Reviews :
Snake557 : I just wanted to say one big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you! I love that the chapter was posted on your birthday, July 30th. I hope you're well friend, thank you for everything :D
Burgie : Yes indeed! :D Thank you!
Jay Sketchin : Aww that's okay! I hope you had a good trip. Thank you friend!
A/N : You know what... I'm done apologizing for the lengths of my chapters. I was just about to write a huge AN apologizing about how I just can't seem to stop, but... I'm using my brain and I'm being creative and I'm doing what I love. This chapter is incredibly dear to me, so I hope you enjoy, the length and everything it entails, which is actually crucial to Berri's and Turbo's character development, as well as the plot of this story. Thanks for being here for me, guys. It really means a lot.
Song Listened To :
How Do You Sleep? by Sam Smith
*Chapter 85*
In the still of Turbo's dim code room, Berri felt complete solace, an entire, desired stillness she finally put her finger on. A content warmth she felt her soul searching for, a craving she finally figured out, and although she was still on the verge of exploding and finally admitting it all to herself, she wondered if this code room exercise was a good opportunity to not only center herself, but really come to grips with the reality, or lack there of, of her fleeting desires. She was well aware she'd be keeping Turbo as a solid best friend, though she tried not to feel disheartened by not allowing it to go any further than that. Berri felt conflicting thoughts hit her, she wondered if the idea of letting Turbo in and being heart broken, in the end, would be far less painful than not exploring it whatsoever. She knew this was a toss up, and her heart and feelings were on the line, and in the impending action of trying to get rid of stress, she inwardly rolled her eyes and grumpily thought that this was just what she needed; new stress on top of current stress.
"So, before I begin... I just want to give you the option to either give permission, or not, for this process," Turbo politely instructed, and as bravely as he could, he cued up Berri's sensitive code box, opened it in its entirety and panned to a small segment near the bottom. An inquiry box popped up, stating to Turbo that he didn't have access to Berri's sensitive, innermost coding, and moving forward, from here, would require Berri's coded permission to access, an honor on par with a romantic exterior swap. Berri raised her eyebrows in delicate surprise as Turbo patiently carried on, "This isn't permanent, and... If you do give me permission to access your coding, like this, you can opt out at any second you decide. The only thing I'll be doing, here, is instructing you how to access your core coding. If you don't want to give permission, I can show you through example, just on myself. The choice is yours, Bear."
Berri softly fingered her lip in contemplation and peered her curious gaze to Turbo's. She knew, full well, she'd give Turbo any and all access to whatever was needed, here, though she hesitated and really reeled in Turbo's words. The idea that he'd have access to her inner most coding, even outside of an interior or exterior swap, really made Berri hold her breath and think deeply about the notion of it all. Knowing that this wasn't anything sexual, she still was certain that Turbo would have access to anything and everything inside of her mind, inside of her heart, and though she was certain he wouldn't dare go nosing about or pry into something he knew he shouldn't, the idea that he had the key to it made Berri feel the burn of her stress marks, on her temples. How desperately she tried to keep her feelings for him to herself, the fire she didn't want to start in fear of it engulfing her and burning her alive, broken hearted to ashes of confusion and despair, she lulled her eyes closed and held her breath as she stood on the edge of her dilemma.
"Your thoughts are safe, Bear, I can see you really fighting with yourself," Turbo eased a warm chuckle and remained still in the menu boxes of Berri's holographic code box; it glowed in silver pride, the marbled swirl of her coding shone beautifully against Turbo's grey skin, "This isn't an exterior swap, or a swap of any sort. This is just an open door so I can show you more about core coding. I'm just going to show you where your stressor marks are. We all have 'em on certain weak points on our body. This is purely instructional, but like I said, I can just keep the examples to my own coding, if you'd prefer."
"No, no, I... I trust you, it's okay," Berri eased, she held onto Turbo's word, and though he cocked an eyebrow and gave her a look as if to ask if she was certain, she smiled in assurance and bobbed a firm nod, "I'm sure. I just needed to think it through, is all."
"Wise," Turbo volleyed warmly, and as Berri gently sagged her thumbprint to the little box, specifically for Berri's coding only, upon access granted, Berri's code box suddenly unravelled with a world more display boxes, tiers of indexes and information splayed before Turbo, she held her breath and felt real fear draw her pupils into mere specks. Turbo inhaled a deep, shaky though readied breath and, although her code box's hologram was splayed with opened screens of information, he tenderly lofted it to the side and allowed it to hang in the side lines of his instructions. Stood at the dead center of his code room, Berri remained still, about six feet from him, and patiently listened as he began to pour information over her shivering soul, "So, deeper than interior coding, we have our core coding. Anyone in the Arcade can access this coding, of theirs... It just takes a lot of practice, a lot of meditation."
