A/N: Chapter 2 of 3 is here. Remember, this is the interlude set within An Inconvenient Truth so we're not driving a heavy plot here. This part centers more on openness about turn ons while last chapter was more sexuality-oriented and the final one will look at past relationships. Now, keep in mind, I took even more liberties here than in AIC because the show offered basically no insight into their sex lives. As you'll see, I certainly have some...ahem...opinions. Happy reading!
Saturday, March 29, 2020
"God, what a week," Jane sighed as she collapsed backward onto Maura's sofa. "Everything is just going to shit, isn't it?"
Maura looked up from her laptop on the other side of the sofa, peering at Jane through her blue light glasses and feeling like she had just surfaced from a deep dive. "I suppose," she said slowly, trying to center herself. "It's what we prepared for, though, right?" She pulled her glasses off her face, closed her laptop, and reached for Jane, pulling her feet across her lap. "It's what brought you home."
Jane stroked her feet against Maura's thighs. "I'm sorry...you were trying to write and I just barged in. Do you want me to leave you be?"
"It's okay." Maura shrugged. "It's Saturday and it has been a long week." She leaned back against cushions and let her eyes drift shut, the weight of Jane's legs warming her comfortably. The week had seemed unnecessarily long. Maybe it was the fact that the virus, in keeping people home, had contributed to a week of few cases and no roll outs at the ME's office. Or that as a result, Jane, Maura, and Angela had all been home all week with no outings except for Jane's daily runs and whenever Maura could pull Jane out for a walk. The changes in routine, combined with the stress of the ongoing public health crisis and the...ahem...developments in her and Jane's physical relationship, was definitely taking its toll. Maura was tired. And...not exactly cranky but wavering on the edge.
"Did I tell you," she murmured, eyes still closed as she stroked Jane's stockinged feet. "That there's talk of pulling anyone with a degree and a license into the hospitals if we start to surge?" She startled, eyes flying open as Jane suddenly pulled her feet off her lap and scooted nearly on top of her on the sofa.
"Maura," Jane said urgently, reaching one arm across Maura's shoulders and the other across her lap, anchoring them close. "You definitely did not mention that."
Maura didn't meet her eyes. "It's not unexpected," she explained. "And we're not there yet. Not like New York."
Now Jane was the one to close her eyes. "Maura. You can't go and work in a hospital. Not with one kidney. I won't let you." She squeezed Maura to her a little, her own words frightening her enough to physically need to have Maura as close to her as possible.
Maura, however, didn't seem to welcome the contact. She shifted slightly but just enough for Jane to get the message. Jane could barely open her mouth to apologize, or explain, before Maura was firing back. "I'm not any happier about it that you are," she snapped, frustrated. "But if it comes down to it, I don't see how I have a choice. It's my job."
"Honey," Jane started, barely noticing her term of endearment as she barreled forward into the argument at hand, but Maura cut her off.
"I don't like...I don't want to be called that," Maura muttered, meeting Jane's eyes to show that she was serious.
Jane had started off confused at how things could have escalated so quickly but now had moved onto to just feeling hurt. "You didn't seem to mind the other night," she shot back and instantly regretted it. The other night, their first night, had been everything she could have hoped for, and the nights that had followed had been equally as enjoyable. Throwing it in Maura's face was ill-advised, and Jane realized too late that she had crossed a line.
Maura flew out of Jane's grasp and off the sofa, nearly upending her laptop in her haste to get away. "I'll be in the shower," she spat over her shoulder as she headed for the stairs.
Jane let her go, falling back onto the cushions with a groan. Fucking great.
-R-I-
Maura stood under the waterfall of her shower head, arms crossed over her chest and a pout on her face. She was cold despite the high temperature that she had set the dial on but stubborn enough to refuse to concede. If she turned off the shower and left the bathroom, she'd have to face Jane and Maura wasn't ready for that yet. She'd overreacted and she owed Jane an apology for that part, but Jane's use of their sex in their fight had been a low blow.
