The Provisional Laws of Acquired Behavior or Learning

Authors Note: I'm experimenting with writing styles as I'm still trying to find a balance between speech, description and thoughts, I'm also finally updating my Deviantart of the same name and will be posting some art in the next few days… Please be merciful.

Disclaimer: I don't at this time own any published work of Sega or JK Rowling, if I did I'd gut the current Sonic fandom and only allow literate people to contribute cutting the fandom back by 90% and improving the quality by the same percentage.

March 1st 1992, The Rookery, Ottery St Catchpole, Devon
"Daddy, do you think if I went to Hogwarts I could make a friend?" Airily spoken with cheer Xenophilius Lovegood, call me Xeno, nevertheless felt his daughter's innocent question fall like a hammer blow on his heart, causing it to skip a beat.
His response to his daughter Luna's question as her hopeful pale blue almost silvery eyes peered into his soul based on his own knowledge was less than truthful "I believe you can do whatever you want" that white lie had felt like gargling acid. Xeno vividly remembered his own time at school, not just Hogwarts, of the bullying he himself received for his fascination with undiscovered magical creatures and similar concepts. Lying to his daughter who was so much like himself and thus likely to receive the same mistreatment and misunderstanding was unforgivable and Xeno did not relish seeing his trusting daughter lose her faith in her father.
Now, the result of that reluctance to succumb to the inevitable stared at him from the large crate of unusual semi-sentient objects that he'd purchased at the Auror Auction. And yes he had questioned why the name had stayed the same when Witch Queen Bones had changed everything else. The Auror Auction was a place where goods seized by the law were sold, Not many people attended these events as the items on display which, though thoroughly checked were oftentimes a bit strange, the customer could end up purchasing some very hinky objects with more purposes than advertised most times to the non-fatal detriment of the customer, even so, these auctions were expensive.
Wearing a specially made set Spectrespecs as glasses to the auction had made people underestimate him and encouraged the auction-goers not to bid on what Xeno bid on as well as find exactly what he was looking for.
Xeno would never directly tell anyone of the quite illegal abilities the glasses held, X-ray abilities being the very least of its abilities, The glasses when correctly activated highlighted specific types of magic, unraveling the codes and crosswords in his newspaper the Quibbler allowed the user to unlock more and more functions.
The spells that had gone into the glasses had been invented by his wife the previous year on Valentine's Day. However, his dear beloved had erroneously performed the spells directly on her self instead of using a medium, thinking it was safe.
The sensory feedback of so many additional senses introduced at once had overloaded her nervous system and brain causing a horrific series of seizures and eventual aneurysm as her brain was boiled in her skull from the magic superheating her blood where the enchantments had been cast.
Xeno had been in the kitchen at the time and come running to the laboratory at the sound of his wife and daughter screaming, one in pain, one in terror. He'd been helpless to reverse the spell as it could only be reversed by the caster and his beloved had been in no fit state to do anything. So his beloved wife had died mere moments after he'd arrived blood running from her eyes leaving a traumatized daughter and grieving husband behind.
She had always referred to the spell as her crowning achievement and masterwork, next to Luna of course and so Xeno had decided to honor her probable wishes by creating the enchanted Spectrespecs.
Using the dotty looking joke glasses, the original set he'd cast the spell on, Xeno had wandered the stacks of items at the auction and picked anything that met the requirements, six enchanted mirrors, sixteen remembrall's, five small portraits, a set of linked communication mirrors and linked journals, one very unusual book that gave of strange mental magic readings that bore investigation and a very large pensieve.
The myriad of items had attracted some unusual looks when Xeno had purchased them but he'd merely distracted them with a nonsensical statement about a made-up magical creature getting more and more fantastical in the description until the curious people made up an excuse to leave. Unraveling the spells on all of the magical items had been rather hard, replicating the enchantments just as hard.
One item, in particular, defied analysis at almost every turn, the unusual book had been part of the auction of items salvaged from the ruins of Malfoy Manor, it now sat on his desk merrily defying all attempts to identify its nature.
Appearing to be a blank leather-bound journal its unusual enchantments had stymied Xeno's investigation. The fact that it was from the Malfoy Family made him suspect the diary was something nefarious. Scrolling through the enchantments on the Spectrespecs for a few more minutes he finally gained a clue as to the books true nature. The Book which Xeno had begun to capitalize in his mind had so many binding spells on it that it must be a prison! The misty mental magic within actually some unfortunate magical the Malfoy's had imprisoned! The mental magic trapped in there even registered as underage which was par for the course when the Malfoy's had been steeped in evil acts for hundreds of years. Calling his daughter through Xeno debated with her on what to do with the book, her answer wholly expected of a daughter of Lovegood "Daddy that sounds horrible, we're going to free them aren't we?" her pale eyes gleamed with the determination usually found when chasing that perfect shot of a mythical beast for their newspaper on one of their annual trips, the determination that some might call bullheadedness of course the answer was obvious.
"And we can't tell the Ministry" decided Luna with the air of someone making a terrible realization.
"Why ever not?" asked Xeno curiously agreeable but wanting to hear her reasoning.
Luna's expression went dark with worry "Daddy! What if the Rotfang Conspiracy find out! It could be eaten by a Heliopath! You know the Ministry is still breeding them, They're man-eating fire spirits and this one is both Being and Book, it'd be like serving Dirigible Plum and Gulping Plimpy on the same plate with Gurdy Root Sauce to a Crumple-Horned Snorkack!"
Xeno and Luna shuddered in unison at the terrible though.
Xeno nodded weakly resolve building "Then together we must endeavor to save life and limb of poor unfortunate lad or ladette ourselves from the evils of literacy!"
Luna's eyes shone "Really Daddy? You mean it?" at his nod Luna raced upstairs "I'll go get the Nargle Dust!"
"And I'll get aquavirius maggot slime from the pond!" called back Xeno heading for the closet to get an indestructible fishing net.
Turning to the book unsure for a moment if the prisoner within could hear him Xeno spoke in a reassuring voice nevertheless. "Never fear child, you'll be free before you know it. Mayhap you could be my daughters new friend even." The book didn't reply light merely reflecting off the golden word on the book's spine a single word visible thanks to what looked like fire damage obscuring the rest, a single word that well described the nature of the strange book prison, that of a 'Riddle'.