"Is it similar to glitching?" Berri wondered softly, to which Turbo shrugged and stood ready with his arms at his sides.
"It's similar in the way of it being a live-wired way of conveying non-verbal emotion. It can ACT as an intense exterior swap, if you're present with another being that also is in touch with their core coding, but other than that, it's simply a way to bring your stressor marks to the surface of your skin. The only way you can really iron out stress is to be in touch with these stressor marks... To learn how to soothe them."
"Stressor marks," Berri prod as she crossed her arms in tender curiosity, though she froze in gentle surprise the second Turbo inhaled a deep breath through his nose, slowly exhaled and remained still.
Berri honed her eyes tight to Turbo's figure as he closed his eyes, and although half a minute went by of tender silence, Berri was well aware Turbo was concentrating on something, what of, she wasn't sure. She remained still and awaited his instruction, though as if dimly risen from the dead, certain spots, on Turbo's body, began to ever so faintly glow with large, red-hot honeycombs, points of interest Berri was now entirely floored by. As if turning the ignition to a vehicle and letting the engine warm, Turbo inhaled a deep breath through his nose, after a minute, and reopened his eyes. His broad, bare chest expanded with said breath, and alongside this, the large, individual honeycombs on his body suddenly glowed with an amped shine of awoken inner power. Berri raised her eyebrows in whole surprise and huffed a shaky breath of bewilderment as Turbo gave her a humble smile.
"I-I've never seen coding marks so prominent, like that," Berri prod, she dared to take a step closer, so to get a better look at it all.
Unlike normal, glitched coding, these single honeycombs acted as massive, main arteries for Turbo's coding. A single, inch-thick string of a circuit connected each ancient, glowing honeycomb to the other, as if the main motherboard of Turbo's coding was being boasted, as opposed to the tinier veins of honeycombs and coding that were usually present, amidst visible coding, what Berri was typically used to. Turbo's coding glowed hot red, a confident show of his skill, the craft he had mastered over the years of desperately trying to get ahold of himself, Berri remained in awe of his knowledge and continued to feel eternally grateful for this opportunity. She warmly smiled up into his eyes in floored excitement to get started, for herself, and it was here did she finally begin to feel the stress, in her life, want to begin to slip away.
"Although everyone has a different coding structure, and a different coding color, we all have the same exact twelve stressor marks," Turbo kindly instructed, and although he relaxed from his concentrative state, his core coding continued to confidently remain aglow, as if accessing this part of himself was easy to hold onto, after years of solid practice. Turbo gently began to point to where each mark was, on his body, he started with the one on the crown of his head, which peaked through his hairline, on his forehead, "So... We have three on our head. One right here, on the forehead, two on your temples... We then have two on either side of our throats."
Berri raised her eyebrows and noted all the ones he pointed two, though as her eyes dribbled down Turbo's broad, masculine chest and core, she felt her face heat up a little as he went lower. He hovered his hand over his heart, where a single, massive honeycomb confidently glowed and connected to another honeycomb just above his belly button. Each honeycomb delicately surged in a glow of brightening and dimming, in rhythm with his heart beat.
"We have one over our heart, one on our stomach," Turbo continued on, and as Berri's eyes trailed down, he pointed both his hands to two red honeycombs on his hip bones, ones that sagged into the lip of his sweat pants and snaked thick, sturdy circuit lines out of sight and near his groin. Berri tried not to swallow hard as he continued on, "We have two one our hip bones, and thennn... Two on the bottoms of our feet."
Berri giggled a little as Turbo stood on one foot, grappled the ankle of his lifted foot and showed a singular honeycomb on the bottom of his left foot, on the ball of it, which also was prominent on the bottom of his right foot. Berri furrowed her eyebrows and quickly only counted eleven points, her curious eyes peered up into his.
"...Where's the twelfth mark?" Berri pressed, though Turbo gently set his foot back down and turned around.
"The last one is on the center of your back, like so," Turbo gestured as he now confidently turned around and put his whole, incredibly gorgeous tattoo on display for her, and although her eyes noticed the much larger stressor mark between Turbo's strong, prominent shoulder blades, her eyes quickly took in as much of his awesome tattoo as she could.
"So... You're saying, I have these SAME stressor marks?" Berri questioned with a giggle, to which Turbo bobbed a nod and turned back around.
