Hello! The cook off is here! Have a grand 2021 and I hope this year goes a bit better for most of us than the last. The struggle has been real and intense but here we are, reading fanfiction about anime characters and I love that for us. Thank you all for reading, it really makes my day!
Stay healthy, safe, and well hydrated.
The cool air of the window unit did little to frost over the annoyance of sharing the same full-sized bed as another full grown man. Hiei woke in a state of irritation, firstly at Kurama for hogging the side of the bed facing the AC and secondly for the redhead being there at all. The hotel had allowed him a minuscule taste of freedom in this aspect and being thrust back into these unfortunate circumstances was just plain aggravating. Rolling his tongue he made a face and reached into his mouth to figure out what was bothering him so much only to pull out a length strand of crimson.
Disgusting.
The idiot's hair was everywhere. It was in the carpet, on the bed, clogging the drain of the shower and now in Hiei's mouth.
With half a mind to shave the other's head while they slept, Hiei got out of bed in a huff intentionally making more noise than necessary so that Kurama couldn't sleep either. He shoved the drawer of the dresser closed loudly after retrieving his clothes for the day. Sunday. That meant it was going to be a day of dealing with Victoria's family at Grams' home across the lake.
An agonizing prospect except it meant a ride on the boat and delicious food. Other than Ashland and Bethany, and for some reason Big Pop, no one would bother him anyway. That considered he chose a pair of jeans, one of the few that didn't boast stains from cutting lawns. Stripping out of his boxers he tossed them, wadded up, near the hamper but not quite into it. A simple white sleeveless shirt later and he was ready to face the day. Wearing white around Ashland was a gamble but he could always get someone to buy him a new shirt if he tried hard enough.
When he left the room he did close the door quietly, though it didn't save him from Kurama's ire as the redhead had already awoken to the sound of the drawers.
"He's such an infant sometimes." Kurama complained to himself, sitting up from his side of the bed with a glower. The frosty air from the window unit had worked wonders to allow him to sleep more soundly, especially with the human furnace sharing the mattress right next to him. It hadn't been able to fix Hiei's insomnia though. The man woke up sporadically through the night, every night, and would get out of bed. Come back to bed. Pace.
It was maddening.
All Kurama wanted, truly, was a full night's rest and—he tripped over Hiei's disregarded clothes and barely contained his outrage—to live with someone who wasn't such a degenerate slob! How many times?! How many times was he going to have to scold Hiei into picking up after himself? How many damn times?
Growing up in the wild was no excuse for his bad manners at this point.
This had to end.
Victoria replaced the phone into it's cradle just as Kurama stomped down the stairs, hair mussed from sleep, and a vicious glare coloring his expression. She lofted a single brow, glanced behind her to where Hiei was studiously making himself cereal, and then grabbed her coffee to move out the way. This was going to be either very good or very bad and either way she wanted to be the peanut gallery not a member of audience participation.
"Hiei, I have asked you countless times to put your dirty clothes in the hamper. Not on the floor where I can trip over them. The! Hamper!" Kurama threw a wad of fabric across the kitchen that hit the other man right between the shoulder blades.
Hiei spun around, catching the boxers before they hit the ground and without hesitation yeeted them back at the redhead, who batted them to side in a flurry. "It's too early for your bitching."
"You need to watch it!" Kurama yelled. "I have had it up to here with you! Just clean up after yourself, it's not that hard!"
"You shed like a fucking dog with mange and you're getting onto me? I almost choked on a hairball this morning because of you!"
Sighing at the sudden language change, Victoria wondered how subtle she could be about getting Google Translate involved. She'd been picking up Japanese a bit, and Kurama had the patience to help her, but they were moving too fast and using a lot of unfamiliar words. Context alone told her this was a fight though. Like, a real one.
"Guys, maybe lets take a moment. It's eight in the morning." She sipped her coffee from the wayside, knowing they hadn't heard her.
"I have a lot of hair, it's going to fall out. That's not my fault." Kurama hissed.
"Then fucking get rid of it." Hiei growled back. "Besides, I only refuse to put my clothes in the basket because you're such a harpy about it. You're not the fucking boss of me. You don't get to nag me like we're married."
"OH. Oh. That's how it's going to be?" Kurama pulled back in English, eyes wild as he started to move forward.
