Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Merlin. I do not own Harry Potter, either (this isn't a crossover, I just used an idea from the Philospher's Stone, you'll know it when you see it). The only thing I own is Gewilnes, in as much as anyone can own a character.

Author's Note: This is my first ever piece of published fanfiction! I've been lurking here for years and finally got up the courage to submit something (if it works, that is, I am struggling to figure out the publishing aspect of the platform). Anyway, reads and reviews would be much appreciated! I'm going to try to not be one of those authors that begs for reviews (not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just something that I would like to avoid), but I felt like I should include that anyway. Please tell me if there is anything wrong with the formatting or grammar, this is unbataed. This is a one-shot, with no plan for additional chapters or a sequel, though if you really like it I may consider doing just that. Enough of my rambling, on to the story!

Merlin had wanted many things in his life. He'd wanted to make his mother happy. He'd wanted more food than their small farm could produce. He'd wanted to be accepted by his village. He'd wanted to know his father. He'd wanted to protect his mother and Will from the people in the village who were less than accepting of their respective circumstances. He'd wanted to keep the Dragon King and his Bloodcloaks away from his village. He'd wanted to not be forced to hide his magic. He'd wanted to not be forced to remain in Ealdor. He'd wanted to meet Gaius. He'd wanted to stand up to the bullies that were rife throughout Camelot. He'd wanted to keep his head down, to not get caught using his magic. He'd wanted to keep Arthur safe. He'd wanted to free the Great Dragon. He'd wanted to help save his village from Kanen. He'd wanted Will back. He'd wanted to run away with Freya. He'd wanted Freya back. He'd wanted Kilgarrah to stop attacking Camelot. He'd wanted to have a relationship with his father, Balinor. He'd wanted Balinor back. He'd wanted to keep Morgana away from the darkness. He'd wanted Morgana back. He'd wanted to be seen as more than just a peasant, more than a servant. He'd wanted Arthur to acknowledge their friendship. And more than all of these, he'd wanted Arthur to become the Once and Future King of Albion that he was meant to be, and free Merlin and his people.

But despite how much he'd wanted these things, some more than others, there was one thing that he wanted most of all. More than anything. Sometimes Merlin felt guilty that that was the most desperate wishing of his heart and soul, especially given his destiny and his duties, but he'd long ago accepted that if he could have one thing, that it would be the thing he would ask for. It was also the thing that he'd long ago accepted would most likely never happen.

More than anything, he wanted Arthur to know of his magic, and to accept it - to accept him.

Merlin knew that, theoretically, Arthur was supposed to return magic to the land. He'd been working for years to try and soften the prince, and now king's, opinion of magic. But he felt like every time he made a small dent in the rhetoric his father had fed him his whole life, a new sorcerer attacked Camelot and hardened the king's heart more than it had ever been. He was close to giving up on the hope that he could ever tell Arthur that he was a warlock and not be banished. Oh, he knew that Arthur wouldn't kill him, no matter what his head told him to do, his heart wouldn't do it; but how could Merlin possibly expect him to not feel betrayed? For that is what had done; merely by existing, he needed to lie and deceive everyone, including his closest friend.

Merlin knew that Arthur couldn't deal with another betrayal; Morgana, Gwen, and Lancelot had hurt him enough. Agravaine almost shattered him completely. And that was why Merlin knew that if Arthur knew he had kept such a terrible secret for over a decade, it would completely destroy him. And Merlin couldn't let that happen.

Which was why, no matter what Merlin wanted, Arthur could never know. He could never find out, he could never be told. He could never know who Merlin was, deep down. And that hurt Merlin more than he would ever admit, but every time he felt the familiar pangs of hurt, he would remind himself that Arthur was much more important than his own feelings. He always had been, and always would be.

Merlin didn't know where those thoughts had come from. They were true, definitely, but why did he have to think about them while on a blasted hunting trip, of all things? They'd made him almost miss a cue from Arthur for him to stop, and he had tripped over his feet… again.

"Merlin," came Arthur's quiet, but exasperated voice. "Can you not be quiet for one minute?"

"No," said Merlin with a smirk, trying to push away those thoughts of what life could be like if only Arthur knew. "It's one of my many gifts, never being boring!"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "No, you're not boring," agreed Arthur, "you're just annoying."

