Chapter 20: Running Motors
It became remarkably clear to me that I had no idea how to date.
Truthfully, I had never even entertained the idea of anything like that before, let alone having any experience in the field. In hindsight, I probably should have thought about it more clearly before I asked Santana out, but it felt right in the moment.
I was thankful, in a way, that Santana hadn't really tried to push the issue of actually going out with me. I think she knew that I wasn't anywhere near being ready to actually go out in public with the two of us being a thing. She was smart like that.. A lot smarter than I was, even if her experience in dating was about as minimal as mine was.
It had been a week since the party, and we had texted every moment of every day since. It was a weird feeling to have someone send me good morning texts that didn't include a disgusting picture of a penis. Santana was interested in everything I was doing, and often told me how proud she was that I didn't miss a single period of school or worked an extra hour or two at the mechanic shop. Though it was all alien and new to me, I liked it.
Unfortunately, my good mood hadn't gone unnoticed by my friends. Puck was convinced that I was dabbling in some new drug that I was keeping to myself, and would not let it go.. No matter how many times I kicked him in the shins. Thankfully, the extra work hours I was putting in meant an excuse to decline his booty calls.
Though, if the disgusting displays that he and Sugar were putting on around campus were anything to go by, he was being kept nicely satiated with no help from me.
It was actually me that suggested that Santana should spend the day with me at my place. I had just been planning on fixing up my motorcycle to get it running again after my little parking lot crash. I missed riding, and now my hand was out of the cast,there was a lot of work to do. Santana seemed pretty interested when I would tell her about working on vehicles, so I extended the invitation to her.
'It's a date!', Santana had excitedly replied. A date.
I furrowed my brow, squinting my eyes to concentrate on rewiring the brakes on my Yamaha. Other than the invitation, we hadn't actually planned on what time she was going to be heading over.. Or if we would be doing anything other than working inside of the small garage pod in my apartment complex. If anything, it definitely took the anxiety and pressure off the date situation.
I hadn't even entertained the idea of overthinking it and risk freaking myself out over it. Jean shorts and a slightly grease stained tank top was my normal working outfit of choice, and luckily for me, I really rocked that look.
I was a good hour into working when I heard the sound of a car pulling into the parking lot. Peering out of the garage, I watched a shiny Audi park up, looking very out of place between all of the old and beaten cars of my neighbors. I knew it was Santana. The car definitely fit the whole aesthetic of that fancy house I had seen from the outside.
I watched Santana's small frame climb out of the car and fumble with the phone and keys she was juggling with her hands while pushing the door shut. She was completely unaware of my presence watching, and it was kind of adorable how nervous she seemed. After adjusting her vibrantly blue Superman shirt and checking her hair for just a second in the wing mirrors of the Audi, Santana glanced up at the run-down apartment building before turning her attention down to her phone - probably fixing to send me a text.
Smirking to myself, I let out a wolf-whistle that made her jump. Her wide eyes darted around the parking lot before they finally found mine, and I could see her visibly relax.
"She's a beauty!" I called out, wiping my hands clean on a cloth before shoving it in my back pocket as I stepped out of the garage pod.
"Yeah…. It's my moms. She, um.. Let me borrow it," Santana smiled nervously, gesturing back to the Audi while walking towards me.
"I was talking about you, but the car is pretty sweet too," I smirked, watching the light flush heat up Santana's face as the compliment settled.
"Oh…" Santana breathed, trying to compose herself and turning her attention away from her mom's car and onto me. Her eyes drank in my appearance, taking particular interest in how much of my tattooed thighs were visible with my short-shorts. With the blush on her cheeks reddening even further, Santana noticed what she was doing, too.
"Hey, Supergirl," I greeted, the gap between us finally small enough not to have to talk in a raised voice. She seemed thankful that I didn't react to her leering.
"Hi.." Her response was shy, and I watched the way her hand twitched ever so slightly towards me.
We hadn't talked about this part of our relationship.. Or whatever this was now. Were we supposed to kiss? Hug? I was sure she probably wouldn't appreciate the grease additions to her outfit. I could almost see the cogs turning around in that overworking brain of hers.
Making the decision for the both of us, I closed the gap to press a light kiss to her lips. Santana was stunned, and it took her a second to realize what was happening before she kissed me back before it was over.
It felt so abnormally normal, and that filled my chest with a small puff of pride. Unlike school, this was a place where I felt as though I could be myself. Even if any of my neighbors were lurking around, none of them actually knew who I was. It was freeing to be with Santana here.. Somewhere that wasn't in the safe confinements of the walls of my apartment.
