Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, George Lucas, KOTOR or anything with a lightsaber... but I WILL own the lightsaber chopsticks that I am thinking about buying... :3 yeah... its going to happen.
I'm back!
My sincerest apologies to my poor readers who have waited and waited for me to get my act together! I have a chapter for you guys, ready to go! I know i haven't updated in a while but i'm back to diligently working so long as all my major papers for college are over and done with! So thank you for your patience and thank you to everyone who voted on where the crew of the Ebon Hawk was going! The verdict is in and you'll have to read to find out where ;)
Evil. I know. Enjoy!
Change is Afoot
"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever."
Time. It seemed to pass at the pace of a Felucian snail as everyone waited for the Council to deliver their verdict. Which is pretty slow when you consider how massively big they are at just two meters in length. Big but with all that weight, incredibly slow. That was how time felt to Samirah. She spent most of it recovering until she was to her up beat and outgoing self with the help of Carth. He constantly checked up on her and there were a few times when she would black out for a few seconds as the scenes from the map replayed behind her eyes. The images imprinted into her brain, the voices and sounds replaying like a broken record. After a brief moment, she'd be conscious of the world around her again and Carth would be staring at her with a look of concern.
She would tell him that she was just tired and struggling to focus so that he wouldn't worry. A small lie but one that served its purpose well.
Bastila spent most of the time in meditation and while Samirah attempted this tactic to ease the storm of images in her mind, she didn't seem to be able to sit still. She would constantly fidget and the meditation only seemed to bring up more images. It was like the map had tainted her. Instilled these images into her brain like a tattoo on her skin, like a virus that courses through your veins; unshakeable. Instead, she would spend her time working on the Ebon Hawk, fixing dents and scrapes and broken pieces that she hadn't been able to fix once they left Taris. The thought of the now lifeless planet left an aching in her chest. She needed to do something. Anything. Sitting around was not her style.
She had inspected the ship several times, looking for any kind of imperfection that could be easily fixed or if not so easy to fix, a learning experience that would further educate her on the mechanics of the peculiar ship. The Ebon Hawk was nothing like her own ship, the Silver Meridian. Her ship was shaped differently and more compact. It wasn't a smuggling vessel, as the Ebon Hawk was, for she had no need of smuggling. Scouting required tactic, stealth, reconnaissance, poise, quick thinking, splicing, hacking; you name it and she more than likely had to know it. Skilled as she was, the Ebon Hawk was not her ship and was still foreign to her. The walls were not the ebony black color she was accustomed to, the floor not the shiny silver metal that seemed to shine the more she traveled; nor the familiarity of her room, the simple cot with several small pillows, a writing desk adorned with empty holovids of a life she was beginning to forget. She didn't own any holograms of her family or even of her old home. A place she hadn't visited in so many years she had already begun to forget its place within her heart.
That ship was all she had left of her memories of that life. The life before a scout. The life before a Jedi. Now she would have to turn the Ebon Hawk into her new home. Whatever happened to just leaving after Dantooine? What happened to her plans on drifting through the galaxy and searching for undiscovered places; what happened to her old life? She felt like she needed to reclaim herself. She needed to tinker with this new ship and know it, inside and out, like she knew her old ship.
The thought of calling the Silver Meridian her old ship gave her such a sad smile.
She grabbed a bag full of tools and an unused towel before quietly heading to the hangar. She was about to leave the hangar when she bumped into Canderous doing his usual habit of tinkering on the already perfectly repaired swoop bike. His back was turned to her as he inspected every crevice the bike had to offer. A pair of wire cutters were held tightly in his hand as he pulled wires and replaced them. The sound of Samirah's boots across the metal floors drew his attention to her as she entered the room.
"Well if it isn't the kid." He said with a lazy half smile. She came to a stop and offered him a small smile.
"Afternoon, Canderous. How does she look?" Samirah gestured to the swoop bike before him with a nod of her head and his smile turned into a proud grin as he held his head high.
"My work is nothing but the best. Try losing a swoop race in this bike, its damn near impossible even if it was soldier boy who piloted this baby." His voice rang with pride as he boasted about his newfound child that he had nursed and nursed into perfection.
"I'll be sure to inform him the next time I see him." She said, giving him a big smile. "I'll let him take care of any future races." Canderous shook his head.
"The way you raced on Taris is evidence that only you should be the pilot. You have raw talent kid, I like that. He can't come close to racing like you. He'd have a better chance of winning this race as a Gamorrean does of being pretty." He turned his back to her again as he examined some bolts that seemed to have lost their shine over the past few minutes. He reached out and grabbed a clean cloth off the nearby bench and began to scrub it clean yet again.
"How do you know if you don't give him the chance to try?" She asked curiously, her arms folding across her chest as she smirked. Canderous grunted.
"Trying is one thing kid. Actually performing it is another and I ain't about to let him try on her just yet. Just let him try…" He mumbled the last sentence to himself.
