A/N: Welcome to the official last chapter! This one, as promised, focuses a bit on past relationships. Lots to unpack there haha. I'm not quite ready to let go of this arc yet, so I'm planning an epilogue that will be a) lengthy and b) set significantly in the future. You will probably need to read An Inconvenient Truth for that to make sense and that's going to be less M for sex and more for overall adult themes. This fic writing thing is really quite addictive. Thanks for all of you who stuck with me on this journey. After the epilogue, I'm toying around with a post-Season 2 fic (something else that has been the background noise in my head for 10 years and is aching to be written). Enjoy!
Saturday, April 11, 2020:
Somehow, against all odds, it actually seemed to be warming up in Boston. It was a small thing to be grateful for, Maura thought to herself as she and Jane jogged side by side through the quiet city streets, but an important one. Sunny skies and nearly 50 degree temperatures meant that spring was finally making itself known weeks after its initial, official debut. And spring meant longer days and more sunlight and flowers and pretty clothes, all things that Maura hoped would ease the discomfort of their current reality.
Coronavirus, that is. COVID-19, as she called it, ever precise, ever the physician. Corona, as Jane had taken to calling it in a "I'm-trying-to-joke-but-this-is-forced" kind of a way, or simply Rona when she was cranky or agitated or unsettled. They were closing in on a month since Jane's homecoming which unfortunately also coincided with the entire world basically crumpling before them. And yet, here they were. The two of them, plus Angela, had somehow managed to navigate the new normal of three women in two homes with plenty of shared time and space, not to mention the usual give and take that came with a new relationship. A past Maura might have insisted that there wouldn't be a "new relationship" with Jane since they'd been friends, and arguably much more than that, for years, but current Maura knew better. She recognized that years of friendship and flirting and insinuation might have broken down some barriers and stacked up some history, and it certainly made sharing the same space easier and without too many adjustments. But the lack of romance and intimacy in their original relationship meant that there were deep waters to navigate and pasts to explore that neither of them had opened up to the other about, ever. So it had been an odd sort of adventure, old and new, familiar and exciting, broken-in friendship combined their newly minted sexual exploration, all interwoven to form this multifaceted...thing that was her and Jane. So, on this April Saturday, with the sun above them in the sky and green in the trees and Easter on the horizon and the love of her life setting the pace beside her, Maura Isles was well and truly happy.
They'd been muddling through somehow, once they had figured out that there was in fact muddling to do. At the beginning of things, Maura had assumed that their simmering sexual tension, paired with years of suppressed feelings and the anxiety of Jane's journey home, would simply explode into an outpouring of love and lust and desire and passion, expressed through sex and revealing the path to physical intimacy that clearly lay before them. Looking back, it seemed to Maura like she had naively thought of sex as a transport, some sort of vehicle to carry them from point A to point B, friends to lovers, past to present, then to now, without any sort of consideration as to the journey itself. It reminded her, with just a small bit of embarrassment, of a desperate teenager, not a child but not an adult, looking for sex to be the monumental event that caused her to wake up in a different body with a different mind, a different view, all things that would transport her into the world of adulthood. Maura was old enough and wise enough to know that nothing, not sex or even sex as monumental as hers and Jane's, had that sort of power. But she'd wished for it all the same.
It hadn't been the worse thing, Maura realized now as her heart pumped and she breathed in an easy, practiced rhythm, that she had freaked herself out and cajoled Jane into talking things out on that quiet morning a few weeks back. They'd needed practice with the talking and the openness and the emotional intimacy, something that neither of them would have admitted with the elephant in the room screaming about sex in the background of every conversation, every touch. But somehow, it was working. They were both talking and sharing, even when things took difficult turns, and their openness with words had seemed to be the catalyst for an openness in their new very intimate relationship that seemed to set them both on fire. Maura marveled over the twists and turns of things as they neared the agreed upon finish line of their morning jog. At some point, particularly in Paris and even when Jane had first arrived back home, the fire that existed in the space between them was smoldering, intoxicating but deadly, present but waiting to ignite them both. Somehow, that fire had evolved into something manageable, a spark that erased any of the space between them and bound them to each other in such a way that they could both bask in its warmth and take satisfaction from its passion without the risk of getting burned. Maura was convinced that it was their words, their truths, that had tamed the fire between them, transforming it from a hungry beast that would have given them quick gratification while it burned them alive to a gentle sort of burning that ignited all their best parts - their passion, their love, their attraction, their lust - while allowing everything else to stay thankfully intact.
