A/N: listen, there is no such thing as too many bonkai stories. (you can also find it on ao3!)
You'd chase me naked through the palace garden
Before we dove into a sparkling champagne fountain
Eating cake with a little golden butter
They never even knew that I got here from the gutter
poppy - aristocrat
"You shouldn't have come here."
Bonnie doesn't even bother to look up. She could sense them even before she could hear their footsteps down the cobblestones. But, given that they've blocked her only exist, she can't really do much about it. To be fair, she didn't think anyone would follow her down here. She has waded through icy sewer water and dangerously narrow corridors made of literal skulls to arrive at this hidden room in the ossuary. Maybe she was naïve to think no one would be prowling the secret chambers of the Paris Catacombs in winter, but she doesn't think she should pay for that naivety.
Maybe they just want to talk.
Yeah, right, she thinks, rising to her feet and dusting off her knees. When have other witches just wanted to talk to her?
She turns around, arms at the ready. And then drops them.
Okay, she thought they would be a gang of four or five. But there are at least twenty witches gathered in the small opening of the chamber, coming through. And who knows how many waiting.
Fuck.
The leader, a bald-headed guy in his 40s who's wearing all leather but who looks like he could do your taxes points an angry finger at her.
"You shouldn't be surprised, Bonnie Bennett. Did you really think there wouldn't be retribution?"
The other men and women around him murmur their assent.
Bonnie takes a step back. "Retribution for what? You'll have to be more specific."
The leader scowls. "You know what you did. Imprisoned our coven leader until it almost drove him mad. Then ran off to Europe like a coward."
Bonnie frowns. "That's not the reason I'm in Europe. I've been travelling a lot, but I haven't been hiding."
"Clearly," he sneers. "You must've thought you were pretty safe."
Bonnie knows she has to stall. Her magic levels are low because she spent quite a bit of it opening up some of these sealed chambers. The spark feels sluggish in her veins. She needs more time.
"I hope you didn't spend all that money on plane tickets for me," she quips.
The leader grins. "Don't worry. We were all excited to meet you. And end you. The last great Bennett witch. You're practically royalty."
"Uhh, thank you?"
"Killing you will certainly unleash a great amount of power."
"What if killing me kills you?" she shoots back, scanning her surroundings in trepidation.
"That's why there are more of us than you," he says, lifting his hand. Five more witches follow his example.
Bonnie can feel the tug of the spell, pulling her off her feet. She clenches her fingers into claws and with a force that makes her quake she dislodges several bones from the ossuary and launches them at their heads. But the witches have their shields up. They barely scratch their clothes.
Bonnie raises her own shields, but they start wobbling and trembling when ten more people join the fight, aiming hexes at her from every side.
"Why do you even need retribution?" she shouts over their chanting. "I already released your coven leader! I did it months ago!"
The spells don't stop.
She groans. "Matter of fact, why isn't he here with you? Did he just send his foot soldiers?"
This gets a reaction from baldy. "Our leader is still recovering after what you've done to him. He was not strong enough to join us. But he'll soon return to power."
"And you decided to do this without him?" Bonnie shouts, aiming a few flames at two brazen witches who'd come closer to her than the rest. "He won't like it. He would've wanted front row seats at this event."
"He'll be present at your funeral, if you like," baldy replies, sending a strong hex which makes her shield bounce. The other witches double their attacks. Bonnie falters and falls to her knees. There's blood on her lips. Her nose is bleeding. Uh-oh.
She closes her eyes and forces her magic to expand and encompass the entire room. But she's not strong enough. There's too many.
No, you have to. You once stopped hellfire.
But she's not sure she can summon her ancestors again, even in a place which has, ironically, preserved so many ancestors.
It's silly to think she'll die like this. But if she has to die, she'll pull down the catacombs with her and make sure they regret cornering her.
Bonnie hopes her shield will last long enough. They've already pierced through and she can feel their magic on her skin, tearing at her flesh. She raises her hands to the ceiling.
But before she can even dislodge a stone, the spells stop.
The air smells of burning. It crackles with magic. Bonnie's vision blurs.
The witches part like the sea for Moses and a new figure emerges from their midst.
Or rather, an old one.
His followers are stunned. They all hastily bow their heads to the coven leader.
"Master! You're here!" baldy cries out in awe. "But we thought you were unable to –"
Malachai Parker struts before them wearing his most elegant winter coat. He lifts a few fingers in acknowledgement. "Master always finds a way."
Even in her state, Bonnie can't help rolling her eyes. God, he's obnoxious.
Kai turns his head and meets her glare.
