There is a rather explicit sex scene in this chapter, as previously there are some asterisks provided for those who wish to skip it. Please stick with me, lovely readers, as I continue this story through Me3 in Of Shallow Graves and Glorious Cinders. I will update this story with links when I start posting it - considering how long it took me to write this story, I imagine I'll start posting late this year. Thank you for the kind comments. 3
The Commander leaned back and heaved a sigh, digging knuckles into her eyelids. The glow of the desk console and the burbling, empty fish tank were the only sources of light in her room. She glanced at her omni-tool. Their time was nearly up, two minutes to go. Her negotiations with Anderson and Hackett had been shockingly brief - the arrangements for safe harbor at Illium through Liara had taken up nearly the entirety of Aria's time allotment.
Shepard hit her com. "How are we doing Tali?"
Her friend's melodic voice answered, "Wrapping up now. It's not perfect, but I've got what we need installed. I can finish the rest once we get underway."
"Good job Tali. Joker, take us out. EDI, gather everyone to the mess once we clear the relay."
Stepping out of the lift, Shepard was taken aback that the murmuring on the crew deck was so subdued despite the amount of bodies present. She threaded between crewmen then stepped up onto the center-most table in the mess. As soon as her boots touched the top the talking petered out completely.
"This is fucking bullshit Shepard."
She could really count on Jack to be the least respectful of the bunch. What she hadn't expected though, was the chorus of agreement that rose up afterwards.
"Okay, okay." The Commander held out her hands in a timeout motion. When that didn't bring order she sucked in a breath. "HEY!" she hollered over the noise. They quieted back down.
She continued in her normal tone. "I get it. Trust me, I've been dealing with this shitshow since well before the Battle of the Citadel. I know exactly how fucking stupid this is, but I just spent hours striking a deal with the Council and the Alliance. In exchange for my unconditional surrender and trial cooperation, I have bought immunity for everyone on board. None involved can be subpoenaed or indicted against me, none can be charged or tried as accessories for my crimes or Cerberus's crimes. Hell, they even offered you a job, Jack."
"No fucking way!" the biotic said, her eyebrows raised.
"The Alliance is looking for teachers. You came highly recommended. By me. " Shepard had to control her smile at the tattooed woman's gaping face of shock.
"We could go to Tuchanka, Shepard. You and I. Wrex would never let the Council or the Alliance get away with this witch hunt," Grunt's deep voice cut through the silence. He was standing near where Garrus was leaning on the wall. Suspicious. Had the sniper come up with that?
She turned towards him over the sea of heads. "I know. But what kind of friend would I be to put him in that position? That's choosing me over his people. All I'd do is put the krogan at war with the rest of the galaxy. You know we can't afford that with what's at stake."
Grunt opened his mouth to retort but thought for a moment and only nodded his head.
Shepard addressed the crewmen again. "I've secured us a stop at Illium to finish ship repairs. You may choose to depart the Normandy there, or at the Citadel. The Citadel will be the last stop before Earth. Now, obviously everyone needs to ditch the Cerberus fatigues if you haven't already. We make portfall at Nos Astra in about nine hours.
"Know that I appreciate every single one of you and what you've done. You were willing to die for what I believed in. Never before have I had the privilege of such a loyal crew. I am endlessly proud of all of you and what we've been through, proud of the lives we've saved. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much. It has been an honor to serve with you."
There was a round of clapping, whistling, and cheering. She stepped down off the table and into a tight crowd of hands and voices, calling and reaching.
Shepard's voice surged over the noise one last time. "I will be here in the mess for the next little bit for questions, goodbyes, drinks, and Skyllian!"
They were a rambunctious little crowd that night, fighting and arguing over hands.
"I swear to GOD! There is no way I've met an even bigger cheat than Jeff Moreau!" Shepard bemoaned loudly between gulps of alcohol.
"Just because people are better than you at Skyllian doesn't make us cheaters," Joker said with satisfaction and stuck a finger in her face. She mimed biting him but miscalculated spectacularly and actually bit him.
