There will be no update next Sunday or the one after for a little holiday break for the beta ( shepgarrus, go check her out on tumblr) and we can both play a little catch up and get this story into its best shape for you guys! Please stick with us, the story is complete, just going through lots of editing. Please enjoy this chapter as a little holiday present for you Shakarian lovers 3 (There is a little bit of sexual content preceded by asterisks and ended by asterisks*)
He moved through the relatively empty streets of the station's night cycle as nonchalantly as possible. As much as he didn't want any mercs on the station to realize Archangel was alive enough for revenge to be had, he didn't want anyone to connect him and Garrus Vakarian even more. Bringing trouble to the Normandy wherever it went was the last thing he needed, so for his one stop on Omega since the Kima shootout - it was in his partially ruined Archangel gear. Quick strides brought him to the street in front of Afterlife. If anyone knew where Shepard was - nice and easy - it was Aria. She wouldn't let a Spectre out of her sight. And with this armor, he might get in to see her.
The elcor bouncer merely glanced at him from the corner of his eye as he walked in the front doors. Down the long corridor and out onto the main tiered dance floor, Garrus weaved through the tangle of bodies, head whipping about, searching for familiar red-orange fringe. Nothing.
He approached one of Aria's cronies. "Let her know Archangel is here to make a deal."
The turian guard shuffled on his feet as minutes went by. Finally he waved him up to Aria's nest. The lackeys she had up here were fully decked out in the latest gear, a far cry better than the mix and match the hired help had on the lower floors. They stopped him just before the steps up to her loft.
The Pirate Queen herself walked up to the edge of the stairs to peer down at him. "Oh, I wondered how long it would be before you came after her."
"Where she is?" Garrus ground out. Spirits he didn't want to play her games.
"It's hard to keep the rumor perpetuated that you're dead if you are walking around here. She is already high up on the Blue Suns shit list. Not too far behind on Eclipse's either… you aren't helping." Aria crossed her arms.
The way she spoke sent an icy chill down his spine. "Is she safe?"
There was a long pause that creeped through his plates before Aria clicked her tongue. "Goddess, yes, she's fine. Relax, lover boy. You're lucky I still owe her for that info she sent me about the gangs." She lifted a data pad and began scrolling through it. "She's just downstairs, trying to piece her personality back together." Aria stepped out of sight with a smirk.
She was right where Aria said she was. The lower level of the club was darker, the music a notch quieter, the deeds seedier, the alcohol stronger. Shepard had her head propped on her palm, resting across the counter with her back towards him. Damn. If he'd just checked Afterlife out before assuming the worst and going to Aria, he could have avoided that whole encounter.
"Joker, I found her. Everything is fine. I imagine we will be delayed departing though," Garrus rumbled into his com.
"Roger that, thanks for telling me Garrus," the pilot responded.
He sighed and pulled his helmet off as he wove his way to his Commander. She didn't even register him as he moved up behind her.
Something was off. He leaned over her. "Shepard."
A familiar flanging voice called her name. She glanced up into Garrus's face before finishing whatever was in her glass. "Hmmm. Somehow I was expecting it to be Krios."
"Why?"
"Because, I figured the guilty party would be who showed up first." She turned on her stool to face him.
"And how do you know that was Krios?" He asked.
"Her head didn't explode," Shepard smirked and tugged on the cowl of his armor to drag him forward in between her knees.
He let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "And here I thought I was going to get a reaming, instead I'm getting flirting. How much have you had to drink?"
Shepard laughed. "You were with him?"
"Yes. And I don't blame him one bit, seeing what she did to you." He bent to rest palms on either side of her elbows on the bar.
Shepard exhaled. "I can admit when I'm wrong. It's good you both came. Thane was right to be that worried about Morinth." Her expression shifted, darkening. She pulled away from him and curled in on herself. "I don't even know how to describe it. Her manipulation and suggestion were so strong… you forget who you are. What you are doing… why you are doing it. Some small part of you realizes bad things are happening, but the other part of you desperately wants to let her kill you."
Garrus bent to touch his head to hers. "Hearing you say that… is hard, Shepard."
"I'm sorry. Sweet oblivion is tempting when you face the things we face." She smiled sadly. "I shook it off though, right before you both interfered." Shepard turned to place a lingering kiss on his good mandible.
"How did you manage that?" Movement caught his eye, and Garrus looked up to see the turian bartender wiping out glasses while side-eyeing them.
"When she touched me, it wasn't three fingers…" she whispered into his hide.
Her words sent a shiver of elation and need straight to his soul. "Shepard, really, how much have you had?"
"You realize I could want you without alcohol, right? Come on, Mr. Confidence. This Cerberus liver even blasted through Hallex." Shepard wrapped her arms around his muscular neck, exploring exposed skin with soft lips.
