Chapter 3: If Only My Head Listened to My Heart

Author's Note: I should just name this chapter "Angst Galore". The POV's will switch a lot in this chapter, get ready.

I wrote Lexa's POV to Coldplay's "Scientist".

Lexa's hair and braids billowed behind her as she sprinted as fast as she darted through the forest, heart in a manic type of panic. What if she was too late? The need to find Clarke throbbed painfully in her chest. If the beasts of this part of the forest got to Clarke before Lexa did, Lexa would never be able to tell Clarke she was sorry. Sorry for leaving her, sorry that she betrayed her, sorry for hurting her. Her heart thrummed in her ears, the look of hatred on Clarke's face engraved in her vision as her world spun at the possibilities.

Lexa had to get onto higher ground. That'd provide a better vantage point for looking for her. Hastily, Lexa started climbing the nearest tree. So careless that a branch snapped underneath her feet. Her leg swung wildly as she attempted to steady herself, hanging onto the branch she was holding onto with both arms now. She looked down and gulped. Her feet dangled easily eighteen feet up in the air.

Lexa inhaled slowly. She had to keep going. Carefulness be damned. Even if Clarke may never admit it (that stubborn girl), Clarke needed Lexa right now. As graceful as a frolicking deer, Lexa leapt silently from tree to tree, heart, and eyes frantically searching for Clarke.

Where are you?


Clarke sprinted as far from Polis as she could get. Although still weak from having not eaten a proper meal in weeks her legs carried her as fast as they could. Weaving in and out of the crowds of people walking around Polis, trying to get back to the forest. Once there she realized she didn't bring anything to protect herself with if she were to encounter an attacker. However, at this moment she didn't care.

Clarke pondered if Lexa was worried for her. She wondered if she had even known that Clarke had left. Perhaps she hadn't noticed. Perhaps the Heda was too busy thinking about what was best for her own people with no thought of how it may affect Clarke.

Clarke shook her head along with any thought of Lexa that was lingering in her mind. She had kidnapped Clarke. She had kept her in Polis as a prisoner just so she could avoid a war on her own people. Why would Clarke help her? She wouldn't, that was the answer. She wouldn't help her even if the almighty Heda got on her knees begging for forgiveness.

She shook her head once more and continued quickly in the direction she had been running. Wondering where she was going, how far she was going, and what else hid in these forests. She heard a rustling in the trees. It sounded like something was following her. She tensed up. "Shit," she thought to herself. She looked around for something sharp, anything that could protect her. And just as she spotted something she could use she heard a loud snap of branches behind her. She tensed more before whipping herself around quickly to catch a glance of what was following her.


Clarke. There she is.

Her wild, tangled blond hair, determined sky blue eyes, and her strong and steadfast feet trampling through the forest. Lexa let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, but her heart clenched at the same time. She had a raging, stubborn type of breathtaking beauty.
Pure instinct took over Lexa. The consequences, responsibilities, and rational thoughts flew out of her mind. Lexa leapt out of the low branch that she had observed Clarke from, rolling and ending up on one knee and hand. Lexa looked up to see Clarke tense and started to turn around (of course she did, that smart girl), but Lexa was up before she could. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's torso, allowing the smell of Clarke to envelope her.

She closed her eyes and reveled in Clarke's warmth. She had made it. Clarke was safe. She hadn't failed as she had at Mount Weather to protect everyone, she didn't have to choose one or the other. Lexa's lips almost twisted into a smile at the warmth that was spreading through her.

Almost. Then Clarke was struggling against her in typical Clarke fashion, elbowing her, kicking back, and screaming so loudly. "LET ME GO, LEXA I'M NOT YOUR PRISONER I WON'T GIVE YOU WANHEDA SO EASILY!"

Lexa started to hiss at Clarke, "Skrish, shof op, Klark you're gonna attract the-", but then Clarke kicked her in the leg again, stepping on her toes in an attempt to get away and Lexa had to practically pick her up so that her legs were kicking in the air.

