Author Note

Hi again.

I guess I have updated faster than usual for this story Hehe. I have roughly finished planning so this story will be about 30 chapters, however I'm not really sure(it could be less or more than that as too many ideas can be written in this one)You don't know how things could turn to once you started writing. This chapter is kinda focusing on Kouji more and it is related to the previous chapter's end.

Thanks to nena-san, shadowluvr13, Immortal Fallen Radiance, Love4dreams, yui minatsuki for their reviews and another thanks for those who added this story to their favorite list or their alerts. Etto... a big Arigato for whoever read it too. I hope you will enjoy this chapter as well. Please read and review "

Disclaimer: I guess I don't own Digimon. Not now. Not ever.


Kowarete Ita Nani No Tame Ni

For what was Broken

Chapter Two

The Shared Portrait

He walked aimlessly with one thing in his mind, getting away from everything. The rain wiped his frustrated and angry emotions for the time being, giving him a chance to reshuffle things again in his life. His body wasn't responding to the biting coldness as he kept moving.

It was too unlike him to do something like that without planning. His policy in taking descisions for every move collapsed all together after knowing how deceived he was. Thinking didn't help him to connect the dots years ago despite the painful hints his life was full of, the non existent grave of his mother, his father's stuturing whenever his mom was mentioned and the dreams he had when he was a child proved how unperceptive he was back then. Confused feelings chased him but he abandoned them for now…there will be time for them later. Is it too much to ask for the peace of his mind?

Apparently, yes, as the second he moved his feet to take another step, he found himself tumbling to the dirty ground with someone knocking him accidently. Kouji groaned in annoyance more than in pain when he opened his eyes to see the idiot that today wasn't his lucky day.

Not too bad, though. It had been long time since he tested his Kendo skills on a living thing. The last unlucky one was still in the hospital after few minutes of a hopeless fight with him and a good week of dentition for Kouji. The difference here that there was no school to punish him and he was more than free to teach whoever knocked him a lesson as long as that person wasn't a girl and he was sure about that. A girl would keep stuttering in apologize but that idiot didn't say anything till now.

'Etto…Kouji. Do you intend to sit there too long?'

He raised his head to see an extended hand. Surprisingly, he took it.

'Lucky!' Kouji muttered before standing with the other's help.

'I guess. From that look on your eyes, I think I'm. If it had been someone else you would have committed a crime' the boy said sheepishly, rubbing his hair.

'Whatever! What are you doing here anyway?'

He sighed. 'I had a fight with Shinya as usual. I'm used to running away to clear my head, you know. The one who isn't used to walk on a rainy day without an umbrella is you, Kouji.'

Kouji avoided the other's gaze but Takuya didnt back off .' You had a fight with your father…again, right?'

Kouji growled sharply. 'Mind your own problems.'

Takuya shook his head at his friend's defensive attitude. 'I hope you didn't lose control. Anyway, you can sleep over at my home tonight. We cant afford getting you sick,' Takuya offered his famous wide grin.

'Shut up! I don't need your advice, goggle-head.' The raven-haired sneered but received a surpisingly calm answer. 'Actually you need in dealing with that talking-walking mirror of yours err I mean your twin. I can't believe till now that you have one.'

'I hit him.' Kouji said abrubtly and quite badly as if he wanted to throw that heavy burden away from his chest, clenching the offended hand regretfully.

Takuya had blinked several times before the information registered to his mind. He gaped and put his hands on Kouji's shoulders firmly, shaking him angrily, 'Why? You don't hurt those who can't fight back, Kouji. That's not like you at all!'

Kouji's eyes kept focusing on the ground as he muttered softly. 'I…I didn't mean. I was too cruel and pushed him far.' he sighed and met his friend's eyes. 'It was my fault but I didn't admit it and I don't think I'd ever admit it .'

'Kouji..'

It was so easy to talk to him. At least Takuya wasn't part of his tangled family and no matter what he told him, nothing would change except the comfort he felt each time. They were friends since Kouji transferred to his school. Back then he didn't want friends or any social relations but it was rather hard to avoid Kanbara Takuya and even if he didn't tell him that now he was glad that they became friends after a good fist fight sent both of them into dentition. If Takuya hadn't been here for him he would have either collapsed or exploded. He was used to keep everything inside but recently it became too hard to survive without crying his heart out.

