Chapter 18: Panic
Over the next couple of weeks, Heidi continued to train with Levi to master activating and deactivating her controlled berserker state more efficiently.
Heidi maneuvered from tree to tree using her 3DMG with expert speed and agility,with humanity's strongest soldier hot on her tail. She reached a break in the forest line where a path to the castle cut through. The gap across the road was twice the length of their gear's grappling line. She had nowhere to go. Levi was upon her in an instant. Heidi's eyes widened as his blade swung towards her neck, and her pupils dilated. The berserk Heidi immediately released the grappling hook embedded in the tree and managed to avoid being scalped by a hair as she used a burst of gas to hurl herself down. Levi plummeted after her, but she was already making her next move; using a thick branch below for a springboard as she launched herself forward, flying out over the wide road without a line. Levi's eyes widened slightly in surprise as he watched her soar a third of the way across with the incredible momentum she had just gained using only the muscles in her legs to jump, using the gas to extend it's distance another 1/6th of the way before firing the grappling hook, traveling just enough distance for it to be able to safely embed itself in the tree. Heidi reeled herself in and swung up to perch on a tree branch, but there was no time to rest. Without having to look, she knew Levi was already sprinting across the road. Rather than waiting for him to catch up, she spun around and launched herself at him before he had a chance to fire his grappling hook and took the fight to him, drawing her blades. Levi raised his own blades, crossing them to block her attack, but she was already one step ahead of him. Instead of clashing her blades with his, Heidi held her legs together as she swung them forward, planting her feet firmly on the flat sides of his blades as she spread her legs to push them apart, slamming them flat against the ground as she landed. Levi immediately jumped back and just barely managed to reload in time to block as she lunged at him again. Levi spun around and slammed the edges of his blades into the flat sides of hers with enough force to snap them in half and fired a grappling hook at her as she leapt back to reload. Heidi raised one of the snapped blades to try to deflect it off course, but the momentum of the wire caused it to wrap around the blade. Levi had her right where he wanted her. Before she could release the snagged blade, he reeled her in, grabbing her by the neck as he held a blade to her throat. But Heidi wasn't going down so easily. She had the sharp edge of her other snapped blade pressed against his side, ready to slice if he decided to do the same.
"All right. That's enough for today," Levi said, pleased with her progress. "Let's head back." They both withdrew their blades, and Heidi closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. When she exhaled and opened them again, she was back to normal. Heidi quickly pulled out a tube of recovery pills from a pocket inside her jacket and popped them in her mouth as they made their way back to the castle to rejoin the others.
—∞—
"Welcome back, Captain, Heidi!" Petra greeted them cheerfully upon their return. "How was it?"
"I managed to avoid being caught by the captain for twenty minutes in row this time!" Heidi said excitedly, feeling very proud of herself. And she had every right to be. Most people wouldn't have lasted more than a minute.
"Wow, that's amazing!" Petra said, extremely impressed. "And you aren't experiencing any fatigue?"
"Nope," Heidi answered with a smile. "If I don't keep it activated the whole time, I can keep fighting longer without it taking as much of a toll on my body." She would have been able to keep going longer if she hadn't been caught. It was a huge improvement over when she first started out and had to keep moving until she was ready to drop in order to come out of it.
"How did you figure that out?" Eren asked curiously.
"Trial and error," she answered tightly. She'd rather not go into detail about the constellation of bruises Levi had given her in the process.
"Keh! Don't get too cocky, rookie," Oruo said moodily. "Captain was probably just going easy on you."
"Did you?" Hange asked Levi while the others chatted away.
"As if I would do something so useless," Levi retorted dismissively. "That brat is scary. She absorbs everything like a sponge. Her fighting abilities are already above average even before she goes berserk, so once that super-human strength and uncanny perception gets thrown into the mix, she becomes a real handful."
"Hmm... Sounds to me like you're having fun," Hange said with a knowing smile.
"..." Levi didn't answer out loud, but the look in his eyes was a little more placid than usual as he watched Heidi interact with Eren and the rest of his squad. And then memories of how other promising and gifted young soldiers had been struck down on their first expedition out made him frown. Well, enough of that. "Eren," he said abruptly, getting the boy's attention. "I've thought of a way to stop just short of killing you."
"... What?" Eren said, caught off guard, while everyone else in the room immediately went silent, giving their leader their full attention.