Hiei's feet slid apart slightly, his shoulders squaring and his chin dipped down.
"For fuck sake boys. Can you two stop?" Victoria demanded, getting annoyed herself with their loud asses. "I haven't even finished my first cup of coffee yet and you two are at each other's throats."
"You are such an ungrateful brat." Kurama threw the words at Hiei without bothering to switch back to Japanese. "All you do is take and take and get pissy when you're asked to be accountable!"
"What the fuck do I need to be grateful for? For having to share a bed with you? For you hogging all the AC? Or for how damn bossy and controlling you are about a space we both have to suffer in? You don't even clean the drain when you're done showering!"
"Oh, like you're a joy to live with? All your stomping around in the middle of the night? Slamming drawers when I'm trying to sleep? And maybe my hair would break less if you didn't constantly use my special shampoos!"
"Get a silk pillowcase and get over it." Hiei stepped up to Kurama with a snarl. "Pretty boy."
Kurama shoved him back against the counter in his flash of anger, which sent Hiei over the edge. Victoria watched as a full on brawl started to unfold in her kitchen. Her words went unheeded and as they scuffled Hiei's hand hit the bowl of cereal sending it the floor with a crash. Milk, cocoa puffs and ceramic shards went everywhere and that was it. That was the last straw.
"Take it outside!" She screamed at them both. "You're not wrecking my damn house!"
"This doesn't concern you!" Kurama whirled around without thinking, his hot words flying out without pause or concern.
Victoria felt that cold calm hit her bones like an ice storm as she fixed him with her stare. "You need to straighten up and apologize right now."
Hiei released the fist he'd made in Kurama's shirt, stepping back as he recognized that strange look in her blue eyes. That eerie tinge to her voice. And this time Kurama definitely caught it too because a visible rod shot down his spine as he stared back. His anger drained from his face as he looked her over.
"I said apologize. And I mean now." She demanded, unblinking. "Y'all are giving me a goddamn headache and you've only been up for ten minutes. I want my apology. NOW."
"I'm sorry." Kurama swallowed after the words leapt through his lips. They hadn't really been his words, he knew, but they'd been ushered out by that unkind stare of hers. This was the compulsion Hiei had been worried about, he realized. The fact she'd used it on him was both unnerving and also a reality check. After he shook off the feeling he sighed. "I'm actually sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you."
She turned to Hiei who shrugged but did little else. Raising her eyebrows she tilted her head at him. Fine. I'll take it outside next time.
"That's not an apology." She warned him darkly. He sunk into his shoulders, looking away as he quickly signed that he was sorry. It looked painful. She didn't care. "Now, look at each other and make nice. We're going to Grams' today and I'm not going to have you two acting like fools over there. You're going to clean up this mess, together, and you're going to get along or you won't talk to each other. Do you understand me?"
"Yes." Kurama nodded as Hiei signed.
"Yes what?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Mop's in the closet. And you owe me a new bowl." She turned away from them so she could go upstairs. She paused before she put a foot on the first step, turning to assess them again. "Just for the record, I have a big surprise coming for you two today. But if you can't fucking get your minds right I'll put it on hold. Don't test me."
Then she was gone and they were left standing in the kitchen with milk between their toes and squishy cereal underfoot.
Hiei entered Grams' house from the bottom level, opening the sliding glass door without a smile before marching into the room. He made his way to the fridge and pulled out a cold can of beer before even bothering to greet anyone with a nod. The can was empty when Kurama and Victoria crossed the threshold and he let out a held breath before finally spinning to lift his chin to Big Pop by way of a 'hello'.
"You could have helped carry things." Kurama snarked at him, tired.
Hiei ignored him.
"Lover's quarrel?" Big Pop joked, his belly moving with his little laugh. Tanned skin aged him in a friendly way, speaking of his copious hours spent outdoors. He was sipping on his coffee in the kitchen watching as the others filed into the house. "Close the door. You're letting bugs in and cold air out."
Victoria closed the door unceremoniously before meeting his humored attention. "They're driving me insane. I'm going to drown them."
Hiei and Kurama both shot her dirty looks, which she met head on.
"Hey baby, how are you feeling?" Grams came down the stairs and walked over to Victoria to examine her face and arms. Dorian's handiwork had long healed, the bruises gone, the scrapes faded to nothing. "You look better."
