"Look Ima," Tali said pointing up to the sky. One hand tightly on her ice cream cone. "Just like Paris."
Ziva took a long lick of her ice cream. It was sickly sweet, but exactly what she needed on this hot August day.
She followed Tali's hand and looked up at the canopy of green leaves above them. Such a relief in the heat.
"Yes," Ziva said. "It is a little like Paris."
Ziva thought of the corner by their tiny apartment, with the bakery that was almost impossible to walk past, and the canopy of green leaves in the summer.
She thought of those grey December days, after she came back to them, where they would take Tali for a walk. Tali would scoot on the path, and Ziva would look up at the naked trees.
Everything had been so new then. Ziva had been so worried that after all this time apart, things would always be this hard.
Then Spring came, and little leaves started to bud on the trees. Tali did not get to see them that year, because of the lockdown, and Ziva rushed past them, needing the panic to stay manageable for the hour long shopping trip.
Summer came that year, and the leaves formed a canopy, a safe place to shelter when the city heat got too much. Tali had been allowed out, and scooted down the path again. So many of the fears Ziva had about reintegrating into their lives had fallen away by the time those green leaves turned orange and carpeted the ground.
Now, Ziva found some of those old fears bubbling up. She knew her place with Tali and Tony, but not with the others. Not with the men she loved liked brothers and a father. Not with the new faces in the orange squadroom. Those who had helped her come back to her family, even though they had never met her.
"I miss Paris," Tali said, looking down at her sandals.
Ziva felt that aching in her gut, when she saw Tali was upset.
Ziva had caused so much pain, and now she worried she was adding to it.
Things would be better once Tali started school, at least that's what Tony and Ziva told themselves.
"I do too," Ziva admitted, as she placed her hand on Tali's shoulder.
"Really?" Tali asked.
"Yes," Ziva said, as the ice cream started to melt, and trickle down Ziva's hand. "But, I think once we get used to here, I will miss Paris less."
Tali nodded. The wide rim of the huge sunhat, in her favourite purple colour grazed Ziva's arm.
Ziva's mind drifted to those long walks through the olive groves, that she used to take Tali on. She remembered the little infant strapped onto Ziva's chest, and the tiny little sunhat. That tiny baby became a toddler who insisted on walking herself, and never kept her hat on for long.
How long ago it all felt.
How long ago, it actually was.
"Your ice cream is melting," Ziva told Tali, "You do not want to waste it, do you?"
Tali put her ice cream to her mouth, and started to aggressively lick it.
Ziva felt a smirk cross her face.
Seven.
How was the little baby who saved her, already seven?
She left Tali to her ice cream, and adjusted her stance. The railing they were leaning on, dug into her back, and the canvas bag containing their haul from the farmers market tugged on her shoulder.
Tony had offered to take the bag to the car, when he had left them by the ice cream shop to run more of the errands they had come to do. The plan had initially been for the family to run the errand together, but after the farmers market, Tali declared she was too hot, and she was not going to do any more boring errands. So Tony had gone on a solo mission. Ziva wished she had given him the vegetables, she could feel the greens wilt in the heat.
She did not remember it getting so hot last time she lived in the DC area.
Her back twinged, as she finished her ice cream. It had been four days since the truck had arrived outside their house, and everything from their Paris apartment had been emptied into their little house.
The house felt more homely was furniture in it, but it still felt glacial compared to the apartment. They had lost Tali more than once, when she had snuck off to the basement while the adults were upstairs painting the bedrooms and putting up shelves.
They now had three places where they could put a sofa, and only one sofa. It felt ridiculous.
The dining table, just as Ziva had suspected when they packed up the apartment, did not look right in the dining nook that faced the kitchen. It was square, when a rectangle shape would work better, and it was too small.
"What are we going to do tomorrow?" Tali asked.
Sundays had been declared fundays, Tony and Ziva took Tali on an adventure. On the previous Sunday, they had gone to the spy museum in DC, with Tali finding the metro trip one of the most exciting parts. Tony had enjoyed the museum as much as Tali, and Ziva had enjoyed watching her two favourite people enjoy something together.
Tali was such a city child.
"I do not know," Ziva said, as she crunched her ice cream cone, with crumbs falling onto her dress. "What would you like to do?"
