Konichiwa. It has been a while, ne? I assume this chapter is the most light one till now. Well, they need a break for the time being. Unfortunately, my updates will slow drastically because of university and the loads of works I am starting *sigh*
Thanks for hoshinchan, DarkKnightCessi, nene-san and Immortal Fallen Radiance for reviewing. They made me happy hehe*Wide grin* Anywho, enjoy this chapter and please share with me your thoughts and opinions ^.^..
Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Digimon.
Kowarete Ita Nani No Tame Ni
Chapter Six
Just a little longer
Normally, people would freak out once they woke up to see an almost identical face in front of them. Fortunately, he wasn't one of those normal people. He just blinked at the sleeping reflection in front of him before rubbing his eyes with his hands almost uncharacteristically. He was too lucky that he got a hold of himself and stopped the small irrational part of him from screaming because of the startle. Beside him, Kouichi was sleeping soundly for what looked like the first time since his appearance in their life. The ocean like-blue blanket that was partially removed from Kouichi due to Kouji's sudden jump fell back into it place quietly as Kouji left the bed immediately, feeling his face burning in embarrassment. It shouldn't be strange for brothers to share the same bed, he reminded his crazily beating heart. He had heard Takuya complaining once about how his brother took the bed sheets from him and kept kicking in his sleep all the night when they were sleeping together because Shinya was scared to sleep alone that night. Takuya had made it clear that he preferred sleeping on the cold floor over sharing a bed with his brother.
He sighed in relief once he figured out that this experience was not as bad as Takuya's. Running a hand through his raven hair, he thought more clearly about it. 'When did I fall asleep anyway?'
He had been sitting on Kouichi's bed after Kouichi went to sleep but he couldn't remember slipping fully under the covers beside him. Maybe he had been too tired to resist sleeping and in such a cold weather his bed was an impossible place to sleep on especially with the lack of any blankets.
Coming closer again to the bed, he examined his brother's sleeping face. Kouichi's face seemed less flushed but didn't lose that pink color over his cheeks and his breathing was much easier. His hair wasn't stuck to his forehead due to the cold sweat like before. He was pale as usual but less than before. Kouichi seemed much better, sleeping quietly with his hair covering the left part of his face Another critical look told Kouji that he wasn't right when he thought immediately upon waking up that he was looking at his mirror. Kouichi was different. The sleeping child's features were softer and far peaceful than his. Kouji shook his head at the thought of himself looking as cute or innocent as his brother while sleeping. The word 'cute' was something he despised, especially with all those crazy fan girls in his school. He had to wonder in amusement what could they do if they saw Kouichi one day.
The sun was brightly shining, painting the room with its beautiful, warm light. The wall o'clock told him that it was already 11:35 PM. He wasn't surprised that he had slept this long as being in a vacation allowed him to sleep as much as he can.
After a nice, short shower, he put on his day clothes then moved towards the door. He suddenly froze in the middle of the room as if had been hit with lightening, stopping his bare feet from touching the carpeted floor. The glass broken pieces from the sleeping tablets' bottle glittered on the floor as the white, rounded pills were still passively thrown beside them. How could he clean this mess now? He wondered. Asking Satomi to do this was completely unpractical especially after his harsh words to her yesterday yet he wasn't able to think about any productive way to remove the tiny pieces from the grey carpet without hurting himself. He sighed in frustration before completely ignoring the whole problem and leaving the room. No need to ask her to do this, she will do it herself when she discovers it once she entered his room again.
Surprisingly, Satomi wasn't working in the kitchen as she usually was around that time. She was sitting in the long, brown couch, slowly drinking a cup of steaming coffee. His eyes took a quick look around the living room and the kitchen before realizing the covered plates on a tray above the kitchen's table. Satomi's eyes caught a glimpse of him once he entered the living room.
'Ohayo, Kouji.' She said politely. Her normal yet stern voice surprised him. 'Your breakfast is ready on the kitchen's table and I have prepared Kouichi-kun's breakfast.' She stated in the same calm voice before looking directly at his eyes and adding.' And I was waiting for you.'
He narrowed his eyes in challenging mood, not to challenge her but to force himself not to be surprised by her behaviors. 'Why?'
She smiled.' I will go to visit one of my friends. If your father called, tell him that, please.'
'Why don't you do it yourself? You know his office's number in Tokyo.'
She turned away from him, placing the coffee cup on the table.' Because he will ask me about what happened. I don't feel like talking to him now. This is for your sake too, you know.'
It was Kouji's turn to look at the floor sheepishly. If his father knew, what he had said to his step-mom, hell would break loose between them. Deep inside, Kouji knew he was wrong and seriously considered apologizing in the right time. However, that right time looked too far to him.