"What are you thinking about," Jane's voice cut through her deep thoughts as they both slowed to a walk. She reached easily for Maura's hand, letting their fingers weave together, as they started on their slow meander home. Angela told them once that their runs made no sense; why would they not figure out a route that actually brought them back to Maura's house instead of miles away, forcing them to walk when they could already be home and showering? Jane had rolled her eyes at the time and explained that they often stopped for brunch or coffee on their way home, and only Maura was in a position to recognize it for the flimsy excuse that it was. Yes, they did often stop along the way, but sometimes they didn't, and they even found longer, off-the-beaten path ways of wandering home that increased their miles and extended the hours, neither of them minding in the slightest as they walked companionably side by side, talking about anything and everything as their heart rates slowed and their bodies cooled. They'd kept up their old patterns when Jane had returned home, but even their basic runs were now enhanced, the evidence of such swinging between them as their hands clasped gently.
Maura let herself drift close to Jane as they walked, their arms brushing together even as their hands stayed entwined. "Just everything," she answered honestly, fighting her knee jerk reaction to beg off with an easy "I don't know." "You, me, spring, Easter tomorrow, how nice it is that it's finally warming up and it's Saturday and we're just…"
"Doing our thing? I know what you mean." It was nice, Jane recognized, in the midst of so much change, even good change, to have consistencies to fall back on. Saturday morning runs with her best friend still felt the same, even though the woman beside her had now graduated from best friend to lover (girlfriend? partner? They hadn't discussed labels) and Jane now had a very detailed, very intimate knowledge of all of her most private parts. And some of her thoughts, to boot. There were moments for Jane when it still felt so surreal but in the best possible way.
"What are you thinking about," Maura countered, a teasing tone to her voice that eased the seriousness of the question. It was clear now that of the two of them, it was Jane who had held her truths so close that even she couldn't recognize them let alone speak them. And so they practiced.
"You." Jane didn't hesitate this time, casting a sly yet appraising look at the woman whose hand she held. She smiled a little triumphantly at Maura's eye roll. "Come on, you have got to know by now that you're like the main topic in my head. It's basically been like that since forever."
"If you were anyone else, I'd find that creepy."
"That's fair," Jane acknowledged. "And to be honest, I wasn't just thinking about you this time. I was actually thinking about you and Jack." She knew Maura well enough to look beyond the neutral expression on her face and the lack of change in her stride and noted the smallest change in pressure on her hand as Maura tightened her grip. There it is. "And something about that weirds you out."
Maura sighed. She had no one to blame for this but herself. They'd unpacked their sexuality and their sexual histories, something she had little problem with while Jane had struggled, so it was only fair that their past relationships would take center stage at some point. While Maura was curious to the point of being even a bit eager at finally being able to open the door on Casey, she couldn't muster the same enthusiasm about discussing Jack. "It doesn't weird me out," she said wearily. "It wouldn't be fair for me to expect you to open up about everything that you have lately and not give you the same in return. But I don't really like it, I have to say."
"But why?" Jane's question was reminiscent of that night in their bed weeks ago, Maura probing about Jane's preference for missionary while Jane lay frustrated beside her. Maura was not enjoying the reversal here, not one bit.
"I don't think I can even fully capture it all," Maura mumbled, aware that she was dodging and torn between hoping that Jane would give her a free pass and feeling ashamed that she'd even expect that of her. She caught Jane's side eye and could almost feel the apprehension pouring out of Jane's fingertips. Maura could read the insecurities in Jane as easily as if they were spoken aloud between them. Don't you trust me? How can you expect me to be open when now you aren't even trying? What happened with Jack that put you so on edge? "But I'll try," she added hastily. She spotted a small playground ahead and gestured to the lone picnic table. "We should sit."
