AN: Hey guys, I can't believe it's been so long since I last updated this, but I'm not going to bore you with excuses or promises to update more frequently. I will suggest that you go back and reread the last four chapters or so if you're in need of a refresh. Enjoy!

I was having the most wonderful dream. I was asleep on Edward's chest, and he was stroking my hair slowly and methodically. I didn't dare open my eyes, for fear of waking up, but I did allow my hand to drift from its place on dream Edward's shoulder down his arm, seeking out his hand. I didn't know how long I had until I woke up and I wanted to just have that feeling of connection for as long as I possibly could.

Dream Edward must have been as intuitive as the real Edward once was because he curled his hand up to hold mine. As soon as our fingers interlaced I felt electricity flowing from his hand into mine. I worked my face further into his neck taking in his scent. Dream Edward let out a low purring sound, which only encouraged me further.

I decided that if I was going to for once have a pleasant dream involving the vampire I still loved I was going to get as much out of it as I possibly could. With my eyes still closed I started to place open mouthed kisses on his neck and I allowed the hand that wasn't currently holding his to wander a bit, not to anywhere that it hadn't been before, but it was nice to feel him all the same.

There was a low growl and something that sounded suspiciously like ripping fabric and suddenly I was on my back with Dream Edward's weight pressing me into the mattress. That made me giggle to myself.

"What's so funny love," Dream Edward whispered, his lips ticking my neck.

I debated answering for a moment, but ultimately decided that it was probably fine to respond to my subconscious.

"I can feel your weight."

Most of it was gone instantly and I resisted the urge to whisper. "Is it too much for you? Am I hurting you?"

"No silly vampire, I just wouldn't expect a figment of my imagination to have any actual mass. Aren't you supposed to be made of clouds or something?"

A fraction of the weight settled back down on me, and I began to sit up in an attempt to get closer to him.

"A figment of your imagination?"

"Yes, what else should I call you, a delusion of my subconscious?" I managed to sit up enough to press my body into his, and I wrapped my arms around his neck to stop him from moving away again.

"Isabella… can you open your eyes for me?" I shook my head against his neck. "Why not?"

"Because if I open my eyes you won't be here, and I'm not ready for you to go yet."

"Oh Bella," Dream Edward sighed, "did you not listen to a word I said last night. Open your eyes love, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

I shook my head violently against him, "No, that's what you always say, and it's always a lie. I open my eyes and you're gone, and I won't do it."

Dream Edward laughed humorlessly, and took my hands in his, prying them from the death grip I had around his neck. Gently he pushed me back into the pillows and moved so I could no longer feel any of his weight.

"Bella, it's time for you to open your eyes now." I tried to sit up , but his hands on my wrists kept me in place. "Now Isabella."

Reluctantly, slowly, I opened my eyes. For a moment, my surroundings seemed unfamiliar, my bed too comfortable. The ceiling I was staring at wasn't my ceiling. But then Edward's face moved directly into my sight line and I jolted as my memories came flying back.

"Well shit." I said

He grinned ruefully at me, "Not the reaction I was hoping for, but one that makes infinitely more sense than the one I received this morning."

He allowed me to move into a seated position, but growled lightly when I tried to take my hands back.

"My apologies, but I'm afraid I can't fully let go of you at the moment. I can either hold your hands, or I can hold the rest of you. I know which one I would prefer, but somehow I don't think that's best at the moment."

I stared at him uncomprehending for a moment, "Why?"

"Because we need to have a serious conversation and if I get that close to you I'm likely to get distracted and tell you whatever you want to hear so I can stay that close to you."

I shook my head, "No, I mean why can't you let go of me?"

He sighed, "I suppose that's as good a place as any to start our serious conversation. I can't let go of you because you're my mate and you claimed me."

I stared at him blankly. "I don't understand."

A small smile played around his mouth, "I know, I'm trying to find the words to explain what's going on in a way your human mind can understand," I opened my mouth to defend myself, but he started speaking again, "Not because your brain can't understand it, but because you've been raised around certain social norms. For a human you meet someone and fall in love, and perhaps you stay together forever, or maybe you just stay together for a little while and then move on. That's simply not an option for a vampire, and I'm trying to find a context. Rosalie told you a bit about mating, yes?"

I nodded and proceeded to fill him in on what Rose and I had talked about.

