A/N: So all this was brought on after some sparring with someone about Maddie and David's age old dance and the way we ache for them to be together. She's never going to read this, but I'm dedicating it to her anyway. Enjoy!
Sleep deprived
Maddie stared out into the darkness of her old childhood bedroom, frustration slowly creeping up on her. Sleep wouldn't come. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why; ever since she had arrived in Chicago almost two weeks ago, these issues with sleep existed. One would think that, with how tired she was feeling because of it, at one point she would slip into unconsciousness without much further ado. For some reason, it just wasn't happening. Maybe it was due to the fact that she was in a different environment? All though, she had slept in this very room for almost 18 years, why would it bother her now?
She punched her pillow a couple of times, trying to make a better dip for her head to rest in. This whole situation was making her cranky. Hadn't she come to Chicago to relax and rest? Why couldn't she fall asleep? Her mind drifted towards her life in Los Angeles. She wondered how the company was doing; was David managing things on his own?
David…. The whole reason why she was here in the first place. How on earth had she managed to fall in love with a man who appeared so terribly wrong for her? It would have been so much easier if it had been anyone but David. She was so afraid to trust her heart with him.
She rolled over in her bed for the umpteenth time when she spotted his letter, lying neatly folded on top of her desk. It had arrived days ago and she had yet to reply. His words had been so uniquely David at first, with him joking around a bit about life at the office. Then, with the final few sentences, the bottom of her stomach had fallen out.
This is all a bunch of crap. I'm miserable and I want you to come home.
The admittance of his true feelings had broken her heart into a million different pieces, pointing out exactly how she hadn't felt completely whole these days that she had been in Chicago. It was as if her very soul was crying out for him and that paralyzed her to the bone. She couldn't let him have that power over her.
She hadn't returned the favor of writing to him. Having any contact with him, even in the form of a letter, would feed the fire that was slowly killing her. Her feelings for him needed to stop consuming her. She was starting to look haggard, her own mother had even told her so. There were bags under her eyes from barely sleeping and her skin was pale.
Which brought her mind back to the fact that she was still awake. She never had any issues with falling asleep, or sleeping through the night for that matter. Up until a week and a half ago, she had always slept soundly.. even in David's arms. An unwanted thought suddenly invaded her mind and she shivered in the darkness. It couldn't be because of that, right? She wasn't experiencing this whole sleep deprivation because, for four weeks, she hadn't slept alone a single night? They had been in his bed… in her bed… the walls had always been different, but they hadn't been apart for even one moment. Had her body gotten used to having someone lying beside her?
Don't be ridiculous, Madolyn Hayes! You've never been dependable on a man for anything!
She remembered pushing her breasts against his shoulder blades as she snuggled against him during the night. Her fingers had delicately traced his side, her lips had left kisses on his neck and her bare skin had found its' home against his.
And she was starting to sound like one of those damn Harlequin novels! What had gotten into her? This was why she had run away almost two weeks ago: David Addison was turning her into an emotional mess!
She shot up in bed angrily and ran a hand through her disheveled hair. This wasn't going anywhere. She was here to put David to the back of her mind, not lie awake over him! Rolling over, she turned on her nightlight. His letter was still in her direct line of vision. With a sigh of defeat, she got up and reached for it, before crawling back into bed.
His sloppy handwriting was staring back at her and she delicately traced it with her fingertips.
She sank back against her pillows, clutching the piece of paper close to her chest. Her body just couldn't seem to get into a calm and comfortable state. Suddenly, she thought back to another time when she had been alone in bed a few weeks ago. There had been another pact involved and she had told David that she wanted some space.
As she lay there, she heard the door silently open, footsteps coming towards the bed. Her heart almost leapt from her chest when the mattress shifted underneath her. The warmth of another body radiated under the sheets as he pulled her close, draping an arm around her waist. His skin warmed hers and their legs slowly entangled themselves together on their own accord. Tingles ran all the way up and down her body, while David pressed his lips to the back of her neck.
"I thought I told you not to come," she whispered in the dark.
"You did. I just didn't listen."
Damn. Why was his bedroom voice always her undoing?
"Do you want me to leave?"
Of course, while he proposed his offer of leaving, he had made himself very busy caressing every piece of skin that he could find. His tongue slowly touched that spot just below her hairline and her breath hitched.
"No," she found herself saying.