Jane was thoroughly confused as Maura led her to the picnic table, not sure as to what can of worms she'd opened up. She thought that asking about Jack was the safest gateway into unpacking their past relationships, certainly easier than Ian or even Casey, but there was something in Maura's mannerisms, too subtle and far below the surface for her to even name, that was making Jane uneasy. She bit back her detective instincts and forced herself to follow Maura's lead, sitting across from her at the table and letting Maura take both of her hands in hers.
"It's hard for me to talk about Jack," Maura began, her eyes focused on their joined hands and not a bit on Jane's face. Jane's internal alarms were sounding, and something about that must have been apparent in her touch, because Maura suddenly relaxed her face and her grip and refocused.
"Jane, it's okay," she soothed, looking up at Jane and realizing how much she'd taken Maura's hesitancy to heart. "It's hard, but not impossible, and I'm okay. You have to remember...this is practice for me too. Neither of us are great examples of emotional expression."
Jane felt a bit relieved but also knew that she wouldn't be able to fully relax until it was all out. "I'm here," she said earnestly. "I'm listening."
Maura took a breath. "I guess what scares me the most about Jack is that he was the closest that I came to not being where I am right now. Here, with you." She saw confusion in Jane's face and pressed on, aware of the potential for pain to come out of this conversation. "What I mean is that I loved Jack. And I was devastated when he moved even though it was absolutely the right thing for him and the wrong thing for me."
"So Jack was the one that got away?" Jane tried hard to keep the hurt out of her voice. She hadn't expected this and now wasn't sure how much she could handle hearing.
"Yes...and no. It's complicated because there's not a straight answer here. I did, and do still to some extent, believe that if Jack hadn't moved, we would have been together for the long term. We had...talked a bit about getting married. Not enough for it to make a difference when Allie's mother was moving, but enough that it was out there and it felt like even more of a loss."
"You never told me." Jane's thoughts beat in an alternating pattern. Why didn't you tell me? Don't sound accusing. Why didn't you tell me? Don't sound accusing.
"I know," Maura met Jane's eyes, surprised to find that her own tears were mirrored on Jane's cheeks. "And I'm sorry for that. At the time, it was too painful to say aloud. To anyone. And I also knew that as much as I loved him and wanted to marry him, I didn't love him enough to follow him across the country, and if I had told anyone that I was giving up, I was afraid that someone would convince me to do it."
"Like you did with me and Casey." Jane's thoughts were racing but she knew she was right. It was all connected.
Maura bowed her head. "Yes," she whispered. "I know that you loved him and I wanted you to be happy, but after...everything, I wished that I had been more open with you. I remember at some point realizing that I was trying so hard to be your best friend and biggest supporter that I had pushed you into someone else's arms. And I didn't want someone to try to do that with Jack."
"But...you have to know by now that Casey wasn't right for me. And that I probably knew that and pushed on with it anyway, because he was away most of the time and I could make things out like they were one way when they actually were another when he wasn't here. I loved him but didn't love love him. Not like I love you. And not, apparently, like you loved Jack." Jane could hear the bitterness creeping into her words and felt equal parts guilty and vindictive.
"I'm not going to apologize for loving Jack," Maura said fiercely. "I can, and do, apologize for adding to whatever confusion or pressure you felt with Casey. And trust me, I paid dearly for that, because it caused me grief too. Not as much as it caused you, of course, and I'm not taking that away from you, but it affected me too. As for Jack, it's a hard truth for both of us to have to hear, but that's what it is. I loved him. He was the only one I even came close to loving and then fully loved while we were friends and dancing around each other. And it did confuse me then and still confuses me now. Although maybe confused isn't the right word...it's more that it scares me now, how close I came."
"How close you came to what?" Jane was tired, so tired.
"To marrying him." Maura felt her stomach roll a bit at the thought. "If he hadn't moved, I would have married him. And that's terrifying for me to think about because then I absolutely wouldn't be sitting here now, with you, in probably any sense of the word. It would have been the end of you and me in terms of what you and me were back then, and it definitely would have been the end of the potential for us to be who we are now. And even though I truly did love him and struggled when he moved and it clearly all happened in the way it was supposed to, it scares me so much to look back and realize how close I came to having a very different life."