"Yep! On you, they'd be normal circles, not honeycombs, and... They'd be silver, but yes. Every gamer has these same stressor marks, no matter what kind of a gamer they are," Turbo warmly instructed, his coding confidently glowed in a dim show of reserved power, Berri was entirely sure she underestimated all of the strength he was now confidently exuding.
"So, how do I, well... Access mine?" Berri tenderly wondered, though Turbo faltered and softly lofted his eyes to the coding he had gently lofted to the wayside, Berri's splay of menus and indexes, he finally gave Berri a knowing look and heaved a shaky sigh.
"Well, that's sort of where your permission came into play," Turbo kindly pressed, he motioned her to follow him, and as they eased into the gravity of Berri's holographic displays, complete with an area that had a basic outline of her body, a grey silhouette that properly showed where all of her circuity lay. Underneath the mess of all the circuit lines, the much bigger circles, of her circuity, were prominent; solid stressor marks that Berri was floored she had, even though she didn't doubt Turbo's word. Turbo gently gestured to said silhouette and gave her a look of kind anticipation, "I can cue them with a press. What I was going to do was, highlight one by one, and explain to you what each one means, what emotions each one harbors, and how to properly get rid of stress. I wanted you to experience how each one feels, so you can then take all of this information and practice for yourself."
"I see," Berri eased nervously, it was here did Turbo notice she was growing more and more shy. He almost was fueled by it, the tender sweetness she radiated, something that she didn't show incredibly often; although he was entirely grabbed by her fiery nature, somehow this shy and reserved peek, she was now quietly revealing, had him beyond intrigued. The different, quieter angles to her personality only had him more certain in his feelings for her, the more he wanted to desperately learn her every move. Berri smiled up at him in continued reservedness and shrugged her dainty shoulders in coy cuteness, "I think I'm ready. This won't, well... h-"
"Berri, none of this will hurt, I promise you," Turbo blurt a small chuckle and lovingly rested his hand to her shoulder. He tenderly squeezed and peered deeper into her eyes, "The only thing that could potentially hurt are emotions or feelings you run into... Things you maybe need to work out, within yourself. The reason for the stress."
"Okay, I trust you," Berri affirmed, and with such, Turbo warmly instructed her to stand back a few feet.
As Berri stood in the inner, dimmed circle of Turbo's glorious code room, her feet held to the edge of the etching, a massive honeycomb that typically only lit up when Turbo was doing proper code room work. She exhaled a shaky breath and prepared for the floodgates to open, the causes of any stress lofted her way, the main point of contention being the awful train ride she took earlier in the week, the near-death experience she had with the deleter inside Arcade's train rails. She rested her shoulders, peered to Turbo in loving curiosity and was floored with the gentle way Turbo navigated through her code box. He made it so the silhouette of her body, inside one of the code indexes, was a little larger, so he could properly map just where her twelve stressor marks laid underneath her skin.
"Okay, so... The three on your face are all connected, in a similar fashion," Turbo stated, and as easily as he could, he allowed all three stressor marks, on Berri's forehead and the sides of her temples, to flare in a dim show of silver coding, fresh and new. Berri inhaled a small, startled breath and flinched as her coding suddenly swirled with a new awakening, as if this was just exactly what she needed, an extremely heightened feeling of renewal.
"Whoaaa," Berri huffed in whole entire surprise, suddenly her eye sight gained an extreme high definition, her eyes pierced to Turbo's in whole surprise; she was floored to find that her eyesight was so good that she could somehow see the faintest, cutest little freckles just underneath Turbo's eyes, even from the ten foot distance from him. She giggled in continued surprise and looked about, "I can see everything so clearly, what the heck?"
"Yeah, doing this heightens all your senses. Suddenly everything feels realer than real," Turbo blurt a chuckle and bobbed a nod, "Pretty cool, huh?"
"It is," Berri blurt with a laugh, though just as the emotion of high defined eye sight hit her, a wave of new, startling emotion suddenly slammed into her full-force.
With the aid of her eyesight, she suddenly got a very real flashback of the incident she had on the train, the very core of her stress. Berri huffed a staggered breath and felt her inside go cold, she was well aware she now had a very far-off look in her eye, and although the strange sensation of revisiting a memory coat her retinas, she could still see Turbo in her peripheral. He froze and urgently peered to her in question, as if to wonder if they had successfully gotten to the source of this pain in one fell swoop, he almost peered back into Berri's coding in a show of unadulterated hope. He cleared his throat and furrowed his brow into Berri's coding, and just as he was about to maybe cue another one of her stressor marks, he peered back to her in sorrow as she suddenly huffed a shaky, silent noise of a cry; big tears welled in her eyes, and it was here did Turbo know to only verbally rush to her aid.