She was so deep in thought that she barely noticed when the bathroom door opened softly and Jane slipped into the room, quietly stepping out of her clothes and into the shower. Maura gasped when Jane materialized in front of her, knocking her out of her thoughts and right into the confrontation she had been wanting to avoid.
Except that confrontation never came. Jane simply wrapped her arms around Maura, pulling their slick bodies close together under the warmth of the shower spray, and held her for a long time. Finally, she spoke.
"I'm sorry," she breathed. "For everything. You're right...it's your job and your decision, and you're allowed to tell me what you like and what you don't without me throwing it back in your face." She stroked Maura's hips and nuzzled down into the shorter woman's neck. "I love you, and I don't ever want to fight with you. Especially with all of this shit happening out in the world."
Maura shook her head, easing back from Jane so that she could look at her when she answered. "It's not all on you to apologize. I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you. You're right to worry, and it's not all about me anymore. We're both in this together and you have a right to have an opinion about it."
She leaned forward to kiss Jane gently. "And," she whispered, saving the best little piece for last. "I'm not...so opposed to pet names. I like them sometimes but not during arguments." Maura felt Jane's lips smile against hers as she kissed her again.
"So, I can call you baby if we're having sex but not honey if we're fighting?"
Maura turned around in Jane's embrace, sighing as Jane's hands drifted to her waist and then her arms wrapped around her midsection. Jane kissed her shoulder tenderly, working her way up to her collarbone and her neck and her cheek. "Not anything if we're fighting," she murmured drowsily, the hot water finally doing what she hoped it would. "But if we're not...I don't think I'd mind it." She squirmed as Jane's hands traced their way up her belly to cup her breasts.
Jane kissed her shoulder again. "You're in charge, sweetheart."
-R-I-
"You wanna lay down for awhile" Jane mumbled some time later once they'd finally turned off the shower and shuffled tiredly into their bedroom. She haphazardly pulled clothes out from the single drawer she had claimed in Maura's dresser, too tired to enunciate. The tension from the fight and its subsequent release, along with the heat of the shower and the post-orgasmic bliss from their activities had drained her of her desire to do much of anything else.
Maura seemed equally over the day. "Yeah," she hummed without any elaboration. Jane absently noted that if Maura was tired enough for slang and no details, a nap was more than in order. Dressed now, she strolled over to the nightstand to grab her phone, smiling a little as she noticed that she and Maura had inadvertently chosen the same outfits - panties with basic camisoles on top. How cliche were they?
"I'm texting Ma," she said instead, choosing not to comment on their twinning looks or on Maura's shapely legs and tiny waist and perfect bust line. "I'm telling her that you're tired and we're napping. Because if I tell her I'm tired it'll backfire and she'll be over here to hover. You, she'll respect enough to leave alone."
Maura shrugged and climbed into her side of the bed. "Your mother also doesn't want to catch us having sex," she threw out, not bothering to check for Jane's sure-to-be horrified face in response. She shivered for a moment on the cool sheets, glad that she had taken the few extra minutes to dry her hair, and immediately curled into Jane's warmth as Jane climbed in beside her. Maura felt her entire body relaxing as Jane immediately pulled her into her side and started to stroke her still-warm hair soothingly, rhythmically. "Do you really want to sleep," Maura asked. "Or were you just telling your mother that to keep her out?"
Jane was quiet for a moment. "It doesn't matter. I could probably fall asleep anywhere, anytime if given the chance, but it's nice just to lay here and take it easy. And just be close to you."
Maura took that as an opening. "I never really took you as one for cuddling." Jane tightened her grip on Maura a bit, as if the question had somehow offended her. Maura hoped not. "Not that I'm complaining. You and I...we've always been so physically affectionate. I just meant in your past romantic relationships."
"I guess not," Jane offered thoughtfully, as if she had never really thought about it. "I never was particularly touchy-feely with guys, sex aside."