8:00pm, Hogwarts Hospital Wing
Waking up in the hospital wing was a harrowing affair concluded Ron Weasley, for one the entire experience was jarring, secondly even after however long he'd been asleep Ron was still utterly exhausted and more than a bit confused.
Spotting a flash of red in took him a second to identify what he was seeing, "Fred? George"
Both brothers looked pale and drawn sat on the visitor seats, Ron's archery set and clothes arranged on the side table "What happened? Why am I in the hospital wing?" He'd only been here before a few times mostly for a pepper-up potion as the Scottish cold made him sniffle mostly.
"We were hoping you could tell us" spoke George calmly, danger in his eyes.
"What's the last thing you remember?" asked Fred also calmly and Ron felt the hair on the back of his neck rise in unease at his brother's strange behavior. Casting his mind back Ron tried to remember what he'd been doing last, speaking hesitantly in recollection "I was going down the stairs after Fred caught the snitch and I think… Did I get hit on the back of my head? Everything after that's a blank until I woke up just now."
George let out a frustrated sigh "Are you sure you didn't see anyone? Anything?"
Ron shook his head wincing at the movement bringing a hand up to his head he blinked for a moment as something unusual caught his gaze making his eyes go wide in shock. "What the-?" Strands of sea-green hair, his formerly Weasley red hair. "It's permanent" Spoke Fred apologetically handing Ron the mirror on the bedside table "Whoever attacked you hexed you to heck and back, by the time Pomfrey managed to get rid of the hexes and heal you it was impossible to remove, conflicting magic and all that" Fred really did look like he wanted to hit something or someone, hard.
"And if we had a name we'd know who to hospitalize in-kind" explained George bluntly.
"Was it really that bad?" spoke Ron absently as he stared at his hair color with the mirror trying to reconcile the hair color with himself and avoid a panic attack.
"It's the 1st of March you've been unconscious since the Quidditch match" explained Fred tiredly. There wasn't really much to say to that, magical healing was usually quick and efficient, that it had taken so long was somewhat scary and getting off with just an unwanted hair coloring was lucky. "Happy Birthday" Ron grumbled to himself with a yawn "Go to sleep, we can celebrate tomorrow. Right now you look exhausted" Ron was too tired to argue with Fred as the Hogwarts mediwitch who had evidently been listening bustled in and shooed off the twins like a whirlwind before also telling him to go to sleep. Still, as he drifted off to sleep Ron wondered who would do this and immediately thought of the obvious suspects, his dormmates…

2nd March, 3:00am, Underground Caverns
Lying innocuously on the ground of the underground tunnel, one of many failed attempts to lay siege to Hogwarts during one of the many Goblin rebellions, a magical plant carefully transplanted from pot to the magically rich dry earth several days ago continued to spread its thorny silvery vines along the floor of the cavern, the residents of the castle and grounds above none the wiser. Now as the seconds passed the vines seemed to react to an invisible signal becoming larger reaching blindly in the darkness, piercing the earth above them with one direction in mind, directly up.