"AH! What the hell Shepard!?" He yanked his finger back and gathered the cards back up to shuffle.
Kasumi's laughter was raucous as she scooped her winnings from the center of the table to her spot. "Watch out, Shep's a dangerous sore loser."
"Hey he stuck that in my face, don't act surprised when I bite it off." Shepard said, playing it off as purposeful rather than admitting that the ryncol she'd brought back from Tuchanka was actually working wonders.
Zaeed bent over her to pour more bourbon into her glass. "If that's how you treat all your suitors you must have left a long trail of blood behind you girlie."
Shepard whirled around to face him, propping one foot on her chair and running a hand over his bicep. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Oh, dearly, love. Dearly," the old mercenary said, leaning into her advances.
Across the table, Thane glanced at Garrus's blank face from the corner of his eye.
They made eye contact but the turian merely shrugged as he organized his cards. "Just wait, you'll see."
"Oh fucking please. Gross! It's bad enough she put the image of her and the bird in my brain, now I've got to imagine your old wrinkly balls too?! Fuck off Zaeed!" Jack threw a handful of popcorn at the pair.
Grunt guffawed loudly.
The mercenary opened his mouth to retort but choked on a gasp instead as fingers creeped dangerously up the inside of his thigh. He snapped his head down but Shepard had already claimed her prize: the small flask he kept on his hip. She tipped the contents into her mouth before he could stop her.
Zaeed snatched the little flask out of her hands. "Bamboozled by broads! Do you know what stock that whisky was, devil woman?! GRUNT! See, this is what I was telling you! Never trust a woman!"
Grunt and Jack both were too busy laughing to listen though. The krogan laughed so hard he began coughing and the biotic thumped him hard on the back a few times. Tali, Hadley, Jacob, Jensen, Ken, and Gabby joined in.
Garrus flared his mandible and turned to Thane.
The assassin nodded. "I see."
Even Mordin was grinning ear to ear, glancing over his cards. "Extraordinary use of female wiles to beguile target. Could teach class."
"Thank you, thank you, now for my next trick I'm going to actually win a damn hand. Deal me in Joker." Shepard swished her drink around a few times.
Tali giggled, her speech pattern halting, thoroughly trashed already "Shepard, you don't have any more credits."
"Then share yours!" The Commander stood and snaked hands across the table to where the quarian was sitting next to Garrus.
She squealed loudly, pulled her stash in close and batted at the N7s hands. "Noooo Shepard I shared with you last time and you lost them to Kasumi! You need better...um… training on your poker face!"
"Rich coming from the lady in the helmet," she grumbled and sat back down.
Joker shuffled the cards, loudly snapping them together, then began dealing. "Do you have any collateral Commander?"
Shepard put on a pout and crinkled her brows. "Oh! Kasumi, do you still have that dress?"
The thief's eyes rounded. "NO! Shepard, I'm not going to let you put that in the pot!"
"I'm not going to put it in the pot! I'll wear it for the rest of the game, that's my bet this hand," she stated matter-of-factly and leaned back to sip her drink.
The room was quiet for a split second.
"I'm all in!" Kenneth announced.
Gabby rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "You haven't even seen your hand yet!"
Jenson and Hadley both threw credits into the middle of the table.
"Finally an excitin' round," Zaeed crowed.
"I'm all in to- too!" Tali stammered. Joker looked at her with his eyebrows raised. "What? I didn't get to see it in person like you did!"
Kasumi made a show of pushing some of her credit pile in front of Thane's tea cup, then poorly imitated him. "Green is her best color." She flicked some of the chits from it into the middle. The assassin fixed her with a look. "What? You act all suave and unaffected but I saw the way you stared at her ass, Sere Krios. Can't be mad at someone doing you favors."
He sighed and worked two fingers into his temple.
Garrus pushed a handful of chits into the pot at the same time Jack did. They both looked at each other.
"I see you space-raptor," Jack exclaimed.
"And I see you… ah… insane biotic pyjack," he shot back. Jack rolled her eyes hard.
Mordin pushed his credits in last, causing Garrus to lift his brow plates. "Professor?"
