~.*~*~*.~

Him

~.*~*~*.~

Ladybug stood upon the Arc de Triomphe like a general in war, snowflakes dissolving into the red of her suit. Her yo-yo spun circles in her hand, her hair whipped in the winter wind and the mountains seemed too small a background.

Chat Noir was sure he'd never grow used to the chills that accompanied these moments. When she stood, unaware of how powerful she was and her blue eyes cast back to him, wondering why he wasn't by her side.

"Admiring the view," he said and she took it like a question, finally allowing the yo-yo to relax back into her grip.

"I was hoping for more of one to be honest." She sighed, plopping down on the French monument like a child, criss-cross applesauce. Leaning back, hands on stone, she blew out a puff of frustrated air. "There's no sign of anyone."

Chat Noir rose to the top of the arch on his staff and took in the view.

"I have a leaf in my hair, don't I?" Ladybug asked, tugging at her pigtail.

"You got it," he lied. Flushing, he tucked his staff into his belt and finally turned to the mountains.

She had been the one to spot (hehe, spot) the Arc de Triomphe while they had hiked through the woods in their Marinette™ hoodies. It had nearly blended into the snow and rock, just a hint of Paris among the wilderness, lost despite the victories carved into its sides. They had to transform to make it there. What was a hike up treacherous cliffs for mere mortals was a quick vault and swing for superheroes.

The mountain still stretched tall above them, disappearing into the clouds. Below was the vast expanse of the forest, with bits of Paris peeking through.

The vineyards and their cottage still sat in the distance, waiting for them.

"I guess it's back to Plan A then?" he asked, peeking at her.

Ladybug gave a nod. "We have to get out of here."

"We will." He held out his hand for her to take.

She did and took him in. "You know what's funny?"

He rose a brow beneath his mask. "No?"

"That you're the optimistic one." She didn't quite smile. "Aren't you supposed to be bad luck?"

A smirk slipped into the side of Chat Noir's cheek, considering the irony of that statement. He nearly said her own words back.

If only you knew me.

And somehow it felt like she could read him in that moment, that she could see the quick succession of memories that played through his mind as her fingers stayed draped over his.

"Never did understand that superstition," he said, letting go of her hand to pull his staff back out of his belt. With a quick turn it expanded and he leaned on it, wagging his brows under his mask. "How can an animal with nine lives be bad luck?"

"Good point." And her smile creeped into something more playful. "What about one that always lands on its feet?"

Her finger found his nose and her eyes lit so brightly that, for just a moment, he forgot everything but her. His foot went backwards and the only thing that saved him from proving her wrong was the grace of the black cat.

He gave a flip off the side of the Arc de Triomphe and followed her laughter down the mountainside and through the trees.

They were both covered in snow by the time they reached the vineyards.

The grape vines, which had browned in the winter, had become ropes of white, weaving along crystal fences.

Chat Noir shook snow from his hair and dusted off the shoulders of his suit when they came together, waiting awkwardly beneath the shelter of the cottage roof after Ladybug had knocked.

"Hello?" she called.

Chat Noir pressed his mouth in the crack of the door. "Just a couple of strays looking for a phone."

Ladybug pulled him back by the tail. "Don't be creepy."

"What was creepy about that? Everyone loves a stray kitten." Retrieving his tail, he leaned his back against the door, and gave it an offended rub. "Bugs on the other hand…"

She rolled her eyes. "I beg to differ. Once you feed a cat, it never leaves."

"That is… not untrue."

Ladybug looked into the window with a sigh and dusted snow from her bangs. "I don't think anyone lives here."

Cracking his knuckles, Chat Noir gave a grin. "You know what this means?"

"Don't."

"Some good ol' fashion cat burglaring."

She groaned. "Just try not to break anything."

Chat Noir pulled his staff from his belt and gave it a dramatic twirl before extending himself to the roof. He peered down at her with a wink.

"I'll try to limit myself to breaking in."

Shooting her a two-finger salute, he scrambled over the thatched roof to a second story window. With a quick swipe of his claws against old dried paint, it snapped open.

"Minimal breaking required!" he shouted.

"Just be careful in there."

The window creaked as he lifted it enough to stick his head inside. "Oh wow," he cooed. "We hit the wino jackpot."

The cottage seemed to be more of a store house than a home. The second story room was filled with stacks of chairs, folded tables and wine paraphernalia. Through the open door he could see through the banister to the first story which housed an array of barrels and bottles, all neatly stored away and aging.

"There's no people?" Ladybug asked.