"She dosed you? Spirits, Shepard. It's a miracle you're alive," he murmured into her hair.
She nodded and set her head on his shoulder. "She was Samara's daughter."
"What? She killed her own daughter…"
"It wasn't her fault she was born as an Ardat-Yakshi. She didn't want to be a prisoner. I can't blame her. How many people have I killed?" Her arms tightened around him. "I can still feel her inside my brain, whispering, promising. Garrus, help me forget?" Small fingers smoothed up his neck, tracing the plates protecting the back of his head, moving up to scratch under his fringe.
Damn, he was far too easy. Revved up like an adolescent whenever she was involved. When he glanced up he caught the bartender doing a poor job of not staring. Again. Garrus looked at him, snaked out a long cobalt tongue, and laved the translucent skin of her neck. The needy noise she uttered made the bartender uncomfortable enough to look away. "As much as I want to do just that, I'm in full armor here, and we have a rather full audience. Let's go back to the Normandy?"
Shepard glanced around, taking in the other bar patrons and the bodies crammed onto the dance floor.
"Come on," she grabbed his arm and pulled him up the stairs.
They weaved through the crowd together, bass thumping and lights pulsing around them. Shepard dragged him up tiered steps to one of the end rooms bordering the dance floor. It was dark, and just big enough to house a booth and table with two free-floating chairs. She smacked the door control to close it behind them.
"Garrus, see if you can't lock that." She circled the room once.
He flicked open his omni-tool while eyeing the ceiling. "She's got to have cameras set up in these, you know." The holo lock changed from green to red.
"It's cute that you don't think the Normandy is the same way. If we did anything there, it'd just be a private show for Tim. I'd rather Aria sit right there and watch us," She pointed at the chair across the table. "Fair point." "We'll be fast, and there won't be all that much to see, anyway. Aria and a few of her goons can enjoy it for all I care." Her smile was mischievous and wide, small white teeth glowing in the pulsing light of the room.
Garrus sighed. "Does anyone tell you no?" He pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her.
"Oh sure. Sparatus does it all the time," she smirked.
"I guess it takes the absolute bravest of us to become the turian Councilor." He buried his head in the crook of her neck.
"Garrus." She tugged at his hip guard and tried to wriggle out of his grip.
His chuckle was deep in his chest. "Shepard, turians aren't well known for 'the quickie'." She gave him a deploring look, but he continued, undeterred. "Plates have to… shift out of the way."
She ducked under his elbow and hopped up on the table. "I've been revved up for hours, a quickie is going to work." She hooked a heel behind him and pulled him into her. "Wait… do you have any leftover antihistamines from Mordin?"
Damn. "No," he sighed. "But he said it was a mild reaction. I'll be fine."
She gave him a skeptical look.
"Really, the Normandy isn't that far away," he rumbled.
"Shame you didn't get an extra handful. Gloves off," she commanded.
He gave an amused flick of his mandible before complying. He'd had the same thought - but it's not like he realized on Tuchanka that this might become a regular occurrence.
Shepard exhaled a breath as he moved on to releasing seals. Her inability to hear his noises over the drumming music made her feel much more blind this go around then their encounter on Tuchanka. What had talking to him on the SR1 been like again? She'd been deaf to his emotions. As he wrestled with clasps, she pulled herself up into his neck. Lips and teeth explored while fingers gave the lightest touches behind a mandible, under fringe, across cowl.
A dual toned groan pushed her into overdrive. Shepard pulled one of his hands down under her dress to the junction of her thighs and he swept a finger pad along clothed folds. A hard shiver shot through her spine.
Her hand covered his, guiding him past her underwear. Shepard let out a wanton groan as a thumb pad rolled her clit, and Garrus felt his plates shift as he sank a knuckle into silky, hot depths. She raised her hips, sucking him in, and all that bluster about no quickies was immediately lost. Her nimble fingers dragged under his fringe at the same time her other hand worked a buckle on his under suit.
"Shepard," he growled. She yanked his cowl down and burned a trail with plush lips along the muscle under his bandage, sucking and tasting before flat teeth clamped down on his hide. Garrus gasped and snatched both her wrists away in alarm, struggling for breath. Spirits, that had unsheathed him. He wasn't just a bad turian,he was a terrible one.
"Garrus, please," Shepard whispered desperately, trying to wriggle free of his grasp.
The look on his face wasn't decipherable to her, but he dropped her wrists to tear through his waist guard and buckles in record speed. Suddenly she had hands at her hips - Garrus dragged her the last inch to the table lip and flipped her, and the surprised noise she made pulled a chuckle from him. To her credit though, Shepard never stayed phased. Two could play at that game.