"Dr. Solus is a man of the arts. He appreciates beauty in all forms." Shepard tossed her hair arrogantly.
Garrus turned back to the salarian with skepticism written all over his mandibles.
The professor shrugged. "Not an incorrect assessment."
"Alright alright," Joker finished handing out the last of the cards. "Bets out people. Call or raise." There was a flurry of activity.
"Damn this was a great hand, wish I had something to raise with." Shepard leaned back with a sigh and finished her drink.
"You could play in that dress, sitting on someone's lap the rest of the night." Zaeed pointed at her.
"Ooooh hear that? The old man is confident! I raise," Jack exclaimed.
"I'd take your shotgun," Grunt muttered.
Shepard cradled her cards to her chest. "Not Winston! He's my baby!"
"Everyone blitz!" Joker called. Another flurry of activity as people passed cards to their left. "Final call."
Zaeed threw his hand down in frustration. At the end of the table,Jenson and Jacob folded too.
"That everyone? Wow okay. Lay 'em out!" The pilot carefully set his cards down.
Shepard threw hers haphazardly in front of her. "Read 'em 'n weep boys!"
"Kami-sama, she actually has a good hand!" Kasumi stood to get a better look at the cards.
Joker, Ken, Kasumi, and Jack all stood to take stock of who had the best cards. It was quite difficult to focus on what one person was saying in Shepard's very inebriated state, but honestly sitting back and listening to everyone have fun was as good as wrapping up in a warm blanket. They'd made it. All of them. And here they were, a great, big, weird family.
Shepard drew her legs up onto her chair, hugging her knees to her chest. She'd been trying all night not to dwell on how much she wanted to pause this moment in time. No Collectors, no Reapers, no tribunal, and no batarians.
She didn't want to admit it to herself, but hours of goodbyes to each of the departing crew members had been rough. Some had even shed tears - over her no less! These men and women had been willing to give their lives because they believed her that the Reapers were a threat. They weren't even Alliance, they just believed in her. Even Samara had decided that she had been in the right. A hardened Justicar had believed her about Aratoht, even when the Council and Alliance brass wouldn't.
Although being taken out by the hottest Asari she'd ever laid eyes on would have been preferable to what she was about to have to go through.
But it was nice finally feeling heard. Maybe she shouldn't have been so hard on Tim at the Collector base - after all, that man had believed in her so much he brought her back across the river Styx. Shame he was nutso.
Shepard glanced up and met Garrus's blue eyes across the table, his mandible wavering. Worried. Oh.
Don't worry, I'm just brooding. Shepard pasted a smile on.
A hand waved in front of her face. "Hellooooo, Earth to Commander Shepard!"
She bent her head back to lock eyes with Gabby and Kasumi standing over her. "I'm sorry but Commander Shepard is no longer accepting collect calls from Earth," she said, her speech a bit slurred.
The two women laughed. "No, we've got to get you up darling, to get you dressed for your final show!" Gabby patted her shoulder.
"Aw damn! Did I lose?!" She turned back to the table.
"Boy did you, Mordin and Hadley had better hands than you Shep." Joker pulled his hat off and ruffled his hair. "Now get to prancing for us!" His statement set off a chorus of whistling and catcalls that followed her, Gabby, and Kasumi all the way down the hall to the thief's quarters.
As soon as the door cycled open Shepard threw herself face first into the couch.
"Ahhh… okay I'm ready," she said, muffled by the cushions.
Gabby laughed. "What, are we supposed to get you dressed while you lie there like a slug?"
"Sure, that sounds lovely. I'll just take a quick nap," the Commander mumbled.
"Don't have girl time without me!" Tali's voice called from the doorway.
Kasumi pulled the dress out from a box under her bed. "We wouldn't dream of it Tali."
Tali plopped down next to her as Kasumi brought the dress over for inspection. The quarian's three fingers traced the delicate chains of the outfit. "It's lovely. I'm so jealous we don't get to wear things like this."
Gabby sat in a chair across from the couch. "Maybe it's better that way. You guys have the most fitted, attractive enviro suits I've ever seen. If the quarian's didn't have to wear them they'd be the fashion icons of the galaxy - then there'd be war between you and the asari!"
