Chapter Six: I'm Trying
"The moment I saw you, I wanted you all to myself."
Butcher's words repeated loudly in her ears as his lips moved against hers.
Olivia coughed and fought for her breath when he lifted his lips.
"Why? How? I represent all that you hate."
Butcher shifted until he was laying alongside her. She was proud for not flinching when he traced his rough fingertips along the line of her jaw as he lowly spoke. "I saw you when I thought I was dying, you saved me not knowin' who I could've been."
Butcher continued trailing the contours of her body until he could draw small circles on the smooth skin of her hip as he added. "Thank you for saving my life."
Butcher smoothed his hand down her thigh and reluctantly lifted it to grab her hand, his palm warm against hers, his strong fingers intertwining with hers. She tried to pull her hand back, but he tightened his grip. "Talk to me," he growled.
"I have no idea what you want me to say," she managed as she met his eyes.
Butcher squeezed her hand before releasing it. He raised the same hand to brush his thumb along her lower lip. "You don't have to say anything now, there'll be lots of time for that later."
"What time?" Olivia said with more life as she pushed against broad chest. Her actions produced nothing but a deep chuckle from him.
"We need to put a lot more miles between us and those fuckin Supes."
"You can't really expect me to travel cross fucking country with you?"
Butcher's lips pulled into a slow smile as he pulled her roughly into his embrace. "I do," he started with a nod. "Do you really think Vought would let you live even if you hitchhiked your way home?"
Olivia forgot her fear for a minute. "They wouldn't possibly hurt me; I didn't do anything wrong."
"You saved my life; they won't know what you said to keep yourself alive."
Olivia fell silent as she processed his words. His body was too warm, his arms too tight and threatened to overwhelm her senses.
Butcher felt Olivia tense and crushed her to his chest before she could try and turn inside out to get away from him.
Olivia closed her eyes and let herself get swept up in the whirlwind of Butcher's masculine, woodsy aroma as she took as deep a breath as his embrace would allow.
She spoke as she kept her eyes squeezed shut. "How long until I can go home?"
As Butcher carefully constructed an answer before speaking, back at the mechanic shop, turned safe house, turned crime scene, a double-gloved technician pulled Olivia's plastic badge from the rubble.
Frenchie's battered form was unearthed from where several steel beams had nearly bisected his body.
Hughie's crushed corpse was uncovered under the vending machine that Olivia had had her stale packaged potato chip dinner.
Mother's Milk's formidable frame was no match for the fire that Homelander and Stormfront had started, his heart had stopped, and his brain's neurons stopped firing before he felt much pain.
Homelander had burned three interns to death where they stood when no traces of The Female or Starlight were found among the death and destruction.
As Stormfront hovered over one of her social media fuck boys, her close proximity making his baby dick hard, back in the shitty hotel, Butcher lifted a hand to cup Olivia's face until she met his eyes as he spoke softly.
"Your home is now wherever I am love," Butcher growled and watched the color drain from Olivia's face as she frowned.
"You can't do that, I'm….," she managed to stammer before he interrupted her.
"You're what?"
"I'm. I'm," Olivia stuttered fought to not look away from his searching gaze.
"You got some chap at home?"
"No," she managed as she collected her thoughts.
"Wee ones?"
"No, none of those things," she said with a chuckle.
Butcher was relieved to feel some of the tension recede and he lessened his hold on her until she could shift somewhat.
"Then what?"
Olivia scoffed, "how can you ask that? Do you really think I'm going to just uproot my entire life and live with you?"
She blinked rapidly as he nodded. "What else do you have planned for me?"
Butcher had to quickly wrap her back up in his arms as she resumed squirming. "We'll find a house and get settled love; it'll calm down."
"Do I even have a choice?" Olivia asked on a defeated sigh as his embrace became nearly suffocating.
She closed her eyes as Butcher leaned closer and pressed his lips against her clammy forehead.
Olivia let herself be wrapped up in the press of his naked flesh against hers, the dampness at the apex of her thighs and the sound of her heart pounding in her ears.
"Do I?" she murmured as Butcher smoothed a hand down her back and cupped the curve of her bottom before he spoke.
"As long as it's my choice," he growled as he squeezed her bare flesh until she gasped and would notice grape-sized bruises within a couple hours.
"If I were to choose differently?" Olivia asked.
Butcher raised up to find her eyes before he spoke. "I'd have to insist," he admitted flatly.
Olivia licked her lips nervously before she pressed them together, she couldn't put together a sentence.
Butcher groaned as he watched her pink tongue dart out and moisten her lips. He slid a hand down between them and stroked his softened cock, urging it to get hard. He dropped his face to the curve of her neck and inhaled deeply, pulling her warm smell into his lungs.
"It won't be so bad love, we won't end up living in a place like this," he murmured against the pulse under the smooth skin of her neck.
"What do you expect from me?" Olivia asked as he tugged at her hips and shifted them until she was underneath him.
Butcher stared down at her wordlessly for what seemed much longer than it was.
He held his breath at the same time she did as he smoothed her hair off her forehead, the strands sticking to her flushed skin.
"We don't need to talk about all that right now, why don't we head out and you can get some real food?" he murmured as he nodded towards the remnants of her cellophane packaged snack.
Olivia shook her head, "no, I need to know now," she managed to stammer before pausing briefly to bite her lip. "I need to know what you expect, what's going to happen to me. Please," she finished in a rush.
Butcher wanted to hear her say please again, he wanted to hear it at least twice a day for the rest of his life. He slid his hand down between them to stroke his rigidity that had gained a spark of growing appetite when he thought of her asking him to please sink himself inside her.