"Good…"
She knew she wasn't being fair to him; to leave him hanging like this, not knowing if she was ever willing to get back together with him. Maybe he was already fed up with waiting. What time was it, anyway? He was probably out cold on the floor of some bar right about now… or maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was feeling just as horrible as she did.
Don't do this to yourself, Maddie. Don't create these scenario's in your head.
The phone was right by her bed and she found herself eying it.
You are not going to call him!
She couldn't. If she called him now, in the middle of the night, what message would that send to him? He would probably take it as a sign that she wanted to be with him, not that she was calling because she was bored and fatigued over sleep deprivation.
Still, her heart slightly jumped at just the prospect of being able to listen to his voice. A buzz hummed in her veins and she knew what her body wanted; it wanted him. Before she knew what she was doing, the receiver was already in her hand with his number dialed. Her stomach churned while she waited.
"Hello?"
He sounded remarkably awake. Maddie opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. The silence seemed to swallow her whole while she clutched the receiver like a lifeline.
"Hello?" David repeated.
Oh, this was a mistake! Why did her heart rule over her head with him? It wasn't what she was used to; she always thought things through very carefully before she acted. Now here she was, not knowing her way out of an impulsive decision. She should just hang up. David would never know it had been her.
Maddie was about to put the receiver down when David threw her a curveball; he took a guess at just who was on the other end of that line.
"Maddie?"
She froze mid-action of hanging up, her eyes wide with the feeling of panic bubbling up inside of her.
"Maddie, please. Talk to me."
David's voice had suddenly turned soft, almost bedroom-like, and he breathed her name with such need and longing that it punched her right in the gut. Her eyes closed on their own accord and she put the receiver back up to her ear.
"Hi," she finally spoke up, feeling a little breathless.
"Hey…"
They were both silent for a moment and Maddie could almost hear him swallowing something, obviously contemplating what to say to her.
"I'm sorry about my timing. I didn't wake you, did I?" she asked.
"No, I was up. It's good to hear your voice. I wasn't sure if… Why didn't you call before? Or respond to my letter?"
Maddie wasn't sure how to explain that. What could she tell him? That she refrained from having any contact because she was afraid of him turning her soul inside out?
"I need you to stay in touch, okay?" David pleaded.
Tears sprang to her eyes with the way he spoke the word 'need.' Every inch of her wanted to reach out to him right then and there.
"Okay," she agreed.
"Are you coming home soon?"
Oh, David. Please don't do this to me.
"Maybe," she found herself saying.
She heard some rustling on the other end of the line.
"Maybe is something. All right, I won't press you. How's Chicago?"
Maddie found herself relaxing somewhat. Her body seemed to almost let out a sigh of relief when it felt some of the stress ebbing away.
"It's all right."
"All right? That doesn't sound too exciting."
"Well, for some reason, I can't seem to sleep here. I'm flat out exhausted."
Why on earth had she just confessed that to him?
"Oh? I'm sorry about that. Is something on your mind?"
"I don't know, really. How's the business? How is everybody?"
It was a quick diversion, she knew that. She just wasn't ready for the hard questions yet. She wasn't even sure yet why she had called him.
"Same old, same old. MacGillicuddy en Viola still want to rip each other's heads off, I handled some cases and overall, we're not doing too bad."
Maddie nodded absentmindedly, not really aware that he couldn't see the gesture.
"I miss you."
His admission came so out of the blue that it felt like taking a shot to the heart. It had the exact same effect, though; she slumped back against her pillow, cringing under the blow. Feelings came pouring out and she wasn't sure how to stop it.
It was unlike David to blindside her like this. Of course, he had admitted how he felt about her absence in his letter, but those were words written on paper. When it came down to really talking to him, he was every bit as good at beating around the bush as she was. They were both horrible at being vulnerable and expressing their emotions. David had always joked his way out of a situation and she had gotten used to giving everyone her ice queen act.
The silence was hanging heavily in the air, as he waited for her answer and she contemplated what to say next.
"I miss you too," she finally breathed, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Then what are we doing here? Get on that plane right now. Come to me."
Maddie shivered, feeling a familiar lowdown tickle when he uttered the words 'come to me' to her in a husky tone. Damn, what that man was able to do with his voice should be against the law…
"David…," she warned.
"I hate this, Maddie."
"I know, okay? I know."