'I'm going home.' Kouji declared suddenly, surprising himself more than Takuya. Before Takuya could try to stop him, he muttered, not looking at him,' Your brother is already here.'

Takuya's younger brother was walking towards them hesitantly, gripping a folded umbrella while carrying an open one in his other hand. He gave his brother his umbrella and said in apologetic manner, 'I'm sorry, Onii-chan. Let's go home.'

Kouji watched their interaction silently before leaving, hands in his pockets, his shoulders stiff as if walking in a storm.

"So that's how brothers should be. We could never be brothers." He thought bitterly, masked envy clouding his mind.

Takuya nodded and ruffled his brother's short hair gently, looking at Kouji's from which disappeared behind few passing cars in the main road. "Till when will he stay lost? Sometimes he's sympathetic with that boy, however in other times I feel as if he doesn't want anything more than his twin's disappearance."


His soft steps didn't attract his father or the doctor's attention as they continued talking in the office room. He climbed the stairs calmly with his soaked clothes. Thinking about the condition he came back with, he was a tad glad that he didn't see Satomi or he would be bombarded with hundreds of worried question.

He was lying back then. Deep inside, he wanted to show his father how much he hurt him by contolling his life and Satomi's presence is one of those things his father injected into his life. He neither hated nor loved her but he certainly didn't despise her. He knew how determined and kind she was otherwise she would not bear such a life.

His room was dull as ever with the curtains down and it seemed as the cold atmosphere outside had controlled here too. The eleven-year-old child changed his clothes and put on warm pair of dark blue pajamas. Sitting in his bed, he stared at the other child on the bed next to him. Kouichi was sleeping restlessly as he breathed heavily. He wondered if he'd be all right. The screams he had heard before leaving were so painful and terrified.

"Since when I though about his wellbeing anyway! I shouldn't care." He told himself numerous times but he unitentially cared. The other's cheeks weren't pale anymore as his fever made them red, his right cheek was redder than the other because of him…

He walked towards his desk and sat on the chair, looking at his hands as the memory of the incident before few hours resurfaced, bringing with it blame and shame.

He was sitting in his desk's chair and looking at the old portrait of his mother. In attempt to palcate his anger, his father took it from the other boy but no matter how much glad Kouji was to have it, he never showed his gratitude. The kind woman in the portrait was smiling but anyone could easily catch the hint of sadness in her smile. It hurt to see that smile; her smile wasn't directed to him but to the twin who was supposed to have it.

'Kouji-kun,' a soft voice from the bed behind him reminded him of the other's presence. It had been three weeks since the other's interference in their life. In Kouji's eyes, Kouichi wasn't a family member, he was a needless, stupid decoration to his room,

'Kouji-kun, please,' the other repeated desperately, praying for Kouji's attention.

'Kun' he noticed. Brothers don't add that suffix between them but they weren't brothers. It was the first time Kouichi tried to talk to him and that needed a lots of courage whichKouji didn't think that Kouichi had but here he was calling for him.

'Kouji-kun, please'

'What?' Kouji snapped and put the portrait on his desk sharply, his angry glare sent daggers towards the other's direction. Kouichi lowered his head hesitantly then added weakly, ' Kouji-kun. Can I see the picture . Mum's picture. Please.' he looked at Kouji desperately and repeated,' Please I'll return it back…Just few moments. I…I miss her.'

No. That picture was his now. He would never give it to him even if he begged for hours.

'Please, Kouji-kun. I promise I'll give it back. Onegai!'

'She isn't your mother anymore. You've nothing to prove that,' Kouji snarled darkly. He knew very well that what his father did was not Kouichi's fault, yet he was here blaming him. What surprised him was Kouichi's firm protest. I don't need a paper to link me to 'kaa-san. She's always by my side and she'll never leave me alone.'

'You allowed others to adopt you, to be your family and you abandoned her. Why would she love someone like you?'

It was a dirty move and by the tortured look on the other's face, he knew that he had hit him deeper than his intention.

Kouichi breathed harder, gaze hard and pained and his voice strained and broken.'She loves me…I had no one else.You are the one who abandoned her.'

