Chapter 5: Need


The next morning, they found themselves assembled in front of four large tripod frames with wires hanging down from them to begin their 3DMG training.

"First, let's see if you're good for something!" Commandant Shadis roared at the crowd of cadets before him. "Just tie the ropes to both sides of your waist and hang down from there! Use your full-body belts for balance! Those who can't do this aren't even fit to be bait! We'll send you off to farm the wasteland!"

"Hey, Heidi, come get in line with me," Peter said confidently, as if her rejection the previous day had never happened. Apparently, he wasn't ready to admit defeat.

"Why should I have to go with you?" Heidi asked, furrowing her brow with an open look of annoyance on her face.

"Well," Peter said with a cocky grin, "for a friendless person like you, of course I'll have to look out for..."

"Heidi! Let's go over there!" Sasha said excitedly, grabbing her hand and pulling her off to stand in a completely different line than the one he had been pointing at.

"... Eh?" Peter said, chagrined that Heidi had managed to escape so easily. Since when was she the type to make friends? Ah, that's right... The reason why Heidi never had any friends before was because he used to scare them away...

Shadis and the other instructors watched while the cadets divided up and formed lines to take turns trying out their harnesses.

"This is but the most basic step, but from here we can get a good grasp for a person's general aptitude for three-dimensional maneuvering," the silver-haired instructor with glasses from the previous day remarked as he observed their progress with one of the younger instructors. "Hm... That girl, there... Look at her," he said, nodding to Mikasa, who was up first. "This is what I call perfect. She knows exactly what to do and how to do it. That's what I mean by aptitude." Next to her was Connie, then Sasha (who was hanging there swinging back and forth), and Jean. Their forms weren't as perfect as Mikasa's, but they weren't bad for their first try. "Hmm... It looks like we have many talented cadets this time around," he remarked as they four of them stepped down, and the next ones in line took their places.

'Oh... This isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be...' Heidi thought, a bit surprised as she hung from her harness, balancing by using mostly the muscles in her legs and torso. It was kind of like swimming, but without water and more gravity involved.

'Hmm... It seems her aptitude for this is better than her father's,' Shadis thought as he watched her. She had wobbled once, but then immediately became almost as steady and still as Mikasa had been.

Practicing with 3DMG was a demanding, unforgiving affair. Humans are creatures used to moving in two dimensions, and this training involved accommodating them to a third one. Physical strength was the most important of all, especially in the lower body. However, anti-gravity capacity (females are particularly good at this) and good perception of space came in at a close second. It takes above-average willpower, especially to avoid panicking upon realizing that one was in midair. To that end, they'd perform a variety of activities such as bungee jumping and apparatus gymnastics, on top of which the instructors might deliberately cut off their lifelines to test their reactions. In layman's terms, a 'surprise attack' of sorts. This training was hardly anyone's definition of safe, but those who died in undertaking it would have stood no chance in front of a titan anyway. Therefore, those who did complete it achieved strong morale and great self-confidence. 'Odd, it looks like your daughter will make a splendid warrior,' he thought, remembering the smiling face of his old subordinate. 'Today that little girl you were forced to leave behind because of my poor decisions... has become a soldier.'

"Umm, what about him?" the young instructor asked his silver-haired superior as a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face, pointing at Eren.

"... Speaking of aptitude... If some people can perform much better than others, then the exact opposite is equally true," his superior replied as they stared at the boy who was bent over backwards in his harness with his brown hair almost touching the ground.

"What are you doing, Eren Yeager!!?" the commandant demanded, ready to chew him out. "Straighten yourself up!!"

'No way...' Heidi thought as she watched the commotion next to her with wide eyes, stunned. 'How could Eren...!?' A lot of the people who were still waiting in line to try snickered and laughed at him. She could see that Armin and Mikasa were shocked.

'Huh...? What's going on...?' Eren thought as he hung there uselessly, wide-eyed with shock. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get back up. 'How did... this happen? You've gotta be kidding me... It wasn't meant to go down this way...!!'

"Hey, don't take it so hard... Not everyone gets it right away on the first try," Heidi told Eren after they were unhooked as they walked over to wait with Mikasa and Sasha while Armin took his turn next.

"I don't need your pity," he muttered bitterly.

"No, I mean, look over there," she said, pointing to some of the others who had just been hooked up. Armin seemed to be struggling, but he was actually doing the best out of his group. The others just looked plain ridiculous as they wobbled around, waving their arms while trying to keep their balance and stay upright, especially Peter. For all his muscles, he wasn't doing so hot. If Eren hadn't just failed, it would have been downright comical, but as things stood, he had no right to laugh. "You probably just need more practice..."

"That's it!" Eren said excitedly as they joined the others.

"What's it?" Mikasa asked.

"Mikasa, you're good at this, right!?" he said. "I need you to help me practice so I won't fail again!"