"I had a nice recovery and then immediately had to deal with-"
"Brandon. Yes, I heard. How did that go?" The shorter woman ushered her granddaughter to the table so they could sit down and chat, leaving the boys to deal with the cooler they'd hauled in.
Kurama sighed heavily and began sifting through the contents. With a polite smile he turned to Big Pop. "May I borrow the kitchen? I promised Grams I'd cook something today and it requires a little prep work."
"Good luck." Big Pop refilled his coffee and left him to it, turning to Hiei with doubtful consideration. "You interested in watching the game?"
Hiei shrugged and followed him having little interest in anything. But he wanted to be in the kitchen less than he wanted to avoid socially interacting with the men of the family so he chose the lesser of the evils.
Kurama set to work, one ear on Victoria as she recanted the events of the week with Grams, explaining how himself and Hiei had come with her to face down the trickster Francis. He could practically feel the tension in the older woman when they reached the peak of the story, then the confusion at the ending. He could relate. It had been a very up-and-down experience for him too. A smile shaped his mouth, partially pride, when Victoria explained him placing the sigils.
"He's a natural. I think it's that diligent nature of his." She explained casually. "And Hiei, he has an immense amount of awareness about him. He could tell from the start that something incredibly wrong was going on."
"He reacted to Dorian's presence too. He's gifted, like you." Grams complimented.
"No, it's different. With some time and exposure I legitimately believe Hiei could be a powerful psychic. Kurama too, with some practice and learning he could harness a lot of power. Must be in their genes. In his world Hiei was already a powerful creature, he had a third eye and could use telepathy. Kurama's awareness and vast skill set lends to him being able to visualize much more aptly than the average person." Victoria nodded to herself, leaning back in her chair to study the ceiling. "They both have natural strengths and intuition."
"You were pretty good yourself, you know. I'm not hearing you mention that." Kurama remarked as his knife bit through the leaves of the cabbage he was chopping. Eyes on his careful work he spoke with warmth. "If it weren't for you and your attention to detail that trickster could have done serious harm to someone. You were quick on your feet too, protecting Hiei and myself. We may have latent talent but without your guidance it would be useless."
Her cheeks flushed with pink and she had a hard time stringing together a comment.
"What are you so flustered for?" Grams teased her, nudging her from across the table.
"Shut up! I am not." Victoria squawked. "I'm just bad at taking compliments!"
Grams and Kurama alike laughed at her expense, the frustrated energy of the earlier morning dying out with the sound. The front door opened on the level above them, the sound of further guests signaling the start of the Sunday festivities. Ashland was the first down the stairs, flying on light feet. She slid across the kitchen floor in her frilly white socks, the skirt of her powder pink bib dress flaring out around her. The scalloped collar of the white shirt underneath matched the edges of her short sleeves. Wild blond curls were barely contained by a set of pigtails held in place with bows matching her dress.
"How was Sunday School baby?" Grams asked her.
"Boring. But I got ice cream!" She declared.
"Yeah, I think see some chocolate on your face. Saving it for later?" Victoria teased her with a grin. "What did you learn today?"
"That God made turtles, even snapping ones."
"Right on. Hiei's in the den with Big Pop. They're watching the game so be quiet." Victoria gestured for the little girl to go be free just as her parents descended into the space. "And what did you two learn at church today?"
Bethany went to the fridge for a wine cooler before joining the other two women at the table. Sitting down she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and twisted the bottle open. "We didn't go. I dropped Ashland at Sunday School but we didn't go to service."
Her husband walked away, joining the others in the den. Victoria straightened in her chair waiting for the cousins to welcome themselves into the house before turning to her step-sister. "What do you mean you didn't go? Have you ever missed church?"
"Well, last weekend while we were there I didn't appreciate some of what the preacher was saying and when I expressed my concern he didn't like it. And my husband didn't exactly see the problem but he wasn't about to argue with me in front of the preacher. So I've decided that we're going to shop around for a more wholesome community to worship in." Bethany took a long drink of the artificially red beverage. Her eyes moved to Kurama as she pursed her lips and looked to Grams then Victoria then down at her bottle. "They just aren't the sort of Christians I want my daughter to grow up being."