"Not as annoying as you are to the wildlife," countered Merlin. "What have the bunnies ever done to you?"

"You obviously are never going to understand the noble art of hunting," said Arthur.

"Nope," said Merlin, popping the 'p.'

They continued in this vein, the knights piping up every once in a while, for several minutes before the hairs on the back of Merlin's neck stood up. "Arthur," he said quietly, as Arthur was in the middle of a rant about how utterly useless Merlin was. "Shh. What do you hear?"

Arthur, caught entirely off-guard by the off-topic question, faltered for a moment. "Uh, nothing? Your annoying prattle is all I can hear."

"Exactly," whispered Merlin, "Nothing. That's not a good sign."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Another 'funny feeling,' Merlin?"

"Yes," said Merlin. He looked around. The knights weren't moving. They looked almost frozen. "Arthur, something is really wrong."

Arthur had finally caught on to the unnatural stillness and the way the knights weren't moving. He drew his sword.

"Bandits?" suggested Merlin, putting down the deer carcass he was holding.

"Sorcery," said Arthur, gesturing to the frozen knights.

"And you would be right, young Pendragon," said a voice from behind swung around and saw a figure in a dark cloak standing about ten feet from behind their company.

Merlin swallowed. The figure was clearly a sorcerer, and he really did not want to have a magical fight today, especially not in front of Arthur. Why couldn't this mystery magic user have frozen Arthur the same way they'd frozen the knights?

"Who are you?" said Arthur, pointing his sword at the figure.

The figure laughed, and Merlin stiffened. That was a women's laugh. Merlin could have rolled his eyes. Of course all of the bad guys were women: Nimueh, Morgause, Morgana… He wondered who this one was going to end up being.

"Peace, young Pendragon. I am Gewilnes, Keeper of the Mirror of Erised. I mean you and your companions no harm." Especially you, Lord Emrys, Merlin heard the woman - Gewilnes - say in his head.

Merlin frowned. The woman was obviously powerful, and if she was actually an enemy, it was not a good thing that she knew his identity. However, there was always the possibility that Gewilnes was telling the truth, and was there to help him somehow. She had called him "Lord Emrys," which sounded like a good sign, although Merlin wondered where "Lord" had come from.

So who was she, then? Gewilnes… that was in the Old Tongue, definitely; but Merlin couldn't remember what it meant. And what was this "Mirror of Erised?" Merlin had never heard of such a thing.

"What do you want, sorcerer?" spat Arthur, as if he hadn't heard her speak. "Why have you frozen my men?"

"First off, I am a witch, not a sorceress," said Gewilnes, as if Arthur knew or cared about the difference. Merlin did, however, and immediately prayed to the Triple Goddess that Gewilnes was, in fact, a friend. Witches were far more powerful than sorcerers, Morgana being the prime example Merlin could think of. "Second off, I have frozen your men so that we three may speak privately, which is precisely what I want."

"Unfreeze them, now," Arthur ordered, as if any magic user would obey an order from a Pendragon (besides Merlin, of course, but even that was a rarity).

"Perhaps," said Gewilnes. "I had thought that the two of you would rather not have an audience for this."

The point of Arthur's sword wavered. "For what?"

"Why, for you to see each other's deepest desires, of course," said Gewilnes, as if that were the most natural thing in the world.

Merlin suddenly remembered what Gewilnes meant: desire. Not that that was helpful to the new predicament Merlin was in: Arthur couldn't see his greatest wish. No, that would not end well, for any party. He had to stop this somehow. But how? The only way out was magic, and that was the whole problem in the first place.

Arthur frowned. "What are you talking about, sorc - witch?" he demanded.

Merlin looked at Arthur in shock. Had he just... corrected himself in regards to referring to someone with magic?

Gewilnes glanced at Merlin. "Are you truly unaware, young Pendragon, about the Mirror of Erised?"

"I've never heard of it," said Arthur slowly, as if hating himself for answering truthfully.

Gewilnes looked at Merlin. "Lord Emrys? Surely, you are aware of its power?"

Why. Why must Gewilnes have referred to him as Emrys. Lord Emrys, no less. Why couldn't she have just said "Merlin," or even "boy."

His throat felt remarkably dry. He decided to not answer the question, in hopes Arthur would not connect that name to him.