—∞—
"I said before that the only way to stop you once you became a titan was to kill you... but with this method, you'll survive with only severe injuries," Levi continued as he walked over to the blackboard and picked up a piece of chalk to draw a somewhat wobbly and vaguely human-shaped figure. Heidi smiled wryly as she watched. She was doing her best to remain serious, but Captain Levi's drawing skills were pretty special... "It will be tricky, though, as it requires extremely refined skills to execute. In short, we would have to cut a big piece of meat out of the nape of your titan form's neck with you inside of it. We'll end up chopping off your hands and feet in the process, though..." Levi explained, adding dotted lines to his drawing to show where to cut. Suddenly, the drawing wasn't so amusing. Beads of nervous sweat rolled down the side of Eren's face as he and everyone else stared at the diagram with grim expressions. "No big deal, since you'll just grow them back anyway, like a damned lizard or something," Levi concluded, setting down the piece of chalk. "Disgusting." Heidi sweat-dropped, feeling sorry for Eren. She didn't like the idea of having to maim him like that, but it definitely beat killing him if he lost control. Even if she could beat Eren's titan form down with just her fists, it wouldn't do them much good, because it would just keep healing and continue rampaging as long as he was still inside of it.
"W-Wait a moment, please," Eren said anxiously, looking deeply disturbed. "I don't know how to make them grow back... Isn't there some other way?" Levi narrowed his eyes as he fixed him with a steely gaze.
"Are you saying you don't want to take any risks or make any sacrifices?" he asked sternly, extremely disappointed and unimpressed by the boy's lack of resolve.
"N-No, sir..." Eren stammered nervously.
"Then get over it," Levi ordered bluntly. "It's a risk for us, too. We have just a much a chance of getting killed in the process as you do, so relax."
"...!" Eren gasped in realization. That meant everyone, including Heidi... He glanced sideways at her out the corner of his eye. Her expression was grim, but unwavering. That's right, Heidi had already put her own life on the line many times in order to master her new ability. "Yes, sir..." Eren said as he faced Levi again, steeling his own resolve. "Understood."
"Th-Then... does that mean I can proceed with the experiment?" Hange asked.
"... It's a big risk..." Levi said, glancing at his fellow squad leader. "On the other hand, we can't afford not to poke and prod him." They needed to confirm what they were dealing with firsthand.
"Can I be the one to plan it out?" Hange said. There was an intense expression on the squad leader's face. It was taking everything Hange had to contain the excitement bubbling up within. Eren... If there's something we don't know... we should find out. It's absolutely worth putting our lives on the line," Hange stated seriously.
—∞—
Several hours later, they were ready to begin, and Eren found himself standing at the bottom of an old well.
"When we're ready, we'll fire a signal flare," Hange called down to him. "After that, it's up to you!"
"Roger!" Eren shouted back.
"All right, this dry well should be enough to contain him even in titan form if he loses his self-control..." Hange said, sweating nervously and brimming with anticipation. With that, everyone mounted their horses and moved into position. Hange and Levi would be closest to the well, while Heidi and the rest of his squad waited on standby at the treeline as the next line of defense. Behind them were the rest of the corps members who had come to assist in the experiment. Once everyone was ready, Hange fired a green signal flare over the well.
FSSSS!
"The signal!" Eren said, watching the sky from the bottom of the well. 'Transforming into a titan... I haven't tired it since the operation to plug the wall...' Eren thought nervously, staring at his hand. A bead of cold sweat rolled down the side of his face. 'If I go wild again... This time, Squad Levi might kill me...' he thought as he bit his hand, digging his teeth into his own flesh.
A breeze swept over the flat land above as the others waited for him to transform. According to the reports given by eyewitnesses, his transformation would be accompanied by an explosion of steam. Heidi furrowed her brow in concern as she watched. Should it be taking this long?
"...?" Hange said, also wondering what was taking him. "Maybe he didn't see the signal?"
"... No. There are no guarantees to what we're doing," Levi said, moving his horse forward. They weren't exactly dealing with the most reliable guy... "Hey, Eren! We're calling it off for now!" he called out as he dismounted and approached the well. Levi's eyes widened slightly when they adjusted to the darkness at the bottom of the well.
"Did something happen?" Hange asked, noticing the look on his face, coming over to join him. "!" Hange gasped at the sight. Eren was still human in his human form, but his hands were bleeding profusely. Several chunks of flesh were missing from all over both of his hands where he had bitten it off completely. His mouth was smeared with blood.
"Squad Leader Hange..." Eren said as he stared up at them with wide eyes, drenched in cold sweat. "I can't seem to turn into a titan..."
Eren seemed to be in a state of shock as he was retrieved from the well. He couldn't believe it... How could he have failed?
"Eren...!!" Heidi called out as she rushed over to him, gasping as her eyes widened in horror at the state of his hands. "Hey, are you all right!? Get a grip!" she said urgently, pressing her thumbs into some uninjured spots in his hands as she held them to jolt him back into awareness.
"Ow!!" Eren winced in pain. "Heidi!" he exclaimed, surprised to find that she was suddenly right in front of him.
