This chapter contains a rather explicit sex scene that has been marked with asterisks (*) for those who wish to skip it. This is definitely the most dark mission across three games, so trigger warning for implied rape and just general wtf-evil-ness. Thanks for reading and I hope ya'll are having a good week 3
"That can't be right, my father was the first officer." Jacob ran a hand through his cropped locks. A drop of sweat slipped down the side of his jaw.
This planet was humid and hot, wrapped in dense foliage they'd had to hack through from their shuttle location to the wreck. Shepard leaned back, palm up to shade her eyes, to get a full view of the Hugo Gernsback. Its steep hull jutted into the sky from where it sat precariously on a cliff's edge overhanging a body of water.
The beacon VI answered him. "Ronald Taylor was promoted under emergency protocols."
"Where are the survivors?" Jacob asked with a tinge of irritation. She understood. If the damn VI said 'unscheduled sub orbital descent' one more time….
"The location of the remaining crew of the Hugo Gernsback is unknown. This beacon has been unattended for several maintenance cycles. Activation was triggered remotely after 8 years, 37 days and 7 hours by authority of acting Captain, Ronald Taylor. Pause was recorded as, record deleted." The program's holo image flickered ominously.
"God, he's alive." Shepard mumbled.
Tali sighed and placed a three fingered hand on the operative's shoulder. "Jacob… after what the VI said about the plants causing neural decay… he might not be the man you remember."
Jacob nodded. "Yeah… yeah, I get that. Let's go see if we can find anything inside the ship."
The few intelligible crew logs on the ship's remaining powered terminals sent chills up her spine. But that didn't even compare to what she was seeing now. They'd found one of the survivors, a woman about her age. She'd led them a ways across a field to an encampment of dilapidated huts made of sticks and skins. The only people left of the surviving crew were female… with a multitude of children. Everywhere she looked as she stepped through the knee high golden grass, a small set of eyes was peeking at her from a tent, or little feet were sent scurrying. The man's voice from the audio log on the ship was echoing over and over in her head. 'She was always sharp and angry, threatened to report me once. But now she is so… innocent. Blank. They all are. And that look she gives me when she smiles. What's the harm? We are gonna be here awhile.'
As Jacob came up behind her, many of the women fled to their tents.
"You have his face! He promised to call the sky, but he sends nothing." One shouted before retreating.
An older woman turned to the Commander. "He forced us to eat… to decay!" She pointed a finger at Jacob. "You are cursed with his face! Like the others."
Like the others. Shepard stood frozen as a little boy who looked exactly like Taylor, darted between the huts.
Tali's gasp was immediate. She'd seen him too.
"No. No, no, we didn't see eye to eye, sure, but he wasn't the kind of man that would force his crew to eat contaminated food." Jacob shook his head like he was more trying to convince himself.
The lump in her throat was choking her as she tried to speak. "Jacob… did you see that kid?" She pointed at the hut he'd disappeared into.
"This one too." Tali's voice was mournful as she motioned to another child, probably about six, who was hiding behind his Mother's legs.
Jacob's sharp inhalation said he saw.
"Go away! You are like him! You will keep us here!" Someone yelled.
"No, he keeps us, protects us, and we please him like he demands." Someone else murmured.
A swelling of bile crept up as dark thoughts consumed her consciousness. The neural decay caused by the food on this planet had reduced the crewmen to the mentality of children, but wasn't kind enough to go further. They knew. They knew and understood what he'd been doing to them. A dark skinned woman timidly approached as the three Normandy crew surveyed the camp.
"We've been waiting for the sky people to save us," She took a datapad from the toddler on her hip and handed it to Jacob. "We need the sky, please take us to the sky."
Jacob took the object and immediately began scrolling through it.
Tali spun on the ball of her foot. "Keelah, are those graves?" She spoke breathily as she pointed at the edge of the campground where stones were arranged rather purposefully.
Shepard forded the grass to take a closer look and sucked in a breath. Yes. That's exactly what they were. Some of them smaller than the rest. They still knew to respect their dead and bury them. She tore her eyes from them and forced herself to focus on their mission. "Jacob, what's that thing say?"
He had a hand on his forehead, his eyes wide as he scrolled. "Crew logs. Initially they needed to repair the beacon and reserved rations for officers needed for that. They repaired it, but after a year, every single male crew member is either dead or exiled. They separated out the women… and… assigned them to officers, like pets. Then within a week of the beacon being repaired, all the remaining officers are recorded dead. What he allowed here Shepard… I don't see any justification. Nine years… why wouldn't he set this right?!"
