Episode 14: Praying for Time

Groom Lake, Nevada, 2022

The blue lightning faded away, leaving Elsa in a darkened, empty cafeteria where she'd vanished just after lunch. She made her way back to the observation room, finding her sweatpants and robe on her workstation.

That's weird. This trip should have been 160 minutes if the durations are doubling like Kai said, she thought. She looked at the clock; it was nearly midnight and no one was in the facility, far more time than should have passed. Mildly concerned, she gathered her belongings and made her way back to her rooms at the barracks. Nothing else seemed out of place, so after an hour or two of tossing and turning, she managed to fall asleep.

The next morning, she woke to find the world as she left it; with her coffee in hand, she made her way back to the laboratory where the team was anxiously awaiting her. Kai and Gerda appeared to be fussing over scanning equipment while Kristoff rolled his chair from workstation to workstation, looking at readings with tired, red eyes and sipping his coffee.

"Doctor Beckett! Are you all right?" Kai rushed up to her as soon as she entered the room, already beginning his scans as Gerda inspected her for additional injuries.

Elsa held her arms up as the crew swarmed around her. "Yes, yes, I'm fine everyone. Thank you - I'm fine. Really. Gooshie, what happened with this trip? I reappeared at midnight last night, way past the 2 hour mark," she asked.

"We don't know," Kristoff exclaimed angrily, looking at the scientists. "These two said you'd be back exactly 160 minutes later, and when that didn't happen, we waited for a few hours more. No one has explained to me what the hell is going on!" He clutched his coffee mug in a vice-like grip, haggard and drawn out. Despite it being the next day, he looked like he hadn't slept at all.

"Kristoff, what-" she started, then simply grabbed him by the elbow. "We'll be right back," she said over her shoulder to the baffled scientists.

Once they were far enough down a utility corridor, she spun on him, impatience written all over her face. "Okay, Kristoff. Spill. What the hell is going on with you? You look like shit."

He cast his eyes to the floor. "I… I'm under a lot of pressure, Elsa. You know that. Weselton's wanting faster results, and- and this whole time travel investigation is really slowing that down," he mumbled.

Elsa reached out to touch his bicep and watched in shock as he flinched from her touch. "Bullshit, Kristoff. I don't need 7 doctorate degrees to know that you're not telling me the truth. Something's burning you from the inside faster than the summer sun on a snowman."

"I- I- I just can't, Elsa. Not now. I… I'm not ready. I promise, I promise I'll tell you, okay? Just… not now. Not when I think you're… never mind. Let's get through this experiment and then I promise I'll tell you everything, from the beginning. Please?" he begged, staring at her with watery eyes.

She exhaled. "All right. I'm going to hold you to that. But I'm telling you right now, you look like shit, and if you don't settle up, I'm going to talk to your CO about an early psych eval," she threatened. "Whatever's going, you can't hold it in forever."

Kristoff nodded glumly. "I know. Can- can we just get back to the lab now, please?"

Elsa glanced at him sideways before nodding and walking back down the corridor. She walked back into the observation room to see Kai and Gerda quietly discussing something. "Gooshie, I think I discovered a couple of things on this last leap."

"As did I, Doctor Beckett. But please, you first," he gestured, bowing at the waist.

She giggled at the anachronism of his bow. "All right. We know memories associated with guilt are the trigger that creates these leaps. This last time, when I had resolved the situation and seen Anna safely past what my memory of the original timeline was, a sense of relief washed over me - and that was when I felt time pulling me back in."

Kai scribbled furiously on his tablet. "Yes, yes, yes. That makes sense, Doctor Beckett. That makes a great deal of sense. Something about the quantum state in your brain interacting with the tachyonic field, triggering the field to change its frequency. Yes, fascinating," he half-spoke, half-muttered, drawing equations on the screen. "What was the second thing?"

Elsa's smile faded. "In the original timeline, Hans almost died of an overdose, but survived and was in the car with Anna when she died. This time, I… killed Hans in an act of self-defense."

The room was suddenly silent. Kristoff was frozen in place, his coffee cup halfway to his mouth, while Kai and Gerda just stared. Long moments passed before Gerda spoke. "Are… you certain, Elsa?"

"Almost certain, yes. But this means that a major event like that can be changed. Someone dying that was a major part of Anna's life - that has to mean that the final outcome really is on the table, in terms of saving her, right?" Elsa asked, looking at each of the people in the room.

Kai looked up at the ceiling as he did equations in his head. "It… is possible, Doctor Beckett. Of course, you had said that in the new timeline, Anna is not romantically involved with this boyfriend, so in theory, the person may not be as important as the role. Perhaps if she is romantically involved with someone else, that person may take the boyfriend's role in the accident."

A wave of nausea swept over Elsa. Kai's logic made sense; Anna was involved with Hans very early on in the original timeline, and as much as she hated him and how he dragged Anna into more and more trouble, the Anna of her past loved him. Which meant that in the adjusted timeline… she was at risk, the Elsa of Anna's time. She shook her head. That made no sense - she couldn't die in the car accident, or else it would create a massive paradox.

Is it possible that saving Anna means somehow not saving my younger self? she wondered grimly, before she snapped back to the moment and what Kai was talking about.

