Chapter 2: A Stubborn Perseverance
Starting Note - I was feeling nostalgic when I wrote this so if anyone was wondering, I was listening to One Direction's "Perfect". Don't worry though, there'll be plenty of angst in this chapter despite that.
Clarke really ended up only eating one slice of bread. She might not want Lexa's hospitality, but if she died like this, it would just be sad. The bath and the rest of the food were really tempting, but Clarke reined herself in, stood in front of the window and looked outside, contemplating how she could escape. Now that she looked out she could see that she was way too high to possibly escape through the window. There was no way she was going to stay here. Clarke was never going to help the one who betrayed her.
Every time Clarke closed her eyes, she saw the bodies of the radiation soaked bodies, the way Jasper had looked broken as he clutched Maya. It was a choking feeling, an awful feeling that made her want to die because she didn't want to bear this responsibility. At the same time, she didn't want to die because she felt like she deserved every ounce of pain she was feeling right now for every person she had killed with that lever in Mount Weather. Everything tearing her apart right now was Lexa's fault.
Lexa's hands were carefully folded behind her, shoulders rolled back, and head held up high. Slowly and deliberately, she pulled her hand away to knock on the door. "Clarke."
"I don't want to see Lexa. Anybody would be better than seeing her", Clarke's scathing reply came from behind the door.
Lexa forced herself not to react with her gut instincts to let her face fall with her heart. She could convince Clarke to help her as long as she helped Clarke deal with the pain that came with making decisions as a leader. Lexa understood that more than anyone. She may be young, but her shoulders bore more years of sacrifices and decisions that she could never reverse, than most people could even imagine.
Nodding, Lexa turned around to the plump woman behind her. Behind her stood a woman with grey hair and a gentle, knowing smile. The woman had served at least two generations of commanders before Lexa and was the servant that usually took care of her, but in this situation Lexa trusted nobody more than this sweet old woman to make Clarke feel at ease. Obviously Lexa wasn't doing it well if Clarke reacted like that.
"You know what to do,"she said in acknowledgement and a small nod of her head before marching back down the hall towards the throne room. Her look remained passive and regal as she walked into the throne room with a huff, loudly shoving the double doors open at her arrival.
(NOTE: THIS FOLLOWING SCENE IS IN TRIGEDASLENG)
"Rise for your commander!" Titus declared.
Lexa proceeded to make a show of stomping up the stairs to her throne before whipping around and plopping down into a lounging position. She raised an eyebrow as if to challenge everyone now silently looking down on their knees in awe, in fear, in respect. Good, she thought. At least they could start the meeting in a nice and orderly fashion.
The Ouskejon Kru ambassador immediately stood up and faced the throne, bowing out of customary respect. "There is concern among the people that the skaikru will retaliate for us breaking off the alliance that was forged during the battle at Mount Weather. We should march on them before they have a chance. The element of surprise is always an advantage."
Lexa scowled deepy. There it was, the thing she didn't want to talk about. She opened her mouth to once again deflect the suggestion. It certainly wasn't the first time it had come up in these meetings. "The more important matter is the unrest in Azgeda. Until we have figured out how to quell that, there will be no more talk of skaikru."
"Azgeda is one of the coalition! You're asking for disaster by sowing seeds of doubt within your own people, Heda! You ought to be more suspicious of those threats outside of the coalition!" the Azgeda ambassador immediately stood up with indignation and defended Azgeda, turning the conversation back onto Skaikru.
"You will treat your Heda with respect!"Titus demanded.
"Stand down, Titus,"Lexa said calmly, looking at the Azgeda ambassador with a distinct lack of interest. It would do no good to silence a man, she would be called unfair if she resolved to using the fleimkepa and force to keep people in line. "Now sit, we have more important matters to discuss."
All the ambassadors rose from their knees and sat back in their chair… all except for the Azgedan ambassador. Lexa's temper was starting to rise. She was tired of nothing getting done because this man constantly brought up the same things over and over again, leading the meetings in an unproductive direction.
"Yes we do, just like Heda's unwillingness to deal with skaikru. If this is the Heda's weakness again, Azgeda will gladly step in." Now Lexa was pissed. She wasn't incompetent nor weak like this man was suggesting and she could easily prove it. Taking in a breath as Titus and Indra continued to bicker with the Azgedan ambassador, Lexa stood up from her throne with a little push and walked over to the open balcony, inhaling the fresh air of the morning high up in the sky. Polis was such a beautiful city. The capital of a nation she would do anything to protect the people of.
Lexa turned around and in a level voice, she interrupted the argument. "There's no need to argue about this again. Please, come join me." Lexa watches as he smirks and walks forward as if he has won. She continued, "I have a message for queen Nia."
"And I'll happily deliver i-" Lexa mustered all the frustration and anger she felt, the frustration at how stubborn Clarke was, the dangers of Azgeda marching on Polis, all the regrets that she had for protecting her people instead of staying with her like she had said she would into one single kick. Then the ambassador was screaming, falling, and hit the floor with a sick, satisfying, crunch.