"I couldn't miss seeing my favorite girl go down in flames. Literally," he says as a small flame kindles in the palm of his hand.
"That all you got?" Bonnie drawls, spitting blood on the floor.
Kai grins. "Always so greedy."
She huffs. "Says the siphoner."
"Oh, that reminds me." He calls to his followers. "Group hug, everyone!"
The witches all crowd around him and put their hands on him eagerly, as if he were a precious effigy. Kai embraces them gleefully and his magic pulses red at the theft.
After he's had his fill, he pushes them aside gently, patting their cheeks, and walks up to his kneeling prize. He bends down to eye-level.
"I didn't really need to hug all of them. I already drained a couple of witches on my way here," he says with a flirty wink.
Bonnie glowers. "Why are you telling me this?"
"I just want you to know I don't have any performance issues."
Bonnie can feel her eyes leaving her sockets from the excessive rolling. "Why did I ever release you? Why couldn't I just make an urn out of you? I can even picture the perfect spot on the mantelpiece."
He chuckles fondly. "Please tell me it'd be next to that picture of you in your cheer outfit."
Bonnie smiles, sweet and venomous. "It can still be arranged. Just call off your hounds."
"Oh, you don't have to worry about them," he says dismissively.
But his followers look ready for another attack. They're only waiting for his signal.
"Uhh, I'm gonna keep worrying, thank you very much."
Kai smirks. He reaches out and cups her cheek.
Bonnie stills.
His thumb brushes her upper lip. He wipes the blood away.
"Naughty girl. Didn't I tell you I'm the only one who's allowed to kill you?"
She hates that her voice comes out a little hoarse. "I don't think they know that."
Kai smiles. He steals a glance over his shoulder. When his eyes return to hers they are cold and sharp and full of ire. Even after so much time, it spooks her, how much rage he contains, how quickly the monster comes to the surface.
"Yeah, I think it's time they learned."
Kai whips around and faces his coven. His vampiric speed is unmatched. Before she can blink, he has decapitated five of them with his bare hands.
Bonnie closes her eyes as blood spurts in the air like fountains.
His spells have no sense of proportion. He is ripping hearts, breaking bones, twisting necks, slamming people into walls, all in a maelstrom of furious, uncontained magic that shakes the ossuary from floor to ceiling. Bonnie wonders if they'll all be buried alive, after all.
But the ever-calculating bastard reinforces the walls and the ceiling with the corpses of his followers.
A few manage to escape down the corridor, but they don't make it very far.
Their screams make her blood curdle, but she can't say she feels too sorry for them.
No, when all is said and done, she finds that her conscience is quite clear.
Kai returns to her before long. He hovers over her, drenched in blood. A familiar sight.
He offers her his hand. She takes it gingerly. He helps her up, snaking an arm around her waist. He doesn't remove it when she's on her feet again.
Bonnie plants her hands in his chest. "Let me guess. You were here early but you let them have some fun with me before you made your big entrance."
Kai grins, cradling her hands in his. "You know me so well, Bonster."
She kicks him in the knee. Hard.
"Ow! What's that for?"
"Making me wait," she returns, pushing past him. But he's quick, always quick. He grabs her before she can take another step.
"Hey, I didn't kick you in the knee when you released me from that Spin Doctors nightmare. In fact, I was the one on my knees, if you recall. You were on the bed and we were -"
Bonnie fights a blush. "Yes, I was there."
Was it unwise to have sex with Kai Parker right after releasing him from a prison world? Yes.
Does she regret it? Also yes.
Well, actually… it's complicated.
In her defense, she released him because she didn't actually want him to die, and he was sort of wasting away in that bar. She'd armed herself with magic after his release, knowing he'd want revenge, but when he arrived at her apartment in the city, looking haggard and exhausted, all he did was push past her and crash on her bed where he slept for the next forty-eight hours. She may have taken off his shoes and pulled the covers over him. She may have even made him some healing tea and gotten him a blood bag, like an idiot.
Somewhere in the middle of the night, on the second day of his beauty sleep, he woke up and found her sleeping in an armchair at the foot of the bed, a book in her lap. Later, he told her he'd thought about killing her first, but then – no one had ever done that for him, stayed up and watched over him as he slept. He found himself feeling generous. So he knelt before her armchair and slowly tugged at her yoga pants. He pressed kisses to her thighs until she woke up with a start.
She could've probably pushed him off right there and then. But it was late and she was sleepy and also relieved he hadn't fallen into a coma, and his mouth felt so fucking good, especially when his kisses nipped at her magic.
