Confidant
Disclaimer: Castlevania belongs to Konami, not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic; it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he would be mine.
Rating: PG-13
Part: Three of four
Authoress Note: Funny story, I wrote this chapter yesterday, then saved it, or so I thought. Went to upload it only to find that my save hadn't saved at all. So, this is attempt number two.
Italics = thoughts and flashbacks
Chapter Four
Work Text:
"I am having concerns," Genya said softly when they had sat down together in the living room.
"Gotta watch out for concerns." Soma forced a smile. Genya's expression was stony, calculating, and extremely focused on him. Genya's expression tightened at the poor joke, and Soma held up his hands. "Alright, what's got you concerned?"
"You lied to me," Genya said. Soma felt his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. "Either that or something has changed."
"What the hell, I didn't lie to you! When did I lie to you?"
"When you arrived yesterday, you said you said the most you ever felt was the odd emotion that was clearly identifiable as not your own, the grief you felt at the portrait, for example." Genya gestured to the painting behind him. "You made these out to be minor, clearly separate from yourself, but what I have witnessed in the last few hours alone is something quite different."
"I didn't lie."
"You experienced an anger so powerful that it drove you to chase me across the city," Genya said. "And before that you lashed out at my having a habit that would be detrimental to a human's health."
"Yeah, but-" Soma started.
"So," Genya interrupted. "You lied to me when you explained the extent of your emotions or they have suddenly become far worse than what you were experiencing before."
"They might have been a little more intense," Soma said quietly. "Since I came here, I mean." Genya sighed and leaned forward in his chair, his hands coming to his temples.
"I confess I am at a loss for what to do," he muttered when Soma scooted to the edge of the couch and went to reach out. "Having you stay here until we can find out the extent of your issues seems like a poor idea."
"Don't make me leave," Soma blurted. "It's not that bad really!"
"You were going to attack Julius because he said, in jest, that I frustrate people." Genya rose to his feet and started to pace. "Clearly proximity to me is an issue."
"Why would it be?" Soma said. "Perhaps if I understood that I'd be able to deal with this? I don't want to become a monster," Soma said. "I don't want to let him possess me."
"You're not possessed, Soma," Genya said. "You're a reincarnation. You're not him. You might have been long, long ago, but not now."
"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself," Soma muttered. "You sound disappointed."
"I am not disappointed." Genya frowned at him.
"You knew him," Soma snapped. "You said earlier that you knew him. You called him a nerd and said you never hated him."
"All true. But that does not mean I'm disappointed."
"How can you not be?" Soma gestured to himself. "Look at me. How can you compare me to him and not be disappointed?"
"Well, you're not trying to wipe humanity from the world," Genya said softly. Soma looked up at him.
"Was that supposed to be a joke?" he said. "That was awful."
"It was in poor taste," Genya nodded. Soma snorted a laugh.
"You know so much more than you're telling me," Soma said. "You always know more than you're telling me. Would it kill you, to be honest with me? Just once?"
Genya stared at him for a long moment before sighing and standing up. He moved stiffly out of the living room and returned a moment later with a bottle of something golden brown and two glasses. Silently he sat back in his chair, put the glasses on the coffee table and filled them, nudging one towards Soma he took the other himself. He knocked the drink back in one swallow and refilled his glass. Soma raised an eyebrow at him.
"I'm not having this conversation sober."
"Um, ok."
"What do you think it would benefit you to know?" Genya said. Soma took a sip of the golden drink and coughed when it hit the back of his throat and burned like hellfire.
"What the hell is that?" he said, his voice suddenly hoarse.
"Whiskey, very strong whiskey."
"Christ, that's going to burn the lining out of my stomach," Soma said. Genya stared at him, holding his gaze, and knocked back the entire glass in a single swallow before pouring another. "Stop it, you maniac!" Soma lunged forward to steal the bottle, but Genya moved with unreal speed and put the bottle on the floor beside his chair far out of Soma's reach.
"You'd better hurry and ask questions before I finish the bottle."
Soma couldn't help but snort a laugh. The thought of just letting Genya drink himself into whatever state he would cross his mind, he could film it, Hammer would never believe Drunk-Genya existed otherwise. The concept of Drunk-Genya boggled Soma's mind for a second, before an idea, or a memory, Soma wasn't sure, of him throwing a blonde and very unconscious Genya over a shoulder and carrying him up to bed flitted in his mind and was gone.
