Well, this is my favorite chapter so far -w- towards the end, you'll figure out why. Really, my thing has never been romance but Iove when I get to right it x3
So for now, I'll be giving thanks:
-Harukawa Ayame: thanks a bunch for the faves and follows! Specially for the one on the old story. If you read it, this one won't be such a surprise. Maybe ;)
Now let's get going to the main event! :D
Chapter Twenty-Two
Pas de Deux
"And so it'll be done in the forenight of tomorrow." Yawning after hearing Sharon's last report from Elise, I tossed and turned in my chair.
It had already been a week since our little escapade at Barma's villa and since the news of Oz's coming of age ceremony, Sharon has been through hell and back with Alice and I trying to find gowns for us and herself. Alice was easy enough since she hadn't complained much. I swear she's got some kind of sixth sense that warns her of Sharon's mood swings or something. I, on the other hand, ain't as smart on that sense. In the end, Sharon decided that the best place would be for me to get it from the one person I had actually trusted to make any of my clothes.
So in the end, we went to Elise and after much fuzz from me, we decided on what I would wear for the party. Since this was the first time in a long while that Sharon had attended any social gatherings, she was going full out with the preparations she had concerning us. Couldn't blame her either so instead I simply let her lead the way.
"That's fantastic, Sharon." My hand traveled to my cheek to get rid of the itch that had been bothering me since we came back. It was already the late afternoon. "Can I go rest now?"
"Huh?" Her bemused expression made me fully awake. "But it's barely noon."
Crap! It keeps slipping from me! Ever since the incident that left me with an incomplete heart, I've been very tired and no matter how much I slept my stamina never recovered fully. More so, it was starting to conflict my everyday routine. And since none of the others— 'cept Break —knew about my debilitating state, it was imperative that I kept up with appearances.
"W-Well, I didn't really sleep well yesterday. What, with all this commotion about the ceremony and Pandora's preparing for it, I've had bunch of sleepless nights from work." Giving her that lame excuse, I broke out into a nervous laughter trying to take away her attention from my slip of tongue. After a few minutes, she nodded but kept an air of doubt.
"I suppose you're right. Pandora has been in quite a hurry to prepare for it." And kidding she was not. Everybody and their mother was getting ready for this party and not exactly to celebrate it. With the prospect of that mansion being a possible location of one of the sealing stones, it's been hell at work.
"Oh, so here's where you have been all day." We both turned towards the door to find Break standing on the threshold while glancing our way.
"What's up?" I asked nonchalantly hiding away my exhaustion.
"I thought you'd like to spar. Got to keep up for the big day~"
It was impossible for me not to cringe under his innuendo. Since Break was the only person who knew about my continued debilitation, he made it a habit to train with me to keep me on my toes. This was like my newbie training all over again.
"She should rest Break," Sharon insisted with a small grimace. "She's just been telling me how she hasn't had much sleep because of work." Without listening to her tirade, I stood up and walked over to him.
"You know, maybe a good workout might help me get a goodnight's sleep." Without another word and before she could protest, I left with Break following after me.
Soon we arrived at the East Courtyard of Pandora where I sat down on a parapet to catch my breath. "Thanks for getting me out of there."
"No problem but I wasn't kidding about the sparring." I felt a tic on my jaw. Was he serious?
"I'm pretty tired as it is, Break. Maybe later."
When I began to leave, he held up his cane to keep me from getting any further. "Don't think so. You need to keep up with your illness and need to be on top shape for the ceremony."
Damn him. Yet again, he dragged me into it. He used his own scabbard while I used a spare sword from Oz's prior session with him. From there we spent quite an hour or two, perhaps more, sparring. Although he was the one to teach me everything I know, I was still no match for him. I could keep my ground but I couldn't make him lose his. But by the end of those two hours, I felt wasted both physically and mentally.
Pulling me by my forearm, Break dragged me to one of the nearby benches that laid about and sat me there. "In the past this much wouldn't even make you break a sweat," he commented while still standing to talk to me.
"Don't judge." My panting was clear and I couldn't help but feel exhausted. "I—can still go for some more."
"Don't." He pushed me back with his cane before I even got the chance to stand back up. "Besides, in a few days we'll be going head first into the enemy's nest. You'll need all the strength you have. So here—" At his abrupt offer, I merely stared at his hand that was stretched out towards me. "I'll take you back so you can rest."