"So…. How is it coming? With the motorcycle.." Santana asked me quietly, hiding her very pleased smile by tucking her long, dark hair behind her ear. I really did dig this look of her having it down and free of those pony tails.
"She's going good," I nodded, leading Santana over to my small garage, "All the wiring is nearly done, so all that's left is working out those dents and a little paint job and she'll be ready for the road again,"
I could see Santana nodding along as I picked up the wrench to tighten up a few bolts. I knew that she probably didn't know much of what I was doing, nor was she particularly interested in it, but she was putting on quite a good show. Either that, or she was just enjoying the sight of me covered in engine muck.
Santana moved to perch herself on top of my large tool chest, her feet dangling a foot or so from the ground. I smirked while I worked, spying the way her eyes kept flickering to my ass when she thought I wasn't looking. I was used to being leered at, for sure, but it did hit differently when it was someone I actually wanted to look at me that way.
"How was your Model UN thing?" I asked, trying not to let on that I caught her checking me out.
"You… Remembered I did that?" She sounded shocked.
"Well, yeah," I shrugged nonchalantly. It was strange to care about anything outside of my personal bubble, I would give her that much. But our odd little texting relationship did mean a lot to me. She meant a lot to me.
"It was great!" She perked up. I could hear the smile in her voice and the little edge of excitement. "I had a pretty solid policy proposal and got a clean sweep in the majority vote which is really rare. Both Blaine and were both recognized with awards, and then we celebrated back at my house. My mom made her special family empanadillas and OH…." She gasped, jumping off the tool box, "I brought you some leftovers,"
I turned my attention away from my motorcycle when she broke off mid-ramble, quirking my brow.
"You did?"
This was certainly a first. Living alone and having next to no cooking skills, I didn't often get to eat a home cooked meal unless I went over to the Puckerman house.
"Well, yeah.. I thought you might like them. I.. Uh.. Told my mom was that I was coming here to tutor you, and that I should bring some. I don't usually lie to her.. Or anyone, really. It was more of a… White lie? What she doesn't know won't hurt her. I just figured that, with you not really wanting anyone to know your business. Or … our business, I guess.. I didn't want to go telling her,"
I felt a little bad about that. She was right, of course. I didn't have to tell Santana that I wasn't exactly comfortable with being open about any of this. She was smart, and my recent behavior over the subject was telling enough. I was already pissed off enough over thinking that everyone at school was already thinking that I was going a little soft because I hadn't tried to flush anyone's head in the toilet for a few weeks, much less even thinking about coming out with the whole gay thing.. Or the Santana thing.
"Should I… Go and put it in the fridge?" Santana asked, gesturing back over to the Audi.
"Huh?" I furrowed by brows as I was dragged out of my spiral of thinking about who would be the next candidate for a swirly. "Oh, the food. Yeah, sure. The door is open,"
Santana offered me a soft smile and reached out to pull up the strap on my tank top that had fallen down my shoulder. It was a reassurance from her, letting me know that she was okay with the little white lie that she told her mom.
She was considerate in that way. It was more than I really deserved.
I watched her make her way back over to her mom's car to grab the Tupperware container to take into my apartment. When she was inside the building and completely out of sight, I turned back to my motorcycle to finish up what I was doing.
I was glad, in a way, that I didn't have my parents around to come out to. Other than knowing that they still lived in Ohio, I didn't know where they were. Not that I cared much, because they hadn't exactly done me any favors. I did wonder what they would have said if they knew about any of this. Some parents knew that their kids were gay before they were even old enough to know themselves. Did they have any idea when I was younger? Would they have been as accepting of it as Santana's parents apparently were?
I bet that was nice. Knowing that someone loved you unconditionally no matter who you were or what you did. Though, I suppose, there's only so much you can do before unconditional love isn't enough.
"I didn't know you had a cat!" Santana's voice rang out when she re-entered the garage.
"Ha… Yeah, kinda. That's Tubs," I left out a soft chuckle. "He's not really mine. He used to wander around here so I let him in my place and started feeding him scraps. He comes and goes.. The freeloading fuck,"
"He's adorable!" Santana defended, with a giggle.
"He's fat," I argued playfully.
"Just a little bit,"
I knew she couldn't argue that. He was as round as he was long, and had definitely worked out how to open the fridge and get into my trash can. He was an annoying pain in the ass, but I did like him. More than I liked Puckerman. Definitely less than I liked Santana, though.
I suddenly remembered something I hadn't told Santana yet.
"I told Berry," I admitted, while tucking the brake wires back to where they needed to be.