The fact that they then continued the whole thing in her bed is unpardonable. Like, she has no excuse for that, except to say that maybe their sexual chemistry had reached boiling point. She hates to recall how nasty they got, and yet how right it felt, how well his body fit against hers, how – in spite of all the unorthodox ways he fucked her – it almost felt innocent. Sometimes, in the throes of it, she'd look into his eyes and see the surprise there, because he hadn't expected her to open her arms and cradle the snake at her breast and she hadn't expected that snake to be the only thing that was warm, the only kind of intimacy she could bear.
Did they then spend the next three days eating junk food and having sex in her bed?
Maybe. Maybe they were both starved.
Kai knows what she's thinking. Or rather, what she's remembering.
He brushes his nose against her nose. He's about to kiss her, because they're still hungry, even now.
Just then, one of the fallen witches gives out a pained moan and lifts his bloodied head from the floor.
Kai heaves a sigh. He flicks his wrist and snaps his neck, rendering him quiet.
"Trying to have a moment with my girlfriend, dude."
Bonnie winces. "Girlfriend?"
"Do you prefer 'lover'? Sweetheart? Bonnie-Boo? Mistress of my heart?"
She elbows him in the chest. He swoops down and kisses her, for real this time.
She licks the blood off his lips and wraps her arms around his neck.
Maybe he's right. She's always so greedy.
Afterwards, he leads her out of the chamber, guiding her steps carefully so that she doesn't trip on someone's entrails.
It's sort of sweet.
She walks among the fallen with her head held high, almost like she really were royalty.
When they turn into a wider corridor, he picks her up and speeds her out of the catacombs.
She welcomes coming up to the land of the living. The cool night air is a wonderful change after those moldy caverns and that tangy smell of blood.
Kai watches her intently. "So, why the hell were you down there alone in the first place?"
She huffs. "It will sound stupid, but I was trying to find some bones. A particular set of bones belonging to a particular witch."
"A Bennett witch?"
"Uh-huh."
"Yeah, that was stupid. Lucky for you, I can track down your magic."
"How long have you been following me?"
"Just the last month. I felt left out."
"I did write you an email about my trip."
"You know I can't read."
She snorts. Okay, it's a full-blown laugh. He's so fucking awful and it really works for her.
"You know, if you didn't brainwash your followers and set them against me, I wouldn't have been in danger in the first place," she points out, trying to stick to her argument.
"Can I help it if I'm so charming and charismatic?"
"Yes, actually."
"I won't brainwash the next ones. Promise."
"Do you really need a coven?"
"Hey, do we need a coven?" he emphasizes, pulling her into his arms again.
It hurts how hard she rolls her eyes.
"So, wanna come back to my suite?"
Bonnie narrows her eyes. "When you say 'my suite', do you mean the suite you compelled people out of?"
Kai grins. "Hey, at least I didn't kill any of them."
"Wow, I guess you deserve a medal."
"Actually…" he trails off and leans forward, whispering in her ear what he thinks he really deserves.
Bonnie scowls and pushes him off her.
"Do you really think I'm in the mood for that after I almost died and watched you decapitate a bunch of people?"
They stare into each other's eyes.
Fuck. Why did she have to spell it out like that?
She knows his desire is reflected in her eyes.
"Okay," she concedes, "but we are not doing a three-day marathon again. The first UTI was painful enough."
Kai picks her up like she weighs nothing and plants his hand firmly on her ass. "Hey, we're in Paris. We're not gonna lie in bed all day. We're gonna see the sights."
She clings to his bloody coat. "We better."
They spend five days in bed.
On the fifth day they open a window.
Bonnie lies with her head on his chest. She stares up at the ceiling. She has been both filled with and depleted of magic repeatedly. He's drunk her blood and fed it back to her. She's still got the holes in her neck because she didn't bother to heal them. It feels like she consumed industrial amounts of heroin. It feels like he fucked her out of a functioning cortex. Actually, it feels like that weird chemical reaction in your brain that's supposed to be love.
"We should…go see the sights…" she mumbles.
Kai runs his fingers down her sweaty arm. "Yeah…we have time…tomorrow…"
"Mmm…tomorrow…"
Maybe they'll go back to the catacombs and find her ancestor. They should probably drop by a pharmacy too; she can already feel a sting. Then they'll have dinner on the Seine. He'll say something really annoying and she'll stab him with the butter knife, just like old times.
She turns her head towards him. He looks at her like he has the same plans. Like he's always game for whatever she'll do next; kiss, kill, maim, imprison, and repeat.
She chooses option number one.
He catches her mouth in a bruising kiss and they tumble back into oblivion.
The catacombs and Paris and the whole world can wait.
