Cathay is the medieval word for China.
The picnic seemed to be a success. Christine chatted all the way down, riding alone on her own horse. It was an older, tame one that Erik trusted with Christine's inexperience. He'd offered to take her on his own, but she'd insisted she needed the practice.
He understood, yet his arms still ached to hold her as they rode. Wistfully he'd watched her swing up onto her horse. She seemed happy on it, abet nervous at being on top of such a beast again.
They walked up and down the winding hills, thin, nearly dead grass waved merrily from between dark stones in the cold wind even though there'd been a heavy frost that morning.
Christine's face turned pink in the icy cold wind as they walked, it pressed against Erik too. But the smile that filled her face warmed him to the core.
They rode for the hour and a half until they came to the beach. Christine swung off her horse, she handed off her reigns to Erik before running to feel the salty water. She unbuttoned her sleeves, bringing them up and touched the rolling waves up on the beach, her eyes sparkled in delight.
Erik glanced around them, his hand touching his sword before he swung off his horse. He tied the horses to a nearby branch trapped under a particularly large rock. The horses neighed, he ran his gloved hands over their necks to calm them before going to join his wife.
"It feels wonderful." Christine said, when she saw Erik standing behind her. "I feel as if I could swim in it and go on and on." She stared off to the horizon, her face suddenly serious. "What do you suppose it on the other side?" She asked. "If the world is round, as some people say, there must be something on the other side."
"Cathay, I suppose." Erik murmured. "No one has sailed far enough to know."
"I wonder if anyone will someday."
Erik chuckled, watching her sober face. "I'm sure someone will. Humans are very curious creatures." He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "They must always know what it on the other side."
Her lovely face turned to him. "Yes, I suppose." Then to his surprise she began to undress, working the rest of the buttons at her sleeve, pulling off her outer dress.
"What are you doing?" He asked, aghast.
"I'm going to swim in the water." She said. "I mustn't do it after I eat, so I'm doing it now."
He stopped her from unwinding her wimple. "The water is freezing." He warned.
She grinned. "No colder than Sweden's in my childhood, the sun will dry me off. Don't worry about me, I'm a very good swimmer."
So he let her strip herself down to her shift before she dived into the water with a skill that surprised him. He began to unpack the horses while she enjoyed herself in the water.
"Erik!" She called, as he carried their lunch down the beach near where her clothes were left. "You must join me, come!"
He only tapped the mask before sitting down to watch her. She had taken her hair down from their usual style and had braided it down her back, it flung from side to side like a whip as she battled the waves. Once an enormous, strong wave pushed her back nearly to the beach. Erik rose to assist her, but she only laughed and ran into the waves again.
It was lucky that no many came to the beach this time of year, or they would have seen a very odd sight indeed. A masked man watching a nearly nude woman playing in the sea like child.
It was over two hours before she tired of her play. She ran up to Erik, her legs trembling from so much exercise. She fell next to him, laying in the cold sand, staring at the cloudless blue sky. "The sea is wonderful." She panted. "I love it, thank you!" She said, smiling as if he owned the sea and had given it to her. He smiled back, before remembering that she couldn't see.
Suddenly he had a very strange urge. He wished to tear off his mask, kiss her smiling lips, and then carry her back into the water so that he might enjoy it with her. The urge was so strong, the vision so clear in his mind it took nearly all of his willpower to resist.
A monster. He reminded himself. She will leave you, and you will never love again.
She didn't seem to notice his struggle, she still preoccupied with the sky above her. "So much of the world is blue." She said philosophically. "Blue sea, blue sky. The world is filled with it." She sat up. "What food do we have?" She asked.
The vision dimmed as she ate the food they'd brought. Rich brown bread, since she liked it better than the fine white bread most nobles ate. Apples, tarts, and a meat pie filled with duck.
It dimmed farther as she turned away so that he might eat what little he wanted. He watched her carefully, but her face showed no sign of turning.
He felt a hole inside him as he watched her, a hole that vision could fill. But he was too scared to cling too it, too scared it might seep into reality. So it let it slip away, even as the hole inside him grew.
They were silent for a time, watching the sea crash up against the shore, before falling back into it's depths. They moved up the beach as the tide came in. Christine squeezed more water out of her braid, and she spoke.
"I'm pregnant."
Everything froze, whether from joy or fear he did not know. Everything seemed silent, he tried to speak, but he only croaked. Christine smiled merrily at him before going back to drying her hair.