"What you're experiencing is normal, and quite frankly, I'm glad it's happening, and so soon," Turbo rushed to explain, though his tone remained warm and calm, "The stressor marks, on your temples, obtain hardships you see, and will hold onto traumatic events that happened. This is where bad memories, or nightmares, come from. It's your body's defense mechanism... Warning you to never entangle with said traumatic experience, ever again."
"I-I don't want to look at it, anymore," Berri pleaded in now teary desperation, her chest began to heave in a show of panic as she panted. She shook her head and urgently blinked her eyes, though the images of the deleter, the bloody train cab, and every traumatic little detail in between, refused to leave her line of sight.
"Center yourself, Berri. You have to face it head on... You HAVE to think about it, you have to feel it, grieve over it, and let it go," Turbo instructed, and though he wanted to baby her and cue the coding on the soles of her feet, he gestured to her and was well aware she was capable and strong enough to figure it all out for herself, "If you were to ground yourself, in the act of stressor marks, which point would you flare?"
"M-My feet," Berri staggered as she shut her eyes, shook her head and urgently wiped tears from her eyes. The angry, silver glow on her temples, and her forehead, persisted in a throb of her beating heart, the flare of urgency Turbo so desperately wanted to shush and soothe, though he knew she needed to be strong for herself, and figure this all out on her own without a crutch.
"The markers on the soles of your feet are a grounding mechanism, any ounce of laziness or 'kicking your feet up' prolonged notion will cause these markers to clog with lack of use. Root yourself in your stance, Berri. Pretend you're actually in front of that creature and you have the power to have civil conversation with it," Turbo explained as he hovered tight over Berri's coding, her cute figure did everything it could to catch her breath, her eyes were held shut tight in a roll of dread as she continued to cry, though Turbo lovingly encouraged her further, "Stand your ground, Bear. Be proud of your roots... Don't be a bendable weed in a storm. You're a tree with thick roots. What would you say to this creature, having that knowledge? The knowledge that you won't be knocked down?"
"I'd tell it to piss off," Berri choked in a teary mess, though Turbo raised his eyebrows amidst a now crumbling smile and did absolutely everything he could to not laugh.
"Okay, but don't let anger fuel you," Turbo stifled further laughter. He cleared his throat and sweetly smiled in Berri's direction, "Although you're rooted, don't stay rooted in anger and hatred... I know it seems impossible, but try and show the creature some love."
"It doesn't deserve it, it almost killed me," Berri stabbed as she opened her eyes, though her strange, high definition vision was clouded with silent, moving images of her memory desperately trying to torture her. The soles of her feet successfully illuminated underneath her, and much to Turbo's surprise, her coding began to gently ease into the etched honeycomb on the floor of his dim code room, her ravenous silver coding spread like wild fire. She grit her teeth and continued on, through her tears, "It deserved death, it didn't deserve love."
"Berri, find your heart," Turbo instructed, and although he wasn't firm, his tone was still authoritative; he felt urgency course through him the second Berri shut her eyes tight and shook her head in defiance.
"I don't want to think about this anymore," Berri urged in stubbornness, though not as if to request for Turbo to let up.
"You're going to let it conquer you? You want to remain with the stress, Bear?" Turbo quietly prod, though Berri sagged her shoulders and urgently peered to Turbo, as if to beg for his help.
"No, I don't, I-I just..." Berri trailed off through her tears, the incredible, large honeycomb on Turbo's floor was now half filled with the crawl of her angry silver coding.
"You can't carry this burden, any longer. You can't press on without yourself," Turbo eased, his deep voice reverberated in her ears like an echo of bass, the incredible heighten of all her senses had her skin plagued with goosebumps. Turbo's powerful voice carried on like a roll of thunder over her shivering soul, a warmth she now knew she couldn't live without, "Tessa spared my little brother in likely her darkest hour... You want to know how she did it?"
"H-how?" Berri wondered amidst tears, though she knew the word about to come out of Turbo's mouth.
"Heart," Turbo pressed, he shook his head and was thrilled the ball was rolling, here, "The reason she's such a fantastic Queen is because everything she does is fueled by love, and by heart. I know she passed that on to you, Bear... You can't ignore it."
Berri felt as if a tidal wave had come crashing down onto her soul, and merely thinking about everything her mother and father had done for her, had her body surging with purpose. With a jolt, she felt heat over the left side of her chest, and as she glanced down, she noticed another large, glowing circuit circle prominently and proudly shining. As tears continued to fall, she felt a weird sense of relief come over her silver circuits, love she had inside of her, all along, love she deployed on her friends and family day in and day out, though something she never really gifted to herself. She knew Turbo's words were right, and everything he was lofting into her shaking soul was solid, valuable information.