She wanted to say more, but the words wouldn't come to her. She could hear David release a breath on the other end of the line.
"Well," he muttered. "I would say 'take as much time as you need,' but that would be a lie."
He sounded so petulant, almost like a child, that Maddie couldn't help the small smile that curved the corners of her mouth.
"There's no need to lie," she told him. "I uh… I guess I'm going to try and get some sleep now."
"It's what one usually does at 2 'o clock in the morning," David quipped.
"Actually, it's 4 'o clock here."
"You've been awake all that time?"
Maddie sighed and tiredly rubbed her face.
"Yeah."
"Maybe you should start thinking about other sleeping arrangements, then," he threw out there.
"David!"
"Yeah, I know, I know. It slipped out. Sometimes it's bigger than me. I do understand where you're coming from, though. Same here. Somehow, the bed's suddenly too big for one person.."
Maddie bit her lip, feeling her aching heart all too well in that moment.
"And also too cold," he continued.
"I'll think about the sleeping arrangements. Meanwhile, you make sure that you don't find other sleeping arrangements yourself, okay?"
Oh lord, had she really said that out loud? Had she basically told David Addison that she didn't want him with anyone else? She could almost hear the 1000 watt smile on the other end. Just like that, she had set the door wide open for him, after it had almost been closed.
A blush crept up her skin and she was so grateful that he wasn't able to see it. It was all so confusing; she didn't know what she wanted, she just knew that the thought of David with anyone else made her blood boil.
"I'll be right here, by my lonesome," he promised. "Stay in touch, okay? Don't go all silent mode on me again for another week and a half."
"Okay," she whispered. "Well, goodnight."
"Goodnight."
Maddie could already feel the loss the second she hung up. She had never felt this kind of need before. Of course she would never admit to it, but before they became involved with each other, she had almost counted the hours until she would see him again. On Monday morning, she had always been the only one singing all the way to work, while her fellow passengers on the elevator gave her strange looks. Back then, she hadn't realized why she had been so excited to get to back to work. Right now, she was painfully aware of it, though. If it had been up to her body and heart, she would have already been back in Los Angeles. It was her mind that was still keeping her there in Chicago, afraid of the damage that David Addison could do to her…
"Good morning, Maddie," her mother greeted her only a few hours later.
Maddie grumbled and dove for the coffee pot, needing something strong to keep her upright. She had finally managed to fall into a restless sleep after her call to David, but said sleep had only lasted for about two to three hours. Then, she had already been up again.
"You didn't sleep again, did you?"
Virginia's voice was soft as she glanced at her daughter.
"No."
"I thought as much. I heard you talking to someone around 4 a.m…. Is everything all right?"
Maddie squeezed her hands around her coffee mug and sighed. For such a big house, her mother did always seem to be on top of things.
"Sure. I was up, so I decided to make a business call," she quickly explained.
"A business call, huh? So someone else was up around that time, willing to do business?"
Maddie shrugged, trying to play it casual.
"Well, you know. Some calls can't wait."
"I'm sure they can't…," Virginia trailed off, giving her a knowing look.
Damnit! What was it about mothers that made them so observant?
"Do you have any plans today?" Maddie asked, quickly changing the subject.
"Well, I was going to ask you to come with me and visit a museum, or something. But now that I've seen you, I'm not so sure. Forgive me for being blunt here, Maddie, but you don't look too good. You've been here for almost two weeks now and every day, I see you wilt away a little bit more. Then, with the sleep deprivation… Maybe it's time that you did something about it."
"Like what? Go to a doctor, or something? Get some sleeping pills?"
"Do whatever it takes to get yourself back on track. You need to sleep and get some color back onto your face. I'm worried."
"There's no need, really. I'll work on my sleep. As for the pale color; maybe it's nothing but a vitamin deficiency."
"It could be. It sure looks like you're missing something."
It was just a simple sentence that could mean a variety of things, but Maddie's head positively whipped up at her mother.
"Of course, whatever you do is up to you. As long as you promise me that you'll do what is ultimately best for you, okay?"
Maddie nodded, giving her mother a meek smile.
What was best for her…
What was, in fact, best for her? She used to have all the answers; she had always wanted a glowing career and a nice, stable man who could provide her with anything. The first one had been taken away from her and the second… David Addison was nothing like who she had envisioned herself falling for someday. He certainly wasn't stable! Yet, she was so in love with him that she couldn't see straight.
