The soft lull of sleep.
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Chapter 12: I'm Fading
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The fire had gone out about an hour ago. All the fish had been eaten, though a fish smell did still pervade the place. Black Star didn't seem to mind though.
The two had made small talk, mostly cracking jokes or reminiscing about their time at the Academy. Kid got himself comfortable on a small mattress-like structure the Priest had given them. It was rough, and its seams looked about to come apart, but it was better than the cold hard stone of the Temple.
Kid had no idea how much time had passed and if they had talked the night away. Or at least Kid would like to imagine he could do so, but the more time passed the more tired he became, his mind slowing down and his eyelids becoming heavy.
Damn, so he was getting sleepy again. It was the first time he had experienced such a cycle since coming to existence and it was… disorienting. Not only that, but Kid also had no idea why he started feeling that way. In fact, Kid had found it easier to sleep while on this island, almost as if he was required to; however that didn't make sense. No matter what strange magic Atlantis was put under, Kid was a Grim Reaper. Mere magic tended to be ineffective on them.
Even stranger was that instead of Kid waking up with clarity as he was used to, his awakenings were disorienting, as if he was wretched away from a dream. He felt exhausted and his thoughts were scattered all over the place. Occasionally he would get flashes of the events that had happened the previous day, and among them would also be flashes of… 'old' memories. Memories that were the Grim Reaper's, but not Kid's.
Initially, Kid had tried to dismiss such feelings; the first night he and Black Star spent here, they had gone to sleep early and Kid hadn't noticed the effects. The second night, Kid had noticed that he was getting sleepy, but he had just had a fight with Black Star and hadn't paid it much attention.
Today though, when Kid was underwater… Water never had any effect on him and Kid had no idea why he had momentarily lost consciousness when diving and Black Star had to drag him out. Hell, Kid was assuming he had blacked out, because his memory of the time was muddled and faint like his awareness, as if he was peering into aforementioned 'old' memories.
It was also when Kid realised he had been feeling sleepy; the realisation, along with the building frustration led to another derailed argument with Black Star. Though Kid was glad they had managed to talk out what hopefully were most of their issues, Kid was still left with the mystery of what was happening to him in this mysterious island.
It was all rather… unnerving.
He hadn't told Black Star any of that. He saw no reason to. It would only worry him and confuse him. If Kid didn't know what was happening to himself, then who did?
Besides, Black Star hadn't said that Kid had done something weird at night and that was reassuring. The most Kid had to fear was him being unable to stand guard at night and risk being ambushed, but there didn't appear to be anyone who could pose a threat to them.
Yes, all they had to do was figure out a way to handle the Goddess, return to their world, and this strange sleeping patterns would be a thing of the past, a slight eccentricity of an area that would no longer exist. Kid would be back to normal and he wouldn't have to worry Black Star with his worries of being sleepy, of all things, along with the weird memories that came with his sleep (or even the creepy concept of such a type of memory to Black Star).
Next to Kid, Black Star, who had also made himself comfortable on the mattress, shifted and Kid felt him move away.
Kid turned only to see Black stretch and get up. "You're going away?"
"Yeah," Black Star said as he held back a yawn. "I mean, I don't wanna make it awkward by waking up with my foot on your face after the whole uh, 'talk' we had."
"Oh," Kid said, keeping his expression neutral though he very much felt like grimacing.
Truth be told, Kid had been thinking about Black Star's crush, just not in a conventional way. He was glad Black Star was understanding of Kid's feeling on the matter and appreciated Black Star for handling this in an unexpectedly mature way.
It was true that Kid held no romantic feelings for handling Black Star. However, it would be wrong to say that he saw Black Star as a typical friend, the same way he viewed Soul, Tsubaki, or even Maka. That wasn't to say that Kid didn't see value in so-called typical friendships; he loved his friends dearly and he was grateful for still being able to enjoy their companionship.