6:00am, Hogwarts Lawn
"I still can't fathom how you messed up so badly, Neon! I said! Neon green! Not whatever aqua rubbish you managed!" Hissed Gregory Goyle to the panting Vincent Crabbe who was lugging the battered trunk across the lawn to the Black Lake protested "Oh come on! The magic was all screwy you can't blame me for that! Why are we even doing this anyway?"
Gregory sighed "We want Weasley gone right?"
Vincent nodded as Gregory explained not for the first time "We need to make him go away by himself so we don't get incriminated, so we make him as unwelcome as possible until he goes running home and doesn't come back"
"How you going to make him not come back, Greg?"
Gregory sighed in agitation at Vincent's clueless look "The letter to your dad remember? Please tell me you sent it?"
Vincent thought back, Right the letter to his father telling him about Weasley's potion mistake and his home address with a side suggestion of murder and arson..
"I forgot to write it" Vincent admitted with a wince.
"This is why I'm the smart one and you're the idiot" hissed Gregory in aggravation eyes fixed ahead at the lake "I don't know why I hang around with someone as useless as you!"
There was a crack like thunder and a yelp as the ground began to shake, Gregory held still turning around to look and felt his heart drop. Where Vincent had once stood with Weasley's stolen trunk there was a massive crevice as if the earth itself had cracked open, massive silvery metallic vines were growing, reaching for the sky like some demented herbology project gone wrong. Further away Gregory watched as the vines crept up along the castles walls thickening and casually cracking the stone where it could not find a window. All thoughts of Vincent likely fate between the fall down the crevice and the crushing vines with razor-sharp thorns vanished as Gregory began to run away from the castle, very fast.

6:05am, Hogwarts Hospital Wing
It was the scratching that awoke him, at first he thought it was a small animal but as his eyes adjusted to being awake he spotted Madam Pomfrey waving frantically trying to get his attention. It wasn't the wisest thing he could have done reaching for his bow and arrows and quietly lining up a shot with one of the grasping vines. Though luckily pinning the vine to a portrait frame before it could obstruct the way to Pomfrey's office surprisingly didn't make it go into a murder frenzy. Following the witch quietly with the other patients into her office Pomfrey faced the door. "I can help guard the entrance if you want" Ron found himself saying quietly. Pomfrey let out a shaky breath "Those vines seek out active wand magic from what I can tell, I tried to repel them from the outer door and they just followed me right in the second I cast anything, they don't seem to react to your arrows"
"So what now?" Ron wondered why he was being so calm about the situation and chalked it up to some sort of calming potion or spell Pomfrey had dosed him with.
"Help me barricade the doors" There was no need to speak of any other students finding their way into the infirmary the gargantuan thorns had blocked the doors completely, light streaming in from small cracks in the vines curled around the broken windows. Yeah, he'd definitely been dosed with something.

6:06am, Hogsmeade Village, Bluewind House
Maurice yelped as the ground seemed to quake beneath his feet steadying the large cauldron of Wit-Sharpening potion carefully with his gloved hands thankful that he'd bottled the last of the potion for the week already "What was that?" Miles knocked frantically on the door to the laboratory and opened it speaking a mile a minute "Mauricethecastleiscoveredinthorns!"
Running to the living room Maurice looked out the window and swore in his mind, turning to Miles Maurice gripped his shoulders and made sure he had his attention "Miles floo to Susan's home okay? I need you to tell Amelia Bones what is happening and then I need you to stay there" Miles looked unsure "Promise me!" Maurice repeated "Ok, But what about you?" murmured Miles "I'm going to find out what's happening and make sure our friends are ok"
"But you might get hurt!" Miles looked like he was about to start shaking so Maurice pulled him into a quick tight hug meeting him at eye level doing his best to sound reassuring.
"I'm too fast to be injured by a overgrown weed" Maurice winked with confidence he didn't feel.
Miles vanished into green flames of the Floo Network safe thousands of miles away from danger, taking a steadying inhale Maurice sped out the door ignoring the baffled crowd just forming on the street of Hogsmeade as he made a beeline for the castle, a sonic boom causing more than one resident to jump as he flitted past.