"Well, Satanism is always there if you want to try something new." Victoria teased her.
"Thanks." Bethany snorted, rolling her eyes. "What is he doing in the kitchen?"
Victoria turned around to look at Kurama while he worked tirelessly to prepare his ingredients. Her lips curved into a warm smile. "He's aiming for the stars."
"That's not very supportive sounding." Kurama glanced her way pointedly. Then he shifted focus to Bethany. "I'm making food. Grams asked me to, if you recall."
"Wait, you're actually going through with that? You're either very foolish or very brave, and honestly even the latter makes you foolish in this fight." She stared at him, wide eyed.
"Tenacious if nothing else." Grams admired.
"I feel that keeps me in good company here." He spoke evenly, focused on the masterpiece coming together under his careful guidance.
"Just between us and the table, he has a real shot at this." Victoria stood up, stretching. Bethany and Grams both eyed her, equally surprised as she stole a piece of pork belly he was frying up. He slapped her hand gently, shooing her. With a grin she winked at the two women. "I'd prepare yourself for greatness. I've been watching him make this all week and he's mastered the craft. You've never had anything like it before in your life."
"Really now?" Grams tilted her head.
"Honest and true." Victoria turned and headed for the pool table filling space between the kitchen and the wall, heading the path toward the den. She racked up the balls, chalked her cue and started playing by herself.
"Can I play?" Ashland was there suddenly, nearly getting popped in her pretty little nose by an elbow when Victoria pulled back to line up a shot.
"Girl, I'm going to put a bell around your neck if you keep that up. I deal with that sneakiness enough from Hiei." She sighed. "Yes, you can play. Let's get the step stool."
"Ha, you need a stool. I can reach all on my own." Darren, one of the second cousins and as mouthy as any other eleven year old, shot the little girl a smug look.
"Being tall doesn't make you cool." Ashland told him with attitude, climbing the step stool to cock on hip out and look down on him as though she'd been practicing for this exact moment. Turning to Victoria she extended her hands. Darren huffed and walked around them to go outside with the older kids. "Stick please!"
"You're stripes." Victoria handed her a shorter cue with a smile. "And it's your turn. By the way Grams, what's on your menu today?"
"Well, in an effort to be welcoming to our boys here I decided to try my hand at a little Japanese cuisine."
That statement made Victoria's shot miss, causing her to barely knick the cue ball which rolled a whole half-inch before stopping. She stood up, looking from Kurama who had most certainly not been completely honest with her about this situation, and then back to her grandmother who gained confidence and energy from her alarm. "Pardon?"
"Oh yes." Grams beamed.
Because he could do so without Grams seeing, as he faced Victoria with his back to the other woman he dared her to doubt him with his eyes. The knife in his hand glinted as he moved it slightly in warning. The threat hung between them to the point that she suddenly recalled why he was one of her favorite all time anime characters. That ruthless, cunning energy when the need arose for it. She had never anticipated that a cooking showdown with her grandmother would be the cause for such skills but here they were. At least he understood that he was facing a worthy opponent, she guessed.
"Well, won't this be interesting. What did you make?" Victoria raised her brows, ignoring the fact that Ashland was cheating behind her by redoing her own missed shot.
"I wanted to sort of ease everyone into it. You know how they can be. So I made rice, easy enough, and I fried some in I think it's called Yawkee Onogiru."
"Yaki onigiri." Kurama corrected simply from his station of pouring the batter into the pan over the pork belly.
"Yes, that. And Onmyrisue."
"Omurice." He supplied again. Then he made a face before straightening his expression out so he could turn to look at her. "You made omurice ahead of time?"
"What? No, of course not. I made the fried rice ahead of time. I'll make the omelet once you're done." She told him sweetly. "It's not my first time in a kitchen sweetie. I know that no one likes cold eggs."
Hiei came into the kitchen, glancing around causing Kurama to pull back and the ladies to look him over with curiosity. "Did someone say yaki onigiri?"
"Yes. Grams is making some."
Hiei glanced at the woman, scrunched up his face in doubt and then rolled his eyes and went back the way he came muttering under his breath, "If I wanted mushy white-person rice I'd ask Victoria to cook."