"So...we should be grateful that Allie's mom got that new job, is what you mean?"
Maura felt like she could finally breathe a little. "Yes. That's a start. It's just...I mean, everyone has past relationships. I was basically a kid when I was with Garrett and Ian was certainly more serious but even when he showed up that time, he wasn't a threat to you. To us. I did love Ian and reconnecting with him was always meaningful but I knew we weren't ever going anywhere. But Jack...that was different. I tried to date and keep an open mind, but on some level I knew it was futile because I wanted you and I couldn't have you."
"But Jack wasn't a fling." Jane was starting to get it now, so much that she had stopped feeling sorry for herself but was aching for Maura instead. She had messed herself up with Casey, sure, and the pregnancy and the miscarriage had added to that exponentially, but even Jane could admit that she didn't love the guy enough to face heavy emotional fallout. But Maura had.
"No," Maura said, almost apologetically. "I wish that I could make it easier on you and tell you that he was. Or that I got over him quickly and it was out of sight, out of mind. But that wouldn't be fair to you or to us. I'm glad in every way that he ended up moving and that it opened the door, eventually, for you and me and all of this. But I hurt for a long time. And it didn't help that even though I loved him and would have married him, there was that little bit of fear underneath it all that committing fully to Jack would have meant officially closing the door on you and me."
"And you couldn't tell me about part of it without telling me the whole thing," Jane realized. "You loved him, but that scared you. You wanted to marry him, and that scared you too. And then it was over and you were sad and heartbroken but…"
"A little relieved and somewhat guilty and very confused," Maura finished. She smiled then, her cheeks still damp but her eyes slightly clearer. "I think you've got the picture there."
"Maura, I am so sorry. I mean, not that you didn't marry him, because that would have really sucked for us." Jane grinned as Maura laughed, then sobered as she pressed on. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you, and that I didn't know because I didn't look hard enough and try hard enough. I should also be sorry for everything I've said before...if I hadn't been such a coward and faced all of this with you, we both wouldn't have had so much heartbreak."
Maura's face turned thoughtful. "This isn't all your burden to bear, so you can't put this all on you. I was never open with you either, and we've hashed that out a lot lately. And maybe I needed to go through all of that with Jack. I hadn't had a successful relationship in such a long time and most of my dates turned out…"
"To be sociopaths?" Jane stuck her tongue out as Maura wrinkled her nose, both knowing that Jane was right.
"I was going to say complete disasters," Maura said in a dignified tone that made Jane smirk and caused Maura to swallow a smile. "But fine. What I was saying, though, is that Jack helped me to see that I could be normal and attract normal people and have a completely functioning, fully adult, healthy relationship. And that even his daughter seemed to think I was normal and fun and cool, all things that I didn't think I could be."
"Well, you are the coolest person I know." Jane squeezed Maura's hands. "That girl adored you. She was happy to have you in her life, as any kid would be."
"Sometimes I'm sad about that too. I mean, I can recognize that Jack and I didn't work out, and the sadness about not getting the chance to be his wife faded over time. But the sadness about not getting to be Allie's stepmother...that almost took more time for me to let go of." Maura met Jane's eyes. "I never expected to be saying that. I used to think kids would find me as confusing as I usually find them."
Jane held Maura's gaze, determined not to look away. "Maybe that's another good reason why this all had to happen. You had to learn that you could be good - amazing - in relationships and that you were worthy of the love of a good, healthy person. And that you could be a good mother, a great mother even, if you had to. Or wanted to." She eased off the bench, disengaging their hands, before reaching back for Maura as she did the same.
"Stepmother," Maura corrected as they started to amble on again hand in hand.
"Well, Doctor Isles," Jane said lightly, ignoring the pounding in her heart. "Since it looks like stepmother is off the table, maybe we could apply those excellent takeaways elsewhere." This time, Maura's increased grip on her hand was pronounced, and was followed by a shy glance that Jane met with an easy smile. That part could keep. No need to delve into that right now.