Tali pulled her lower lip under her upper lip, her thinking face, and closed her eyes.
Ziva felt a laugh roll through her.
This child, oh how she loved this child.
Ziva finished the ice cream cone, brushed off the crumbs, and through her sunglasses she watched the world around her. They were in the town square area, a few minutes drive from their new home, the car-free area of the main square had been extended for the weekly farmers market, creating the perfect stage for people watching.
Ziva watched as a car tried to turn into the street only to meet a barrier, and turn back out.
A cyclist snaked past the barrier, and Ziva thought of the three bikes that had been moved from the shipping container to the newly pest-free garage. She would not be able to cycle as a form of transport, like she had in Paris, not without risking her life, but she wanted to make sure the bikes did not gather dust.
Maybe, their weekend adventure could involve a bike ride.
A group of teen girls, walked on what was usually a road. The three of them giggled and joked, as they headed toward the main shops.
Ziva looked at Tali, who still had her eyes closed, and then back at the girls.
That could be Tali and her friends one day.
Ziva wondered what Tali would be like as a teenager.
The girls disappeared out of view, and a couple walked past with a baby in a stroller, and an older child scooting next to them.
Ziva hoped that would be them one day.
"Are you still thinking, Neshama Shelli?" Ziva asked.
Tali opened her eyes.
"Can we go to the park?" Tali asked, "The big one., that we can't walk too."
Ziva's smiled glad Tali wanted to get into nature. She did not want to deal with any more crowds this weekend.
"Shall we take our bikes?" Ziva asked.
Tali nodded enthusiastically.
From across the street, Ziva saw a familiar man in cargo shorts, a shirt open over a t-shirt, and a huge hat.
He looked like such a Dad.
"Daddy," Tali called out, as Tony crossed the road.
The bag he had taken with him on his errands was gone.
"Hi Tali," Tony said, "Did you finish your ice cream?"
Tali nodded dramatically. Ziva noticed the splotch of ice cream on Tali's dress.
"Yes," Tali said. "Ima said we can go for a bike ride tomorrow."
"Did she?" Tony asked, as he stood next to Ziva, and tugged the shopping bag from her shoulder.
Ziva let him take the heavy bag. They shared heavy things now.
She bunched her shoulders together, and shook them out, glad to be free of the weight.
"You okay?" he asked, standing so close that she could feel his breath on her ears.
She nodded, but her jaw was still tight.
It had been just a moment. A moment in the crowd of the farmers market, where Tali was out of her sight for just a second.
Tali had been looking at a dog, and not realised that Ziva had moved along.
Once, Tali had realised she couldn't see her mother; she screamed for her parents.
Ima, Ima, Daddy. I can't see you.
Ziva's face flushed red, the panic rose in Ziva as she rushed through the crowd to collect Tali, feeling all those eyes on her.
She could hear their thoughts, what sort of mother lost their child in a market?
Especially in a market.
It had been in a market, where Ziva had to put Tali into Adam's arms.
It had been in a market where she abandoned we Tali.
That had been the hardest thing she ever had to do.
"Is Tali?" he asked.
Tali had held tightly onto her mother's hand for the rest of their time in the market. At one point Tali's grip actually hurt, but Ziva knew better than to tell her that. They were both too shaken.
Ziva had to make peace with the fact that the separation in the market was a trauma for Tali as well. One that had lingering effects.
Your early childhood shapes you, Ziva's old therapist had said in the book lined office. Especially events that happen around age two.
"I think so," Ziva said softly. "I think the ice cream helped."
Tony chuckled, and moved toward Tali. He placed a hand on Tali's shoulder, and Ziva watched as Tali's stance softened.
She was between both of her parents, in her safe place.
"You know there's a lot of stores around here," Tony said, "More than I thought."
People streamed down the sidewalk in the direction of one of the car parks.
The three of them had driven up to the town square during their visit during Tali's spring break. It had all been in a rush, between a house viewing and an interview for Tali's school. The town square had been quiet, filled with retirees enjoying the Spring weather, and foot traffic from the library.
We can go into DC, when we need some excitement, Tony had promised, as they looked at their lunch options.
Now, Ziva did not think they would have to go so far.
"Really?" Tali asked, dragging out the word.
"Yeah," Tony said. "There's so many food places. I hope you're ready to try them all."
