Sorry this took so long to post. I recently rewatched the first season of the anime and was inspired to write again. I hope you enjoy!
~Strix
Haise walked into the quiet of the living room, taking in the new environment as one would examine an exotic animal at the zoo. In one word the apartment was pristine: white walls, white furniture, white curtains, white carpet. Haise hastily removed his shoes, putting them on the designated mat by the door. He cautiously walked further into the room, as if afraid to touch anything and leave a mark.
Arima placed his car keys on a hook by the door and removed his shoes as well. There was a strained silence as Arima watched Haise inspect his apartment. It was odd to see someone become privy to his personal sanctuary. Sensing Haise's reluctance to move more than a few feet into the room Arima put a hand on his shoulder, noting how he jumped slightly at the small interaction.
"Make yourself at home Haise. As you can see this is the living room, the kitchen is just over to the right if you need anything to eat there is a small drawer in the bottom of the fridge where you can find the necessary provisions." Arima watched Haise's expression, seeing his mouth form a grimace at the last part.
"If you follow me I can show you to your room," Arima stated as he started towards the hallway at the end of the living room, approaching his spare bedroom with Haise following behind him. Arima opened the door and stepped back, allowing Haise to go first into the room that would now be his room.
"I hope you don't mind but this is where I keep my bookshelves. Feel free to read anything that interests you." The last part might have been missed as Haise ran his fingers along the solid oak frame of the bookshelf. He delicately touched the bindings of the books, looking at the quantity with wonder.
Absentmindedly he responded "Oh, I don't mind," before going back to his personal slice of heaven. There were many here that were brand new to him but some looked familiar, images coming fuzzily to mind as he looked. He picked up a novel bearing the title "The Black Goat's Egg" As he held up the book his head throbbed and he dropped it. On reflex, with a movement almost imperceptible to the eyes of a human, he managed to snatch it back before it hit the floor. He looked at his hand in surprise and then back at Arima who had been studying him from the door frame.
"How?" Asked Haise with one hand to his temple, the simple question was rhetorical. They both knew how.
"Do you want some time alone Sasaki?" Arima asked steadily.
"Y-yeah," replied Sasaki who had resumed his inspection of the offensive hand.
Arima nodded and walked out of the room. With a click he shut the door and left Haise to his own devices.
Going to his own bedroom across the hall he picked up his current novel from his bedside table and settled onto the couch in the living room to read. Time passed and Arima grew more curious as to the actions of his charge. Were his movements reflexive or were they a warning? Arima dismissed the second option as highly unlikely. It seemed almost laughable that Haise was capable of being an aggressor in his current state. But then again Arima knew better than to treat ghouls as being incapable no matter what their condition. The lack of noise coming from Sasaki's room was unnerving. The ticking of the clock distracted Arima from his novel as he grew deeper in thought. It was only the quiet disturbance of his stomach that finally made him put the book down.
The man walked into the kitchen. His stomach reminded him that despite his guest's non-existent requirement to eat normally that he was still a prisoner to his body's need for nourishment. He pulled out a piece of steak, allowing it to defrost before tonight's meal. For now he gathered rice, vegetables, and a piece of chicken for a stir-fry. Putting the rice in the rice cooker he began to make his meal in earnest.
As he pulled out a cutting board and knife he heard a quiet click as Haise finally exited his bedroom. His charge entered the kitchen and sat down at the small four person table. Arima didn't let this disturb his preparations. He allowed the silence to pervade the air as he sliced the vegetables, allowing them to simmer in oil while he dealt with dismantling the chicken.
Arima could feel Sasaki watching him though he didn't say anything. The man felt slightly uncomfortable under his gaze but continued about his tasks without appearing uneasy. The Grim Reaper was not one to show his emotions no matter what inner turmoil he might have. He put the chicken in a pan with sauce and allowed it to marinate as he poked and prodded at the meat until it was cooked completely through.
With his preparations completed he scooped the ingredients into a bowl, grabbing a set of chopsticks before joining Haise at the table. He set the bowl down and finally acknowledged his charge. "Are you hungry Haise?"
The boy looked nervously at Arima's bowl and slightly wrinkled his nose. Refusing to make eye contact he looked away. "No."
"Okay," Arima replied simply before digging into his own bowl. Each bit was delectable and he savored each as he did with every meal. Hearing Haise's stomach growl Arima made eye contact, noticing how Haise's eyes had darted away from his neck as he turned his head.
"Haise, do you know why humans eat meat?" Asked Arima.
"Well, um, for food of course," replied Haise nervously.
"Yes, but why eat meat when we can eat other things? Tofu, beans, and legumes can provide as much protein as this chicken and yet we choose to eat something that was once as alive as you or I. I believe that the answer lies in taste."
"T-taste?" Stuttered Haise, trying to make sense of what the man before him was trying to say. He was anxious to be alone with this man that was called the Grim Reaper, the man responsible for ending the lives of so many ghouls, so many other creatures much like himself. Of course he had simply overheard this from the nurses. The longer his stay in the hospital the more his senses had sharpened. He had been able to hear the footsteps and voices of the nurses, doctors, and patients that had wondered the halls. Unfortunately this also included their heartbeats and with it the sound of blood pulsing through their veins and pounding through arteries. It had been enough to drive him mad with hunger at first. Even now he could hear Arima's steady heartbeat, causing his stomach to rumble once more.
"You see," explained Arima, holding up a piece of chicken perfectly positioned between his chopsticks, "Meat has a distinction that is incomparable to other food. Try as they might even scientists are not able to duplicate how the muscle fibers interplay with the natural flavor. We have yet to synthetically create anything that tastes and acts like meat that comes directly from an animal. We can alter the flavor with a sauce, chop it up into bits and even blend it until it has the consistency of a smoothie and yet it will still taste like meat. I believe that the life source of the animal has a large part to do with this. A cow that is young and full of vitality will always taste richer than one that has aged beyond its prime."
