Author Note

Konichiwa!

Finally, I managed to post this story. I wanted to make a prologue but I don't think it matters too much. I tried to explain the situation in this chapter so who wanted to consider the first chapter as prologue you can go on. Why did I write this? Well, I like IF questions so the story is built on one of them.

I didn't finish planning yet so I don't know how long it'll be. Hopefully I'll finish that soon. The title means For What Was Broken.(goggle's help of course)

Anyway, enjoy and tell me what you think. I need that guys"

Disclaimer: I guess I don't own Digimon. Not now. Not ever.


Kowarete Ita Nani No Tame Ni

For What was Broken

Chapter One

Lost between my Emotions

"Why am I here?''

He asked himself the same painful, plain question for what could be the millionth time but his mind had always came with a simple 'It doesn't matter'. Eventually, he gave up.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

Everything had completely fallen apart before his eyes three weeks ago; three lonely weeks. He couldn't believe what had happened…none of it. In fact his life had always been miserable but at a point he managed to accept how pathetic it was but this new change was a real life changing event. He couldn't even find a proper word to describe it nor could he understand why that man came to the orphanage and took him away. He had been used to adoption but this time it was different

No!

He shook his head, refusing to believe that the unbelievable illusion he lived in for more than eleven years had collapsed. The man that left his mom to die in front of his eyes. That man who left him for those years came now to righten things.

That man was his father.

He could feel his shaggy breathes, his hearts' hopeless pleads to stop working. Honestly, he himself begged his over-worked heart to rest in peace forever but even his own body refused to end everything. Cold sweet covered his forehead as a sign of his increased temperature. His right hand shivered as he put it on his chest to make sure that he was alive…not that he would mind being dead. His other hand clutched the white sheets of his cold bed. The room was lit with an artificial dim source of light that had lighten the place but not the feelings of its inhabitabts. His new room consisted of twin beds with a drower between them. On the opposite wall, a large white closest and a studying desk for the original owner of the room. His eyes were tired from seeing the same things whenever he opened his eyes so he closed them tiredly.

'It's okay,' soothed a now-familiar feminine voice.

He raised his head weakly and looked at her sincere eyes. The woman he was living in her house now and the same woman that took his father from him and his dead mother smiled at him warmly. The irony was in how kind she was to him unlike the people he had dealt with in his painful past and unlike the people who were supposed to be nice to him; his family.

'How do you feel, Kouichi-kun?

He meant to say that he was okay but his body betrayed him forcing him to cough loudly. For precious seconds, he couldn't breath no matter how he tried.

His tired gaspes alarmed the brown-short woman in front of him.

'I'll call the doctor,' she intended to leave but his tired voice stopped her.

'I'm fine,' he managed to whisper softly and rested his head on the bed head.

'But-'

'I'm fine, Minamoto-san,' he repeated in the same quiet voice, gazing at the ceiling.

'Don't call me that dear. I'm only Satomi, okay?' she said sweetly and stroked his hair.

Kouichi shifted his tired stare to the sheets and refused to look at her. His sad, devastated devastated expression forced her to pull her hand. 'I know it's hard on you but you should get used to your new life.'

He desperately knew that and it hurt but he couldn't shake the surreality of all of it. He whispered. ' When are you going to send me back?'

'Back? Where?' she blinked in confusion.

'The orphanage.'

His answer was bitter and cold as his voice trembled. He spit it as fast as he could as if it was a forbidden curse. The orphanage, the place he lived in for more than seven years. The hell hole that witnessed his tears and pain. The place where they treat children as sources of money... as if they were toys. The children were the ones who took care of themselves and eachother. Those who wanted to adopt a child from there had to pay a massive amount of money as if it were the price of the child. It didn't matter even if it wasn't a proper family or a suitable foster house as long as they pay and in his case as long as they…take him back to the orphanage. Once adopted other children wouldnt go back to the orphange unlike him. He had to be sent back after three months...wheather that was a blessing or a curse he didnt know. He had always survived reminding himself that no matter how bad his foster house was, he'd leave soon. He'd go back to the orphange and hope that he wouldn't meet the monster causing him the suffering again. It had worked for years but it was no longer right. No one had been so interested in him to pay that amout of money twice. He hugged himself tightly, breaths fearful and unstsble. It wasn't the case anymore and he was terrified to even remember.

'What? You'd never go there again!' Satomi shivered slightly at the thought, her voice shaken and raged partially at the place but more at her own husband. She believed him when he told her that he didn't know what happened to his ex-wife and the child with her but that didn't mean she couldn't blame him.