However, when it came to Black Star… Kid definitely didn't want things to back to the way they supposedly were, with Black Star simply declaring them rivals and then vanishing for a year. Yet even if Black Star didn't vanish this time and they interacted the same way they had before, that also wouldn't feel right.
"Wait." Kid caught Black Star's arm as he was about to walk away and Black Star looked back expectantly.
Kid paused with indecision. Problem was, Kid… didn't really have the words to describe what he wanted to say though. Kid wanted to make clear that it wasn't a romantic relationship as he didn't want Black Star to misunderstand him, but other than that…
"Did you get lonely?" Kid asked before he could stop himself. "When you were away?"
Black Star paused and looked away, his usual smile replaced by a thoughtful expression. "…Did you?" he eventually asked.
Well, that was pretty much a non-answer. Still, Kid was the one who brought it up, so he might as well answer first.
About loneliness… It was just rumours, but growing up, Kid had heard that Grim Reapers weren't supposed to get lonely. However, most such rumours were a hodgepodge of speculation that arose from a mix of pop-culture and growing up in a city not only used to Death's presence, but one where they held significant power.
Thing was, most of these rumours were easily debunked, with one example being that Grim Reapers couldn't cry; Kid had definitely cried when he was younger and Father, while not possessing actual tear ducts, could very much feel sorrow. Also Kid had cried that one time Liz had dragged them all to see The Fox and the Hound but he wasn't sure if that counted.
When it came to loneliness however, there hadn't been any sign Grim Reapers could get lonely, or at least one Kid had recognised. The only two acceptable points of reference Kid had had for such matters were himself and Father.
…Kid hadn't thought about Father getting lonely. They had never acted as such. But, the fact was that Father enjoyed Spirit's annoying presence, and they had overseen the founding of the Eight Great Warlords…
Maybe the rumour about Grim Reapers not being lonely came about because they couldn't be lonely when surrounded by everyone in Death City, acting both as leader and headmaster. From a simple citizen to their personal Deathscythe, Father was always in meetings or talks, or interacting with people in general. Even Kid, who growing up was relatively isolated from people, still interacted occasionally with Father's associates. Then he recruited Liz and Patty, had enrolled in the DWMA where he met everyone else including Black Star…
"I certainly can miss people," Kid eventually said.
"Yeah, me too," Black Star said shortly after.
The two stayed silent for a while.
"Liz and Patty are like family," Kid began, giving this another go. "And though I don't love Liz romantically, I do love her as a sibling. And I do believe something… similar can happen between us, if you wish so as well."
Black Star gave him a long look but didn't speak up.
"It's not romance. I want to make myself clear," Kid continued, not wanting to be misunderstood. "But I do enjoy spending time with you, even if you give me a heart attack at times," he muttered the last part. "And I do wish we were closer." Kid looked way with a pained smile. "I suppose, part of why I was so worried when you left was because I'd taken for granted I was able to see you any time and I did miss your company."
Black Star didn't answer immediately. He stayed silent and adopted a thoughtful look as he paced around the room. Kid watched him, arms folded on his lap. Well, no matter what Black Star answered, at least they would finally settle on… something.
Eventually, Black Star sniffed and Kid shot him a concerned look. "Are you feeling alright-?"
"Kid~!" Black Star exclaimed as he turned around and ran slow-motion towards Kid. He even had a wide goofy smile plastered on his face, and Kid was reminded of the very first day he had met him, as he and Soul dramatically ran to each other's arms.
Black Star's slow-motion run came to a halt, arms extended, when Kid didn't move due to his confusion. "Hey, you're supposed to shout back~"
"Oh, uh…" Kid awkwardly extended his arms. "Black Star..." He slowly said, extending the vowels with all the enthusiasm of a minimum wage worker. Would that do?
"Ugh," Black Star's goofy happy expression became a slight grimace, though there were still the hints of a smile. "At least you tried- Come here!"
Before Kid could react, Black Star had him in a rib-crushing hug. No seriously, Kid felt his ribcage shift as Black Star had apparently mistaken 'hugging' for 'strangulation but for torsos'. It was an honest mistake, as Kid sensed his soul pulse with affection.