Unknown area, Hogwarts
Lee Jordan lay splayed on the cracked glass floor of the area he had fallen into, initially unworried by the shaking of the castle, that had quickly changed when the floor beneath him had collapsed beneath him sending him down into the dark. He'd been unconscious for approximately three minutes or possibly just dazed from the fall. The place he'd fallen into was illuminated by the light shining from below the colored glass tiles, the room itself seemed to have no walls leaving a errie effect as the distance faded into a dark mist.
This place with its stained glass floor and lack of walls was fundamentally terrifying in a way Lee could not even begin to describe, despite his misgivings Lee walked further into the darkness searching for an exit.

Hogwarts Lawn
Maurice winced as he circled the castle, the great thorny vines had cracked open great big crevices in the grassy ground that even now were still rising up and curling around the castle like some demented ivy. He gave the cracks in the once pristine Hogwarts lawn a narrow berth getting as close as he dared to gaze down the crevices as far as he could, he didn't see much by virtue of the darkness and the mindless thrashing of the vines. Lighting his wand with a wave of his arm proved a foolish decision and the vines seemed to jump and lunge for him. Extinguishing the charm as fast as he'd cast it Maurice played a game of impromptu keep away until the crawling murder vine lost its interest in him, leaving him to rethink his strategy.
The vines had already spread to the lake entrance which meant he couldn't get access through the Knothole, It looked like he'd have to get a bit creative.

Hufflepuff Common Room
Bunnie restrained the urge to twitch as most of Hufflepuff panicked, however, most did not mean all.
David from fifth year was sniping at the vines to great effect with a heavily enchanted pop cork gun which seemed to act like a high caliber gun with armor-piercing corks which he didn't seem to need to reload.
Daphne was talking quietly into a two-way mirror and Dean was keeping calm somehow, inspecting the ceiling for any more cracks. So that was three people including her out of an entire house, keeping calm and not hiding under their beds in their dormitories like sniveling cowards. Granted that was a bit uncharitable to the students who weren't in the dorm at the moment. Despite being the strongest in the castle by virtue of magical limbs there was literally nothing Bunnie could do except look up at the creeping cracks appearing ominously in the ceiling of the badger's den with a sense of impending doom.

Ravenclaw Tower Common Room
Susan, Neville and the other Ravenclaw's stared enraptured as Professor Flitwick veritable bombarded the windows with strengthening and unbreakable charms. The vines which Flitwick had unceremoniously dubbed 'Kudzu' with a copious amount of swearing between spells, smacked into the windows and tore futilely at the glass with its metal thorns. A creaking sound raised the hairs on the back of their necks as the common room entrance began to squawk in alarm with small silvery vines peeking out from slowly widening gaps in the stonework. Spotting the invasion Flitwick swore viciously then called out to the prefect "Grimmet! My office! The Grey book on construction magic on the mantle! Everyone magical concrete, right Swish, up Flick, Twirl and downward slash at the target the incantation…"
An explosion rocked the common room and Neville went white, running towards the sound Susan and Bunnie followed him to his dorm room and witnessed the devastation.
A large pewter cauldron left simmering unattended in the center of the room had evidently exploded after coming into contact with the creeping kudzu vines that had made their way in through a crack in the floor the unknown mixture having an unusual effect on them.
"Neville, what exactly were you brewing in here?" Susan breathed as one of the students poked the now rusted still vine cautiously.

Slytherin Common Room
Roger swore from underneath the fallen portrait which was also swearing or at least he assumed so, it was hissing quite furiously at least, poor snake. "Roger are you okay?" Whispered Sophie carefully levering the portrait off him "I'm fine, Why are we whispering?" Roger whispered back. Sophie pointed to the underwater lake viewing windows and… was that cracks he saw around the window panes?
"and that" Sophie pointed at the common room entrance where the portrait which had been guarding the entrance had been shredded by what looked like massive thorns though it appeared the vines were too large to enter the room instead merely blocking it off.
Roger levered himself to his feet with a wince at what was probably a hairline fracture in his leg and sat on the armchair "Sophie get to my room there's a green two-way mirror on the side table, bring it to me" Sophie nodded and sprinted away.

