Chapter 21

When they got back in the house, Serena and Bernie looked like they were ready to go shopping. "What's going on?" asked Olivia.

"Well, we were waiting for you two to come back. We'd like to go to Home Depot for some paint and supplies. Plus, I need some batteries and some lanterns if this storm is as bad as they are predicting" answered Bernie. She turned towards Serena. "Usually during storms, I just shut the shutters, light some candles and hunker down with a good book, but this time, I think we need a bit more than candles." Serena had her eyes downcast, steadfastly ignoring her mother, but they opened wide at Bernie's declaration so she looked up.

"Gramma, do you really think it will be dark, like black? But we are up, not under!" she said in a very high pitched voice. "I hate storms! They are loud and the ground gets soaking wet and it's so, so cold but there's no dry place. It gets way too dark. Gramma, I...mmmmmm…" she looked frustrated.

"Shhh, baby. It's okay" said Liv even though Serena kept her eyes on Bernie. She had yet to wrap her head around the fact that her daughter was kept in a hole in the ground. She never even contemplated how the weather would affect that. "Elliot, why don't you take them and get whatever we need. I really need a shower" she smiled as she said it causing him to grin.

"Let's go!' he proclaimed as he grabbed his keys and headed out. Before he made it to the door, he stopped, walked back to Olivia, and gave her a kiss before resting his forehead against hers. They stood that way for a moment, causing Bernie to smile. Inside Serena smiled to. They were still her parents and it took them long enough.

The Home Depot was packed with residents getting ready for the first storm of the summer. Elliot left Bernie and Serena in the paint section while he ran around collecting supplies to see them through until morning. He wasn't sure what his mom had at home, but he had a feeling that it was no more than a couple of half-burned candles and an ancient flashlight. The worker was just hammering the top onto the paint can when he returned to them. "Ready? I wanna finish cleaning the grill and get dinner going. Those clouds look like they are picking up speed."

As they were piling back into the jeep, Elliot paused and took something out of his pocket. He held a bottle of water out to Serena and he leaned against the back door, giving her no choice but to look up. "You have to take these now, the rest later" he said holding out his palm with three pills: two small, round white ones, one larger oval shaped pinkish one. She just stood staring between the bottle and the pills in his hand, shaking her head. "Yes, the doctor said you needed to take these to…. either cure something or make you stronger. I forget which right now. Here." He immediately noticed how her expression changed from defiance to what could only be classified as fear when he quoted Dr. Paxton. Shit. He just said, "the doctor". Did he give her pills? Did he force drugs into her system? He didn't have much of a chance to contemplate the answer before Serena screamed.

"NO!" She knocked the pills out of his hand and onto the parking lot where she promptly ground them beneath her foot. "I said no doctor anything! You can't make me! I WON'T LET YOU!" she finally stood her full height, which was only about up to his mid chest, and looked Elliot dead in the eye. Dead in the eye was accurate. He just stared back at her, knowing passersby were now looking their way. Elliot shook his head and walked around to the driver's side and started the car. Serena still stood there, looking at the chalky substance left on the blacktop.

This is bullshit. "Get. In. The. Car." he commanded through gritted teeth. As soon as she slammed the door, which she did on purpose, he sped away.

-SVU-

Liv had a genuine smile on her face. She hadn't had one in so long it felt both strange and wonderful. Elliot kissed her. Hell, Elliot had his fingers inside of her, controlling her, making her feel things she has honestly never felt before. She was no stranger to sex of course; every position, every way but this feeling, this was different. This had, well, feelings behind it. Elliot didn't just make her cum; he made her his, and they both knew it. She knew the moment she saw Serena from the top of the hill that she wasn't going back to SVU, but she was okay with that because now they would take on a new partnership. At least, the partnership they vehemently denied for almost 20 years. So, she smiled as she showered. She smiled as she dressed. And she continued to smile as she peeled and chopped potatoes and other veggies to go with dinner. She just mixed the mayonnaise into the potato salad when the door opened.

"Can we get started Gramma?" she heard Serena ask but it seemed she didn't have the same enthusiasm as before. She looked like she was trying to bottle up her anger, but what the hell pissed her off this time?

"Oh sweetie. I think I need a break hon. I'm sorry" Bernie answered. Liv remembered Maddie's note and almost kicked herself for not looking out for her. She was suffering emotional stress as were the rest of them but given her age and the fact that Olivia wasn't paying attention if Bernie was taking her meds, she felt terrible. She walked over to the older woman.

"Bernie, I am sorry. I've been so caught up and selfish and there's so much going on for you too. Please, please sit and I'll make a cup of tea. Or would you prefer lemonade?" She led Bernie to the couch and guided her to sit.

"Oh Olivia. Don't apologize. Your head and your heart are right where they should be, and don't you worry about me. But a cup of tea would be nice dear" Bernie conceded as she put her feet up, looking out the window. "Those are some serious clouds, but nothing we can't handle. Elliot got enough batteries to power Las Vegas!"