"You and Carth seem to have a little tension between the two of you… am I missing something?" It was more of a playful way to egg Canderous on but she was curious. Ever since they had returned from the ruins, Canderous and Carth had been shooting daggers at one another whenever they crossed paths. Canderous grunted again as a hint of a smile found its way across his face.
"It's not me who's missing something…" He mumbled as he flicked his gaze at her before looking back at the bike. Samirah's expression turned from one of humor to one of puzzlement.
"What?"
"It's a thing between men, kid. He wants to do things his way and I want to do them mine. He just has a little trouble accepting a few things." His said with a toothy grin as he started on rewiring the swoop bike, yet again. "You shouldn't concern yourself with us though; soldier boy will do just fine." Before Samirah could inquire about what he meant, he turned to look at what she was carrying with a smirk. "Aren't you setting out to do something?"
Her eyes drifted down to the tools in her hands and she remembered her task at hand. She was going to repair a few pieces of the ship.
"I suppose so…" She pulled free a wrench from the bag and twirled it between her fingers as she contemplated where to start.
"Need any help?" She looked up to see his attention still focused on the bike, but his words directed at her.
"Aren't you busy with the swoop bike?" That was all he ever did. The idea of him working on something else was… unheard of almost. He glanced over his shoulder to offer her another toothy grin.
"Does it look like I'm busy, kid? I've put this bike back together so many times I could do it blindfolded during the biggest battle of my life and still kick some ass." He said, his eyes gleaming at the thought. He was itching for some action, for some excitement. He wasn't one to sit still for too long and that's exactly what these Jedi had him doing. He glanced over at Samirah, her eyes still staring at the swoop bike in awe. She was now one of those peace-keeping, justice fighting, people protecting, nose-stuck-up-in-the-air, magic cheating, touchy feely, force wielding good doers known as Jedi. Had she changed?
Her eyes moved to find his and she smiled at him.
"That takes some dedication, I must say." Her voice was as light as always, it was a sound smooth and soft but as light as the sound of bells. Clear but pleasing to the ear. "So long as you don't mind to help, I could use the extra support."
She tilted her head and gave him such a sweet smile that made him grunt in response. No. She hadn't changed from her innocent, care-free self and he was positive she hadn't lost her fight. She couldn't lose her spirit. It was impossible.
"Alright, lead the way kid." He gestured for her to go first. She pushed away from the doorway with a smile, the tools firmly held in her hand. She moved swiftly past him, with light and airy steps, out of the hangar and into the plaza of the Jedi Enclave.
It was bright and at first, blinding as they left the ship into the warm, breezy afternoon. It was quiet as the few Jedi who weren't busy training, roamed silently from place to place, silently greeting everyone that crossed their path. Samirah and Canderous were beyond their notice as they crawled beneath the ship. She found a long panel about half her size that was dented and scratched up from countless fights that had never been repaired. She had hoped the Ebon Hawk wasn't that different from the Silver Meridian when it came down to the mechanics and hoped that this panel led to more wiring and functions of the ship. If she could tweak around inside and repair anything, it might fix little annoyances aboard the ship such as flickering lights in the hallways and perhaps even the food synthesizer. A long shot but you never knew what wire was connected to what. For all she knew, the purple wire could be connected to the big guns or the yellow one to the hyper drive.
She prayed it wasn't.
She placed both hands on either side of the paneling, careful not to pull it all crashing down on her as she tried to dislodge it. She pulled, the slab of metal barely budging as a crease formed on her brow. She tugged and yanked, the panel not giving way under the force. Canderous watched from the side, wondering if she was going to finally ask him to pull it free for her. A dent in one of the corners was melted into the ship keeping the panel in place. It wasn't coming free anytime soon. Samirah was tugging with all her might, her face turning red as she held her breath to focus all her strength on the panel.
"Hey kid, I don't think pulling any harder is going to pull it free." He snickered only to earn a glare from Samirah as she redirected her attention to the panel.
"Oh yes it will…" She pulled her hands away, holding one up in the space between her and the ship. It shimmered different hues of blue before the panel itself was encased in the same light. She scrunched her hand just faintly enough for the panel to contort to her will, pulling free from the welded side before she tossed the panel away using the Force.
Canderous had to quickly duck his head and roll out of the way as the panel came flying his way, clipping the side of his shoulder. He barely even winced as it crashed across the pavement with a deep ringing sound as it slid the rest of the way across. The scratch was only minor and hardly drew blood; it was the least of his worries. The moment the panel came loose, an onslaught of sand, dust, mud, powder and rocks came crashing out on top of Samirah. She started to scream but promptly shut her mouth and turned her head as the contents covered her from the waist up.
When it settled, she was coughing and gasping as she wiped her eyes clear of all the muck. Canderous just stayed in one place as he smirked at the now dirt covered Jedi who was still trying to wipe away dirt from her face.
"Oh my stars…" She breathed. "It's a wonder she can even fly to start off with." She reached her hand inside to find wires and circuit boards that were wired to the parts of the ship. Most of the wiring were aboard the Ebon Hawk and could be fixed on the ship. Beneath the ship, however, was where the oddities were found; the landing gears and other minute details that weren't regularly checked or ever even thought about until they caused problems from being neglected. A point she wasn't going to miss.