"Listen here you little shit. I heard you. I don't understand a lot of Japanese but I know you're insulting me." She pointed a finger at him, eyes narrowed. He smirked back at her then retreated. She dropped her hand, pouted, and turned to Kurama for solace. "Was he making fun of my rice?"
"Victoria it was very bad." Kurama told her softly. "Genuinely inedible."
She clicked her tongue at him and huffed. A small hand patted her back gently. "It's okay auntie. Everyone makes mistakes."
Victoria closed her eyes, smiled at the little girl because it was the right thing to do, thanked her, and went back to playing pool with a five year old who cheated at every turn.
Kurama and Grams stood at the kitchen table, one on either side of it, as they stared each other down. Victoria and Hiei watched them, shoulder to shoulder, as they slid plates across the surface to one another.
"And here we are in the final moments of todays enthralling cook off. Veteran homemaker and cook, Grams presents her renditions of Japanese household favorites yaki onigiri and omurice to her competitor for tasting. Her young opponent and novice cook, Kurama, has brought an adapted version of his mother's okonomiyake to be judged." Victoria put on her best commentator voice as she filmed this momentous occasion. "Let's see what the two have to say about each other's dishes before they share them with the audience. Kurama, your opinion on Grams' first attempt at the food of your homeland?"
"Smells good. I'm sure she did great. The rice is nice and crisp, I know Hiei will enjoy that." He smiled but never took his eyes off the woman of the house.
"For those who need to know, does this newfound confidence in the kitchen mean I will have to cook less?" She pressed.
He rolled his eyes to her then. "Be serious please."
"Alright, Grams, what do you think? Smells good to me. How are you feeling?" Victoria spun to jut the camera at her grandmother.
"I'm confident in my cooking. Always have been, always will be. But it definitely looks like he tried, doesn't it?" A sweet smile under a pair of glowing blue eyes.
"Oh man, can you feel the tension in the room?" Victoria with her hand for the family to make some noise and they all did. Clapping, ooing and awing. "Moment of truth, let's go! Taste it, taste it, taste it!" The whole family started chanting with her as she slid two forks onto the table for them. "Look at this folks, they're going for it! They're really going for it! What will happen next? What will the verdict be? Did Grams master the art of omurice in a single attempt? Did Kurama manage to conquer yet another impossible task?!"
Kurama drug the fork sideways down the back of the omelet to watch it peel open and he blinked when it didn't. It unfolded, certainly, but there was no oozing of egg. He stared at it and then he laughed, genuinely and fully. "Grams, omurice is a soft omelet."
"Undercooked egg is bad for you." She told him, taken aback.
"Americans." He tisked and then gestured to his offering. He still tasted hers, for fairness. "For a western omelet over rice it's not bad though. You always make great omelets. And the fried rice is actually delicious."
She shot him a mean look then took a bite from his okonomiyake. At first she chewed slowly, and then she slammed her fork onto the table and pointed at him. "You have no business saying you can't cook you little liar. That's delicious!"
"Yoooooooo!" The younger cousins all yelled at once, bouncing around in excitement. "Yo he got Grams! Whhhhhaaaaattttt?"
Hiei walked over and stole a pyramid of grilled rice while everyone lost their minds, chuckling to himself. He shoulder checked Kurama with a smirk. "You know what to do."
Kurama did, indeed know what to do. And with the camera focused on him he set the fork down, opened his hands wide to encompass the meal and said, with all the smug satisfaction in his heart and soul, "Itadakimasu boys."
Victoria lost her mind with laughter.
Thanks to Grams' endorsement there wasn't a shred of cabbage left on a plate, much less a crumb of okonomiyake. Kurama was still glowing when they brought the boat back along the dock, Hiei hopping out to wind the tether around the first cleat before Victoria could even cut the engine.
"Who is that?" Kurama asked, stepping onto the wood, eyes glued to a figure waiting by the back porch.
Hiei stood up slowly, eyes narrowed and body instantly ready for a fight. Victoria put a hand on his shoulders and squeezed, massaging the tight muscles to loosen him up. "Down buddy, that guy is here with your present. Don't get me wrong, he's a prick and I dislike him greatly but we need him for a few more minutes."
Crimson eyes looked over his shoulder toward her but when she nodded to reassure him he shrugged out of her hands and pretended it had been his idea to calm down.
