Lessons Learned

It took a long time to pull myself together. My muscles were stiff and sore, the deep ache that came from being immobile for too long. They protested fiercely as I forced myself upright until I was sitting. Sweat beaded on my forehead and my arms shook from the effort.

Wiping the back of my hand across my running nose I glanced around the small cave as I tried to gather what dignity I had left. It wasn't much, not after that display, but the few long moments I sat there and just breathed helped a great deal. The strip of meat, still steaming and making a small puddle in the ice floor, made my stomach clench harshly. I was both hungry and nauseas…and I knew from experience that eating now would just mean purging it later.

Another ache, lower, had me grimacing in pain and annoyance as I rubbed my abdomen in realization. That was one thing I had hoped we could have avoided, but it looked like I was out of time.

My eyes trailed longingly to the pool to my left, but I just couldn't. I couldn't relax after what had just happened. Instead I crawled forward through the tunnel. I had to know…had to know if he really did leave me here. My chest was tight and my throat thick as I pulled myself one inch at a time until I was near the exit.

Light was streaming in from the hole, so bright I could barely see and was forced to squint the closer I got. My fingers skittered over wood and I breathed a sigh of relief as an electrical sensation crawled up my arm as I gripped my wand. It really was just where he said it would be.

Tears sprung to my eyes and I bit my lip harshly to stop myself from crying. I had done quite enough of that already, and the pain helped keep me grounded as I wiggled my hips out of the hole.

The fresh air felt rejuvenating, the cold biting at my exposed cheeks as I fell backwards onto the snow, turning my head back until I was looking straight up into the blue sky. I think this was the first time I've seen the sky without a single cloud. It really was quite beautiful.

I snapped my wand back into the brown holster over my arm and leaned back. My weight pushed my hands into the snow, and I could feel them already start to go numb. I knew I should cast the heating charm, but the cold helped kept me focused. So I sat there for several long minutes just breathing in the cold air and letting the snow numb my hands and legs. It felt like soon I wouldn't be able to feel them at all.

Only once I felt as close to calm as I was able, did I bring my gaze back down to the surrounding area. I squinted at the white snow, trying to find a trail of some sort. Leaning forward until I could rest my chin on my knees, I darted my eyes back and forth over the ground but found no sign other than my own.

I supposed that made sense. Snape was a dragon after all, why walk when he could just fly. The sensation of something thick trying to crawl up from the bottom of my throat persisted, even as I took great breaths and swallowed to try to contain it. I felt as if letting it go would mean screaming uselessly into the white void until even my voice left me.

Heat bloomed down one cheek, followed by the icy cold and I hurriedly wiped away the stray tear. Movement in the white drew my attention before I could wipe the second. Just to the right of me, something in the snow moved. I turned to it, squinting to help see through the blinding white, and I realized suddenly what I was staring at…or more accurately who.

Snape was settled into a little divot in the snow, curled into a tight ball as he gazed listlessly out in the horizon. More tears threatened to fall when I realized he had never left.

I wanted to ask him why he stayed, wanted to thank him for not leaving, but when I opened my mouth, what came out was: "How far did you get?"

He hummed curiously at me, the frills nearest to his head fluttering with the sound.

"Before you turned back, I mean," I continued because why not. In for a penny as they say.

"Do you really think so little of me?" Snape finally turned his piercing gaze to me and I froze under it. The purple green, so bright and heavy, weighed upon me as if a physical thing, bringing my guilt to drape it over my shoulders like a cape.

"No," I replied sullenly, turning my head to burry it in my arms. The silence persisted between us, but I could still feel his gaze upon me. "Yes," I finally sighed in frustration, turning to look back at him, head still heavy in my folded arms. "I don't know…I don't really know you."

My admission only made him blink slowly at me. The lids sliding over his eyes and opening again to reveal a white murky translucence that peeled away to the corner of his eyes. The nictitating membrane, just like an owl. Hedwig would do the same slow blink at me when she thought I was doing something particularly stupid. The slower slide of the membrane always left me cringing, just a little bit. It was just so different.

"You should know me well enough by now," he bit out and I huffed in frustration.

"I really don't," I sighed, bringing one hand up to gesture angrily between us. "Aside from the four years of your utter bullshit," I continued over his indignant growling, "and the almost week we've spent here, I've barely call us more than acquaintances. I know nothing about you except for what you tell me, and what you tell me is very little!"