"It sounds like she gave you groundwork for what I'm talking about. The alteration of your brain chemistry she mentioned? The bonding? At the moment my body is dealing with a certain amount of physical overload, both from being so close to you and holding you after such a long withdrawal as well as from hearing you stake a verbal claim on me. Did Rose tell you much about the different ways the bond forms?"

"She mostly just talked about physical connection."

He nodded, "That makes sense, I don't mean this in a bad way, but the bond that she and Emmett share is almost entirely physical. Don't misunderstand me, they are very much deeply in love, but a huge part of their relationship revolves around physical interactions. I suppose it's one of the few ways our relationships are like human relationships, some people have mostly physical relationships, some people are happy to have largely emotional relationships, some people have intellectual relationships. While all vampire relationships are very physical some are still more physical than others. Am I making sense?"

I nodded, not sure I wanted to risk responding aloud. With my general lack of a filter I would likely be compelled to point out that our former relationship must have been on the very bottom rung of the vampire physical relations ladder. It may have technically been subterranean.

"Good. What I'm getting at is that Rose was speaking from her own very physical experience. Other parts of her bond with Emmett aren't as prevalent in her mind. When she and Emmett want to lay claim to each other they do it almost exclusively with their bodies. Other relationships are different, Alice and Jasper use his gift and do it through their emotions. He is able to feel her possession and allow her the experience of being possessed. Carlisle and Esme demonstrate their claim on each other through other actions, by taking care of each other. That's not to say that's the only way they claim each other, but each mated pair has their own unique way."

He paused to let that sink in with me for a moment.

"You and I are different still, and we're still figuring it out, but hearing you actually say that we belong to each other out loud, even over a recording, did something to me last night and I needed to be with you. No one could have guessed that would be a trigger for me, and I'm sure if Rose had suspected it would be she wouldn't have played that tape when she knew I might hear it. Of course, not knowing leaves us in a bit of a bind. I don't know what else you might do that's going to incite that reaction in me again. I don't know when, if ever, I'll be able to be away from you. I know that some of the desperation is already fading, last night I needed to feel as much of you as possible, and I'm able to stand just holding your hands now."

Desperate to lighten the mood a bit I interrupted him, "Well that's a relief as I will have to use the bathroom at some point."

He laughed at that, "Yes, I suppose you will. And I'll have to hunt at some point, and you certainly can't come along for that at the moment."

"At the moment?"

"Yes, not while you're human."

I frowned, "You say that like I'm going to be something else."

He frowned, and whispered, "Not if you don't want to be, but Bella, I want to be fully honest with you. In our time apart I've realized just how wrong I've been trying to keep you human, and when I heard what happened to you after I left –"

"What do you mean what happened to me after you left?"

"Bella, I'm not trying to be rude, but my presence and then absence altered your brain chemistry to the point you ended up in a mental institution. What do you think will happen to you if I leave you again? You'll wind up going through the process all over but even worse this time. I simply cannot allow that to happen."

With those words I was reminded of just how messed up this situation really was.

"So that's what this is," I whispered brokenly, looking away, "this is guilt."

His hand gripped my chin and pulled my head around to meet his gaze, "What?" he spat out.

I pulled my head away, "This is a combination of guilt and some freaky supernatural biological imperative. Tell me Edward how exactly is this supposed to work? Am I supposed to live an eternity within close physical proximity to you, knowing you don't want me? Is this going to be some sort of fucked up version of an arranged marriage where I live with you, and have sex with you, not because either of us want it but because it's what we have to do to continue living in some semblance of sanity? Or am I supposed to stay human, attempt to get my shit together and go off and be with someone who does want me, but mysteriously disappear all the time to get my fix of you like some sort of drug habit?"

As I spoke Edward's eyes became darker and darker, and his grip grew firmer on my hand, but as soon as I finished speaking he pushed me back down on the bed and pressed his body into mine, my wrists in one of his hands pinned above my head.

"Listen very closely Isabella," he hissed, "I understand that I'm entirely to blame for the situation we now find ourselves in, and I will own that and never stop apologizing until the day I cease to exist, but let me make something very clear to you right now. Vampires are possessive creatures and you are my mate, so whether you live out your life as a human or choose to become a vampire, no one, and I mean no one will have you but me!"

Before I could attempt to speak or struggle away the hand that was not holding my wrists hostage dove under my neck and pulled my head up so his lips could crash into mine in the most possessive and passionate kiss of my life.

Well fuck.