"It seems we have a bit of work to do, Canderous. The landing gear is about two or three landings away from jamming, the wires that keep the circuit board working aboard the ship is falling apart and what's worse is that I don't think anyone ever looked in here before so it seems we have our work cut out for us." She actually smiled instead of frowning.
"Good. About time I worked on something other than the swoop bike. Funny how my occupation has made such a far-reaching change from a warrior to a mechanic." His words sounded slightly bemused at the idea and when she took a glance at him, she could see the traces of a smile. His mind had wondered away to times long before her.
"Do you miss it?"
He was jutted from his few moments of relapse to times when all that mattered to him was battle. When all he ever carried with him was his blaster and a head held so high, he wondered how it had never reached the clouds.
"Miss what? The Wars? There will always be a war kid. There is never any time to miss it because another one will replace it and the Mandalorians will always be a part of it. We're in high demand when it comes to wars. The Mandalorian Wars were just another one of many."
"How long have you been fighting?" She asked, her hand groping the floor for a wrench until she felt someone slide it into her hand. She turned her head slightly to smile at the Mandalorian before focusing again on the web of circuits and wires.
"I've been fighting across the galaxy for 40 of your years." He made a point of saying, earning a playful glare from her. He just smiled in response. "For my people it's the honor and glory of battle that rules us. It's through combat that we prove our worth, gain renown and make our fortunes."
"Is that why you work as a mercenary now? That all Mandalorians work as mercenaries? Why don't you all help the Republic against the Sith?" She asked optimistically hoping. He chuckled, though, light and surreal.
"It's not that easy kid. Times have changed now. The Mandalore clans have been scattered across the Outer Rim, the Republic is in decline and the Sith Empire rises to take its place. The Republic would accept no help of ours, even in the scattered numbers that we are." He handed her a few other tools when he saw her hand searching for something while the other held something in place. A wire or more paneling perhaps.
He thought about how diminished he felt. He wasn't a bloodthirsty warrior. He wasn't solely after the glory of the fight but he had been so accustomed to war, to killing, to fighting to the last man that he felt out of place here in this serene place.
"The clans as they were aren't a threat, but the galaxy still fears us. They think we war out of spite, or bloodlust but they don't understand. And people fear what they don't understand. It was the challenge that we received out of battle. Crushing Davik's enemies and the pathetic gangs in the Lower City of Taris could not be considered the most glorious of tasks. It would not be something I would proudly accept as a task." He felt lost.
How was it that a Mandalorian such as himself has stooped so low as to fight meager and insignificant beings? It was beneath him. This was not what he had set out to do. How had he come to find himself stranded on Taris as he did working for the lowest of low people? What happened to him? He scooted over until he was beside Samirah, laying next to her to offer support as she struggled to move things and keep a hold on others. She smiled graciously to him as they worked in silence for a few moments, his mind wondering in self-pity at how quickly his life has spiraled into nothingness.
"It's not too late, you know." Canderous looked at her quizzically, a small smile on her face. "We may not receive the help of the whole clan, but at least we got your help. There's still much to do and I have faith that whatever the Force has in store for you… it's something worthy of you and your caliber." She turned to smile at him and he couldn't help the smile he gave her in turn, followed by a low chuckle.
"Alright kid, I hope your right. For now, you've got my help and it seems, so does this ship." She nodded as their focus returned back to the ship. The object that had occupied her attention along with the bit of conversation that she had had with Canderous. She was bound to help him feel needed again and help him fill this void she could feel emanating from him. This sadness at a loss of purpose.
She'd found herself some busy work.
She would help Canderous. That would keep her mind off of things along with fixing this ship up to pristine working order. She found a piece of her old life. Only a shard, but something to slow her rapidly beating heart as her mind processed all the changes thus far. She was no longer a scout.
She was a Jedi.
"Admiral, I understand the necessity of returning to the fleet. I do. But something is happening here. Something big and I think they're going to need all of the help they can get." Carth stood quietly in front of the hologram of Admiral Dodonna.
The war was evident on her face. Carth could see the years of strain it had put on her, especially over the past few months since he last saw her. Her grey eyes were just as piercing and calculating as they watched him through the hologram, her flawless posture intimidating and her head held high despite their current status in the war.
Admiral Dodonna was the very essence of a perfectionist. Her uniform was spotless. Every button gleaming, every medal in perfect alignment and not a single hair out of place. She was an old woman but that hardly even mattered when it came down to her. She may not be young in years but she still had the vigor and the strength of any young woman in the galaxy. She was a real symbol of strength and courage.
"Are you certain about this, Onasi?" She asked him quietly. "The Republic could really use your skills right now. With Malak gaining more allies, I fear we may be in a far worse situation then we were to believe at the beginning. Revan was our main threat but with the Dark Lord gone, Malak has become just as bad. We need your help." Though her words were on the verge of pleading , her face remained neutral.
