a/n: This chapter really had to be pulled out kicking and screaming. Sorry for the later update than normal but here we go...
As the weeks went by, Jane developed a routine of teaching, going to the gym, cooking and hanging out at a local bookstore coffeehouse. When she was surrounded by people reading and books she was reminded of Maura and the woman's endless knowledge. She hadn't made any friends other than Agent Davies and found herself not making an effort to get to know anyone. No one could compare to Maura and her family in Boston. She couldn't call home without feeling immense sadness, so she rarely called Maura or her family, resorting to texting instead. It left her lonely and remembering the times she shared with Maura in Paris.
The blonde waltzed into their room, an excited smile on her face. Jane eyed her friend warily. "What's up Maura?"
"I have an idea of what we should do today!" Maura clapped her hands together with an excited shimmy.
Jane quirked an eyebrow. "Care to tell me?"
Maura shook her head, her grin widening as she pulled Jane up from where she was sitting. "It's a surprise!"
Jane groaned rolling her eyes but proceeded to get ready. "Maura, you know I hate surprises." The brunette hopped from foot to foot, pulling her shoes onto her feet. "You better not be taking me to some historical site"
Maura shrugged a twinkle in her eye. "I promise, you'll like it." Unable to say no, Jane found herself following her friend through the streets of Paris before arriving at their destination. By the time they arrived, Jane was hungry, hot, sweaty, and feeling her irritation growing.
"Maura where are we?" The brunette asked the edge to her voice not lost on her friend.
Jane watched as Maura's body sagged as if her excitement was being drained from her body. Jane mentally kicked herself for sounding like such an ass.
"Les Catacombs de Paris" came the doctor's quiet reply. "I'm sorry, I thought it would be a perfect combination of things I like and things you like. You know, history for me, death and stories for you. We can go if you don't want to see it."
After hearing Maura's explanation of where they were, Jane felt like an even bigger jerk. Maura's eyes were trained on the ground in front of her.
Jane sighed, putting her index finger below Maura's chin and raising it up so their eyes locked. "I'm an ass." Maura's lips twitched into a small smile as she nodded in agreement. "Seeing the Catacombs is a great idea, I'm sorry I let my irritation get to me. Let's go look at some old skeletons!" the brunette made an exaggerated after you gesture, to which Maura let out a laugh.
The day was filled exploring the Catacombs and learning about the history behind them. Jane couldn't help but glance at Maura, seeing the unwavering concentration she had on the tour guide. Maura's eyebrows were faintly creased and it was like Jane could see her mind spinning, incorporating the new information she learned into her previous knowledge. Jane was half listening to the tour guide, more interested in her friend beside her, watching her face as she listened. Something she always admired about the doctor was how smart she was. Jane was constantly blown away by her brilliance and loved watching her learn new things and listening to her google-mouth. Every once and a while, the doctor would turn to her, eyes wide with excitement and gush about something the guide had said. It was so adorably Maura, the detective felt a sense of calm and utter happiness wash over her.
The ringing of the bell above the bookstore's door brought the brunette back to the present and she let out a sigh, once again realizing how much she missed Maura and Boston.
Back in Boston, Maura's life was full of new cases, volunteering at MEND, and writing. The week prior, Angela and Maura had taken over for a helpless Nina and Frankie and were now planning their wedding. She threw herself into every new project in an attempt to be alone as little as possible. When she was alone her thoughts raced and she felt Jane's absence like a piece of her heart was missing. Talking to the brunette had become so painful that Maura resorted to texting and only called Jane once a week. Jane didn't call her often either, so Maura assumed she was enjoying life in Quantico.
Now, Angela and Maura were standing in Maura's kitchen discussing wedding details over a glass of wine.
"What do you think of lining the isles with lavender flowers?" Angela asked tapping her pencil against her lips, leaning against Maura's kitchen island.
"That's a great idea" came the doctor's absentminded reply. Angela flicked her gaze up to examine the blonde, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
The older woman took in Maura's appearance. To anyone else, Maura would seem fine and as immaculately dressed as ever, but Angela wasn't anyone else. She noticed the occasional button forgotten to be fastened until the last minute, the lack of accessories and how the doctor wore the same pair of navy heels almost every day. Then her eyes fell upon Maura's face and she could just make out the dark circles where the make-up was wearing off. She knew the younger woman wasn't sleeping much and was so worried about her. Jane's absence had been hard on everyone, but she had a feeling it was the hardest on the blonde standing in front of her.
"Maura, honey, what's wrong?" the doctor's gaze snapped up to meet Angela's.
"Nothing, why?"
Angela let out a sigh moving closer to where Maura was standing. "We both know that is not true. I see the lights on all the time so I know you haven't been sleeping well" Angela knew she nailed it when the doctor began to fidget uncomfortably in front of her. Angela placed her hand on Maura's shoulder. "Talk to me, Maura."
"I can't" Angela heard the tightness in the women's voice and her heart broke at the sound.
"Why not?"
The blonde let out a sigh and looked towards the ceiling, fighting back tears. "I just can't."
"Maura, I care about you, please, whatever it is I can handle it." The older woman's hands gripped Maura's in her own.
At that, the younger woman felt her walls falling, the pain and confusion she had been feeling for the past weeks bubbling to the surface. If she couldn't tell Jane, she might as well tell the next best thing. "I'm in love with Jane." As soon as the words left her mouth, the blonde shut her eyes terrified of the reaction her confession would have.
"Maura look at me."
Maura opened her eyes, expecting to find Angela angry, confused or even disgusted but that's not what she saw reflected in the woman's gaze. Instead, she saw sympathy and understanding. The blonde furrowed her eyebrows in a questioning gesture.
"Maura, do you think I'm a fool?" The doctor shook her head, still confused. "Of course I know you love Jane. It was clear before she left and has become so obvious since she's been gone. You're lost without her"
The blonde sniffled nodding. "How long have you known?"
"Oof, a while" the Italian said with a wave of her hand. "And Janie feels the same way. She's just too stubborn to admit it to herself. She needs you to make the first move."
Maura violently shook her head, tears rimming her hazel eyes. "I can't Angela. I can't put myself out there like that. I can't lose her."
Angela sighed. "You can't keep living like this either, Maura. Sooner or later you have to tell her or it will eat you up inside."
The blonde was silent, processing Angela's words. The older woman had a point, she really couldn't keep living like this, it was slowly destroying her.
"Okay" she whispered. She didn't know when she would tell Jane, but she knew she had to at some point.
"Okay" Angela repeated moving around to the other side of the island where her notebook and pencil lay forgotten. "Now, when do you want to do the cake testing?" Maura smiled through her tears at the woman who had become more like a mother to her than the two she actually had. She always wanted a mother like Angela Rizzoli, and because of Jane she had one. It was just another reason she loved the brunette: she gave her a family.
"Maybe next Saturday?" the doctor replied and Angela nodded, jotting the date down in the notebook. "Oh and Angela, could we keep this between us please? I need to be the one to tell Jane"
Angela nodded, hoping the blonde would tell her daughter sooner rather than later. After all, she wasn't getting any younger and still wanted more grandchildren.