Tali giggled "You know, that's probably right."
Shepard stood with a huff, whipped off her hoodie and dragged her tank top over her head. "I agree, even enviro-suited, you were all stylish on the Flotilla. So many different wrap colors."
"It's easier to distinguish who is who that way. What families are which," the quarian explained.
Shepard dropped her sweats and yanked off her sports bra. Tali squealed loudly and put her hands over her visor.
"Geeze, Tali, how many times have you seen me naked?"
"I knoooow! It's just shocking when you act like you don't care, you just - rip it all off!" She peered through her fingers.
Shepard shimmied the dress over her head. "Well, whatever shame a person might have is stripped away lickety-split in the military. Communal showers and all."
Gabby nodded. "Not something a gal can afford to maintain in the Alliance."
Tali gasped, locking her fingers in tight again with another lilting giggle as Shepard stepped into the accompanying beige thong. The Commander poked her a few times in the side, eliciting more squeals from the drunken quarian.
"Okay, I'm ready." Shepard rubbed her arms. "I should have thought this through better, it's going to be cold."
"I'm sure Thane would volunteer to warm you up," Kasumi said with a grin.
Tali sucked in air dramatically. "What is all this Thane talk?! Did I miss something?"
"No, you didn't - Kasumi just has an active imagination." Shepard made for the door.
Gabby grabbed her arm as she tried to walk past."Not so fast! At least put on some eye shadow, it'll complete the fantasy."
"I'm just going to be sleeping soon. No point!" Shepard retorted.
Tali grabbed her other arm. "Pleaaase Shepard! I didn't get to see it!"
Shepard conceded with a long exasperated sigh and let the engineer push her back onto the couch. "Okay okay, fine. But only for you Tali. I can't stand when you give me those puppy dog eyes."
She giggled. "Shepard, you can't even see my eyes."
The Commander leaned over and pressed her forehead up against the quarian's face mask. "Sure I can - vaguely."
Gabby stood over her. "Lean back and close your eyes, I'll make it quick."
"My god, I just had flashbacks to my first boyfriend at basic," the N7 blurted.
Their chorus of laughter spilled down the hall.
"Thane's got a really sexy voice you know. Oh, and a really sexy everything else too." Kasumi's ever present hood didn't hide her mischievous grin.
"I thought you were a Jacob kind of girl?" Shepard intoned.
The thief laughed. "Have you seen his abs?! You should have made him spar with with you too."
"Abuse of power is only like, very first thing they teach you not to do in the Alliance." Shepard rolled her eyes.
Gabby paused and pulled a brush away from the Commander's face. "That fight between you two was great though. It was more hot and bothered than any romance novella." She fanned her face with her hand.
Shepard shifted uncomfortably. That wasn't anywhere near as 'hot and bothered' as it got either, but that definitely wasn't something she needed them finding out about - it had turned into a mistake anyway. She played with the chained hem of the dress.
Gabby smirked. "Hmmm… but Garrus's voice isn't bad either."
Tali shrieked loudly through her helmet modulator. "Keelah, finally someone said it! I would pay that man to recite anything from 'Fleet and Flotilla' to me!"
Kasumi picked up a book from her shelf. "Should I take this out there? They can read to us. We can pick once and for all who is better." The three women laughed.
The Commander shook her head. "Drunkenness doesn't agree with you ladies. Neither of them could even read that!" They all just laughed harder.
"Well, we have the extranet! It'd be worth it, imagine either one of those voices whispering sweet nothings to you." Gabby sighed.
Shit. Shepard could imagine - mostly because she didn't need to. That squirmy feeling of uncomfort rose again. "You all realize that Garrus can easily hear what you are saying right?"
Jack's voice boomed down the hall. "He said that was true, and us men are playing a round without you giggling harpies!"
Tali's screech probably echoed through the entire galactic quadrant they were in.