Poking his head back out, Chat Noir's ears lowered. "Looks pretty dead."

"A phone?"

"Gimme a minute."

He squeezed through the small slat of the window, wondering if it was his frame or the magic of the suit that helped him fit. The cottage smelled oaky and tangy, like wood and wine with a bit of the mildew that came with a home left closed for too long. He crept along the stacked furniture and felt the floorboards squeak under his boots.

The walls were made of stone and plaster, and the roof was held up with wood beams covered in dust. Venturing down the narrow staircase, he found an antique table covered in papers. He grabbed one as he made his way to the front door to let Ladybug in.

Relaxing against the frame, he turned the knob and tapped claws against his chin.

"Might I suggest the Pinot Noir? Hints of cherry, vanilla, with just a note of...mushroom? Weird. Says it has a medium body...well, I'd describe it more as fine, but that might just be my bias talking."

Ladybug grabbed the pamphlet from his hand, stepping inside. "Great. It says they're only open seasonally."

"Probably tough to get all the way out here for wine-tasting in the winter," Chat said, letting her inside. "Looks like there's a phone by the register in the back."

Ladybug immediately stormed past him, finding the corded phone hanging on the wall. She brought it to her ear and looked near tears.

"There's a dial tone," she breathed.

"Who should we call?"

"The police?" Ladybug seemed unsure. "I feel dumb."

"Hey, even superheroes need help sometimes."

"Okay." She took a deep breath and dialed the emergency number. After a moment her face went into action mode. "Yes, hi, this is Ladybug and Chat Noir—yes, the Ladybug—we're lost— no, it's not a prank—please, we need—look, we've been stuck in the woods for nearly two days now, I'm not—no, don't get Philipe!"

Chat Noir stepped behind the counter and gestured for her to share the mouthpiece. "This is Chat Noir, listen we just need a ride—"

Laughter burst from the phone and Chat looked at Ladybug in shock.

She pressed the phone back to her face, hands gesturing so wildly they got caught in the cord.

"Just check the news in Paris, there's got to be—no, this isn't a prank!" she snapped. "We're lost! Please just send someone out—no, I don't know where we are, that's what lost means!"

Chat leaned in and she automatically angled the phone so their ears could share the receiver.

"Look kids, this is an emergency number," the voice over the line was saying. "If you call playing superheroes again, we're going to send out the police."

"That's what we want you to do!" Ladybug shouted so loudly that Chat felt her spit on his cheek.

And then there was a click and the dial tone ringing in their ears.

"Wow…" he said. "Well, that was—"

Ladybug turned to look at him, the phone the only thing between them.

He took a sharp step backward, rubbing her saliva from his face. "Wanna try a cab?"

"I can't believe they didn't believe us!"

Chat Noir pulled himself up to sit on the countertop. "Maybe they think the akuma defeated us?"

"No. No no no no," she cried. "Someone had to notice pieces of Paris just appearing in the forest! This isn't possible. What kind of first responders do they have out here? Do they even have cabs in the boonies? The road is made of gravel. Gravel, Chat!"

"We could follow it?"

They looked out the window and saw that the snow had picked up so much that they could see nothing but white.

"Okay, maybe not a good idea right now. They said if we called again, they'd send the police."

So Ladybug did.

The response was literally the same.

"I sound exactly like her because I am her!"

Chat Noir explored as the conversation continued and after a while, couldn't help himself.

"Do you think they have any cheese to go with that whine?" he asked.

"Squirt bottle!"

He chuckled, watching as she slammed the phone into the receiver not once, but three times in order to hang up on the laughter emitting from the other end. And when she was finally done throwing her temper-tantrum, he held up two wine glasses, flipping them in his hands like a showy bartender. Setting them on the counter, he took out a bottle and twisted a claw into the cork.

"Not sure it squirts."

"Bad kitty."

"Good kitty."

Later, after the sun had set, a thick blanket of snow covered the ground outside the cottage window. It seemed brighter than it should have, the moon glowing through thick clouds and reflecting on the fluffly flakes falling to the earth.

Fire flickered in the fireplace, the long tasting table was covered with snacks from Ladybug's yo-yo, and a new sort of laughter filled the cottage.

"You had me at merlot," Ladybug was saying, reaching her glass across the table for Chat Noir to refill.

Grinning, he emptied the last of the bottle, belt-tail swinging content behind him. "You're my reisling to live."

Snorting, she put the glass to her lips. "Put a cork in it."

"No way, rosé."

"I'd rather have a catbernet."

