Chapter 4


Kumiko


"Shizuko, my sweet, where are you?" I asked as I opened the door, unclasping my cloak and slipped off my sandals. Just as I set it down I spotted a flash of blonde.

"Mom!" She collided into me, her little arms unable to wrap around my hips.

I picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "Hello, sweet. How have you been?"

"I missed you!"

"I missed you too," I set her down on the ground. She quickly grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the living room. Sachiko must be there, reading or listening to music, "Did you behave for Baba?"

"She did," Sachiko smiled as we entered the room. Shizuko let go of my hand to run to her, curling up next to her on the couch, "You're back early."

"Yeah, Captain Zaraki let me leave early," I flopped down on the couch across from them, taking a cup of tea offered to me by one of the maids, "Sometimes I think he just has me there for show. That and keeping his bloody brutes in order."

"That Squad has always been rough, but I fear that it's become dangerous for you now," My mother murmured.

I shook my head, "Don't worry. They're nothing I can't handle. Besides, Ikkaku and Yumichika aren't far from my side." She remained quiet and I sighed, setting my cup down, "I'm not leaving."

"Why not? We're a noble family! The Kuchiki's would protect you—and they never wanted you going into it in the first place—"

"To marry Haku," I chuckled, "I highly doubt that offer is still valid—"

"Papa?" Shizuko spoke and Sachiko and I both froze. She looked at me with wide, bright eyes, "Haku—"

"No!" I said sharply. She shrank away from me and I stood up abruptly, "Haku is not—"

My mind raced and all I could think about was him and his wife gushing over their newborn. How jealous I had been when I first discovered this. I had moved on from it—from him—but now I couldn't help but be bitter at the irony that plagued my life. Haku was not her father but I wish he had been.

I wish I had never met her father.

"Kumiko," My mother hissed.

Shizuko's eyes were misty and I looked away. She looked so much like him and it broke my heart. I held out my hand and she sprinted towards me, crashing into my legs and hugging me tightly.

"I'm sorry, Mom," She sniffed, "I didn—"

"Shizuko, don't apologize," She looked up at me and she looked…scared. I touched the top of her head, "I shouldn't have gotten angry. I'm sorry…we'll talk about your father. Later. I promise."

She nodded and I sent her off. Sachiko was trying to hide her shock and I sat down across from her. I took a sip of my tea and tried to reign in my tumultuous heart. It wasn't her fault that she asked silly questions about her father—not when I hadn't told her anything about him.

"You can stop looking at me like I grew a third fucking head," I mumbled, staring at the tea and wishing it was something a little stronger.

"I wasn't aware you had one already, let alone two or three," She ignored my glare, "Are you ready to talk to her about him?"

"No…but she needs to know," I wouldn't tell her everything, only enough to sate her curiosity.

"What are you going to say that you're allowed to."

I pulled at my hair and let out a frustrated sigh, "I have no idea. I knew that she would eventually wonder why everyone else has a father and she doesn't…but I wasn't ever sure how I could tell her."

We were silent, contemplating over the lie we had to craft because Kisuke was too much of a fuck up to make anything in my life simple. Even after being out of my life for ten years, he was still wreaking havoc.

"You could always tell her that it's Haku."

"No," I said sharply, slamming my cup down in disgust. I couldn't tell that lie. I would be perverting the memory of him.

"Ginrei and I were discussing this, Kumiko. He suggested it and I don't think it's a terrible idea. You two were engaged and there's always a way to alter the dates—"

"So I had a child who is ten now, over twenty years ago," I shook my head, "No, I don't think so. I just have to be vague."

"It won't be enough for her," Sachiko warned, "She's too curious."

"Only because I allow her to be," I murmured. Shizuko already knew that her father was a touchy subject, so perhaps over time she would accept that there were some things about him that she wouldn't know. "I refuse to lie to her about him altogether. Besides, she'll take one look at a photo of Haku and I and know immediately that she isn't his. They look nothing alike."

"Do you have any photos of Kisuke?"

I did, though I wasn't sure if they were something I should show her. I didn't want her to find out that her father was an exiled Shinigami, and an accused murderer. I would rather her be unsure about her father than be unsure about herself.

She was curled up in bed when I came upstairs to talk to her. Her hair was curly and halfway down her back now. As she had grown older, it became clear that her eyes were slightly different colors of blue, like mine. Still, although she looked much like me, she still looked a lot more like Kisuke. The fact that Ginrei and Sachiko thought they could trick her into thinking she was Haku's was an insult to her intelligence.

"Sweetheart," I started as I threw myself onto her bed. She sat up and I smiled, "Look, I know that he's someone you want to know all about…but there's some things I can't tell you."

She didn't say anything for a moment before whispering, "Is he dead?"

The thought alone made my heart stop. A life without Kisuke in it was hard enough, but the thought of him not existing in it anymore was unbearably painful.

"No, he's not dead," I whispered, "He's just very far away. And I'm afraid he's not coming back."

"Why don't you go to see him?"

"I'm not allowed to. We're not allowed to," I answered, "You see, Shizuko, your father was a very important man. And he's needed elsewhere now, helping the Seireitei. So that's why he isn't with us."

I knew about Kisuke working with the Development Department to help progress their research. It was good to know that he was alive and clearly doing well…but I couldn't help but ask why he hadn't made contact with me. He was smart enough to get a message through to me.

"What does he look like?" Those grey eyes stared back at me, and I could see the wheels turning in her head as she processed everything I said.

"You," I ran my hands through her hair and grinned, "Are the spitting image of him, sweetheart. He had short, blond hair—and these grey eyes that saw everything."

Her grin melted my heart, "I can't see everything, Mom, that would mean that I had x-ray vision."

Her father sure did. There was rarely a situation he couldn't see around or through.

"What's his name?"

She had moved to snuggle up into me. I wrapped my arm over her shoulder, "Dad."

I laughed at the unimpressed look she gave me. I couldn't help but smile as I talked about him. Butterflies still fluttered inside me whenever I thought about him. He was a stupid man but I still loved him. It didn't matter what he did or would do to me—I was perfectly and foolishly in love with him.

"Kisuke. His name is Kisuke."


Shizuko is showing a bit more interest than Kumiko wants! Wonder if that will cause some problems *scratches head*

Up next: Commemorating a rather depressing anniversary. Kumiko hits a low. Shizuko does a bit of snooping.

See you in two weeks!