He had no such luck. Arthur frowned, and said, "Merlin? Why did she call you that?"

Merlin attempted a confused look. "I have no idea. My name's Merlin," he said helpfully. Can you please not get Arthur suspicious about me? He added.

Gewilnes frowned. "But your name is also Emrys."

Merlin could have screamed. "No, it's not," he insisted.

"But it is, and both I and the young Pendragon can see the lie in your eyes." I'm not going to get Arthur suspicious about you, she promised. I'm going to show him the truth.

Merlin felt blood drain from his face. No, no, no, no. This couldn't be happening.

"Merlin?" asked Arthur. "What is she talking about? What is 'Emrys?'"

"It's, uh, a, uh, nickname," Merlin lied.

Arthur shook his head. "No, it's not."

"Look, can we discuss this later?" Merlin said, frustrated.

Arthur frowned, and opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, Gewilnes started chanting. "Gegirnung sunscin, curna be min, ure frigea, for Merlinus et Emrys ond Artur se Cierr ond Toweardness Bregostul! Oynnestre Albion!" Her eyes flashed gold.

Merlin felt his mouth drop open at the power he sensed in those words, and suddenly in front of them was a large, gilded mirror. Merlin instinctively averted his eyes.

"This is the Mirror of Erised," said Gewilnes proudly. "It shows nothing more or less than the deepest, truest desire of our hearts." Her eyes flashed again, and she muttered, "Sopcwide." She grinned. "I just cast a truth spell over the three of us. Now, Arthur, you are going to look into that mirror and tell Emr - Merlin here what you see."

Arthur looked offended. "No!"

Gewilnes tilted her head. "Are you going to refuse?" she said, quietly and dangerously.

Arthur paled a little when she lifted her hand in the direction of the frozen knights. "Y -" he stopped, frowned, and tried to say again, "Y -" he stopped and growled. "No," he finally said. "I'll do it."

"Arthur," said Merlin, "you don't have to -"

Arthur shook his head. "Yes, I do. She could kill us all. If I can save you and the knights by telling you my greatest wish, I will." And Merlin knew he was telling the truth. Gewilnes really had put a truth spell on them, something Merlin found quite disturbing.

So Arthur looked at the mirror. "I'm there. I'm king, like now, but…" Arthur trailed off awkwardly, his eyes darting to Merlin, then to Gewilnes, who lifted her hand threateningly again. "I'm stronger, wiser, better. And Guinevere is Queen, and Camelot is strong, and happy, and the knights are in better condition than ever, and the people are safe and happy. And…" Arthur frowned. "That's weird. Uh, Morgana is there. The old Morgana."

Merlin figured that made sense. Morgana's betrayal had hurt Arthur deeply, and it would make sense that he would want the woman he'd grown up with to be back. Still, there was a part of him that hurt. Why did it hurt?

Oh. Arthur hadn't mentioned him. His dream picture of Camelot and his life did not include Merlin. He clenched his jaw. He couldn't think about that. It would break him.

"And the last thing, young Pendragon? Do not be embarrassed," encouraged Gewilnes.

Arthur glanced at Merlin, and cleared his throat uncomfortably. "And you're there," he said, and Merlin felt a wave of the most amazing relief he had ever felt wash over him. "And you're…." he stopped.

"Say it," said Gewilnes.

"You're my First Advisor," said Arthur, very determinedly looking anywhere except for Merlin. His face was red.

Merlin felt a warm feeling. Arthur's deepest desire included him in it! In a high, influential position at Court! At his right hand! He felt a grin threatening to break his face.

"Arthur," he said, and Arthur glanced at him. "Thank you."

Arthur was now even more red. Merlin hadn't even known that shade was possible for Arthur to turn. "You're welcome," he mumbled.

"Your turn, Emrys," said Gewilnes gently, and suddenly all that warm happiness disappeared.

Merlin swallowed thickly. "Can't we just say that whatever test this is, we passed?" he tried.

"No," said Gewilnes bluntly. "The whole point is for the young Pendragon to be enlightened to his destiny."

Arthur frowned. "Sorry, what?"

"You'll find out," said Gewilnes. "Emrys?" she prompted.