Hogwarts, Third Floor
The tabby cat skittered across the flagstone at speed pausing at intervals to turn back into Professor McGonagall and guide the few frightened students she'd found with her forms senses away from the vines quietly urging them not to cast magic and keep following her to the exits quietly out of the castle, it seemed that the vines did not react to animagus magic and it hadn't seemed wise to test if the vines could follow noises hence the silent retreat, Following at her heels in their own, apparently unregistered, animagus forms was her defense professor Professor Ignatius who stalked along as a grizzled white tiger with grey stripes with piercing blue eyes. Likewise, his wife Lucretia stalked daintily alongside him a faded dark orange with vivid jet black stripes. Both walked to the sides of the students strong enough to bat aside any grasping vine that came close with extreme force as well as sniffing out and students in hiding.

Far beneath Hogwarts
A single very large yellow eye opened grumpily at the strange echoing scraping sound… and closed as the being registered no threat to itself and promptly went back to sleep.

Astronomy Tower
Blaise eyed the creeping thorns dubiously from the top of the Astronomy Tower, Omnioculars almost on a swivel to capture the 'invasion'
"This is Skunk to Chameleon over" Blaise jerked at the voice from his pocket and fished out the communication mirror from his pocket "This is Chameleon, glad to hear your okay Roger, what's going on your end?"
"Slytherin common room's been barricaded by thorns so we can't get out and the windows have been cracked somehow which is making me worry about imminent flooding, How bad is it on your side?"
Blaise sighed "We're holed up in the Astronomy Tower, from what we can see the castle is completely overrun, I think I saw a few messenger patroni get out but the vines seem to disrupt any magic they hit- Hang on I'm seeing something-"
Blaise refocused the Omnioculars on the grounds slowing the playback "I can confirm, Blue Blur is circling the castle, he seems to be testing the vines defenses, they don't seem to react unless he casts spells though and only seem to go the location it was cast it can tentatively be concluded that the vines are drawn to cast magic."
"If he saw it from Hogsmeade that must mean that the Army is on the way then" Roger sounded relieved and Blaise smirked.
Blaise continued to report his observations watching as Maurice lit up his wand causing the vines to redirect from their pursuit of fleeing Hogwarts students from the greenhouses with Professor Sprout to focus on him until it lost interest "He's figured out the vines and he's using himself as bait so that some of the students can escape, smart"
"Again, If he spotted it from Hogsmeade then everyone else did too, do you have any more two-way mirrors with anyone else in the castle?"
Blaise didn't but Fred, who was on the other side of the balcony with his own set of Omnioculars, did.
"That's a good idea boys, need some help?" spoke a rough voice from above the duo's heads causing Fred and Blaise startle in surprise.

2nd March, Ravenclaw Tower Common Room
Neville huffed as he dragged another cauldron down to the common room with the help of Susan. The 'potion' Neville was brewing in his dormitory had intended to be a pepper-up potion but had been left unattended before Neville had added a single ingredient leaving only the potions base ingredient, pure water. Flitwick and many of the others had been incredulous at the idea that the formidable vines had such an easy counter, right up until they realized that conjured water did absolutely jack squat except make the vines chase the caster. Susan had then remembered the experimental piping their group had been working on for their 'houses' in the ravine, so here they were, playing firefighter to a parasite that spread like fire. Neville's own cursory examination of the dead vine had shown that it seemed to have been based off of devils snare but had been tampered with to generate a hard outer shell made of what seemed to be nickel, a weak metal but against flesh in the form of razor-sharp vines absolutely lethal as well as immune to heat. The vine's movement left small cracks as the metal, fast forced to flex and reform after each movement allowing for water to seep in get caught in the enchantment and erode the metal and rot the plant thousands of times faster than nature intended. Flitwick had his own observations about the Kudzu mainly that even devils snare needed oxygen and given the kudzu's armors nature the plant would asphyxiate and die off in a week or so, Leading him to one grim conclusion "It's a weapon, or at least that's how it is being used, Hogwarts has been purposely targeted" Neville carefully adjusted the piping so the water wouldn't suddenly cut off "But why? What's so important about Hogwarts? Who would even target us? Why…" Neville trailed off as Crown Princess of the British Magical Conclaves, Princess Susan pointedly kept her silence on what potential target, read valuable potential hostage, lay within Hogwarts as she directed the other years into setting up a medical station in the corner of the room for those students 'vinefighting' their way down the hallway and returning with scratches and bruises. Neville and Flitwick exchanged grim looks and went back to help.
In a quiet corner of the common room, 'The Living Jinx' Terry Boot as he'd been named derisively by the other students in the past hour sat twitchily, exiled to the corner and made to read a book on magical meditation, the terror of the situation plain in his near fizzing magic which had gone dangerously accidental with his fright nearly shattering the windows Flitwick had put so much effort into making sturdy enough to withstand everything from dragons to nuclear bombardment. Stereotypical Ravenclaw Terry was, his mind half hysterical with panic, lingered on the fact that even if he survived this and didn't die a gruesome plant induced death then he would still never, ever, live this down.