"Why?" Maura felt the air shift a little bit as the drowsiness of their afternoon dovetailed into something deeper, another one of their honesty hours, as Jane had jokingly taken to referring to them as. She was curious though; just like Maura had said to Jane a week ago in a burst of insecurity, she often felt like she was flying blind with Jane in a relationship sense. Jane, and even she herself to some degree, had always been tight-lipped about the details of their sex lives. Maura, ever the Type-A and star student, couldn't help but feel like she was at a loss. She knew Jane so intimately but...not, all at the same time. And as much as Maura racked her brain, she had virtually no memory of any conversation in which Jane shared anything, anything at all, about what she liked in bed. Or didn't like in bed. Or anything in basically the "bed" category. Maura wasn't used to feeling inadequate and unprepared and she didn't like it. And to add to it, their intimacy so far had been rather...Maura-focused that it made her all the more uneasy that she wasn't going about things the right way.
To her relief, Jane seemed to roll with it, perhaps even a bit bolstered by her ability to have this conversation with Maura in her arms. "I don't know exactly why," she admitted. "I wasn't really into the whole afterglow cuddling thing. I mean, I wouldn't, like, push it away but I definitely didn't initiate it. And even outside of sex, I can't say I was ever overly affectionate with the guys I was with. That's what made you so different."
Maura let her hands wander. "You always seemed perfectly comfortable with me. And basically right from the beginning. I remember thinking that you were so sweet and affectionate that it so contrasted with your detective persona and your attitude. And that you must have had all of these girlfriends growing up and people in your life that had helped you to feel comfortable with affection, because I didn't, and I wasn't."
Jane chuckled, the vibrations ticking Maura's cheek. "Well, you found out pretty quickly that wasn't true. I was certainly no poster child for female friendship and girl talk"
Now it was Maura's turn to be thoughtful. "And that confused me even more. When I really got to know you and could see how you didn't even like your mother hugging you at times, and you seemed to push off everyone but me, I couldn't figure out why. I guess it was staring me in the face even back then."
"I think I was confused, too. I would have told anyone outright that touching wasn't my thing. I think everyone knew that. But touching you and letting you touch me...it showed me that I didn't dislike affection. I just only could like it if it was from the right person."
"We'll add that to the list," Maura offered, only half-kidding. "Physical affection is a plus for us both, and pet names are…"
"Okay when we're not fighting," Jane filled in ruefully. "I remember. Which is also funny, because before you, I would have never been caught dead calling someone baby. And if someone called me baby, they usually got punched."
"So you're saying that you won't punch me? And is that just for baby or are you open to suggestions?" Maura wriggled a bit, giggling as Jane pinched her hips gently.
"No, smart ass. You can call me whatever you want. But preferably not in front of my brothers or I will never, ever live it down. No matter how much they like you."
"Deal." They settled into an easy silence then, each paging back through years of memories, remembering the things that they seemed to avoid or find distasteful in others only to embrace openly with each other. It was amazing, Maura thought, what sort of revelations hindsight could bring. For two supposedly bright people, they had certainly been ignoring the obvious for years.
"That can't be it." Jane's comment interrupted her reverie. "Come on, Doctor Isles. I know you're just dying to ask. Out with it.'
"Out with what?" Maura couldn't resist the dodge one last time. Sometimes Jane had to be the one to say it or her tendency to bury it all would never correct itself.
Jane rolled over so they were nose-to-nose like so many other times before in their bed. "You want to know all of the dirty details. What turns me on. What turns me off. All of my secret kinks."
Maura was more aroused than she anticipated. "You have those?" Her feeble attempt at a joke came out breathless and certainly interested.
Jane deflated a little. "Well, not really," she admitted. "Not anything too crazy or weird. Why...what about you?
Maura quirked her eyebrows teasingly. "Not really," she parroted. "Nothing too crazy or weird." She laid quietly, staring Jane straight in her eyes and daring her to blink. She was reminded of that evening so long ago in the Dirty Robber, her and Jane with their heads bent together over a bag of zeppoles, squinting at each other and trying not to laugh. Maura had wondered, even that night, what would have happened if Jane had leaned in and kissed her instead of stealing the donuts.