"Geez, look at you! If Mikasa finds out about this, she'll bury me. Come on, we need to get your wounds treated," she chided him with a frown, concerned. "Even if they'll heal, it still hurts, right?" The crease in Levi's brow deepened as he watched them. To think that boy would have enough determination to mutilate himself to that extent in such a short a mount of time... Eren had overcome his initial fears and hesitation well. These two kids continued to surprise him.
—∞—
Tables were set up for everyone to sit at so they could take a break while they waited for Eren to recover before trying again.
"The self-inflicted wounds on your hands aren't closing up?" Levi asked with a frown after they removed his bloody bandages to check and replaced them with some fresh ones.
"No..." Eren answered, disturbed. What did this mean? Had he lost the ability to turn into a titan...?
"If you lose your ability to transform into a titan, the great ambition to reseal Wall Maria that's riding on it will also go down the fucking drain," Levi stated sternly, staring down at him with piercing grey eyes. "This is an order: do something about it."
"Yes, sir..." Eren answered, looking distraught. He knew what he had to do. He wanted to do it, but...
"Try not to take it too personally, Eren..." Heidi whispered as their disgruntled leader walked away with his tea, and Petra went after him. "But still, it looks like we've hit a real snag, huh...?" she mused with a frown. Like Captain Levi said, if Eren couldn't turn into a titan again... "Maybe 'self-inflicted pain' isn't the only requirement to activate your abilities..." From what she had read about his recovered memories, it sounded like Eren's father did something to him. He probably had the ability to shift into a titan all along, but never knew because he always healed like a normal human. Maybe his healing abilities went dormant in between using his titan form? After all, he'd done plenty of stupid things to get himself injured over the past three years without signs of anything special happening. "If only we knew more about it..."
"Don't get so down, you two," Erd told them.
"B-But..." Eren said anxiously.
"Well, it just goes to show he's more human than we thought..." Oruo added.
"It's a hell of a lot better than rushing to your death..." Erd said.
"Yeah... There's no such thing as being too cautious..." Gunther agreed.
'Huh? Why is it that our seniors don't feel disappointed about my failure... even though they know my inability to turn into a titan spells big trouble for everyone...?' Eren wondered, taken aback.
'Aren't they a little too... relieved?' Heidi thought, concerned, as she and Eren cast a glance at the others.
"Ow..." Eren hissed in pain when he tried to pick up a spoon to stir his tea, dropping it.
"Are you okay?" Erd asked.
"Yes, I'm fine..." Eren said as he leaned over in his seat, reaching for the spoon on the ground.
"Oh, Eren, let me..." Heidi started to offer, when she heard a crackle and saw a spark or something arc around his outstretched hand. "Get back—!" she yelled with wide eyes, quickly jumping away from the explosion of steam that followed.
KABOOM!
Petra and Levi's eyes widened as a blast of hot air rushed over them from behind while the others at the table quickly jumped out of the way, thanks to Heidi's warning, using it to shield themselves from the steam.
"!!?" the other corpsmen gasped when they heard the explosion and looked over to see the huge pillar of steam rising up into the air.
"Hey! What was that!?" one of them shouted. "An Explosion!?"
Heidi didn't waste any time in drawing her blades as she rushed over to Eren, fully prepared to cut him out if he had lost control. What she saw as the steam began to clear surprised her. The titan form was merely an incomplete part of an upper torso with one arm, and Eren was sitting on top. He looked just as startled as the rest of them, and he was frantically trying to retrieve the arm that was stuck inside the titan flesh. There was absolutely zero killing intent.
"Captain Levi!" she exclaimed, sheathing her swords as she skidded to a halt.
"Yeah, I know," Levi said evenly, moving to stand beside her with his blades still undrawn, looking in the opposite direction. However... they now had another problem.
"Wh-Why now!?" Eren shouted, panicking.
"Calm down," Levi said firmly.
"Captain Levi!" Eren said shakily, glancing over his shoulder. "This is..." Eren froze when he saw what was going on behind him.
"I said calm down... all of you," Levi ordered as he and Heidi stood between Eren and the rest of his squad. Petra, Erd, Oruo, and Gunther all had their blades drawn, and they were glaring up at Eren with frightening expressions on their faces. Levi and Heidi watched warily as they began slowly moving into position to surround Eren.
"Eren! What's the meaning of this!?" Erd demanded sternly.
"Wha... What!?" Eren said, startled.
"Why do it now, without permission!? Answer me, damn it!!" Erd shouted harshly.
"Erd, hold on..." Levi said calmly.
"Answer us, Eren!!" Oruo yelled. "What's the big idea!?"
"...!" Eren gasped.
"No... That can wait," Gunther said sternly. "First, prove you're not hostile towards us... or rather, towards the human race!"
"Eh!?" Eren exclaimed, shocked. Did they all seriously think he had done this on purpose!?