"A baby?" He managed to gasp out, and suddenly he could hear the water again. "So soon?"
"I know." Christine shrugged, tossing her braid behind herself. "We've barely been married three months. But it's been two months since my last cycle. Lady Giry told me some early signs and I'm fairly sure."
"H-how?"
"I'm fairly sure you know how."
Erik was silent. A child, of course. It was partly what he had married her for, but so soon... He shook himself. "Forgive if I do not seem as happy as I should..." He said, realizing how silly he must sound.
Christine silenced him. "Lady Giry told me not to expect too much. She says men are always too shocked to be happy." And then she laughed, her voice dancing around him. He wished she would sing.
She began dressing herself, her shift finally dry enough, occasionally she asked for Erik's help. While he was buttoning up her sleeve, she commented. "I won't fit into these clothes soon. Pity."
He was silent, thinking of children and babies and long cold nights where he could not sleep with her in his arms because a babe would need her. He finished her sleeve. She helped him pack up what they had brought.
They talked little on the way back to the castle. Christine hadn't covered her hair again, the loose curls in her hair flew freely, drying with the salt of the sea in them. She made an off comment about a bath to clean it off on the way back, but he didn't answer.
Lady Giry greeted them when they arrived at the castle, whisking Christine away so that she might clean herself of the salt from the sea.
He sat in his room for the rest of the evening, working through more papers. He wrote a letter to his various lands on what to plant, and where, and when. He checked over his accounting books. His hands trembled, and finally he gave up trying with papers and ran down to the courtyard.
The soldiers where done with their morning training, but he worked away with his sword against invisible opponents, fighting around the courtyard, ignoring those that watched his passionate battles. Eventually a few of his knights joined him, and he dueled them fiercely, first one on one, then two against him, and then three. He fought them as if they were the feelings that plagued him and he won again and again, until finally they left for their supper. Erik continued on alone.
When his arm trembled from holding his sword, when sweat dripped from every inch of him, and the sun was setting behind him, he stopped. He threw his practice sword into it's place in the armory and went to the bathhouse. Jules had a bath ready for him, and he soaked in it for an hour, letting the water grow cold around him before he finally washed himself and came out of the room.
He went to his room, slammed the door behind him, and started when he saw Christine waiting for him on his bed.
She had a new robe now, a beautiful light blue one that suited her well. Her brown eyes were earnest as they looked at him. "Are you alright? You missed our chess match." She said calmly, as if he had not run off and left her again.
He was being horrid, he knew it. He should be happy for her, for them. He sat next to her, she touched his shoulder. "What is upsetting you?" She asked.
"I- I will miss you." He chocked out finally.
Christine blinked, and then smiled gently. "I'm not dying Erik." Her hand slid across his shoulders, she hugged him a little. "I'm going to be fine."
He did not have the courage to tell her that for eight long months he would not be able to call her to his bedside, for he no longer had the excuse of wanting an heir. It wasn't even the love they shared that night, only that she was warm and soft in his arms, and he would miss it. Miss hearing her breath slowly as she slept. Miss brushing her hair from her face while humming ballads of love in her name.
"Could... could you close your eyes?" He asked weakly.
She gave him a look that warned him not to be silly, but followed his request.
He checked that she truly could not see him, then he slipped his mask up and kissed her like he'd been longing to all day.
For a moment, everything was perfect, the way her arms circled around his neck, her hum of pleasure, his leaping joy.
But then they parted, and everything was wrong again. She waited patiently for him to tell her to open her eyes again, her cheeks rosy and a smile teasing at her lips. He slid the mask back down over his face, and in an odd emotionless voice he did not know he had he told her that he was very happy at her news, and that she had better go sleep now.
She left, looking back at him just before she opened the door to leave, but he did not call her back.
When the door closed and her steps faded, he tore off the mask and threw it against the wall, the porcelain shattering into a thousand small pieces. He blew out the few candles she had lit, curled up on his bed, and tried to sleep.
Well, that was a long chapter! Whew! Hope you guys like it, even if Erik is a little upset over the pregnancy! He's upset because he feels like he shouldn't call her to his room because he's well, you know, deformed. The excuse he made for himself before was that he needed an heir, but not that she's pregnant, he can't make that excuse anymore, so now he feels that he can't call for her anymore and he'sa gonna miss her. ;)
Also, to the panicky reader. It's okay. I'm not feeling pressure, just wanted to reassure you. :D
Reviews make authors happy. :) What do you think of Erik's feelings.