She squeezed between the two men to strut her way up to the man who glowered at her. When she got to close he held a hand out to keep her back.
"I don't want any of that weird shit near me. You can stay over there." He informed her roughly.
"If a phone line didn't keep you safe why would four feet do the trick?" She asked him with a smile that was all venom and no love. "I've got the money inside. Pull it around and park it over there so it's not an eyesore from the road."
"I've done enough."
She stared at him, the smile slipping and losing any fraction of friendliness it was meant to replicate. He stared back then swore and walked back around the house. The sound of an engine roaring to life made Hiei and Kurama both wrinkle their noses as they followed her inside. Victoria walked into the kitchen, opened the freezer and pulled a ziplock out of the ice bin. Opening it she pulled out a thick white envelope then proceeded back outside.
"Watch the grass, dammit!" She hollered. "I swear to god, Payton!"
"Man, shut up. You're so fucking bossy." The man yelled back.
Hiei looked to Kurama with a creased brow, demanding answers as Hank whined. The dog bumped Hiei's hand repeatedly until he finally allowed the lab mix to shove its head under his palm. Rubbing the dog's ears absently red eyes moved to the back door.
"Victoria?" Kurama called, moving to follow her back out onto the lawn and then he stopped on the porch.
"Happy Sunday my boys!" She threw her arms wide as Kurama gawked at the trailer being unhitched at the edge of the property next to the tree line separating her from her neighbors. It lined up with the shed on the last lengths of flat ground before it all started to slope down toward the water.
It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen simply for what it meant for him, personally.
Hiei joined him and stared at the trailer then at Kurama. He watched as Victoria held the thick, cold envelope to the man who pulled bundles of cash out to count. Then he nodded, got into his truck and left without another word.
"I already bought a generator for it and had it delivered. It's been bug bombed and I made sure it was cleaned thoroughly before he brought it here. Keep the screens closed though, you don't want spiders and mosquitoes in there. It's not big but I thought, maybe, Hiei it would be nice for you to have your own space and Kurama agreed. So if you'd like it, it's here. A trailer all your own." She signed the words with a grin and Hiei watched her hands, looked at her face, and then at the trailer.
He took a few steps forward, signing, Mine? Seriously mine?
Yes.
When he got close enough he took the air from her lungs when his arms closed around her in a hug, squeezing so tight she wondered if this was actually an attempt to crack her ribs. The contact lasted longer than either of them seemed to expect it to, long enough for her to reciprocate. "You're welcome, Hiei."
He let her go, stepping back and then around her to examine the little dwelling that was suddenly all his. He opened the door, greeted immediately with the queen mattress tucked into the first corner. All his. There was a small kitchenette to his left, cabinets. A tiny stove top and sink. There was a little dinette across from there which meant his own table for his own food. From where he stood he could see the tiny bathroom. Again, all his. There was even a refrigerator. He turned and walked back out, staring at Victoria as though she might retract this offer.
"You like it?"
He nodded.
"Good, let's get the generator hooked up. It's gas powered so we'll need to keep fuel on hand for you. I made sure Payton filled up the holding take so you should have running water. We'll have to get the grey water tank cleaned out when it starts to get full but otherwise I think this will be a good fit."
Thank you.
He meant it. Every move of his fingers, he meant it.
You should thank Kurama too. When I told him I could do this he said you'd like the trailer more. I had a portable AC ordered too so you won't die of heat exhaustion out here. Victoria grinned for him and turned to Kurama. "Bet you two idiots feel real dumb for fighting this morning now."
"This is going to be an exciting change." Kurama allowed. To Hiei he smiled. "I hope this works out. If it doesn't I'll consider switching with you."
Hiei grinned, quick and fleeting before whirling around to admire his white and sea-foam green home. The silver letters of Shasta declared the brand on the side facing them, small and toward the front most part of the siding. He couldn't wait to sleep alone, windows open. He could even be naked if he wanted to, there would be no one to yell at him. The freedom. Tossing a pleased look with the words, he answered his friend.
"Not a chance in hell, K-drama. Not. A. Chance."
**The trailer model I'm using for reference here is the Shasta 18bh which is a pull-behind camper. It's pretty cute actually! It would kill me if I didn't mention that because I know I will forget and it will somehow be mentioned later and I'll crawl over myself trying to find this reference. 3