Surprisingly, Jane did blink. "Okay," she sighed. "Get the confessional ready." But she said so with a smile in her voice and with a quick kiss on Maura's lips, so different from their denial days of the past. "Ask away, Doctor Isles."
-R-I-
"Favorite sex position?"
"Wow, we're just going all in, aren't we? Um. Missionary? I guess."
"You cannot be serious."
"Okay, well, then what's yours, if that's so wrong?"
"I like being on top. But that's not the point. I just never saw you as the missionary type."
"Well, what type DID you see me as, Doctor Isles?"
"I assumed that in bed you'd be as dominating as you tend to be in every other part of your life."
"I don't even know how I'm supposed to respond to that." Jane threw her hands over her eyes. What had she gotten herself into. "Aaaghhh. Why is this so difficult?"
Maura propped herself up on her elbow. "Why is it so difficult? I don't think I'm asking you anything that you probably didn't already know the answer to. And if you like missionary, fine, I was just wondering why is all."
This. This was a shining example of why Jane had both enjoyed and employed denial for a good part of her adult life in nearly every respect. "Okay, fine," she mumbled through gritted teeth, now on edge. "I guess I liked missionary because nothing else seemed all that appealing. Being on top was...whatever, I guess, okay, but it involved touching and contact that as you already know, was not so much my thing, and doggie style felt subversive and just...not comfortable because I wasn't in control, and I guess those were like the three main flavors of sex for me. I wasn't really with anyone for long enough to get much past the basics."
Maura was quiet for a minute, processing but also smart enough to know when a moment of reverence was called for. "And what about that makes it a sore subject?"
"Because...I guess you're right even though I don't like it. Maybe it's not so much that I enjoyed missionary so much as I didn't enjoy anything else I tried that it's like the favorite by process of elimination. It makes me wonder what I've been missing, and why I couldn't just enjoy sex like everyone else."
"Jane." Maura's tone was gentle but not patronizingly so. "Did you ever think that this has to do with what we talked about last week?"
"What, like, that I was having sex with the wrong people? Or that, I don't know, maybe I'm like actually, completely, only into girls, and not into guys at all? You tell me."
"I don't think it's my place to tell you," Maura said slowly. "And I think that it's not fair nor necessary to have to label your sexuality at this point. And who knows? Maybe it's true that the guys you were with really didn't do much for you besides fill a basic need. Or maybe you weren't ever with the right guy to know differently."
Jane felt a little bit better. "I guess that applies to girls too. I could have been with other girls and been unfulfilled, but being with you is like...the most I think I could ever feel about anyone. Sexually or otherwise."
"It's really okay that you liked missionary," Maura offered as the tension dissipated a bit. "There's nothing wrong with it, and I wasn't judging. It just took me by surprise is all."
"I suppose it would," Jane's voice took on a teasing tone. "Since you seem to be the master of sex out of the two of us. Although I could have guessed that being on top is your thing."
"I wasn't exactly subtle about that, was I?"
Jane had to laugh. "Not in the slightest. I guess you're going to have to be the one to show me the ropes here."
Maura arched an eyebrow at Jane suggestively. "If I have to. But I have more I want to ask."
Jane groaned. "I can just make this easier on the both of us. First sexual experience; sophomore year, I hooked up with Marcus Booth at the movies. We made out and I let him touch my boobs and he was infinitely more thrilled about it than I was. First time having sex...18. Some guy I met at community college, it wasn't serious. Very quick, very vanilla, very teen movie. No problem with giving blow jobs, not that I really ever got much back in return."
"So...you've never had anyone go down on you?"
"I didn't say that. But, okay, it was a pretty rare occasion. Which was fine because I had a hard time relaxing enough to enjoy it."
"So...what did you enjoy?"
"Come again?"
"You're pretty nonchalant about intercourse and you never could enjoy oral. The most enthusiasm you've shared about anything was about having no problem with blow jobs. So what do you like? Where are your erogenous zones?"