Taking him up on his offer, I took his hand as he slung my arm over his shoulder and took me back to my room. Once there, before I could help myself, I threw myself onto the bed.
Weird how anywhere else a shrilling cold took over my body and skin. Anywhere but here, where a warmness crawled under my skin and warmed me through and through. He, on the other hand, took a sit on the chair of my desk and scoffed.
"Exhausted?"
"Like you can't fathom," I answer with a heavy sigh. Turning over on my back, I stare at the ceiling of the canopied bed and let my mind wander. "Break?"
"Hmm?"
Before I could rethink my words, the question poured out of my mouth. "How long do you think I have left? You know, before I..."
"Hard to say." At his vague answer, I turn towards him and watch him while he holds his cane with both his hands over it, his eyes closed. "But I wouldn't take anything for granted if I were you." At that, he broke into a small fit of laughter, "Then again, I suppose I am."
"You'll last longer than me," I deadpanned before anything. "Of that I'm sure." He didn't say anything else when a knock came to the door.
"Come in." With a green light to enter, Reim came through the door and came to face me as I took a sit on my bed.
"Miss Claire," he approached me and held out an envelope towards me. "This came in for you some time ago."
"For me?" Inspecting, the outside didn't say much about who it was from. "From whom?"
"An attendant from the Nightray Household brought it here. Said it was from the House of the White Angel."
Hastily, I opened the letter without the need of an opener. Maybe it wasn't what I thought. It hadn't happened ever since I left. It couldn't. My heartbeat hammered on my chest with each word I read. It couldn't be—no...
"What is it?" Break's curious tone brought me back.
"Nothing." Faking a smile, I folded the letter back up and stood only to place it inside my bed stand's drawer. "It's from Sister Fiona. I told her to notify me on the children's well being."
"I see." Please buy it. Please buy it! "Well—" he got up and caught up to Reim who was leaving my room. "I have some things to attend to so I'll leave you for today."
"Of course, good day." After hearing the door close after them I came up to it and locked it from the inside. Getting to my bed stand, I drew out the letter once more and read it over again. Clicking my tongue, I took both the letter and envelope and threw them in the hearth of the fire that was in my fireplace.
Another kid had died. James... I knew the pause had only been a calm before the storm. Even before I came to live there, kids were already dying from sickness every month or so. After a while it stopped and I thought it had only been some kind of passing epidemic. Alas, I suppose it hadn't. If Fiona had sent this to me then more than likely Leo knew as well. If I couldn't stomach his loss then Leo would be devastated. But I couldn't leave now to console him. Not now, at least.
Those days went by quick and soon it was the afternoon of. And although Pandora had been rushing here and there, there hadn't been much of a ruckus to bug my sleeping hours. So I had rested well the last couple of days. And although I was physically well, my mind was still on the verge of sleepiness.
That afternoon, I was in Sharon's room awaiting for her to get back with my dress. The thing had arrived just now and she had gone out to fetch it herself, despite me telling her that one of the maids would have it over soon.
When I heard fumbling of the doorknob, I knew she was ecstatic about dolling me up. Sighing, I opened the door and let her in. She held the box under one arm and Alice prisoner with the other.
"She caught you too?" I mocked with a smirk. Alice didn't answer apparently thralled by Sharon's mood.
"Now, let's get you two ready!"
Oh boy, this was going to be a long night—and here we go.
"Well~" Break chimed while gazing around the antebellum mansion which we had just entered. "As expected, this isn't the usual presentation ceremony for one of the members of the Four Great Dukedoms!"
"You know no shame, Xerxes Break," Reim called out for him to hear.
"Stop joking around and help me!" I hissed under my breath making the two turn towards me. I hate Sharon. And Elise. Both of them for making me wear this heavy thing tonight.
