Advice of the Wounded

A/N: A little S1 AU that shamelessly denies May and Ward's hook up. Or that one time May recognizes the bond between Ward and Skye, and decides to do something to help them move forward.


Melinda May is an observant person – even beyond the level that comes with the territory of being a specialist. It might stem from having been married to a psychologist for years, or it could a trait she was born with, she isn't sure. Nevertheless, she has a habit of observing people, not only whether they pose a threat or carry a gun, but also how they act in general – their little habits, the little tells of their body language.

So it shouldn't come as a surprise that she notices early on that something is going on between Ward and his new trainee.

She sees it all, although it is so subtle she doubts anybody else has picked it up. She sees that when he shows Skye a new move, Ward keeps his hands on her just a fraction of a second longer than necessary. She sees how he stares at her when she is not looking. She sees how he turns towards her the moment he hears her voice. She sees how he listens, hanging on her every word, whenever she speaks.

Grant Ward is in the deep, and it annoys May beyond words – not because the man is clearly falling in love, no; she's been there, done that, she knows how it is, and she is not about to judge Ward for it. No, what bothers – angers – her is that Ward is obviously trying to suppress it, act like there's nothing going on with him and Skye (because the saddest thing in the whole ordeal is that it is plain as the day that his affections are requited – although Skye is not yet as far gone as he is).

Of course it's not something that she is unfamiliar with, either – the job often makes specialists distance themselves from other people; makes them believe that they can't forge real relationships. And some cases it is true, but in others it's just a mistake that makes them lonely and keeps them away from happiness.

And Melinda is almost completely sure that Ward belongs to the former category – to the disillusioned people, who only need a push to the right direction.

Thankfully, she is really good at pushing people.


Melinda May is not somebody to avoid or postpone things – if something has to be done, it has to be done, and it's better for everybody if you get through with it. So, in this mentality, she grabs the first opportunity to stuff some sense into Ward.

Her chance comes when they are alone in the cargo hold one Monday morning, doing equipment inventory and assessment. One moment, she is noting down the amount of dendrotoxin bullets they have left, the next she is taking a deep breath, and then she talks.

"I was married once," she starts without any preamble, voice so calm and matter-of-fact as if she was just telling him they have to request more flash grenades from HQ.

Ward stiffens for a fraction of a second – that's all the visible reaction he gives –, then continues sorting through the contents of a drawer full of weapons.

"Okay," he says, without even looking at her.

"For eight years," she continues, as if it was completely normal for her to make idle, personal chit-chat during work. "He was a psychologist – consulted a lot for S.H.I.E.L.D., mostly on cases with gifted people, that's how we met."

Ward just nods and hums in agreement, still avoiding looking at her – whether it stems from that he doesn't yet realized it's all directed at him with a purpose, or that he knows it just well and doesn't want to acknowledge it, she is not sure. Regardless, she continues.

"And they were the best years on my life." She puts down the tablet she had been holding, and completely turns towards the younger agent. "I had a home to retreat to after a mission, and a person there who completely understood and supported me, and it made all the difference in the world. And I was happy." She closes her eyes for a moment, the memories rushing back to her making it hard to breathe. "We were going to start a family – I was going to stay in the field, but we had it all figured out." Her right hand clenches into a fist.

"It still crashed in the end," Ward says quietly, his eyes still fixed on the weapons.

"Because of Bahrain – not particularly because of the job. We worked around me being a specialist just well. And trauma can happen to anybody, not just to S.H.I.E.L.D. agents."

Ward goes rigid and closes his eyes for a moment, the strain evident on his face. He knows exactly what she is talking about.

"May–"

"I am only telling you this because I want you to know that being a specialist and having a meaningful, fulfilling relationship are not mutually exclusive. It takes some work, but you can have both. And it is worth it." She doesn't add please, don't turn out to be like me. Please, don't let the pain drive you away from the people who care about you. She just stands up, picks up the tablet, and stands in front of him until he looks into her eyes. "All I ask is that you think about what I just said. Think long and hard, and decide for yourself what you want. But I'd hate to see you miss out on something that could make you happy because you are afraid, or because you live in a lie." And with that she turns around and leaves Ward behind, hoping that she has managed to make her point.


Later that day when she sees him and Skye sitting by the window, playing some board game and laughing like children, and she catches Ward's eyes for a moment, and sees a silent thank you in them, she knows she has.