"Maura. Do not speak science in this bed. I don't even know what that means."
Maura reached for Jane, frustrated but soft in her touch. How had this taken such a turn? She'd wanted to try to figure out what Jane liked, since Jane had been so doggedly focused on her in bed over the past week, and sometime this had morphed into something far more serious. Maura had always had her suspicions about Jane's sexual history, despite her outward swagger and easy confidence, but she'd never imagined that it was this complicated. "What I mean," she said easily, careful to keep her tone light. "And what I've been trying to say all night, is I just want to know what you like. What turns you on." Maura shifted on her side until she was pressed against Jane's body. She wished Jane would turn on her side toward her instead staring broodingly at the ceiling.
"You turn me on." Jane turned her head then to look Maura in the eye. "But of course you already know that."
Maura wrapped her arm around Jane's stomach, coaxing her to face her full on. "I do," she agreed. "And you've been quite attentive these last few nights, so I'm thinking that you probably know what turns me on, too. What I like. What gets me off"
"Besides the obvious?" Jane tried for a joke but hastily corrected when Maura raised her eyebrows in warning. "Okay, okay. You like lots of things. You like being on top. You like being held. You like how I touched you...there. And I'm sure you'll show me other ways of touching that you like."
Maura hid a small smile. "Of course. But go on."
"You...your nipples are sensitive and you like when I play with your breasts. And…"
"Use your mouth on them?"
"Yeah." Jane swallowed against the sudden arousal. "Did I forget anything?"
"Not really. Those are the major ones. Although I've also found that for me, my belly is also a particular erogenous zone. It's a lesser known one in general for people, but my lower belly and belly button are really sensitive so those are major turn ons."
"How did you learn all of this? Like, how are we both here and you have...all of this to go off and I can barely come up with one thing."
Maura leaned so close that her lips hovered teasingly above Jane's. "It doesn't matter," she whispered. "It doesn't matter how and when I learned it, just that I did, so that you and I can enjoy what I like together. And we're going to figure out what you like and what turns you on, so that we can enjoy that together too." She eased her lips to Jane's, kissing her softly at first and then fiercely, increasing the pressure and intensity until Jane gasped before her.
Maura rolled herself on top of Jane, pressing their bodies together so that every part of them touched. "You're going to tell me what feels good," she said between kisses. "So we can both learn."
Was it Jane's imagination or did even the slight command from Maura increase the heat between her legs? "Yes, ma'am,' she gasped, amazed at the breathy tone in her own voice. "But first we have to ditch these clothes."
They both stood then, removing their camisoles and panties until they were both standing before each other, laid bare in every sense of the word. Maura reached for Jane tenderly, pulling her down for another searing kiss and wrapping her in a reassuring embrace. She could feel the tension in Jane's body as she held her, but was relieved to feel some of it melt away the longer they stayed entwined.
Emboldened, Maura pressed forward. "Come on," she offered, taking Jane's hand and leading her back down onto their bed. She didn't often feel like the dominant one in their relationship, which was fine, and she knew even already that Jane had been striving for equal ground between the two of them. They'd existed too long in their friendship pre-relationship in certain roles; protector and protectee, enabler and denier, rescuer and the rescued, the initiator and the follower. Sometimes their roles switched, but more often than not, Jane did the leading and the rescuing and the protecting, the extending of a hand or a hug or gentle reassurance, and Maura went along with it, recognizing that Jane's personality often pushed her to seek the dominant position. Maura felt a buzz of anticipation that for once, and hopefully not for the last time, in this particular and not-insignificant thing, she would be the one leading Jane instead of the other way around.
She eased Jane back against the pillows and straddled her confidently. They soon resumed their previous position, lips locked, arms wrapped around each other, bodies pressed wholly and satisfyingly together. Maura eased back gently from Jane's lips and began a slow, tantalizing path down Jane's neck, lips lightly teasing as her teeth nipped at the sensitive flesh. She was rewarded by a surprised "Oh" followed by a strangled "God, Maura, please don't stop." So Maura pressed on, burrowing into the extra sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder and sweeping her tongue across her collarbone.