"Why would he, when he has his own personal harem in a tropical retirement? He sent the mechs after the men and he's calling now because the rations are finally running out. He doesn't want to become one of the drooling masses." Shepard spat.
Jacob's brows furrowed before he shook his head in disbelief. "Come on, we need to find this bastard."
It had been… completely fucked. Worse than a goddamn horror movie. Shepard still sat in the shuttle in her full gear, struggling to wrap her head around what had taken place nearly four hours ago. Never in her wildest dreams did she think they would find what they did.
The Hugo-Gernsback's commanding officers had purposefully given their crew the choice to starve or eat the local flora… Shepard dropped her head into her hands as the stale, recycled air of the Normandy pressed down on her. Ten years! TEN YEARS Jacob's father had trapped his crewmen on that God forsaken planet. And the only reason the evil bastard even sent the SOS was because his rations were running out. Jacob had been angry and ashamed, of course. The man deserved a hell of a lot worse said to him than what Jacob had said; he deserved to be dumped in a prison full of sexually deviant Vorcha for ten years. But Jacob had handed him his gun and let him salvage the one shred of dignity he could. The man ate a bullet.
Shepard stood and hurled her armor off her under suit as fast as she could. They should have gone as soon as he got that message! She'd personally left those women to suffer for weeks! While there was no way they could have anticipated survivors of a ten-year-old crash, that did little to assuage her raging guilt.
"Fuck!" she screamed.
All the faces she'd seen as she walked the encampment were replaying in her head. Their mental degradation had been severe, but they could still sort-of talk. Perhaps they could come back from it. But even if they could, what kind of mercy would that be? Maybe she should have put a bullet in everyone there. That was the only kindness she saw after all they'd been through. A few of those women were obviously pregnant… He'd still been raping them - all the way to the end he'd been insatiable, cruel, sadistic, and so selfish it was inhuman. She curled in on herself, clutching her knees to her chest. There'd been so many children….so many small faces peering out of the tents at her, of all ages. Some had been nearly teenagers. And the graves... how many women died in childbirth from a lack of medical care? Did that bastard care at all? No. The other women had buried their fallen, she was sure of it. So many little faces that looked so much like Jacob. She choked back a sob.
It was just like some backwards little barbaric religious colony you read about from centuries ago. It was the 2100s and Humans had achieved glorious space and racial diversity and had finally found tolerance for their fellow man! They'd spread colonies across the galaxy! They had come together so much, choosing to forsake their dark pasts… and yet. When left alone they were still just animals. No, worse. Worse than varren. Shame coursed through her veins. What she'd just witnessed had spat in the face of every accomplishment she had strived for. Humans shouldn't be allowed on the council, or as Spectres. Fuck, why did she even care if the Reapers came and annihilated them all? What was the point of saving anything capable of such monstrosity?
There was a tapping sound against the hull of the shuttle. Shepard raised her head from her knees. Thane. He was standing in the doorway, looking at her. What was with this guy? Did he have radar for her worst moments or what? She put her head back down; he didn't need to see The Butcher of Torfan near tears. The creaking of his leathers was audible as he sat next to her. They sat that way in the silence for a long time.
Eventually he spoke. "I overheard Miss Zorah confiding in Kasumi and Jack about what happened."
"Oh? Then you already know." Her speech wavered, and she paused for a few beats, trying to control her breathing. "That us Humans aren't worth saving. You should go comfort her, not me. In fact, all of you should get the hell off this ship and leave us to our own fucking problems."
"Siha, you don't mean that. All species have… outliers. All of us have our dark histories. None of us are particularly deserving as a whole."
"Thane, please. I don't need your holy preachy good guy shit. Just let me hate myself and my kind, okay? I just need a few days of hate and things can go back to normal." He touched her back. It was like pouring an accelerant on fire. Shepard jumped away so hard she bounced off the wall of the shuttle.
His expression changed for once. His eyes were wide, mouth slightly open. Shocked.
"Krios you son of a bitch! Leave me alone! What part of I don't deserve your kindness do you not get?!" Shit. She heard that slip of the tongue. She still tried to recover it. "We don't deserve your sympathy, your pro bono work, your skill, NOTHING! We deserve everything we get at the hands of the Reapers!"
"Siha. You haven't slept, you've barely eaten, you are under an extreme amount of stress - I can't just watch you go through this and leave you alone."