He cried, his face red with anger and a shadow of humilation, causing Kouji to take a step back in surprise. 'You and your father left us alone…she died because no one was there. No one to care about us. If you had tried to find her, if your father had asked about her, she would have stayed alive but no one cared.'

The other's protest enraged him and fueled his anger and frustration and before knowing it he slapped Kouichi mercilessly, causing the fragile body to fall on the bed harshly. He didn't stop there. He pinned him to the bed rougly and grasped his wrests firmly, glaring at him coldly. ' Why did you appear in my life? Dad will dump you somewhere or send you back.'

The horrified look in Kouichi's eyes was startling as he tried to get away from the other's grip. He shook his head slowly, tears rolled on his cheeks but they looked terrified more than sorrowful. 'Please not again. I'd do anything but don't send me back. Anywhere else but not there. Please.'

Kouji was momentarily taken back by the motion yet instead of releasing his grip he tightened it, eliciting a low hiss of pain from his brother. Kouichi breathed heavily. 'You'd hurt me like everyone else. I had no one else. All I wanted was…a life.' He closed his eyes and gasped for air, 'and a family…'

Lost in his personal turmoil, he roard vigiously, shunning the other's pain away. 'You should be dead. She died because of you. Do you think I hadn't asked about her? How many times did I ask father and he told me she was dead? I believed him. I didn't have any choice.'

Kouichi stopped struggling but his tears kept flowing. There was something other than his tears on his cheeks. Kouji's tears fell on his face but he was oblivious to them as he continued shouting .'You are right. No one wants you.You are nothing.I...Ihate you…'

Amidst his fury, he raised his hand and meant to strike the other's fsce again but instead of squeezing his eyes shut or trembling furthure, Kouichi's movement seazed completely. He gave an empty smile his eyes became dull, lips moved flatly.'You'd hurt me too like everyoe else? Why did your father bring me here? So you can hurt me. Am I here to be your toy, brother?'

Kouji froze and swallowed hard. For the first time since he had met Kouichi, he noticed the faint scar above his eye and the fading bruise on his wrist when the pajama sleeve rolled down due to the harsh movement. The terrified look he had given him when he mentioned sending him back. And Kouji couldn't help but wonder about the type of life Kouichi had encountered in the orphange. His words sank deeper, causing him a crashing pain. Toy? Hurt him again?What was he doing? Why was he hurting someone who couldn't fight back? The realization that he was in fact pinning a defenceless person under him struck him so hard suddenly but before he could move away, the dior burst open suddenly. Satomi gasped, horrified.'Oh my god! What is going on? Kouji, leave him alone!'

''Mama!'

Kouichi's half muffled sob brought him to present as the memory faded and he found himself looking at the other in rare sympathy. Another nightmare. Kouichi was trashing and moaning misersbly as usual. His brother was prone to vivid and expressive nightmares almost every night and he wondered if it were a nightmare that gave him the courage to ask for the picture in the first place.

'She loves me…I had no one else…I wanted a…a life and a family…'Kouichi's words rang in his mind weaker than before. He looked at his sleeping form as he stirred and whimpered again,' Mama!'

She was his mother too even with nothing to prove that now. He lost his identity but struggled to stay strong and to fight back. Kouji didn't even expect him to defend himself or his mother's love but Kouichi did.

His eyes stared at the picture in his hand as his fingers trailed the frame. Hesitantly but finally making up his mind, Kouji stood and walked slowly to the drawer between their beds. For few silent seconds he stood there, gazing at his restlessly sleeping brother. He held the portrait near his chest and hugged it childishly then put it above the drawer.

'Kaa-san, I'll let him see the picture for your sake. You're proud of me now, right?'. Two trails of hot tears tiptoed on his face as he smiled at the picture.

She was smiling at him…too.

To Be Continued...


It was a bittersweet chapter, ne? A lot of emotions for Kouji to handle. The end wasn't that bad.

I guess it is a good change for him to be nicer but no one can trust Kouji when things became related to his contradicted feelings so don't take his behavior as a happy ending hehe*evil inner laugh*

Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter, please read, and tell me your opinions.

Updated 4/12/2020