'Damn, they're all too panicked to listen...!' Heidi realized, seeing the looks on their faces. They were all sweating bullets.
"Prove it! This instance! It's your duty!" Gunther yelled.
"The moment you so much as twitch that hand, you can kiss your fuckin' head goodbye!! Get it, you bastard!?" Oruo snapped furiously. "I ain't kiddin', I'm more than capable of doin' you in!! Wanna try me, huh!?"
"!!" Heidi gasped, furrowing her brow. She clenched her fists, preparing to enter a controlled berserk state so she would have the speed to stop them if necessary.
"Oruo! I said calm down!" Levi ordered sternly.
"Captain! Heidi! Please move away from Eren! You're too close!" Petra yelled.
"No, you guys are the ones who need to back off," Levi told her. "Stand down."
"But why!?" Petra demanded anxiously.
"Intuition," he replied seriously. He had sensed from the start that, despite appearances, Eren wasn't a threat, and they were all way too panicked to listen to logic.
"Why so silent, Eren!? Say something!" Erd shouted.
"I...!" Eren tried to answer, but he was cut off.
"Don't you move a fuckin' finger!!" Oruo yelled.
"Show me proof, now!" Gunther yelled.
"Eren!!" Petra shouted.
"I'm trying to..." Eren nervously tried to explain again.
"Answer me!!!" Erd yelled. "What are your intentions—"
"Hey!! Could you all please just shut up for a minute!!?" Eren yelled angrily, finally snapping. How the hell did they expect him to answer if they all kept cutting him off like that!?
"!!" they all gasped, startled by the sudden outburst. Even Levi was looking at him now.
WHAM.
"!!?" Eren exclaimed, startled when he suddenly found himself being head-butted by Heidi.
"Eren..." she said in a steady, serious tone, looking him in the eye while kneeling with one knee on top of the partially-formed titan with her forehead still pressed against his, as they all stared at her, stunned. "I know they're being jerks, but you need to calm down, too. Don't give them a reason to attack."
"Ereeennnn!!! Can I touch that arm of yours!!?" Hange called out at full volume and lung capacity, so the question echoed across the clearing, as the squad leader came speeding towards them from the forest. "Can I!? It's okay, isn't it!? I can, right!? I'm just gonna touch it, that's all, I promise!!!" Hange exclaimed, drooling with excitement and charging straight at him.
"Squad Leader Hange...!?" Eren said, surprised, while Heidi's pupils returned to normal as she turned to look. Wait a sec—" But it was too late, her hands had already made contact with the titan flesh.
"OOOOH!" Hange yelled as a sizzling sound was heard. "Hot!!!" Hange cried, running away. "It's soooo damn hot without skin on!!! So incredibly hot!!!" Hange shouted, sliding into a kneeling position, raising burnt hands to the sky and staring up at them with wonder, blushing happily at the new discovery.
"Squad Leader!" Moblit shouted anxiously. "You're too reckless for your own good!!"
"Say, Eren! Aren't you hot!?" Hange asked excitedly, jumping back up and spinning around to face him again.
"Yeah, he's burning up..." Heidi answered while Eren stared at her, stunned.
"Heidi! How'd you get up there!? No fair, I want to do that too!!" Hange exclaimed, staring at the young girl with an open look of envy. "What's it look like where his right hand's connected to the titan flesh!?" the excited squad leader asked, trying to figure out how to get up there without getting burned again. "I'm dying to know!"
"Squad Leader!!" Moblit yelled, worried she was seriously going to try.
"!" Eren gasped as his eyes widened in realization. 'That's right! If I can just pull my hand out... Stupid titan body!' he thought, gritting his teeth, as he leaned back and began pulling with all his might. "Nnnngh!"
"H-Hey, Eren! I warned you not to pull any weird shit on us!!" Oruo yelled nervously, raising his swords.
"Relax! He's just trying to..." Heidi began to explain as the connective tissue snapped.
"Urgh! Ugh!" Eren grunted in pain as he succeeded in yanking himself free, falling off the back of his titan form to land on the ground near Captain Levi where Heidi had been previously standing. Heidi jumped off too as the titan body gave off steam, indicating that it was beginning to disappear.
"What!? Eren, no!!!" Hange cried with disappointment, jumping up and down and practicality pulling out hair. "Why did you have to do that!? There's still tons of stuff I wanted to...!?" Hange gasped, freezing upon noticing something peculiar about the tiny spoon sticking out of the giant hand's grasp. Eren was panting, breathing hard as Levi moved closer.
"Captain..." Eren said though labored breath.
"How do you feel?" Levi asked as Heidi came around to join them and check on Eren.
"Not so... good..." Eren answered tiredly, feeling physically and mentally exhausted as he glanced around at the others, eyeing them warily.