She had been so sure that some distance between them would help her make a decision, but here she was… lying awake over him every night. Her soul ached for him and her body craved him. It was ridiculous!
"Good. Now how about you try and get some rest? I'll make sure that you have the house to yourself today and you can do whatever you want." Maddie's mother interrupted her thoughts.
Now, that sounded like a plan.
She made herself some breakfast. Then, after her mother had left, she flopped down onto the living room couch. The house was quiet, but Maddie still found herself distracted by numerous things; the organized record albums from her father, the floral pattern in the drapes, the wind, which was softly blowing outside…
Then, her eye fell onto an old photo album.
She didn't think she had ever seen that one before. Curious, she got up from the couch and walked over towards it, picking it up. A very young Alexander and Virginia looked back up at her when she opened it. The pages had turned a bit yellow, but the pictures were still decent quality. Maddie sat back down and leafed through the album, a small smile beginning to cover her face. These must have been from around the time when they had just gotten married. They appeared to be so in love. Her mother positively beamed up at her father and he, in return, seemed to be so proud that she was his wife. They looked so perfect together!
A few pages further, she saw some pictures of herself, of when she had been just a baby. They made an absolutely adorable family. Now why couldn't she have that. Why couldn't things be simple?
Of course, all though her mother and father appeared to be the perfect fit in these pictures, Maddie knew they were far from it. Last year had been a low point in their relationship, with her father's indiscretion. They had created this perfect image together, society accepted them and yet, behind closed doors, it hadn't been easy. It still awed Maddie that her mother had forgiven him. Apparently, things were never simple in relationships.
She quickly closed the photo album again and sighed. This wasn't helping. Great, it was only 11 a.m. and she was already going stir crazy! She stomped up the stairs, angry with herself over her current mood. Maybe she ought to check in with Agnes and see about her mail, that might keep her busy. Of course, there was the risk of David being nearby and hearing about it.
Maddie stared at the clock and contemplated it. It was only 9 a.m. in Los Angeles, surely he wouldn't be in yet? He had slept as little as she had last night…
She picked up the phone and dialed the number for Blue Moon before she could change her mind. Agnes would update her and that was that. No need to worry about David. When the brunette secretary answered, Maddie smiled at hearing a rhyme again for the first time in almost two weeks.
"Hi, Agnes."
"Miss Hayes?!"
Agnes' voice was one of pure wonder and a tiny bit of happiness.
"Yes, it's me. I'm just calling to see if you have any important messages for me?"
"Oh, Miss Hayes! Why don't I put you through to Mr. Addison? I'm sure he can fill you in on anything important."
Maddie almost jumped up, her heart beginning to beat an erratic rhythm.
"No!" she snapped. Then, she made sure to talk in a more reserved manner. After all, it wasn't anyone's business what was going on between her and David. "I mean, that won't be necessary. I just wanted to know if you had any messages."
"Oh, uhm…. Well, nothing that can't wait until you get back." Agnes sounded a bit disappointed. "How's Chicago?"
"Chicago? Chicago's great. It's good to catch up with my parents again."
"Good."
Things fell silent and Maddie just knew that there was a brunette on the other side of the line, brimming with questions but being discreet enough not to ask them.
"Well, then I guess I ought to get going again."
"Okay."
"Oh, wait! Would you mind going by my house and taking care of my mail for me? I just realized that no one's been to my house in almost two weeks."
"Mr. Addison already took care of that."
Maddie's eyebrows shot up with that admission. David had taken care of her mail for her? That was….
"Oh," she almost whispered. "Good. I mean… That's good of him to do that…. Well, give my love to everyone."
"I will."
"Bye, then."
"Bye, Miss Hayes."
Well, that had been awkward. Not just that, it still left her nowhere. No messages to take her mind off things, nothing to do but wonder why David would even bother checking up on her mail when he wasn't even sure if they would get back together. The man was a mystery and now, her mind was plagued even more…
Day 20 of being two thousand miles away from home. Was Los Angeles her home, though? Was Blue Moon her home? Maddie peered at the alarm clock on her nightstand and scowled.
1 a.m….
Another restless night and another million thoughts in her head. Why couldn't she just switch them off? She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. What did her body need in order for her to fall asleep?!