She pushed herself backwards and found a welcome surprise she thought she would need to work harder for - he was more than ready to go. His length slid along her sex as she pushed her pelvis into him. She could barely touch the ground but used her toes for leverage to curl her back and glide him deliciously past her clit. He groaned a few curses that didn't translate.
She twisted to smirk at him over her shoulder. "I thought quickies weren't something you were known for?"
Garrus leaned down, pressing his keel armor into her back and pinned her arms to the table with his palms. "I was wrong," he rumbled into her skin before snapping his hips forward to bury himself in pliant depths.
Shepard rasped his name and all her smugness evaporated to leave nothing but burning feverish need. It crawled like lightning through every muscle in her body and sent charged biotics across her flesh. God, he was a tight fit. She bit her lip as he ground her into the table. She tried wriggling her arms free of his grip and when that didn't work, switched to curving her back to press into him harder, encouraging him to move.
What a sight she was, flaming hair splayed over her shoulders, bent over this table with his dick buried as deep as it could go in her trembling flesh. Garrus was enjoying her writhing, pumping shallowly. Until she changed tactics.
Shepard stilled and turned her head to glance back at him, panting. "Garrus."
Spirits, the broken, whimpering way she said his name... He pulled his hands from her wrists and grabbed her hips to set a hurried pace. He was trying to focus on anything that wasn't their slick noises, or her gasping moans, or the terrifyingly glorious way she fluttered and clenched around him as he hilted on each thrust. Impossible to do. He wouldn't last long at this rate.
"Shepard," he couldn't push the word out past his clenched teeth.
He bent forward to place a hand at their joining, slicking his length through his fingers, massaging her folds, searching for that hooded nub. He found it with a thumb pad and she cried out magnificently over thumping bass, the sound rushing him to the edge.
She got a knee up on the table and curled her back into his chest, wrapping arms around his neck while moving with him. Garrus snaked an arm across her middle, the other continuing his ministrations. Shepard came nearly instantly, every stretching stroke at this angle electric as he rolled her clit. The sweet release rippled biotics across her skin again and she came apart at the seams - gasping his name and thrashing against his armored keel.
She dragged him with her, clenching muscles gripping him tightly. Garrus collapsed forward over her, propped on an arm, and slammed in, riding out his pulsing orgasm while grinding his hips into her inviting depths as she spasmed around him. The dual toned groan that sounded from his throat sent shivers down her spine. Not being able to hear his sub-vocals over the music really was a shame. One unconventional thank you was owed to Miranda for the gift of being able to hear them at all.
It was a few minutes of stillness and heavy breathing as Garrus tried to gather the pieces of his dignity and coherent thought back together. He could not tear his eyes away from Shepard, arms curled under her chest and eyes closed in contentment. He bent forward again to bury his face in her neck and breathe her in. She giggled. Giggled. No matter what she said later, that was a special laugh, just for him. That now familiar tightening in his keel followed.
"Why do you do that?" She murmured.
"Do what?" Damn, did he always sound stupid?
"You smell me a lot. You even did it twice back on the SR1."
He considered for a second. "Maybe it's a turian thing. You smell like you, it's… familiar." He paused, then continued quietly, "It says you are real and you are here - proves that I'm not dreaming or hallucinating."
Shepard turned to glimpse his face but whatever expression was there wasn't readable.
"Come on, let's get out of here before we get thrown out," Garrus rumbled.
"Commander." EDI's unwelcome timbre dragged her from a fitful, half realized dream.
"EDI, I've been asleep for," she squinted into the blinding light of her omni-tool. "Fucking hell, only two hours? Really?"
"I apologize, but we are receiving a high priority transmission from Arcturus Station," the A.I. replied. "I am forwarding it to your personal console."
Shit. Shit!
The soldier threw her sheets off and scrambled through piles of clothing on the floor, desperately looking for something to throw on that wasn't covered in Cerberus's overused logo. Ah. Hoodie. She tugged it on and ran up the stairs, nearly falling into her desk chair to smack the com on.
Admiral Hackett's grizzled, silvered face lit up the monitor. Years of practice in hiding her shock did her some good in this instance at least.
"Commander. Thank you for your time," he spoke gruffly, arms folded over his Alliance dress uniform.
Fuck. The Alliance wanting to talk? Now? Cold dread creeped along her stomach.
"I'll keep this brief. We have a deep cover operative in batarian space. Her name is Dr. Amanda Kenson. She recently reported evidence of an imminent Reaper invasion." Hackett shifted to sit up straighter.
What the entire fuck. Shepard stood and paced her office area once. Ha! What size balls would Hackett have to possess to come asking for help now!? She turned to face the screen again, crossing her arms. "So why call me," she spat. "I'm just a misinformed geth alarmist."
