~.*~*~*.~

Her

~.*~*~*.~

After an aggravating interrogation, the ride in the back of the police car was quiet.

The only sounds were slippery gravel clicking beneath the tires and the static of the radio as the two men confirmed with the station that they were "pretty sure they're the real thing" and that "they look a lot younger in person."

They were in the Alps after all, north of the border of Italy and the famous Mont Blanc. No one had seen the akuma since they had disappeared, but bits and pieces of Paris continued to go missing, growing trees in their stead. People had lost their homes. A few had gone missing.

Most people had begun to fear Ladybug and Chat Noir had finally met their doom.

Snow continued to fall in fluffy sheets before the headlights, leaving Ladybug feeling like she was encased in a snowglobe. One that kept being shaken over and over again.

This was a disaster. She was a disaster. Oh God she really needed to be alone with Tikki so she could assume the appropriate freak out.

Now that the police weren't staring her down like a kid in a costume, she was not holding it together. She wasn't holding anything. She was definitely going to lose it.

Ladybug let out the tiniest of panicked squeals before doubling over her knees.

"Are you okay?"

She looked up.

Chat Noir literally could not take up any less space. He had somehow pressed himself flat against the door and pulled out the seatbelt across his chest like it was a shield between them. His cat ears laid low in his hair as he watched her with those big kitten eyes, waiting for an answer.

She could almost smack him for being so sad and cute at the same time.

How dare he?

She closed her eyes with a groan and tasted wine in the back of her throat.

Visions of white started popping into her head. She looked out the window and cold blue stared back from the snowflakes.

Somewhere through the snow and black sky she saw Paris under water.

It was our love that did this to the world, M'Lady.

Why did loving Chat Noir mean the end of the world?

She had almost kissed him. With his stupid cat eared hoodie and his stupid green eyes and his stupid sweet smile and his stupid model hair. And all his stupid words. When she had looked at him then in her tipsy haze, heart bursting from all the moments that had led them there, from a trust and love that went far beyond romance… she wanted to.

She wanted to forget Chat Blanc and her responsibilities and know the boy beneath the mask, the incorrigible flirt who made dumb puns and arranged candles on rooftops for her.

Was that what made her lean in, tracing the outline of the mask behind his ear?

Or was it how, without the magic, she swore she saw Adrien under his hood?

Her eyelids burned, pricking heat building in the corners.

Was she really that desperate for a love she couldn't attain? Why couldn't she just let Adrien go? Why did it hurt so much to know she should?

How could she use her kitty like that?

Why didn't he let her?

Her heart slammed into her sternum. Shame welled into a bubble and a gross gurgle popped into her throat.

"Um…can we pull over?" asked Chat Noir.

The policeman in the passenger seat looked over his shoulder through the bars. "What for?"

"I think she's gonna puke."

The car immediately slowed and the lurch of the vehicle almost brought everything up right there in the seat.

After a panicked struggle with the lock, Ladybug stumbled out of the police car with Chat Noir scrambling over the backseat behind her.

She heaved wine and shame, dirtying the freshly fallen snow.

A hand fell between her shoulder blades, giving her back a rub.

"Wow, that's... a lot of wine. Did you eat Plagg's cheese?"

With a sob, she heaved again.

Gentle claws slipped against the side of her scalp holding back the pieces of hair that had come loose from her pigtails.

Ladybug thought for a moment that her mortification would never end and she swore she would never drink again, that she was the worst for drinking when Paris thought Hawkmoth had won, she was so gross, no wonder Chat Noir didn't want to kiss her.

"You think I didn't want to?"

Oh no, no no no. Did she say that out loud?

She covered her eyes, rubbing away tears before he could see. She needed to undo this.

"Ladybug?"

And she knew in that moment exactly how, in a world where she didn't remember Adrien, she could have fallen for Chat Noir. Under all the cocky silliness, he cared so, so much.

She had thought about Oblivio and that stupid picture a thousand times, mostly in the heavy guise of denial. But ever since fighting Chat Blanc, in that timeline that existed where he knew her as Marinette, where even with her memories of Adrien they had…

She couldn't let that happen.

"I barked," she rasped.

Chat Noir was still holding her hair. "What?"

She wiped her mouth. "I barked all over the snow."

"I see that." He only seemed slightly amused. "Are you seriously making tree puns right now? How much wine did you drink?"

"The same amount as you." Her throat was on fire and her voice ravaged. She swallowed and smoothed her hair when he let it go. "I think the car got to me. These gravel roads are the worst."

"Are you going to be okay?"