"What are you?" The words caught in Soma's throat. "You knew Dracula, and he lived so long ago that it hurts me to think about it. What are you that you knew him?"
"I am not human." Genya sipped the drink like a civilised person this time. "I'm something like a vampire, but not quiet. Before you ask, I don't eat people, not directly. Next question."
"Not directly?" Soma frowned.
"Next question."
"Fine," Soma sniffed. "How did you know Dracula?"
"I lived with him for a time," Genya finished the glass again. "Before he attacked humanity."
"I have some very strange ideas or memories or whatever." Soma tried to put it into words. "Nothing that makes much sense, like flashes, I guess, bits of memory. Like when you have a really clear dream that five minutes after waking up you only recall fragments."
"Is that a question?" Genya refilled his glass. Soma sighed, frustrated.
"You're deliberately making this difficult."
"Yes," Genya admitted.
"Why?"
"Because it is not something I enjoy talking about."
"So, you're throwing a tantrum, like a toddler?" Soma huffed.
"Toddlers don't have access to whiskey."
"Your such an asshole sometimes." Soma collected himself. "Look, I'm not being nosey, not intentionally. I'm not asking these questions to hurt you or piss you off. I just think if I understood why I got so bloody angry when you left that maybe I could control it better, or at least anticipate it." Genya was quiet for a moment, a moment that dragged on and on. Eventually, he nodded.
"I am being unfair," he said, his words slurring a tad. "I apologise."
"Now I know you're drunk." Soma smiled.
"No, but I'm working on it," Genya said. "I forgot that this must be unsettling for you, to have such within you and not understand it. I will try to help."
"Thank you, but honestly, if I ask something that's too, I don't know, painful or something, then you can tell me to fuck off."
"That is considerate of you." Genya smiled, sipping his drink again.
"Please slow down on the damn booze." Soma pinched the bridge of his nose. "Your poor liver might die."
"My liver is fine. Ask your questions."
"Fine, you were Dracula's roommate or something. That kind of explains some of the things. I mean, he obviously cared about you."
"Oh?" Genya's tone was salty.
"Yeah, I mean I think I got so angry because I was worried about you, the idea of you going off fighting whatever the blasted Belmont's wanted you to, putting yourself at risk for them, it made me angry," Soma took a slow breath his heart rate had picked up as he'd spoken. "He really didn't like them."
"No, he did not," Genya said. "I think perhaps he felt that they took me from him."
"Yeah, maybe," Soma said. "Ugh, this is so weird. I like Julius. He's cool and a sweet guy. He always seems to care a lot about people, but just then… just then, I would have punched him if he'd been here." Soma reached out and sipped the whiskey. It didn't burn so much this time. Genya smiled crookedly at him.
"It gets smoother." He nodded, sipping his own drink. "I think you simply need to be more mindful of your emotions. You clearly recognise them as not your own. At least you do after the fact. You need to move that awareness to the present moment. Don't allow yourself to be carried away."
"That's easier said than done," Soma said. "It scares me that I'll get carried away. I mean, I know you said I'm a reincarnation and not like a host for his ghost or something. I can't be possessed, but getting carried off by his anger… it feels like I'm possessed. What if I turn into him? What if I become a monster?"
"I don't think you could," Genya said, finishing yet another glass. Over half the bottle was gone now.
"You don't?" Soma sniffed. Genya shook his head, refilling his glass.
"No." Genya tried to put the bottle down and wobbling a bit. He dropped it in the end. Luckily, the top was on. "Monster is a matter of perspective, anyway."
"What do you mean?" Soma said.
"Do you think I'm a monster?" Genya looked at him, his eyes half closed and a little unfocused.
"I think you're a drunk asshole," Soma muttered. "But no, not a monster."
"Many would." Genya's tone lowering a little. "Many would look at me and see a predator, a monster." He snorted. "If cows and pigs met you, they would think you were a monster."
"Because I eat them, I get it," Soma said. "But that's not what I mean-"
"Let me finish," Genya interrupted. "The basic predator is one kind of monster. There is another, however, one that is made by men."
"A man-made monster?"
"Yes," Genya nodded, again sipping his drink. "Predators are born that way; they cannot change what they are. But man-made monsters are created long after their birth, by circumstance, personality, predisposition etc. Dracula was a man-made monster."