She turned on her heel to face the rest of the members. "Would anyone else care to question my decisions?" All the ambassadors looked sufficiently disturbed and terrified. "Good. Then let's begin."
(Back to English)
Clarke snarled and whipped around when the door opened despite what she had said and then froze in surprise. The woman who had just walked in was most definitely not Lexa. She bowed her head in respect before starting in an accent not uncommon coming from Grounders, "I am Carol, and I have been ordered by the commander to assist you, Klark kom Skaikru."
"There is nothing to assist a prisoner with, you're just helping her mock me",Clarke hissed. She glared at the woman, which was pretty hard because the woman in a maid's uniform was simply looking back at her with a sympathetic, knowing smile that reminded her of her own mother, Abby's smile whenever she had found doing something amusing. That aggravated her even more.
Carol shuffled forward and looked Clarke over. "There is no prisoner here." Carol simply started fluffing the pillows as she continued to watch Clarke inquisitively. "A prisoner would be in the dungeons."
Clarke felt quite uncomfortable under her gaze. It was like being a child caught throwing a temper tantrum over candy. Clarke wasn't being unreasonable, she knew she wasn't, she refused to admit she was. It was her right to be angry at Lexa.
Carol stops what she is doing and looks Clarke straight in the eyes again, so much so that Clarke struggles not to squirm and lower her eyes. Then she has the audacity to smile at Clarke as if she knew something Clarke did not know. "The Heda has not said you are a prisoner, has she? You can explore the city as you wish, as long as you don't go looking for danger."
Clarke furrowed her brow. "I could… just walk out and leave?"
Carol looks at the door pointedly. Clarke follows her gaze. The door is still open and there are no guards to be seen or heard. A thousand thoughts go through her head, but the first to solidly land is I can run away. The thought spurs her feet on as she picks up pace towards the door.
"I would at least take a bath first and don a cloak with a hood, child. Escaping is easier when people can't smell you from all the way down the hall."
Clarke whipped around, as horrified at the fact of being called out as she was that the woman had the audacity to do so. Carol was standing there tending to the candles and just smiled back at her innocently, oh so innocently. As much as Clarke wanted to leave, Carol had a point. Plus, anyone from the army Lexa had brought to Mount Weather could recognize her when she was dressed like this. Clarke gave in with a frown and stepped forward, silently walking to the bathroom. She pulls off her grimy and tattered clothing before sinking into the bathtub. The water was still relatively warm thanks to the simmering coals underneath. Only for a little bit, Clarke promised herself. This wasn't taking advantage of Lexa's hospitality, it was just so that she could escape more easily.
Lexa herself was taking a bath when she heard the head of her guard, Ava burst into the room. "Heda, we have lost track of the girl."
Lexa cursed as she practically jumped out of the bath, grabbing a towel to wrap around herself before strutting out into the main part of her room. "Chit yu don biyo, Eva?!" Lexa demanded in rapidfire Trigedasleng. Behind Ava, Carol smirked knowingly. She had warned the Heda that the girl wouldn't just explore Polis, but the bullheaded commander hadn't listened to her. The Heda had wanted to keep Clarke's arrival a secret, to, as the Heda had phrased it, "learn to appreciate Polis on her own, and come to terms with herself."
The Heda kept walking forward until she was pretty much chest to chest with Ava, glaring her down. This was a feat in itself because Ava was a good three inches taller than the Heda herself. Yet the woman cowered in front of the fear inducing commander's gaze. Normally a composed and harsh woman, Ava fumbled over her words as she explained to the Heda, that the unit of Heda's personal guard that she'd dispatched had lost sight of the hooded girl near the Western gate of Polis, having been shaken off by Clarke.
Lexa knew better than anyone that the Western gate exited straight into a forest where pumas and pauna and all sorts of wild beasts resided, unlike the Eastern gate from which Clarke had entered from. Clarke was in danger. Her head spun and her thoughts pulled in a thousand different directions of possibilities. There was no time to waste if Clarke was in danger. Lexa had to save her.
"GYON AU AI SIN Y'IN! Ai sis op gon oyu fok op somtaim" Lexa roared. Carol shook her head as Ava almost looked relieved at being dismissed instead of thrown off the balcony for her mistake and scurried out. Carol stepped forward with a towel and helped Lexa braid her hair as the girl in question was already slipping into her clothes and armor, previous warm bath long forgotten.
As Carol finished, Lexa snapped her pauldron and sash into place. "If I'm not back before my next meeting, tell Titus I said to postpone it."
Without waiting for Carol to answer, Lexa strode out of the room so fast, Carol was scared the girl might get whiplash. Carol shook her head with a small smile. Those two girls had their own struggles to deal with, but their hearts were already intertwined no matter how much they may wish they weren't. If only they had met in another life where neither of them bore such a heavy responsibility.
End Note:
Sorry for the scene not being in Trigedasleng. It's just that it would get really confusing if I put the entire scene in Trig and translated it.
Translations
Chit yu don biyo, Eva - What did you say, Ava?
Gyon au ai sin y'in! Ai sis op gon oyu fok op somtaim- GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! I will take care of you for your mistake later