Tali smiled, showing her teeth.
"Do you think we'll try them all before I go to my new school?" Tali asked.
Tony scoffed.
"All our stuff is here now," he said, "We can make our own food. Ima makes nice food for us."
They had eaten so much takeout in the last few weeks, most of it healthy choices but all of it expensive.
Ziva was looking forward to setting up the new kitchen and cooking. They had so much room now.
She was looking forward to teaching Tali the same ancient family recipes her mother had taught her. Tali would know how to make the perfect fluffy rice, and falafel from scratch, if she learnt nothing else.
She wanted to have a big table in the nook, where they could have big feasts with all their friends, new and old.
"And, we brought all these vegetables," Ziva said.
Tony patted the bag. Ziva had probably gone overboard with the veggies. At least they had a compost bin now.
"Can we have lunch here?" Tali asked.
Tony looked at Ziva, and looked around the tree lined street.
It was too hot to cook, and it was getting a little late for lunch.
"No pizza," she said pointing her finger at Tony.
Tony did an exaggerated pout. Tali did her puppy dog eyes.
"But, Ima," Tali whined.
Tony pulled his phone from his pocket and opened an app that listed restaurants in the area.
"Why don't you pick somewhere?" he asked. "Somewhere new. Remember that list we made of all the new places we need to find."
The new places list had been an extension of the list Tony and Ziva had made listing all the new services they needed to find; a dentist, a doctor for each of them, and an accountant.
Tali had added an ice cream place to the list on the whiteboard that used to live on the fridge.
Over, a slow Saturday dinner, the three of them had talked about the places they needed to find to make their new place feel like town.
According to the list they needed to find an ice cream place, a pizza place with extra cheesy pizza, and a park with swings that went really high.
Their new house was a twelve minute walk from a park that was attached to a community center.
They had tried every pizza place on their section of the Rockville Pike.
And now, they had an ice cream place. It was not quite walking distance from their home like it had been in Paris, but it was close enough.
They also needed to find a leisure center with a pool, a big park to ride bikes, and a falafel place for when it's Ima's turn to decide on take out.
They had found a leisure center with a pool, and also found out that there was a community pool near their house, which they were planning to join next summer.
They would spend the next day riding bikes in Rock Creek park.
They were yet to find a falafel place, but Ziva had seen a sign for a Lebanese restaurant when they walked to the ice cream shop.
"We have found our ice cream place, have we not?" Ziva asked.
Tali looked down at her sandals.
"What's wrong Small Fry?" Tony asked.
This child had so many nicknames. She knew so much love.
"It's not like it is in Paris," she said.
"No," Tony said. "We're not in Paris anymore."
"They knew who we were at the ice cream shop," Tali said. "They knew that I always wanted strawberry and chocolate, and that you liked to choose a new flavour every time. They didn't know us here."
Tony pulled the bag off his shoulder, and handed it to Ziva. Then he squatted down in front of Tali.
"That's because we're new here," he said. "They don't know us yet. Give it a few weeks, and they'll see us coming through the door and start scooping the strawberry flavour first, because you have it first."
"They did it the other way," Tali said, "Chocolate first."
"Because they didn't know," Tony said.
"It was okay," Tali replied. "It still tasted good, maybe it doesn't matter what order it is."
Tony smirked.
"Remember when Ima first came back," Tony said, "And, they didn't know who she was."
"They thought she was my Nanny," Tali said.
Ziva remembered the tight conversation she had over the ice cream counter after Tali revealed that the woman she was with was in fact her Maman.
Have you been away? the man scooping the ice cream had asked. Something like that, had been Ziva's careful reply.
"Yeah," Tony said, wincing slightly. That memory hurt. "And, by the time you went back to school after lockdown, they knew that Ima loves salted caramel when it's cold, and sorbet when it's hot."
Tali screwed up her face. Her palate was not advanced enough for salted caramel.
"I know it's different here," Tony said. "But, it's good."
Tali nodded.
"Can I pick where we go for lunch?" she asked.
Tony pulled himself up.
"You can look at options," Tony said as he opened the app on his phone. "Ima and I have the final say."
Tali took the phone.
Tony left her to it, and moved toward Ziva. He took the bag from her.
"You are a good father," she said.