Hogsmeade Base Camp
General Emmeline Vance had been in the old ministry meeting room discussing foreign policy with Amelia Bones and the Lieutenant Generals when the news came from seemingly all angles, Dawlish confined to desk duty had limped in escorted by a dozen worried-looking Sky Patrol Task Force soldiers, six patroni had phased through the walls and a worried yellow-haired child had been escorted to the meeting by the princesses tutor both having burst through the floo from Hogsmeade in a panic.
The rest of the fast response teams and arrived to the scene before her and had immediately began surveying the besieged castle from above unable to get too close whilst one of the Hogwarts day students, Susan's friend by the look of the hair was literally running interference around the grounds refusing to leave until his friends in the castle were safe, which was admirable and brave but not something that a eleven year old should be doing. Not that anyone could stop the boy who seemed to take any suggestion to leave it to the adults by developing the same mysterious sudden deafness syndrome Albus Dumbledore had been so prone to develop in convenient and inconvenient situations and running off before anyone could stop him.
Then King Tiberius and Queen Amelia had arrived just as the blue-haired Hogwarts student she'd been observing then did something that defied belief.

Munich 1927
It was sunny, when reading about this time period there had almost been a sense that the sun never shone on the bad guys, it was an utterly inane thought caused by distance from the subject issue, that the sun shouldn't shine in these dark times. It was one thing seeing it in a movie or reading a book about it however it was another thing entirely to live it, Mr. Keitch kept a firm grip on Agent Silvers shoulder no doubt to prevent him from getting them caught attempting to save the two romani people across the street being mercilessly harassed by youths wearing the infamous swatstika. Agent Silver needed no restraint however as he knew what was at stake but the hand on his shoulder was a nice reassurance none the less and at least helped him control the rage-induced trembling.
"Photobericht Hoffmann?" asked another of the agents faintly, visibly forcing back bile eager to get this horrid bit of history well over with and drown the memory in high proof alcohol, probably not the only one on the team.
"We take a left on the next street over" spoke Keitch tonelessly "Gameface's everyone, remember these monsters got their asses kicked so hard they're a morality lesson where we come from" That comment got a few weak grins.
"I wish that the Hitler-Grindelwald Time Travel Exemption Act wasn't actually a thing" spoke an agent grumpily "Don't we all" muttered another with feeling. The act in question put into international law in both magical and non-magical worlds after forty-two successful assassinations had led to a progressively worsening literal apocalypse after each successive timeline alteration. That had been an interesting read Silver mused, especially the cliff notes in the warnings, of the thirtieth attempt that had somehow resulted in a gnome subspecies called Nerbs who had ruled the world via an artificial-intelligence hive mind present in their pocket calculators. As well as leaving scars in the space-time continuum which still existed today, that had been a confusing event for everyone involved, even by wizarding standards.
This adventure was likely to be tame in comparison, though likely twice as nail-bitingly terrifying in its possible repercussions thought Silver with a wince.