"People made him a monster?" Soma said.
"In part, yes." Genya nodded, his words slurring more. "He was never what anyone would call a 'sweet guy', as you did Julius a moment ago. But he became what he was over centuries of isolation, contempt and cruelty."
"You need to tell me more than that. I need context." Soma leaned forward.
"I'm hardly an expert, I'm not a therapist, but…" Genya trailed off. Soma snapped his fingers.
"Focus."
"I can't speak much of the time before I knew him, only that he was alone for the most part. He didn't hate people, though I think prior to that time he had."
"He put people on sticks. That sounds like hatred to me." Genya snorted softly.
"He had stopped doing that an exceptionally long time before I knew him. As I said, I think he'd stopped hating people, but that doesn't mean he liked them, instead he was indifferent to them. They didn't threaten him. He was too powerful. He must have felt towards them what a wolf feels towards a fox, it's a small predator, not enough to be bothered with."
"But that changed. He started hating them again?"
"Stop interrupting," Genya sipped his drink. "And yes, eventually, but I'll get to that. Instead, he started losing his indifference. This wasn't a random occurrence; it was very deliberate. He was being…coached I suppose, trained to feel empathy again. After lifetimes of indifference, he was being taught empathy."
"You make him sound like a robot," Soma said.
"He wasn't," Genya said. "As I said, I'm not an expert. My explanation will not be perfect. Dracula was capable of the full range of emotions, but what he lacked was the ability to emphasise generally. He could pity an individual, for instance, or love one, but the concept of humanity as a whole? He struggled with that."
"But someone was teaching him," Soma said. "Was it you?" Genya snorted.
"Hell no." He laughed. "I was present for it, but I wasn't a teacher, I was… I'm not even sure, a guinea pig perhaps. Something for him to practise on."
"That doesn't sound right."
"Then I was just there." Genya shrugged and finished his drink. "I watched as he learned to care, at least a little, and I saw the benefit. I saw how he helped people."
"Dracula helped people?" Soma felt his eyebrows rise.
"Not directly." Genya crinkled his nose a little. "He did it through a proxy."
"What the hell does that mean?" Soma snapped.
"He had a proxy, a woman. He gave her tools and knowledge that would help people and she distributed that to the surrounding people."
"Like a pay it forward thing," Soma said. Genya shrugged.
"I suppose so. Things were going very well. He was getting exposure to more and more. He wasn't isolated anymore, and it was benefiting him and the world around him. It could have been amazing."
"But…" Soma said.
"But people fucked it up," Genya snorted. "Men, afraid of progress and knowledge, bound by their fear of losing power. They attacked, and it undid all the good work she had done. Everything was destroyed in moments because of a few selfish people."
"What the hell happened?" Soma asked.
"Men killed her, the one who he was teaching, who was teaching him. Who was proving to him that all humans weren't monsters? Her name was Lisa, and they killed her." Genya's hand, which had been loosely holding his glass, released it to the floor. The dull thud as the thick glass hit the carpet and bounced made Soma jump. Genya lifted his legs onto the chair, curling in on himself a little, and reached for the fallen bottle. "And when she died, so did everything good inside of Dracula."
"Hey." Soma leaned forwards. Genya struggled to open the bottle but managed after a moment and took a long swig. "Hey stop that, that's enough." He stood and walked over, taking the bottle out of Genya's cold fingers and putting it on the coffee table. Sitting back on the sofa, Soma shuffled in place while Genya looked wretchedly into the middle distance, eyes unfocused. "Look, I'm really sorry, I didn't realise… um." Genya sniffed, and the grief left his face as his expression became one of practiced calm. Though the unfocused look remained.
"But don't you see this is why I know you can never become him." Genya's voice cracking as he visibly pulled himself together.
"But bad things can happen to me as well," Soma muttered. Genya nodded.
"They can, but don't you see, he had suffered centuries of isolation, casual cruelty and indifference. He was pulling himself out of it, but he was brittle, fragile and her death it caused him to shatter." Genya swallowed, the sound loud in the quiet apartment. "You, you've not had centuries of being alone. You've got a support network that is more than just a woman and a child. When bad things happen to you, Soma people will be there to remind you that not everything is terrible. They will hold you together to stop you from breaking the way he did."