The gown that Sharon had Elise concoct was nothing like what I had imagined. It was of dark and light hues of blue mixed in with white. The top was a corset of a dark cobalt that constricted me and that tied behind my back and was over a sweetheart-shaped white top. The skirts were two layers over my petticoat and ruffles and were pinned up and gathered towards the left side of my hip. The colors were cobalt hues on the outside while it faded out to white towards the end focusing towards were they gathered. So the skirts exposed some of my left leg and feet that were standing on some decent heeled white heels that strapped up like ballerina shoes. Since my upper body was practically nude, I had to wear white gloves up to just above my elbows. I had a cobalt ribbon and bow over a white choker and a couple of white rose buds hanging beside Cloude's broche that rested on the choker. As earrings, I wore on my right a diamond stud shaped as a small star and on the left a diamond, drop earring of a crescent moon. My hair had been styled up into a bun behind my head while leaving some of my hair to flow on my shoulders. Adorning my bun were more white roses.
Hidden beneath the ruffles of the god awful dress was my dagger in its sheath and on the sheath my broche. But with all these fabric in the way, I would be lucky to draw it before I got killed.
"Oh come on, relax. It is a party." Break's mockery was getting my last string of patient to tense up even more.
That snide comment made me scowl at him while smoothing out the skirts of the dress. "Say that to me when you're the one with 'round the clock watch duty in this thing." Numerous swoons and squeals came to our ears and made us turn towards their origin only to find countless of women drooling over Vincent Nightray.
Clicking my tongue, we watched as he passed by. Without me realizing, he had snuck a glance towards me and gave me one of his frigid smiles. I had no choice but to reciprocate the gesture since we were out in public. Had we been alone, I'd be sticking a huge middle finger to this uncertainty that he gave me.
When Gilbert came out and became so rigid from the female attention that he wasn't used to, it made me laugh. Covering my mouth while I chuckled with the back of my hand, my ears perked when I heard that familiar annoyed voice of a certain blonde brat.
"Geez, that good-for-nothing!" Oz's pout made him look much younger than his acclaimed fifteen. Or twenty-five if you're technical. "Overshadowing his master—I'll have to severely punish him later."
"As if you would," I commented and plucked the white feather that I had on my dress. "For you, kid. Congratulations."
"Thanks." He took the feather with a big smile on his face. Even though we're in a covert mission this was still his party and he should be able to enjoy it if a little. "By the way," he started with a lopsided grin. "I don't think it's proper to call me a kid after this party."
"Hey, as long as you can't protect your own back you're still a kid in my eyes." We both laughed at our crude humor. After that Alice gave her feather to him. With her and, sadly, Yura, I began walking around with him as he greeted the guests that arrived.
A few minutes went by with that creep following us around until I heard a familiar someone calling out to Oz. "Hey shorty— What are you muttering to yourself for?"
There, gallant and in a damn nice suit, was Elliot with his arms crossed before him and the usual scowl plastered on his face. Oh, he never changes. It surprised me how different yet alike Oz and Elliot were as I watched them interact. Elliot, being merely a year older in appearance from Oz, gave a rather outstanding image of maturity. But the cigar had to go to Oz on that one. The brat may have a young body but I had to admit that he was pretty damn streetwise and conniving. More the latter when he was plotting out schemes for his tricks and mishaps. But when it counted, he knew exactly what to say.
"Claire." It startled me a bit to hear Elliot call my name. Facing forth from the ground, I met his gaze and instead of wearing the scowl he used with Oz, his eyes seemed relaxed and his features soft. "May I—" he hesitated somewhat which was weird in and of itself. "Have a word with you?"
"Sure."
A few seconds went by when he said nothing and this somehow aggravated him a bit for he sighed in frustration. "In private."
"Oh." Gazing aside, I spotted Oz who had glided off with Alice and Yura. I had to put my priorities in order. "I don't think that would be a good idea, Elliot. I'm wor—"
Before I could finish, something had caught me off guard and had knocked the breath out of me as it clung to my shoulders. Gazing over it, I watched Break's grin grow on his face while his hands laid on my shoulders. "Of course she can!" He must have foreseen my perplexed expression because he quickly answered my confusion in a hush whisper. "Eques has Oz. So—" He shoved me forward almost making me trip on the death traps that I was wearing as footwear. Luckily, Elliot was there to catch me before that happened. With haste, I turned to Break who was waving childishly towards us as he left. "Have fun and play nice, you two~"
"It's nothing like that!" I screeched but shut my mouth when I noticed that outburst grabbed some unwanted attention towards me. Heaving out a sigh, I turned towards Elliot who only stood there a bit confused. "Sorry, he's just like that."
"It's all right." He shook his head out of whatever he was thinking and offered me his arm. "Would you mind me leading you off?"