Maybe her mother was right; she needed to do something here. Was it time for sleeping pills? She shivered underneath her blanket, making her snuggle into them a bit more. She just felt so cold. These three weeks over here were beginning to feel like a lifetime. Nothing in her life made sense anymore. All that she seemed to want was him. He was exactly what she had run away from, though. Everything was so messed up and she was falling apart at the seams.
She hadn't called him again. Being in touch when she didn't know what she wanted made everything so much more difficult, so she kept stalling on her promise to pick up the phone every once and a while. Maybe she ought to?
She sat up in bed and turned on her nightlight. It was 11 p.m. in Los Angeles. He was bound to still be up, considering the night owl that he was. Just a quick phone call and that was that.
He picked up on the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's me," Maddie sighed into the receiver. It was uncanny how just the sound of his voice made her a little less antsy.
"Hey."
"I uhm… I'm sorry to call so late again."
"That's okay. You having issues sleeping again?"
Maddie rubbed her eyes and yawned.
"Yes," she admitted.
"Maddie, this isn't good."
"I know, but what can I do about it?"
"Come home," David flat out told her. "That might be the answer."
She rolled her eyes and laid back down in bed, keeping the receiver to her ear.
"You and your simple solutions."
"Yep. I'm a good man to have around in a sticky spot," he joked on the other end. "I can get you out of any situation; even sleep deprivation."
"You can get anyone into a situation, David. There's a difference," she threw at him.
"True. I got you into plenty of situations."
Maddie felt herself beginning to blush with his double entendre.
"It's exactly why I'm here."
"Are you hiding from me, Blondie?"
His nickname of her stirred something deep inside and she bit her lip.
"I would hide from you the rest of my life if I could."
She could hear him chuckling.
"Likewise, babe. My life was actually pretty simple before you came along."
"Ah yes. It was simple, indeed. All you had to worry about was how to get home after a night of debauchery. Now, you have to be a responsible adult and keep a business afloat."
"Are we back to the 'responsible adult' conversation? That one is getting as old as the bet you made with me."
"You lost that bet, Addison."
"You wanted me to lose."
The realization of that fact shut Maddie up for a moment. He was right, she had wanted him to lose. She didn't want to change him. She loved him exactly the way he was and that was the problem; because the way he was could not provide her with everything she had desired in the past. So she was at a crossroad now; should she let go of David, or should she let go of the notion of what she had wanted before?
"Maybe," she mumbled. "Anyway, thank you for respecting my wishes in all this."
"It's not easy."
Her heart squeezed at that admission.
"I know. I love you, David."
Right, maybe she wasn't supposed to say that right now. She rolled over into her pillow and bit the fabric of it, keeping herself from groaning out loud in utter embarrassment.
"I love you too."
Yep, there was that voice again; combined with his declaration of love it was simply lethal. She was burying her own grave here and she knew that. Still, she clutched the receiver to her ear a bit tighter, desperate to hear him say it. The ache that was constantly present these days intensified, nestling itself in her heart, in her stomach and yes… in her loins. A needy breath escaped her, which he surely would have been able to hear.
"So what did you do today?" she asked, desperately wanting to get them on a different subject.
"Not much. I wrapped up things on the Hansen case. You know, the one with the wife wanting to capture the husband's criminal activity on tape, but instead, we caught a different kind of activity…"
"Oh, right."
Yeah, Maddie sure remembered that one. They had been listening in on what was going on inside the Hansen house, when the minivan that held their the surveillance equipment had broken down. They were left with nothing to do but hear about Mr. Hansen, cheating on his wife…
"Okay, now the guy is just showing off!" David chuckled, listening to the screams coming through on their equipment.
"David, turn that off! We managed to get everything we need for Mrs. Hansen. This is an invasion of privacy!"
"Oh, please! This will give Mrs. Hansen even more leverage in divorce court."
Maddie felt extremely uncomfortable and put her hands to her ears.
"Are you embarrassed now? We've done plenty of cheating cases before."
"We've taken pictures of people making out, we never stuck around for the entire show! And certainly not one with surround sound!"
"You gotta love surround sound," David winked at her.
"You're a depraved man, David Addison! Turn that off right now!"
"Having sex is the most natural thing in the world, Maddie."
"In the privacy of your own home, yes!"
"We weren't always in the privacy of our own home," he told her, flashing a stupid grin.
Her eyes shot death rays at him.
"We were always in a private place, David. The car, the office… the walls might have been different, but it was always private!"
