Chapter 20: A Bit of Fun
Commander Erwin's speech had been very sobering and severe, but Heidi and Eren had a pleasant surprise waiting for them back at the old HQ. Upon their return, Levi ordered them to change into their civilian clothes before coming to the dining hall. When Heidi and Eren entered to join the others, they found that everyone else had changed into civvies, too. The hall had been decorated, and there was a nice spread of food and drinks laid out on the table.
"Oh, there they are!" Hange said excitedly as everyone let out a cheer and started congratulating them.
"Huh?" Eren said, blinking in confusion.
"This is...?" Heidi asked, glancing around at the colorful handmade decorations, which had obviously been the work of Petra.
"Heidi, Eren, this is your official 'welcome to the corps' party," Levi informed them with a straight face, already holding a glass of vine. "Show us a party trick," he ordered, cutting straight to the point.
"Yeah, do something, Eren!!" Oruo, Erd, and Gunther said excitedly, nursing some beers.
"Don't lose, Heidi!!" Petra cheered.
"Whoa, way to put the pressure on!!" Eren exclaimed, sweating nervously.
"They've already turned it into some sort of competition..." Heidi remarked wryly, sweat-dropping. What was with this boys vs. girls atmosphere? She was starting to wonder who this party was really meant to entertain.
"Making the new recruits perform a party trick in order to deepen our bonds... Is a time-honored tradition within the Survey Corps!" Hange explained, while sneaking up behind them to make sure they couldn't make a run for it.
'So they're all bound by a bond of shared humiliation...?' Heidi thought dubiously, raising an eyebrow at their smiling faces. 'Even Captain...?' she wondered, glancing at the stoic man. She had a really hard time picturing him participating in something like that...
"We all did it when we joined too!" Petra said with a smile.
"It can be whatever you want!! Now hurry up and do something!" Gunther said excitedly.
"O-Okay!" Eren said nervously. "Entry #1: Eren! If it goes well, I expect some applause! I will now bite my hand and turn into a titan!"
"Permission denied," Levi said bluntly, giving him a good whack on the head, while the others exchanged uneasy glances, clearly relieved that he had stopped him.
'How else did he expect that to end...?' Heidi wondered wryly, sweat-dropping.
"Well... I guess I could do my 'terrifying scars of the amazing regenerating man' show..." Eren said as he picked himself up off the floor, rubbing his sore head.
"Eww, gross!!! We don't want to see that while we're eating!!" Petra, Gunther, and Erd shouted, horrified by the idea.
"Eren, what did you do before you knew you were a titan...?" Heidi asked, seconding that emotion.
"Why don't you do something, then?" Eren asked her, chagrined.
"Uh, well..." she said a bit hesitantly. "I guess I could—"
"Cheating death doesn't count," Levi interrupted before she could finish.
"Eh!?" Heidi exclaimed in disappointment. But that cut out the better half of her repertoire!
'Just what was she planning on doing...?' Eren wondered a little nervously.
"I know! Why don't you sing, Heidi!" Hange suggested brightly.
"Eh!?" Heidi exclaimed again, balking at the suggestion. All of the blood drained from her face, and she seemed to be on the verge of panicking. "No way! Why would you even ask that!?"
"I heard from Erwin that your father was known for his talent as a singer," Hange said, now feeling very curious. Levi recalled hearing something like that too, but he hadn't been paying much attention at the time since it didn't seem important. Lately, their commander sometimes babbled on about Heidi's father so much that Levi half suspected he was in love with him.
"No, no, no, no—that is definitely not a trait I inherited from him!!" Heidi said earnestly, waving her hands and shaking her head anxiously. "I take after my mother in that department, and I like and respect you all way too much to put you through that!"
"Hmph. Sounds like a lame excuse to me," Oruo huffed.
"You don't have to be so shy, Heidi," Petra said kindly. "I'm sure you'll do just fine."
"You can't be that bad..." Eren said with a frown. "Although, come to think of it, I don't think I've ever actually heard you sing before..."
"There's a reason for that...!" Heidi quipped nervously.
"The more you try to dodge it, the more I want to hear it!" Hange added excitedly.
"You were humming just fine the other day," Levi agreed calmly. He was surprised when the teenage girl's eyes widened in horror, and she suddenly went as white as a sheet.
"No, really... You seriously don't want me to try..." Heidi said anxiously with a grave expression on her pale face, breaking out in a nervous sweat. "I'm not sure how or why, but something goes extremely terribly wrong when I try to switch from humming to actual words! Screeching cats sound better. It doesn't bother me as much, personally, but I have it on good authority that my singing voice can make people's ears bleed—my grandpa has even said before that if I ever get kidnapped, all I'd have to do is sing, and they'd bring me straight back, if they didn't suffer too much critical damage."