Chat Noir's hand flew to his heart. "Aw, LB, are you flirting with me?"

Ladybug gave a very undignified snort.

"Because you are speaking my language."

"You never give up, do you, Kitty?"

Her blue eyes peered at him over the wine glass and he wanted to tell her the truth. That he never could, that even if he was nothing more than her friend forever he would never stop loving her.

His smile grew soft as he took another sip of wine and his miraculous let out a very timely beep. He leaned a cheek on his hand and felt the cool ring pressing against his hot skin.

Ladybug rubbed her face with her palms. "I've never had more than a glass before. Do you think Tikki will notice?"

"Probably." Chat Noir gave a shrug, shoulders too loose. "Not worried about Plagg, though. Once my father left half a bottle in the sitting room and Plagg decided to finish it. He spent the rest of the night sitting in boxes and making a bed out of toilet paper, so he doesn't have a lot of room to talk."

For a second, Ladybug just stared at him. He started to wonder what he had said wrong when she giggled into her wine glass.

"I would pay to see Plagg drunk."

"Maybe you'll get your chance."

"If he's drunk when you transform, would you be drunk as Chat Noir?"

"I think I'm a little drunk now."

She laughed again. "We are the worst superheroes ever."

"Au contraire, Ladybug. You are"—he flung a sloppy claw her direction— "the best superhero I've ever known."

"What about Ryuko?"

Ladybug's earrings blinked and she let out a single giggle into the rim of her glass.

Chat Noir rubbed the back of his neck as his ring beeped again.

"You like her," she said. "At least a little. It's okay, you know."

"I know," he said, suddenly feeling the wine weighing him down. He took another long drink, not daring to look at her glassy eyes.

"The boy I… he's in love with someone else too."

Chat Noir felt the magic release from his skin the moment he turned to her and for the first time he watched her transform. Red stardust seemed to explode around her, disintegrating until there was nothing more than a girl.

The hood of her spotted Marinette™ sweatshirt was pulled over her pigtails and the two little antennas bobbed adorably over her head. The leather mask had gone askew on her face, so just a bit of her dark brow peeked through the eyehole. Her fingernails were round and short and painted pink, still wrapped around the stem of her glass.

"Oh boy," snickered Plagg. "When the cat's away—"

"The multimouse will play," giggled the girl that was Ladybug.

"You've been drinking?" Tikki asked, buzzing between them looking like a tiny red mother hen.

"Chat's fault," Ladybug said even though she was in the middle of taking another sip.

Adrien pointed toward the window, feeling defensive now that Tikki seemed to be singling him out. He hated disappointing her. "We're snowed in."

"If I ever say I want to move to the country, remind me of this moment," said Ladybug, lowering her face into folded arms with a groan.

"Is there cheese?" asked Plagg.

"Seriously?" said Adrien, adjusting the homemade mask to make sure it was still there.

"When have I ever joked about cheese?"

"I saw something moldy in the refrigerator."

"The moldier the better," Plagg sighed and immediately disappeared around the corner and phased through the fridge.

"Gross," chirped Tikki. Then, shooting another stink eye toward Adrien, she settled onto the crease of Ladybug's elbow. "Are you okay?"

There was a muffled whine before she answered.

"I'm a failure!"

"Oh no," cackled Plagg. "She's already entered Phase II."

Ladybug moved her hand and, with a quick sharp throw, just missed hitting the chewing kwami with a peanut.

"What?" he asked, tossing a chunk of moldy cheese down his throat. "Wine has only two modes: up or down. She is clearly on the downswing."

"You're not a failure," Tikki was cooing, giving Ladybug's dark hair a pat when she sank back into her arms.

"I can't even get us out of the freakin woods, Tikki!"

"You get us out of the woods all the time," said Adrien. He forced his best Chat-like grin even though her words were still weighing him down.

Ryoko, Kagami, and the boy Ladybug loved who loved someone else.

"Not literally!" she cried, throwing her naked hands into the air. "I cannot get us out of the literal woods."

When she flopped back down into her crossed arms, Tikki gave Adrien a look that could kill.

"This was a mutual decision," he said, shaking his nearly drained glass at her.

Plagg floated down, landing on Ladybug's hood. "Cheese usually does the trick," he said, putting the bitten piece in front of her folded arms. "Want some?"

"You're so sweet," cried Ladybug, peeking out of her arms to give Plagg an affectionate pat with her finger.

Adrien rose a brow and took another sip of his wine.

"What if the akuma showed up right now?" asked Tikki. "How are you two going to fight in this condition?"