Grunt's rhythmic snoring from where he'd collapsed over the table was starting to become background noise. Many crew had gone to bed, leaving only a small group to look for redemption in Skyllian: Jack, Zaeed, Garrus, Thane, Tali, and Shepard were the last ones standing. Shepard yawned, trying to hide it behind her hoodie sleeve.
"The girl scout is going down over here boys." Jack smirked.
"Didn't I make it clear that that wasn't a good moniker for me?" Shepard leaned back and stretched.
"You put the hoodie on over that poor excuse for a dress. You'll be a girl scout till you take it off." The biotic threw two cards down.
"Jack, when are you going to just drop the bullshit and tell me you love this ass? No one will blame you, even I think it's pretty good. Miles better than the ass I used to have. You can even pay your compliments to the chef, she's asleep in her office." Shepard stood a chit up and flicked it - straight into Garrus's glass.
"Dear god, do not ever refer to Miranda as your ass chef ever again, I'm going to have nightmares!" The biotic pushed some chits into the middle of the table.
The turian sighed. "That has been touched by nearly everyone on the ship, Shepard." He fished the chit out with a gloved talon. "Also, that is patently untrue."
The Commander propped her chin on her hand. "What is?"
"It's not miles better than Shepard 1.0's ass," he rumbled matter-of-factly.
Jack sucked in a loud breath. "Oh my god he is making his move and I'm here to witness it."
Garrus shot a withering look at the biotic. "Look, I've been watching her six longer than anyone here. If anyone should have an opinion on her ass, it's me."
The Commander threw her head back and laughed. Even Thane smiled.
"He's right you know," Tali said between giggles.
"A regular ass connoisseur. And a suspected cheater if that visor shows biometrics at all." Jack squinted at the offending piece of equipment.
"I know your heart rate went up to 134 bpm when Shepard bent over to pick up Hadley's credits," Garrus boasted.
"This fucking cheater! He's had that thing on all night! Take it off Vakarian!" Jack gestured wildly.
"Yeah take it off Vakarian," Shepard mumbled, her head tucked neatly into her arms, eyes closed.
Tali reached over to pet her hair. "Are you asleep?"
"Nope. I'm imagining Sparatus's face when I see him in the next few days. I'm just resting my screaming voice." She murmured and shifted, chains and crystals tinkling quietly against the table.
Garrus stood, walking around the table to her small form. "Shepard, you should sleep. You're going to have a long day when we make landfall." He leaned his palms on the table on either side of her.
"I know. But I don't want this night to end," she whispered.
He sighed, something tightening painfully in his carapace. Neither did he honestly.
"Come on Shepard, when you start talking about Sparatus you're delirious." He put a hand under her arm.
"Jealous, Vakarian?" she mumbled as he pulled her up from the chair.
"Pffft. Hardly. Your good side is a much safer place to be I think." He grabbed her shoulders as she wobbled. "Those shoes are ridiculous."
She bent and pulled them both off. Whoa. Deja Vu. "Were you always such a killjoy?"
"I think the term you were looking for was devilishly handsome?" He herded her towards the lift and stepped in with her.
Tali swallowed loudly after the door closed behind them. "Poor Shepard. I've been thinking that all night too. This whole thing is ridiculous. The Alliance and the Council are all bosh'tets. I can't believe I can't defend her at that trial." Her voice wavered, "She spoke at mine."
"Eh, human politics aren't anything like yours. They'd use all of us against her, trick us into incriminating her, or worse, ourselves. It's just better this way - easier," Zaeed grumbled. "And what will the galaxy do when the Reapers come, and the only person ready for it is in jail?"
"You already fucking know. They'll crawl to her with their tails between their legs when it all goes to shit," Jack muttered. "And when it's too late for her to save them, they will crucify her."
"Wha… what does that mean?" Tali stuttered.
Thane exhaled a breath. "In human folklore, that was what they did to a man who they considered their messiah. They tortured him to death."
"Keelah," Tali breathed.
As soon as the door to her quarters pulled back she dropped the hoodie into a heap and tapped down the stairs. She stopped to fuss over her shoulder compression sleeve at the bottom as the cabin lights sensed her and illuminated the deck. The play of light and shadow as the muscles in her back moved, the rustling crystals of the dress, the way they cast pinpricks of light around the cabin - she was captivating.