His gaze turned pinched, eyelids squinting as the frills along his neck stood up straight. "We've been here more than a week now," the admission left me reeling. Had it really been that long? "And if that is what you think, then you haven't been listening." Snape's words weren't hissed, but they were pitched low and I knew, just like I knew the other day with the teasing, that I had hurt him.

"I know you care," I whispered, tucking my chin on my arms and letting my eyes fall onto the landscape before us instead of on him. "I do," I admitted, because it was true. If he didn't care I would have been dead in that arena, or on the first night stuck in this place. If he didn't care I would be sitting here alone and he would have been a thousand leagues away by now.

"It's just," I started again, afraid to bring up the one topic that had started this mess after we seemed to be having a civil discussion. For a moment, I wished we were back inside so I could sit in front of the tunnel and he would have no chance to fly off if he got mad at me again. But that wasn't fair, to either of us. I wasn't his jailor, even though I had forced him into a body not his own. "After what I did…I thought –"

"You thought wrong," Snape cut me off and for the first time I was grateful he had done so. Already I could feel my eyes becoming wet and I wanted to stop crying, damnit!

I tucked my face into my arms, using my exposed wrist to discreetly wipe at my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"So you keep saying," he sighed, and I could feel his anger and frustration just below the surface. He was trying so very hard to keep himself from lashing out and that just made more tears start to well up. "No more," Snape was suddenly near enough that I could feel his heat on my hip and I turned to look at him underneath my arm and through the dark cascade of my hair.

He wasn't looking at me, choosing instead to take in the empty void around us. "No more secrets. You tell me everything," I nodded sullenly as my own gaze fell on the dead dragon. It looked like a small mountain of white now. The snow had completely buried it. "Is there anything else you have failed to tell me?"

I shook my head and sniffled, straightening to wipe at my cheeks once more, before I paused. Well, there was one thing… "I think I started my period."

The look he gave me was almost worth it, and even though I was still choked up, I started to laugh. Goddamned hormones.

Figuring out the situation with my lady parts took longer than I thought, and without the wonderful products provided my Madam Pomfrey, well, we improvised. I learned the shit out of the scourgify spell and used it copiously.

There was one teeny tiny not so little problem of the trousers though. "What do you mean scourgify won't work?!" I shouted, scrubbing at them from where I was submerged in the heated pool. I had to wait nearly an hour after Snape reheated it before it was cooled enough for me to not melt.

"The trousers are a part of the battle robes," Snape replied from the other end of the cave, where he lay curled up with his back to me. I had still blushed hotly when I tried to strip without showing anything, which defeated the purpose of getting naked to bathe, and finally threw the black robes over him and told him not to move until I was submerged. It wasn't that I didn't trust Snape not to look, like he promised, it was just…well, I only had ever been naked around my dorm mates. And they were all girls.

"What does that have to do with anything," I grumbled the words, dunking my trousers again and scrubbing the fabric together to try to get the blood out.

"They are charmed, remember?" Snape replied just as annoyed.

"Oh, don't you dare," I hissed at him, throwing the soaked clothing onto the floor as near to him as I could get. It hit the ground with a flthop sound just a few feet shy of the small dragon. "You don't get to be annoyed, or embarrassed! Do you know how mortifying this is for me?" My fight or flight reflex had been broken since I was born, it was always stuck on fight. Even if it was just an awkward situation, my switch seemed to flip into fight mode.

"We can be equally mortified!" Snape shouted back, turning away hurriedly when he had looked up at the loud sound of wet cloth hitting the ground and seeing me in my naked glory, half way out of the bath and reaching for my panties to clean them as well.

"Don't look!" I screamed, choking on the water as I nearly drowned myself trying to get back into the pool.

"Don't throw your clothing!" He screeched back. Snape tucked his head down low and with his eyes squeezed shut he started to move. "I'll wait outside until you're finished."

"No!" I shouted before he could get to the entrance, suddenly afraid that if he left he would disappear…like I had thought he had earlier. Snape turned to me in surprise, blinking his purple green eyes widely as I almost reached for him. The lip of the pool came up to my collarbone, and I know that I wasn't showing anything indecent, and yet still I flushed in embarrassment. "I mean…please don't," I couldn't get the words out, but Snape seemed to understand.

Grunting in annoyance, he hopped onto the pile of robes and settled himself once more so he was facing away. "Just don't throw anything."