2nd March 1992
"Well, that didn't go as I intended" grumbled the leader of Paladin Team Sigma-Alpha 2 Squad, Sergeant Rufus Scrimgeour as he let the Hogwarts student bandage his head with his own medical supplies. "We have to leave soon" noted the Weasley grumpily as he looked down the outer tower at the upward creeping vines "it didn't notice us before but that little broom stunt of yours really caught its attention"
Focused on tightening the splint and bandage on the Sergeant's leg, the same sergeant who looked as if he was in mild shock, Blaise just sighed "It's not like we knew it could fire its thorns like that"
Fred wasn't letting it go "We have one broom between us since his broke and he landed on mine, yours can carry two people tops and with his broken leg he can't fly-OH CRAP!" the tower shook as a colossal vine half as thick as the tower shot out of the ground and collided the tower just below the top of the parapets sinking down almost sulkily as gravity and the lack of a spine did its work. "PULL ME UP!" at the unexpected holler the shaken Fred and Blaise rushed to the edge incredulous gazes meeting the sheepish gaze of Maurice Bluewind as he hung precariously to a loose stone over the void.

Hogsmeade Base Camp
"I'm not the only one who saw that?" asked King Tiberius questioningly to thin air not the only one in the base camp momentary dumbfounded.
Emmeline Vance on the other hand had seen some strange things since being placed in charge of a wizard army merely placed it at number three on her list of weird-things-that-keep-her-awake-at-night and moved on.
Still the strong urge to sarcastically reply that 'No your majesty we also saw the probably first-year Hogwarts student use the man-eating super vine as a springboard ramp to successfully catapult himself to the top of Hogwarts astronomy tower' did not win out because she was a professional.

Hufflepuff Common Room
Daphne Greengrass was a gem as far as Bunnie was concerned even if she was Roger Malone's spy in Hufflepuff, looking into the two-way mirror showing a grinning Maurice holding a disgruntled looking soldier in a princess carry with Fred and Blaise in the background ready to take off on a broom. Still she wondered if he could pull this off taking care to suppress her accent as much as possible to make herself understood "Are you sure you can do this sugar?"
Maurice nodded cockily the adrenaline from his previous jump clearly having not worn off yet and rolled his eyes. "Give me directions to the Hufflepuff Common rooms, you and Rufie here-" the professional soldiers scowl at the less than professional nickname was adorable "-break down the door so everyone can get out while I play distraction. Seriously I'm ready lets go do it" 'Rufie' gave a shallow gulp and closed his eyes as Maurice got ready to sprint, the mirror turning black. Bunnie felt only pity for the soldier, the zigzagging path from the top of the Astronomy tower not counting the alternative routes Maurice might have to take was bound to give him whiplash especially at Maurice's speed. "Good luck, Sugar"
Bunnie hadn't been wrong, standing outside the Hufflepuff Common room several minutes later propped up on a barrel Rufus heaved into a corner quite green while an unrepentant Maurice grinned wordlessly. Zigzag was the mildest of description of the path Maurice had taken, down to the fifth floor around the vines to the other set of moving stairs across the castle, there Maurice had made his way down the banisters grinding at speed causing sparks to fly from the enchanted stairway banister and his shoes own enchantments skidding off each other. Scrimgeour had been alternating between screeching or whimpering the entire way as Maurice zipping down to the basement level which had become a case of the walls having a wallpaper made of vines and being dangerous to touch.
Rufus after gathering his composure marched over to the entrance and began to crudely hack at the door with a rune-covered trenching tool previously concealed in a hidden pocket and much-misdirected nerves.
"What's going on out there?" came Bunnie's muffled voice through the wall. "This part of the wall isn't covered in vines" realized Maurice aloud pulling Rufus back before calling out as loud as he dared "Bunnie! If you can hear where this tapping noise is can you break the wall down?"
"..." a thoughtful silence "Bunnie?" questioned Maurice as the silence lengthened.
"Stand back ah am about ta demonstrate wha ma godfather calls a indestructible door fallacy!"
Maurice yelped and rapidly back-pedaled further away with Rufus to avoid falling masonry as Bunnie violently and with an excessive amount of enthusiasm tore down the wall as if it had mortally offended her.
"So much for the plan" Maurice snorted then promptly choked on the mortar dust in front of the smug witch.
"Your ravens have infiltrated the mirror network, You'll need this" spoke a dry voice from behind Bunnie causing Bunnie tor startle out of her post-destruction grin and move out of the entrance revealing another equally dusty student with dust streaked blonde hair and blue eyes. "Who?"
"Daphne Greengrass" the first-year student warily stepped through the hole and brusquely introduced herself as the rest of the Hufflepuff's poured into the hallway out of the slowly collapsing common room not pausing to chatter. She pushed a mirror into unresisting hands where Maurice's expression shifted from confusion to delight at hearing a familiar voice from what he now realized was another two-way mirror "Maurice! I'm glad your okay" Maurice felt a knot of worry unravel at seeing Susan's face in the mirror "Where are you? I'll come to get you"
Susan smiled in the mirrors reflection "I'm fine at the moment but the Slytherin's seem to be in trouble, they're trapped in their common room under the lake with a leaky window, can you play decoy and distract the Kudzu so they can move to another level?"
Here Rufus interjected "The 'Kudzu' down at that level has completely blocked the corridors, It might be a better idea for them to use a Bubblehead Charm to breathe underwater and just escape through the window"
Maurice glanced at the cracked Hufflepuff ceiling, envisioned the swaying Astronomy Tower and winced. "Not to mention the castle might just fall down completely with that much thrashing"
"We should get everyone out that can still get out while the going's good" spoke the student with a pop cork gun slung like a hunting rifle over his shoulder.
"There's a way out by the two corridors over" Maurice pointed over his shoulder with his thumb "It's a hole in the wall caused by the vines, it's a bit of a fall so I'd suggest taking a few mattresses"
Susan and Neville exchanged confused looks "or just use feather lightening charms?" suggested Neville unsurely, it was Rufus who refuted the statement and informed him why it was a bad idea. "Inadvisable, the Kudzu is attracted to cast spells the more spells cast the more persistent the vines, they started to chase us after it was cast on me but lost interest after we got far away enough" The Ravenclaw side of the mirror went abruptly silent before loud swearing was heard in the background. Susan's expression went grim as she took a deep breath "We've been casting defensive spells at the vines since this started, if we stop now they'll overwhelm us before they lose interest, we're going to need a distraction"
"I can be distracting, I can be very distracting" Maurice grinned tapping his foot on the ground with subconscious jitters.
Neville came into view in the mirror "The Kudzu vines have a weakness we've been using to repel them, Clear natural water makes them rust into immobility"
"In hindsight that seems obvious" mused Maurice thinking on the time his cousin had once tried to take a toy robot he got for Christmas into the bath with him and ended up with an afro from the electric discharge, that had been the high point of that year.
"Conjured water doesn't work" Susan warned. "Well, Darn that makes things a lot harder" Bunnie pouted, a crash sounded on Susan's side of the mirror and Maurice straightened "Right, I'm coming over there right now" Susan nodded "I'll tell the Slytherin's the escape plan"