—∞—

In the end, nothing they did helped. In fact, Eren seemed to be getting worse. Mikasa and Armin ended up having to drag him to see the camp doctor after he flipped over and hit his head on the ground and knocked himself out cold. By the time he regained consciousness, they had already finished practicing 3D maneuvering, and the tripods had been taken down for the day. Sitting in the mess hall to eat supper, Heidi had to stop Sasha multiple times from trying to steal from Eren's unguarded plate as he stared off into space.

"Hey, Daz... Ain't that the guy from last night?" one of the older cadets remarked rather loudly to his friend as they stared at Eren from several tables over. "He was like 'I'm gonna slaughter them titans to the last', wasn't he?"

"I hear he almost killed himself in basic position control training," Daz told his friend with the hint of a smirk.

"Seriously? Can't imagine how someone could fail at that... What happened to this guy, to want to wipe out the titans?"

"Eren," Heidi said, trying to get his attention.

"Beats me. They're gonna kick him out eventually at this rate."

"Eren."

"It's not like we can afford to waste food on the useless."

"Eren!" Mikasa said, squeezing his shoulder to get his attention.

"Ow!" Eren exclaimed, flinching in pain as something cracked.

"I'm sorry," Heidi apologized, slapping Sasha's hand away from his plate. "I said something irresponsible..."

"There's no point in worrying about it," Armin said reasonably. None of them could have predicted that Eren would be this bad at it. "If you pull it off tomorrow, everything will be okay. More importantly, you should eat to recover from your blood loss."

"..." Eren ate a spoonful of soup, but he still didn't look like his usual self. "... What if... I can't pull it off tomorrow? I-I won't know what to do with myself..." he said worriedly, holding his bandaged head.

"Come on, already. It's not worth losing sleep over it for now," Armin said reasonably.

"Armin's right. You need a full night's rest, or you won't have any strength when you need it most. This defeatist attitude isn't like you at all," Heidi added, frowning slightly in concern.

"This is pathetic... How am I supposed to wipe them out like this?" Eren asked, completely unaffected by their awkward attempt at a pep talk. Sasha opened her mouth to speak, but immediately closed it when Heidi guessed what she was about to say and quietly handed over the rest of her bread.

"Maybe you... should just forget about that altogether," Mikasa said.

"Huh!?" Eren demanded incredulously.

"Eh?" Armin asked as he and Heidi both froze with their soup spoons in their mouths. What was Mikasa saying? Eren had pretty much built his whole existence around his desire to wipe out the titans. What was he supposed to do without it?

"If you're not cut out for it, then that's just the way it is. If you can barely pull your own weight, the only thing you'll manage to do is to die pointlessly," Mikasa stated. "All your dreams and efforts will have been for naught."

"..." they all stared at her, stunned. Armin and Heidi knew what she was saying wasn't wrong, but...

"Wha... Say what?" Eren said, thinking he must have misheard.

"I'm saying you don't have to be a soldier. Supporting humankind as a manufacturer is also an option," Mikasa explained. "Fighting is not just about tossing your life out the window."

"Wh-What the hell... I saw what happened that day!" Eren reminded her, gritting his teeth in anger. "Do you really think you can just convince me to quit!?"

"Still, it doesn't matter how determined you are," Mikasa told him.

"Huh? Why not!?" Eren demanded.

"Because you don't get to decide if you're fit to be a soldier or not," she reminded him.

"Uh...!!" Eren flinched in shock, realizing she was right. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. 'Bitch... I know that!' he thought angrily as he began shoveling food into his mouth. 'True enough, I shouldn't even think of it as long as I can't even pull that trick off... It's only logical... I've got no way to argue against that at the moment. You're pretty much telling me to shut the hell up... Eh, Miss I-can-do-whatever-like-it's-nobody's-business!'

'Uwahh... That's a really scary look he's got on his face,' Heidi thought warily. She knew Mikasa meant well, but things were starting to get ugly fast...

"...!" Mikasa gasped, looking down when she saw the expression on Eren's face.

Ding~! Ding~!

The moment the bell rang to signal that it was time for everyone not on duty to head to their barracks, everyone in the mess hall began gathering up their empty plates and cleaning up after themselves.

"I'm not saying... you should return to the fields alone," Mikasa began a bit hesitantly. "When that happens, I'll be going too... So... you should not let it trouble you," she finished a bit a shyly as she turned to face Eren, who had somehow turned into Sasha. Sasha stared back at her, caught red-handed trying to steal her bread.

"Sorry, Mikasa... but the boys already left," Heidi said a bit awkwardly, feeling embarrassed for her. The mess hall was almost completely empty now.

"So, umm... What you're saying is... that I can have that?" Sasha asked, pointing at the bread.

"..." Mikasa and Heidi stared at her. Really? Mikasa picked the roll up and held it out like she was going to give to her. Sasha's eyes lit up with excitement as she reached out to take it. Mikasa promptly withdrew the bread and ate it herself. All of the light left Sasha's eyes, and her expression deadpanned. That was just cruel.

"What're you doing, eh, Sasha?" Ymir called from the doorway.