Despite being unconventionally choked, Kid let out a laugh and hugged Black Star back, putting more pressure than usual to reciprocate the feeling.
They stayed like that for quite some time.
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Black Star was pretty sure his arms had gone numbs and that both his legs had fallen asleep some time ago. He wondered if Kid felt the same way too. Oh well, in any case Black Star wouldn't be the first one to let go of the hug, though Kid also showed no sign of breaking it.
"You're not letting go, are you?" Kid asked him eventually.
"Nope!" Black Star exclaimed with a grin. Then he whispered in Kid's ear: "First one to let go is a loser."
"Unbelievable," Kid muttered with mock indignation but smiled nonetheless.
Black Star gave him a grin, but the moment he did that a yawn bubbled up in his throat and he blinked rapidly, trying to shoo away the sleepiness.
Kid shifted in the embrace and Black Star heard him yawn as well. Then he became briefly very still before his hold went lax and he retracted one arm. "Ugh this…"
Black Star's hold went lax as well and he leaned back to get a better look at Kid. "What?"
Kid rubbed his eyes, looking down at himself with mild annoyance. "I'm getting tired," he said as if the very concept was foreign to him.
…Wait, actually the concept of getting sleepy was foreign to Kid, he had told Black Star as much their first night here. Hell, he had been unable to wake up Kid during their second night on the island, when…
"Uh… is that bad?" Black Star began, uncertain.
"I'll be fine," Kid said as he kept rubbing his eyes. "I just need to make myself comfortable." He eyed the lightless reaches of the Temple with an apprehensive smile. "Wouldn't want to accidentally wake up inside the pool."
Black Star couldn't help but remember an earlier event where Kid had acted strange. "Was it like that when you were in the water?"
Kid stilled again and Black Star hoped he hadn't accidentally said something insensitive or anything like that.
"…I'm not sure," Kid eventually answered. "But I don't think it's something we should worry about. I just…" He yawned again and covered his mouth, "need to get some rest, that's all."
Despite Kid's forced casual tone, Black Star remained unconvinced. He was sure something was up with the island that caused Kid to do that. The two bastards back at the village had said as much, something about the dead God, him being responsible for nights and some other nonsense.
However, Black Star bringing up what he knew about the 'aberrant' nights would mean retelling the Archiereus' plans for Kid …
And well, Kid had said he would be fine. Really, the only thing had done during night time was sleep his butt off and also accidentally drop like a log in the middle of the sea, but Kid didn't need to breathe so he would have been fine then as well…
Most importantly, none of that would matter once Kid and Black Star left Atlantis; all they had to do was kick the Goddess' butt, they'd return home and the matter would be forgotten of. Problem solved.
But in any case…
"I can keep watch," Black Star offered.
Kid shook his head. "You're the one that needs to sleep…"
"Ha! I've surpassed God, and don't you forget that!" Black Star exclaimed with a wide grin. "Sides I pulled off a lot of all-nighters for exams before; this is nothing!"
Kid rolled his eyes.
"And we'll be getting comfy!" Black Star continued, sitting down on the mattress and leaning back against the wall. As the mattress was against the wall, Black Star would just have to bunch some clothing to make a very rudimentary pillow so his back wasn't against cold stone. "Like a sleepover, but better."
Kid spent a few moments in silence, pondering Black Star's words. Upon receiving another goofy grin from yours truly, Kid let out a sigh and settled on the mattress next to Black Star. "If you're sure."
Black Star didn't have much time to ponder his triumph, Kid lay further down. He rested his head against Black Star's shoulder with half-lidded eyes, on account of the latter having hogged anything that could be used as a pillow.
This was… surprisingly tactile. Then again, considering how the Late Lord Death was fond of Reaper chops when dealing with annoying humans and also used to shower his son with awkward parental displays of affection, he supposed Kid had gotten used to not only receiving, but giving it as well.