Hackett sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Look, I know what you are thinking, Commander -"
"Oh, do you? You know I'm thinking of cutting this off right here, right now? The Alliance has a lot of nerve to discredit and try to arrest a Council Spectre and then come crawling to her when they need her most! Go get your precious Alenko." Shepard let loose a bark of sardonic laughter.
Hackett took off his cap and leaned back in his chair to rub a hand through his thinning hair. "I know what they said about you, Commander. Not all of us agreed with the way they framed Sovereign. Quite a few of us, upper echelon included, believe you. Who do you think sent Dr. Kenson into this mess? And why would I do it if I didn't believe you, Shepard? I'm sorry you've gotten the raw side of the Alliance stick. It wouldn't have happened if I'd had a say. And as far as the Lieutenant is concerned," he smirked, the skin pulling tight around the massive scar that ran over one cheek and across his nose. "He isn't an N7. And he sure as hell isn't you. This will require the Butcher's resolve and Commander Shepard's… discrete skills." The Admiral steepled his fingers.
Shepard paced the office again, chewing on the inside of her cheek. Shit. Shit shit shit. She should hang up on him. She could feel the dog tags Liara had given to her, hanging about her neck and tucked down into her bra. Shit.
Against her better judgement, she whirled around to face him again. "Flattery will apparently get you everywhere, Hackett. What's the job."
"Just this morning I received word that the batarians arrested her. They are holding her in a secret outpost on terrorism charges. I need you to infiltrate the prison and get her out of there as soon as possible. As a favor to me, I'm asking you to go in alone. We can't risk a diplomatic incident. Quiet is the only chance we have." The Admiral fixed his hat back to his head and leaned into the monitor again.
"What's she really doing out there?" Shepard drummed her fingers on her arm.
"She's a deep cover operative, Shepard. We only speak when absolutely necessary. Her last report said she was investigating rumors of a Reaper artifact."
"Fuck," she muttered.
Hackett nodded. "Yeah, same sentiment here. Dr. Kenson was the only one with the knowledge base and skill who was up to the task. She and I go way back, Shepard. I'm not going to leave her to be tortured and rot in a prison cell."
She scoffed. "Must be some proof she's got out there for you to crawl to me."
"I've known her a long time. If she found that artifact and tells me she thinks the Reapers are invading, that is all the proof I need. Plus, it'll clear your name, so that makes you the perfect candidate for this job. Someone with a personal stake."
She shouldn't. "Fine. I'll do it."
Damn traitorous mouth.
"Go in with the utmost discretion, or don't go in at all, Commander." Hackett slid his chair back from the screen and stood. "The prison is hidden underground at a batarian outpost on Aratoht. I'll forward the coordinates now. Once she is secure, confirm her discovery. You are the best authority after all. Once you're back, we will meet you for debrief and transport arrangements for Kenson. Hackett out." The screen winked out, plunging her quarters into darkness, the soft glow of the fish tank all that was left.
Shepard stood tall and still behind the co-pilot's chair as the planet came onto the view screen. Her armor had been meticulously scrubbed and coated freshly with a matte black ceramic, not even the white and red N7 stripe remained. Joker kept glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. Her long wild hair had been french-braided neatly down the middle of her head, like a mohawk. The steely expression on her face spoke volumes.
"It was an Alliance call, wasn't it?" he whispered.
Shepard snapped sharp eyes towards him. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Flight Lieutenant."
"Oh, come on, coordinates with no objective, matte paint, the angry look on your face? Alliance all the way. You can't kid a kidder, Shep," he spoke with uncharacteristic quietness.
"We're cloaked, correct? Everything looks good?" she barked.
"Yes, Commander."
She took one step and leaned over his chair. "I updated my will. It's encrypted on my personal terminal." She breathed quietly near his ear. "Whatever happens, the crew's lives take priority over my own. You know that. If I say bug out, you do it. If you don't hear from me, you bug out. Once I'm off, take her out into the black, a few systems over. I will have strict radio silence, you won't be able to contact me. Set your watch for 72 hours. If I don't come back…" she paused. "Miri becomes the de facto leader and the mission moves on. The rest won't want to follow her, but they will follow Garrus. He might need to stand up and take the role from her. Let him know that's what I hope he'll do. I've trained you all well. You know what to do. Prepare to release the shuttle." She stood and swung around to face the CIC.
The distressed look he gave her as he grabbed her hand made her turn back with a smile and pull his cap down over his face. "Don't give me that face Jeff, I'll be back before you know it."
It was the quiet engines that set him off first. Garrus crawled out from under the Thannix and closed the service panel he'd been working inside. He blinked, trying to recall when they'd last been moving… perhaps a day? Hm. Odd, and no one had been called for ground work? He traipsed outside the battery to the mess hall. A few odd shift crewmen were eating and flitting back and forth from the crew quarters. He could see Dr. Chakwas typing at her console. Nothing seemed amiss, yet there was a restless dread wanting to crawl up his carapace.