Merlin was shaking. This couldn't be happening. This had to be a nightmare. He couldn't be under a truth spell to tell Arthur his most desperate wish, not now, not after Arthur had just admitted that he trusted Merlin more than anyone else by saying that he wanted him to be First Advisor!

"No," he tried to say confidently, but it came out as more of a whimper. "Please, no."

Arthur had a worried expression on his face. "Merlin, what's wrong? I know it's embarrassing, but -"

But Merlin didn't let Arthur finish. He was under a truth spell, after all, and he had been asked a direct question. "I'm terrified that you'll find out my biggest secret," Merlin said, the words tumbling out of his mouth without his permission. He clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Why would you be scared of that? What's so bad about it?" asked Arthur.

Merlin glanced at Gewilnes for help, but received none, and was already talking. "I'm scared that you'll find out because I don't want to hurt you. I'm scared because I don't know how you'll react except that it will hurt you to know. You might even execute me. It's bad because it's illegal, and because you hate everything about it." He barely managed to stop himself from blurting that it was because it was magic.

Arthur looked scared now, and Merlin could tell it was because he was scared that Merlin had betrayed him as well. "And why would you telling me your deepest wish reveal your secret?"

"Because my wish is that you knew and accepted it," said Merlin.

"How can you know that? I had no idea what mine was until I looked in the mirror."

"Because it's been my most desperate desire for several years now," said Merlin. "Because, in keeping with my absurdly horrible and yet awesome luck I was thinking about it right before Gewilnes showed up. I think about it a lot."

Arthur bit his lip, a nervous habit he hadn't indulged in since he was less that six summers old. "But.. what could possibly be that terrible, that I would execute my closest friend?" He looked a little surprised he had just said closest friend.

Merlin tried. He really did. But fighting a truth spell with nothing but pure force of will just doesn't work.

"Magic," he mumbled as quietly and indistinctly as he could.

"What was that?" asked Arthur, face pale, eyes wide, and Merlin could tell that Arthur had heard him anyway.

"Magic," said Merlin a little louder, but instead of allowing Arthur to react more, he decided to let the truth spell do its thing and just kept going, desperate for Arthur to understand. "I was born with it, Arthur, I never had a choice. Sometimes I wish I hadn't, that I could just be normal, like everyone thinks I am because gods it hurts to hide it, but then I think that no, my magic is what makes me me and without it I would be somebody totally different. I've never used it against you, I swear, I use it for you, only for you. I protect you, Arthur, because you're my friend and I just couldn't bear to lose you. Well, that and destiny, but that's a whole other mess that we can deal with later. But, Arthur, please, please, understand, gods, Arthur, please. I never wanted to hurt you!" he finished desperately.

Arthur looked like his whole world had just been shattered, which, Merlin reflected, it kind of had been. "But…" Arthur said, and he sounded so lost that Merlin wanted to give him a hug. He refrained.

"But magic is evil… right?" asked Arthur, sounding almost childlike. Merlin could see that he was trying not to cry, although his fists were clenching and Merlin vaguely wondered if Arthur was going to hit him.

Merlin shook his head. "No, it isn't, Arthur. It's not evil. People are evil, or they can be, anyway. Magic.. It's just magic. It's like being really good with a sword, or a really great singer. Except you don't execute people for being good with a sword or having a great singing voice. It's just something that some people can do, and sure, some people use it for corrupt purposes but that doesn't mean it is corrupt itself. Like some of Gaius's herbs; if used one way, they can save a life, if used another they can take it."

"But…" protested Arthur feebly. "But if it isn't evil, why have so many sorcerers tried to kill me?"

"I don't know, maybe because your father and to an extent you have been killing and persecuting them for twenty years? Anyone would want revenge."

"Do you?" asked Arthur, finally looking him in the eyes.

"No," said Merlin. Arthur looked surprised. "And you know I'm not lying, because someone," here he shot a glare at Gewilnes, who shrugged innocently, "Put a truth spell over us."

"Why wouldn't you want revenge, though?" asked Arthur. "If… if magic isn't bad, then… then you've watched people just like you being killed for… for no reason at all. Wouldn't that make you angry? Why wouldn't you kill me?"

"I would never kill you," said Merlin with a passionate conviction that surprised even him. "And I wouldn't let anyone else, either." He gave a small, mirthless laugh. "Gods know how many people I've stopped from doing it."