In any case, it felt nice so Black Star like it. Most importantly though…
"I'm gonna be the big spoon," Black Star whispered triumphantly to himself. Ha, take that society with its expectation of short people-!
"What?" Kid mumbled.
"Nothing!" Black Star quickly said. "And don't worry, I'll keep an eye out if you sleepwalk or that creepy Priest shows up or anything."
Kid let out a small smile as he closed his eyes and shifted to himself more comfortable.
Satisfied, Black Star looked ahead at the darkness of the Temple apprehensively. It wasn't as if he was scared from the lack of light, or from someone hostile showing up; Black Star could and would kick anyone's ass to next Sunday.
Thing was, the most likely thing that would happen for the next who knows how many hours nothing would be. Black Star would be bored out of his mind, having nothing to do and also being unable to move in lieu of Kid using him as a pillow. Maybe once Kid was pretty soundly asleep he could carefully disentangle himself and start doing push-ups to pass the time.
Barely a few minutes had passed when a strange sensation became apparent to Black Star. There was a small pressure all around him as if he was underwater. It came and went in quick, barely perceptible waves, like a gentle but persistent vibration.
Black Star eyed the wall behind him, wondering if this was the Temple being weird again.
Soon however, he realized that the small vibrations he felt weren't physical per se, but spiritual. Was Black Star's soul doing something weird then? The only thing he could compare this feeling to was a relatively much less intensive version of when he would resonate with Tsubaki.
So this strange feeling was a Soul Resonance then? But with whom? Black Star didn't have Soul Perception -not that he needed to anyway- so he had no clue if there was anyone else here…
Black Star looked down at Kid, who despite his slight frown, had tangled his limbs to Black Star's, unnoticed. Yeah, if Black Star concentrated besides the strange pattern of vibrations, the feeling he got was the same when he was resonating with Kid in a Team Resonance.
However, this feeling was different than previous recollection of Resonance. Where a typical resonance would energise him and remind him Black Star could take on the world and win, this constant buzz was strangely calming. In fact it reminded Black Star of… purring.
Black Star looked down at Kid. "You sound like a cat."
Truth be told, he didn't think 'sound' was the correct sense to attribute to the spiritual buzzing. However, it did feel similar to that one time a stray cat had ventured in his room and sat on his lap, but this one reverberated across his soul and as a result, his body as well.
Kid shifted, and Black Star realised that he hadn't quite completely fallen asleep yet, though he was on the verge of it.
"Oh," Kid mumbled as he shifted and Black Star felt the vibration falter, the connection breaking. "Sorry, I didn't mean to, must have been-"
"Nah, it's cool," Black Star quickly said. "Just haven't felt that before. I like it," he added, sincere. A coward may have called it spooky but this was Kid, so it wasn't actually creepy. Just nice. Weird, but nice. Like Kid.
Black Star vaguely reminded Kid mentioning something along the lines of Grim Reapers being primarily spiritual beings. In that case, maybe that was just one of the ways Kid showed affection. Hell, if Black Star's guess was correct, Kid doing that must have meant that he felt comfortable Black Star, so it was a plus in his book.
"Thank you," Kid mumbled, his voice becoming lower by the second. "It's… less scary now…"
Kid went still, and Black Star would be worried had he not known that this was the norm for him. He was a bit more worried at the last thing Kid had said, but Black Star would also be off-put if he felt sleepy for no reason.
Yes, it would all be fine.
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An indeterminate amount of time had passed. The buzzing as stringer now. Black Star's eyelids felt heavy. He was pretty sure the buzzing was making him sleepy as well.
Black Star thought about shaking Kid in case that got him to stop but decided against it. He had surpassed God, so he wouldn't let a Grim Reaper to get him to sleep.
The buzzing was getting louder.
Maybe he should get up and do some exercise to get adrenaline going. However, Kid's hold on him was pretty firm, asleep of not.
Oh well, it wouldn't hurt… if… he…closed his eyes… just for a moment…
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Have some cuddles y'all, you're gonna need them for what's coming next :P
Feedback is appreciated.