"Y-Yes!!" Sasha said, immediately snapping to attention as she stood up and saluted.

"What happened to taking care of me and Krista's part of that water-drawing chore?" Ymir asked bluntly.

"Ye-Yes, right away, my savior, my God... hehehe," Sasha said, laughing nervously, as she ran over to leave with Ymir and Krista.

"Surely, you don't value that life of yours we rescued so lightly?" Ymir asked with a devious smirk, putting an arm around Sasha to prevent her from running away in the event that she changed her mind.

"You can't do that," Krista protested a bit feebly as she followed them out. "Stop it..."

"... Aren't you going to save her?" Mikasa asked once she finished swallowing her bread.

"I though about it... but I realized I might've been spoiling her a bit too much. She needs to learn to break that habit of automatically assuming that anyone who gives her something to eat is a 'good person'," Heidi answered with a sigh. If she wasn't more selective in which strangers she took food from, that habit was going to get her into trouble someday. "And experience is the best teacher, so..."

"So, you chose the lesser of two evils and decided to let Ymir give her that 'experience'," Mikasa concluded.

"I'll stop it if it gets out of hand, but for now I think I'll let this lesson run its course," Heidi agreed, though she wouldn't exactly call Ymir 'lesser'... "As for Eren, try not to worry too much. There's still tomorrow, and you never know... a miracle might happen. Either way, you'll be there for him, right?" she said with a small, knowing smile. Mikasa looked down shyly and nodded. That's right. Whatever happened, she and Eren would always be together...

—∞—

The next day, the tripods for basic maneuvering practice were brought out again.

"Eren Yeager... Are you ready?" Shadis asked while Thomas finished hooking his harness up to the wires. "The ability to operate 3DMG is the absolute lowest requirement for a soldier. If you cannot do this, we'll send you back to farm the wastelands... Understand?"

"Yes, sir!" Eren answered determinedly. He spared a glance over at some of the others who were struggling to pass this same ultimatum. 'I'll do it! I'll do it or die trying!' he thought anxiously. 'I might have no aptitude for this, but still... when it comes to sheer guts, I'm second to no one!'

"Begin," Shadis said. Thomas carefully turned the crank and slowly lifted Eren into the air.

'To hell with logic!' Eren continued in his mind. 'It might be utterly baseless! But it's all I've got! And it is my weapon!!' Eren gritted his teeth, trembling all over as he focused every fiber of his being on staying upright.

"Ooh!" his friends and the rest of the crowd gasped in amazement.

'Hell yeah... I did it!!' Eren thought excitedly.

FWIP!

"Aaah!" Eren cried out in pain and dismay as his head slammed into the ground again. Heidi had blinked, and the next thing she knew, Eren was hanging upside down from his harness. She and the others stared with open mouths, appalled on his behalf. "No..." Eren moaned as he stared ahead with wide eyes, mortified.

"!" Shadis said when he noticed something strange. "Put him down."

"Not yet...!" Eren cried, struggling to get back up. "I-I'm still...!! I'm not...!!"

"Put him down now," Shadis ordered firmly. Thomas reluctantly lowered Eren the rest of the way down. It was completely silent except for the wind. Eren pushed himself up onto his knees. He was shaking.

"I'm not..." Eren started to protest feebly, when the commandant decided to issue another order.

"Wagner," Shadis said.

"Sir?" Thomas responded, awaiting his orders.

"Exchange your equipment with Yeager's," Shadis told him, surprising everyone present.

As soon as they were done exchanging harnesses, Eren was hooked up and raised into the air again. For some reason, his form was much better, and he found it much easier to stay upright this time.

"Your equipment was defective," Shadis explained. "The metal fixtures on your belt were damaged. Normally, it goes up to the waist so that even if you're overturned, your head shouldn't hit the ground."

"Huh?" Eren said, surprised. Then, the reason why he kept flipping over before was...?

"I've never heard of this part breaking before; I guess we'll have to add it to the maintenance checklist. You're gonna have to get yourself some new, proper gear," Shadis told him.

'Wow...' Heidi thought. 'Then, even with broken equipment, he still managed to...!?'

"Th-Then... What about my military aptitude...?" Eren asked anxiously.

"... No problem," Shadis said. "Train hard."

'Hell yeah!!' Eren thought excitedly, pumping his fists in the air victoriously. 'I did it! Whaddaya think, Mikasa!? I can do this! I can fight the titans!! You can finally stop mollycoddling me!!'

"!" Mikasa gasped when she saw the expression on his face.

"Looks like the miracle happened..." Reiner said as he and Bertolt smiled, amazed he was able to pull it off.

"If that look on his face isn't triumph, I don't know what is," Armin said, excited and relieved for his friend.

"Victory!" Heidi cheered, pumping one of her own fists in the air.

"It isn't," Mikasa said, surprising them. "He's thinking about how he won't have to stay close to me anymore, and it makes him happy..." she explained, looking extremely hurt.

The others stared at her in shock. They didn't know what to say. Heidi quietly placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.