"But why?" persisted Arthur.

Merlin looked at him. "I already told you. You're my best friend."

"But you're a sorcerer! I'm a Pendragon! How -" Arthur broke off. He looked down. "You say I'm your best friend. Why? Why didn't you just try and kill me and take revenge like every other sorcerer in the world?"

"I'm not a killer," said Merlin. He winced. "I… I have killed before, but it was to save the lives of people I care about. Not revenge." A little voice inside him whispered the name Nimueh, and reminded him that he killed her because she killed Gaius, but he pushed it aside. If it really had been just revenge, he wouldn't have been able to say that he hadn't ever killed anyone out of revenge, due to that bloody truth spell. "I wasn't about to change that to kill you, no matter how much of a prat you are. In fact, I've been saving your life over and over since the day we met. As for how you became my best friend… there's a lot of reasons. I could see that, deep down, you cared about your people. You risked your life and got thrown in the dungeons to get me an antidote. You stood up to your father on numerous occasions to save people you knew were innocent, or to keep people, common people, safe. And… well, I suppose this is as good a time as any to mention your - our - destiny."

"Both of you keep mentioning that," said Arthur, "what is it?"

"To unite all of Albion and usher in an era of peace and prosperity; a Golden Age, if you will. And I'm supposed to help you do that. Apparently, we're 'two sides of the same coin.' Oh, and bring magic back, too, but the main bit is Albion."

Arthur stared at him incredulously. "I'm supposed to what?"

"Weren't you listening, prat? Unite all of Albion and usher in an age of peace where all people are treated equally and everyone is happy and life is great!" said Merlin.

"Oh, well, no pressure then," said Arthur sarcastically.

Merlin smiled. "Nope."

"So… you made friends with me because of this supposed destiny we share? Not at all because I'm… me?" asked Arthur, suddenly seeming very insecure.

"No!" said Merlin quickly. "Well, I mean, yes, that's why I started to, but did you not listen to my first part of answering your question? You're a good person. You're going to be a great king, destiny or not. And, well, after ten years… I can't imagine anyone else being my best friend."

"You have an astonishing amount of loyalty to a Pendragon for a sorcerer," remarked Arthur sadly.

"Warlock," Merlin corrected. "I was born with magic. You should have heard Gaius' rant when I called myself a sorcerer once."

"Of course Gaius knows," mumbled Arthur. Then louder, but still soft, and sad, he asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

The question caught Merlin off guard. He'd thought it would have been easy to piece together. "Well, at first… there was no way in heck I was going to admit to the Prince of Camelot that I had magic! I would've been killed on the spot, if you even believed me. And then, when I knew that you probably couldn't bring yourself to kill me yourself, I didn't want to put you in the position of choosing between me and your father. And after Uther died… You'd known me for a decade. I knew you weren't going to kill me. But… How could I admit to you that I lied for that whole time? That I've been committing treason, just by existing? That I… betrayed you. Just like…" Merlin trailed off. He did not need to mention the other betrayals in Arthur's life.

Merlin looked at his feet. He was done talking, for now. Now was the time where either his greatest wish would be granted or his greatest nightmare would come true: Arthur would accept him as he was, magic and all, or Arthur would reject him. His throat was suddenly very dry. He clenched his fists. Come on, Arthur, please.

Merlin stood there for several moments, before he heard an incredulous voice, "Are you comparing yourself to Morgana and Agravaine? Merlin, you idiot, I didn't think even you could be so bloody stupid!"

Merlin barely had time to look up before Arthur crushed him in a bear hug. "You kept a secret that would have gotten you killed that you used to save me! You're nothing like them, and don't let anyone tell you any different!"

For a moment, all he could do was stand there, shocked. Then, all of the sudden, he was sobbing uncontrollably into Arthur's shoulder and returning the hug with all the strength he could muster.

"You - you're not mad at me?" Merlin finally managed to choke out between relieved sobs.

"Of course I'm mad at you," said Arthur matter-of-factly. Merlin pulled away for a second, horrified, before Arthur rolled his eyes and continued, "For not telling me sooner, and for daring to compare yourself to those scum."

Merlin grinned. He felt lighter than he had in years. He had everything he ever wanted.