"You can shove this Siha business up your ass, Krios! I'm not anyone's protector, okay?! I'm just an angry woman who would let her own kind perish after what she just witnessed! Don't you understand that your kindness is poison?!" Shepard's voice cracked as she shrieked. "You didn't see how many children were there. You didn't see their faces… women heavy with child, the graves. You didn't hear them begging for the sky people to save them." Her eyes widened, and she continued in a whisper. "If you had, it would be one of my worst cruelties… you'd never be able to forget." She slid down the shuttle hull to a heap on the ground.
His heart tore. He had seen this coming. Watched her struggle and waste from the moment he stepped aboard. He saw what everyone else saw, of course too: how she blazed brightly on the battlefield. Arashu had crafted her, that much was clear. He'd just as easily seen her injuries, even the ones she tried to hide. He'd seen her war with herself far too many times. But who protects the protector? Perhaps Arashu intended for his last days to be spent in such service? Or perhaps that was too lofty. Maybe he was just a man entranced by the brightest star in the sky. Every cell in his being screamed for her. He bent and lifted her into his embrace, sitting back on his haunches. She didn't resist, just laid limply for a few beats before she wrapped her arms tightly around him and buried her face in his neck. Thane tucked an arm under her knees and stood to walk them to the lift. The ride up was impossibly quiet.
Inside her cabin, the lights didn't come up as they entered. The room remained lit by nothing but the blue glow of an empty fish tank. He carefully tapped down the stairs and suddenly her aversion to her cabin made sense. Tangled bedsheets adorned a mattress that didn't even smell like her. A meal bar sat abandoned on the coffee table, only two bites gone. Clothes were strewn about. It was obvious she spent as little time here as possible. He set her down on the bed, grabbed an empty cup from her dresser, and walked to the bathroom to get her some water. When he entered, the lights came on automatically to reveal a spider cracked mirror and dried blood droplets across the sink and on the floor leading out. He glanced back at her. She had moved to prop herself against the wall her bed was against. How long ago had she done this? He didn't remember her hands being injured. He filled the glass and strode back to her side, setting it on the nightstand and perching himself on the edge of her mattress.
Watching her caused a hollow, useless feeling inside of him. Just the presence of this feeling meant he was already invested more than he cared to admit. Dangerous. She was staring at both of her palms in her lap, and sat that way for some time before she finally spoke, so quietly he had to lean forward to hear.
"Thane." Her eyes were impossibly large. "What am I suffering, clawing, and fighting for? I don't even know I'm me…" she gasped quietly. "What if I'm still floating over Alchera, and this has all been oxygen starved synapse firing…"
He leaned towards her. "Shepard, you are alive, you are here with me." Emerald palms cupped her face. "I know you are having a crisis of faith, understandable after what you've seen… I can tell you why you fight but you need to remember it for yourself. And no matter what you think, even if I must tell you hundreds of times, you are worthy of kindness, mine or otherwise. You are not a robotic soldier. You don't have to force yourself to do it alone. You are a woman, a human, and if you need help ask."
"Thane, I appreciate what you are trying to do, but you just don't understand what you are saying," she sighed. "I am not the person you think I am… this is a weak, mentally unstable version of Shepard." She slid away from him and stood. "Commander Shepard was strong, un-breaking. She led with courage, her crewmen on the SR1 were her family. That Shepard suffocated and burned, and was buried with honor and respect." She moved to her dresser and started tugging the under suit off. "The Shepard that came back… she is scared… broken… her friends don't trust her or drug themselves out in the battery. And they shouldn't trust her. Who knows what Cerberus's endgame is here? What kind of pawn has she become? She is a shell that takes pills to sleep and can't keep her food down." She bent to pull the jumpsuit off of her feet, and the bones of her spine and ribs stuck out as if illustrating her point. She stayed in the crouch, wrapping her arms around her legs. "This Shepard is one that, without entirely pure reasons, would take your kindness, and grasp it like she was drowning."
Thane considered the back in front of him. She thought she was a different person, that somehow Cerberus had done something to her. A discordant union of body and soul explained much of her reactions. And that was certainly something a Drell could understand. Perhaps it wasn't an accident that he was here after all.