Arima ate the piece of chicken delicately, feeling the muscle fibers break down as he chewed. He allowed the flavors to slip over his tongue before swallowing. "Meat is given its flavor by the animal's life. Every piece of grain it eats and blade of grass it chews adds to the quality. Meat is to be respected. It is through sacrifice that we can find our own enjoyment. This is why we need to savor what we have and be thankful for what we are given. Everything needs to eat Haise. To eat is to find pleasure, to eat is to sacrifice, to eat is to live. At the end of the day everything needs to eat. It is wrong to find enjoyment in causing something's death, but it is also wrong to not live for the sake of not causing pain."
Haise's eyes watered in distress. He swiftly wiped away the dew. Gulping nervously he kept his eyes downcast as Arima finished eating. When the man got up to place the bowl and utensils in the sink his eyes tracked his movements.
"Do you understand what I'm trying to say Haise?" Arima continued with his back still turned." It is in your DNA to find enjoyment in eating, no matter the source. Everything must eat. To eat is to live and to starve is to die." A warning glint shot through Arima's eyes at the last sentence as he turned to face the boy.
Haise was aware of what would happen should he lose control. He instinctively knew that his hunger posed a threat. It was a caged animal that was impossible to control, always trying to satisfy its needs and conquer anything and everything that stood in the way of getting what it wanted. It scared him. To give in meant life as much as it did death.
"I have no choice? There's no alternative?" Haise whispered. Arima's silence was all the answer he needed.
"Are you hungry now Haise?"
Sasaki nodded.
Arima opened the fridge and rummaged through the bottom drawer. He stood with a simple package crafted from white butcher's paper and twine in hand. He grabbed a plate and opened the wrapping, slicing thin pieces with a knife while arranging them neatly on the dish. He then placed the dish in front of his charge with utensils and watched as the gray of Haise's left eye was quickly replaced with a black sclera and red iris.
Haise tentatively reached for a slice, saliva gleaming at the corner of his mouth, spittle hanging in strings as he opened and closed his mouth to take a bite. A tear rolled down his cheek as his taste buds imploded. He devoured the rest of the food before he became consciously aware of his actions. Holding a hand up to his mouth he backed up his chair to run to the bathroom. His body was screaming at him to swallow the last bite while his mind revolted in waves of disgust.
Haise was stopped by Arima as the statue of a man clamped his own hand over Haise's, preventing him from moving any further. They stayed there at an impasse. Arima's hand as solid as stone while Haise's own fear stopped him from taking another breath. Arima leaned down and whispered, "Swallow Haise."
Haise shook his head in horror. He couldn't. If he did he would die. If he did he wouldn't be human anymore. His body yelled at him to finish it, to give into what it wanted. His inner beast paced restlessly in impatience, needing to be sated and yet being denied. Tears furiously streamed downed from Haise's eyes, pupils in both eyes fully dilated from his inner turmoil.
"I am not asking," Arima stated. While his words were still steady there was now a hint of threat. Without hesitation Haise swallowed, sending the last of the meat down to where it would be digested in a matter of minutes to send out the sought after nutrients to the rest of his body. While his body and the beast rejoiced, his mind with still in upheaval over what had just transpired.
Arima removed his hand from over Haise's. "To eat is to live Haise, and to starve is to die, remember that."
The Reaper grabbed the plate and finished the dishes, placing them on a drying rack after he rinsed off the suds. Haise stayed where he was, cheeks still flushed from the endorphins flooding his body. The taste was indescribable. Haise felt a high he couldn't remember experiencing. It was pure euphoria. While he was disgusted with what had just happened he was also in awe. To think that something so simple could cause him so much pleasure was something he couldn't quite comprehend.
Arima walked past the still figure of Sasaki, relaxing once more on the couch. He picked up his book and distractedly read while he watched the boy from the corner of his eye. It would seem he was in for a struggle. What kind of ghoul was intolerant to the idea of eating? As far as Arima was concerned most of them lived to satisfy their never-ending need for sustenance. While Arima was no more a fan of the eating habits of ghouls than anyone else, he understood the necessity. On more than one occasion when he was feeling more generous, he was able to bribe a ghoul for information instead of torturing them with a small morsel of flesh. The victims from which these came from were mostly the homeless and unclaimed bodies. The CCG had arrangements with crematories. They would take the occasional limb in exchange for monetary incentives and no one would be the wiser. Ghouls didn't mind a little decomposition when they were starved for a few months.
Arima cleared his throat. Sasaki dethawed and turned to look at him. "Why don't you go lay down Haise, it's been a long day."
Sasaki nodded and walked to his bedroom, still in a daze. He kept the door open behind him. He wanted to show Arima that he was to be trusted. As far as he knew Arima was the only person in his life who was on his side and he wanted to ensure that it stayed that way.
Haise laid down on the bed, pulling the blanket over him as he rolled over to face the wall. His head was still whirling. He was sated for now and knew the hunger would come back. The one constant in his life was the hunger, the need to eat and devour. It was all consuming and he knew it would take over if he let it. He would just have to learn how to survive on just enough to get by and no more. He would not be greedy even though the beast inside demanded it. It was lulled by the meal but he knew it would awaken again soon enough.
The thought that he had eaten something that belonged to someone, that was at one time a living person, threw his stomach in a state of upheaval but he swallowed down his revulsion. He would consider this the first lesson that Arima would teach him. He had a feeling it would be the first of many. His stomach now settled, he closed his eyes and relaxed back into his pillows. Even though the light was still lingering behind the curtain he felt himself slowly slip into unconsciousness.