"Why so serious, Sweettooth?" Plagg nuzzled up to her side, still nursing his cheese. "Let the kids have a break for once."

"But —"

"I spied some lovely moscato that is calling your name," sang Plagg. "Tikki, Tikki! Drink me. I taste delightful with a raspberry macaron."

And then Tikki was being dragged away by the cat kwami, who Adrien swore shot him a finger gun.

"Plagg."

"One glass and you'll be calling me kitten."

"You know my favorite macaron is vanilla."

"Such a basic bug."

The two kwamis phased into the cellar on the other side of the wall.

Ladybug let out a loud snort. "He called her basic."

"He watches a lot of reality TV."

She covered her laughter with her hands, and her giggles nearly melted Adrien into the floor. He could feel his smile pulling his cheeks even though they were numb.

"Come here," she said, patting the seat on the end of the table.

Adjusting the hood over his hair, he obliged and took his wine glass with him. He sat just as she lifted hers.

"To us," she said. "The dumbest dumb super heroes ever."

His glass clinked against hers. "You know I only agree with half that statement."

Ladybug nudged his shin with her shoe and Adrien couldn't help but notice her adorable pink flats and bare ankles. He had to try very hard not to think about how they seemed familiar.

His eyes quickly flickered up, heat drawing across his wine-flushed cheeks.

"Kagami has a boyfriend."

He paled as Ladybug shifted over her glass, disappearing under her hood. "Huh?"

"Adrien Agreste."

Heart racing, Adrien took a long drink.

"You know him. The model all over the billboards?"

His shoulders gave a tense shrug.

"I saw them kissing," she said, sounding much too sad, and just as he began to wonder, her eyes appeared again, looking into his. "I just don't want to see you hurt."

"I don't think they —" he started, thinking of the kiss that hadn't quite happened and stopped, remembering he shouldn't know that. "I mean, I'm not —you don't?"

"I know how it feels to see the person you love love someone else…" she said, voice going strangely soft. "I just don't want to see you go through that again."

"I don't love Kagami, Ladybug."

"I, I know, I mean I didn't think, well, I did think, obviously I have thoughts about you — it! —about things! I can think. I'm thinking." Her hand slid over her mask, fingernails digging under the edge. "Ugh, stop." She took a long, deep breath and slapped her cheeks with her palms.

"Why am I like this?" she groaned. "I just saw how you looked at her..."

His chest ached, watching the way she faltered over her words, the way the wine had made her so soft and so torn from her duty and, for maybe the first time, he saw her as just a girl. One who really cared about him, even if she didn't love him back.

"It's okay," he said, forcing a smile at her. "I'm fine."

"Chat...I'm sorry."

Adrien let his knee nudge hers. "Don't be."

"I'm sorry I can't, even if he doesn't, I still —"

He held up a hand to stop her. "Just let me say one thing, okay?"

She gave a nod.

"That boy you love. He's an idiot."

She pouted, her bottom lip jutting out. "You're an idiot."

Adrien couldn't help but smile. "Your idiot."

"God, Chat Noir."

"Yes?"

"How can you just say things like that?"

He gave a shrug and drained the last of his wine. His head felt full and fuzzy.

"I wish I was brave like you."

He watched as her hands curled into the sleeves of her Marinette™ sweatshirt until he could see nothing but the tips of her pink fingernails.

"You are brave," he whispered.

"Only when I have to be."

Adrien stared as she seemed to shrink under fabric, nearly disappearing from view. "You really don't know how amazing you are, do you?"

Ladybug gave an appreciative sound, but she continued to make herself small and soon she was nothing but pigtails peeking out of a hood.

He reached forward, batting one like a kitten until she showed her eyes again. "Come on, bugaboo. You know I can do this all night." He flashed her his best model smile and his voice broke into song.

"You… are… amaaazing. Yoohoo... are…"

She sat up straight. "Stop yowling at me."

Grinning he went on, continuing to bat at her pigtails. "Sooo...clawver. You've got a meowvelous purrsonality. Yoou… are soooo mew-tiful to meee."

Her palm leaned against the edge of his chair and she said, in a voice far too soft, "You are… so weird, Chat Noir."

"I'm sorry," he breathed. "I just have… so many cat puns."

The soft chuckle that started on his lips quickly died away as hers drew close. Her hand reached out of her sweatshirt to scratch under his chin.

"Silly kitty."

Adrien felt his heart leap into his throat, a shiver rising from deep in his gut. He instinctively leaned into her touch and her soft fingertips traced up his jaw. They slid along the tie of his mask until she met the curve of his ear.