"Come to Palaven with me," he blurted before he could even form a coherent sentence in his head. Damn.
She turned, and whatever look that was, he didn't like it at all. Like she was looking at a child.
"Stay with me?" Her fingers played with the line of chains at the hem of the dress and she dropped her gaze to the floor.
His sub-vocals hummed for her, more and more at each of these encounters, but thank the Spirits she didn't seem to understand them yet. "I can't." he said. "If I don't go back down there now, they'll know."
She shrugged. "So? Let them know."
She didn't care? Really? He blinked and awkwardly walked down the stairs, stopping in front of her.
"Besides, wouldn't it be a shame if I went untouched in an outfit like this?" Shepard grabbed one of his hands and broke the seal of the gauntlet, tugging it off with purpose. She paused when she uncovered newly filed digits. "Wait, you trimmed your talons?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well...I..." He paused and sighed. "There's no way around this being embarrassing. We keep having these… run ins, and I didn't want to hurt you if it happened again."
She laughed. "You can say sex you know. We keep having sex." She guided his hand under the beading of the garment to cup her bare bottom.
Garrus never needed much prompting - such was the fate of two people on such similar wavelengths. He squeezed appreciatively and his deep thrumming dropped a few octaves in his chest. "Mmm... it would be a bit of a shame."
Shepard dragged his other gauntlet off and searched for the seal on his keel yoke as he busied his other palm behind her as well. "Are you going to help me here big guy?"
"I don't know, you seem to be doing a fine job." He snaked a long finger forward, tracing delicate folds through her underwear.
She paused, sucking in a breath at the contact, then doubled her efforts to remove his armor pieces, yanking on the yoke. "Dammit, Vakarian, you -"
He wrapped an arm around her and easily pushed the little scrap of cloth aside, gently fingering her clit for a few slow revolutions before sheathing the thick digit inside of her.
She didn't get to finish the thought as a gasp was wrenched from her throat.
He stooped and dragged her higher to bury his face in the crook of her shoulder. "Take your hair down," he thrummed into her neck, breathing deeply.
She lifted a hand from his cowl but hesitated, so Garrus swiped his tongue across her clavicle and up around the shell of her ear. Shepard sighed contentedly and softened in his grip, her skin prickling into bumps in that odd way.
She pulled the elastic from her hair, sending it cascading around them. "You've got a thing for this, don't you?" The mellow, little laugh she let out created a tightness in his keel that felt like it was choking him.
He buried the hand he'd had at her back into the long tresses, scraping talons along her scalp.
"Possibly," he muttered. Maybe he did. He didn't rightly know himself, but it smelled strongly of her.
They'd been all around the terminus, running and gunning for months - but her funeral played in his head - the memory's edges still sharp - and it butted unwelcomely into their moment. He froze as the images played: Anderson's solemn face as he stood by her empty coffin, the horrible documentary about her life that played in the background, Joker's miserable countenance with his arm in that sling. His thrumming stuttered to a stop.
It's a miracle you can hold her like this at all.
He nosed behind her ear and willed himself to breathe her in and count the little brown dots that adorned her shoulder.
"Garrus?" Shepard murmured.
She tilted her chin down, dragging her fingers slowly up the hide of his neck and placed her lips just behind his good mandible pulled a growl from his keel.
The little guarded smile she wore when she braced her hands on his chest plates and pushed him back? He'd remember that until he died. Garrus followed the silent order, and took a step back to sit heavily on the bed. His hands never left her skin; he pulled her with him, dragging her to stand between his knees. Before she could once again lament his hard suit his azure tongue snaked out, easily navigating the delicate chains of her dress to envelope a nipple. Shepard reached behind his head and carefully unhooked his visor, setting it on the nightstand. He took the hint, and quickly divulged himself of his ablative plating, setting the pieces an arm's length away from them on the bed.
When he turned back towards her she was standing with her arms clasped loosely in front of her, the motion of her breathing scattering pinpricks of multicolored light across the room.