"Maura. Oh my god. Maura. More. More." Jane's pleas mingled with her name until Maura couldn't be sure what exactly Jane was exclaiming, only that her ministrations were doing exactly as she intended.
Jane gasped as Maura moved lower, her lips circling Jane's breasts and causing her to grab for the sheets beneath her. She moaned as Maura placed feather-light kisses closer and closer to her nipple before gently taking it into her mouth, flicking it teasingly with her tongue before sucking gently. Jane felt a pressure building between her legs that she wasn't prepared for. God, she had been missing out. All of the years with guys pawing at her chest and pinching at her nipples had left her jaded, sure that there was something about boob play that just wasn't for her. She'd endured it more for the satisfaction of the guys she'd been with while privately wondering about her own lack of enjoyment. Were her breasts too small? Did she have less sensitivity than most women? Jane had inadvertently brought her insecurities into her relationship with Maura, wrongly assuming that Maura's clear arousal around her breasts had something to do with either her more extensive experience and varied sexual palette or because she clearly had the bigger breasts of the two of them. But she was wrong, all wrong.
Jane's moans took on a frantic pitch as Maura turned her attention to her right breast, swirling her nipple in a similar fashion with her tongue while her other hand stroked and tickled Jane's left breast achingly. "Maur," Jane managed to say. "Maura, if you keep that up, I'm going to come right here."
Maura looked a bit triumphant as she pulled away and Jane instantly felt the loss of contact as the ache in her center throbbed painfully. "Maura," she whined, breathless and teetering on the edge. "Please, please." Maura complied by continuing her kisses down Jane's belly, stopping to curl her tongue around Jane's navel in slow, gentle licks, and then placing the lightest of kisses right above Jane's bikini line as Jane writhed above her. "Oh. Oh. Oh my god."
Jane couldn't focus on anything except Maura's motions between her legs. Gone were her insecurities of the past, her boredom as her dates had fumbled before her, her frustrated internal dialogue that just tried to hurry the whole thing along. Her thoughts slowly drifted to nothing but sensations...Maura gently holding her legs apart, her soothing kisses along her inner thigh, trailing toward her burning heat, and then, with a burst of pleasure that was unlike anything Jane had ever felt, Maura's lips on her center, teasing, prodding, sucking as all of the nerve endings in her body seemed to light at once. She was distantly aware of the sensation of Maura's fingers, also stroking and rubbing at her core with an increasing tempo, and the final sensation of Maura's tongue against her clit before it seemed as if literal colors exploded behind her eyes and the sensations tore through her body. Jane moaned continuously as the waves came, her orgasm rippling through her center and across her belly as nothing before ever had.
Eventually, she became aware of Maura easing back up her body and curling up on top of her, their bodies again pressed together. Jane realized she felt none of the embarrassment or self-consciousness or any of the emotions that she'd struggled with in the past and had worried over this time around. She opened her eyes to what to her seemed like the most beautiful sight in the world...Maura Isles, her blonde waves tossed about in a manner that screamed "sex", propped up against her chest, their breasts pressed softly together, and staring at her in a way that Jane could only describe as adoringly. "Maura," she breathed. She reached out to smooth her hair, stroke her cheek. "Oh my god. That felt so good. You...I don't even know what to say."
Maura smiled back, her eyes filled with love and lust and everything in between. "I know, honey," she said soothingly. "You don't have to say anything. I just know."
Jane couldn't help but marvel. "I didn't know. All of this time...I didn't know. I didn't know it could be like that. Is that...is that how it's always been for you?"
Maura lifted a hand to Jane's cheek for a moment before moving off of her chest and settling on Jane's side, wrapping her arms around Jane and sighing as Jane's arms came around her in return. "Not always," she said drowsily, already feeling sleep starting to overtake her. "Before I mean, not always. But it's always how I feel with you."