She gave a weak nod and had to bite back a fresh round of tears. "How are you okay?" she asked when she managed to stand up straight.

"Maybe my body's more used to it. I get dragged to a lot of events—"

"Don't," Ladybug warned.

He apologized and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. Snowflakes spotted his hair and the shoulders of his black suit were already dusted white.

"I'm bigger?" he suggested instead and gave her a soft smile. "Poor little beetle."

She wiped snot from her nose. "Are you mad at me?"

"What?" Chat Noir's tail flicked and his cat ears went straight. "No."

"You called me beetle." Tears sprung into her eyes again and she had to stifle a fresh sob. Curse alcohol.

"Hey, hey… I'm not mad. Please don't cry, bugaboo."

"Don't call me beetle."

"Okay, I won't. I'm sorry." And then he drooped, sad-catting all over the place.

Exhausted and guilt ridden, Ladybug leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his middle, trying to squeeze the sad out.

He flopped over her. "I'm sorry about the wine."

"Me too."

The rest went unspoken.

It took over an hour to arrive at the police station. Ladybug spent the entire ride hunched over her knees, slowly sipping on a bottle of water Chat Noir held for her.

When the policeman opened the door to let them out, he went on alert.

"Wait, why are we stopping here? We need to get back to Paris."

"Paris is more than a twelve hour drive from here." The officer who had been driving stroked a mustache. "That's way out of our jurisdiction."

"Who cares about jurisdictions? France is in danger!" Chat Noir snapped. "Don't you guys have a private jet we can use?"

The policeman gave a snort while the other burst into laughter. "Who do you think we are?"

Ladybug's heart raced, staring as Chat Noir went red in the face, embarrassed.

"A helicopter?" he asked instead, sounding sheepish.

"They're usually reserved for search & rescues."

"We need to rescue Paris!" Chat Noir's tail flicked angrily even though his face was still red. "Hawkmoth isn't going to stop until he finds us."

"Hold tight, kid. There's red tape to get through."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"It's okay, Chat Noir," Ladybug said quietly. "Let them do their job. Paris will hold until we get there."

He turned to her, still flushed and the cat ears went flat against his head. She swore for a second he was going to hiss.

"Let's just rest in the station until we can figure this out," she said, feeling nearly a million times better now that they weren't moving. "I need a minute."

He went soft at that. "Okay. You aren't going to bark again are you?"

She let out a chuckle. "I knew you'd like that one. No, I think it was mostly the motion."

Chat Noir gave a small nod as they followed the police into the station.

Inside, it was quiet. Nothing like the stations in Paris with their constant activity. The men and women working stared at them in amazement while the policemen who brought them in pointed out a bench and told them to hang tight.

Hair still coated in snow, Chat Noir grumpily took a seat and, without thinking, Ladybug ran her fingers over his head to dust it away.

His cat ear twitched under her palm and he went red all over again. "You sure you're good?"

She pulled her hand back and sat beside him before she started to scratch his chin. "Mmhm."

Fidgety, he grabbed his belt tail, twisting it in his lap. "This is dumb."

She leaned backwards, closing her eyes. "Not as dumb as wine."

"I'm really sorry. I thought-"

She batted a hand in his direction. "Stop apologizing. I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions."

"I wasn't saying-"

"I'm just having some serious regrets and voicing them out loud. Completely not for your benefit."

"Regrets?"

The crack in Chat Noir's voice made Ladybug's eyes pop open. His cat ears had gone back again and his eyes shifted as soon as she met them, falling to the twitching tail in his hands.

She could tell he desperately wanted to address the moment she was trying to avoid. It hurt, hurting him over and over. She tried to find something to say, but how could she explain about her heart and his and what would happen if he knew…

Swallowing, she opened her lips only to hear him gasp.

He was on his feet in one swift motion, stalking to the television on the wall. She swore if he really were a cat, hackles would have risen between his shoulder blades.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Marinette!"

Ladybug's heart stuttered to a stop. It took nearly a minute before she followed his gaze and found her parents on the television screen.

Relief swept over her for so many reasons.

She joined Chat Noir below the television, taking in the caption below her parent's faces.

Dozens reported missing in the absence of Ladybug and Chat Noir.

Tom and Sabine looked unnerved, but strong, and in the top right hand corner above them was a picture of Marinette.

"We haven't seen our daughter since the akuma first attacked," Tom was saying. "We are asking, pleading, that anyone with any information to please call the authorities so we can find our little girl."