"You call the office private?"
"No one was around, David!"
"That you know of."
Maddie felt herself wanting to strangle him!
"Aargh! This is all beside the point. Turn that equipment off!"
"All right, all right. Hold your horses."
David switched the button and thankfully, the loud moans stopped. Maddie gave him a pleased nod and tried to stretch her body in the confinement of the small van.
"Now, where the heck is Triple A and what is taking them so long?!" she asked, feeling cranky about the whole situation.
"They said that they would be here in an hour."
"That's ridiculously long. I want to get out of here!"
"Are you sure?"
"What do you mean, 'am I sure?' I'm sure, David! I want to go home!"
"And you don't feel a little bit inspired?"
Maddie looked at him as if he had grown an extra head.
"Inspired? By what?"
"By those two in there."
"Are you seriously asking me if I want to have sex right now? We're stranded on the side of the road, David!"
"With a van that's broken down and nothing left to do but wait. Come on, how is this different from the car?"
"We agreed that we weren't going to do this anymore," Maddie reminded him.
David sent her a look.
"I never agreed to anything."
"Yeah well… I'm telling you that we're not going to do this."
"Pity. I'm sure that we could give those two a run for their money."
The truth was, Maddie did feel a little… 'inspired' by what she had heard in that house, but she wasn't going to tell her partner that. Instead, she slid a bit further away from him in the back of their broken down van. He wouldn't have any of it, though. He flopped himself down next to her, sending her one of his infamous smirks.
"Another 45 minutes to kill, Maddie," he teased.
She almost bared her teeth at him.
"Oh, you're so tense. Let's see what we can do about that."
Before she had time to object, he had slipped his hand up into her hair and began to massage the back of her scalp. Her eyes closed on their own accord and she leaned a bit more into him.
"You're not playing fair, Addison," she mumbled, biting her lip to keep from releasing a moan.
"I never do."
His fingers slipped lower, barely touching that spot on the back of her neck. A shiver ran through her and her lips parted, while smile puffs of breath escaped from somewhere deep within.
"How does that feel?" David voice penetrated her quickly clouding mind.
"I think you're well aware."
She never opened her eyes, but she could hear him chuckling a bit. He continued his ministrations and Maddie's head lolled back, relaxing into the massage. Every time he would brush against that spot below her hairline, she almost jumped, little shockwaves sending her body into action.
Then, she felt his lips carefully slide across the flesh between her shoulder and neck.
"David," she whispered. "This is downright playing dirty."
"Oh, I intend to get a lot dirtier than this."
Maddie opened her eyes to find him gazing at her with dark pools of green. She supposed she should put a stop to this now, but somehow, she didn't.
"What if Triple A comes?" she meekly objected.
He paused to look at the watch wrapped around his wrist.
"Not for another 40 minutes."
Maddie could feel the fabric of her skirt being slid up on her thighs, the cool air immediately raising goosebumps onto her heated skin. His fingers delicately tickled their way up and down her legs, his eyes never leaving hers. Finally, he reached the edge of her panties.
"Do you want me to stop?" he wanted to know, checking in with her. "Or do you want me to find out how inspired you really are?"
She felt him tease the sensitive skin of her inner thighs with his fingertips and sighed.
"I'm not inspired by anything, Addison."
He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Really? You could have fooled me."
He flicked the hand that was between her legs and carefully brushed a knuckle against her still clothed folds. Maddie muscles betrayed her as they quivered underneath his touch. She clenched her hands into fists at her side.
"Yeah, you're not inspired at all," David couldn't help but throw at her.
"Oh, shut up!" Maddie hissed.
"Yes, ma'am."
He leaned forward to nip at her lips, coaxing them open for his seeking tongue. Once it touched hers, she was done for. She put her arms around his neck and pushed herself up against him, almost falling into his lap.
They fumbled around in the darkness of the van until they were writhing against each other. When Maddie finally sank herself down onto him, she was instantly thrown into an orgasm, the foreplay having been enough to get her there…..
"It was an interesting case, for sure," David mumbled, his mind obviously having gone there as well.
Maddie scowled into the phone. She had wanted to distract them, but instead, she had treaded them into deeper waters. Her skin was flushed and her breathing came out a bit too quick.
"I shouldn't have called," she suddenly bit out.
"What?! I… I didn't mean to… I'm sorry."