Seventh Floor Corridor
Maurice stopped on the seventh floor after yet another detour as the vines infiltrated the rest of the castle, upon hearing loud indistinct yelling from a new crack in a wall that seemed to leak a dark mist, Maurice slowed to a stop and cautiously shouted back "Hello? Are you okay? Do you need help?"
The yelling toned down the volume and gained an irritated inflection "I'm fine I can get myself out of this mess just fine all by myself!"
Maurice snapped his fingers in realization "You're that kid that dunked me in the lake that one time!" Lee Jordan's somewhat scathing reply was drowned out by a loud roar on his side of the wall and what sounded like splashing "Knucklehead! You okay in there?"
"WHY IS THERE A DRAGON IN A SCHOOL!" Lee's enraged yell was cut off by a yelp and a roar sending shivers down Maurice's spine "Knucklehead! I'm going to break down this wall and get you out okay?"
There was no reply as Maurice cast an explosive Bombarda at the wall in a broad sweeping arc, unfortunately, it seemed as if Lee had the same idea though on a different scale.. and angle as the yell of "Bombarda Maxima!" attested to.
Maurice only had a moment to glimpse what had happened before he jettisoned himself away from the wall in alarm and up onto a statue to avoid the tidal wave of water that came crashing through the hole.
Maurice observed in silence for a solid minute before activating the two-way mirror to the Ravenclaw common room "Maurice? Why is the castle flooding?" came Susan's voice, he wordlessly turned the mirror to face the water spewing hole in the wall "...What?"
"I'm on the seventh floor" Maurice added dryly for context.
"...Where's all the water even coming from?" Maurice shrugged not even caring that she couldn't see it.
Gripping the edge of a conjured rope the completely sodden Lee emerged from the hole and made his way over to the statue and pulled himself up next to Maurice and the mirror as the deluge showed no sign of stopping and turned to the increasingly incredulous Bluenet and the Princess in the mirror "So... how was your day?"