Pansy walked out of the Ministry's floo system and looked around to make sure no one she knew would see her. It was 10 AM; most people should be in their offices. She felt overwhelmed and embarrassed and was in no mood to answer the inevitable question, "what brings you here?" What brought her here today was irrational, illogical, and maddening.

For a week now, she had been hooking up with Harry Potter. Hooking up was not the correct term for it, though. She was hooked, addicted, obsessed. Every minute that she spent apart from him felt like she was breathing fire. Not that there had been that many minutes: he spent the week in her loft, even managed to be given desk work that he could bring to "work from home," though he barely managed to answer enough owls not to get suspended. Pansy had to increase the contract on the house-elves service she used to prepare her meals and clean because they seemed almost incapable of leaving the bed. It was not just that the sex was spectacular, but they both experienced real withdrawal symptoms on the couple of occasions that Harry had to go into his office.

Pansy quickly stepped into a lift, and the thing started moving. It stopped on a floor and called:

"Level two. Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Auror Headquarters. Have a nice day."

"This is not where I'm going," Pansy growled between ground teeth.

"Are you sure? I'm a sentient lift; this is where you want to be," the odious contraption countered.

"Department of Mysteries," she spat.

"If you say so," the lift answered.

When she finally arrived at the ninth level, Pansy sprinted toward the Division of Love's doors, entered without knocking, and closed the door. Before she could catch her breath, a dreamy voice greeted her.

"Hello, Pansy Parkinson."

Fuck. Seriously? Loony freaking Lovegood? Of course. Who else would have an explanation for this kind of crazy?

"Lovegood, good morning. I need a consultation. I'm, well, I have a, hmm, I'm kinda,"

"You are crazy in love. It is pretty obvious." when Pansy didn't reply, Luna gestured to a chair in front of her desk. "Have a seat. I know this kind of love can be troubling. It's worse than having wrackspurts in your brain."

Pansy had no idea what the heck was a wrackspurt, but she took the offered seat. Luna kept speaking, blasé as ever:

"Did you purposefully performed the bonding in a ceremony gone a bit overboard, or did it happen differently?"

"What?" Pansy asked, confused.

"How did the bonding happen?"

"Bonding?" Pansy was more stunned by the minute.

"Accidental then," Luna nodded, taking notes on a parchment.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Lovegood?" the Slytherin didn't mean to be rude, but she was running out of patience.

"Oh, you don't know," Luna answered calmly. "You are magically bonded with Harry Potter. Quite strongly, I may add. I have never seen a bond like this, nor I think there is any on record. It's probably because he is the most powerful wizard since Merlin."

Pansy blinked.

"How did you know it's Harry?"

"Your auras are now intertwined. His is standing behind you right now. I know his aura well; he's a good friend. It even has the outline of his messy hair." Pansy looked back, freaked out, but saw nothing. Luna kept talking. "So the bonding was accidental. Was it a sex act? Must have been a good one," the blonde witch added like it was regular small talk.

"Uhm, yes, I guess."

"And the connection took you by surprise, and now you feel like you can't breathe if he is not around?" Luna's eyes stayed on the parchment.

Pansy's eyes filled with tears.

"Yes. Harry came into the office today, and for a moment, I had a feeling that I could die."

"Of course, because you could," Luna added, eyes still on her notes.

"What?" Pansy stood like a coiled spring, tears now running down her cheeks.

"Oh, don't worry, Pansy, you will be safe once you are married. I can give you an urgent permit to expedite the license. You can be married in the next ten minutes."

The Slytherin was now flailing her arms and speaking very loud, all semblance of equilibrium gone to the dumps.

"How the fuck am I going to get married in the next ten minutes! That's, that's, how?"

"Harry should be here any minute," Luna answered, still taking notes. At that moment, there was a knock on the door. "Come in, Harry."

A very flustered Harry Potter walked in.

"Luna, why am I here? How am I here? I felt this irresistible pull to come here...Pansy?" he stopped talking and darted to hug his witch like she had been lost in the jungle for months.

Pansy melt in his arms, an enormous sense of relief washing over her.

"That's better," Luna commented. When the other two looked at her with a questioning look, she explained: "your auras are relieved to be back together, and the angry quivering is now settled. Now I just need you two to sign here, and we will use my report in lieu of the marriage license. This type of ceremony doesn't require witnesses, so we should be good to go."

Pansy's rational Slytherin brain told her that she should deny her desire to proceed with this crazy idea, but her magical core felt like she was being stabbed just to think about it. Instead, she managed to ask:

"Can you explain to us what happened?"

Luna smiled.

"You were two lost souls looking for your significant other. Both of you probably had strong barriers holding you back. Pansy, you were probably indoctrinated from childhood to be extremely guarded against wizards and to secure a marriage of convenience." The Slytherin tried to retort. Still, Luna continued, "but that's not your heart desire. You always wanted a love union. And Harry wants a bond like the one his parents had, but he also happens to be extremely powerful, so his intentions and needs make his magic borderline dangerous. His parents probably had an amazing sex life, but they were not as powerful as he is, so their bond may not have produced this kind of trouble."

"Please never mention my parent's sex life ever again," Harry said.

"But how I know," Pansy stopped midsentence, ashamed. Harry turned her face with a soft finger.

"I love you," he said with all certainty. "I didn't understand it because it was so sudden, but it makes perfect sense now. I will love you. Every day until the day I die."

If he had not been holding her, Pansy would have swooned. Instead, they kissed. Then they turned to look at Luna, who was now standing next to them holding up the parchment. They signed up.

"Now do you Harry Potter and Pansy Parkinson take each other as legitimate spouses, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish until death do you part?"

"I do," they both said at the same time before kissing again.

"Well, this was lovely. You should be calm and safe now. Harry, you should ask for a week off for your honeymoon so you can burn out the remaining raw sexual tension. After that, your intercourse should still be wonderful but without the risk of harm."

"Thank you, Lovegood," Pansy said, making a move to hug but refraining. Luna wrapped her arms around her.

"You're welcome. Now go, make my friend deliriously happy."

"I will. I promise."