It was nice seeing him act so politely towards me, so I gave in and took the chance to play along. "Not at all." As he led me off, I began hearing murmurs from other women that caught sight of us. Needless to say that most of what I heard were words of disgust over my presence with him and what I wore. "Seriously, they wouldn't be able to keep their thoughts to themselves even if their lives depended on it," I huffed in annoyance.
"Don't mind them," he added patting my hand that rested on his forearm. "It's mindless chatter and frankly, it's idiotic that they do it behind someone's back."
"True," I agreed and after a few more seconds saw where he was leading me to.
"Claire!" Before, I could even unlatch from Elliot, Vanessa had launched herself at me and hugged me. A bit shocked, it took me a few seconds to recover and embrace her back. She pulled away to gaze at me. "You look beautiful."
"Thank you. As do you, Young Mistress." At seeing her attire fully, a small chuckle escapes me, "And I can see you have yet again gotten away with not using a dress."
"Of course I have!" she gleefully spoke while Elliot stood aside with a small smile on his face. Vanessa kept talking to me for a bit after. While half my mind was on her conversation the other kept going back to the stark show of emotion. Usually this was never her whether in the open or in her own home. Ever since Madame shut herself out from the world, Vanessa has been a very lonely woman. I knew that my company meant a lot to her and it meant much to me too.
Interrupting us briefly, Elliot cleared his throat to catch our attention. "I said I would bring her here but never said I would give her up all night."
"Oh but Elly!" she called out.
"Now, Elliot did ask for me first, Vanessa. If anything I should at least see what he wants." At hearing out my logic, Vanessa nodded and let go of me.
But before letting go for good, she smiled at me while grabbing my hands in hers. "I'm glad that I'm able to talk to you again, Claire. Would it be possible...after this, if you could come more often to do this again?"
I didn't miss a heartbeat to answer her. "Of course! Anything for you." With that peace of mind, I left once more with Elliot.
Chuckling a bit, I gazed at him as he took me away again. "Was that what you wanted to talk to me for?"
"Not...exactly." His vague answer wasn't something I expected from him. Elliot has always been the most straight-forth person I've known. Hesitance wasn't something he practiced much of. But since I couldn't really complain, I simply let him lead me off to wherever he was taking me. Soon, we got outside while the noise of the party subsided to mere murmurs. Out in the back gardens there weren't many people since all the ruckus was going on inside. A round fountain took a place some feet away from the double doors we had exited. He took me closer to it, and it was then that I noticed that the fountain wasn't showering water and the water was calmly still with nothing to disturb it.
"Thanks, I needed a break from the whole job indoors." Taking a deep breath, I came up to the fountain and sat down while facing the tranquil water. It was so clear and still that I could see my reflection crystal clear upon its surface.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, just needed a breather."
"I'm not talking about that." He came up closer and I heard him sit down across from me. Not only that but I saw his reflection upon the fountain's water as he kept a sullen gaze upon me while I kept mine upon the water. "It's going to be two months already since Cloude's..." His eyes glanced away and he didn't finish the sentence he intended to say.
"Passed away?" I finished it for him noticing that that had caught his attention back to me. For some reason I scoffed at that reaction. Not daring to look directly at him while I spoke again, I simply glanced briefly towards his reflection. "You sure know how start up a conversation, huh?" Leaving the jokes aside, I stared back at my own, the only eye contact I kept being mine. "I'm fine."
"You don't seem like it," he readily answered leaning a bit forth. He remained quiet for a few seconds before continuing. "You look kind of...disturbed." That was some way to put it.
"Mm, I don't think so." Huh? Weird, my voice sounded off. I swore I heard some lilt in it. "Do you?"
"Yeah. I mean, I've lost plenty of my brothers too but I never had to personally witness their deaths. It must be hard, itself."
"Not really."
"You're lying."
"I'm not."
"Then why are you crying?"
His sudden remark made me gaze up at my reflection that I hadn't even noticed I had stopped staring at. Just when my eyes looked up, something stirred my reflection on the still water. My hand reached up to my face and wiped away the tears that had spurned out without me noticing.
But before I could reach my other, his hand grasped mine by my wrists. "Don't do that. If you want to, do it. Cry if you want to cry."
"Don't patronize me." A scowl came to my features that I noticed on the water. "I'm not weak."