"Rooted and full of love, what would you say to this creature?" Turbo wondered, again, the previous spat of her angry words were something he was praying she'd reverse and eradicate.
"I'm sorry," Berri blurt with a small sob of a cry, she shook her head and shut her eyes tight, and amidst the tremble of her shoulders and the quaking of her soul, she was aware Turbo wasn't rushing to her aid for a reason, "I-I'm sorry I killed you... But I had to."
"Having blood on your hands isn't fun, I understand," Turbo pressed, he shook his head and completely leveled with her, "I'm the reason my people are gone... I'm the reason everyone inside TurboTime is dead. I spent the better half of my life beating myself up over it, and although your situation is different, and you were protecting yourself, I KNOW you're still harboring guilt, deep down, for killing another being."
"I am," Berri sobbed, something so deeply rooted inside of her, the event of this exposure had every nasty worm of tar come eking out her pores, it was something she could equate to a coded detox. She desperately peered to Turbo and shook her head, "I feel so bad."
"Feel it, you're allowed to... Sit in that feeling, Bear, it's OKAY to feel negatively," Turbo urged, though he narrowed his gaze and lovingly peered to her as he safely hovered over her coded information, "The mistake you're making is STAYING in the negative feelings. You've felt it, now... Forgive yourself, and let it go..."
Berri panted through her nose and knew it was the last thing she deserved, she shook her head and narrowed her gaze, as if to silently protest Turbo, though he raised his eyebrows and volleyed her back a look of gentle authority, as if to promise her that his advice was fool proof. He bobbed a small nod, in retort to her head shake, and as Berri sagged her trembling shoulders in defeat, she finally closed her eyes and sagged in Turbo's sound advice. She desperately steadied her breathing, rooted herself in every single last strand of circuitry she was made of, all the incredible people she was related to, the glorious game that kept her safe, she looked the deleter in the eye and felt a strange peace come over her. The marks on her temples softly dulled to a gentle glow, though the mark on her heart and the soles of her feet confidently shone, a show that she was successful in beginning the process of dwindling down the incredible stress she was thrusted into. Turbo smiled at their success and sagged his shoulders in mild relief.
"Good, Bear," Turbo warmly encouraged, he bobbed a nod and, although his own stressor marks were still confidently glowing as well, they were far dimmer than the three that were currently on display, on Berri's body; the one on her heart and the two on the soles of her feet. She lulled her eyes closed and visibly sank into the new feelings she was melting in, though unbeknownst to Turbo, said silver circuits that soaked into the etched honeycomb, on the ground, began to inch closer to his feet, which were crossed over the etchings, as well, "The stressor mark, on your forehead, deals with instinct, elevated thinking. Whilst you were in the middle of that battle, that stressor mark was doing anything and everything to keep you riding on instinct and adrenaline, all while the marks on your temples were practically recording everything you saw, so to remember it forever. Most of our stress comes from those three marks, they're basically the main obtainers for the majority of your senses."
"Like it keeps a log?" Berri wondered kindly, she inhaled a deep, nasally breath and looked a bit more radiant, a renewed touch of maturity that kissed her teary cheeks, Turbo allowed his eyes to soak into her beauty and now found that he couldn't look away.
"Yes, ma'am... You feel better?" Turbo wondered sweetly, she nodded and sagged her shoulders in a roll of relief.
"I-It'll take time, but... Yes... I feel much better, thank you," Berri eased in a rise of uplift.
"Allow yourself to go through these motions, and each time you do, your core coding will get stronger," Turbo instructed, "We still have the other ones to expand on, but I can help you with those, another time... I'm just glad we made progress."
"I am too," Berri sighed, though as she closed her eyes and steadied herself, she forgot that her heightened coding had eked itself into the avenue of an etching, on Turbo's flooring.
"Is there anything else you maybe want to expand on, in this instance?" Turbo wondered kindly, though in a weird rock of a jolt, he flinched in whole surprise the second the stressor marks, on the bottoms of his feet, suddenly came in contact with something foreign.