"I understand Admiral but I believe that whatever they are planning here is going to be crucial to the war efforts. It has to be. It may be the edge we need to win this fight." She nodded her head, letting out a long sigh as she did so, closing her eyes.
"I sure hope you know what you're doing, Onasi." There was real sincerity in her words. She may be a hard woman, tough on the inside and on the outside, but she and Carth always managed to get along. She trusted him and his judgments. It may have been hard to do sometimes but he had proved his worth, time and time again.
"So do I, Admiral."
"I have never doubted you and have no reason to do so now. If this feels important to you than I have no doubt that it is. Your absence will not go unnoticed. Keep me posted." He nodded as the transmission ended and he fell back into a chair.
Did he know what he was doing? He didn't even know what the Council had in store yet. All he got from Samirah was that they had uncovered something that would, if they followed the trail, explain Revan's fall to the dark side. A piece of a map. Samirah had seemed a little distracted whenever she spoke of the temple but she always played it off as being tired and in need of recovery. At first, it worked and Carth believed her but something… something kept bothering him. She wasn't focused and he was almost positive that she was sometimes so far lost in thought that she wasn't even there. It was like her body was there but her eyes would lose their shine, their focus—their color.
Her chocolate brown eyes would shift colors, changing from that lustrous color to a dull, hazel color. He always knew when it happened. That shift in color clued him in whenever something happened. Whatever it was, he knew she would be reluctant to tell him and whenever he asked her, she proved him right by playing it off. He let it be but he became very wary and decided to keep a close eye on her. He had made the decision not to pester her with so many questions and would just keep quiet. He didn't want to upset her but the fact of the matter was still present. Something was off. And it was more than just a simple color change in her eyes and loss of focus.
Something was going on and he bet it had to do with the temple.
The sound of someone clearing their throat pulled him from his thoughts. He turned to see a Padawan he didn't recognize standing in the door way. His hands were fastened behind his back, his black hair short with a long braid of hair tucked behind his ear. He was a little nervous standing aboard the mysterious ship and seemed even more nervous looking at Carth.
"Uh, pardon me sir but… but I was hoping I could find Padawan Samirah here." He asked nervously, his eyes darting around.
"She isn't here at the moment. Last I saw her she was trying to find something to fix on the ship, is there something I can help you with?" Carth offered as nicely as he could. It was apparent that the kid felt uncomfortable. He shook his head quickly.
"Uh, no, that won't be necessary. I was sent to retrieve Padawan Samirah by the Council. Padawan Bastila is already there. Excuse me…" He bowed before quickly backing away and leaving the ship as Carth stared blankly in his direction.
Samirah and Bastila only? Of course. It would be restricted to those two only. The Council never discussed delicate matters with anyone else other than their own. Again, he was left out of the loop until Samirah filled him in. He was hoping it wouldn't be long before he would actually be clued in to everything. The best he could do was wait patiently for the meeting to finish and hope for the best. He was beginning to learn a bit of patience with these people but the truth of the matter still remained.
He hated being out of the loop.
She hurried to dust herself off of all the muck as she rushed down the corridors of the enclave. She was a mess from head to toe, what perfect timing to be summoned. The boy in front of her, Titus Vapasi as she recalled, hurried with quick steps towards the chamber. She had met his acquaintance a few amount of times before, he was a very shy and timid boy. A thing the Council hoped to change. She felt sympathy for this boy because he struggled to have courage not only in himself, but in the force as well.
"The Council seemed anxious to see you, Miss. I ask not what, but only agreed to retrieve you. I'm sorry for troubling you…" he apologized as they reached the door. She stopped in front of him and leaned forward so that she was at eye level with him. He was probably thirteen or fourteen years old, still a child with much to learn.
She couldn't relate to how he felt. She was never that young, trying to learn to be Jedi. How close was she to this being her permanent lifestyle when she was a child? Could this have been her? He had a long road ahead of him she was sure. She wanted to hug the poor boy and give him strength she wished she had.
"Titus…" He was avoiding eye contact until she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Relax. You do not have to apologize. It was your task to retrieve me and was the will of the Council to do so."
"Uh, y-y-yes ma'am." He stuttered. She smiled warmly at him, making him blush and avoid eye contact again.
"Now go study and work hard for me, ok? I want to be able to see you a fully fledged Jedi and I know you have the ability to do it. If you need any help, don't hesitate to ask. I will do all that I can to help you, Padawan Titus." His face lit up as his bright blue eyes met hers, nodding excitedly. He ran away quickly and she waited until he was out of sight before turning to face the doors to the Council.
This was it. Their verdict was ready.
She opened the doors and slowly walked in to find Bastila already standing before the Council. They turned at the sound of her arrival. Bastila only semi turned to watch Samirah enter, her arms crossed over her chest before returning her attention back to the Council. They had apparently been discussing certain matters before her arrival. No doubt about their conclusion about the map.
"Padawan Samirah," Vandar began in a humble tone. Always so kind and calm when he spoke. "It is good that you have returned to us. We have discussed this matter intently. You have done well in discovering the Star Map hidden within the ancient ruins. But there is more you must do in the battle against Malak and the Sith."