He had to bite down on more stupid words. Iridescent. She lifted the hem of the dress up like she was going to take it off, so Garrus grabbed both of her palms before she could and guided her small, slender fingers over the buckles of his undersuit. He wasn't completely free of it before she dragged her palms along his stomach, setting every tense muscle quivering in her wake.
She knelt, touching his calf spurs with a curious look on her face, then casually draped her arms across his lap. She looked perfectly at home; meanwhile he was struggling to remember how to breath around the tightness in his keel. His sub-vocals wavered and stuttered pathetically, but she gave no indication that it bothered her.
"You trust me right?"
He let her question linger in the cool air of her cabin for a few beats too long, so she traced her fingers along the muscles inside his thighs, inching towards the spread plates at his groin.
"You already know the answer." He tilted his chin down and fixed her with a look.
"Do I? Not like I really know what I'm doing here. So stop me if something is off." And with that she leant forward and dragged her tongue up and over the hide under his groin plates, dipping gingerly into his sheath.
Her wide, flat tongue was - odd, honestly, but also soft and wet, so she pulled him from his sheath in no time. And when her mouth closed around him he nearly jumped clean out of his hide. Human mouths could not be more different from turians'. Slick, pliant, subsuming heat surrounded him, and as he watched his length disappear it was too much. Too fast, too erotic, too many fingers, too far in….
Garrus crushed his eyes closed and tried to focus on squelching down embarrassing noises and controlling the inadvertent movement of his hips - the absolute last thing he needed was to choke her. And then, Spirits, then she came back up with hollowed cheeks and it was so good it was painful. Cognizant thought fled and nothing was left but crystals dancing lightly along his thighs, her verdant eyes, her fiery fringe pooling just so…. He reached down and pulled her by her elbows into his lap.
Spirits.
He couldn't do anything but gasp in ragged breaths as she looked at him quizzically. "I can't… I can't…" He cupped her face and brought their foreheads together.
Shepard nodded. "Hey, it's fine. I said you should stop me."
A few moments passed before it felt like he could breathe around the krogan sitting on his carapace.
Shepard sat with her knees on either side of his hips, gently running her hands along his chest plates and blinking slowly. "Did I do something wrong there?"
"No, not at all. It was just… intense," he hummed.
She smiled. "Intense like the yahg or intense like the thorian?"
Garrus tilted his head, considering. "Thorian. If it were intense like the yahg I'd be out cold," he said with a chuckle.
"Good point."
Shepard busied herself with every little inch of skin she could trace around his plates in the silent minutes that followed. Eventually his breathing slowed, and his thrumming returned. Three-fingered hands wandered teasingly under the delicate hem of her dress and up, and his thumbs circled her breasts before passing over her nipples and dropping down to cup her waist. She shivered in response and scooched forward to pin his arousal against her. He hissed a garbled curse and pulled her tighter to him.
His phallus glided easily along her lips and upwards, pushing through the thin chains of the garment draped over them both. Shepard propped her hands on his keel and pressed him backwards into the pile of blankets.
The only warning he received was slender fingers around the base of his cock before she rocked down onto him, gliding far too slowly downwards, gasping and flexing around him and he was right back where he had been - too hot, too much - and then she undulated. It was all he could do to grasp her thighs, clench his teeth, and try to swallow around the lump in his throat.
Strong muscles lifted her again and she leaned forward until he was nearly back out, and as her wide green eyes watched him, the thought struck him. His memories clearly laid the same wide eyes she'd had as she reached out to him at the Collector base over the Shepard in his lap.
She'd almost fallen. Again his lungs constricted.
When she came back down to the hilt, she arched her spine to rest her hands behind her on his knees and set an unhurried pace. Her hypnotic motions wrested him from his inner thoughts, able to command his attention with just her body. Was that normal for humans? His brain scrambled desperately to keep up as she raised and lowered, rippling her whole body to suck him in and sliding languidly back up his shaft. Or was this some sort of dance? The show was absolutely lascivious - and the tilt of her eyebrows suggested that was her intention.