Levi thought that old man talked a lot shit, and that it had to be an exaggeration... but she seemed genuinely concerned. In fact, she seemed more anxious about being forced to sing than being dropped off a cliff without a safety harness. 'She's seriously panicking over this...' he thought as he realized that this was the most upset he had ever seen her so far, while he and the others stared at her, a little stunned.
"Heidi, I'm sure—" Eren began, only to be quickly cut off.
"Ask Sasha if you don't believe me—she made me promise not to sing within a ten mile radius of her!" Heidi retorted sternly, sweating bullets.
"..." They all stared at her again. That seemed a bit extreme, didn't it? The older members of the Survey Corps didn't know who Sasha was, but they could tell by the wide-eyed expression on Eren's face that this statement was meant to be taken seriously.
"So, no matter what, I am definitely not singing tonight. Not even if you all try to order me to. Like I said, I respect all of you too much to put you through that kind of trauma." The distressed redhead spoke with such a firm and earnest tone of finality that they decided to let it go.
"Well, we won't force you, if you're that against it..." Levi said stoically, taking pity on her. It was a little unnerving to see the cheeky brat so terrified by the mere idea of it.
"Yes!! Thank you very much, sir!" Heidi responded gratefully, exhaling a huge sigh of relief.
With that, they all agreed to let the subject drop for the moment, and that it might be better not to have her demonstrate after all. But Heidi could tell Hange was still bursting with curiosity and dreaded the thought that she might try to coerce her into it again later.
"Tch! You new rookies are pathetic..." Oruo said. Although, he was glad to know that brat had a weakness after all. "We brought the house down when it was our turn!"
"And out of all of us, Oruo's trick was totally the best!" Petra added with a grin, to help lighten the mood.
"Yeah," Erd agreed. "A few people even ended up in the medical office with difficulty breathing."
"Huh!?" Oruo said, shocked.
"Oruo will show you a thing or two! So get a good look!" Gunther said as the three of them began pushing their teammate front and center.
"Ah! Cut it out, you guys!!" Oruo yelled. "All right, fine!" he said, deciding he might as well just get it over with. "My ear is connected to my mouth, and I'll stick my finger through to prove it," he declared, poking his finger in his ear as he poked his tongue into the cheek on the opposite side of his mouth, moving it as he wiggled the finger in his ear to make it look like they were connected, sweating nervously with everyone's eyes on him.
"Haha... Oruo is the best after all," his three teammates said in unison with the same half-hearted mollified expressions on their faces.
"What do you mean 'after all'!?" he demanded incredulously. "Spare me the lukewarm smiles!"
"..." Heidi stared at Oruo with an open look of disappointment on her face. The others had made it sound like people had to be hospitalized with trouble breathing because it was funny, so she had been expecting something hilarious enough to split her sides...
"I don't want to see that kind of face either!!" he snapped with a vein throbbing on his forehead. Was this brat trying to pick a fight with him!? "Like you can judge, you tone-deaf brat!"
"I'm not tone deaf," Heidi replied with a straight face. "I just happen to have a singing voice like nails on a chalkboard."
"Geez... That was just as creepy as my scar thing," Eren said nervously, exhaling a sigh of relief now that it was over.
"Don't tell us you don't know how he did it!?" they all shouted incredulously. They were seriously beginning to worry about this boy!
"You guys do something too!" Oruo told Petra and the others, blushing out of embarrassment.
"Fine, I'll do it," Petra said bravely. "Here's my impression of Captain trying to drink tea that's too hot!" she announced boldly, quickly grabbing a prop teacup as she tucked a napkin into the front of her shirt like a cravat.
'Wha!?' Erd and Gunther thought as their jaws dropped, eyeing their stern squad leader nervously.
"Ohh!?" Heidi gasped, impressed by her courage in the face of almost certain death. They all watched as Petra took a seat, mimicking Levi's posture perfectly in every way, right down to his unique way of holding the cup. She pretended to take a sip and froze abruptly with her brow deeply furrowed and a tight scowl upon her face.
"..." Levi stared at her with an extra crease in his brow. Was that really what he looked like...?
"Pft!" Heidi immediately had to clap a hand over her mouth. It was just too perfect—both Petra's impression, and the look on the Captain's face when he saw it! She thought it was kind of cute, actually, in an odd way... It kind of reminded her of the look on a cat's face when you accidentally gave it milk that was too warm for its sensitive tongue.