She entered the kitchen and carried the tray then walked towards Kouji, who was on the foot of the stairs. He avoided her eyes as she passed by him serenely and climbed the stairs towards his room.
'I am sorry for what I have done. I will apologize to Kouichi-kun as well,' she whispered once she took few steps up the stairs. His dark blue eyes widened at the sincerity of her words before he clenched his fist in confusion and irritation. She was trying to help his brother because no one was there to help him. The only way to ease Kouichi's pain in her opinion had been by pushing him into the unconsciousness bless and he understood this but couldn't stop himself from exploding when he saw Kouichi's fear of that supposed bless.
Maybe…it wasn't only Kouichi who needs to be given a chance and a place…maybe he had to think about giving them a chance as well.
It hadn't been easy to ignore the creeping boredom as he stifled a yawn while sitting in front of the TV. Not having Kendo practice led him to the other only avaiable choice: lying in the living room. Kouji wished he could go to his room to clear his mind as he had been used to do but the image of the other sitting there, awake for once stopped him. Satomi had been out for about two hours. She needed time to re-organize herself, he admitted to himself. The phone's ring interrupted the annoying commercial advertisement on the TV, encouraging him to turn it off.
'Kouji?' the one on the opposite line said without even giving him the chance to utter a word.
'Yeah. What is it,Takuya? Shouldn't you be in the soccer's practice?'He asked dryly in annoyance. Isn't it enough that the was stuck at home, unable to go out?
'Take it easy, Kouji. I wanted to make sure that the CD I gave you is still with you.'
Kouji raised an eyebrow despite knowing that the other can't see him .'Of course it is with me. Didn't listen to it yet.'
'Etto. Actually it is not mine. I have borrowed it from Izumi and she wants it back. She might come to my training practice today to take it. If I told her I lent it to you, she would kill me.'
Kouji rolled his eyes and scolded. 'Izumi as in Orimoto Izumi? You are proving that you are bakaa, Takuya! Why the heck didn't you tell me it wasn't yours? And Shouldn't you come and take it instead of asking if it is here? '
'I can't come to your home. I have to look after Shinya till 'kaa-san come from shopping. You like that type of music so I gave it to you. And don't deny that. I know y-'
There was a loud thud that cut Takuya's annoying blabbing. Kouji tensed and looked upstairs involuntarily before Takuya's angry voice in the background attracted his attention again. 'Stop jumping off the couch, Shinya. What will 'Kaa-san say if you hurt yourself while I am here?' His voice calmed a bit before returning to Kouji,' Can you at least send me a message if you found it? I lent another CD to one of the team's members and I am not sure which one.' Takuya groaned before shouting again at his brother who was playing with his soccer ball inside the house.'I will see you later, buddy.'
Before Kouji could protest or say anything else, Takuya hung up. Kouji sighed and put the phone down before looking up the stairs again. What happened to me? Why was I startled when I heard that thud? I thought it had been…
He dismissed his worry before making up his mind and climbing the stairs to his room.
The door was opened in less strength than Kouji had thought he would need. Usually, Kouji had to wait for few minutes before touching the knuckle and entering. This time he knew that the other was awake and it didn't stop him. At least he was expecting him, setting on his bed and looking at him. But when Kouji did open the door, he was surprised to find the other's bed neatly done but otherwise...empty. A shaky breath escaped his system as the silence of the room managed to stun him. That stillness was disturbed by the sound of pages' fluttering. Kouji blinked at the source of the voice, turning towards the floor beside his bookcase. He rarely come near that specific piece of furniture as he usually stuff his books on the shelves carelessly. The floor in front of it was clearly a mess as few books were on the ground with the short-haired child leaning over them and trying nervously to organize them .
'What the heck are you doing?' Kouji asked in pure curiosity as Kouichi jumped at the startling question. He raised his head from his sitting position on the floor, turning to face Kouji and blushed shyly before whispering softly. 'I-I was t-trying to walk...It had been a while since I did this on my own but…but I lost my balance so I lent on your bookcase. I wasn't clutching it tightly enough so I f-fell with the books.'
Kouichi took deep breath after what looked like his longest talk in weeks before returning to his previous job in organizing the fallen books. Kouji stared at him for few minutes and muttered to himself. 'So that thud was really…'
'Excuse me?'Kouichi asked him in uneasiness as Kouji didn't stop staring at him, causing him to feel uncomfortable. Kouji blushed before ignoring him and adding in a stern manner. 'Organize them quickly.' He paused before looking at the opposite direction and heading towards his black bag against the wall. A quick realization reached him as he stopped in his way, looking at the carpet to find it clean. He muttered to himself. 'She had cleaned it then.'