But then once again she was overlaid with the memory of how dejectedly she'd sat on the shuttle pad of that asteroid base, thinking she was about to meet her demise. And he was about to lose her again. The last time he'd been separated from her, she'd died…. He held his breath as crystals flitted along his abdomen from her movements, and the room darkened.
Wait.
No, the edges of his vision were darkening and the pulse in his ears was drowning her out as his heart hammered too quickly against his carapace. The pressure inside him was strangling. Garrus shot up to wrap long arms around her and bury his face in her breasts.
"Garrus?" she murmured. He didn't move. "Big guy, you're crushing me."
He spoke into her chest, the words muffled, but even in her ryncol'ed state they were undeniably strained and lacked his usual dual-tone. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand up and her stomach clench uneasily.
"Are you alright?" she asked. He said nothing. "Do you want to -"
"No," Garrus choked out. "No, it's fine. I had more to drink than I thought. Just… give me a minute."
Alcohol… sure. Regret creeped into the spaces between her bones. She shouldn't have asked him to stay. Long unused instincts from her time in the Reds flared, telling her to flee, whispering about the dangers of "too intimate". Her legs tensed as if to run before she remembered that it was Garrus sitting under her. And in her. She willed herself to calm down and put her arms around his neck.
Wait, shit, he was breathing too hard, wasn't he? Had he been like this before? She struggled to recall their previous encounters through her buzz. Something hot and wet slicked past her left breast. Shepard put hands under his chin and pulled him away from her.
When she pulled a hand away from him it was coated in a smear of cobalt blood. She jerked her gaze up to his face. "Oh, shit! Garrus, you're bleeding through your bandage."
He made no motion to move, his chest still heaving.
"Stay there." The commander gently lifted herself off of him with a groan and then turned towards the bathroom.
Garrus caught her arm before she could move though, and pointed at his thigh armor. He watched her fiddle with the little compartments on the outside of each piece, then walk to her bathroom. The sink turned on.
What was happening to him?
Garrus sighed. The tightness was still there, he couldn't take a deep breath… but at least his heart had calmed down. He held a palm on his carapace.
Shepard returned to his side with a warm washcloth and a handful of wound dressing supplies. She made a motion with her elbow that confused him for a split second, but he moved his arms out of his lap and she straddled him again. He curled both his palms around her thighs.
She eyed him for a moment as she dumped the tubes of cream and the cloth bandage in her lap. "You sure it's just the alcohol? You aren't having an allergic reaction are you?"
"I don't think so. I had Mordin give me a steroid injection before…" he trailed off.
She huffed a laugh. "Before the relay? You casanova, planning to get in my pants."
"Hm. No harm in a longer-term solution." He flinched as she pulled the last crusted corner of his bandage off.
"Shit."
"That good, huh?"
"It hurts just looking at you Vakarian." She tsked with her tongue and gently patted his neck and mandible with the washcloth. "I bet that was a fun conversation with the Professor." She dropped her voice. "Excuse me Mordin, got any long-term antihistamines I could use to bang the Commander?"
He pulled his chin from her hand. "That is the worst impression of me I've ever had the misfortune of hearing."
Shepard chuckled and then frowned, studying his torn up mandible. "What did Chakwas say about medigel?"
"Avoid - short term solution that will cause more scarring around the cybernetics."
"Pain?"
"Not really. Looks worse than it is. The fall on the base just opened some of it back up."
Shepard shot him a disbelieving look as he handed her the clean bandage and tube of wound cream. He watched her face closely as she worked on his jaw and neck, and wondered if she knew she sometimes stuck her tongue out when she was concentrating.
"You'd better be careful big guy, no taxing yourself with repairs. I don't know any krogan women so we've got to get you all pretty again." Her lip corner pulled up into that familiar smirk.
He let the muscle tension in his neck drain as she cradled his head, relaxing into her touch. This might be his last moment to enjoy their easy camaraderie - enjoy her. That thought chased away the lingering tightness in his keel, but left behind was an achy, hollow feeling that persisted over the next few days, anytime he saw her face.