They were both quiet for a long moment after that. Soma swallowed a lump in his throat, only for it to reform again. He had friends, something Dracula had not had. Friends who cared about him, who would hurt themselves to keep him safe. Hell, even people he hadn't really considered friends before now, people like Genya, who were willing to put themselves through upsetting circumstances just to help him understand himself better. Soma looked up at Genya, who was back to staring mournfully at nothing.
"I'm sorry," Soma said. Genya looked at him.
"Why?"
"You seemed upset," Soma said. "I just, I felt bad."
"You shouldn't feel bad."
"But I reminded you of the death of someone you obviously cared about," Soma said.
"I have mourned their loss, both hers and his. Time makes it easier to bear and this happened a very long time ago."
"Then why are you so upset?" Soma said.
"Because they left me alone. Lisa could not help what happened, but he could have. He could have held it together if he'd have tried just a bit. He didn't have to go. But he did. He left as well, and I am alone."
Oh god, Genya was a sad drunk.
Soma felt his heartrate pick up; this was not cool. He never knew how to deal with people being upset. It certainly didn't help that Genya's words had caused something cold and dark to open in soma's stomach. The grief and guilt that poured out from that dark place almost drove him to his knees, much like the anger had earlier. But he kept his feet and swallowed down the grief, the guilt, and the unbelievable amount of awkwardness. He was about to try and say something nice to him when he noticed something.
The bottle on the table was moving.
Very slowly and carefully, that bottle was moving across the coffee table towards Genya. Soma frowned and moved closer. There was something hiding behind the bottle, carefully shuffling it across the table.
"What the hell?" Soma lifted the bottle; a started squealing cry came from the tiny creature now clinging to the bottle.
The creature was humanoid, with two thin arms ending in hooked claws, and two legs ending in cloven hooves. It was barely thirty centimetres tall and a dark purple colour. It had small leathery wings which flared when Soma had lifted the bottle. It was either an imp or an exceedingly small demon.
"The jig is up," it screeched, and let go of the bottle. A small spear materialised in its hands and it jabbed at Soma's fingers. "Give me the bottle!"
"What the hell?" Soma said again and batted at the creature. He hit it and it careened through the air, striking the wall and falling to the floor.
"That was uncalled for," Genya sniffed. The demon or imp got to its feet and staggered comically towards Genya's chair. Once there, Genya lowered an arm and lifted the creature onto his lap.
"You were…" Soma said, not sure if he should be annoyed or amused. That tiny thing clearly belonged to Genya and had been trying to steal the bloody whiskey for him. It was a welcome distraction from the guilt still coiling in his gut. Much like before when he had recalled carrying a blonde drunk Genya to bed, memories of various creatures flitted through his consciousness, a sword with no welder, a bat that breathed fire, a ghost, transparent and aggressive, a fairy, small and perfect and lastly this mischievous purple demon currently curling up in Genya's lap.
"Familiars," Soma said. "You have familiars." Genya looked at him and nodded.
"Several, in fact," he said, hand petting the demon in his lap. Soma looked at the mostly empty bottle in his hand.
"You drunk asshole," he sniggered. "I can't believe you drank nearly a whole bottle on an empty stomach."
"You made breakfast," Genya muttered.
"You had one pancake. That's basically an empty stomach," Soma said. "Right, we need to get some food into you and then water, a lot of water." Soma pulled out his phone and started scrolling through the takeaway apps. "You like noodles?" he asked. Genya said nothing, but the demon perked up. It stood and launched itself into the air, coming over to hover near Soma's shoulder.
"He likes noodles." Its shrill voice was grating. "There's some with a sauce that's hot, hot in many ways, temperature and taste. He likes those."
"Uhh, ok," Soma said. "Spicy might not be good considering the amount of whiskey he's had but whatever."
"The master likes cake as well; can you get cakes on the screen?"
"I'm not getting him any more bloody sugar today," Soma muttered. He glanced at Genya, who seemed to have fallen asleep or passed out.
"Bloody bastard should be dead a hundred times over, the amount of sugar, booze and cigarettes he has. How the hell has he even survived this long?"
"Fairy has potions that help," the demon sounded confused. It looked over at Genya, then back to Soma. "Why did you upset him, Dark Lord? Did he anger you?"
"What? No?" Soma snapped. "And don't call me that."
"He doesn't drink unless he's sad," the demon said. "He is often sad, but not sad enough to drink."