'You'll send me back. It had always been like this.' a ghost of a broken smile curled his trembling lips. 'Stop lying to me, please.'

The mere thought of going back to that place was torturing. A part of him didnt care about all those changes as long as he could stay away from that pit of hell. He was ready to do anything they ask him to as long as they wouldnt take him back but it seemed insignificant. He wasn't wanted here and he'd be thrown away soon.They would leave him regardless of how he behaved then why were they giving him false hope? He got so sick of hopeless lies.

She shook her head softly, a sympathetic look in her eyes. 'This's different. We'd never let them take you again.We're your family!'

'Are you?'

The question was desperate that her heart cried at the way it was asked. She bit her lower lip and gazed at the floor shamefully. None of them acted like a family to him. She couldn't even gather the courage to reassure the lost child. They were far from how a family should be.

'Then why am I here? he murmured to himself again, taking the silence as an answer. ' Why did you take me if none of you wanted me. I wish I died with 'Kaa-san. That would make everyone happy.'

He didn't know how many times he wished that. He was four years when she died due to sickness and lack of everything; only two years after the divorce. She promised him in that chilly night that she would sleep and would wake up later to play with him before going to work and he believed her, sleeping beside her and later panicking when she didn't awake as she promised. As a four-year old child, he didn't recognize what death meant till one of those whom his mother was in his debt came to take his money and found a child, crying over his mother's cold body, asking her to wake and play with him. They took her from him and sent him there. All those years, he waited his father to take him home but he never came and when he finally did he didnt try to act like a father should.

His father's wife and officially his adopted mom now looked away and sighed sadly at the child's depression, which was similar to another one's attitude but instead of depression anger took control.

The awkward silence controlled the air again, allowing loud yells to reach them.

Both of them knew who were fighting and why. No matter what the reason for the original fight was, it always reached that point.

'Don't lie to me! He's here to polish your nasty image,' came an angry, frustrated voice which became too familiar to Kouichi.

'Kouji, you should be more respectful,' an older male voice replied in a poorly collected manner.

'Why should I? You lied to me all those years and brought him here for your own selfish reasons,' Kouji snarled.

'Kouji, he is your-'

'I don't care. You didn't care when you left him in the orphanage. Why the hell do you ask me to?

'Kouji!'

'I had enough of you and him and that woman.'

'Kouji, don't be rude! Satomi loves you and you know that.'

'I don't want her or even you. I wish all of you would rot in hell.'

'Would shouting make you feel better?' Kousei shook his head and reasoned calmly much to Kouji's disdain.

'Shut up!'

Those who heard the same quarrels everyday knew how it'll end eventually either with Kouji leaving the house or his father giving up and burying himself in his office room for additional work.

'He hates me.'

The soft voice alarmed Satomi for it came completely different from the others downstairs.

'No, he's just confused and angry. This is his only way to express his frustration. It was a shock to him. Believe me, he's not heartless as he seems. Just give him time.'

His hand rose unconsciously to touch his right red cheek. She gave him a sympathetic look and sighed. 'but I can't believe he did that. Your father'll make him apologize.'

'He doesn't want me. He wishes I died with mom. She died because she worked too hard to support me.'

'He didn't mean it.'

'I'm the reason she is dead. I deserve all of this,' he whimpered bitterly.

"Of course you do. You're worthless and your lifec has no meaning."

The sick voice from his nightmares echoed in his head and he trembled violently, an attempt to block the terrifying laughter failed. A sadistic smirk twisted in front of him as the shapeless image of the monster that destroyed him came closer. His heart beats grow faster and the breaths became shallow and painful.He pressed himself towards the wall, curling like a ball of fur, trying desperately to vanish...to forget everything. It was pointless though. He'd be back there to be sold and tortued again.

'No! Stay away!' he shouted to the non existent figure. The change in attitude sent chills to the sitting woman. The boy clutched his shirt tightly and gasped for air, his eyes unfocused with blur vision and hot tears. He could no lobger distinguish between reality and illusion

She shook him worridly but he pulled away like a scared kitten, his whimpers were muffled in a pathetic attempt to make his voice and as a result his presence invisible. He didn't respond to her frantic calls. 'Kouichi-kun! Say something. Kouichi kun!'

Her cries along with his increasing panicked sobs mingled with the others' continues yells downstairs.

'I didn't expect you to do that, Kouji,' Kousei Minamoto said, trying and failing to control his anger.

'Do I look like a good boy to you?' Kouji roared.

His father sighed in desperation and said in a calmer voice.' Kouji, he is sick. Try to understand that.'