"More?" She questioned suspiciously. He nodded slowly.
"We Jedi know victory over the Sith will not come through martial might. The Council has a mission for you, Padawan." She already had a feeling it wasn't going to be good. They didn't want to train her some more? They certainly wouldn't send her to chase Malak… would they? It would be suicide.
"I have consulted our vast archives in an effort to discover the nature of this 'Star Forge', but all my efforts have been in vain." Dorak spoke solemnly and Samirah noted the dark circles beneath his eyes. He must have been up many nights searching all the possible places such information could be found. The fact that not a single thing could be traced was a disheartening thought.
"Still," Vrook began, a fierce look still lingering in his old eyes. "The Council are in agreement: the Star Forge must be found! Revan and Malak sought it out when they began their tragic fall; the Star Forge is surely a powerful tool of the dark side." His words were cold and careful, no different then his usual tone of voice as he watched her.
"The Star Map in the ruins showed you four planets," Vandar said, his eyes pulling away from Vrook to look kindly at her. "But it was incomplete. It did not show the location of the Star Forge itself. We believe there may be similar Star Maps on other planets. Each Star Map is likely a small piece of a larger puzzle. Find the Star Maps on Kashyyyk, Tatooine, Manaan and Korriban and we believe they will lead you to the Star Forge."
"You want me to find them?" Samirah said incredulously. "With all due respect Council members but do you not believe it is better if you sent a more experienced Jedi or—or—or Bastila? Someone trained better?" She questioned in shock. Vandar just smiled.
"The bond between Bastila and you is strong. It will not only strengthen your knowledge and connection to the Force but it will strengthen you both. As a Jedi, you will learn better by actually doing rather than simply just seeing. There is much to learn from the galaxy that we cannot teach."
"What Master Vandar means to say," Vrook interrupted impatiently, "Is that as a Padawan, you require first-hand experience in actions rather than just knowledge."
"Is it not a gamble to send me though? I'm only but a neophyte here." She countered, not meaning to be disrespectful but wanting to understand.
"Yes, but your connection to the Force is great. The Force does indeed work through you like no other and thus, we have chosen you. The Force wills it as so." Vandar spoke, nodding his head at her. He seemed to be amused by something and she guessed it was in his nature to find amusement in odd places.
"The Jedi numbers have been ravaged," As he said this, his face fell a bit in despair, "by this war, by defections to Malak's cause and by Sith assassins. But we realize the importance of this mission. Yet if we sent a company of Jedi Knights with you we would surely draw the full attention of Malak and the Sith, dooming your efforts to failure."
She nodded, conceding to their will. Who was she to argue with them?
"Secrecy is our best defense against the Sith, but it would be foolish to send you on this quest without someone to aid you, Padawan. Bastila will accompany you, for there is a powerful connection between you two… a connection that might be the key to unraveling the mysteries uncovered by Revan." Vandar said before his smile returned ever so slightly.
"And Juhani has also asked to accompany you." At the sound of that, both Samirah and Bastila looked at the Master with wide, shocked eyes. Speechless at the addition of the woman Samirah had met at the Grove.
"After long deliberation we have granted her request." Before either of them could open their mouths—Samirah to ask why and Bastila to protest—Vrook quickly cut them off with a quick, hard look and his sharp tone.
"Juhani nearly fell to the dark side." He reminded. "Perhaps her presence will serve as a reminder to you of the dangers of that path." His eyes remained on Samirah as if he doubted her and for some reason, this upset her a great deal. Why was he so certain of this?
"Of course," Vandar spoke up, his eyes a warning to Vrook before showing the kindness again to Samirah, "those who aided you on Taris will also come; they possess skills you may find useful in your quest. Remember that secrecy and discretion are paramount to your success. You will not be able to hide the fact that you are Jedi, nor should you. But the true nature of your mission must not reach Malak's ears." He warned.
"Yes, Master." She obeyed, lowering her eyes in nervousness. She wasn't ready for this. None of this. What happened to her plans? To her old life? What happened? How did she get sucked into this… this nightmare? She wasn't meant to be a Jedi. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. So then how did it happen? It was official. Her old life was over.
"You may return here at any time, Padawan Samirah. Do not fret." Vandar said kindly, earning her gaze again. "Dantooine will be a sanctuary for you, a safe haven. Here you can find supplies and whatever advice or other aid we may give you. We are here for you, if need be." He assured her and that somehow seemed to lift a bit of the weight off her shoulders. She wouldn't be doing this alone. All her life, she was always alone. The only person aboard her ship unless she was transporting travelers in return for their aid.
She smiled at that. She wasn't going to be alone. She had the entire crew of the Ebon Hawk to help her so long as they were willing to stay. She knew Bastila would be with her... and Carth. This wasn't a task she could do by herself and she was so grateful that she didn't have to. Perhaps her old life really was over: the lonely journeys, the quiet meals, the aftermath of some battle with no one to pat you on the back and say that was some quick thinking. You really did an excellent job. She didn't require praise but every now and then it would have been nice to have someone pick her up when she couldn't move or tell her how good she was doing.