"Stop having those stupid thoughts!" he hissed at me keeping my wrists in his hands. "Crying doesn't mean that you're weak." He stopped briefly as if debating whether to say his next words or not. In the end, he voiced them aloud for me to hear. "You know, you cry not because you're weak but because you've been holding strong for far too long." Those words caught me off guard for a moment and gave him enough time to continue. "All the time that I have known you, you have never cried because you wanted to. It has always been out of regret, fear, but never to let out your pain. If you keep going like this you'll break."
I'm already breaking, Elliot. But those words didn't dare come out of my mouth.
He took another aggravated breath before he went on. "Don't just stay quiet. Let it out. You haven't talked to anyone about your pain, not even Leo. You can't just not say anything. It'll eat you from the inside. So, if anything, tell me. I won't say anything but please, just say somthing: what's hurting you? What's keeping you from talking? What's got you so damn scared?!"
"Death."
My hands reached out to my lips that had unconsciously let the one word slip from my mind. He had pestered me so much that I was getting annoyed. I couldn't help but say it.
It's true though.
Yes, it was. Cloude's death and my own made me realize just how lonely dying was. Just how painful it was leaving the people you loved behind, and how much it hurt as well. I didn't want that. I'm not strong like my brother. And now that it's drawing nearer by the second—that I keep losing what's left of me—I just want to lie down and cry. I just want to deny this so much in the hope that it might make it so.
I just...
I just—!
"I—I don't want to die!"
The train wreck that was my mind finally careened out of control and brought me to utter tears. Disheveled and having no other outlet, I finally caved in to that wretched feeling I had every night of wanting just to cry.
Pulling me onto him, I cried on his shoulders while he soothingly rubbed my back. I heard his voice whisper in my ear as I wept that it was going to be all right and for me to just let it all out. "I'll be here for as long as you need me."
He'll be here. That's all I wanted. When my heart shattered and I was drifting further and further away, I came to be in a sullen place where nothing but darkness reigned. There it was so peaceful but it was so lonely. I had no consciousness of where I was or what had happened to me. Worst of all, I had no memory of the people I loved. There was nothing there. I was all alone. But now he's here and I don't have to be alone anymore. Ever. That's all I've ever wanted.
Once my weeping had subsided to a quiet sobbing, he brought me to arm's length and held my face in his large palms and with his thumbs brushed away the tears that remained on my eyes. "It's all right for you to say those things aloud. Because once you do, we'll come to know that fear and find a way to help you through it. So, don't hold back from now on. And if you ever need someone that's not Leo or Vanessa to talk to, you'll always have me."
Those words brought a smile to my face. He was an idiot, really. Making me cry out in public. But he was right, it felt so liberating to let all that out finally. Such a pig-headed guy, through and through. And yet...I simply—
"Here." His voice snapped me out of any thought I was going through and my eyes found his hands rummaging about the inside of his coat. Out of one of the pockets from inside it, he took out a white, rectangular box that looked no bigger than my palms put together. It seemed simple enough. "For you." He reached out for me to take it and I hesitantly did so. Glancing from the box in my hands to him, he simply nodded its way letting me know it was okay to open it. Taking that for what it was worth, I began undoing the tiny ribbon and opened the box. My breath caught at seeing the small oval of bright zircon encircled by silver and with something inside. It was a nice black velvet choker necklace with the zircon pendant on the choker.
But... "Why for me?" I know one never questioned a gift but I didn't get it.
"Leo and I both missed your birthday the year you went away. It may be a little early but we wanted to give you something." Chuckling, I took the small pendant with the choker all out from the box and held it in my hands. He pointed at the small thing that I noticed had been infused inside the gem. "You see that? It's statice."
"Like...that song you wrote." My cheeks were a bit molten but I couldn't help it. I was brimming from happiness. That day when Elliot had given that song to Leo as a gift of friendship, Elliot had called me out and given me the chance to write lyrics for it as well.
"Why me though?"
"That'll be my gift for both of you. As corny as Leo may think it is, I believe it's nice. Don't you?"
"Sure, if you're a cheapskate maybe."
He'd been pretty flustered at my comment but in the end I accepted the opportunity and joined to finish the song with them. In actuality, that was the song that I had played the year's White Flora with. It had been amazing and although Elliot wasn't there to see it, I thanked him for the gift afterwards. This year's was going to be one of the songs that they had composed together that I remembered. But, well, that was utterly out of the question now.