'We can't laugh even if we want to!!' Eren thought as he and Oruo both bit their lips, trembling with suppressed laughter as they began turning red in the face.
'What an endurance contest!!' Oruo thought.
"BWAHAHA!!" Hange erupted in an explosion of laughter, leaking tears. Petra was the best!! And speaking of the best... "Oh, hey, Erd and Gunther!!! Look what I found in storage!" the eccentric squad leader said excitedly, quickly switching gears, as two old dresses were whipped out of the bag next to the squad leader's chair. Gunther's eyes bulged out of his head and Erd nearly dropped his fork when they saw them. No way...! "See? They're the costumes you two wore at your welcome party! Change into these and fire everyone up!"
"Eh, so does this mean they cross...?" Heidi started to ask, when the two men each took hold of one of Hange's arms and quickly whisked the squad leader out of the room for a little discussion, dresses and all. She and Eren stared after them for a moment in awkward silence. 'I guess they're going to destroy the evidence...'
"Oh, speaking of impressions... Heidi, you should do yours of Commandant Shadis' way of welcoming new recruits!" Eren suggested with a smirk when he recovered, remembering how hilarious it had been. "It was a masterpiece when you blindsided Jean with it."
"Hm?" Levi said, glancing at them. Shadis...? As in Keith Shadis? He wondered if they were talking about that head-butt thing he used to do back when he was still Commander of the Survey Corps.
"Who's Jean?" Petra asked curiously.
"No one important," Eren answered bluntly. "Just a horse-faced jerk."
"Wow," Heidi said, sweat-dropping. Way to hold back, Eren. "But you know, neither Jean nor Peter are here... so who's going to be my victim?" she asked him. "Unless, you want to..."
"I decline!!" Eren responded immediately, refusing with all his might. Those head-butts really hurt, especially when Heidi did them. Even tough old Commandant Shadis had a bruise on his forehead for a few days after he crashed heads with her!
"... Well, so much for that idea, then..." Heidi remarked with a roll of her eyes. He didn't have to be such a wuss about it. Her eyes happened to land on one of the beer bottles the others had left behind. "Oh!" she exclaimed, as an idea suddenly occurred to her. "I just thought of a trick I can do! But I'll need a clear glass bottle filled with water, some toothpicks, and a large empty bowl."
"Oh, leave that to me," Petra said, dashing off to the kitchen. She was expecting big things from Heidi.
"Huh? What are you going to do with that?" Eren asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, if I explained now, it'd ruin the trick," Heidi said pointedly. Apparently, Petra had run into the others along the way, because Erd, Gunther, and Hange all returned with her.
"Here's the stuff you asked for," Gunther said as he and Erd handed it over.
"Okay," Heidi said, pouring some of the water out of the bottle into the empty bowl. "As you can see with your own eyes, this is normal water..." She turned it back upright and placed her thumb over the over the open bottle neck, then she turned it upside down over the bowl with her thumb still in place. A little bit of water trickled down her hand. "Now, watch closely as I make it... defy gravity!" Heidi declared, carefully removing her thumb.
"!?" they all gasped when they saw what happened next. She was holding it completely upside down in the air with nothing to block the opening, and yet not a single drop had fallen once she removed her hand!
"And that's not all..." Heidi said with a grin as she picked up a toothpick. They watched in even further amazement as she inserted it through the opening and the water sucked the toothpick up, floating it all the way to the top.
"Ohh!" Eren exclaimed in amazement.
"Wanna try?" Heidi asked, gesturing to the pile of toothpicks. He nodded eagerly and picked one up, imitating her movements as he inserted another one. Just like before, the toothpick floated all the way to the top without spilling a drop. She let each of them have a turn at it before moving onto the next and last stage of her trick. "And now... Gravity is restored!" she said, tapping the side of the bottle with one finger to open the floodgates and empty all of the water out into the bowl, toothpicks and all.
"That was so cool!!" Eren and Petra exclaimed.
"Yeah, that was a neat trick," Erd agreed.
"Way better than Oruo's," Gunther added.
"Hey!?" Oruo shouted indignantly. "Tch! How did you do that anyway?" he asked. "There must be some kind of trick..."
"It's no trick, just simple physics! The way she held it allowed the surface tension of the water to build up and create a vacuum inside the bottle, which not only kept the water inside, but allowed for the toothpicks to be sucked up inside, right?" Hange said with a bright smile, as if it should have been obvious. They all glanced from Hange to Heidi.
"Uh, yeah..." Heidi said a bit sheepishly as her cheeks flushed a little under their scrutiny. "... What Squad Leader Hange said."