Olivia set the tea in Bernie's hands and watched Serena stand by the back window, never taking her eyes off the clouds. Liv knew her daughter was angry about this morning, about a lot of things, but she also knew that fear was the emotion that would win out tonight. Once those clouds got close enough, they would be stuck inside, and Serena would feel trapped again, in the dark. Honestly, Olivia would prefer Serena be pissed off than scared any day. At least this time she wouldn't be alone, and they had an arsenal of candles and flashlights. She could see Elliot outside rinsing off the grill. It took less time than she figured to clean but then again, he started yesterday before Fin called. "What can I do?" she asked the older woman.

"Well, the outside furniture and anything else needs to be brought into the garage as I can see the wind picking up. We can eat outside if you want and that set gets chained down after, Elliot knows what to do with the grill. Then we need to close the shutters, turn on the radio, and wait it out." Bernie called out to Serena. "Don't worry dear. We'll all be okay." She didn't move from her spot, but Liv wasn't about to let her lose herself when the storm was still offshore.

"Serena. Go collect all the shovels and things that you've taken out as well as anything else that may blow away and bring them to the garage, then we'll stack the chairs." Serena still had her back turned and remembering what Elliot said about calling her out on her shit, Liv spoke louder. "That wasn't a suggestion young lady. You brought all that stuff out, now bring it in before it gets blown away or causes damage to someone's property." Liv absolutely hated raising her voice to her baby girl. She never had to before, but then again, Serena had changed.

The young teen startled a bit at her mother's orders but jumped at the chance to be outside for as long as she could. She did what she was told just because it was the right thing to do. Despite her anger at her parents, she would always do what they asked, within reason. Once everything was in order and Elliot was done cooking dinner, the adults opted to eat in the kitchen as the wind had really picked up, making it uncomfortable to eat outside. Serena begrudgingly brought the food in while Elliot and Olivia chained down the patio set, but they had to wait for the grill to cool before securing it.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Elliot had yet to tell Olivia about Serena's reaction to taking her pills and of course, Serena was still on a silent parental strike, leaving Bernie to try and lead the conversation. She gave up rather quickly. Liv was glad to see that despite the horror of a day the child had, she hadn't lost her appetite as she devoured 2 burgers, a hot dog, 2 helpings of potato salad and grilled vegetables. Liv was hungry herself. At least Serena had a sandwich for lunch! They heard the first rumble of thunder as they were clearing the dishes. As soon as it boomed, Serena dropped the plate she was drying and jumped about a foot in the air.

"I'm ssssooooo sssorrry Gramma" she stammered. Damn, the stutter was back but she was too damn nervous to try and correct it. That seemed to be the key to it, her nerves. She was angry, not scared when she yelled perfectly clear earlier and she was holding onto that anger as she took control when talking to Bernie, whom she was not afraid of, but that control was slipping away as the storm drew closer.

"I got it, baby. Back up" Liv said as she bent down to collect the pieces. Serena didn't move from her spot as another shot of thunder rumbled not far ahead.

"What happened?" asked Elliot as he came in from securing the grill and all the shutters. The only thing left was the patio door and he would leave that open until the very last second. He saw Olivia cleaning something off the floor and Serena just standing there.

"Nothing" answered Liv. "A plate just slipped." It was all taken care of before he even had a chance to question further.

"Okay, I'm gonna grab a quick shower. The Home Depot bags are by the front door. Serena, let's go." Serena turned towards him with a confused look on her face. She still didn't look him in the eye. "Bathroom. Dr. Paxton said you needed to pee more often and unless you want to go in the dark, get moving now." Elliot knew he sounded harsh, but he had a feeling this was the only way to get through to her right now. For two years she was treated like shit, so he wouldn't resort to that, but some things she did not have a say in and he needed her to know that.

Serena continued to stand where she was, debating her options but of course as soon as Elliot mentioned it, she instantly had to go. Elliot huffed and walked into his room, snapping her out of her thoughts. She walked towards the bathroom and stood outside with her head down. When he was ready, he turned his back to the doorway, but Serena just stood there watching him. She had no idea he was too pissed off to remember to check and she had vowed not to speak to him again, so she didn't ask. She simply stood there looking from him into the bathroom.

Don't give in man. Be stern, it's for her own good. Why the fuck is she just standing there? She knows I'm waiting for her! Just when he was about to ask, he remembered; she would wait for him to check. God! What is that all about? He walked into the bathroom, placed his stuff on the edge of the bathtub, and proceeded to check in the toilet. He could see Serena standing on her tiptoes just outside the door, watching his every move. She walked in as he walked out and stood guard. He saw Olivia watching from the kitchen and as they made eye contact, she simply winked. What the hell does that mean?