The long-haired boy opened his bag, throwing the books carelessly and searched for the CD, Takuya had given him few days ago. Heck, he didn't even know why he accepted it. Finding it seconds later, he looked around the room for his cell phone to send the message. His black cell phone was on the far end of the desk along with his headphones and Mp3. He walked towards it slowly before the scene of his brother between the books grabbed his attention slowly. Kouichi who was sitting cross legged on the carpet was turning the pages of a book and seemed too lost in what he was reading.
'What is this?'Kouji asked, startling Kouichi again who gasped and closed the book fearfully, 'I-I...found it in your bookcase.'
Kouji's hand clutched the book before frowning slightly. 'I have never seen it before.' He opened the first page and was taken aback by the fact that it was written in English. What surprised him even more was the neat signature at the top of the first page.
'Izumi Orimoto.' He read in amusement before it all clicked in its place. Izumi who had been in Italy for most of her life joined their school two years ago. Soon after she became friends with him and Takuya and it had always been a mystery how she managed to bear being with both of them despite how different they were. About a month ago, she lost a novel she had brought several times to school and the accusation felt almost immediately on Takuya as she claimed he was making a childish trick and took her novel. After hours of searching Takuya and his school bag, she gave up. Takuya who had previously made a dare to make the girl apologize for something forced the poor blonde to apologize for accusing him without a proof. Kouji muttered to himself, completely forgetting his brother and his confused look. 'That was really mean, goggle-head! I wasn't focusing on what was going on so he slipped it in my bag, knowing I would just drop the books once I am home.'
He allowed a devilish smirk to overcome him before picking his cell phone and dropping the novel on the ground. He stopped before calling Izumi's number, looking at Kouichi who continued reading carefully.
'You can read English?'
Izumi was half- Italian so English wasn't too much of a problem to her. It wasn't that bothering to him too but he was in no way going to read such a thick book in English.
Kouichi nodded.
He raised an eyebrow before staring at Kouichi closely to the point that Koucihi's face turned into deep shade of red.
'How?'
'I was in a program for foreign languages. A young researcher from United Sates wanted to examine how fast can Japanese children acquire a certain language. She chose children from different levels with different circumstances. I was one of twenty five kids.'
Kouji fought a surprised gasp and let his 'I don't care' mask fall down a little bit, allowing Kouichi to continue in the same hesitant and weak voice. 'We were supposed to study five languages in three months. The orphanage didn't mind her adopting few kids from there.'
Kouji pulled his desk chair and sat, doing a terrible job in hiding his interest.' It is impossible to master five languages in three months.'
'T-true. We achieved different levels in the end. I got a A- in English and French, B in Italian and Arabic and C in Spanish. Other kids got A in the five languages and some could hardly achieve a D in any.'
'Not Bad.' He said it in a clearly amused tone, making Kouichi blush again. 'So Izumi would finally find someone to talk to in Italian.'
Kouichi's eyes asked him for explanation and he simply answered. 'She is the owner of this book. She is half Italian and half Japanese.'
What interested Kouji in his brother's reaction was his simple nod. He didn't ask expected questions like the exact relationship between him and Izumi. To Kouji they were only friends and he knew (despite Takuya's denial) that the brunette has a crush on her. Why would he keep annoying her like this for anyway?
He dialed her number and received a surprised Izumi on the receiving end. 'You barely call, Kouji. Is something wrong? Is Takuya Ok?'
He answered in indifferently, hiding his amusement. 'Actually I have some good news. You remember the book you lost, Harry potter and the Half Blood Prince.'
She seemed confused at the strange topic Kouji was bringing. 'Yeah. I have read it three times before but I still can't believe I lost it.'she paused before resuming in boiling tone. 'I swear Takuya took it from my bag when I wasn't looking. That idiot made me apologize to him for nothing.'
'Well I have it.'
'It is okay, Kouji. I have read it. You don't have to give it to me.'
'But I won't give it to you because it is originally yours. I think Takuya had put it in my bag that day.'
Long silence enveloped the conversation as Kouji concidered asking her if she was okay but the high-pitched threatening shout cut his thoughts severely.'Cosa! Come avrebbe potuto? Io lo ucciderà lentamente e dolorosamente!'
Kouji sweat-dropped. 'Take good care of him then. And the CD he borrowed from you is with me.'
She thanked Kouji before he shrugged the topic off. Looking at Kouichi who left the book for the time being and looked at him a bit…sadly, he sighed mentally and interrupted Izumi's blabbing about what she is going to do with the goggle-head. He knew that she wouldn't do half of these things. After all, they are her only friends too far and Takuya had always had that special place in her heart.
'Can I borrow the book for few days? I will make Takuya take it to you later along with your CD.'
He was used to drop the suffix of her name when Takuya, she and him are together however in front of others Izumi-chan or even Orimoto-chan was the proper way to call her. The idea of calling a girl with her first name in front of his brother comforted him a bit. At least he is being himself in front of Kouichi who was looking at the book in slight fear of losing the opportunity to read it.