Turbo huffed a shaky breath, looked down and, although he wanted to take a large step or two backwards, he wobbled and felt gripped to the floor underneath him. Turbo jolted in surprise, flung his head up and locked eyes tight with Berri's equally as surprised figure. Both beings froze in an enchanted whirl of unadulterated delight and shyness, the irritated spark of opposed codes that suddenly came together in an easy sag of their very first core coding exterior swap, Turbo felt his heart suddenly spike in a hefty few beats of thumping nervousness, the clear stab of their surprised lock of eyes, the shy swap they had been successfully avoiding, though now was accidentally upon them, Turbo panted and now began to feel a roll of impending anticipation come crawling over him, the very thing he wanted to wallow in, the lovely, cool kiss of Berri's silver coding that now sagged into his, once and for all. A temporary embrace that Turbo secretly wanted to make permanent, though now that he was caught by surprise, amidst this share of thoughts, he was well aware absolutely everything was due to come spilling out, here and now.
In hot realization that Berri was accidentally letting her coding eke out onto the avenues of Turbo's etched code room floors, she froze in a spike of dread and desperately tried not to feel embarrassed. As if to back track and feel a weird sense of vulnerability just cake her thoughts, she felt a very real amount of warmth and understanding coat her soul in the form of Turbo's patient, hot red coding now successfully mixing with hers. Her chest heaved, she could feel her face get hot, and in their gained eye contact, Berri shivered in hard surprise and felt every single last one of her stressor marks suddenly come alive with a gorgeous, rosy golden glow of their glossy, shared coding. The second Berri felt her skin prickle with the feeling of being mortified, it was immediately eradicated by the kiss of Turbo's hot coding, a reminder that every single last ounce of her feelings were safe with him, and everything that he had done for her, and into this instance, was all done in her absolute best interest. In the quick swallow of said information, for good, she huffed a shaky giggle and quietly meeped him an apology strictly through the thoughts of their now shared coding.
Turbo volleyed her back a nervous, shy smile and shook his head, his kind voice rolled in her ears as their shared thought system volleyed her a kind affirmation, to state that she had no need to be sorry, for this, and quite the contrary belief, he nervously assured to her that this was wanted. Although what would seem forward as verbal words, they both fell into an entirely secretive conversation of boldness, a boast of the secrets they held for each other underneath their skin, Berri raised her eyebrows and was floored by this realization; the idea that they could think absolutely anything to each other and not have it misconstrued by tone or messy words, the raw fact that they felt in their hearts were now so plainly out on display, something they could so easily see without any guesswork, Turbo felt his heart pound on surround sound at the solid fact that this little, intimate bubble of raw, shared core coding was right where he needed to be, a point of interest he desperately wanted, his shining moment to confess his love to her and pray to User she'd received it well enough.
Although Turbo now felt incredibly vulnerable, and was well aware Berri did as well, he inhaled a shaky breath, expanded his chest in a gentle rush of bravery and knew he needed to somehow keep up the lesson he had started. Now that Berri was successful in beginning to wash away past trauma, and learned how to properly deal with it, Turbo knew the next step was to begin healing the wound, to properly surround herself with uplifting thoughts that would help aid her in her journey. As confidently as he could, he soaked in every inch of her pixels, her lovely essence that eased like silk through his skin, he shivered in her whole existence and now totally understood he was doomed, and as desperately as he tried to keep his head above water, he long blinked in realization and knew, full well, this wasn't a solo dive anymore, as if the deep end eagerly beckoned them into its lovely abyss. He remained frozen in his stance, ten feet from her lovely figure, and although she was such a distance, he could swear she was sagged in his arms, an embrace of coding he felt finally had brought him to life, after a hibernation of needed solitude.
As clearly and platonically as he could, he kindly asked her just what made her the happiest, in this world. A non-verbal cue of thoughts that eased in and out of their coding, something that registered with her as clear as day, she side-eyed Turbo with a kind smile and, through the expansion of her chest, she inhaled a deep breath and prepared to overflow him with everything she had previously stated, all those days ago, of just the things that brought her sheer happiness. Amidst the heightened nature of their core coded exterior swap, Berri suddenly flooded Turbo's incredible vision with the images of her racing Chester about the lot, the gridded sight she had on the entire palace lot when her and Chester were soaring about his track. Trees ducked in and out of vision, birds fluttered about in a chaotic whirl, buildings and corridor pillars whizzed by, and although Turbo barely flinched at the suddenness of everything, he felt his soul just soar, his heart raced alongside her fervor, and as easily as blinking, her vision switched.