Tony looked at Tali.
"I just say the things I wish someone had said to me," he said softly.
Ziva reached for his hand, and squeezed it.
He had been only a year older than Tali was now, when his mother slipped away, and he was dropped off in front of a boarding school.
"Maybe that is what makes you good," Ziva said.
He shrugged.
"I looked at the furniture place you pointed out," he said.
During their search for parking they had gone down a side street, and found a furniture store that was going out of business.
"And?" she asked.
"Can we have Sushi?" Tali asked, not looking up from her phone.
"What else is there?" Tony asked. "Sushi's more like a snack food."
And, Tali never ate any of the fish, which defeated the purpose of going out for sushi.
"Anyway, I can see why it's going out of business," he said. "It was the type of place my Mom would have liked."
Tali looked up from Tony's phone, mentions of her paternal grandmother were so rare.
Ziva wondered if one day Tali would call her Mom.
Mom. Mommy. Mom.
It was so American. It felt so strange, but Tali sometimes called Tony Dad rather than Daddy.
"Louis XV?" Ziva asked, remembering his mother's eccentric taste from one of the first times he had mentioned her.
"Well a cheap rip-off," he said. "Lots of curved backs and cushions on chairs, way too delicate for our house."
They were the family that built blanket forts, had dance parties, and turned the dining table into an artist studio. They needed durable furniture.
"Are we going shopping, again?" Tali whined.
"Not today," Tony said. "It's the weekend. Remember we agreed to only do fun stuff on the weekend."
"Good," Tali said. "Why would Daddy's Ima like the furniture?"
Ziva felt an ache in her chest hearing Tali refer to Tony's mother as his Ima.
She was Tali's schema of a mother.
It was a lot of weight to carry.
Ziva pulled her phone from the pocket of her trousers, and googled the furniture style. She handed her phone to Tony who nodded, and he handed the phone to Tali.
"The furniture looked like that," Tony said. "My Mom liked that style."
Tali held a phone in each hand, and Ziva wondered what someone walking past would say when recalling this scene.
The child, she looked like she was only seven, was holding a phone in each hand. Honestly, kids today. All those screens.
Tony plucked his phone from Tali's hand and put it in his pocket.
"It looks like museum furniture," Tali said.
Ziva thought of the castle they had visited during Tali's mid-winter break. Tali did not always enjoy museums, but she had loved the castle. They had to keep swatting her hands away when she wanted to touch things.
"Exactly," Tony said. "And, we don't want to live in a museum."
Tali handed Ziva's phone to Tony, and he handed it back to Ziva.
"Ima," Tali started. "What type of furniture did your Ima like?"
The apartment in the sky came back to Ziva quickly, as that had been the only place her mother had been allowed to decorate. She had offered to redecorate the farmhouse once, but her father had refused.
Ziva's chest ached as she thought of the farmhouse as it was now, just burnt out rubble.
"She liked simple styles," Ziva said, "And, things that were easy to clean. My Ima did not like to clean."
Tali nodded. She could understand that. Nobody liked cleaning.
"Did your Daddy not help with cleaning?" Tali asked.
Ziva wanted to laugh. Her father had never washed a dish in that apartment in the sky.
Tony coughed slightly, trying to mask a laugh.
"No," Ziva said. "My father was away for work a lot. He did not help at home."
Tali nodded.
"So, he was not like Daddy?" Tali asked.
Ziva felt her heart heave. Tony was nothing like Eli.
"No," she said softly. "My father was very different from your father."
Ziva realised then, that this would be how Tali would get to know Eli. She would know him from memories.
She would never be disappointed by him.
"Did you decide what you want for lunch?" Tony asked.
Tali looked up at him.
"There's too many choices," Tali declared.
Tony pulled his phone out of his pocket.
"I saw a falafel place," Ziva said, "The same chain that was by the Navy Yard."
Tony put his phone back in his pocket.
"That falafel place by the Navy Yard is long gone," he said. "It closed way before I left. I think losing its most loyal customer really put a dent in its profits."
Ziva felt a wave of sadness, even though it had been nearly a decade since she had visited the restaurant.
People change. Places change.
Tali looked at her parents, she was always a little put out when they mentioned the life they had a life before her.
"Which way?" he asked.