'Of course. As long as I know it is safe with you but seriously since when you are interested in English literature…or is it because of someone else?'
She added the last part teasingly as he rolled his eyes and scowled. 'Iie. I just want it.'
Takuya had told her everything back then so she knew that Kouji has a twin. Takuya's excuse was that he needed someone's help in case he weren't able to bring Kouji to his senses. He was angry at the beginning but he knew that Takuya was right besides Izumi was a friend he can trust and being raised in different society she was less judging than most of the people he knew.
''course. Try to call Takuya after I kill him. I mean to send your condolences to him.'
He pressed the close button before returning to Kouichi who was holding the book against his chest. 'You can have it for few days. Its owner doesn't mind.'
Kouichi asked hesitantly with the disbelieving look in his eyes. 'R-really?'
Fantasy books were his world. Nothing was much better than escaping the real world in the arms of a fantasy book that took him elsewhere…away from his loneliness and grief. He could build worlds and live in others, feeling the characters' sadness and happiness. Reading allowed him to discover himself much better and to replace his disability to study regularly in normal school as being adopted repeatedly prevented him from stable school life. No one could ask who was he or his intention from crawling in a corner in a library with a book as long as he follow orders. It had been few months since he last read a book or went to a library. Not all those who adopt him gave him the ability to leave home when he wanted. In fact it was the other way around but he didn't mind being scolded for reading or going to the library against the orders. That had been his world and the only place that he can be himself in.
Kouichi's surprised question was small and too innocent like a child who found his long-lost treasure that it ached Kouji's heart slightly as it shook his solid grounds. He shrugged off in fake disinterest. 'Yeah. Just take care of it.'
'I will. I promise you Kouji.' Kouichi promised in excitement, looking at the book gladly. The thought of calling Kouji by his first name troubled him as he placed the book on his lap and muttered, ashamed. 'I am sorry. I mean Kouji-ku-'
'It doesn't really matter as long as I am calling you with your first name.'
Neither could ignore the strange friendliness in the atmosphere between them. Comforting silence filled the air as Kouichi gave him a small nod before looking at the floor in confusion, debating his thoughts about yesterday's night. It felt impossible to believe what had happened as Kouji had never been caring or even pitying him like he had done. Part of him insisted that it was nothing but a fragment of his imagination or nightmares, caused by the drug yet the broken glass Satomi had cleaned this morning was real and her apologize for what she had done couldn't be a mere dream. Kouji's blanket on his bed affirmed the reality of what happened. He wished to believe that someone could care or at least try to care for him. He touched the faded thin lines of blood on his palms from yesterdays then whispered hesitantly as if talking to himself. 'It…it was a dream, wasn't it?'
Silence stretched longer than supposed and answered him coldly. His sad eyes stared at the book's cover in his lap. At least he had imagined something good for once, something to replace the torturing nightmares he had day and night.
Kouji gazed at the troubled form of his brother and hesitated to answer his question. The question wasn't directed to him so it wouldn't be problem to simply ignore it but…It hadn't been a dream. How much he wished to reveal that simple truth to his brother. The truth that would mean all the differences in the world to them. The thought of how happy his brother would be upon hearing the truth confused him even more. He wasn't ready…Not yet. He has to wait till he is completely ready to be a good brother.
Kouji stood in front of the door and murmured. 'Be careful next time.' His voice was so soft that it took Kouichi's full concentration to hear it. A soft, trembled smile curved Kouichi's pale lips as he sighed inaudibly. I didn't lose hope…Not yet…Maybe I should just wait for things to be better. And the other smiled softly, reflecting his twin's unseen smile.
To Be Continued...
Yep!I found a title. Why do titles and summaries became troubling more than the chapter it self sometimes? *Shrugging* I will never know, anyway...
Next chapter will invite Takuya physically in the events hehe. I like seeing him around. It seems that he is the only one so far that can bring Kouji to his senses which he really needs. He gives such a cheerful atmosphere in the plot as things are going to go really depressing after that.
For the book, I know there are seven books for Harry potter but as I am still in the sixth, I decided to let Kouichi read it along with me XD. About Kouichi's memories(He wasn't sure about the two times he talked with Kouji peacefully), you notice that his two meaningful conversation between him and Kouji(the song and after what happened with Satomi) ended with him taking a sleeping pill and sleeping right after it which caused his memories then to be vague and foggy however he remembered their first talk(first fight)and hopefully will remember that Kouji allowed him to keep the book.
(-)(-)(-)
Cosa! Come avrebbe potuto? Io lo ucciderà lentamente e dolorosamente (Italian): What ! How could he? I will kill him slowly and painfully.
Iie:No
Ohayo:good morning(informal)
Bakaa:idiot