Buoyed, he crouched over her and wrapped his arms along her collar. "Drell believe that the body and the mind are separate. The body is a vessel of flesh that we accept is not always under our control. After Irikah… I entered into battle sleep. My soul paid no attention to what my body was doing. I took the Dantius commission because I had nothing left. Looking back now, I had resigned myself to death. I kept thinking I would fulfil my contract, and if Nassana's guards caught me afterwards, so be it. It would have been a good death. But someone else was pushing to reach the target first. Pushing me to move faster. Challenging me." He squeezed his arms around her. "You are the first friend I've made in ten years. I said my arm is yours, to whatever end we face. Even if you drown me with you, I'm already a dying man whose intentions are no more pure than yours." He brought her closer into his chest and lowered his voice. "So grasp, Siha."
Shepard turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his chest. Thane dropped his head and brushed his lips against the pulse of her neck. In her distress, her body's reaction was overplayed - biotics rippled across her open skin in response. In the soft light of her room it was easy to focus on his touch and use it to drag herself out of the deep spiral of dark thoughts she had been warring with internally. "Thane."
He had been feeling some trepidation in the face of their ill defined relationship - but when she whispered his name like that - like a reverent plea - Thane's self control stretched paper thin and his resolve hardened. It was simple; he had developed a tenderness for this slight but unyielding creature. And neither could deny the crackling licks of attraction between them since the moment they'd laid eyes on each other at Dantius Towers.
"Shepard, I have never felt affection for another species. I'm not entirely sure how to proceed." He was silenced by a soft mouth upon his own and hands on either side of his face.
"Just touch me," she murmured against his lips. Thane nodded, threading a hand through her hair to the back of her head and curled the other under her thigh. He pulled her into his lap bodily and tipped her head into his. She ran the tip of her tongue along the bifurcation of his lip and was rewarded with a raspy groan that opened him for her exploration. Drell teeth were relatively similar to Human, but it was her turn to suck in a breath when a split tongue rose to meet her, both tongue tips warring with her own. He didn't give her even a moment to appreciate that as the fist in her hair pulled her head to the side so he could delve deeper. Small fingers glided gingerly over his frill while he explored her mouth until Shepard gasped for air. He tipped his head back to give her more access to his neck, sliding his palms along the smooth warmth of Human skin. He closed his eyes, enjoying the raised bumps caused in his wake.
A lick at his frill while he was unfocused tore a sudden memory of Irikah from him - it played out over top Shepard disconcertingly and he yanked her back by the shoulders until it had passed. She was blinking quizzically at him when he next opened his eyes.
"I'm sorry Siha, it has been… a long time," The sadness in his tone caused a tightness in her chest.
"Don't be sorry, please tell me if something is uncomfortable." She sat back.
He reached forward and ran fused fingers through her long locks, his eyes searching her face. They remained like that for a few moments. "Siha, are you alright?" She was blinking a bit too slowly, pupils too big.
"Hmm? Why?" She considered for a beat. "Actually, it seems brighter in here," she turned to see the aquarium bathed in a halo of light. Hmm. She swiveled back to Thane and his coloring was intense for what had been the dim light of the tanks, a halo also surrounding him. "You are very green." She smiled.
It clicked. "Oh, my venom - Shepard, I should have warned you. Drell don't think about it amongst their own kind, but I should have realized it would affect you. I apologize." He pulled her back forward to plant a kiss on her cheek. "Don't worry, I've seen Humans drink Drell venom in cocktails. It's effects should be mild."
She leaned up on her knees and tipped his head back. "If you had addictive properties, you should have told me ages ago, we should have done this sooner." She smirked before crashing them back together, tongues diving into each other's depths. His palms found her ass and squeezed appreciatively, and she pulled her fingers from the ruffles at his neck to drag his hands up to her breasts. He clasped both, running his thumbs over the mounds, when he grazed over her nipples a wanton groan fell from her into his mouth. That reaction caused him to push both hands up under the material at her chest, pulling it up and over. He repeated his ministrations now on soft, warm skin, her noises of appreciation pushing him further.
Shepard leaned back with a sigh to give him better access, dragging her nails across the scales on the back of his head before guiding him to ravish her breasts with that interesting tongue. She busied her hands tracing the lines of his darker scales, until his digits wandered around the curve of her backside and slid forward along the fabric of her underwear, brazenly crossing her folds. The simple act sent a pulse of aching anticipation shivering up her spine, and a crackle of biotics roiled over her skin again. She pushed the coat from his shoulders to desperately search for the buckles of his skintex jumpsuit.
Thane chuckled, breath warming the saliva he'd left behind on her chest. "Patience, Siha."