The sincerity in his voice eased her agitation somewhat and she shifted underneath her blankets. There was a heat brewing between her legs that demanded her attention and she groaned.
"It's okay. This is not your fault. I should know better."
"No, Maddie. Wait! Don't stop calling, okay?"
Maddie rubbed her tired eyes for a moment, contemplating what to say next. Tears suddenly sprang to her eyes and she wiped at them in an angry matter, cursing herself for letting her emotions get the best of her.
"How on earth am I supposed to sleep now?" she whispered out into the darkness of her bedroom.
"I don't know. This is killing me as well."
"This is precisely why I shouldn't be calling you, David. I'm just making it worse for both of us. I'm not being fair to you. Maybe it's better if we don't have any contact for a while. Given enough time, we should be able to…"
"Forget?" David snapped on the other side of the line. "Fine. You keep telling yourself that all this is going to help. You keep hiding out over there. You're nuts about me, lady! And I'm nuts about you. You being in Chicago is not going to change a damn thing about that!"
He was right.
He was absolutely right. She could hide out here all she wanted, but the truth was that she had to go back at some point. What did she expect; that if she stayed here long enough, those feelings for him would disappear? Not likely. There were only two options here: either she went back to rekindle things, or she went back to cut all ties. What she couldn't go back to, was the way things were. She and David weren't mere business partners or pals. Lord, they could never be pals! They could fight, they could have sex and they could hate each other until it made both of their heads spin, but they could never be pals.
"You're right," she simply told him.
"I am?"
"Yes. Look, I have to go now, but I'll talk to you soon, okay?"
David seemed a bit baffled on his end.
"Uhm.. okay."
"Goodnight, David."
"Sure. Goodnight."
Maddie hung up the phone and flung herself out of bed. She stopped when she passed by her mirror. Hollow eyes with dark rings underneath them stared back at her and she had to admit… she looked awful. This had gone on long enough. Tomorrow, she would be back in Los Angeles…
The flight back had been a late one. Maddie had been somewhat disappointed to find the earlier flights fully booked, so she had to settle for one that would land her in L.A. at 11.30 p.m. No chance of catching up with her employees, then, and with half of the west front already asleep. She stared at the key in her hands, debating on whether to use it or not. This was it. No more going back if she made this choice.
She finally stuck the key in the lock and silently opened the door, slipping inside the hollow space with her suitcase still in tow. She put it in the corner somewhere and returned to completing her mission.
The place was dead quiet. It made her wonder if anyone had been in at all today.
With a heart that was beating frantically, she rounded the corner and sighed a breath of relief when she spotted what she was looking for.
He was on his stomach as always, his mouth slightly open as he snored. Something squeezed painfully in her chest when she noticed that he was hugging a pillow close to him.
Oh, David….
Determined not to get distracted, she carefully placed his spare key on his night stand. He had given it to her after they had just started sleeping together. 'In case there was an emergency or anything,' he had told her with a wink. She hadn't wanted to take it, but somehow, it had wound up in her possession anyway.
She stared at the key for a moment, swallowing something. Time for her decision then. Her hands trembled when she moved to turn around.
In the darkness of David's bedroom she quietly began to unbutton her coat, letting it slide to the floor carelessly. She took off her shoes, her pantyhose, her skirt, her blouse and finally, her bra, leaving her in nothing but her panties. She had never slept naked in her entire life, before David had introduced the art form to her. Now, she was addicted to skin to skin contact. Moving carefully not to wake him, she sat down on his bed and lifted his arm to remove the pillow he was clutching so vehemently.
David groaned a bit at the intrusion, and she watched as his hand felt around the bed for the lost item. His face scrunched up into a frown when he couldn't find what he was looking for. Her heart ached at the sight. She had to move quickly or he would wake up.
Maddie slipped between the covers and slid up towards his warm body, placing his arm around her midsection. All became right in the world when she felt him pull her close, his frantic search immediately being put to a halt. He continued his snoring and Maddie felt her own body instantly relax next to him.
There, decision made.
She had no idea what the future held for them, but maybe she needed to take a leap of faith here. Maybe she needed to let go of who she had been or what she had wanted in the past and focus more on who she had become.
Nothing was ever found in the past.. it was found in the Now.
After three weeks of agonizing restless nights, Maddie slipped into a quiet sleep without any trouble…