-R-I-
They ambled home as a calm peace grew steadily between them. Maura could feel the heaviness in her chest easing with every step, so much so that she expected to see little drops and puddles on the sidewalk behind them, as if the storm cloud over her had finally burst and brought the expected relief. She'd kept few secrets from Jane besides the most important, significant one between them, and finally having the space to free herself of the burden of Jack had been difficult but freeing. She also realized now how Jane must have felt as they'd stumbled through their conversation on Jane's sexual history, and she tucked herself into Jane's side, wrapping her arm around her waist as they came to the final block before home, hoping that her touch could convey the empathy she felt inside. Jane simply wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulders, the two of them staring down at their now-joined shadow, each noting the symbolism before them.
The rest of the day passed easily, with Jane and Maura each finding tasks around the house to busy themselves with, content in being near each other but not having to be constantly attached at the hip. They ate an early dinner with Angela, chatting lightly over their Chinese take out about the low key holiday they'd have the next day as the reality of the current world set in a bit around them. It was hard to enjoy Easter without a kid, Jane realized as they ate, feeling sad that they would miss a year of Egg Hunts and Easter baskets and cute little Easter suits with TJ. But when she thought about how her Easter could have been - alone in Washington DC and miserable, intent on convincing herself that she didn't love her best friend - all she had to do was look at Maura across from her, neatly eating her chicken and broccoli and playing a gentle game of footsie with her beneath the table, to remember how lucky she really was. Jane had never realized how close she'd come to losing Maura to Jack and now that it was out in the open, she could see what Maura meant. The thought of what could have been was terrifying and it was only made better by the reassurance of what actually was, that Maura, sweet, outrageously smart and accomplished, beautiful, kind, compassionate, incredibly sexy, adorably weird Maura, was sitting in front of her, entirely, completely hers.
Jane's good mood was a buoy through the rest of the evening, made even longer by Angela's obvious cabin fever and her pleas with the girls to watch "a normal movie, for once." Jane swallowed her complaints, realizing that there was not a single game on that she could use as an excuse for bowing out, and settled on the couch with her partner (Girlfriend? Lover? They really had to work this out) and her mother to suffer through You've Got Mail. To her surprise, and clearly to her mother's and Maura's, she found herself actually following along, noting how Maura scooted closer and closer as the plot developed.
Her mother had seemed amused as the final reveal came along and both Jane and Maura were completely silent beside her, aware that they were curled up with their arms around each other, matching tears glistening on their cheeks. "Looks like my work here is done," she had quipped, standing up and making her way to the door as Jane rolled her eyes. "Easter brunch, 11am sharp. You girls better not sleep in too late." She winked, causing both women to blush and avert their eyes, and let the door slam behind her.
Maura untangled herself from Jane and stood, holding her hand out to pull Jane up beside her. "You heard your mother," she urged gently. "Time for bed, detective."
-R-I-
"You sure you're feeling okay about today," Jane asked as they took up their normal positions in bed. She twirled Maura's soft waves around her fingers before letting her fingertips trail up and down Maura's face.
"I'm fine," Maura reassured. "Really, I am. I feel sort of laid bare, but that's not so bad. It means that there's less and less between us now."
"No more shadows," Jane agreed. "Not on my end, anyway. Unless you have anything else you want to know."
Maura pursed her lips teasingly, kissing Jane's fingers gently as they stroked over her. "I think we've covered quite a lot."
"You're still a little bit too covered for my taste, if we're being honest." Jane laughed as Maura rolled on top of her at that, giggling herself, as they started to pull clothes off each other in a now-practiced rhythm.
"That was truly terrible. But I have to say, your sense of humor? Definitely one of the first things I always loved about you. A bit of a turn on, even."
"Not my brilliant mind and stunning physique? Oh, wait, that's you." Jane's voice hitched as Maura let her tongue dance across her collarbone.