I was relieved, but still too mortified to thank him, so I just went back to scourgifying my underwear. Once they were clean, I gave them a good soak and set them on the edge of the pool next to my once again whole tank top. Thank Merlin a simple repair spell on them had worked, seeing as I was at my wits end with clothing. Just how was I supposed to keep my trousers clean?

After a while of brainstorming while I floated in the nearly too hot water, I asked Snape that very question. His answer was just as unhelpful. Try not bleeding, because yeah…that would totally work.

"I need different trousers," I finally admitted as I sat shivering on the cave floor, the robe piled around my lap as Snape tried to dry my gryffindor red trousers without setting them on fire. Turns out, drying charms don't work on magic repelling material either.

"And where are you going to get those?" Snape's voice was flourished, jumping high and low as if he was on stage. He definitely tried to put an extra umph in his mocking today…probably because of the topic at hand. I've never seen a teacher so flustered before, and certainly not the dungeon bat.

"Well," I replied as shuffled closer to the alcove the eggs were in without exposing myself to my professor. I may have not been totally naked, but with a tank top and undies, I was pretty damn close. "I always wanted a pair of dragon leather breeches," I laughed jokingly, reaching in to touch the eggs.

My fingers rested upon the hard shells for several seconds checking their temperature one at a time before recasting the heating rune. It wasn't until I was finished and seated once more against the wall did I realize Snape was staring at me. "What?"

He blinked slowly and tilted his head to the side. "That could actually work."

"Wait," I brought my hand up and shook it side to side to stop him from talking. "Are you saying yes?"

"I said it could work," Snape bit out, voice warbling as his fins fluttered along his back. "It entirely depends on your ability to master leatherworking on a magical resistant material."

"Oh," I replied with a sigh. "Another lesson?"

Turns out it was a lot more lessons. I first had to learn how to harvest the hide without damaging it. Snape had me start on the most damaged end for practice. Only once I had completed the task to his standards – which were way too ridiculous – did we move onto curing it into leather. At first I was picturing the hide strung up on a rack while I used a rock or something to scrape the flesh and fat from it and then somehow salting it…and I think soaking after?

Dudley often walked away from the television when he grew bored, and barely remembered to turn it off. I could get away with watching it if I was doing chores and occasionally one of those nature survival shows popped on. I couldn't really remember how to make leather, but I remembered the basics of tanning a hide.

Dragon hide is nothing like that. Not even a little. There's the spells that are layered one on top of the other, then you soak it in fire. Yep…fire. Then more spell work. And after all that, then comes the actual tailoring. In the end, the tailoring spells were almost easy in comparison. By the time I had finished one pair of dragonhide breeches, I only had scrap leather left.

I was frustrated with myself. I should have had enough leather for three breeches and several jackets, but the learning curve for actually making them was steep. I now understood why it was so goddamn expensive to purchase, they were a bitch to make. At least they went nicely with my dragonhide boots.

"I'm actually impressed that you were able to get this far at all," Snape admitted to me while I admired myself in the mirror I had conjured into the ice wall.

The cave had expanded in between my tailoring lessons. Snape said it was because my knowledge in basic household magic was remiss and that I should be honored that he was willing to correct this failing in my learning. Which I was, I really was…it's just that, well…it was Snape. That man – or dragon – was the smuggest bastard I have ever met, and lately he had been smug a lot.

The trousers weren't exactly tight, nor were they lose. They were a double layered, a tight, almost legging like, layer underneath to keep me warm, and then a baggier outer layer to expel the snow and water. It wasn't unattractive, just different. They also hid how little meat was on posterior, which was a plus. Angelina kept telling me I would grow into my body, but I had been rail thin for most of my life that I had no real hope for the future either.

I just really wished that I had gotten the hang of the spells sooner, or that there was more hide. I could really do with a proper shirt.

"It's all gone," Snape grumbled at me from within the stone basin. He was laying stretched out, stomach bloated from his meal. His tail curled around the inactive portkey, the white on gold a contrast to the dark stone. "You used it all," he grunted in annoyance as I crouched down in front of the horntail.

It really was a gruesome sight, skinned down to the fat and muscle, chunks missing where I had carved out strips for food. The organs had been harvested, and thank Merlin for magic because otherwise I would have had to crawl inside for some of them.