His hood slid back.

When had Ladybug ever looked at him like that before?

Like she saw something new.

A sort of glassy haze covered the blue of her eyes as they searched him. The rose of her flushed cheeks grew stronger and he could smell the wine on her lips.

Was she going to kiss him? Oh god, she was going to kiss him.

And, unlike the million of other times he'd been tricked into letting a fake Ladybug draw him in, his finger flew to her nose, just the gentlest of boops to hold her back.

With a sharp laugh that seemed to startle them both, Adrien jumped to his feet, knocking his chair sideways.

"I should go. I need to go, I mean. To... to the litterbox, ha! Cat pun!"

Ladybug seemed to come to her senses, something brightening through the haze of alcohol in her eyes.

"Oh! Super punny," she squeaked. "The punniest. I'll just go freak out—bug out! Use the bug box. Over somewhere else." She pulled her hood over her head and hissed, "Tikki!"

Adrien scurried up the old staircase so quickly that the weight of the wine finally made its appearance, making the search for the bathroom an eventful experience. The floor felt like an ocean beneath his feet, the walls like waves.

He finally found a bathroom tucked into the corner of a storage room and immediately bent over the ancient sink. It sputtered old stinky well water into his hands and he splashed it over his face, cursing when he remembered the mask.

Frustrated, he untied it and tried to dry the leather off on his jeans, furious with himself for ruining Marinette's hard work. He carefully set the mask over the towel rack and ran wet hands over his cheeks, rubbing feeling back into them.

He leaned his forearms over the sink, sputtering water and spitting out the taste of wine.

When he finally gained some sort of traction over his balance, he lifted his head and saw his reflection in a gold-rimmed mirror.

The hood hung down on his back and his hair was tossled, but still neatly gelled. The same gloss that had covered Ladybug's eyes when she'd looked at him was reflected in his own.

"Stupid," he told himself.

He wasn't sure exactly why he thought so. For stopping her. For starting. For letting it get that far when she still loved someone else.

"Ugh." He rubbed his eyes over and over with his fingertips until the whites were red and little black specks floated in his vision.

One of them spoke.

"Adrien! You need to transform!"

He blinked to clear his eyes and the spot became Plagg.

"What? Why? Is it the akuma, is Ladybug—"

"The police just pulled up to the house and you two told them Ladybug and Chat Noir were here. Imagine the headlines if they find Ladybug and Adrien Agreste instead!"

"Okay, okay." Adrien rubbed his face. "Plagg, I think I messed up…"

"Don't worry about it, kid."

He didn't have the heart to ask if they were talking about the same thing.

"Claws out."

Magic fluttered over his skin, covering him in black and when Adrien looked in the mirror again, Chat Noir stared back at him, the red in his eyes subdued by a bright reflective green.

Out the window, he caught sight of a large police vehicle, fitted with a snow plow on the bumper. Heavy snowflakes reflected in its headlights, falling speedily to the earth.

"Chat Noir?" Ladybug called from below.

He didn't feel nearly as tipsy as he had a moment ago, the reality of everything sobering him. He still stumbled down the staircase with a particular lack of grace and tried to play it off when he caught the sight of Ladybug fully transformed, standing between two policemen.

"Look who decided to come," she said, voice flat and annoyed. The table they had been lounging at had been miraculously cleared of snacks and empty wine bottles and she looked every bit the responsible superhero.

Chat Noir tried his best not to look surprised. "Looks like we're finally gonna get out of the woods afterall, LB."

"Oh you're not out of the woods yet," said the police officer, pen clicking at what looked like a stack of tickets. "Breaking and entering? Stealing." The man pointed to a wine bottle rolling under the table. "How old are you, anyway?"

"Wait a minute, sir. You're barking up the wrong tree."

"Chat," scolded Ladybug.

He would not look at her, he refused to look at her.

"We really need to get back to Paris and defeat that akuma." His hands twisted, claws upturned in a gesture of surrender. "Can't we just leaf this little misunderstanding behind us?"

"See?" said Ladybug. "We're the real thing, Officer. I mean, no one is as atrocious at puns as Chat Noir."

He finally whipped around and took her in, that bright twinkle in her eye, as if nothing had changed between them.

"That's true," said the other officer.

Chat Noir turned back around. "Hey! My puns are wood!"

"Oh. My. God. No."

The cat ears immediately went flat on his head. "Oh… oh no, you're right. They aren't wood… they're catastrophic."

"Just get in the squad car."