"Oh stop. I thought you were breathtaking the first time I saw you. Your long legs and your wild hair and soft eyes…"
"I don't think they were so soft the first time we met. But, whatever, details. I think the first thing I noticed about you were your…"
"Jane!" Maura laughed then gasped as Jane's hands found her breasts, her fingers stroking and circling and gently pulling. Maura moaned as her nipples tingled and her core tightened with anticipation. She'd never get tired of this, not ever. She'd replayed that night in Paris so often in her mind, the two of them in bed just like this, lips smashed together as Jane had held her bare breasts and softly stroked her nipples and stared at her in adoring wonder. For so long Maura thought that was all they'd ever have.
"I'm not kidding." Jane's voice was breathless between kisses. "Your breasts, your little waist, your curvy hips in all of those straight dresses. I couldn't take my eyes off you. And you wonder why I was touching you all the time?"
"Why do you think I was touching you back?" Maura rolled them, pulling Jane's arms up over her head so that Jane was pinning her to the mattress. "Do you know how many times I laid in this bed, replaying all of the times you touched me and wishing you'd touch me…"
"Like this?" Jane's mouth trailed from Maura's lips to her neck to her breasts. She kissed gently at the skin above Maura's heart, the vibrations from Maura's moans tickling her tongue. Jane felt the moans intensify as she took Maura's breast in her mouth, swirling her nipple, sucking gently, as Maura bucked beneath her. She heard the gentle cadence of Maura's voice that seemed to match the fluttering of her heart. Oh Jane. Oh Jane. Oh Jane.
Jane felt Maura's grip on her shoulders tighten as she continued her ministrations on Maura's breasts, easing her pace to achingly slow and knowing that Maura's orgasm was building beneath her. She started to move lower only when Maura began to jerk more frantically beneath her, her moans increasing in tempo as Jane trailed her kissed down her belly, remembering Maura's words from weeks before and letting her tongue swirl seductively around her belly button, tasting, nibbling softly as Maura's hands ran through her hair, nails raking arousingly against her scalp. Jane planted the lightest of kisses across Maura's lower belly, stroking her fingertips across Maura's softest skin and feeling the little jerks beneath her touch as Maura's moans and little giggles intermingled. Jane let her head rest on Maura's tummy for just a moment, amazed again at the miracle of it all. There was a time when she would have been grateful to be in the same house as Maura, most recently in the same state, let alone sharing a bed, let alone intimately entwined, her cheek against Maura's bare skin as her chest heaved intoxicatingly above Jane and as Maura's heat just below her beckoned her on.
So Jane moved lower as Maura eased her legs apart, welcoming Jane in and gasping as Jane tickled across her inner thighs before gripping them firmly but gently. Maura bucked uncontrollably as Jane's tongue swept across her entrance, teasing, soothing, testing. The moans rolled steadily from her throat, exploding from behind her teeth and filling the room around them as Maura forced her eyes open. The sight of Jane Rizzoli, nude and bent between her legs, kissing and tasting as she circled her clit and let her tongue fill her, bringing her closer and closer to the edge as, was enough to nearly push her over. "Jane," she moaned as the waves came faster. She could feel the heat between her legs building to an almost uncomfortable crescendo. "Oh, Jane, I'm going to come. I'm going to come." Maura couldn't hear Jane's reply, muffled between her legs and deep within her heat, as her orgasm crashed around her. All she could focus on was the thrilling sensation of the waves cresting through her core, radiating in her belly and warming her from the inside out. She was dimly aware of Jane easing back up her body and laying her head between her breasts, kissing soothingly as Maura came back down from her high.
"Oh baby," Maura breathed, her hands finding Jane's cheeks. "Why the hell did it ever take us so long to get here?" She giggled as Jane pressed her smile into her cleavage. "God, I love you. Do you even know just how much I love you?"
Jane let herself fall to Maura's side, cuddling close as Maura remained on her back, her palms rubbing patterns against Maura's tummy. "I think I have some idea," she whispered against Maura's cheek. "But maybe you could show me anyway?"
Maura's cheeks curled into a smile beneath Jane's lips. "I'd like nothing more." She eased herself up until she was propped against the headboard, ignoring the look of confusion on Jane's face. "Come here," she urged, tugging Jane from her side until she was in front of her, knees on either side of Maura's legs. "Keep coming."
"Haha," Jane quipped, trying for a break in the mood as she let Maura rearrange them, not sure what Maura was going for.