This was most definitely not the ideal situation. Lexa was strong, but even she couldn't hold a struggling Clarke up like this forever. She didn't have much of a height advantage physically on Clarke, to begin with. There was also the fact that Clarke was being so loud that she was bound to attract the attention of wildlife.

Then she heard it. The sliding of something humongous approaching, branches snapping underneath as it did. She shushed Clarke but Clarke only thrashed harder, protesting something about "not being hers to tame'' but then Clarke froze as well. She heard it.

Behind them, something hissed. Lexa's blood froze. Slowly she set Clarke down on the ground and then turned around, drawing her swords with equal caution.

"Jok…Doba Hisa", Lexa breathed in a whisper.

Before them, was an easily 30-foot long snake. A thick body with a tail that was coiling behind it. It was plated with scales. That wasn't the scary part. The scary part was the double heads sprouting out from its body unnaturally like all other animals and humans affected by radiation. If the sight wasn't ghastly enough, one of the heads reared back and opened its maw, two giant teeth gleaming in the sunlight that filtered through the canopy of leaves. Poison dripped from its mouth, burning the piles of leaves and branches underneath it.


Just as quickly as Clarke was able to catch a glimpse of Lexa the commander was once again gone from her sight. But not completely gone, no, now she was holding Clarke in her arms. For a short moment, Clarke wanted to turn around and hug her back. But she stopped herself.

At least the person following her didn't seem to be someone who wanted her dead. Or maybe Lexa had finally had enough and was there to kill her. But if she was, she wouldn't hug her so that possibility was shut down sooner than it could be thought about.

Then Clarke felt her rage come back. She thrashed around in Lexa's arms. Screaming at the top of her lungs, hoping someone would hear. It got to the point where Clarke was yelling so much she was basically screeching. Not even caring at this point if she lost her voice. She was so angry, so much rage still roared within her. Rage toward Lexa, the one who she believed she could trust.

"Jok...doba hisa," Lexa breathed in a shaky whisper. That settled Clarke's screeching but now instead of anger, fear took her over. "Doba hisa," she thought, "What in the hell could that mean?"

And then she heard it, the loud hissing noise that Lexa seemed to hear first, the sound that she knew a snake made. It was getting closer and closer to the two of them. She looked up at it, and there it stood. The 30-foot snake, with double heads and poison dripping from its mouth. This radiation and the effect it had on the wildlife was no joke.

Clarke watched as Lexa drew her swords. She reached to her side instinctively forgetting the dagger she once carried was taken upon arrival in Polis. Now her head was clouded with thoughts of fear and worry. No matter how much she didn't want to worry, she feared for Lexa's life against this beast. Clarke was no help in this situation and the Hisa was getting closer. Leaves and twigs melted every time the poison that dripped from its mouth hit the ground.

Lexa turned around, worry laced her face as she looked Clarke up and down. She seemed to be searching for something. Probably searching Clarke with her eyes to see if she had something on her that could protect her, or help her get away. Clarke noticed this and shook her head, trying to keep her expression stiff.

Lexa's eyes dropped before she spoke "Clarke, stay behind me." Her voice was in the Heda tone even though she spoke to her in English. She didn't want to listen to her, but she also didn't want to die here. Not at the mercy of a mutated snake. So Clarke obeyed reluctantly. She ran behind a nearby tree that was behind Lexa and watched as Lexa charged toward the Hisa.

The snake bared its teeth and its double heads shot toward Lexa. She rolled out of the way even encumbered by her swords, she was still swift and quick on her feet. Clarke tensed every time the beast went after Lexa. She knew she could run, she knew she could get out and leave her to die the same way Lexa had at Mount Weather. But she couldn't. It was like her feet were glued to the ground. If she was to go anywhere, it would be toward Lexa to help her.

She remembered the time the two of them had gotten into trouble with the pauna. It was one of their first one on one interactions with each other. She remembered Lexa getting hurt and telling Clarke to leave her behind. Lexa believed when someone was hurt, they were almost useless, especially if the commander was the one who was hurt. She was willing to die at that moment and Clarke noticed she was willing to die here too. "That's why she told me to stay behind." she realized.