"Of course." The camera zoomed out to show Nadia Chamack in the frame and behind them, the corner of the street the bakery should have stood on was now just a grove of trees. "This is the first time Ladybug and Chat Noir have disappeared during an akuma attack. Why-"

"They'll be back," Sabine interrupted before a question could emerge. "And they'll bring my daughter back."

Whatever words followed were muted by the look on Chat Noir's face when he turned to Ladybug, pupils wide and frightened in his mask.

"Marinette and dozens of people are missing," he said, guilt creeping into his voice, "and we…"

Her heart thumped, pounding until it reached her fingertips. "We'll get them back, Kitty. I promise."

She reached for his hand, taking his clenched fist and unwinding his fingers into hers.

I'm right here, she squeezed into his palm. I'm okay.

"The displacement of national monuments and homes may account for the number of missing persons, among them well-known teen model, Adrien Agreste."

Ladybug nearly squeezed off Chat Noir's hand when Adrien's face appeared on the screen and her thumping heart sunk into the pit of her stomach.

"Adrien…" she squeaked.

Chat Noir squeezed her hand back.

"His father, world famous fashion designer, Gabriel Agreste, was unavailable for comment."

Another squeeze.

Ladybug turned to her partner as his eyes glued to the screen, back tense and ears raised to take everything in. She felt sick again.

"Some theorize those missing may have gotten lost in the ever-changing landscape caused by the akuma," Nadia continued, "while others believe the missing persons have changed into landscape themselves. With Paris's beloved heroes nowhere to be found, the president has just declared a national state of emergency."

"The helicopter will be here in ten minutes," a voice came from behind them.

They both turned from the screen. The policeman who had picked them up seemed to look at them differently now, as if they were the ones about to give him orders instead of the other way around.

Ladybug dropped Chat Noir's hand. "We'll be ready," she said, making her voice as professional as possible. She straightened herself and tried to keep the emotion creeping onto her face at bay. "Can you point me to the restroom?"

"Ladybug?" asked Chat Noir.

"You should go too," she told him, keeping her voice steady. "Recharge."

He gave a nod, but his ears told another story.

Once she was in the bathroom and sure the stall was locked, Ladybug released her transformation. A glow surrounded her and Tikki spun into her vision.

"Are you okay?"

Marinette shook her head as she dug a macaron from the pocket of her Ladybug sweatshirt. She rubbed her makeshift mask to keep back the threat of tears.

"Adrien," she choked. "We have to get him back."

"I'm sure he's fine," said Tikki. "Once you defeat the akuma, everything will go back to normal."

"I'm terrible," Marinette cried. "He's missing, or hurt, or worse-what if he's a bush or a tree and I almost kissed Chat Noir?"

Tikki floated down to pat her cheek. "Let's just focus on getting back to Paris right now."

"I'm the worst Ladybug there ever was. I threw up! I let Adrien go missing and I tried to kiss Chat Noir. If he finds out I'm me and we… the world... I, Tikki, I…"

"Shhhh," the kwami soothed. "One step at a time, Marinette. And you are not the worst Ladybug, not even close."

Marinette gave her a skeptical scowl.

"Focus," Tikki repeated.

"Okay, fine." She took a deep breath. "Focused."

"And it wouldn't have been the first time you've kissed Chat Noir either."

"Tikki!" Marinette slammed her palms into her heat filled cheeks. "Not helping."

"I know. I'm not encouraging it, just trying to put things into perspective."

Her heart sunk. "Like the end of the world?"

"That was one timeline," said Tikki. "We've already moved past that point. But we can talk about that another time." She finally shoved the macaron into her mouth.

"He looks like Adrien," Marinette whispered. "When he's not transformed, his eyes..." She ran her fingers down her face. "Alya was right."

"But Adrien is way cooler, right?" Tikki said, grinning a little.

Marinette squished her cheeks between her hands. "Adrien doesn't even have to try." And then Chat Noir popped into her mind, flashing muscles and she giggled. "Unlike someone else. Why is that cute? I should not think Chat's showing off is cute right now."

"I blame Plagg for that."

"The showing off or the cute?" Marinette asked, happy to tease her kwami, despite the blush still rising in her cheeks.

"Both. But they both make sense for Chat Noir too."

Marinette felt her heart stop and her hands dropped from her face. "That's right… sometimes I forget you know who he is."

Then her mind raced, wondering how Tikki would know what Chat Noir was like in his civilian life unless she had a chance to get to know him…

"Stop," she scolded herself.

"I'm ready," said Tikki.

"Spots on."

Ladybug didn't have the liberty to think of such things at a time like this.