Ayurnamat - The philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that cannot be changed.
Grant Ward was an intelligent person – intelligent enough to realize that he was too small, too weak, too insignificant to stop certain things from happening.
He didn't have the ability to stop the Sun from rising.
He couldn't save every single person in the world.
He couldn't stop HYDRA from destroying the very core of S.H.I.E.L.D.
So he decided not to care about things like that (it's a funny thing – deciding not care; it rarely ever works). So he simply decided to live his life the best way he could.
(In hindsight, it was a rather shitty life.)
Of course, when he realized that he was falling in love with Skye – another thing he didn't have power over –, he panicked.
Love – attachments – was wrong. It was a weakness. It clouded your judgement. It distracted you from your actual goals.
Love was a luxury he didn't need or deserve.
So he decided not to love her (again – there are some things you can't just decide not to do).
It failed spectacularly.
Because she would smile at him or crack a joke or sit down next to him or twirl a lock of hair around her finger or chew on the end of her pencil when deep in thought or make a sarcastic remark or do anything, absolutely anything, just being her, and his heart would speed up right away, beating hard in his chest, and–
It was pointless.
He loved her.
She was his light.
His reason for existence.
So he gave up – gave up on trying to act like she didn't matter. Like he wasn't stupidly in love with her (he had never felt like this before).
So he decided… Well, he decided to simply love her, everybody else and what the future may hold to be damned.
Not that he had any power over it anyway.