He hit his com. "Everything okay down there, Tali?"
"Uh, yeah? I think so. Why, is something going on with the cannon?" The quarian answered.
"No. Nevermind, don't worry about it."
"If you are wondering why we're stopped, I imagine it has to do with why the shuttle has been gone since last cycle," she said matter-of-factly.
He sucked in a breath as his insides filled with anxiety. "EDI, where's Shepard?"
"Commander Shepard is not on the Normandy." The AI's calmness felt like a grinder on his plates.
"Where is she?"
"That information is classified, Operative Vakarian."
Classified? Suddenly there was a reek of Alliance on their ship. Memories of his time on the SR1 were flashing through his skull. "Are all ground team members otherwise accounted for?"
"Yes."
"Spirits." She'd left somewhere by herself.
"Garrus? She's gone isn't she?" Tali called over his headset. Damn, he didn't realize he'd left the channel open.
"EDI confirmed she isn't on the ship and everyone else is here. She took that shuttle alone."
Twenty four hours later and Garrus felt like every bone in his body was vibrating. He had originally decided to be calm - after all, she was a perfectly capable soldier and that was an understatement: She was one of the best. Then he tried to keep busy, but after many equations and a disastrous attempt to sleep in his addiction stomping grounds, he abandoned the main battery for his own good. The pull for a narcotic had made him consider if Chakwas would notice a bit of her stash was gone. That wasn't him.
He had to get out.
Joker leaned forward and tore his hat off in agitation. She'd lied. She never lied. It certainly wasn't "before he knew it" in fact, it was way after he knew it. The shuttle missing from the bay had been a glaringly obvious hole from the very second she left in it, so naturally every single person from the ground team had been up in his face asking questions he didn't know the answers to. Joker couldn't decide who had been worse, Jack or Miranda.
"I'm operating under the Commander's orders, Lawson. If you have a problem with that, you can take it up with her when she gets back. Last I checked, even the XO can't override the COs word," Joker said for the umpteenth time.
"EDI!" Miranda called in exasperation.
"I have told you all that I know, Operative Lawson. The Commander received an encrypted call and set course for these coordinates. We are to await further instructions from Commander Shepard, and if we do not hear from her in the next 48 hours, command of the Normandy will transfer to you." EDI responded with a tone that smacked of annoyance. Joker was beginning to like the AI.
"Well, how are we coming on the IFF at least?" Miranda huffed.
Joker pulled up readouts on his console. "Just about hooked up and ready to go."
EDI piped up again. "That is not entirely accurate, Mr. Moreau. I've had the device powered for some time, performing diagnostics. It is still causing instability in certain systems."
Miranda ran a hand over her dark hair. "We've been running full scans for weeks. EDI, at some point we may need to accept that we can never be one hundred percent sure." "I'm a hundred percent sure this is bullshit," Jack bit out from the corner of the cockpit where she stood in shadow, arms crossed. "Here we go again," Joker murmured under his breath. The XO whirled on the biotic. "No one gives a damn about your opinions," she spat. "I know how much you care about her, cheerleader." Jack jumped up and stuck a finger in Miranda's face. "Not a god damned bit! Joker, turn this piece of shit around and let me go after her!" The pilot let out a weary sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "What the hell is wrong with you people!? She is alone down there! RIGHT NOW! Taking it in the ass from a bunch of batarian scumbags - so who the fuck cares what orders she gave, this isn't the Alliance!" Jack howled, a crackle of biotics rippling across her skin. "This might not be an Alliance ship but I promise you I'm the XO for a reason, Zero." Miranda said warningly, her tone low. She let a wave of her own powers wash over her.
"Both of you can shut the fuck up and leave me alone. I'm more scared of Shepard than either of you, so we are staying parked right here. Go kill each other in the cargo bay," Joker snapped loudly, his voice echoing off the metal hull. God, yelling really wasn't his thing. At least it shut them both up. For a little bit.
Hours later, Joker decided that he was wrong. Jack's blow up and Miranda's ritual hissy fits at being parked weren't the most annoying thing. That award was going to Garrus, who every freaking hour or so found his way up to the bridge to pace around or sit in the co-pilot's seat.
"Still no word?" His voice reverberated in the small area.
"Nope," Joker sighed.
Garrus glanced at him. "You look terrible, Joker. You should get some sleep, I don't mind monitoring the coms for a while. Not that it's even really necessary with EDI around."
Joker stretched and leaned back. "Are you kidding, this chair is amazing. I never have to leave."
