studying both women's uniforms and the shuttle's blatant Cerberus logo. He rotated to glower at Shepard. "You're with them. And you, Karin? Garrus, I'm not surprised - he'd follow even a clone of her to hell - but you? I can't believe it." Shepard felt like someone had punched her in the gut. He thought she was a clone.

"You arrogant bastard!" Garrus was in his face fast as lightning, hauling the LT up by his hard suit collar. The soldiers had their weapons up again. "It IS her and you are damn right I'll be backing her up, the last time I left, YOU let her die!"

Grunt, Zaeed, Miranda and even Jack stood up from the totes she was leaning against to pull weapons.

Shock was blatant on Kaiden's face for only a split second before his eyebrows drew together. He pulled his pistol on the growling Turian. "Oh, it's my fault now? You let Joker have it at the docks, now it's me, I hope Liara was next! You need to deal with your own guilt issues, Garrus."

"ENOUGH. I'm not here for this dick wagging contest!" Shepard pushed in between both men. "I'm here to stop the Collectors from rounding up every goddamn Human in the Terminus! I don't answer to Cerberus, and I don't give a fuck if it's Cerberus funding or Alliance funding, but at least the terrorist group is working to do SOMETHING to help these people! Those guns and your little pity marine team are the only movement the Alliance has made to care at all."

"I can't believe the reports were right," Kaiden muttered.

"You knew I'd be here. All of you were hiding, what? Watching me do what should be your dirty work for you? Can't even help your fellow Humans!" Shepard screamed at them.

"You've turned your back on everything we believed in Shepard! You've betrayed the Alliance... you've betrayed me." He kept his pistol trained on her chest.

"Oh that's a laugh, I've betrayed the Alliance?! I'm not sitting back watching people get kidnapped like you all just did! I hope you feel fucking ashamed! Get over yourself Kaiden. This is about more than Cerberus, you all saw it yourselves! The Collectors are kidnapping entire colonies, and they are working for the Reapers."

"How do you know Cerberus isn't using the Reapers to manipulate you? What if they are behind it? How did they know this colony was next? They could be the ones working for the Collectors!"

"Dammit Kaiden, you are so focused on Cerberus you're ignoring the actual threat!" Garrus' flanging voice sent vibrations through her back. She could feel the growl he spoke with.

"Look at his face, Garrus, he isn't here to listen. Why don't you just get on with what you are actually here for Kaiden?" The Commander spat.

"You've changed. But I still know where my loyalties lie. Commander Shepard, you are under arrest for treason, conspiracy, and desertion." The Lieutenant pulled out a set of omni cuffs.

Shepard laughed. "Under Alliance authority and not your own hurt feelings, I assume?" He just glared at her. "And what did they say about Council authority? I'm sure a reinstated Specter has free rein to ally with whoever she wants. How about I just let you and these boys leave alive to go back and tell the Admirals that even the Council is doing their job better than they are," she pulled her own pistol.

The entire group hesitated, all guns stayed out, waiting for orders.

"See reason, Kaiden. With Specter Authority, the Alliance doesn't have a leg to stand on and you know it. If they don't know yet, it's a simple mistake. If they do, then they are just trying to save face over their reluctant poster girl's alignments. Think about it. Why would they send you specifically? Shouldn't an N7 have been their first choice? They are betting on our connection making me cooperate without a scene."

"You know better than anyone that Specter's are not fool proof Shepard. They make mistakes. Sometimes big ones." He lowered his gun and his subordinates followed.

"Yeah? Well, find your proof of my heinous wrong doings, convince the Council of my guilt, become a Specter and come get me yourself, Kaiden," she turned away and sheathed her weapon. "Mordin, are you done?"

The Salarian's head popped up from behind the big mechanical bug. "Yes, Shepard."

"Let's get out of here, guys. I'm sick of this colony. We can leave the clean-up to the people who should do it. Sorry to waste your time, Doctor Chakwas." She started the walk back to the shuttle with her crew at her side.

"Oh, I don't think it was a waste." She motioned to Shepard's side where a long trail of blood went from her chest plate to nearly her knee.

The ride back was hushed except for Mordin and Chakwas' muttering about her injuries. Until Jack couldn't help herself anymore.

"Sooooo... who was Private Douchebag?"