Ziva pointed in the direction of where the farmers market was.
Tali moved, and took her place between her parents, taking a hand from each of them. The sidewalk was wide, they could walk in a line for a little while.
"McDaddy messaged me," Tony started.
"I do not think you should call him McDaddy," Ziva said. "It sounds R-rated."
A grin came over Tony's face.
The three of them ambled along the sidewalk.
"Delilah's going to Dubai next week." Tony said. "I thought we could organise a play date over the weekend, so that McGoo can have some adult company, and Tali can hang out with some kids."
Ziva thought of the kitchen, of feeding a gang around a table.
"I like that idea," Ziva said.
The McFamily lived in a high rise apartment, after out growing Tony's one-bedroom, and did not have access to a yard. Ziva could so easily imagine the twins running around with Tali on the green grass, while the adults watched from the deck.
They passed a gift shop, an Asian supermarket and a Mexican restaurant. This town square had so much to explore.
"Would you like that?" Tony asked Tali. "Bossing the twins around for a few hours, and showing them your new room."
"Yeah," Tali said. "We would have lots of fun."
The street became the main square, and standing by the splash pad was Tony's father, his face hidden by a huge Panama hat, and shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
Tali let go of her parents, and ran toward her grandfather.
"Pop-Pop," she called out, as she ran toward Senior, almost toppling him over.
"Hello, Sweetheart," Senior said as they walked a few feet ahead.
"He was in the neighbourhood apparently," Tony explained. "I think he just wanted to see Tali. He called me when he was on the metro, I couldn't exactly tell him to go home."
Senior lived on the other side of the Potomac river, and had given up his driver's licence a few years ago, meaning he would have to take two metro trains to get to them, so Ziva doubted Senior was just in the neighbourhood.
They had seen Senior at least three times a week since they moved back, and it seemed that he did not have much else going on.
"Seeing as Dad's here," Tony said, as they reached the corner, and stood in front of a bar and restaurant "I was thinking we should try this place."
Ziva looked at the closed restaurant, with its white table cloths, and shelf of liquors behind the bar.
It was not exactly child friendly, as well behaved as Tali could be in public.
"It looks very nice," Ziva said.
Tali was recounting her day to Senior, including the time where she lost her parents in the market.
Trauma had to be talked about to be processed, and Tali was processing.
"Dad would be happy to look after Tali," Tony said. "And we need to get some dates in before the W-E-D-D-I-N-G."
Tali knew about their upcoming nuptials, but her parents knew better than to discuss their wedding in front of Tali. She had a lot of opinions.
"I can't marry you, having only been on a handful of dates," he whispered, Tali was still nearby.
"We have a seven year old," Ziva said.
"All the more reason to go on some dates," he said. "We didn't go on nearly enough when we were in Paris."
"I think the global pandemic may have had something to do with that," Ziva said.
"Let's make up for lost time," he said softly. "Maybe not this weekend, but maybe next weekend we can ask Dad to stay over and I'll take you out on the town, but we'll be home by ten because we're old now."
Tony's fiftieth birthday had passed during their move without much fanfare, and Ziva's upcoming birthday would be the last one in her thirties.
They were getting age.
It amazed her, simply because she had never imagined living so long.
Senior turned around, as he and Tali reached the restaurant.
"This one?" Senior asked, pointing to the sign of the familiar chain.
Ziva nodded, and watched as Senior and Tali walked into the restaurant hand in hand.
"You know," Tony started, as they followed Senior and Tali. "These last few days, it's really started to feel like we're home, not just some sort of stressful vacation."
They walked into the restaurant, and found Tali and Senior at the back of the line. Tali was now talking about Odette's dog, again.
Tali really wanted a dog of her own.
"It does," Ziva said softly.
She thought of that diner two years ago, of McGee sitting in front of her for the first time in over half a decade, and his kind words; come home Ziva.
Home was not something she had in such a long time. Home was not something she thought she deserved for even longer.
And, now with her partner and daughter in tow, she was home.
A/N:
I don't own a thing.
This chapter started life as an image of Tali, Ziva and Tony eating ice cream and it just grew from there. There's really not a lot of plot in this fic.
Next chapter will feature McGee. I'm still aiming for weekly updates, but no promises.
Thank you for all your kind words, reviews and faves.