'Oh, I wonder why you didn't,' Kouji glared coldly.

'I didn't know and he wasn't sick when the divorce happened,' he said the last few words quickly, ashamed of himself but Kouji didn't pay that any attention as he growled like a wolf.

'Liar! You knew all that time but when your damned co-worker wanted to adopt a child from there he told you how one of the children there look like me. You were worried that your reputation would collapse if someone discovered that you left your son in an orphanage.'

'Kouji, I'm a lawyer and trust is the most important thing I need. Our life would go upside down if anyone knew. I feel sorry for what happened but I swear I didn't know.I thought he was dead.'

'You hate him and mom so stop acting like you cared.'

'And that is your excuse to hurt him.'

'You did that more than me so why couldn't I share you the fun.'

'For God's sake, he is your brother, Kouji. Your twin. 'Kousei shouted in irritation and sat on the couch, trying to regain the energy for another round.

'No evidence for that!' Kouji muttered quietly and clenched his fists. His tone was hoarse and different from his previous growls as if he was hesitant to utter his thoughts.

'What?' his father chocked with a hint of pure shame in his eyes.

'I saw you on the day you brought him here. You…You burned every single certificate or legal paper he had.'

The look his father gave had confirmed his accusation as he continued. 'You burned everything that proves his identity. In other words, he is officially a 'child from streets'. That's what people call them, right?'

'You don't understand. I have my reasons.'

'He isn't my brother in your law's point of view. You wanted him as an adopted child and nothing more. You don't care about him.

'I do care; Kouji, but I can't lose what I built in years. I'll give him a better life and think about that my way what will your classmates say if they knew you had a brother that lived most of his life in an orphanage.'

'Don't involve me into this.' Kouji shouted in increased fury.

'This will get us no where.' Kousei rubbed his brow, impatience visible in his voice.

Kouji's temper reached its peak as he hit the table in front of his father and exploded. 'Why did you bring him here? Stop controlling my life and dragging whoever you want into it! I hate you and that woman and even that bastard-'

'Enough! '

The one who shouted wasn't his father. They looked behind them to see Satomi who was crying desperately.

'Enough!' she repeated, putting her hand on her mouth to muffle her sobs.

Kousei approached her and put a comforting arm around her shoulders in a pathetic attempt to sooth her but her brown eyes kept focusing on her step-son who looked away.

'I'm just a stranger and you've every right to hate me but he is not. You know nothing about his suffering,' she wept. 'I know how angry and frustrated you are but he doesn't deserve that. Don't hurt him you too. He had nothing to hold on, Kouji. '

She glanced at her husband quicky, fear and worry controlled her words. 'You should call a doctor. Hecollapsed again.'

Now that they were silent they coukd hear the panicked screams from the second floor

'I did,' Kousei bit his lip anxiously, glaring at Kouji angrily. 'After the mess Kouji caused. The doctor'll be here in few minutes.'

Kouji cursed under his breath, buried his fists into his pockets and walked towards the door without looking at them.

'Kouji! Come back!'

He ignored his father's call and stormed outside. The door's slam answered his parents' worried shouts …again.


His eyes gazed at the at the darkening sky blankly, ignoring the drops of rain on his body.

'Mama!'

He would never use that tone especiaĺly after the lies and the half-truths they were giving him. His mother had died twice. He couldn't even remember her face except for an old picture that his father took from the boy the day he was brought to their home.

Kouichi. His name was similar to his own and felt so familiar despite how much he tried to deny that. When he was younger, he used to dream about two identical children but the dreams faded till they became next to nothing. A hidden part of him had always longed fora brothe but when that brother came, he brought painful truths and sorrowful memories. If one asked him about his new found brother, he would simply describe him as a broken and lost child. Someone who had lost everything. He lowered his gaze to his hand which was throbbing with hidden guilt.

'I…I didn't mean that,' he thought regretfully. He knew mum. She died because of him.

He gritted his teeth. Do I hate him for knowing her? Jealous of someone who has nothing?

Miserable tears joined the raindrops on his pale face, leaving his torturing question unanswered.

To Be Continued...


I hope you liked the chapter "

Tell me what you think and any suggestions or criticism are much appreciated.

Kouji is kinda jerk at the beginning but who wouldn't be in such situation. It'll be much fun to play with the twins from the very beginning*evil grin*.

BTW: Kouichi's illness isn't the core point in the story but I'll explain it later, but for now it's because of his weak immune system and Kousei's words about not knowing proves that his illness isn't that serious.

Editted: 3/12/2020

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)