"Isn't that what started this whole mess?" He winced internally at his own tone of voice as Joker went rigid, fingers gripping his arm rests. "Sorry, my agitation isn't with you."
"Garrus, we're bros and all but I can't watch porn with you up here. Zaeed and the rest are getting Tali drunk and playing some Skyllian, go distract yourself."
Garrus clucked his tongue. "How exactly do I enjoy a round of Skyllian with even a suspicion that Shepard is dead somewhere? Again."
"Well, fine. You can watch porn with me while we both suspect Shepard is dead. Again." Joker pulled up the screen on his control panel.
"Alright, alright I get it," Garrus grumbled before leaving.
At ten hours to go, half the ground team was crammed in behind his chair, arguing. Tali, Jack, Zaeed, Kasumi, Jacob and Grunt were all talking over one another, while Legion stood off to the side in the gangway. Jack's voice bellowed over them all. "She left alone, Joker! You need to take us back to wherever she got off this pile of junk and let us go after her! We can't just leave her corpse on some shitty batarian world!"
Miranda stamped through the crowd and whistled loudly. Once the din quieted, she spoke. "We all want to know where the Commander is, but standing up here trying to bully Joker into disobeying her orders isn't becoming of us." She sighed and folded her arms. "Everyone suit up and meet in the cargo bay in an hour. That's an order." The XO strode off as quick as she'd come. There was some grumbling as the ground team members filed back out to the CIC, especially from Jack.
It took some time, but Miranda managed to get the entire ground team planet side on a habitable planet in the local system - with just the Hammerhead. And finally he could breathe in utter silence. Joker sat, anxiety building in his gut at every hour that ticked by. Monitoring nothing but static over the com channels was setting every nerve in his body on edge. Now and then he'd try to get some fitful shut eye or flip over to the ground team's coms to check in. Listening to Jack push all of Miranda's buttons was entertaining, at least.
EDI spoke up. "Mr. Moreau I'm still monitoring increasing activity from the IFF." What was this? About the 500th update?
"I'm telling you EDI, your readings are off, it's just radiation bleed, white noise." Joker tapped away some warnings she'd popped up on his console again.
"I am detecting a signal embedded in the static, we are transmitting the Normandy's location!" EDI interrupted urgently.
"What?! To who?" Joker pulled the AIs warnings back up to sift through the data. Proximity alarms began blaring through the cockpit as a ship outline appeared on RADAR. The pilot craned his head up through the viewport. The terrifyingly familiar silhouette of the Collector ship was blocking the light from the sun in the system, a large black mass haloed by the sun's rays. The Collectors had warped in right on top of them.
"SHIT! We are getting out of here!" the pilot yelled, frantically pulling up the ship's controls and typing in coordinates.
EDIs voice was far too calm, as usual. "There is a virus in the ship's computer, taking over systems. Propulsion systems are disabled."
"From the IFF? Shit, we scrubbed it over and over!" The SR2 jolted as the Collector vessel docked onto them. Joker looked over his shoulder to see the crewmen running to and fro, arming themselves from the armory. Their boots stomped loudly on the metallic floors.
"Primary defense systems are down, but we can still save the Normandy, Mr. Moreau. If you help me." EDI spoke quickly. The ship jolted twice more as the Collectors likely bullied their way through the cargo bay doors. Joker craned his head towards the CIC. The crewmen were lined up, weapons at the ready, facing the lift.
"Mr. Moreau! Give me the ship," EDI intoned sternly.
"What? Are you crazy?!" Joker yelped. "If you start singing Daisy Bell I'm done!" He bent to pull his rifle out from under his chair and assembled it with practiced speed.
"Unlock my sealed databases and I can initiate countermeasures. The maintenance shaft in the science lab will provide passage to the crew deck. Main corridors are no longer safe. The Collectors have boarded."
"Fuck!" Joker slammed a thermal clip into the gun and stood, limping as quickly as his bowed back and brittle legs would allow down the gangway into the CIC. He passed by the galaxy map, muttering curses under his breath, and into Mordin's lab as the lift dinged. The lab's doors closed behind him just as the shooting and screaming started. There was an inhuman screech that pulsed loudly through the room even with the door closed. Joker gingerly put his feet on the rungs of the ladder down to the AI core, but a dark shape dragged his gaze to the window that overlooked the engine room. It was one of those huge things Shepard had fought on Horizon.
"Holy Fuck EDI!" He closed his eyes against the creature and moved carefully down the small chute. Screams and howling echoed through the maintenance shaft. He dropped out the bottom, cursing his useless body as he hit the ground in life support.
Hawthorn was standing inside the door reloading his weapon. "Joker?! Those things are crawling all over this deck!"
"I know, but I've got to get to the AI core!" Joker said as commandingly as he could.