He heard Serena hiss and try to stifle a sound of pain, but he was attuned to the Benson women, so he of course heard. He remembered the doctor mentioning the samples she took and some pain the child might feel. He didn't want to embarrass her any further by asking and he wasn't about to turn around, so he just stood where he was, silently hoping she knew that he was there for her through everything.

-SVU-

Serena quietly whimpered as Elliot closed the storm door, effectively locking out the "outside." It was just in time too as the wind was whipping. Summer storms at the beach were worse than winter storms. At least in the winter, it was straight snow. Summer meant strong winds and even stronger waves and higher tides. At least it wasn't anywhere near hurricane level and tomorrow was set to be quite pleasant. The lights had been flickering since he got out of the shower and Liv was setting up the lanterns and the candles; just in time too as she was satisfied they were all in the right places, they were thrust into darkness. They heard a shuffle but didn't see anything as she tried to light the first candle. Bernie had her lantern on first though. Serena was nowhere in sight. Liv hurriedly lit candles as Elliot turned on lanterns. When the room was sufficiently lit, just short of an overhead light brightness, they found Serena under the table by the wall with her knees in her chest, her head buried in her knees, and her arms wrapped around her head rocking, but not making a sound.

Elliot got to her first. "Come on out" he said gently, adopting the voice he uses with victims. "Look, it's not even dark." He tried to get her to look up, but she refused. He knew however that this was not her being defiant or angry, this was her reaction to the darkness, her fear of...whatever happened in that damn hole and beyond. He shined his flashlight right where he knew her eyes were by her knees. She couldn't miss the brightness. She finally looked up and blinked into the light. "Here" he said holding the fattest flashlight she had ever seen out to her. "You can have this one. The battery in that will last all summer." He thought his comment would lighten the mood, all his anger at her angry behavior gone as he remembered in that moment that she was still just a scared little girl.

She gingerly reached out and wrapped her fingers around the handle, pulling it away from Elliot. She then held it in both hands so tightly that he could see her knuckles turn white. She shined it in her own face causing her glasses to darken. "Be careful" he said. "Those glasses will only protect your eyes from so much." She simply stared at him until the thunder rumbled again. Elliot had never seen a child go from crouched on the floor to pacing by the door as fast as Serena moved. Instantly, she was out from under the table and on her feet before Elliot could even put his heels down. Movements like that only came from years of practice running away from danger. He stood over by Olivia as they watched their daughter pace the entire length of the living room, holding the lit flashlight tightly in both hands, just under her chin.

Bernie couldn't watch any longer. "Serena darling, you're making me dizzy! Won't you come sit with me and I'll read you one of my favorite stories?" She stopped her pacing for just a moment to look at her grandmother. She seemed to be seriously considering the offer when the unfortunate timing of the wind knocked against the patio set, causing a bang and she was off again.

No matter what anyone said, Serena walked the perimeter. Olivia could tell she was trying to control her breathing, but even if she started to hyperventilate, there was no way Serena would stop and let anyone put her mask on. Bernie had gone to her room hours ago, Elliot was dozing, sprawled out on the couch and Olivia was sitting on the arm of the couch next to him. His arm was laid just around her bottom. She took comfort in the deep rumble of his snoring as she helplessly watched her daughter. She had no clue how the child was still on her feet! Dr. Paxton had given her a sedative that she expertly fought off, and between that, the stress of the day, and all her terrible sleeping habits, Serena should have been in a fricken coma! Instead, she paced. Olivia had lost all track of time, but the candles were burned down to liquid when she noticed that the relentless pounding of rain could no longer be heard. Serena seemed to come to the same conclusion as she ran to the patio door and turned towards her mother.

"Check?" It was the first word she had spoken to Liv since screaming that she was a liar this morning. Yesterday morning? Anyway, Liv was not about to say no so she extricated herself from Elliot's arm and walked over to where Serena was standing. She couldn't make out anything through the door due to the frosted design on the storm windows, but she was confident nothing would happen just by peeking. The sound Serena expelled made Liv glad that she did. As they looked outside, they could just make out the orangey glow of the sun trying to rise over the water. There was still a light rain, but the wind had died down and they could tell it was going to be a gorgeous day.

Serena pushed past her mother and stood on the patio, just at the edge of the awning. She took several deep breaths as Olivia stood by her side. Storms never bothered her but damn, she was never as glad to see the dawn as she was in this moment. "I'm not going to ask you to come back inside, but please put this on" she said as she removed the sweatshirt she had put on sometime during the night and held it out to her daughter. Serena barely moved, and she just held out one arm at a time so Liv put it on for her and reached around front to zip it up.

"I am going to tell Elliot to go to bed. He's gonna wake up complaining about his neck or his back or something from sleeping the way he has been. I will be right back." Serena didn't answer, but Liv could barely make out an almost imperceptible nod before she turned to go inside.

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