But nonetheless, it was a beautiful touch and it made it special. At remembering something, I chuckled making him huff. "What is it?"
"You're actually a little late." My comment gave him a perplexed look and only made me smile more. "The date that you and Leo know of is the day I appeared at the House of the White Angel, not my actual birthday. As it turns out, it was a three days after the short stalk." Unconsciously, I gave a nod towards the party. "The 29th was a while ago but...I'm glad you still remembered an I love the gesture. Thank you."
A confused look came over him when I passed the necklace his way. "I need help putting it on." He took it and I turned to give him my back while picking my hair up from behind. Going around my shoulders, he placed the ribbon to rest on my neck before clasping it from behind. Once he told me he was done, I turned to look at myself on the fountain water. It clashed a bit with the ribbon I wore already for my dress but it was gorgeous. Most of all, it meant something to me. Another treasure for me to have.
Just then he stood up and held out his hand to me, gaining from me a perplexed look. "Would you grant me this piece, my lady?"
Smiling, I placed my hand atop his own. "It would be my pleasure."
He helped me stand up and held me up to him so that we could stand properly to dance. It was somewhat odd to have him so close to me. His body warmth was coming onto me and it was very forthcoming. It was nice, almost heartwarming. And as we danced, I noticed we weren't even following the choppy music inside the mansion. It was like we were waltzing to a wonderful orchestra that only we could hear as he spun me around and caught me back in his arms.
It was so peaceful to be here in his arms. Here with him. The music in us ended and we stood together simply gazing into each other. How odd that everything seemed to just go away when he was with me. It was heaven. Without me knowing it, he began to lean down towards me. Closer and closer—
And the only thought that occurred to me then was that I didn't care anymore whether he was my master and I a servant girl. All this time all that one thought was doing was constricting my feelings. These feelings that just now I've embrace. Ones that tell me that all I wanted and ever needed was him. To be near him. To have him—
"Young Master Elliot?"
When I noticed that someone else had shattered my entrancement, I jumped hysteric but his hold kept me close to him. Elliot sighed in frustration and answered the one who had called for him yet never taking his eyes from my own. Mine were a little more skittish.
"What is it, Hans?"
"There are some noblemen that wish to make your acquaintance."
"I'll be there in a minute." With that assurance, Vanessa's valet left leaving us alone once more. Now that all the hormones had blown off of me from that last scare, it was getting a little hard to be here with him...by ourselves. Not because it would look inappropriate but because I didn't trust myself at this instant to maintain any semblance of control.
Out of the blue, Elliot's head fell upon my shoulder. Curious how that action itself made any effort to keep cool fly out the window. I didn't know for sure if it was him or I from where the warm temperature was coming from but either way, it was sort of embarrassing. Those butterflies in my stomach left after a couple of minutes and when those minutes drew longer I just had to say something.
"You should go," I mumble softly, not really trusting my voice at this moment.
"I don't want to." His hands had let go of mine and had wrapped onto my elbows, holding me tighter. He sounded like a little kid.
That brought a small grin to my face. "Vanessa will come if you don't go now, Elliot." My mentioning of his sister brought him back to his senses and made him stand up tall to face me. As he did, I caught the gaze he gave me and the smile he wore upon his face. His hand traveled up and came to cup my cheek.
Then he did the unthinkable. He leaned in and gently pressed a chaste kiss upon my cheek. "Wait here. I still haven't said what I wanted to." With that he left me, speechless, to wait.
I couldn't even stand and fell to a sit on the fountain that I hadn't noticed had been turned on sometime before all this. But my mind wasn't in the right place right this moment.
Elliot, he...he kissed me.
"I heard you're not feeling too well."
Huh? That voice caught me off-guard and made me turn about to see who was beyond the fountain. The voice came from somewhere over there, beyond the foliage. Treading my way there as quietly as I could, I found myself just a few feet away from a statue where Leo was. And where Yura was slithering over to.
"You shouldn't be outside, should you? Leo—"
Ah the fluffiness is strong with this one -w- I loved and sadly was the only fluffy scene I wrote on the first version of this story.
But, I liked how it came out and hoped you all like it too c:
So until next time~ :D