The strum of her incredible electric guitar, fingers that moved like lightning, the intense reverberation of noise the amp made had their skin rising in goosebumps, her incredible singing voice that coat over their ears and thoughts in an embrace of heavenly melody, the loud, sweet, confident tune of her's and Turbo's song so successfully mixed into an upbeat pop song, Turbo nearly beamed so wide that his face split in half. He huffed a bashful chuckle and just soaked in every single last idea of perfection Berri had, and just as flits of visions, of the palace lot, Wren and Theo, her family, her parents and everything in between came rushing and fleeting, Turbo felt his heart begin to squeeze in whole understanding as Berri eagerly began to unfold her whole heart, before him. The gleam of Turbo's tower on the horizon, the flicker of his incredible view, from his loft, the gloss of Turbo, himself, sat on his bike, the recent memory that Berri successfully glossed across their vision, of Turbo's bare back, donned with his incredible tattoo, it wasn't until everything stopped did Turbo now have just a clear view of Berri, still stood in her position ten feet from him, as if she were conveying, here, that the very being before her was the end all, the thing that made her the happiest.
Turbo panted through his nose and now understood that the lesson was over, and it was here that he began to feel his hands itch. The overflow of a new feeling he was receiving from Berri was unlike anything he had felt from her, before, and although he could simply venture a guess in past glances and cute, blushing smiles, actions that spoke far louder than words, he sagged in this soak of a feeling and felt true, unwavering love hit him head on. As strong as he felt it for her, he was floored to feel it hit him in the same fervor, the innocent look of near-terror in her eyes, as if to convey to him that this was her deepest, darkest secret, and she was entrusting him with it, and no amount of words could possibly convey the maze of emotions she was feeling. Although Turbo wanted to do a back flip, rush to her and sweep her away into a romantic kiss, do anything an everything he could to seal her away as his, he felt another feeling coat him; one of conflict, a dilemma he was now dreading to be apart of. Before he could properly give her a heavy dose of his undying love, he sagged his shoulders and kindly accepted her worries, ones of which he was mildly surprised by.
Berri tucked her hands to her chest and nervously peered to Turbo, almost as if to beg him to understand, as if she wasn't about to ask him to change his ways just for her, the desperation for him to leave his User forsaken loft, the game no less, to enjoy everything life had to offer the two, to attend her future shows, to be strong and brave in the face of adversity, with her by his side, she knew she was overloading him with every single last worry that was on her heart, though she almost didn't care. She shook her head as tears welled in her eyes, desperation in her coding that begged him to understand, to know that this wasn't an ultimatum, that falling into love with him would be incredibly easy if it were for a few switch ups, she almost prayed that somehow Turbo would throw himself on her and agree, though much to her dismay, he heaved a long, hot sigh through his nose and looked down to his feet in contemplation. The very image of the two standing on the single, glowing, rose-golden honeycomb in Turbo's dim code room, his figure frozen in this sticky dilemma, he finally gave her his golden eye contact, one of which glowed with the same color as their coding, Berri grimaced and wanted nothing more than to just end all their wonderings and ease into his arms forever.
Although their coding now swirled with questions and nervousness, heightened grapples of love and plea, Turbo so carefully removed himself from his end of the honeycomb and began to step over to Berri. Berri froze and was thrilled he was coming over to join her, though with every press of a step, she felt their coding remain connected in a hot string of passion. The rush of worry and love and romance that she had just lofted him now very easily came crashing back down to her, and although he was so carefully making his way over to her, she almost felt a sense of apology soak through their connection. She long blinked in tender surprise and could feel Turbo's whole presence, just decades of wisdom, an easiness of masculinity, it all easily covered her in a sweet embrace of assurance, as if he was potentially about to make clear that he was due to reassuring her of a few things. Berri felt as if the universe was somehow colliding in on itself as Turbo pressed into her gravity, as if the magnitude of it all, their shared coding and now shared proximity, just couldn't handle it. Berri huffed a shaky noise and silently plead for Turbo to affirm her worries, to hopefully either end this nonsense right now, or jump into the deep end with her. In a tremble of a welcome, she was floored to feel Turbo's loving hands so tenderly reach up to her face to cup her jaw and cheeks.
Berri sagged in whole state of vulnerability, she eased her trembling hands to the broad of Turbo's lower chest, she quietly assured to him that she felt so strongly for him, just in their silent, coded connection, and just as Turbo's warm smile spread across his face, his masculine features that lit up with the feeling of her love that coat over him, she felt her knees go weak. Through a shaky exhale, she was thrilled that Turbo held her close, and in this venture, he eased both of his pointer and middle fingers into either sides of the stressor marks on her jugular. Although she had just gotten a good dose of non-verbal expression out, he heaved a shaky sigh, through his nose, and knew it was now his time to give back. Although his rosy, golden eyes lovingly peered into hers, he flood her stressor marks with a swathe of clarity and desperately tried to make clear, here, that he was floored by her tender reveal, though what he needed in this instance was a very real amount of patience.