"I'm not looking for more hide," I replied, moving around the head to get to the shoulder.

"Then what are you looking for?" He asked, trying to get leverage to sit. Snape struggled over his protruding stomach, round and large from his last meal. That little guy could certainly pack away quite a bit of food.

"What do you think about the bones?"

"We've talked about this," he replied, finally perched onto the lip of the basin. "Full sentences. Use them."

"What," I began with a long sigh, "do you think, about using the dragon bones?"

"What would you use them for?" He asked fluttering his wings as he leapt down into the snow and started to make his way over to me.

"I don't know," I replied. "Things, I guess. Maybe a sled."

"Do you plan on going sledding?" Snape latched onto the dragonhide pants, his talons unable to pierce enough to get a leverage enough to climb. Instead, he gripped the lose leather beneath his double thumbs and fisted it until he could scramble up. It took a few attempts, the first time he tried to do that after I had completely discarded my stained and torn trousers from the tournament, had ended up with him upended in the snow. I though he was going to set me on fire for how loud I had laughed. But now he climbed these just as easily as he had the others.

"Don't be ridiculous," I straightened and moved my head aside while he settled himself upon my exposed shoulder. It was a clear day with little wind so I had forgone the black robes and as the eggs were still using my jacket for the nest, well I was just in my tank top and handy dandy heating charm. I winced as his clawed toes dug into my skin to keep his balance and tried not to move to quickly. "I meant for carrying things."

"To carry what? And to where?" Snape asked as I did a slow circuit of the corpse.

"We can't stay here," I replied as I came to stop at the nose once more. "Soon we will be out of food."

"There's still plenty left," Snape replied, and though he was correct, it wouldn't be for long.

"And what about when the eggs hatch?" I asked, tilting my head to catch his gaze out of the periphery of mine. "It may seem like a lot now, but when the other eleven eggs hatch what then?"

"Hari," he sighed, his little body expanding with the movement and then deflating…like a balloon.

"Severus," I replied with a sharp tone. It was enough to derail whatever excuse he was about to come up with. "It's been almost a month. They're not coming."

"They could be," Snape cut in, tone sharp and high. "Something may have happened. When they do get here, it's best if we stay put."

He was right in that sense. Every teacher had always said if lost stay where you are and let rescue come to you…but rescue wasn't coming. Not this time. "You don't know that," I replied, trying to be gentle with my voice even as I felt the anger start to crawl up my throat. How could he not see what I saw?

I gestured toward the nest, where the single golden egg still lay. "Look, you already said the portkey is dead –"

"Inactive," he interrupted.

"Inactive," I repeated. "And how can we fix it? We can't because we don't know how!" His silence answered me. "You don't know. No one does," I added quickly to avoid another fight. Snape rarely admitted to not knowing something, and throwing that in his face was a guaranteed way to start an argument. "Severus," I sighed again, voice going soft. "I don't think we have that long."

He grunted, turning away take in the bleak scenery. I know he wanted to argue the case of exterminating the eggs, giving us more time – and more food – if we ended them now. But he knew me well enough to not even try. That was an argument long since dead. He would never win it, and he knew that.

"And where, exactly, would we go?"

"I don't know," I replied, allowing my gaze to follow his into the horizon. "Pick a direction." I waved my arms out, spinning in place even as I felt his talons dig into my shoulder and his thumbs catch onto the locks of my hair to maintain balance.

"We can't leave yet," he grunted in annoyance as I finally stopped moving and let him retake his position. I was irritated with his answer, but didn't argue as he was conceding the fight to me. "You are not prepared, and how are we supposed to travel with the eggs?"

It frustrated me to no end that he had a point…a good point. "Fine, after they hatch. We use the bones and whatever hide is left to make a sled, carve up as much meat as it can hold, and then go in…" I twirled again, slower this time. "That direction," pointing towards the sun that was just beginning to set.

"That would be west," Snape replied, voice low and each word over enunciated. Truly, the king of snark.

"Fine then, west it is. Glad we agree."

"I didn't agree to anything!" Snape spluttered, one of his wings smacking the back of my head as he flapped them, descending from my shoulder to perch on the stone basin once more.

"Yes, you did," I replied cheekily, sauntering back into the cave, the hole now big enough that I could slide down on my bum.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor!" Snape shouted. My pealing laugh echoed around the tunnel as I slid into the cave.

Two days later, the first egg started to move.