"One of your virtues, not mine." Deciding a little motivation was in order, she lowered herself onto his lap and rolled her hips deliciously against the growing hardness of a thankfully familiar erection. The needy noise the action pulled from the assassin was exactly what she'd been hoping for, but she wasn't prepared for the electric jolt it would send to her core too. He fumbled a bit but quickly tore the suit down to his hips despite her renewed attention to his sensitive neck frill. She'd seen his chest before, but having it displayed and touchable was glorious. He was all muscle, sinew, and scale. Drell didn't have nipples or navels, but recognizable chest and abdominal muscles were present. In her venom influenced state he was even more striking than usual, a soft halo obscured her peripheral vision but the emerald and ruby of him was stark and bright. He had another red frill area just under his chest that ran a few inches down his sides that had called to her for inspection during their sparring sessions. Probing fingers were everywhere. Thane leaned back on his arms to savor the soft ministrations. Her touches traveled down over fluttering stomach muscles and he sucked in a breath as she glided over the taut v at his hips. His scales lessened here, giving a peek of the same emerald skin of his palms.
"Siha," he groaned as her hand stroked over his arousal. Hips lifted, and he hooked his thumbs into the skintex once more, to slowly drag the material over his pelvis and down.
So far Drell and Human were remarkably similar, but some things stood to remind her they were on a different evolutionary track. This was definitely something standing to remind her - he had two. The bifurcation continued here, with two fairly distinct phalluses stacked on top of one another encased together in verdant skin, fused like his middle digits. The red frill returned in small sections just on either side of the base. They both curved upwards, the underside one slightly shorter, both again had a rounded, bumpy head.
Thane's trepidation creeped back the longer she stared. She'd been touchy up until this point. He dragged a palm up her arm - that seemed to snap her out of it. "Is it… okay?"
The hesitation and lack of confidence in his tone made her smile. She could almost picture how he must have been as a child. A harsh difference from the smooth, sexy, extraordinarily competent person he normally was.
She reached down tentatively to trace his manhood, calculating in her head. Mmm, still close enough in size. It should work out. "Thane, you are gorgeous. If your sex appeal hasn't been useful to you on your hits, I'll be shocked."
He smirked at that. "It might have come up once or twice." The more sanguine tone came out a bit strangled as he held a breath while she touched him. He let her for a few moments. Then, he wrapped an arm around the small of her back and hauled her into his chest so he could pull her underwear down and off. She sat on her knees to give him a sublime full view. He stretched his hands over the hard muscles of her stomach, thumbs grazing the edge of a curious hole in the middle, before letting them glide down across the tops of her thighs, his thumbs just passing through a small patch of more red hair. She inhaled audibly as he neared the apex of her mound. He blinked, searching her face as he ran his thumb across a barely seen hooded nub and continued across her sex. Her heat and wetness radiated even out here, causing a stab of white-hot desire through his gut, tightening and twitching. Her eyes scrunched shut at the stimulation of the nub, so of course he had to slide his fused fingers back to front along her again before pressing a thumb pad into it. She startled and gasped - a sound that tore straight through his strained self control.
He pressed forefingers inside, testing, slow. Human women were well self lubricating - a revelation. She writhed forwards into him, encouraging him. He moved, curled, and reached, eliciting wondrous noises from a battle hardened warrior that sent licks of heat burning through every nerve ending he possessed. She rested her hands on his shoulders for support and bowed her head over his. He discovered a spot near the front of her that caused delicious muscles to shudder around his fingers. He withdrew, and meticulously worked her exterior again, while her hips bucked and thighs quivered. Humans were a marvel, their hide so soft, delicate, and sensitive to touch. Waves of bumps appeared and disappeared along its surface in response to him. His member strained and trembled at her sounds and scorching heat. He pushed his fused digits carefully in and wondered vaguely if this was really going to work - she stretched enticingly but… he reached again for that spot, this time with some force while his thumb rubbed a circle into her clit. His name stammered out of her lips and he was lost.
She clutched at his shoulders and pulled her legs up to drop herself onto his thighs, Shepard was at the end of her rope, but apparently so was he. Thane greedily grabbed her ass with both hands and ground her sweet warmth along his length, his hot breath on her collar.. Suddenly, supple tongue tips were at her nipple and he was guiding his heads up through her entrance. She angled forward to accept him. The odd dual heads seemed amazing at first, straight out of a sex toy ad. He thrusted shallowly, and she was quickly reminded this body was new again. The burning and stretching dragged her from the moment and crushed her with a boulder of out-of-body experience. She really wasn't the same person. At all. The thought was a shadowy figure that was always perched at a ledge, just itching to throw her over. No. Shepard steeled herself and focused her haloed gaze on Thane's verdant scales. Willing herself back to their carefree exploits.