Unwanted fear and worry whirled inside her. "Lexa doesn't get to die here," she thought once again to herself, "If anyone is to die it will be me." Clarke wasn't going to let Lexa die until she felt or even had a glimpse of the pain Clarke was in.

When she couldn't take it any longer she grabbed a nearby rock, the biggest one she could find, and chucked it at the giant snake. It hit the eye of one of its heads and then the creature turned around to face Clarke. The snake hissed and seemed to lock its eyes onto Clarke. She stood tall, trying her best to hide the fear in her voice. "Sorry monster" she hissed in a low growl "If you want to kill Heda. You must first kill Wanheda."

She saw in her peripheral view a tired and possibly Lexa. But she also got a good look at Lexa's eyes as they widened quickly at Clarke's words and watched as her body tensed even more. The commander was good at hiding her emotions, but it seemed like with Clarke she wasn't very commander-like.

The giant snake bared its teeth once again but this time it lunged toward Clarke. She followed Lexa's first move and rolled out of the way as quickly as she could. She looked around again for something that could help fight this creature. She heard the searing once again of the forest floor as the poison hit it. She eyed another rock and dashed toward it. Picking it up swiftly in one quick motion, chucking it to hit the Hisa's eye again attempting to blind it or slow it down for a few moments. As it hit the snake in the eye Lexa came up behind it, shouting what seemed to be a warrior cry, and slashed at the monster with one of her swords.


Lexa kept her eyes on the two heads of the double-headed snake. It was like trying to do a staring contest against two people simultaneously. The snake was assessing her, biding its time. Even if it was impossible Lexa had to get out of this with Clarke. The people needed her. Clarke's people needed Clarke.

Then Clarke did one of the most reckless things she has ever witnessed, maybe only topped by drinking that bottle of moonshine to prove Raven innocent. "Sorry, monster. If you want to kill Heda, you must first kill Wanheda."

Lexa's eyes widened and if it was possible, her heart stopped beating for a second. The world froze. What?

Except, that second didn't last and was over when Clarke hurled a rock at the snake, hitting one of its four eyes. If there was any moment she was going to do anything it was now. With a fearsome cry, Lexa leapt forward and jumped as high as she could, slashing the half-blinded snake. Without a second in between, the second snakehead was upon her and she bore the brunt of the impact with her left sword, right sword too far to get into position. Lexa went flying, landing four feet behind Clarke.

Brushing off the pain of impact, she rolled back onto her feet as quickly as possible. "Why'd you have to do that? Now you've only aggravated it, Clarke," Lexa murmured as she inched up next to Clarke.

"Oh, like you had any brighter ideas. Don't you even dare think about sacrificing yourself like a martyr." Lexa could feel Clarke's glare on her. She couldn't really deny she had thought of doing so. There was no way they were going to be able to defeat this beast. It was as bad as the pauna. This was annoying, embarrassing even. It was a blow to her pride. Lexa wanted to deny it but she couldn't.

"I'm not going to sacrifice myself for my prisoner," Lexa grumbled under her breath to Clarke. The snake was coming back up, it's one eye now returning to normal, now assessing both Lexa and Clarke.

"Oh, so now you admit I'm a prisoner? I hate you."

Lexa's heart dropped to her stomach at that statement. She hated this feeling. "Yeah, well maybe I wouldn't have to keep you like one if you cared about your life."

Clarke's voice rose to a scream. "ME?! I care about my life a fucking lot more than you. You're the savage, emotionless human who left us all to die at Mount Weather. You left me to die!"

Lexa felt something die in her. Clarke had gone there. Part of her knew Clarke was just angry but another part blamed herself too. It was just because Clarke didn't understand...right? Lexa didn't have the time to sort out her feelings when the snake reared up again, tail whipping forward this time to hit Clarke who went flying into a tree and fell, limp to the floor.

"Clarke!" Lexa sheathed her swords and ran to Clarke, picking her up and running as the double-headed snake slithered after her with frightening speed. Even if she didn't have the strength, she had to get Clarke back to Polis. No matter what.

End Note:

Translations

"Skrish, shof op" - shit, shut up

"Jok… doba hisa" - fuck... double hisser