She never had that.
She felt relieved but also felt a wave of fear. Fear at this change. She'd have to hide as best she could the fear she had about this upcoming journey. She'd never taken on such a task before. She'd never had visions of Dark Lords and their descent into the darkness. Change was one thing but this was something on a whole new scale.
One problem at a time, Samirah, she chastised herself. One problem at a time. We'll do this one step at a time and figure out how to handle it all. Right now, just keep moving forward.
"Yes, Master. Thank you for the hospitality and for all that you have given me. I will not squander it and I will not fail you." She promised though in her heart, she already felt the doubts. The images that plagued her, the fear of having to go against so much, the weight that was now placed on her—she was scared.
"You can leave whenever you wish," Vrook said but she knew he didn't mean what he said. He didn't want her to wait at all. They were in a hurry for her to find the Star Forge. "The sooner the better. The longer you wait the stronger Malak becomes. But first a warning, young Padawan."
She caught his eyes and she could already see the urgency in them. He wanted her to take him seriously and he meant every word that he said. His blue eyes held hers for a very long time, causing her to fidget a little. "The lure of the dark side is difficult to resist. I fear this quest to find the Star Forge could lead you down an all too familiar path."
She blinked at him, his words striking some chord deep inside her. Was he referring to her time as a Scout? She'd never known the dark side but she had known evil. She had never faced anything like the darkness you felt as a Jedi. That slithery feeling across your skin, the sweet whispers that promised you anything and everything—she had known nothing of this until she had become a Jedi. To her, evil was what you found in the dark corners of Nar Shaddaa or in the heads of crime lords who killed for enjoyment. For no reason at all.
The Dark Side was worse. She'd never known anything like it before.
Their eyes were locked for several moments, his message replaying in her head several times before Master Vandar broke the tension. Though, even as he spoke, she could feel Master Vrook's piercing eyes watching her with an intensity that made her feel small in the spacious room full of powerful Jedi Masters.
"The fate of the galaxy is in your hands, young Padawan. We pray you are up to the challenge." He said with hope and faith weaved into every word. He had faith in them. In her. The pressure was a lot and the task even bigger. "May the Force be with you, Padawan Samirah." He finished as the other Master's murmured the same.
Master Zhar smiled at her, handing her a small holocron.
"May this serve as a token to remind you of your courage and your strength. Whenever you feel lost and unsure, let this be your guide." He offered and she slowly accepted it. It was a beautiful turquoise cube that had speckles of silver throughout it. A light illuminated the inside as an intricate pattern of designs were encrusted all around the box that fit snugly in her hand. She looked at Master Zhar with a smile and nodded.
"Thank you… Master. I will take good care of it, I promise." He nodded with a small smile on his face. A smile of admiration.
"I know you will, Padawan. Do not lose yourself on this journey. It will become hard and when it does, know that we have faith in you and know you will do what is right. The Force will guide you so long as you let it."
"I will." She nodded before she and Bastila slowly turned to leave the chambers.
Carth stood at the edge of the hangar, leaning against the wall as he watched Samirah talk to some Twi'lek who had apparently been waiting for her. He was growing ever more impatient as he waited but he vowed to keep cool. He wouldn't pester her like he had before. He would keep a calmness about him. He was going to have to accept that he wasn't ever in the loop. He never knew what was going on when it came down to the Jedi.
Canderous was wiping his hands clean of oil and whatever other gunk had been found in the contents under the ship. Quite frankly, he didn't want to know what it was but it felt good to work on something other than the Swoop Bike. He wiped the small trickle of blood from his arm where the panel had cut him. A small cut but nothing worth attention and hardly noticeable. He leaned against the other side of the door next to Carth as he followed his gaze to see Samirah speaking to another Jedi. Carth was aware of the unwelcomed presence but chose to ignore it. He really didn't have anything to say to the Mandalorian.
"Seems like the kids finished her meeting already, doesn't it." He spoke calmly and matter-of-factly.
"Yeah. So it would seem." Carth's voice was clipped and forceful almost. Canderous just chuckled as he checked his arms for any signs of the muck that he may have missed.
"Listen Soldier boy. I know you're worried about—"
"—Worried? I'm not worried. About anything." He said with a little more venom in his words than he would have liked but he was at the moment, not in any mood to bump chests with Canderous. He had nothing to prove.
"Right, sure you aren't." Canderous said with a smug expression before turning to leave once he saw that Bastila and Samirah had finished their talks with the Twi'lek. "That scrunched up expression of yours says otherwise. Take my advice and—"
"—I don't need your advice." Canderous stopped to look at him but shrugged before continuing on his way to the showers.
"Your call Soldier boy." How he loved to tease Carth. He may not be on the front lines of some war that didn't really matter but it was worth it if he could play with this pilot. "But if you keep that hard expression of yours on your face, you'll scare the kid off." He mused.
Carth turned to glare at him but only saw Canderous' back as he walked away to find a hot shower. That only infuriated him more.