Shepard used her grip on his shoulders to push herself down, down until he was fully hilted. Her hiss of pain as he sheathed hauled him from his reverie.
"Siha? Are you okay?" He pulled back from her neck to cradle her face, thumbs brushing along her cheeks. Her eyes were crushed closed, her heavy breaths perfectly in time with his own.
"Yeah...it's. Um. I'm just realizing I haven't really," she trailed off. He planted comforting kisses across open skin. "I haven't done this with this body before so… it's a bit painful, but give me a few minutes, I'll adjust."
His brow furrowed, unconvinced. But he nodded. She did sit still for a while, controlling her breathing. Finally, she clenched and unclenched experimentally. Yeah, not so bad. Thane groaned and leaned back on his arms, drinking in the sight of their joining.
She kept contracting her muscles, eventually moving on to wriggling herself on top of him. He sucked in breaths desperately, flexing his fingers, trying not to grab her hips and bury himself furiously into her pliant, hot flesh as she tried to adjust to him. He didn't want to rush her or hurt her. But maybe he could help. He leaned into her, gathering her to him. Again dual tongue tips searched across her breasts and his thumb found her clit, massaging delicate circles. She angled herself to pull upwards with her thighs and he cursed loudly. She moved just an inch before settling back down.
"Okay, I think it will be fine," she announced quietly and pulled his mouth back to hers before grinding down hard into him. It was his turn to hiss, and he grabbed her ass feverishly to respond in kind. She lifted herself on strong thighs, gliding lasciviously along his length. He matched her thrust for thrust, lifting her lithely at the hips. He'd wanted to go slowly, but her sweet heat pulsed around him so tightly he was sucked into her pace. He whispered her name like a chant into her chest. Shepard mischievously leaned backwards and planted her hands on his knees. She paused for a moment, before undulating her hips forward, legs splayed to rub along his length at a new angle, bared for his eyes.
Her previous dark thoughts were leaking through her pores, being slowly replaced with touch and pleasure. Electricity and biotics burned through every nerve, proving she was alive. Every shuddering movement, every twitch of him made it easier to believe she wasn't still floating through the void. Or perhaps made her care less if she was. Flushed, glistening, lips bumped along the veins of his cock deliciously, her head thrown back. He cursed again.
Before she could process what had happened, he toppled her and yanked her hips forward to rest on his thighs. He hovered above her on muscular arms, pushing her knees out to her sides. He thrust down deliberately and calmly. Stroke after agonizing stroke he bored twin shafts slowly through her folds. Shepard arched her back and cursed. Her release had been building steadily before the assassin had flipped them.
Now she was unable to get leverage enough in this position to move her hips to meet him and speed along the euphoric torture.
She groaned. "Thane, please."
He chuckled, continuing his pace languidly, enjoying the range of emotions on her face. He blinked, and abruptly he was inside a stone and glass structure, the sounds of waves lapping the beach outside. No. He was inside his home, his gaze moved from the large window down his own naked torso… under him was a body of citrine and gold… a familiar voice called his name and he came crashing back to reality.
"Thane?" she repeated, up on her elbows to scan his face. He'd just suddenly stopped entirely, mouth agape and breath held. He rocketed to his feet like he had seen a ghost.
He paced from the bed to the wall a few times. The memory kept pushing back, willing him to relive it. He couldn't let it overlay Irikah on Shepard like that. It wasn't fair to her. To either of them. He tried to calm his breathing and focus.
"Did I do something?" Shepard asked quietly.
The tone of her voice pulled something tight in his chest. "No, no, of course not Siha." He paused, wondering how much to say. "Even though I so desperately want this, want you… I'm not as ready as I should be."
Oh, bingo on the ghost business, she thought. The pained look on his face killed whatever questions her mind had been circulating in the venom mist.
The next thing she knew she was sitting alone, flushed and unblinking on her bed, unable to tear her eyes away from the bright halo around the aquarium. In her still dazed state, something inside her coiled darkly, telling her she wanted to cry. But Commander Shepard sure as hell didn't shed tears over men.