"That you have a cat?" Santana questioned, a slight hint of amusement in her voice.
"Oh no.. Y'know.. About you and me. Us. After the spin the bottle shit at the party,"
Santana was silent for a strangely long time. After all, as far as she knew, I hated Rachel. I even went as far as going after Rachel after she slushied Santana. It was basically very public knowledge that we were on the very opposite ends of the spectrum at school and would even be likely to get voted 'least likely to ever be friends' in one of those stupid school year book things.
"I don't… Understand.. Rachel? Really?" The surprise was very evident in Santana's voice.
"Mhmm.. She kinda talked me into getting my shit together, actually."
I cleared my throat to continue, feeling like it was time to share a little something about myself. After all, this was all about having someone to open up to, right?
"We used to be friends when we were young or whatever. Best friends.. She was my only friend, actually. Until I started being a bitch to everyone. She wouldn't get off my ass about it, so I punched her," I paused to glance over at Santana, almost able to see her mind working a hundred miles a minute behind her eyes. "She got back at me for it when I spent a little time in juvie. Told everyone at school.. Spread a bunch of rumors or whatever,"
The only person that knew about any of this, other than Rachel, was Puck. And it felt kind of good.. To know that I had someone I didn't have to hide myself from.
"What did you…" Santana started before trailing off. I couldn't blame her. I wasn't known for my openness when it came to answering her questions in the past.
"I got angry at home and pushed my sister down the stairs.. It wasn't the first time I hurt someone pretty badly… But yeah.. I was 13. I was only in juvie for two weeks but I never saw my parents after that. I would have had to stay longer if Puckerman's mom hadn't agreed to foster me. I lived there for a while. With Puck,"
Santana was quiet for a long moment, processing everything. I really hoped that it wouldn't change her opinion of me, but I'm sure she had heard stories just as bad floating around school about me. I gave up denying anything on the grapevine a while ago. There was no point when everyone already thought you were a pretty terrible person.
"I didn't know… That must have been really awful, I'm sorry," Santana offered with a comforting smile. There was absolutely no trace of disgust in her face, and I felt as thought I could breathe a sigh of relief. She really was such a good person.
"Shit happens," I shrugged, matching her smile, "But we just get on with it, ey?"
Satisfied with my progress on Black Beauty, I stood up and stretched out my back.
"Are you taking a break?" Santana asked when I started putting away the tools I had been working with.
"I doubt watching me fuck around with that is very interesting for you," I shrugged, but making sure to give Santana a smile so she knew that it wasn't a big deal.
"Okay… But, I mean.. I was fine with watching. I know this is what you wanted to do today, and I didn't want to ruin your plans," She rambled, wringing her fingers together.
"I would prefer to do you," I couldn't help but smirk. I wiped my hands as clean as I could on my rag before throwing it aside and reaching out to rest them on Santana's slender hips. Her lips were parted in absolute disbelief at my boldness, and it was freaking adorable.
"Oh… Hi," Santana finally responded, recovering from her temporary paralysis from the shock. She smiled shyly up at me and let her arms find their way around my neck. Her fingers twirled with the baby hairs at the nape of my neck, and it felt good. Really good.
"My day actually got a whole lot better when you showed up," I admitted, tightening my grip on Santana's hip bones to pull her closer into my body, feeling her warmth mingling with mine. "Don't tell Beauty, but I think I have a new favorite girl to spend my time with,"
Santana let out a soft giggle, shaking her head, pushing even closer into me. Though I could tell that she was a little shy, she seemed very pleased with the proximity of our bodies. If only we could be like this all the time. Maybe one day.
"I don't tell her… She might run me over,"
I snorted at her comeback, tilting my head down to brush our noses softly together. Her smell was intoxicating to me. It was the closest feeling to being home that I could have.
I wasn't sure who had made the first move, but my breath caught in my throat the instant our lips touched. Any thought of anyone seeing us, or caring what anyone thought went right out of the window as my eyes closed and I leaned into it. Santana was eager to pull me closer, her delicate fingers caressing the back of my neck.
I pulled Santana's lower lip between my own, letting my teeth lightly graze against it. For just a moment, I thought that I might have pushed things a little far, but the broken breath that shuddered from Santana's mouth proved otherwise. It took the smaller girl just a moment before her tongue teased at my lip.
My stomach erupted in butterflies the second out tongues met. This wasn't anything like kissing Puck, or any other guy - with their over eager sloppiness and the taste of sour burgers. Santana was sweetness and softness. Too much but not enough at the same time.