Garrus had been asleep for almost twelve hours when Shepard pinged him to prepare for Horizon. His waking nightmares and exhaustion had made taking a second dose of painkillers sound like a lovely idea at the time. But now, he still couldn't keep his eyes open even after all that time. He knew he shouldn't have but he still had a small stash of stims in his armor… and he really didn't want to leave Shepard on his first available mission out. If he didn't watch her back who would, on an entire ship of Cerberus crewmen and mercenaries? Shepard had been in the med bay and dealing with the Illusive man since their return from Horizon, and he was in the darkness of his bunk. He couldn't stop his mind wandering and the whirlwind of emotions the uppers had left him with.

He didn't regret it at all, it was exactly the thing he needed to get himself going and it was a damn good thing he made that decision. He wasn't sure if it was her newfound biotic abilities or what, but he had never seen her charge into battle so recklessly. It was all he could do to keep anything off of her. His nerves were so frayed by the middle of the fight - the stim starting to wear off wasn't even an option. He'd taken a 2nd one. That was before the giant… husk… bug had come down on her. Spirits, he'd thought she was gone for sure as she laid there during that blast. In his mind's eye, all he could see was her small helpless form splayed on the ground...then that same small body suffocating alone in space. No. He was here this time, he wouldn't let it end the same way.

Stim induced rage and fear were already simmering just below his surface before Kaiden made an appearance… so blaming Kaiden for "letting" her die wasn't one of his finer moments. Sitting in his bunk, Garrus dropped his head into his palms. Damn, he had said something similar to Joker too, when the survivors made it back to the Citadel. He could still remember the pilot sitting at the docks, cradling his right arm and staring blankly ahead with red rimmed eyes. Garrus found out later that it had been Shepard who'd broken his arm hauling him to the escape pod. The one she never made it into.

He, Wrex, Tali, and Liara were some of the few outsiders allowed into Shepard's Alliance funeral. He had felt the pomp and circumstance of a human soldier's burial was a bit odd. Caskets and flags were quite a ways from Turian pyres and Spirit ceremonies. Humans seemed like masochists, they just left the body out for viewing? He found himself actually relieved her casket was empty since her body had not been recovered. The gun salute was chillingly similar though. It had been broadcast live across the galaxy and the number of Citadel civilians of all species that lined the halls of the station in solemn remembrance had been touching as the casket was paraded through the station to the docks to be buried on Earth. Anderson's grief had been real. Garrus knew they'd been close. The Council's involvement, however, had been just as bad as presenting your tongue to your superior. Wait, what did human's call it? 'A slap in the face'. That Tevos felt it was her place at all to say anything - especially since it had been her and Spartaus who had denounced Shepard as a panic inducing delusional who had merely misunderstood Saren's alignment with the Geth and the 'advanced Geth ship" that had attacked the Citadel on the Turian Specter's orders - had gotten under his plates something awful.

The badmouthing and downplaying of all of their work, HER work,in the months after her death made that year of pursuing Saren meaningless. The next celebrity scandal happened and life went back to normal. Nothing he nor her teammates said or did could bring any sense of urgency about the Reapers to light. He had failed her completely, hadn't been there when she'd been killed, hadn't been able to convince the galaxy that the Reapers were coming, and he watched her legacy crumble into dust.

His Specter training felt hollow and meaningless, so he quit. C-Sec had been even more of a useless noose after Shepard, so he'd left that too, to go back to Palaven to spend time with his family. Garrus's Mother, Lateia, had been ever her understanding self, a loving ear to complain to. His Father and sister however, couldn't understand his malcontent. Solana had really given it her all, but his Father, Castis, hadn't been happy to see him leave C-Sec to follow an erstwhile Specter in the first place. The man had always been controlling and opinionated, especially of his children. So even in his home, Garrus had remained an outcast… then the family began to notice his Mother's declining health. She received a diagnosis of Corpalis Syndrome, and nothing could be done.

Remorse, shame, and impotence in the face of death, politics, and disease drove him to Omega, a place he could actually accomplish some good and maybe regain some honor. He didn't go there with a suicide wish, but he admitted that if that was the result, then so be it. But Omega had only highlighted his failings and betrayed him, in the end.

Garrus felt scaldingly hot under his plates, like his very blood was circulating his anger. Remembering what the Council had done to Shepard, how he'd found out about her demise on the news like everyone else, Kaiden's words on Horizon, his mother's decline, Shepard's smoking armor after that beam, and Lantar Sidonis' last cowardly actions - it was all revolving furiously in his head. He was pacing across the battery, jaw aching. Taking twice what he should of his pain meds, a round in the cargo hold gym while they took effect, and hours of unconsciousness sounded lovely.