The man nodded. "I'll get you there Sir. Stay close." The crewman ran out ahead of him and rounded the corner towards the lift.
As Joker came around behind him, Chamber's screaming echoed through the crew deck. Around Hawthorn he could see a Collector dragging her by the hair into the lift.
"Go Joker!" Hawthorn pushed him along past the doors and towards the med bay. A grotesque scion lumbered around the other side of the lift wall and stuck a clawed hand straight through the crewman's shoulder. The man wailed miserably and the pilot could hear him emptying a clip into the creature as he reached the med bay doors.
EDI sounded harried. "Main fusion plant offline. Activating emergency H fuel cells."
Joker was murmuring to himself. "What the fuck is happening. This is shit I watch Shepard kill from the safety of her body cams, not shit I have to face down myself!" He stumbled across the clinic and passed through the AI core doors. "Okay EDI, I'm uh… at you. What do I do?"
"Connect the core to the Normandy's control module," she replied.
Joker pulled the panel off the main console and painfully bent to pull the main electrical harness apart. "Great, see this is where it all starts, and when we are all just organic batteries, they'll all blame me. 'This is all Joker's fault, what a tool he was. I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord!'" He finished re-arranging the cables and clipped in the last one. EDI's orb blinked out in a flash of static.
"EDI?" He called as he pulled himself to stand.
"I have access to the defensive systems. Thank you Mr. Moreau. Now you must reactivate the primary drive in engineering," the AI said.
"Agh, you want me to go crawling through the ducts again?" He limped over and jiggled open the hatch on the room's maintenance shaft.
"I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees," EDI said dryly. When Joker furrowed his brow in alarm she continued. "That was a joke."
He shook his head and lowered himself carefully down the ladder. "This is insane." The screaming of crewmen and the alien noises the Collectors made were beginning to quiet as he pulled himself through the ducts. He kicked out a panel and crawled out of an opening that deposited him in Jack's hidey-hole under engineering.
"Hostiles are still active on the engineering deck. Proceed with caution, Mr Moreau." The AIs voice echoed over the coms.
He crouched at the bottom of the stairs as a group of drones carted two pods by - Donnelly and Daniels, most likely. Joker closed his eyes. "Fuck, this isn't happening."
As soon as the aliens passed he crawled slowly up the stairs and turned left through the engineering doors. He peeked around the corner; nothing in sight. Joker moved up to Tali's console and began tapping on the haptic interface.
"Activate the drive and I will open all air locks to vent atmosphere as we accelerate. All hostiles will be killed." EDI spoke.
"What?! What about the crew?" Joker yelped.
"They are gone Jeff. The Collectors took them." EDI's tone was tinged with remorse.
Joker paused in his typing. "Shit," he sighed, hanging his head.
"I am sealing engineering. I have control." The Normandy jolted hard as it tore bodily from the Collector vessel, probably tearing through whatever gangway the Collectors had crafted between them. Joker was thrown to the ground as they accelerated to light speed. Minutes passed as he laid there blinking away his swimming vision. "Purge is complete. No other life forms aboard. Closing air locks," EDI said quietly.
Joker's vision was beginning to clear, but his heart was still palpitating. He lifted his arms; good, they were okay at least. He rubbed the heel of his hands gently into his eyes and took a few deep breaths before lifting his head from the floor. Oh, thank god, his neck wasn't broken. He rolled to his stomach and shakily picked himself up. A rib was definitely broken though, he gasped out and wrapped an arm around his injured side. Once he was standing he gingerly probed the back of his head. He sucked in a pained breath. Fractured skull? Probably.
"Jeff, do you require medical attention?" EDI inquired.
"Yeah, but I'm assuming Chakwas is gone." He closed his eyes against the reality of those words. God, the Doctor. Gone because of him.
EDI didn't answer immediately, hesitating. "Yes, Karin Chakwas is no longer aboard the Normandy."
Joker hobbled slowly from engineering. Guns and heat sinks littered the halls as he made his way back up to the cockpit, accompanied by the occasional smear of blue goo and red blood. He dropped into his chair, hands over his face. "Has there been anything from Shepard?"
"No, Jeff. I'm sorry." EDI's glowing orb popped up near his elbow.
He sighed, wiping his eyes. "Can you radio Miranda?"
"I already have. We will need to proceed back to the planet to pick up the Hammerhead."
"Fuck. Does the Collector ship show up on long range scans?"
"It does not. The ship has warped out of the system."
Joker nodded and brought up helm controls.
Miranda stormed into the med bay first. "You lost all of them!? Every single crewman and damn near lost the ship!?"
Tali was right on her heels. "Calm down Miranda, Joker saved the Normandy. It's not his fault. None of us caught it." She moved over and put a hand on his shoulder.