Pushing into Santana, I blinded pushed her backwards, causing us both to awkwardly stumble against the workbench. Our kissing was fervent, both of us unwilling to stop as we gripped one another ever tighter. Santana gasped into my mouth when I felt her lower back hit the bench. The back of my neck felt suddenly cold with the absence of her hands and I felt Santana clatter around behind her, knocking away the tools that littered the surface to clear a space.
Without breaking the kiss, Santana pulled herself up to sit on the edge of the workbench and her excited hands fisted the fabric of my shirt to pull be between her open legs. She was rougher than I would have expected her to be, but still ever so delicate. I wrapped my arms around Santana's waist, savoring in the feeling of her small body against mine.
Her legs wrapped around my waist, and it was only then when I could feel how hot she was. Her body was burning, thighs gripping at my waist. I knew that the swirling desire in her stomach was a match to my own. I had been sexually active for years, but nothing could compare to this. I never had this want before. The excitement was completely unmatched, and I wanted nothing more than to rip her clothes from her body.
How could I never have guessed I was a little bit gay before?
Santana took in a sharp gasp of air when our lips finally parted, only to be replaced with a whimper when I let my hot lips slide across the line of her jaw. I made my gracious way to the apex of her heated neck, relishing in the tenderness of her skin against my mouth.
The moan she let out vibrated my lips, and only further fueled my taste for exploration. Santana was more than willing, tilting her head to the side to give me better access. Her fingers found their way back into my hair, tanging and weaving between the strands to hold me ever closer. Her breathing was labored, as was mine. The heat was almost unbearable.
"Brittany.." Santana whimpered, as I started sucking on a particularly sensitive part of her neck.
I let out a throaty groan, knowing that I would want nothing better than to hear more of Santana's whimpers and moans.. But I had to stop. I had to pry myself away before I got more.. Carried away. Reluctantly, I parted myself from Santana's neck, the throbbing in my stomach fighting against my better judgement.
"Sorry… Couldn't help myself," I sighed, trying to will my hands to loosen their grip around Santana and my forehead against hers.
"Nothing to apologize for," Santana replied quietly, her eyes burning into mine. I had never seen that look on her before. It was a raw desire.. And fuck, it was sexy.
All I could do was stare at her, panting softly as I watched her eyes flicker between mine and my lips. Even though I did expect it, Santana took me by surprise when she pulled me back against her mouth. This time, she didn't waste a second before her tongue was begging an entrance into my mouth.
My fingers found the hem of Santana's shirt and with a mind of their own, sought out Santana's bare back. I was in trouble. It was addicting, knowing how good the softness felt against the palms of my hands. I wanted her like I had never desired anyone else before. It was a matter of timing now. If Santana kept kissing me like that, little moans and gasps against my mouth, I was going to completely lose control.
Trying my best to fight a losing battle, I shuddered as I pulled away. Santana whimpered at the loss of the kiss, her eyes fluttering open.
"If we don't stop now, this will end up with me fucking you on this bench," I whispered, my breath hitting her parted lips, "So…"
Santana blinked, looking a little dumbfounded. I suppose the thought of her being a virgin hadn't really crossed my mind too much. I didn't care that she was, of course. But this thing between us was special. I didn't want to treat her like everyone else I had hooked up with.
"Yeah… Okay, yeah.. You're right," Santana panted softly, her hands detangling from my hair and moving to grip at my biceps.
"There's a first. Me being right," I smirked, pulling a small giggle out of Santana. Her face was flushed… Absolutely beautiful.
"I… Kind of want to pout right now," Santana chuckled lightly, and I couldn't help but silently agree. I had never felt more frustrated, but blissfully happy at the same time.
"C'mon.. Back to the bike, before she gets jealous that you're getting all the lovin'."
I helped Santana down from the workbench, a little amused to see how frantically messy it had become, and how flustered Santana looked. Her cheeks were a warm shade of pink, her hair a little messy from our make out session.
"Can I help?" Santana asked while fixing her ruffled up shirt.
"Sure.. We're going to replace the back tire," I smiled, fishing in a box of tools and holding up a lug wrench. "Do you know what this is?"
Santana studied the object, her breathing finally having regulated.
"I know I used one of those on a robot I made once,"
"Of course you made a robot," I rolled my eyes with a smile. I honestly didn't care if I even got the motorcycle fixed up at all. As long as I had Santana with me, I was happy.
A/N: Oof it's been a little while and thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for all the wonderful messages and words of love these past few months. I have gone through hell recently with my life literally falling apart, and actually picking this back up is the cure i needed. I hope you are all staying healthy through this crazy year, and I appreciate every single one of you