"You need to relax," Maura whispered soothingly, easing Jane so that she was straddling Maura completely, their centers nearly pressed together. She wrapped her arms around Jane's waist, smiling when Jane's arms came around her neck. "I want to hold you. Can you just let me hold you?"
"I can do that," Jane matched Maura's tone, pushing herself closer to Maura until their bodies were almost completely entwined. They kissed easily for a while as Maura's body cooled and Jane's slowly heated up. "No one's ever held me like this before," she murmured as Maura's lips trailed lower. She tightened her grip on Maura as the impact of her words hit both of them. "I've never let anyone hold me like this before."
"Maybe you never wanted to." Maura's teeth teased her neck and Jane was torn between arousal and the knowledge, from a faraway place, that Easter would surely be spent in a high-neck blouse. "Maybe you never trusted anyone else enough."
"I trust you," Jane breathed. "I trust you with my life, with all of the lives. With everything. I trust you. I need you, I love you." She might have continued then, letting the intoxicating haze of Maura continue to loosen her tongue so that she could spill all of her truths, had Maura not turned her attention to Jane's own breasts. Jane sighed and gasped, letting a soft string of expletives loose before them, as Maura's finger and then her lips tasted and plucked, stroked and soothed, across her modest breasts and aching nipples.
Jane buried her face in Maura's shoulder as Maura's hands trailed lower, her fingers dancing slowly through dark curls before easing inside of her. She gasped as she felt Maura add one finger, then two, moaning as they stroked deep inside of her, circling, teasing.
"Jane." Maura's voice was soft but firm, coaxing Jane from her spot buried in Maura's shoulder and forcing her to sit up and look Maura fully in her eyes. She watched as the expressions crossed Maura's face as she stroked inside of her - arousal and lust mingling with love and adoration- and followed Maura's eyes as they drifted down to the space between them, watching Maura's hands at the place that they both were joined. It seemed to Jane like the most arousing thing to have ever happened to her own body.
"Let go," Maura urged, prompting Jane to look away from her center and back to Maura's clear, pretty eyes. Had she ever noticed before how beautiful Maura's eyes actually were? She could feel her orgasm building, but almost from a great distance, so lost Jane was in Maura's eyes.
"Jane," Maura's voice brought her back from her reverie. "Come for me, just let go." She increased her rhythm between Jane's legs, conscious of the intensity in Jane's eyes and the heavy sense of meaning hanging between them. "Trust me."
And at that, coincidence or not, Jane found herself coming, unraveling as Maura's fingers eased up between her and let her orgasm spread through her. She leaned forward to grab Maura in a searing kiss, moaning against Maura's lips as she felt the heat spread through her body and the tingles dance across her center. Jane let Maura ease them back down into bed. She stayed still as Maura shifted, grabbing the tops to their discarded pajamas and tossing Jane hers as she pulled her own back on quickly. Jane quickly did the same before settling onto her side, pulling Maura back into her arms.
"Why is that even after you orgasm, you always end up holding me?" Maura's voice was sleepy now and Jane knew they were close to sleep.
"Don't you know by now, Maura," Jane's teasing came out much more lazily than she had anticipated. God, she was tired, but in the best possible way.
Maura had just enough left to ease back from Jane to look up at her quizzically. "Know what?"
"Everything. All of my truths, all of yours. They're all out there now. Big, small, and everything in between." Jane stroked Maura's arms before letting her own wrap around Maura's waist, sighing as Maura's head settled back against her chest.
"Okay. But what does that have to do with you holding me?"
"Because," Jane said into soft hair, lips hovering above Maura's forehead. "The truth is that all I ever wanted was just be able to hold you. Everything else is just a bonus. Especially since I never thought I'd even get to do that."
"Jane," Maura hugged her tighter. "I love you more than anything."
"I know that. And I love you too, with every part of me."
Their truths had mingled, Jane realized distantly as they both drifted off to a peaceful sleep. Somehow, somewhere, everything they had carried and bore and even suffered through had served to only further cement them together. Their truths had dovetailed, spun them into something new and wonderful. And now they could start to figure out where or what that was going to bring them next. Together.