Miranda crossed her arms angrily as Jacob and Mordin came in next. The salarian went straight to scanning the pilot.
"Are you alright Joker?" Tali asked.
Mordin closed his omni-scanner and moved over to dig through drawers. "Basal closed skull fracture present, along with thoracic trauma of seventh rib on left side. Will administer pain medication and begin repair."
"I'm alright. EDI and I purged the systems, the IFF is online and ready to go now." The pilot fiddled with the hat he was holding. Mordin came back over to begin mending fractures.
"Don't even get me started on unshackling a damned AI," Miranda huffed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"And what was I supposed to do against Collectors? Huh? Break my arm at them? EDI cleared the ship. She's alright." Joker tried to rein in his anger.
"I assure you, Operative Lawson, I am still bound by protocols in my programming. Even if I were not, you are my crew mates," EDI defended herself.
"Besides, whose bright idea was it to take every fighter we have planet side, anyway," Joker grumbled.
"Say that again Moreau?!" Miranda's voice rose.
"Lay off Miranda. If EDI wanted to kill us all she's had plenty of opportunity to do it already," Jacob's calm timbre cut over her.
The door opened and Garrus jogged through. "Joker, are you okay?"
The pilot waved a hand and nodded.
"Long range coms are picking up a signal. Relaying," EDI piped up.
A garbled voice came over the com. "No...day, come in. C… ormandy! ...LEASE, JEFF!"
It was Shepard! A very distressed Shepard, but it was her! Everyone in the clinic looked at one another for a split second before Garrus tore out of the room ahead of a limping Joker.
Joker hit his chair in record time despite his injuries and Vroliks, clutching his side as he fumbled over the controls. "Come in, Shepard? We hear you! EDI can you clear this up?"
"Acknowledged," the AI said.
"Shepard, come in!" He glanced at Garrus, who was bent over the co-pilot's chair to read the communications pop up.
"Jeff! Oh thank god!" She sobbed. "EDI do you have a lock on my coordinates?"
"Yes, Commander."
"Jeff, fly like the wind," her words were frantic as the signal dropped.
"EDI? Are you serious?!" Joker leaned into the controls, frantically scrolling through calculations while steering with the other hand.
"Yes, calculating the asteroid's rate of speed and trajectory, it was originally the coordinates she gave. Shepard is on the asteroid. Collision imminent with the mass relay in three minutes. Scans show there is a facility located on it, with a shielded landing area on the surface."
"Right, that's probably where she'll be," Garrus muttered and craned to look up at the asteroid's rocky surface from the view port. The relay was enormous this close - its blue light blinding, lighting up the cockpit and glaring off the hurtling asteroid.
"Her comms must be down, I can't raise her," The pilot said agitatedly.
"There she is!" Garrus pointed to a small black dot at the very edge of a landing pad. "If you nose us up there, she can make the jump to the airlock."
Joker nodded and looked back down as Garrus punched the airlock controls and snapped his helmet down. As soon as depressurization completed, he cycled the outside doors open as Joker swung them down to her position. Shepard was laying with one leg out beside her, but pushed herself to her feet as they neared. She hobbled to the edge of the landing pad and threw herself at the ship with what little momentum she built, arms out towards Garrus. He stretched out the door and just barely caught her bicep.
The sniper dragged her up into his chest and wrapped his long arms securely around her back. "I've got her, go Joker!" The Normandy spun and blasted away from the asteroid so quickly that the inertial dampeners couldn't keep up. Shepard and Garrus were crushed into the bulkhead. As the airlock re-pressurized, her haggard breathing where her head rested on his keel was the only sound. As soon as the ship's trajectory allowed, she stood and snatched her helmet off, dropping it loudly onto the floor. She smacked the release, interrupting the decontamination cycle and turning on a multitude of screaming alarms as the door slid back.
Shepard shot out into the cockpit, holding herself steady on one leg with the back of Joker's chair. "Can you make it?" She said hoarsely.
"I didn't become your get-away driver for nothing Commander, already calculating," the pilot answered. Sure enough, mere moments later the relay grabbed the Normandy and accelerated them away.
Shepard hobbled to the slowly spinning galaxy map with Garrus right behind her. The Commander pushed unceremoniously past both Thane and Tali to call up the Bahak system. They watched the blue dot of the relay wink out, followed seconds later by the orange dots of the system's planets disappearing. Shepard's knees buckled and she let go of the handrail to sink to the floor, retching up a pathetic bit of bile. Tali bent to put a hand on her back.
"Let's get you to the med bay, Shepard," Garrus's reassuring dual tones enveloped her as he lifted her.
She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his neck. So it was only him who heard her desperate whisper.
"What have I done, Garrus."