"How did you figure all that out?" Eren asked, still impressed.
"It was a happy accident," Heidi admitted with a wry smile.
"And the toothpicks?" Petra asked.
"... There really isn't that much to do out in the country..." Heidi replied, rubbing the back of her neck. Once they figured out how to replicate the effect, she and Jacob had done all sorts of experiments to see what else they could do with it. "One time, we even made a recorder out of a carrot... we ate it afterwards, of course." Playing with food was sometimes allowed in the Trumbauer household, but wasting it was considered a cardinal sin.
"A recorder...?" Oruo asked dubiously, thinking he must have misheard.
"... Out of a carrot?" Gunther finished as they all exchanged a skeptical glance.
"And it worked?" Erd asked.
"Well, it only played three notes... but yes," Heidi answered with a nod of her head.
"..." Levi stared at her. So in her spare time between farming, hunting, and learning how to fight and become an escape artist... she made musical instruments out of vegetables...? This kid had a really unique upbringing. "All right, why don't we get back to the main event? We still haven't seen anything from our other star of the day," he said pointedly, redirecting everyone's attention towards Eren, who suddenly looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "You've had plenty of time to think of something, right?"
"N-No, I still haven't thought of—" Eren started to say shakily, when Levi grabbed him by the back of the neck in a way that really unnerved him.
"I'm not going to let you tell me you've got nothing," Levi said rather forcefully with a dark look on his face, keeping a good grip on the boy to prevent him from doing a runner. Everyone had to pay their due; no exceptions.
"Would you like some help, Eren?" Hange asked.
"Squad Leader Hange! Yes, please help me!" Eren cried in relief.
"Whose hand-me-downs do you want to wear!?" Hange asked excitedly with sparkling eyes, holding up the two dresses from before. "Gunther's or Erd's!?"
"Neither!!" he shouted incredulously. Why did this crazy person still have them!?
"Hmm?" Heidi hummed mischievously. "I was going to suggest something too, but I think I like this idea better," she said with a Cheshire cat grin as she, Hange, Petra, Gunther, and Erd closed in to surround Eren, who was now sweating bullets.
"It sure has gotten lively around here," Levi remarked with a creased brow, wiping his hand off as he stood next to Oruo while they watched the others yell and chase Eren around the room with the dresses. It was disgusting how sweaty teenage boys could get.
"Y-Yes, it has, Captain!" Oruo said a little nervously, though he was happy to have a moment alone with his hero.
"We've had nothing but trouble lately," Levi remarked with an inaudible sigh. "I hope that we can goof off like this again sometime."
"Captain..." Oruo said, touched. 'You're so kind, Captain!' he thought, tearing up. 'I'd follow you to the ends of the earth!'
"By the way, Oruo..." Levi said, motioning for him to move closer. "How do you do that trick from earlier?" he asked with a straight face. "You don't how bad it's been bugging me."
"Huh!? The ear one!?" Oruo asked, flinching in shock. It was one thing for an idiot like Eren not to get it, but... No, the captain had to be joking! He was definitely joking, right!?
"Ah, by the way... There's something that's been bothering me since earlier..." Heidi said as Erd and Gunther held Eren down while Hange struggled to pull the frillier of the two dresses on over his clothes.
"Don't tell me you want to know how I did the ear thing, too..." Oruo asked warily.
"What? No. You obviously faked that by sticking your tongue in your cheek," Heidi retorted matter-of-factly.
"Oh, so that's how he did it..." Levi muttered with a very serious expression. It was kind of disappointing once you knew the answer.
'He was serious about that!?' Oruo thought, doing a double-take.
"What did you want to know?" Petra asked curiously.
"Well, didn't you say something about Mr. Oruo being in the same class as you?" Heidi asked, tilting her head slightly to the side.
"Yes, that's right," Petra answered with a nod.
"We graduated when we were your age, but we're both 19 now," Oruo added proudly.
"... Ehhh!?" Heidi exclaimed, gaping at him shock.
"Hahaha... He looks a lot older, doesn't he?" Petra said with a wry smile while Oruo sweat-dropped, chagrined. "By the way, Captain doesn't look it, but he's over thirty."
"Oh, Captain looks really good for his age," Heidi said with a calm smile. That wasn't nearly as much of a surprise to her, because she was already used to certain people looking much younger than they should... like her grandfather, for one.
"Be more surprised, dammit!!" Oruo snapped indignantly with a vein throbbing on his forehead. What was with that nice smile right after she had just looked at him like he had grown a second head!? This brat really knew how to piss him off!
