AN: WELL I DIND TIME TO KEEP TRADUCING THIS STORY SO I BETTER POST IT NOW. THANKS FOR READING.
D: LAW AND ORDER SVU AND ALL ITS CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE.
I wake up in between shouts again. All exalted, my bre4ath agitated and the fear taking my whole spine. I hurry to turn the night lamp on and look around without much of a surprise I'm in my room… alone. It is not like if I was expecting something different.
I've always had nightmares but now I suffer them every night. And they are not general common nightmares, it actually is just the same fucking nightmare every night. I should be bored of it by now. I should be immune to it, but it's quite the contrary. The nightmare just terrifies me more and more. It terrify me until I'm woken up by my own shouts.
I analyze it and realize it would not have the same effect with anyone else. It doesn't really have a scary creature, ghost or a terrible life threatening situation. Nothing like that. Actually there's nothing but a big emptiness. A huge endless maze of trees leading nowhere. As dark as that night was, just enough light to be able to see that there is nothing to see. I always begin to run at some point without am actual aim, just looking around for something. As time passes I just start getting more and more desperate and I try to run faster and as I speed up I get clumsier and clumsier until that moment arrives. I always know it is going to happen but I'm never able to make it stop. To wake up. The moment when I just arrive to the station and realize that there was nothing to look for, nothing to be find. That it has never been anything out of that empty place for me. And that there will never be anything for me out there.
I just stay sit in my bed trying to catch my breath again. I surely woke up the neighbors again. They might be used to it by now. I would like to feel stunned again, but I can't really remember how I managed myself to be that way before. The nightmare is still fresh in my mind just as everything that gives me pain. I don't really want to stay in the middle of the trees surrounded by the fog. My eyes are soon filled with tears even when I fight them back letting my head crash to the pillow. The pain starts again just at the edge of the hole in my chest. I decide to hug myself to try and keep it together.
I guess how much can this all go on. Maybe one day, in a year or two, the pain will decrease until the point it is actually bearable. I'll feel strong to take a look to the past. To those months which I consider the best of my existence. I'm sure that when that day comes I will fell thankful with myself for all the time I'm taking. More than I could ask for. More than I actually deserve. Maybe I will look at it that way. But… What if the hole never closes? If this damage is permanent? If it never gets better?
Fin's words arrive to my mind "We lost him too Olivia. We lost a good friend and we really don't want to lose you too." They remind me the selfish woman I've been. I haven't really think on anyone else. His kids. They may be devastated. His mother. I still remember her eyes in the funeral day. Well… only time can tell if my damage is irreversible. But now, and seen that the stunning is not coming back I should try to follow the doctor's recommendations. I wake up and walk to the kitchen as the nightmare starts to vanish. Now that I pay more attention it is evident Alexandra was in here. Everything is so clean. I think it has never been this clean actually. I arrive to the fridge and open it just to discover a big empty north pole. No food. I feel my stomach roar, well I actually listen to them roaring. Poor neighbor might have listen to them too.
"Now what?" I ask aloud looking towards my celing. Which is something new. Maybe a new stage of my madness. No more Zombie Olivia but now a crazy talk alone lady. Inevitably a big saws escapes from my chest and I'm really tiered so I give up. I walk back to my bed, hug his blue shirt and fall into a deep sleep. I'll wait to tomorrow.
MUNCH'S POV
I walk to the building's elevator holding in one hand my warm morning coffee —real coffee, not like the blasphemy they give us up there in the office— and a box of donuts in my other hand. Now that Donald forbidden me to eat from his personal stuck of donuts I bring my own box. I wait the up ride until I arrive to the same old floor where the same old unit is waiting for the same old me. I know the stupid elevator music by heart. I can swear the ride up is every day slower. I finally hear the bell announcing my arrival to my destiny. The doors open and I step out the little elevator box.
"Thank you." Out of nowhere my coffee is gone and the donut's box is wide open. I look around with doubt trying to find out who the hell assault me with such speed. "God this is good." The thief says with a mouth full.
"Olivia!" My voice hasn't sound that surprised for a while. I decided to arrive earlier today and I really wasn't expecting to find someone in here. Much less her.
"mmm… I really needed to eat some carbs." She says as her cheek are all round for her mouth been full of the big bite she just gave to one of my donuts.
"What are you doing here?" I ask her as I walk to the middle window in the floor in order to land the box in there.
"I work here." She answers. I look at her for a couple of seconds. Her hair is up in a ponytail and it seems to be wet. She is using a grey sweatshirt which I kind of recognize. I look a bright in her eyes and her nose tip is red. I think she may have a cold.
"Want some?" She asks offering MY coffee to me.
"No thanks. You look contagious." I tell her.
"It's just a cold. I already bought the vitamins." She assures me taking the coffee back to her mouth trying to swallow the piece of donut in her mouth.
"What are you doing here?" I ask again.
"I've told you. I'm here to work."
"I mean here in the alley." I clarify. "Besides waiting to see who you can take food from. What are you doing out here." I joke a little. She gives me a little smile and turns her eyes down. Fear invading her expression.
"I don't know if I'm ready to go in there." She admits.
T BE CONTINUED.
AN: IT'S SHORT BUT IT'S SOMETHING. I'LL KEEP TRADUCING IT AND I'LL TRY TO FINISH ALL MY OTHER STORIES AS WELL
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO WHOEVER IS OUT THERE! .