Bastila and Samirah were murmuring to each other as they boarded the Ebon Hawk, their hushed tones bugging him even more but he vowed to not say a word. He backed out of the way, allowing them to pass by, unobstructed by his curiosity and irritation by the silence. They both stopped once they were aboard the ship and looked at him. They were both shocked for a moment at the eeriness of his silence but Bastila chose to ignore it. There were more important matters to attend to at the moment.
"Carth, alert the crew that we are to leave shortly and that their presence is required back aboard the ship if they are to leave with us." Bastila spoke with finality as Samirah nodded.
"They've assigned us with the task of finding the remaining Star Maps." She said in a hushed tone but loud enough to be heard. Bastila shot her a glance, not particularly fond of the fact that she was freely giving out details. She thought Carth should just accept what he was given and be done with it.
Carth's hands were still crossed over his chest as he watched them both carefully.
They were leaving the enclave? Did the Council really decide that they were to go on this mission? Samirah was still just a newcomer to the ranks of being a Jedi. Yes, she had progressed well through the ranks and at an amazing pace but surely they wouldn't send her out on a mission that could prove to be pivotal to the war efforts… would they? That was a huge risk in more than just one way.
"And to where, may I ask, are we going?" Bastila had started to walk away and only stopped briefly to look over her shoulder at him.
"Kashyyyk." Samirah's body tensed when Bastila revealed the place she had decided to visit next. She didn't even give Samirah the option of choosing. Samirah didn't even have time to voice a plea out to change her mind before Bastila had already disappeared from her sights.
Carth said nothing as he clenched his fists and made his way to the cockpit of the ship once Bastila was out of sight. Apparently he was wrong. They were going to send her even though everything screamed that she was too inexperienced as a Jedi to do so, with or without Bastila. Samirah scurried behind him as he began transmitting a message to the crew of the Ebon Hawk that they were required aboard the ship so that they may take off. Samirah tried to keep her thoughts calm and collected as they hurried to the end of the ship. Carth immediately sat down at the controls as Samirah hesitantly began to plan their new route to Kashyyyk. The Wookiee home world. She wasn't sure she was ready to visit Kashyyyk quite yet.
She finished the coordinates before she moved to sit next to Carth in the co-pilot chair to run a quick diagnostics test on the Ebon Hawk to make sure she was fit for flight especially after Samirah had gone beneath the ship and started a bit of her own tinkering down there. She was keying in the commands and letting it run its test when the quietness of the room struck her. Carth wasn't asking any questions. In actuality, he hadn't been asking much of anything lately and that was unnerving her. Carth always had something to say and right now, she could really use his playful teasing to help keep her mind off the things at present.
Like Kashyyyk.
"You've been very quiet, lately, you know that? It's a little strange to be honest." She was going for a light and teasing tone, glancing at him from out of the corner of her eyes. To her disappointment, she didn't seem to succeed in lightening the mood. He was quiet for a moment more as he prepped the ship for takeoff.
"Have I been quiet? I suppose I have. I guess I just don't like being left out of the loop." He answered a little cynically and straight to the point. His tone caught her off guard as she turned around to actually face him in her chair, the diagnostics completely forgotten and her tone full of shock.
"I'm not the one leaving you out of the loop, Carth. I've been trying—"This time, he spun in his chair to look at her.
"No? Well, you certainly aren't helping matters any, either, and it's really starting to irritate me." He spat, not meaning to take his frustration out on her but he couldn't help it anymore. He reached a breaking point and she happened to be on the receiving end of it."For one thing, I want to know what the Jedi Council said to you. They pulled you in there and refused to tell me a thing about it. I couldn't even go in or be a part of any of it."
"Carth… I'm sorry you feel left out. They thought it was more important that I help find the Star Maps than stay here." She looked away and tried to preoccupy herself with the diagnostic testing, well aware of Carth's penetrating gaze as he watched her carefully.
"And why is that? You were a great help on Taris, but why would they keep you with us? Don't they… don't they have to train you or something?" She looked up at him again, pausing in her motions momentarily.
"I am trained." She said a little defensive. He shook his head.
"You know what I mean, Samirah. You… you are a trained Jedi but it's not enough. It's not like you've been here since birth or childhood. You haven't been training for years with even more years of hands on training to back it all up. You're still new to it all." He argued, still irritated at everything. It didn't make sense and he wished someone would somehow be able to say something that would make it make sense.
"I've done pretty well so far…" She said in a small voice, breaking eye contact. Her fingers lay motionless a top the keys. She was feeling small again. Like a child being told she wasn't big enough to go off world yet or to even go to a swoop race by herself.
"That's completely beside the point. The Jedi encouraged you to stay with us, and I don't believe the reasons they gave. Not one bit. You're a neophyte Padawan who's been saddled with the responsibility of tracking down these Star Maps. Why? That's not normal!" Her head snapped back up to look at him in surprise, and slightly hurt. He held his hands up in defense to try and reword what he just said.