Berri furrowed her eyebrows in tender confusion as Turbo nervously peered into her eyes. In a warm unload, he shyly allowed his feelings for her, in return, to coat the undersides of her skin, to pierce through her heart like cupid's arrow, he knew it was something that wasn't hidden at all, though the look of loving, floored delight, in her vivid blue eyes, had Turbo's heart racing faster than ever. He huffed a shaky chuckle and felt entirely comfortable in her tight, close proximity, and although he so desperately wanted to lean in and kiss her supple lips, he held back. He was well aware none of this was fair to her, the nervous, tender reveal that it wasn't wise for him to lead her on with such a wonderful romance, only to not be able to supply her with everything she needed. Although he could feel her coding begin to want to maybe argue or protest, to maybe state that it was entirely fine, in this moment of heat, Turbo knew, full well, their spark would dwindle in this act of grasping at straws. So badly did he want to embrace her and sweep her away into a whole night of romance, though the most he could afford in this moment was the tender lull of his forehead into hers, the sag of the stressor marks, on the crowns of their heads, eased together like jigsaw pieces.
Berri relaxed into his wise, nonverbal words and, although she desperately wanted to argue, she closed her eyes and sagged her shoulders the second Turbo's thoughts now became mildly desperate. Berri frowned and warmly held her hands to the gentle, inner bend of Turbo's arms, the quivering questions that Turbo quietly asked of her, nervous pleas of asking her to be patient with him, to keep him in mind while he came out of this trying time, in his life. Turbo huffed a soft, nervous breath onto the bridge of her nose and made clear that he knew this wasn't fair to ask of her, though he continued on as selflessly as he could. He grimaced in mild irritation and made clear to her that he wanted her to pursue a life with Gunner, to be happy, to go out and be active, to rule all the stages of Academy. Turbo could feel defiance coming from Berri, as if that was something she only wanted in loo of Turbo not even being in her life, and the only thing she wanted was him. Turbo furrowed his eyebrows harder and scrunched his eyes in mild desperation; he begged her to seek just what she needed, and to not dawdle, to not just simply wait around for him, though in the same question, Turbo also nervously begged her to keep the idea of their little ember of love on the table, to not close the door on him.
Berri squeezed Turbo's upper arms and felt tears sting her eyes. She smiled and relished in the incredibly selfless act Turbo had now deployed on her, she knew this likely was incredibly hard for him, though she somehow felt relieved to have the ball in her court. How kind it was of Turbo to recognize that they both had their own battles to conquer, and maybe after they got a grip on themselves, they could potentially have a grip on each other. Berri knew this was sound advice, as it gave Turbo time to get comfortable with the idea of leaving his tower, let alone the game, and it allowed Berri the freedom to do as she pleases. She sagged her shoulders in a shaky exhale of sorrow, and just before she was about to explain to Turbo that she didn't want him to feel betrayed, if she maybe saddled herself with Gunner for awhile, Turbo smiled amidst their lovely connection and firmly assured her that it would definitely sting, though the only thing he wanted was to see her happy. Berri frowned and now had to reevaluate just what that meant to her, and although she knew one day, it'd all be clear, the only thing she wanted, in this instance, was a clear answer. She knew the two would never not be best friends, though somehow, the thought of losing him as a romantic partner, killed her inside. Although one stress had been taken control of, she felt dread over the sheer fact that new stresses now began to creep it's way into her system, ones of which she knew she had to navigate by herself via Turbo's teachings, the one person she was trying to save herself from.
A/N : I painted artwork for this chapter, titled 'Save Me From You' on my deviantART.
I ALSO painted a (censored) scene from Turbo's and Berri's very first swap, titled 'The Thirteenth Stressor'
ANOTHER also - I've been uploading the pages for Chapter 46's comic, I currently have 5 pages with a 6th one on the way shortly. I originally thought the chapter would easily be 20 pages long, but it turns out, it may only end up being around 10 pages. Which actually works for me, because I'm coming up on my 100th chapter - which means, y'all can vote for the NEXT chapter to be in comic form! I'll remind everyone again the closer we get to that 100th mark! Thanks for everything guys.
For ALL my artwork, check out my deviantART, Username Vyntresser!
I post WIPs, every day life and artwork (as well as pictures of Chester, my bearded dragon!) to my Instagram. My Username there is Vyntastic
And, lastly, I'll be posting ALL my uncensored NSFW artwork to my Twitter, Username Vyngasmic ;)
Enjoy guys!