Olivia struggled and failed to hide a wince as she shifted uncomfortably underneath him, her lower body aching. She desperately wanted to clean herself. She didn't like the direction of the conversational terrain and she felt like she was talking herself into a bear trap.
"Did I hurt you?" Butcher asked as he nervously cleared his throat.
"Not permanently," she whispered and tried to not look down and watch his hand moving on his hardening cock.
"I've been trying to convey something to you," Butcher started before trailing off into silence.
Confusion painted itself across her face as he lapsed into silence but never stopped moving his hand on his hardening rigidity.
"What are you trying to say?"
Butcher didn't know how to express his needs. He'd never cared or felt he had to ask for permission from anyone, he simply took what he wanted.
As he stared down at her neck, he struggled to find words that he had never spoken before. Affection was a foreign concept and sex had always been a physiological act. Perfunctory, near autonomous.
"What would it take for you to want me?" he asked in a ragged whisper, his eyes never leaving hers.
His words startled her. "What?" was all she lamely managed, breaking her eyes from his searching gaze.
"What would it take for you to be with me, to want me?"
"I don't know what to say to that, I don't understand?" she stammered.
"It's not complicated," Butcher murmured as he gently reached out a hand and traced his fingertips along her jawline.
Olivia remained absolutely still in his warm embrace, his words echoing in her skull. She took a deep breath as she counted the steady rise and fall of each of his breaths. She counted six of his inhalations before speaking.
"I can't give you an answer just like that." She stumbled over her words and tried to slip out of his embrace.
"No," he whispered urgently and closed his arms around her, trapping her against his broad chest.
"Tell me you'll think about it," he practically demanded as he felt a spike in his desire to possess her and shifted until he could urge her thighs further apart. Butcher felt her inner thighs relax from their death grip against his sides and he was able to slide closer until their intimate flesh nearly kissed.
He felt her nod against his chest and mumbled something unintelligibly.
Butcher leaned back just enough for her to lift her chin and meet his eyes.
"I will," she murmured with defeat in her tone and reflected in her sagging body underneath him. Olivia sniffed hard and couldn't keep a few bloated tears from slipping from her eyes and roll down her flushed cheeks.
Butcher lifted one hand to brush the shiny drops from her face, the tears clinging to his rough fingertips and moistening his ragged cuticles.
He wanted to stop making everything a demand. When Butcher looked at her, he pictured being able to catch the falling heirloom glass hummingbird that his mother had held so close. He wanted to stop taking by force, but he couldn't risk losing her within his arms, home, and life.
Butcher traced the head of his cock in circles around her sensitive intimacy. Olivia gave a low hiss and pushed at his hand when he started teasing his fingertips along her feminine folds.
"I'd like to clean up and I'm sore," she admitted in a rush.
Butcher lifted his fingertips. "Do you need medical attention?"
Olivia kept her hand firmly on his thick forearm, "no, I just need a little time." He could hear her breathing rapidly increase as she tried to keep from panicking at his prolonged silence.
Butcher dropped his face to the warm curve of her neck. His beard scratched the skin of her throat. "I'm trying hard to not insist," he whispered raggedly against the side of her neck. His hands began to move erratically over her body.
Olivia gasped when he smoothed a hand to cup her breast and squeezed as gently as he could manage with his fierce need to possess her. "I'm trying," he groaned as he couldn't fight his desire any longer.
"I promise I'll take care," Butcher said on a ragged sigh as he nuzzled his face against her ear, speaking softly. "I want to see all of you," he growled as he sat back and gently nudged her further thighs apart and felt his resolve dissipate completely as he grasped his hardened length and positioned himself at her opening as he tightened his hands on her hips.
"Not too vigorous," Olivia said with a surge of panic in her voice as she dropped her hand to his wrist.
Butcher looked down at her hand that closed around his wrist and tightly squeezed. Olivia dropped her eyes from his heated gaze and looked at his hand gripped around his rigid cock.
"I swear," he groaned as he added raggedly. "Guide me inside you."
Olivia bit back a gasp of pain as she tightened her grip on his wrist and helped him slide his engorged cock inside her. Her aching canal spasmed around his length and he squeezed the flesh of her hips as he watched her eyes widen from the invasion.
Butcher pressed his lips to hers as he sank himself inside her, stretching her aching center of intimacy.
He kept his rhythm slow and even, luxuriating in the feeling of sinking into her hot, tight center as he brushed her hair away from her neck and pressed his lips to her flushed skin. He felt a jolt through his body when he coaxed a pleasurable sounding moan from her as he licked a line up her neck and pressed his lips firmly over the large pulse in her neck.
"So beautiful," he whispered, and lifted his face to catch and hold her eyes as he bent her knees and brought them up to his waist as he increased his rhythm.
Olivia watched Butcher's eyes fill with an unreadable emotion and she started to feel like caught prey when he caught her slim wrists and held her arms back against the tangled bed linen.
He sheathed himself as fully as he could inside her as he felt his climax overtake him.
Butcher released her hands as he felt himself come back to earth, his pulse pounding loudly in his ears.
Olivia reached up and hesitatingly placed her fingertips on his strong jawline. She traced along his cheekbones and down the slope of his nose.
She moved her thumb across his lower lip and gave an involuntary yelp when he grabbed her wrist with the swift strike of a rattlesnake.
Olivia held her breath as Butcher pressed his lips to the center of her palm.
The last thing he wanted to do was move from where he was, but he knew Vought would start putting pieces together fast and they needed more miles between them and Vought's army of creations.
Butcher lifted his lips and whispered close to her skin; each word was spoken on a warm exhale. "We can talk more when we get a whole lot further from those fucking Supes."