"Look, I'm not trying to provoke you or imply that you're somehow responsible for the Jedi Council… but give me a hand here, Samirah! There has to be a reason!" Her mouth dropped open as she spun to completely face him again, taking a moment to collect herself before speaking.
"So what? I can't handle this? Are you saying I'm not needed? That it's too much for me?" Her voice was low and sounded like she was extremely hurt by the accusation.
"No, I don't… I didn't mean that you can't do this, or that- that you weren't wanted, or that I want to go! It's just… damn it!" He shouted. "I'll tell you this much… I am not going to wait around until I'm betrayed again!" He slammed his fist into the console for emphasis on his point. He wasn't going to let her turn this around on him. Not again.
"Look, I am not going to betray you! What's it going to take to prove to you that I won't betray you! I am not Saul!" She stood up out the chair so quickly that if it wasn't bolted into the floor, it would have flipped backwards, crashing into the metal. Carth turned his head back to the computer in front of him in an attempt to avoid eye contact with her. He was frustrated. Beyond frustrated and he really didn't need this. Any of it. She didn't understand.
"Well, we'll just see about that, won't we?"
The moment the words left his mouth, he regretted ever saying them.
He didn't want to look at her now. He already knew it would be a look of shock. "Look, I didn't mean it that way. I want to get to Saul, not…no… no, forget it. It seems all I can do is insult you, isn't it? Just forget I said anything. Let's… let's… just get on with what we were doing, ok?"
He was done.
"Ok, fine. How about you do it yourself? I don't think you need me here…" Her voice broke on the last word which made him turn to look at her. He figured his words had hurt her but when he turned to actually look at her, his voice caught in his throat.
Her eyes were watering as she fought to keep herself from letting the water spill over. She tried to keep a strong face on but it was hard to accomplish. She couldn't do it. She needed to leave. Right now. She turned away quickly , hiding her face in her hair as she hastily hurried away from the cockpit, trying to hide the shock and pain she felt at his insinuation.
"Samirah! Wait!" His voice was a choked cry to her but she ignored him and walked away. He sat in his chair, frozen as he thought about what he had just done.
He should know better by now. Had she not proved herself enough times to assure him that betrayal was something not found in her heart? Her heart, of all hearts, had no darkness in it. Why had he brought Saul back into this? He was mad at the Council, not her. The Council had nothing to do with Saul either. He had hurt her.
As she hurried to find her cot, she rubbed away the tears that had spilled over and tried to ignore the aching pain in her chest. It wouldn't have hurt so bad if it wasn't Carth who had told her. She had figured that everything was fixed and that maybe, just maybe, they were on equal ground but it didn't seem so. He still saw her as a traitor in waiting. That at a drop of the hat, she'd switch sides and leave him wondering why. It hurt her. It shocked her. It upset her.
It angered her.
Why couldn't he see her as someone good? As a friend? As an ally? Was she nothing to him but a traitor waiting for the optimal moment to pull the rug from beneath their feet?
She spun around the corner that led to the rooms when someone stepped out of the refresher and directly in her bath. Both were surprised when Samirah ran right smack into their chest, nearly knocking herself backwards when they caught hold of her elbows.
"Whoa, slow down their kid. It isn't a swoop race, now is it?" Canderous chuckled until he got a good look at her. Her red eyes and the small trails of water that signified tears. He lifted an eyebrow at her, merely curious. "Hey, what's wrong with you?"
"N-nothing." She stammered, trying to pull free from him. "I just... I just got something-" before she could think of an excuse, it happened again. Suddenly she wasn't aboard the Ebon Hawk.
She was aboard a different ship. It was slightly bigger in size and more spacious. She- or the someone whose eyes she was looking through- was pacing back and forth. She could feel their uneasiness, their thoughts cluttered with ideas and theories. They rubbed their head in irritation when a voice called out.
"Revan, you'll gain nothing by pacing back and forth." She- Revan, not herself she reminded, spun around to look at him. To look at Malak.
A shiver was sent down Samirah's body. She was in the Dark Lords memories again, a place she never wanted to be. An imprint of the Dark Lord must have been left in the Force and sense Samirah had such a strong connection to the Force and was following the Dark Lords trail... she was being given a glimpse.
And she didn't want to. In this memory, this vision of Revan, she felt the power of the Dark Lord and wondered... if she would somehow find herself sucked into the Darkness just like Revan was.
She would be swallowed up and lost. Looking at Malak through Revan's eyes... she knew that they had no idea what they were getting themselves into. A completely pure thought and idea such as finding the Star Forge changed into the revival of the Sith. It nearly destroyed them all.
And that scared Samirah.
End of chapter!
Again, i'm really sorry about delaying this chapter so much but if its any consolation, i've begun the next chapter already (amazing, right?) and its projected release date is about a week and a half, the latest being two weeks. I'm holding myself to that and wish not to delay this any longer than possible because i know you guys are anxious for this story to get a move on already!
So if you could please review and tell me how i did, any comments, advice or just taking stabs at the characters and their quirkiness: all is appreciated! Thanks so much guys! I really appreciate it! 3
Until next time my fellow readers,
~~SS~~