"It's a pity we won't be able to study this more," he concluded.

Elsa looked at him in alarm. "I'm sorry, Gooshie, what do you mean, we won't be able to study this more?"

"Ah, yes. That was what I wanted to tell you, Doctor Beckett. According to my scans, the tachyonic field around you has weakened so substantially that perhaps 10% of the particles remain. That is why you vanished for so much longer on this last leap," he said, reading off the display. He looked up nervously at her, swallowing a lump in his throat as he hesitated. "In fact…"

She rolled her eyes. "Gooshie, spit it out. I'm an adult. I can handle the bad news I see all over your face," she offered with kindness.

Kai cleared his throat. "Yes, of course. Umm, in fact, should you leap again… I am not confident that the field integrity… that it would be strong enough to… permit you to return."

"So what you're saying is that my next leap could be a one-way trip?"

"Yes, but-" he rushed to show his computations, his tablet making all manner of beeping and gurgling sounds. "There's a 56.4% chance you do return, Doctor Beckett. Those odds are not promising, but they are better than zero, of course."

Kristoff leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, his unhappiness apparent. "Flip of a coin whether you get trapped in the past or not. That's a hell of a bet, Elsa."

She took a deep breath. "So basically, I've got one last shot to try and change time, try to save Anna."

Kai dragged a sheaf of papers over to her. "There's one other thing. I ran some calculations on the photonic cannon and the oscillator. It may be possible to send a transmission to a point in time as well. I thought it might be worth attempting to reach the past that way first, rather than risk trapping you."

"Can I ask the obvious question here, guys?" Kristoff said, rubbing the back of his head. "Why can't Elsa just use the oscillator again like she did the first time? It's worked once already."

"Because the tachyonic field would not be the same and could conflict with the one she's already in, Colonel Calavicci," Kai said with just a hint of condescension. "Imagine trying to hear the final notes of a song and someone begins playing a new song - or even the same song - from the beginning at full volume."

"You'd never hear both songs properly."

Kai snapped his fingers. "Just so, Colonel. The two songs would get muddied together. And in this case, it's not just songs but Doctor Beckett's body and soul that could be irreversibly scrambled."

Elsa grimaced. "So… my next trip is my last, regardless. Whether I come back or not is the question. I'm not sure using the photonic cannon would have any substantial effect, Gooshie, mainly because I don't know anyone would be looking for such an unorthodox method of communication. I'd be out of phase with everything there. I think it's… I have one shot left."

Kai nodded and placed his tablet on the desk, looking at Elsa seriously. "Indeed, Doctor Beckett. Perhaps you should take the day and contemplate the situation?"

"There's nothing to contemplate, Gooshie." She gave him a small smile, patting him on the arm before looking at the rest of the group. "I know exactly where and when I need to go. The day Anna dies. And I need to go before I accidentally remember something else that could send me elsewhere. But before I do…"

She hugged Kai warmly. "Thank you, Gooshie, for being such an amazing project leader with me. I couldn't have done this - any of this - without you."

Another hug. "And you, Gerda. Thank you for looking after me the last couple of years, keeping me from imploding. I owe you so much." She squeezed the grey-haired doctor tightly, a tear dripping down each of their cheeks. Gerda had practically been a second mother to her the last couple of years.

She saved the strongest hug for last. "You're a good friend, Kristoff. I hope I come back, and if I do, we're having that conversation. If I don't, promise me you will talk to someone, okay?"

Kristoff squeezed his eyes shut, willing his tears to remain imprisoned and failing miserably at it. "I… Elsa… thank you. That's the only thing I can think of to say. Thank you for everything. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I-" he stuttered, trying to speak his mind, but his inner demons won the battle. "I'm sorry."

She patted him on the shoulder one last time before closing her eyes. This last memory required no effort at all to conjure; she'd spent the better part of a decade trying NOT to remember it every single day. Like an old lover's song that's never far from memory, she remembered the day Anna died.

It was just after Anna's 21st birthday, when she'd come home, high as a kite, and announced she was going to marry Hans. Elsa had castigated her fiercely, calling Hans every name in the book and shouting that Anna had no idea what true love was, but marrying your dealer almost certainly wasn't it. They'd both screamed at each other for an hour before Anna stomped off in rage.

She'd turned one last time to excoriate Elsa before she said she was going to a Panic at the Disco concert with Hans, and that Elsa had better not be at their parents' house when she got back.

The pain of that day stabbed into Elsa's heart as though it had just happened. She never moved on from that day, not really, despite all her accomplishments in the 20 years since. This was her last chance to set things right.

Familiar tingling began at her fingertips, and she smiled, looking up at her team. "I'll see you… when I see you," she said. Just as she started to wave goodbye, her eyes widened.

The lightning was yellow, not blue.

Before she could react, time pulled her away.

In the silence afterwards, the scientists walked out of the room, somber in their acknowledgement of the sacrifice Elsa was making. Kristoff remained frozen where he was, staring at the oscillator and the empty space Elsa had left behind, despair and anguish written all over his face.


Author's Notes

This is it for Elsa. One shot, one last opportunity to save Anna from certain death. But she's in for a surprise - Anna will not be her next stop on her journey.


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