"What are you talking about?" Soma finished the order on his phone. He'd try to wake Genya up a little before the food was due, maybe get him to drink some water first. Maybe a potion wouldn't be a bad idea.
"He gets sad talking about his father," the demon continued. "About you Dark Lord."
"What?" soma turned to face the demon still hovering in the air before him.
"It is good that you have returned," the demon smiled, revealing rows of tiny needle teeth. "He has missed you very much. We have tried to help, but we cannot substitute for one such as you." The demon flew over to the portrait on the wall. "He missed her as well."
"I don't understand."
"Your human woman," the demon frowned at him. "Our master's Lady mother?" Soma felt his heartbeat pick up rapidly. His chest felt suddenly tight, like his skin was too small for his ribcage. Blackspots floated in his vision and he staggered back to the sofa, sitting across from Genya, who was quietly snoring, curled in his armchair.
That painting was of Genya's mother, the Dark Lord's lady wife.
Holy shit.
Soma wasn't sure how long he sat on the sofa feeling nauseous and dizzy, but the intercom rang and snapped him out of his malaise. He staggered over to the receiver and buzzed the delivery guy up, paid for the food, and walked back to Genya.
"Um, rise and shine, lunch is here."
His son. Genya was Dracula's kid. His son. His son who he had left alone when he descended into madness and here, he was now in the wrong body offering him spicy noodles.
What the hell was he doing?
"Soma?" Genya opened his eyes and blinked, his face contorting into one of disgust. "Oh, shit."
"Yeah, you might want to drink some water," Soma managed around the lump in his throat. Maybe we'll get you a potion. Your demon creature says your fairy has some."
"She does." Genya blinked and wobbled to his feet. He snickered suddenly as he tried to balance himself and failed, falling back into the armchair.
"Ok, maybe stay there and I'll get you a plate," Soma went back into the kitchen and poured containers of noodles onto plates. His stomach felt like a lead ball.
Back in the living room, the tiny demon was gone, replaced by an equally tiny woman.
"You drank how much!" she was grumbling. "What are we going to do with you?"
"Give me a potion," Genya said. "Please." The please was clearly an afterthought. The fairy faffed for a moment before a blue light encased her and Genya.
"I should let you suffer," she muttered, flying forwards to land on Genya's shoulder. "You'll never learn otherwise." She started trying to straighten his hair.
"I'm old enough that if I haven't learned now, then chances are, I won't learn at all," Genya muttered. Thankfully, his slurring was significantly less.
"Um, here," Soma handed him a plate. "Lunch."
"Is it really only lunch time?" Genya said. Soma snorted.
"Yeah, it feels like a long day, a really long day." He started picking at his noodles, feeling ill every time he swallowed. Genya started eating and the strange tightness in Soma eased a little at the surprised, happy sound Genya made at the food.
"Eat all of it," the fairy on his shoulder said softly. Soma laughed a little.
"Nice to see someone's been taking care of you," he said without thinking. The Fairy looked up at him and her expression went cold for a second before a smile crossed her face. She did a strange little curtsey and went back to tiding Genya's hair.
"I apologise for letting you see that," Genya said stiffly. "I hope it wasn't to…"
"It's fine," Soma said. "You were fine. Everything is fine. Um, I mean, thank you, you really helped me understand things a bit more. It's a lot to take in. It might take me a bit to, you know, process it all."
"You are welcome to stay while you do." Genya stared into his noodles. "I promise not to drink again."
"It's fine," Soma said. "I'd like to stay, if it's really ok."
It was a lot to process; it was really, really a lot to process, but Soma found he didn't want to leave now anymore than he had before. Perhaps less now. The idea of leaving Genya, Adrian, whatever alone again, really wasn't an option.
"I think some company will do you good," Soma said. "Though I am laying down some ground rules."
"You're giving me rules in my apartment?" Genya said.
"Yes," Soma said firmly. "There's no more drinking, at least not like that, and I'm searching out all your cigarettes and you're going to start a better diet. Sugar is not an adequate diet for anyone, sort-of-vampire or not."
"You still realise that this is my home. You are my guest."
"We're going shopping this afternoon, if you're not feeling like death given the amount you drink, and we're going to buy vegetables, lots and lots of vegetables."
"You're serious?" Genya said.
"I like him," the fairy said. "I like him a lot."
End Fic
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